˚⋆✰｡ˎˊ˗hmm actually… your hypothesis can be falsified
pairing: mike wheeler x popular and chemistry geek!reader
synopsis: mike had always hated the popular kids (honorable mention to the basketball team and the cheerleader squad) and everything surrounding them, or rather, everyone around them. it didn’t matter who or what was, because he wouldn’t discriminate, he hated all of them equally. they were all the same: obnoxious teenagers who thought they were better than everyone else because they were loud and stupid.
that was, until he saw your presentation in chemistry class. mike fell for you instantly. and then, he realized that maybe (just maybe) everything he’d believed for years was a lie, that being popular at school doesn’t necessarily mean you were evil. you were pretty, smart, kind, and sweet. you shattered every stereotype he had ever built in his head. you were even the leader of the chemistry club.
was there anything you weren’t good at? mike didn’t think so. what he did know, however, was that he was far too much of a coward to even think about talking to you. but once he told his friends about his little crush and they started coming up with some sort of super master plan, he realized he had no other choice.
warnings/content: mutual pining, use of y/n, reader is robin's sister, reader is not part of the cheer squad but she's popular because most of her friends are part of it, some reader's friends are character i made up, shy and awkward mike, steve and dustin have cupid complex and think they're the masterminds behind all of it, y/n and will are friends, no mentions of byler/mileven
pita's note: hiii everyone. i think i started this in march??? and it took me ages to finish it. what is funny is that this was supposed to be a 3k word fic lol. but i’m really bad at writing short stuff and i also hate the thought that i'm a reeeeeally slow writer
this is also my 1st stranger things' fanfic. that doesn't mean i'll stop writing for txt ofc1!!! (actually, i'm planning to update clause four before my birthday lol). anyways, i think this is my comeback :) i hope you enjoy it. and ofc, honorable mention to my dear friend @csbenthusiast for supporting me
"will," you called him. he kept his gaze on the paper, "are you done with it? i think i'm almost done with my task."
will was so focused on finishing his drawing that he barely paid attention to you, and that made you nervous. there was no explanation for it. he made you nervous, and it's a little embarrassing if you put it on display, because he was literally a random guy you didn't talk to until this stupid assignment came up.
it was an assignment for your literature class. you had to write a long essay about an author, including a biography and a review of two of their most famous works, along with a presentation that could generate a debate about the author. you had the whole class to yourselves.
will and you were a duo, and he came up with the idea that making drawings would help you get a better grade. you didn't understand it at first, until you saw his art.
he was so fucking amazing.
but there was something you couldn't quite... describe. working with you made him nervous too, you felt it.
was he? maybe. you're not that familiar with him anyway. the only time he seemed comfortable was when he was with his friends.
yet you felt judged, not by him, because he's a chill person. but by his friends instead...
they were spying on you, you knew that. and you didn't understand what you'd done to deserve that. maybe that's why.
"not yet," he replied, his gaze on the paper. "i'm finishing some details."
"oh... okay," you nodded, looking at his work. "you're doing good, though. if we keep working at this pace, maybe we'll finish it in two days. maybe we should do that. i need to rehearse our presentation."
working with him was awkward, and you knew it was because of you. it was the first time the teacher had sorted the groups herself, leaving you no option but to work with a random stranger instead of choosing your partner.
you're not used to talking to people outside of your friends. you've also stayed in your comfort zone, which was easier than socializing with people.
it was a little funny. you were known in school for being part of the so-called popular kids, yet you were so shy. your friends were the loud and extroverted ones. you were the shyest person on earth, and so was will. apparently.
a voice distracted you from your thoughts. a voice you knew so well. it was hard not to recognize.
you closed your eyes and sighed shyly as you heard him and his friend approached. you should have told will to meet at the library instead of the schoolyard. who makes their assignments here anyway?
"hey mike, hey guys," will greeted them. "what are you doing here?"
mike was about to speak, but dustin interrupted him. "we're going home now. we have to get everything settled for d&d night before lucas finishes his sidequest."
you frowned. "sidequest? which sidequest?"
the three of them glanced at you. will and dustin immediately exchanged looks, but mike froze. he looked at you like you were going to hurt him, as if he was a prey who had to run away from you as far as possible.
he always did that anyway.
