It’s Tough Getting Older
holy shit this dude is killing it
Found the comedian, his name is Andy Huggins and here's his NPR interview
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It’s Tough Getting Older
holy shit this dude is killing it
Found the comedian, his name is Andy Huggins and here's his NPR interview
something that made me sit down and stare at my wall for an hour
point of reference from an able-bodied person: standing in one place for an hour kinda makes my feet/legs hurt. longer than that is when it really hits but it takes an hour to get there.
if you are in pain within minutes or seconds, that is not normal. that is a Symptom. poke your doctor into finding out what it is or connect with disabled and chronic pain groups.
if you are in extreme pain, not just "ugh my feet ache" pain but "i am going to pass out" pain, that is not normal. that is a Symptom. poke your doctor into finding out what it is or connect with disabled and chronic pain groups.
I know some people try to rationalize as "well it's not excruciating compared to my baseline" and I am gently reminding you that the baseline is zero. zero is normal. this ^ is not. be kind to yourself.
AN HOUR???????
"walking for 15 minutes makes the bones in my calves hurt for 2 hours"
buddy... that's the Symptoms...
... Wait, what?
I mean, I can walk just fine, but standing in one spot for like 15 to 20 minutes will leave me in pain for days.
That is... not normal?
I love how everyone is still asking hey so my symptoms are actually symptoms? Even if I feel only x amount of pain after x amount of time? BUDDY THE NORM IS FEELING MILD DISCOMFORT AT MOST AFTER STANDING FOR AN HOUR AND THEY RECOVER WITHIN A FEW HOURS TO A DAY
So, I talked to my doctor and she suggested weight loss drugs
So that didn’t help
What do I do now?
I mean ideally get a new doctor.
Meanwhile document the actual effect the pain/etc has on your life. Document how it impacts your ability to cook; your ability to clean; your ability to clean yourself; your ability to sleep; your ability to work; document all attempts to be more active and how the pain interferes with them. If you have to do something other than just go stand in the kitchen for ~1hr to cook a meal, that's something to write down; if you have to choose not to have a shower because it'll hurt, write that down. If the pain prevents you from going for a walk, write that down.
Every single time you make a decision about what you're doing based on the pain, you document that; every time you have to endure the pain for a necessary activity which then impacts what ELSE you can do, write that down too, with a direct connection.
(Warning: this will probably be depressing as all fuck and you will probably hate it. You are almost certainly ignoring the impact of pain on you way more than you think you are, and having to face it will feel bad in the short run. Very bad.)
And then you bring it either to your new doctor or if you MUST, to your current doctor, and you say: this is how the pain currently affects my quality of life. This is what I would be doing if I weren't prevented from doing it because of the pain.
Say that you would like to find the reason for this pain and you would like them to order relevant diagnostic tests. If they refuse, or hem and haw, ask them to document clearly in your records that you requested this and both that they refuse and their reasons for refusing.
If you must deal with the same doctor, document the concerns you have with the weight-loss drugs, and ask your doctor to be explicit about why she thinks that these risks are worth something that does not directly address your actual concerns. Ask why this is their first line treatment for the rest of what you've described, and why they are more concerned with pushing an overprescribed treatment than actually investigating the cause of your pain and addressing it appropriately based on an evidence-based diagnosis.
This isn't a guarantee, but it's part of the process.
…. Also yes, I AM serious that you should be able to be in the kitchen for about an hour, on your feet and doing Cooking Things, without pain and without needing Recovery Time, in order to make yourself dinner and if you CAN’T - if that long results in Pain or Dramatic Fatigue or extended recovery - that is a Symptom. A big symptom.
A while ago, I started keeping a pain journal to log my chronic pain and other things, so that I could take it to my doctor’s appointments. I go into detail about it in this post if anyone is interested. My doctor is fantastic and actually listened to me and bothered to investigate my pain, but the pain journal was still a huge help in communicating my health issues clearly. I highly recommend logging your pain (and anything else you feel might be relevant).
Side note: I found the pain journal experience to be really enjoyable because I got to pull out my colorful pens and my cute stationery supplies and make something pretty every day. I decorated my notebook with stickers. I did have to face the way my pain was impacting me, but I got to do it in a fun and colorful way. It helped a lot.
