sonic-counselor

B. // occasionally I write mediocre fic uk | old enough to know better

[sonic-counselor]

Real True™️ Facts about Rammstein (band)

(as verified by Rammtisch™️)

❤️‍🔥 Schneider can’t peel vegetables

❤️‍🔥 Richard doesn’t know how to use emojis wrong but won’t admit it. Instead he claims he hates them.

❤️‍🔥 It’s physically, emotionally and spiritually impossible to shitpost about Paul Landers.

❤️‍🔥 Till hasse Kinder (eggs).

❤️‍🔥 Richard tried to calm his tits but they rebelled

❤️‍🔥 Schneminem

❤️‍🔥 Flake smells of dust

❤️‍🔥 Olli is weirder than you think

Thank you for coming to my seminar.

No, I will not be taking questions at this time.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 It’s physically, emotionally and spiritually impossible to not shitpost about RZK.

❤️‍🔥 Want to shitpost about RZK? Too bad, time to feel sad.

❤️‍🔥 Want to thirstpost about RZK? Too bad, time to feel sad. (2: electric boogaloo)

❤️‍🔥 Frau Schneider > you.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 There is one collective brain cell. No one knows where it is. No one knows how to use it.

❤️‍🔥 It’s Christophs all the way down.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Till’s rimming grade? B+

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Paul grades the orgies.

❤️‍🔥 Richard doesn’t know what giving someone the D means. No one will tell him.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Schneider isn’t allowed in Bitchy Belt Boys Club. He doesn’t have the minimum requisite number of belts for entry.

❤️‍🔥 Dick King and King Dick are not the same.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Richard is not a dom no matter how much he insists he is.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Richard is a squishmallow.

❤️‍🔥 Rammstein Omegaverse? Till? Alpha. Paul? Alpha. Schneider? Alpha. Olli? Omega. Flake? Omega. Richard? THEE OMEGA.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Flipples.

❤️‍🔥 Schnipples.

❤️‍🔥 Flake is a stinky goose. He turns his underwear inside out and pretends it clean.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 🍌 (gun).

❤️‍🔥 🍌 (drumstick).

❤️‍🔥 🍌 (penis).

❤️‍🔥 Amazon Prime & Naptime

[a-paradise-for-hyperfixations]

❤️‍🔥 banana circle in teotihuacan as a sacrifice to the gods for a new tour at the very spot where richard fell🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌🍌

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 No cigarettes in the Squishmallow pit. (Guitars are allowed).

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Schneider smells of bananas.

❤️‍🔥 Olli knows everyone’s secrets. Yes, even yours.

❤️‍🔥 Richard likes pegging.

❤️‍🔥 Paul puts voice filters on cats.

❤️‍🔥 Richard’s right tit gets lonely because he only holds he left one.

❤️‍🔥 Smallbrain Bigheart.

❤️‍🔥 Richard cheats at Rubik’s cube. He painted it all black and claimed he solved it.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Flenis.

❤️‍🔥 Pipples.

❤️‍🔥 🥐.

❤️‍🔥 The first rule of Weirdo Club is that you never underestimate the flenis and it’s powers.

❤️‍🔥 Paul and Richard are a terrible pair for a threesome. They start arguing about style and equipment half way through.

[a-paradise-for-hyperfixations]

❤️‍🔥 🥐 vs 🍌 vs 🍆

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Olli wants to fuck a nun.

❤️‍🔥 Richard wants to be a nun.

❤️‍🔥 Olli is the kinkiest motherfucker in the entire band.

❤️‍🔥 Flake carries around a first aid kit and supplies the band with band aids. His favourites are the ones with little red cars on.

❤️‍🔥 Richard and Paul formed a side project together called The Lil’Shits. They don’t play any music but come on stage and argue about each others guitars and pedals and amps for 30 minutes.

❤️‍🔥 Richard is a bottom. Hanky code tells us so.

❤️‍🔥 Till has a squishmallow pit but instead of squishmallows it’s a Saw trap. He made it himself.

❤️‍🔥 Paul shrunk Richard’s “don’t praise me I’ll cum” t-shirt in the wash and now it looks like a crop top.

[a-paradise-for-hyperfixations]

❤️‍🔥 @wizzardclown and me will hunt zoran down for what he did to Flake and Till in the Mein Teil video

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Flake and Schneider? Meme dukes.

❤️‍🔥 Fraukolade.

❤️‍🔥 Richard has custom made Heelys. They’re black and red and light up when he rolls.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Till has a box labelled “Till’s Box of Porn”. It’s where he keeps his fishing photos safe because everyone else is too scared to look in it.

❤️‍🔥 Till has an army of lobsters.

❤️‍🔥 When he walks his army of lobsters round Berlin on leashes, he becomes Fraubster.

❤️‍🔥 Flake is actually six cats in a disco suit. This is why he’s so ornery.

❤️‍🔥 Never let Paul Landers cook you an egg.

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 smallbrain bigheart (schnoodle)

❤️‍🔥 smallbrain bigdick (paule)

❤️‍🔥 smallbrain bigsarcasm (flake)

❤️‍🔥 smallbrain bigego (reesh)

❤️‍🔥 smallbrain bigpervert (till)

❤️‍🔥 normalbrain bigbeard (olli)

❤️‍🔥 fishstein Flake:

❤️‍🔥 fishstein Richard:

❤️‍🔥 They’re terrible at strip poker

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 “…aber…bin ich…Schneider?”