"oh, nothing." dustin replied. "we just call it the thing we have to do before our d&d nights."
"he's buying a gift for max. she's his girlfriend."
"ah," you nodded, directing your gaze to your paperwork instead, pretending you still had some work to do and hoping this whole interaction would fade faster if you just ignore them.
of course you knew who max was. you've been secretly watching them from afar, and sometimes, you listen to their conversations just to catch something.
something that shows their hate towards you. you knew they judged you, and that they stared at you and your friend group during lunch.
there was no proof of it whatsoever.
"just give us a minute, guys. we're almost finishing our deep dive into shakespearean literature. one more and we'll be free."
"will, if you want to, we can—"
"do you want to come?" dustin interrupted you.
the air shifted. your and will's eyes widened instantly.
"i mean," he cleared his throat. "do you want to come play d&d tonight? you know, join our campaign and all that."
you held back a sharp gaze. why were they inviting you? were they scheming a nefarious plot against you?
it made you uncomfortable. they looked at you like they knew something about you. something you didn't.
which is pathetic, because they don't even know you. you've never spoken to any of them, except for jane, but that's because your parents were friends, and she seems to be a good person.
but her friends... why were they like that?
it's been happening for a few weeks now. you didn't care at first, they were like anyone else. you're part of the popular kids, your friends were well known for being part of the cheerleading team, so it's not new for you to have people staring.
however, this was different. the party (as that's what they called themselves) looked at you like they were analyzing something, as if they were looking at something about you. as if you were an experiment or something.
but what if you go there? putting yourself in enemies' territory might not be the smartest move, yet would help to know what they're up to and stop their stupid behaviour.
they were treating you like a science project, thinking that you're oblivious and stupid. maybe they’re like most people who think that being ‘popular’ means being dumb, and by extension, that you were too. you loved the attention, and all the perks that came with surrounding yourself with friends from the cheer squad and the basketball team, but you absolutely hated those stupid stereotypes that came with it, and that ridiculous social divide, like some kind of hierarchy no one was allowed to cross. because you weren’t stupid at all, and it was obvious they would never understand that.
you were about to say yes, and agree to their plans, until you felt it.
mike was giving you a sharp gaze, as if he could pierced you if he kept staring at you the way he did.
you've always felt he hated you with no apparent reason. among all of them, he was the one who never looked at you, but when he did, it was unbearable.
these kids were nobodies in school, almost no one knew who they were (and the ones who knew might not even care) but you. they were considered weird for liking a board game about fantasy and being part of a group of nerds called the hellfire club. one of them wanted to be part of the basketball team, the other was friends with some people from your chemistry club, the other one is now your partner for this project, and there was michael.
there was something about him that was just so charming. you’ve never talked to him before, even though you wanted to, but you’ve been watching him from afar for a while now, knowing that nothing would ever happen between you two.
how could you talk to him in the first place? you had no idea, but now you knew you won’t. mike had been giving you weird looks since you and will got paired for this project, and you couldn’t understand why.
dustin’s invitation lit a spark inside of you, it could be a gate that led straight to talking to mike and getting to know him better, to be friends with him at least, but that little sparkle faded instantly when you saw his reaction.
he didn't want you there. it was obvious.
"no, thanks," you replied with a shy grin, trying to be polite, "i already have plans. but have fun, guys."
it wasn't a lie though, you and your sister have a ritual: going to the movies every friday, watch two films and rating them after.
and mike's facial expression went back to normal.
"oh," will replied. "have fun then."
“how did it go? did you finally talk to her?” jane asked.
“no, he didn’t.” dustin replied for him. “i invited her to play d&d tonight so he might have a chance, but he was staring at her so hard she declined.”
“do you think she’s the type of person who plays d&d in the first place?” mike was walking in circles around his basement, with a pace so steady dustin feared it might make a hole in the floor.