When I stopped being able to stand up without pain, it was because there was a slow-growing tumor crushing my spinal cord.
Don't ignore your fucking symptoms.
Sub-Radio, the band that did Stacy's Dad, coming out with another banger for Pride.
i know things are hella grim in the nsfw/kink art circles especially in the last year --
but I'm hearing there's a NSFW-friendly ko-fi alternative built on atproto that's actively in the works, and being vetted by lawyers right now. as torrent-princess (OP) says, you should be able to swap out payment processors while keeping your account intact. this matters since even if stripe removes support, you'll still have a shop and all of your links intact. (ATproto is an infrastructure that bsky is built on, but is far bigger than bsky with far more opportunities.)
additionally, the Free Speech Coalition is working on a credit union specifically for adult work (including kink art) - here's the link so you can add your interest & support. Since this will be built by sex workers, there'll be far less risk of being debanked for spurious and puritanical reasons.
on a domain TLD level, there's an initiative here for a .furry domain built from the ground up by seasoned furries; it's unclear whether they'll support NSFW, but it's yet another promising turn of events for a group that's been similarly affected by censorship.
there are friends and allies out there helping to build a working parallel infrastructure. keep being vocal, keep supporting these initiatives when it's possible, and keep supporting your nsfw/kink artists. ♥
"humans are violent and evil at their core" I have actually decided based on how readily we fall into cults, humans actually REALLY want to cooperate and go along with shit
Been seeing a lot of folks talk about bugout bags where the context seems to be fleeing a Knock from secret police or something, and I want to gently suggest folks consider more likely reasons to bug out (wildfires, crumbling infrastructure leading to gas leaks, etc).
Make sure your bag can get you through scenarios where you are part of a mass evacuation, rather than you clandestinely leaving in the middle of the night to escape brownshirts.
I feel like thinking in this context will help folks prepare better and think beyond fleeing to the nearest border as their prime objective.
I don't like giving this regime more power than it actually has, so it is helpful to me to think about what I would do in specific scenarios. Planning for those gives me much more concrete action items, reduces my panic, and ends up preparing me better for unknown situations.
A lot of us have real fear of this regime rn, and escaping a Knock is a realistic concern.
But I feel like a lot of white, cishet, middle class folks are in oppression cosplay mode rn, and their brains aren't in a practical space for what the more likely impact to their lives is going to be.
If preparing for a Knock isn't also going to prepare you for facing sitting in traffic for 12 hours with no hotel plans because you need to evacuate a natural disaster on short notice, you should think a bit more about your risk factors and resiliency.
Vague prepping for "When shit hits the fan" means you are going to forget key items. Come up with some specific scenarios to run through and see how your kit would perform.
@thatdisasterauthor might have suggestions on this? (sorry about the tag if this is intrusive, ignore at your whim)
Always down for disaster advice related tags!
And yeah, I agree with @so-i-did-this-thing in a lot of ways. A natural disaster (or a man-made one) are A LOT more likely to present an immediate threat to most people right now. Especially because of this administration threatening to dismantle basically every disaster protection we've got from FEMA to NOAA. We are starting down the barrel of, at the very least, a wildfire season with an absolutely crippled wildland firefighting force. (And wildland firefighting resources respond to a lot of other non-fire disasters as well.)
Be prepared for a Knock, especially if you're in any sort of marginalized group, but also be aware that knock might be someone telling you to fucking run because there's a fire roaring towards you.
If it helps, at least in California, a lot of law enforcement agencies are now using what’s called a “hi-lo” siren tone to get people’s attention and indicate they are announcing evacuation orders. It is very distinct from a regular police siren, and will hopefully quell some of the panic of the cops showing up at your door during a natural disaster. (also most California agencies that I know of will absolutely not help ICE with their warrants. In fact they usually resent them stirring up trouble).
An example of the hi-lo tone:
Oh, fascinating! I'll have to look into that more.