❤️‍🔥 Till doesn’t know how to FaceTime his fish

❤️‍🔥 “Mein kleener”

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Friedrich Quecksilber aka the DDR has Freddie Mercury at home and it ain’t going to buy you any:

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 all hail the holy rail

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Nikolaus Fuhrmann, or, the DDR also has own brand Nick Carter, thanks for asking

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 opinion problem

❤️‍🔥 fiery problem

❤️‍🔥 long problem

❤️‍🔥 goose problem

❤️‍🔥 banana problem

❤️‍🔥 vampire problem

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 paul can’t control the weather

[spieluhrzeit]

❤️‍🔥 fish nerd (till)

❤️‍🔥 movie nerd (richard)

❤️‍🔥 opinion nerd (paul)

❤️‍🔥 banana nerd (schneider)

❤️‍🔥 long nerd (olli)

❤️‍🔥 nerd nerd (flake, the nerd²)

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 he long, he nice

❤️‍🔥 Till fucks pancakes

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 it’s a moral obligation

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 paultjes

(Excellent artwork by @artificialpuddle)

❤️‍🔥 Till hates Belgium

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥

Quality memeage by @a-paradise-for-hyperfixations

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Olli’s stripper name is Mollitov Cocktail

[sonic-counselor]

❤️‍🔥 Christoph Schneider; “pretty good”

[meinewellemeinstrand]

Please describe - in detail - what you would like to do to Richard's glorious belly. I have my own ideas but you put yours into words perfectly, way better than I ever could ❤️

Hello anon! Remember you asked for it while reading this.

First of all, I found this on Pinterest and it describes perfectly almost all the non-sexual things I'd do to Richard's glorious belly.

Imagine cuddling or simply being around him. My hands would constantly be hovering around his beautiful belly at all times, doing exactly what's depicted here, until he either: 1. gets tired of me and kicks me out 2. loses weight out of nuisance and also dumps me 3. accepts it and surrenders to my love and cuddles.

Other things I would do to his beautiful belly are:

1. Sleep on it

It would be the perfect pillow. It looks so soft and yet so firm, just like a memory-foam pillow. Also it has built-in white noises because his stomach would be making those cute noises stomachs make and my ear would be directly on it. And imagine how nice it would be to sink your nose and nuzzle your cheek against that part of his belly right under his navel, it looks like the most softest part.

2. Ride it

gif by @krusperichard

Well, more like grind on it. I'd actually be riding his pimmel, but in the right position and angulation, his belly would be resting exactly between my legs and if it pushed forward and down enough, I'd even be able to achieve double stimulation with no hands involved.

3. Use it for balance

A natural follow up of riding the belly. Whether you're pounding into him from behind or he's riding you, you'd need something to keep your (or his) balance. What better than a nice belly to grab on to? Useful and pleasurable.

4. Feed it

gifs by @krusperichard

A nice belly like that needs to be taken care of and what better way to keep it nice and loved than nourishing it? I could practice my cooking (so I would finally bring myself to cook more often than once a month) and he could enjoy some traditional Italian homemade food. In the end we'd both be happy, him with a full belly and me with his full belly to worship and shower with love.

5. Love it

gifs by @dandysnob and @mrsfitzgerald

Smaller or bigger, flatter or rounder and regardless of their shape, bellies are always deserving of love. And I'd be showering that belly with all the love and affection I can.

[der-echte-richard-kruspe]

I don't know how to feel about this ... I am very concerned. But I also think maybe I should feel flattered. I am confused ...

[sonic-counselor]

Here, have this to help you while you think it over 😇

[fairycosmos]

fucked that you can’t fix other people especially when you really care about them. Oh so im just supposed to be there for you while you suffer. like a useless cunt gargoyle

[dandysnob]

Prague | Rehearsal | 09.05.2024 | 🎥 by rammquellwasser | 📍stefy_fabs

[h3rzele1d]

you can't run away...

[imogeniguess]

Paul Landers during ‘Sehnsucht’, ‘Weißes Fleisch’, ‘Seamann’, ‘Spiel mit mir’ and ‘Laichzeit’ @ Melkweg, Amsterdam

[incenseandiron]

[der-echte-paul-landers]

Schönen Stupid Slut Saturday euch allen, wa. Benehmt euch nich zu anständig – wär ja langweilig!

[allthingswhumpyandangsty]

[tattooeddevil]

[operatorlanders]

Paul, please stop

[krusperichard]

comfort b👀b

[thegothicviking]

Paul, please don't stop.

[probuccalfat]

i have a Persian agenda where i encourage every man i know to grow the longest and prettiest hair possible

[probuccalfat]

personal agenda. Personal.

[sonic-counselor]

[butterflypeaflowertea]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was doomed to take things too seriously and think about them forever

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

[babypaulchen]

[freches-fruechtchen-blog]

[mrsfitzgerald]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[dandysnob]

uaaaaaa il gif set per te! @meinewellemeinstrand

[captainamericanidi0t]

reblog to tell your mutuals they’re lovely as fuck