[potatosonnet]

:)

[compassionvi]

the thing about piracy is that i know i deserve everything for free forever

[hellagross]

[theconcealedweapon]

[maarvarq]

Always bear in mind that there is absolutely no legitimate evidence that Luigi was actually the one who killed the insurance company guy.

[theconcealedweapon]

Of course he wasn't. He was at a party with me that day.

[tiny-space-whale]

No but like literally, actually. All bits aside.

He didn't do it.

The cops very clearly planted evidence on him because they had to make an arrest because all eyes were on them and whoever actually did the deed was making them look stupid.

Why would the real killer hero have kept the weapon on his person and traveled two states over while carrying it and a manifesto in his bag, conveniently turning the crime into a federal matter? The same guy whose bag they found in a park, filled with monopoly money? Why did the police turn off their bodycams, take Luigi's stuff, drive a block away, turn their bodycams back on, go back into the restaurant, and then arrest him?

From the moment of his arrest, even left-of-center media has been presuming his guilt without examining anything (e.g. calling him "the killer" instead of "alleged" or "accused") and then when I say he didn't do it, the nearest person chimes in with some quip that tells me they think he did do it but should go free anyway. Don't get me wrong, I would have the same attitude if he had done it. But he didn't. It makes me feel like the only sane person in the world, even among my staunchly leftist friends.

[quasi-normalcy]

Can we all agree in advance that, when Woke 2 hits, we need to make government penis-milking factories a reality, rather than just Jordan Peterson's paranoid fantasy?

[velvetys]

I was too scared to watch edward scissorhands has a kid but I thought about how could a woman go through pregnancy with a fetus growing metal scissors hands it took years of theorizing, still without watching the movie, to even think that maybe he wasn’t born with scissor hands

[duncebento]

maybe women are stronger than you think

[velvetys]

Sorry listening and learning here

[animnightmare]

There are a lot of animals born with sharp claws or scales. The babies might be born in a thick membrane that protects the mother, depending on the species. Or Edward scissor hands came from an egg

[creature-adjacent]

Carnivorous plants doin this is so funny to me

They don't wanna eat their pollinators :(

[questionablepastries]

[rudeteens]

[m3atbuff3t]

i coul dnever be the captain of a ship. everyday id be like third lieutenant ..... do a backflip lol

[gremlinservant]

Just vaccinated three kids and got kicked thank GOD I am selling them today

Edit:

THIS IS A POST ABOUT GOATS!!

[fagstaynight]

some people on the internet have only been on here for five minutes

[lostlite]

The world's very last smol bean was harvested this morning

[largishcat]

*at a family gathering* you’re all like coworkers to me

[largishcat]

there will be layoffs

[littlegreen]

oh i’m sorry would you rather me beat an alive horse?

[64mpg]

me: 🧍🏽‍♂️

my nervous system: we are going to get in so much trouble seriously

[macabrevampire]

still thinking fondly of people who don't give a shit about me

[tvarinich]