“do you know people can learn?” he snapped, losing his patience already. everyone was.
the party was trying so hard to scheme a plan so that he could speak to you. something, anything, for you to know he exists.
and he was the only one putting no effort into it.
“yes but what if she doesn’t want to? she declined for a reason.”
will sighed, he knew what dustin was about to say, so he cut in before him. “she’s kind. i’m pretty sure she’s the type of person who can’t say no.”
“well, she did.” dustin complained. “and it is all because mister coward looked at her like she was the plague.”
"i panicked, okay? it's not that easy for me to articulate words, especially when she's so close to me" he awkwardly admitted. it was the first time you were that close to him. he didn't know how to act, his brain wasn't working properly. he didn’t know how, or why, but every time you were at least five meters away from him was an alarm that popped up in his brain, telling him to act differently. “this was a bad idea, i shouldn't have ever told you about this. it’s better for us to stop this."
he meant it. he had been having a crush on you for months now, since he saw your presentation about the human brain at your shared chemistry class. he knew who you were: the one who gained attention so easily and had everybody around her, friends with the whole cheerleader and basketball team.
the type of people he doesn't mingle with. the obnoxious kids.
and he was just a nerd. the low profile guy who doesn't speak to anyone outside of his friends.
so that's why he never noticed you, he never cared about what you did because you were just like them. a basic girl with no personality, who only cares about being popular.
but he was wrong, he realized that the day you gave that amazing presentation about neurochemicals, and you replied to every question so easily.
he's been secretly admiring you since that day, knowing damn well that you'll never notice him. that you'd never glance at him back.
you were so smart, and funny, and charismatic, and maybe you weren't even real. perhaps, you were just part of his imagination.
and one day, he came up with the stupid idea to tell his friends about his silly crush on you, thinking that would make it go away.
if anything, it intensified it. mike thought his friends would make him come to his senses, tell him how stupid he was for even thinking about you.
they were amused by the idea of mike liking someone.
and they started to do the thing they knew best: planning.
the whole party started to look at you. they even managed to pair you with will for that english project.
that was the plan, you working with will, getting closer to him and will introduce you to the rest of the party.
so mike could, at least, say hi to you.
"too late, max is already excited about the idea and she won't stop until you say hi to her," will muttered. "and i am too."
"what if we just drop it–”
"no, mike. holy shit.” dustin’s knee-jerk reaction made jane flinch for a second. "we've been staring at her for weeks now. it's too late to hold back. so get over your stupid nerves and talk to her."
mike let out a big sigh as he was pacing around his basement, still thinking about how he could convince his friends to stop this.
he dug his own grave. he was ready to embarrass himself. he already knew you would judge him when he tried to speak to you.
he could picture you saying, "what makes you feel like you can talk to me?"
but how could he stop the feeling? he tried, he really tried. but as much as he tried to not feel things for you, they intensified. it seemd like you were everywhere.
"can we go tomorrow? it's late, and i don't think steve's going to get mad if you don't return his book today,” you put a hand on your chest as you gasped for air. “does he even read by the way? he's not the type to read."
it was already dark, and you were extremely tired, but your sister insisted she had to return a book she had borrowed from steve almost two months ago.
she didn't know why he was being so insistent. apparently, he needed it so bad and the world was gonna end if she didn't return it.
"i know it's late and you're tired but if i don't give him his book today he'll be unbearable and you know how he is," robin replied. she was also tired.
"why are we even walking this way? i thought we had to turn to the left to go to his house."
"he's not there. jesus, he's not even at his house and he's being so obnoxious, if he cared so much he would at least be at his house."
you sighed. "where is he?"
"at a friend's house. he’s more like a babysitter of theirs, but now they're friends. the kids gather there every friday and apparently, he's there tonight."
“how old are they? like five?”
“they’re your age, actually,” robin tilted her head, she just realized that now. “they even go to your school, maybe you know them. they’re funny.”
you sighed, perhaps they knew you and you knew them, but that’s not relevant. it’s not like you were trying to make new friends anyway.
