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@sometimeslayla
if it works it works
Kinda wild how the concept of emotional labour changed from
"people have to hide their emotions to perform specific types of labour where their apparent emotions influence another person's. Eg. Flight attendants have to be cheerful all the time, so that passengers feel welcome and safe. This suppression and masking of emotion can cause a sense of disconnect within the individual where they dont know what their true feelings are. This is part of the Marxist idea of alienation from labour and from the self."
To
"If you ask me to care about you or listen to your problems, youre being toxic."
It's worth taking a look at how we got here.
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild coined the term in 1983, specifically describing it as emotional performance required by a worker for a job. This alienates the worker from their own feelings. The expected emotion can be care, joy, etc. but it can also be harshness or simply the expectation to not show your real emotions in the workplace.
Sociologist Arlie Hochschild also coined the term 'the second shift' in 1989. describing how in families where a man and a woman both have a job, the woman is often still expected to do all the child raising and house cleaning, meaning she is carrying a double workload.
Already in 1983 (before coining the term 'second shift' but already developing the concept), Hochschild herself connected the two ideas, writing: "In a typical nuclear family unit, it is thought that women become responsible for much of the emotional labor by default, meaning they are responsible for shaping and managing the familyâs feelings." So we have the person who coined the term, immediately after coining the term, also using emotional labor to describe unpaid household work! This is part of the term since its inception!
Around 2015 the term gained a lot of popularity and began to be more broadly applied. Some things that are, according to Hochschild, NOT emotional labor include:
Doing physical chores around the house
Doing mental chores like remembering birthdays
Hochschild: "if we talk about all the unpaid labor women do in the home as âemotional labor,â weâre insinuating that any kind of labor that falls most often to a woman is âemotional.â Like chores are just labor. Writing Christmas cards is just labor."
Also not emotional labour:
Expressing genuine emotions that you feel
Doing things that make other people feel better
Hochschild emphasizes that doing things to positively impact other people's emotions isn't 'emotional labor'. Managing and suppressing your own emotions is. That's where the alienation that is central to emotional labor comes in: it's alienation from your own feelings.
It's also essential that there must be an expectation on the person to do this. Hiding your real feelings by choice isn't emotional labor. As with emotional labor in the workplace, non-caring emotions and suppression of emotions typically expected of men are included. So when a wife expects her husband to suppress his pain and not cry in front of the children, that is an example of emotional labor. So to summarize, emotional labor according to Hochschild doesn't have to always be paid labor, but it does always involve:
The management of your own emotions
Alienation from your real emotions, as a result of being forced to perform other emotions.
Pressure/expectation, there are negative consequences if you don't do the performance.
There is a system, (the workplace, genderroles, etc) shaping these expectations, putting specific expectations on categories of people.
Finally, Hochschild never said that emotional labor shouldn't exist or that it doesn't have a function. In the workplace and out of it, emotional labor can achieve important things. The nurse that uplifts the patient and the parent that comfort their child might both be hiding their real feelings and that itself is not bad. The problem is the pressure to do this labor when you dont want to, the lack of acknowledgement of this labour and Ăłf its potential for alienation, and the division of this labour according to gendered expectations.
June 20, 1967 - On this day in 1967, boxing legend Muhammad Ali was given a prison sentence for refusing to join the US military and fight in the Vietnam War. He was sentenced to five years behind bars and fined $10,000, an unusually harsh sentence aimed at breaking his anti-war resistance. âWhy should they ask me to put on a uniform and go 10,000 miles from home and drop bombs and bullets on Brown people in Vietnam while so-called Negro people in Louisville are treated like dogs?â argued Muhammad Ali. [source]
April 28, 1967, is when Muhammad Ali formally refused the draft to go fight in Vietnam.
Your brain doesnât get tired from doing things, it gets tired from resisting things. When youâre doing nothing your mind starts overthinking and carrying the weight of all the things youâre avoiding. Thatâs why you feel so tired. It burns more mental energy than simply taking action
Do the thing
I want to add to this that the less you do, the more your brain starts to question your ability to do anything at all. Inaction slowly chips away at your confidence because youâre no longer proving to yourself that you can handle things. This is also true when someone else is doing everything for you like a partner or a parent. Momentum creates evidence. When you stop moving, that evidence disappears, and doubt fills the space. Over time, even simple tasks start to feel heavier than they actually are because youâve trained your mind to hesitate instead of act
Avoidance creates doubt, and doubt creates more avoidance. The only way out is action, even in small doses
Seriously, the storytelling and character work in Off Campus is so far beyond anything I expected going into it. The way that every point of conflict stems from established traumas or fears getting triggered rather than lies and miscommunication? The dismantling of toxic masculinity (especially within male friendships + their treatment of women)? The portrayal of women's tendency to feel guilty once they start enjoying themselves? THE GIRLBESTIES, HELLO? The early theme of "how can two things be true at once" resonating with Garrett's confusion over Hannah's feelings, and then the show taking that a step further by introducing all these nuanced conversations across the entire cast where neither party is in the wrong? The fact that we actually spend time with the main couple in a healthy relationship, facing issues together, rather than spending it all on dramatized buildup just to prolong tension?
This really feels like a group of flawed people who are so supportive of one another in their time of need. Everyone has moments of gold. Yet, when they do something that hurts someone else, the narrative doesn't reward nor punish them for it, rather it asks the audience to consider: why do you think they've done this? Does it define them? Can you see both sides? The writing trusts you as the audience to look inside these people and draw your own conclusions, while onscreen the characters themselves respond to hiccups with maturity and emotional honesty. It's incredibly refreshing.
Also, just, the framing of all this is outstanding. There are times you'll enter into a confrontation with an idea whose side you're on, but then you listen to what the other person has to say, and suddenly you understand that this isn't black and white. They're adding context, or they're missing context, or you simply hadn't thought of it that way. But it never feels like pulling the rug, either. Based on what you know about this character, their perspective on this situation makes PERFECT sense as soon as they've shared it. And you know what? They're valid for thinking that way.
Speaking of framing don't even get me STARTED ON EPISODE 6. Recontextualizing moments you've already seen, "deleted" scenes, hidden storylines my beloved!
I have to give flowers to all the actors and the editing team as well- acting performances are super naturalistic and believable, plus cast chemistry is out of this world! Such fun choices with the occasional use of split screen, quick cutting parallels, details in the background that come up later, it's just so engaging to watch and follow along with. Music choices, too! One of those shows that is actually elevated by its soundtrack.
Anyway, none of my friends have watched this yet and I have soooo much to say. I'm so impressed with what I thought would be just a silly porny YA romantic drama. This shit is REAL, including the topics it covers. Immaculate season of television in my humble opinion.
ANTONIO CIPRIANO AS JOHN LOGAN OFF CAMPUS, 1.01.
Billionaires lie. All the time.