solyno

dont trust anything that comes out of my mouth okay rip richard haywood pride month is over

[solnyo772]

does anyone else feel that crushing feeling of self loathing whenever anything about neurodivergency is mentioned or is that just me

idk i feel uncomfortable even when its just the word autism that comes up. i might just start saying i have aspergers so that people stop looking at me like im stupid

#send post

[solnyo772]

i have really mixed feelings on the Lightyear 2022 movie but all i know is that Sox was cute asf and that i need to see him in more fanart now

[solnyo772]

ik there are so many flaws in the movie but the way they characterise buzz in the movie makes me cry i feel so paternal towards him /pos

but being srs the way they wrote his character just felt right to me. idk how to explain it

[solnyo772]

i have really mixed feelings on the Lightyear 2022 movie but all i know is that Sox was cute asf and that i need to see him in more fanart now

[solnyo772]

maturing is realising i can draw whatever bullshit i want and no one can stop me

[solnyo772]

losing interest in art fight so quickly because of toy story 5 i wish i was joking

[solnyo772]

hyperfixation death feels like such a sick joke like i have this aching hole inside of my chest and it feels so wrong

im not used to having so many smaller interests at once,,, ive been switching fandoms every few months or so and its scary

[solnyo772]

almost half of the carcrash fics ive seen are all f/f and i think that's beautiful honestly

[solnyo772]

rewatched Stay (2005) again and just realised Henry's paintings at the start of the movie in Foster's bedroom ouuughhh

also Lila making Henry's painting when it transitions out of the scene just after Foster argues that he's been counting Lila's meds

call me crazy but I think there's a photo of the animal from the aquarium there too??? i might be tweaking though

i think Athena and Henry met up at the same place we see Sam and Lila at the beginning too

here's a photo of Henry and Olive from the mass attack flashback scene that i thought was a pretty neat easter egg

they even have sounds of Olive barking in the background while it plays

[solnyo772]

the thing that devastates me the most about Henry Letham is that he fought so hard to live. even before the crash.

Lila not taking her meds, her scarring and her being a painter all probably stem from Henry's subconsciousness. Foster even mentions himself that Henry wont take medication.

i saw a theory that mentioned he was probably self medicating with alcohol which makes sense (given that Lila kept craving a drink, that lady on the phone before the therapy session was talking about alcohol, and Foster's other client was taking her meds while drinking)

and it also explains why he would blame himself for the crash even if the tyre popping wasnt his fault. he didnt pop that tyre but he probably wouldve gotten them hurt by not taking his meds or by drinking anyway.

the whole thing about the world being too beautiful to give up on and the backup blade conversation really hurt because he probably did want to give up at some point. really badly. the repeated 'promise' that Lila made to Foster probably reflects something too but I can't figure out if that meant Henry promised Athena something or idk

whatever try making sense of this send post

[solnyo772]

convinced that Dr Foster in Stay (2005) was meant to be a representation of the subconscious part of Henry fighting to live

every character in the movie reflects himself i think. or at least the way that he sees things.

not elaborating because i don't fully understand it myself but do you see the vision

[solnyo772]

totally not spam posting bc i have an assignment due soon that i do not plan on doing at all

god help me

[solnyo772]

richard haywood and henry letham being in the same classes together pre-canon

like imagine if the both of them didnt die but instead met up and got so much worse than they already are

i think theres a fic that goes along similar lines its really good everyone needs to hop on that asap and write more of these two together

[solnyo772]

phm is like a gateway drug into hell why am i stuck mourning over the lack of rygos selfcest(?) fics

[solnyo772]

why do the rgcu ships all have to be weird ass names instead of the usual portmanteaus its pissing me off

not bc the names r bad or anything but it makes it so hard to find online like wtf is cartheft???? sundaydriver??? drivinglessons?????

how am i supposed to search up #JAZZBAR without being bombarded by like FIFTY DIFFERENT ADVERTISEMENTS

cant even look for henry letham and richard haywood bc of the secret histories everyboduy hates me why arent letham and haywood a more popular pairing god

[solnyo772]

god i really dont want to do artfight anymore bc i wanna make fanart for my rarepair FUCK im killinf myself

[solnyo772]

need to see henry letham and richard haywood beating the shit outta each other asap. send tweet.

[solnyo772]

started looking into a rarepair for shits and giggles but suddenly im super invested because the dynamic is really interesting

theres only like two pieces of fanart that ive found of it so far, AND ITS FROM THE SAME PERSON. i think ive seen like maybe three edits?? not a single thing on pinterest or google fucking images either. fml.

[solnyo772]

looking over at how much fanart the drivinglessons community has and im seething with rage hrhghhhh hrhhhhghhhh damn all of you people