Now look at all this random crap. @solsticegelan - Tumblr Blog

"Close Personal Friend Mr. Drugs" has had me roaring with laughter for the last few minutes.

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

jewish-joy

#i love prayer plants but they're fussy so I don't keep them#can we have a picture op they're so pretty

Behold, Dorothea

(Naming my plant "Gift of God," and then giving her to a seminarian with just the explanation that it's a prayer plant? Okay, that's my bad.)

jewish-joy

I should also add- I ran into my rabbi and explained the situation. I then asked, earnestly, if there was a remedy. A mikveh of sorts, or a beit din, or something.

He turned to me, sighed, and said in a very deadpan tone-- "Plants don't have covenants, Joy,"

So Dorothea's a free agent according to rabbinic opinion. I guess I'll permit her to be Roman Catholic.

whenmoments

this post just cant be on its own. it needs the accompanying pic “when you’re level 80” that is exactly the same image, but the stick has glowing runes on it and the crabs are purple

thevideowall

Ok, I had nothing better to do with my monday night

thetenk

daclusia-deactivated20190718

This gets better every time i see it.

quendergeer

has anyone got the version “when you’re level 1 but bought the cosmetic package” and he’s wearing a santa hat and hitting the crabs with a candy cane

sword-and-nightingale

playwrongs

Remove curse that makes you weird

Remove weird guy spell

Dispel curse of oddball

Expunge strangeness from self magic

Potion of become normal

Normal man elixir

Spell of destroy self remake different normal self

Unethical wizard who change personality to be more lovable

Elf porn

adurot

This image hurts my brain more than the original debate ever did. Brains are dumb.

sneater

i wanted to like make sure this was legit and stuff so i took a section of the left and stretched it over to the right and jesus fuck

onion-bagels

rb for the last pic being the best demonstration by far

geekandmisandry

“This is why I draw in black and white” was all my sleepy, horrified boyfriend could say.

hecallsmehischild

Holy…. you know what… this last image is probably the only image that has ever been able to convince me this brain hack was a real thing and we didn’t all just roar onto the battlefield because half of us had been hideously duped… we were all duped. By our own brains.

sqrt-73

screw ray bradbury’s 6 word poem. here’s my 2 word one:

Keep reading

sqrt-73

happy 5k notes!!!

only-tiktoks

socialistexan

Harry Potter fans (derogatory)

enba-and-luka

What the fuck do you mean "defraud", they literally didn't do anything wrong.

charlesoberonn

My co-worker who's a fully grown adult woman and mother-of-four just said that if she split her electric bill to be monthly instead of bi-monthly, she'll be paying less.

And all I could think of was this image:

blastovkatamarinecromancy

It wouldn't be cheaper, but it would be easier to place into a monthly budget plan

solsticegelan

Yeah, that’s… a fair and reasonable statement. She’s not literally paying less overall, but splitting one bi monthly payment into two monthly ones is theoretically much easier to pay for. She would be paying less *at a time,* unless she openly stated “I would overall pay less this way.”

sailermoon

this is how new yorkers @ mamdani

sailermoon

excitedrainbow

IT’S LITERALLY HAPPENING LMAOOOOO

card-designers-without-borders

aint-love-heavy

I know we talk a lot about the literacy crisis and the horrible anti-intellectualism happening rn but I think we need to talk more about how much of an entitlement complex the stupidest among us have developed

bogleech

Why are there just blobs of fake rubber meat that a bunch of unrelated microbes can build in the dirt but they've only ever been found in china and can't be classified any further than "biological objects"