“well, here we are,” your sister stopped. “we’ll try to make this as quick as possible so we can go back home and rest a bit, okay?”
robin knocked on the door, and a blond woman greeted both of you with a smile.
you entered the house with your sister, the woman led you straight to the kitchen, where the group was gathering.
“hey dingus,” robin called him.
the whole party was staring at you in surprise, they weren’t expecting you.
that damn look that made you feel like they were watching you. trying to figure you out.
except for will and jane. they were your friends after all.
more like acquaintances, but still, they were actually the only ones with common sense in that group of weirdos.
and mike, he was dissociating. your gut clenched.
“hi jane.” you greeted her.
“hi y/n. i didn’t know you’d be here.”
“hi y/n,” dustin said. “what brings you here?”
“my sister has to return something to steve, and i’m just accompanying her.” you nodded, a little shy, trying to hide that you’re not really paying much attention to dustin because you only care about mike.
“so…” steve broke the weird tension that began to linger in the room. “do you guys want to stay? we’re going to watch a movie.”
please say no. please say no. please say no.
“no thanks, steve. we already watched two movies and we’re tired. plus,” she pointed at you, “y/n has to wake up early tomorrow morning for her chemistry club meeting, don’t you?”
robin was sensing something. they were acting differently than they used to. even steve was acting weird.
“are you part of the chemistry club?” dustin gasped in surprise seemed to vanish all of the awkwardness and tension of the room.
“yes,” you smiled with affection. “we gather every saturday. i’m actually trying to convince them to meet every day after school but they all have plans.”
“i didn’t know you were in it. sounds fun.” max smiled, but you couldn’t believe she was being honest.
“oh yeah,” robin lifted her brows. “she’s such a geek. she’s even writing a story about two scientists who fall in love in a lab.”
you blushed. “it’s nothing.”
“oh. do you also write?” dustin asked, and you nodded.
he seemed to be the only one who was genuinely curious about you, but it wasn’t malicious, and that felt great.
it was good to feel like he wasn’t judging you.
“mike’s into writing too.” steve pointed at the guy beside him with a smirk. “he’s a great storyteller. he made all of their d&d campaigns incredible, even shakespeare would be jealous of him. right, mike?”
the guy nodded in response. his gaze was anywhere but on you, it even seemed like he was uncomfortable.
“oh… yes. uhm. i– i think i’m going to the bathroom, excuse me.”
“well, it is better if we go,” robin interrupted.
“yes,” you nodded politely again. “see you guys. oh, and will, by the way, we can meet up next monday afternoon to work on the project, don’t you think?”
a few weeks have passed, and the project with will was already over, but surprisingly, you became really good friends. hanging out with him was part of your weekly routine.
his friends were still acting weird, not as much as they used to though, but there were some times things felt odd with them.
also, jane has been reaching out to you lately. she just wanted to know how you were.
maybe she realized her friends were acting weird and that’s her way of making it up to you.
“guess who is staring, again,” your friend stacey noticed, her voice sounding tired. it was a recurring situation.
they looked away the second you lifted your gaze towards them.
“they’re weird,” she spoked again. “it’s been weeks now.”
“are they bothering you?” another friend joined the conversation, he was already looking over the party’s table. “we can put them in their place if you want to. i can call the guys and we’ll make sure they'd never bother you again.”
he was part of the basketball team, and he never played when it came to his friends, but you knew what that meant. and no, you were against any type of violence.
“what if they’re not the threat you guys think they are,” laura, one of your friends, suggested. “what we know so far, is that they’re acting as if you were a science project or something that needs to be investigated. but what if…” she paused. “what if they’re just acting weird because one of them is into you?”
you narrowed your eyes and tilted your head in confusion. you heard chrissy and her boyfriend jason laugh.
“why would they do that? if that was the case, they could just talk to her. it’s not that hard to say hi,” jason pointed out the obvious. “and i swear i’m genuinely asking. i’m not being sarcastic.”
“please, they’re nerds. they must be thinking we bite or something,” laura rolled her eyes, and everyone (you included) widened their eyes as if this was the biggest discovery of the year.