As someone who lives in an area that is prone to tornadoes, ice storms, flooding, fires, AND hurricanes, bug-out bags are an excellent idea but ONLY if you prep appropriately and practice with them. The best piece of advice I have seen in terms of where to start is "decide what you want the bag to help you do and work out from there." This much is obvious: Leave the house quickly with everything I need. But... If so, how long do you plan on being gone? Under what circumstances? Natural Disaster? Fleeing political unrest? Are you driving? Walking? Where are you going? A hotel? A friend's?
And then, once you have your things together... PRACTICE. Practice using your fire starter. Practice walking with the pack on. How far can you reasonably go? Practice setting up the tarps or rain-fly. Play around with your multitool. Go through the first aid kid and actually look at the supplies. In short, nothing should still have the tags on it. Bug-out bags are excellent, but you've really got to put in more effort than a shopping list. Interrogate why you want the bag, and then practice with it.
If you function best with a concrete list to start from, there is an excellent set of suggestions here:
It’s the go bag!
Which can then of course be modified to whatever your personal needs may be. This list may seem daunting at first, but most of what's on here is probably something you already own and just by shifting where you store it in your house (ie. putting it in The Bag instead of the cabinet), you're making progress towards the go bag
Like everyone above has said, though, a shopping list will not get you very far, and you need to practice with these things and understand why you want them and how you would use them in the types of emergencies you are likely to encounter in your area
Margaret has great insights, and one of the packing points she brings up is your go bag will likely contain several other modular kits, like your everyday carry and your portable med kit. You just shift those kits to your go bag.
Thinking in chunks like this also helps make sure you're covered in various scenarios. As a trans person, I am going to make sure my HRT is already in a bag that I can move to my go bag.
And for a lot of us who have recently fled red states or otherwise moved for Life Reasons - make sure you have paper maps (honestly, everyone should have them) and whatever else you need to get around an area you are not familiar with!
So here’s the thing about the division of “aro” “ace” and “aroace” into three separate identities with three separate flags: it makes no sense to me, personally.
See, I understand the utility of the split-attraction model. I even understand that “romantic attraction” feels like a meaningful category to many people separate from sexual attraction.
But in my personal experience of the world, romance is too much of a construct for “romantic attraction” to make any sense as a coherent thing that I consider myself as having or not having.
And look, everything is a construct, including sexual attraction. But sexual attraction is a construct in the way a brick is a construct; simple, definable, easy to say whether I have it or don’t have it. Romance, on the other hand, is even more obviously entirely culturally defined. It’s a construct in the way a house is a construct. What makes something a house? If I got ten people in a room we could probably cobble together a decent definition of a “brick” that we are all mutually satisfied with, even if it’s not perfect at including all things that are bricks and excluding all things that are not. There might be edge cases but we could do it.
But a house? What defines a house? Is a house that is not currently livable due to damage still a house? What about a house that doesn’t look like an American white picket fence stick built house? Something made of grass or mud or stone. Something for a climate where roofs or walls are a poor choice. What about house boats and RVs?
What defines romance? Is it sex? Non sexual physical intimacy? Emotional connections? Some odd cross sectional grid of the myriad possibilities for human interaction?
Every experience is an edge case when you drill down in it. I have a structure built out of bricks, and there’s a hole in the structure where the brick that is sexual attraction goes for other people. Is the structure a house or not? Could you even tell, without me describing a great deal more about it, its size, its shape? Would you and the person next to you agree, once I did?
And all this means that while I’ll call myself aro and aroace for the purposes of communicating with others, (the size and shape of the brick structure has no bearing on the fact that I do not plan to ever be in a monogamous partnership, and that’s the important thing to convey) the concepts actually have not much real impact on my subjective internality. Being aro or being aroace are not to me separate from my being ace. Or rather they are not to me a reified part of my identity the way being ace is.
So I find it SO WIERD that everyone assumes that they would be. That by default anyone who has an a- identity is going to have a complicated interaction with the split attraction model, that, as @specialagentartemis put it, “the canonical ace is alloromantic and the canonical aro is allosexual, and aroaces are a third thing.”
I recognize it has utility to other people. I like the green aro flag and appreciate having a word to communicate my disinclination to date even if sex weren’t involved. I understand the theory behind the split attraction model. It just doesn’t feel like it applies.
BORN TO IGNORE NOTIFICATIONS MEMORY IS A FUCK ショートメール Forget them all 2025 I am didn't reply man 454 157 892 348 UNREAD MESSAGES
we gotta get back to torrent distribution, i just watched someone eat eight grand in bandwidth charges because they ran a direct-download piracy site with local file hosting through cloudflare. torrents were invented literally for this exact reason
torrents work like this
i have a file or folder on my pc that i want to share with other people. let's call it gayshit.mp3
unfortunately gayshit.mp3 is 750mb and im not paying for discord nitro so i need another way to send it
i put it into qbittorrent and it makes a torrent file. this is essentially a very small file that points to gayshit.mp3 so other computers can find it. kinda like a treasure map
i send this tiny file to my friend, who loads it into qbittorrent. their computer takes a moment to find mine over the vast expanse of cyberspace and then (as long as my pc is running and the file is still where it should be), it gets copied from my hard drive to theirs
this is the cool part: if somebody else loads that tiny file, they can download it from both of us. if i'm offline but my friend is on, the third person can still get it. this also means that if two people have separate halves of the file, they can download the other half from each other. as long as some combination of people have the pieces between them, they can all have the whole thing.
crucially this does not require a server!!! you can just upload the file to a few people and as long as they keep it, it's still accessible. as long as somebody, somewhere is still connected, it's available forever. the only way it goes away is if everybody disconnects from it.
please learn to torrent
An expert guide to get started using torrentsTorrents are one of the most popular forms of file sharing on the internet, accounting for over
always use qbittorrent, do not use bitorrent or utorrent.
classic scifi novels by men r always like. page 1 here’s a cool scifi idea i had. page 2 i hate women so much it’s unreal
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guys if one more person leaves a tag like this on my post im gonna lose my mind. There Are Science Fiction Authors Who Are Not Misogynistic Men
ok i’ve gotten one too many ‘this is why i don’t read sci-fi’ comments so here’s a rec list for the people convinced all science fiction is bad and misogynistic (with something for everyone, hopefully!):
(also, btw, the book links are to the Storygraph, which includes content warnings for each one!)
smth funny and lighthearted about a security robot who’d rather watch TV then do its job? all systems red by martha wells (first novella in the The Murderbot Diaries series, 6 books, ongoing)
a complex, intricate political space opera following a warship AI who’s lost (almost) everything? ancillary justice by ann leckie (first in the Imperial Radch trilogy) (fun fact! bc of space linguistics reasons, all characters in this series are referred to with she/her pronouns, making gender a non-factor - it’s really cool!)
a dark story about travelling between parallel universes and a woman who is dead in almost every single one? the space between worlds by micaiah johnson (standalone) (SO good, i don’t get to recommend it often enough!!!)
a story about grief and letting go, and a unique take on alien invasion? the seep by chana porter (standalone novella)
hey, how abt some dystopian YA, for old times sake? specifically, one with sapphics and sick mechas? try gearbreakers by zoe hana mikuta (first in duology)
or, if you’d prefer something a bit less angsty, YA about a ragtag group of teens and a space heist? the disasters by m. k. england (standalone)
alternate history steampunk that blurs the line btwn science fiction and fantasy? the black god’s drums by p. djeli clark (standalone, novella)
a dark gone girl-esque thriller about clones? the echo wife by sarah gailey (standalone)
poetic sapphic romance and time travel? this is how you lose the time war by max gladstone and amal el-mohtar (standalone)
a hopeful utopian future and a human-robot friendship? a psalm for the wild-built by becky chambers (novella, first out of two) (this author’s got a whole bunch of hopepunk sci-fi novels in general, if that’s smth you’re looking for!)
africanfuturism, coming-of-age, and cool jellyfish aliens? binti by nnedi okorafor (novella, first in trilogy)
spicy lesbian cyborgs? and shall machines surrender my benjanun sriduangkaew (novella, first in the Machine Mandate series, 6 books)
cosmic horror with an autistic scientist, cyborg angels and AI gods? the outside by ada hoffmann (first in trilogy, 2 books are out)
also, if you’re a fan of Janelle Monáe, may i draw your attention to the fact that they’ve recently come out with a Dirty Computer short story collection, each story co-written with a diff writer?