“that actually makes sense,” jason reflected. “but still, it’s it not that hard to say hi.”
“i think it is cute,” stacey smiled. “what if they’re planning something to talk to you.”
you thought about it for a second.
it was just a coincidence.
laura was watching too many tv shows, and she was so convincing, so you already knew your friends were believing all of that crap. but no, that’s a narrative that’s not worth believing.
“i’m pretty sure they hate me,” you took a bite of your pasta, fighting the urge to look at them again.
mike was staring, then immediately looked away.
he was also eating pasta.
“what if they don’t,” chrissy suggested. “what if laura’s theory is true and someone’s actually into you.”
you shook your head. it didn’t matter what they thought. “impossible. why would they do that?”
you kept your gaze locked on the party’s table, without knowing what they were talking about, but knowing for sure it must be something serious because of their faces.
however, what you didn’t know, was that they were in fact, having a serious conversation about you. mike rolled his eyes as he heard dustin condescendingly asking, “why wouldn’t we do that, mike?”
“i second that. i’m stressed,” max confessed. “we’ve already arranged too many scenarios for you to talk to her. and what do you do? nothing. you just stare at the floor, or the ceiling. anything but her face.”
“and when you look at her it's like you want her to disappear,” the thing lucas had just added felt like adding a grain of rice to a bowl full of rice, it might seem insignificant from the outside (and perhaps, it was), but it just felt like adding fuel to a fire mike never wanted to witness.
“it’s not like she bites,” will interrupted mike, who was about to open his mouth, “and, she’s just like everyone else. you have a lot in common. more than you think.”
mike widened his eyes, a little upset.
“you guys are friends now? how could you do that? you’re a traitor!”
“a traitor?” dustin snapped. “you’re the one who’s afraid to talk to her. if anything, he’s not a traitor. if he’s a traitor, then i’m a traitor. i talked to her the other day.”
everyone nodded. they were right.
“you have no right to say that, mike. we’ve done nothing but help you, and you’re wasting every chance you get.”
“she’s right.” lucas agreed. “i never thought i’d say this but maybe we should drop it. you’re too cowardly and awkward to look at her, this is never going to work.”
“i agree.” dustin sighed tiredly.
they were right, mike thought. this was never going to work. lucas was right too, maybe he was a coward.
he could never talk to you. what if you hate him? what if you’d laugh at him in private? what if you talked about him with your friends and they all laugh like they were doing now?
mike could hear them laughing from afar. even if they were at the other corner of the cafeteria, the noise was still audible.
he glanced at you, again. you looked happy.
it was dumb to think you could laugh about him with your friends. he bet they don’t even know who he is.
and that you despised him. because why wouldn’t you? he looked at you like you were the plague. you have every right to hate him.
he just couldn’t control himself. every time he sees you, his heart starts beating as if he’s been running for miles. and something in his gut begs him to run away, to be as far away as possible from you.
maybe this was for the best. he knows his place, and it’s far away from you. things have to stay the way they are.
he could always admire you from afar, while wishing for the feeling to disappear. to vanish. to go extinct.
“yeah… maybe it is for the best. this was stupid anyway.”
and right when they gave up, you were in the other corner of the room, starting a secret mission.
you were going to figure out if your friend’s theory was correct, and who was that guy if there was any.
it wasn’t that hard. you were friends with will now, and you could reach out to jane anytime. everything was so convenient. robin was friends with steve, and steve was friends with dustin. there was also a guy in your chemistry club who was friends with dustin, and lucas was trying to get into the basketball team.
that’s how the next few days went. you tried to talk to will as much as you could, and he willingly let you in. however, his friends weren’t judging you anymore, which was weird.
maybe they already figured you out.
or they got used to your presence. it’s not like you were with them every time, you have your own life after all, and it wasn’t your intention to make them feel uncomfortable. but the more you spent time around them, the more you started to feel that your hypothesis was wrong.
but you couldn’t quite find what you were looking for.
it’s been weeks now, and it seemed like you were getting along with everyone there.
you still felt like he was uncomfortable with your presence, like his day was instantly ruined when his eyes met yours.