this list is long enough, but have some more authors (who are not cis men) also worth checking out: rivers solomon, yoon ha lee, charlie jane anders, aliette de bodard, xiran jay zhao, mary robinette kowal, corinne duyvis
and finally, not all older/classic scifi is written by crusty old white guys who hate women!!! some iconic authors i’d particularly recommend looking into are ursula k. le guin, octavia e. butler, samuel r. delany and vonda n. mcintyre 🥰
I’ll add C.J. Cherryh and her Foreigner series to this! Alien politics, linguistics, adventure and intrigue… Sometimes the aliens aren’t just like us, after all, and that’s ok!
And Nicola Griffith. And Lois McMaster Bujold.
I’d also suggest The Long Way To a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers. It’s got some interesting stuff, but is more based in the found family troupe than the sci-fi that’s happening all around it so it’s a good starting point to see if you like the genre.
tumblr giving us the option to sort likes oldest -> newest is kind of diabolical. babygirl that was 2012. I was 14. I’m 28 now. That was half my life ago. And you’re just gonna let me and moots put each other on blast? PvP website for real
when I say autistic people can write poetry, I mean autistic people with higher support needs. I mean people whose poetry is written via symbol based AAC, who are putting cards with pictures and sight words on them in order to make something that has meaning to them, even if it doesn’t make sense to a neurotypical.
when I say autistic people can play baseball, I’m not talking about “this pro pitcher has a special interest” I’m talking about how the local little league team should take a chance on a nonspeaking kid with a care aide who comes with them to practice, so they get the experience of hanging out with friends and doing a group activity too.
when I say autistic people can date, I’m not talking about people who say they have “a touch of the ‘tism” on their hinge profile. I’m talking about the rights of adults in day programs to hold hands. The rights of institutionalized people to have sex. The rights of queer teens in life skills classes to get sex ed that applies to them.
you need to presume potential. You need to start from a place of “can.” You need to give autistic people the right to try.
#actually. I would LOVE to read poetry by nonverbal autistic folks. not entirely ops point but#I wanna see new and exciting art!!!
a couple recs!!!: mel baggs's poetry blog!!
archer jay doesn't have a separate poetry tag but does post poems occasionally ,
nonspeaker library is an entire archive of writing by nonspeaking autistics
not all the poets in this collection are nonspeaking but some are
After all, “Let the best man win” doesn’t mean the good man will win. It means, “This will be a fair fight, no prejudice, no interference—so the best fighter will win it.” If the treacherous bully fairly defeats the nice guy, the treacherous bully is declared champion. This is justice. But it’s the kind of justice that children can’t bear. They rage against it. It’s not fair! […] Might does not make right—right? Therefore right does not make might. Right? But we want it to. “My strength is as the strength of ten because my heart is pure.” If we insist that in the real world the ultimate victor must be the good guy, we’ve sacrificed right to might. (That’s what History does after most wars, when it applauds the victors for their superior virtue as well as their superior firepower.) If we falsify the terms of the competition, handicapping it, so that the good guys may lose the battle but always win the war, we’ve left the real world, we’re in fantasy land—wishful thinking country. Homer didn’t do wishful thinking. Homer’s Achilles is a disobedient officer, a sulky, self-pitying teenager who gets his nose out of joint and won’t fight for his own side. A sign that Achilles might grow up someday, if given time, is his love for his friend Patroclus. But his big snit is over a girl he was given to rape but has to give back to his superior officer, which to me rather dims the love story. To me Achilles is not a good guy. But he is a good warrior, a great fighter—even better than the Trojan prime warrior, Hector. Hector is a good guy on any terms—kind husband, kind father, responsible on all counts—a mensch. But right does not make might. Achilles kills him.
Papa H. by Ursula Kroeber Le Guin
We all deserve to enter LGBTQIA spaces without being asked to prove our Jewishness meets the criteria others set for 'good Jews.'
I am a queer Jew who cares deeply about Israel-Palestine, and I understand the outrage over what has been inflicted on Palestinians in Gaza. My colleagues are Israelis — Jewish and Palestinian citizens — working to end the occupation and build a safe, shared future for Arabs and Jews. We share many of those concerns. Yet struggling for human rights is not black or white. Queer activism should not be binary.
Jewish grief is real too. Jewish fear is real too. The trauma of 7 October is ongoing. Israelis have continued to suffer attacks from repressive regimes that also brutalise their own people, including queer citizens. Increasingly violent antisemitism is real. LGBTQIA Jews approach queer spaces with trepidation, wondering whether our presence is conditional.
Some progressive spaces have adopted a binary approach to Israel and Palestine they would reject in almost any other context. Queer people know identity is complicated, belonging is layered, and liberation movements can reproduce the exclusions they were created to resist.
And yet, when it comes to queer Jews, complexity is too often treated as evasion. If we challenge antisemitism, we are accused of distracting from Gaza. If we speak of Jewish connections to Israel, those attachments become suspect. If we refuse to adopt positions recognising only one people’s rights and humanity, we are told we have failed the test.
But queer Jews should be welcomed as the diverse people we are. Many of us are Zionist, some are not, and all of us are more complex than either label allows. All of us deserve to enter LGBTQIA spaces without being asked to prove our Jewishness meets the criteria others set for “good Jews.”
This does not mean Pride should be silent about Gaza. Palestinians, including queer Palestinians, deserve dignity, safety, self-determination and life. But solidarity with Palestinians does not require excluding Jews, suspecting Jewish communal organisations, or erasing Jewish symbols.
We can learn from the compassionate and courageous Israelis and Palestinians I work with, who offer models of activism clear in the pursuit of justice without losing humanity or humility.
No one should take pride in excluding queer Jewish people from LGBTQIA spaces. Not in Rome. Not in Brussels. Not in London. Not anywhere.
Many of us are tired of explaining that caring about Israel and Israelis does not make us accountable for the actions of the Israeli government. We are fed up with being asked where we stand on a conflict thousands of miles away before being allowed to stand together with our local queer community.
Pride marches can speak with moral urgency for Palestinian life and freedom. They must also make room for queer Jews to march as Jews.
Getting into Of The Devil is crazy because people will sell it to you on the premise of “It’s toxic yuri Death Note!” And the you check it out and it’s some of the most dense and engaging cyberpunk fiction to be written in the last decade and also it’s like if Death Note was written by someone who doesn’t hate women.
Immerse yourself in neon, smoke, and high-stakes legal gambles as a Defense Attorney with uniquely Killer insights in this episodic, diaboli
I do think it's helpful to remember that most of the USA is way hotter than Europe and that's part of why we like big bevvy so much. We aren't just hedonists, we're also too fucking hot!!
(disclaimer that this post looks like it has History behind it [by which i mean i assume a previous post prompted it] but we haven't seen any context if it exists, sorry if i miss the mark with my comment due to that)
no cause i speak as a european, big beverages started making SO much more sense now that like. well one, shit's getting warmer bc of climate change, and two, our own heat tolerance is getting worse, in no small part because of the meds we're on. and, honestly dude, even if it WAS just hedonism, i basically always end up wanting more beverage when i finish mine, even in large sizes, so like. i'm with y'all on this one, big beverages fuck
For real!! It's all "why do you need a drink that big" but when it's 95F/35C and cloudless sometimes you just gotta replace your blood with two liters of cherry coke.
It's happening again, so just to remind everyone:
TUMBLR ADS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO AUTO-PLAY AUDIO! THAT IS A BUG AND YOU SHOULD REPORT IT!
"This ad is auto-playing audio" is literally on the drop down menu for reporting an ad. Tumblr isn't trying to implement this! Don't protest this "new policy", cause it's not one.
Report the broken ads.
Thank you.
They are not supposed to automatically redirect you without you clicking them, they are not supposed to cause a pop-up, they are not supposed to freeze your screen.
This is all bugs or malicious advertising which is also against tumblers ad policy. You should report all ads which do this.
Let’s get rid of those horrible monopoly ads, together.