at least he could look at you now.
something that did count as progress, though, was the fact that now he could be in the same room as you without feeling an overwhelming urge to run away, like right now. the two of you were in the library, you studying for your upcoming literature test (or at least trying), and him sitting with his back turned to you while reading a book.
it was ironic that the one time he could peacefully stay in the place as you happened to be when he was sitting a few feet away from you on a couch, completely unaware that you were there too.
without knowing you were staring.
it was hard to do anything when he was near. he caught your attention like a magnet. why was he like that? he looked so normal there, sitting with a book in his hands. he even looked good.
he looked good when he’s not close to you, looking at you like you were going to attack him.
the thought of it upset you.
you gave up on your studying a long time ago. you kept staring for twenty minutes without him realizing.
it doesn’t matter, he would never look at you anyway. he never did.
if anything, he hates you.
but this has to end. it can’t be like this forever.
you just have to know why, and then move on.
so when he stood up and grabbed his bag, almost ready to leave, you knew that was the perfect moment. you were nervous, yes, but that didn't stop you from taking every inch of bravery inside your body and standing up, following him.
he opened the door, completely oblivious to the fact that you were behind him. his pace was fast, and you were almost sprinting to catch up. and when you did, you grabbed him by the shoulder.
the question came out like a reflex, making you regret it instantly.
he widened his eyes, and stepped back a little. “w–what?”
his heart started beating fast, but he couldn’t bring himself to give you a cold look. he just couldn’t, as much as he tried, he just couldn’t.
“don’t act like you don’t know,” your gaze locked into his. you didn’t know how, but you were being brave.
“i know you don’t like me, wheeler. and i want to know why. i haven’t done anything wrong for you to look at me the way you do, and act like i was the most horrible thing on earth. i’m tired of it.”
he just managed to look at you.
was this true? you, asking him why he doesn’t talk to you?
he doesn’t hate you. he could never hate you. he can’t believe you paid attention to him.
“aren’t you going to talk?” you crossed your arms. “i asked you one thing. i know you hate me. and i want to know. why.”
“n–no?” you repeated with your heart almost exploding, but surprisingly steady. “just tell me why.”
“i don’t hate you,” he confessed.
you started to grow anxious. maybe you were exaggerating everything, and you’re just not that important to him. he looks like a shy guy anyway. and you weren’t respecting his personal space.
yes, it must be that. you don't know why the party was so amused with you, staring at you during breaks, classes, and anytime they possibly could while thinking you were so dumb you wouldn’t realize they were doing it.
but now you know, that mike was the only one who didn't care about you. he never looked at you, he tried to avoid you at all cost.
and it was funny, because as much as you wanted the group to leave you out of whatever was going on, you also wanted him to look at you.
you felt stupid for thinking there was something hidden. he said it, he doesn't hate you. and the look on his face shows how surprised he is over your question.
he was surprised because you're not even a thought to him. as much as you have friends in common, you were nothing to him. but it didn't matter. you'd react the same way if a stranger approached you and asked you, with a weird and dominant tone, why you hate them.
“okay…” your voice was low, and defeated. every sign of bravery inside you slipped away as fast as it got there in the first place. “sorry… this… this was stupid. sorry.”
something inside his heart broke.
he couldn't know what was going on in your mind, but he didn’t want you to feel like this. not now that you know about him.
not now that he knows he’s been making you feel bad for the past couple weeks. wasn’t he?
were you really feeling like that?
“i don’t hate you,” he repeated. “i’m sorry for being such an asshole.”
you didn’t reply. you came back to your usual shyness.
“i just never thought you’d care.”
you lifted your gaze to him.
“why wouldn’t i? what kind of girl do you think i am?” that was a rhetorical question, you didn’t let him reply. “i’ve been talking to your friends for the last few weeks, and they all seemed to be nice to me. they’re always talking about you and how amazing you are and that we have a lot in common. they always say you’re the nicest person, but you’ve never shown that to me.”
the expression on his face was unreadable. what was he thinking? he’s like a book you cannot read, like a mystery you cannot solve.
mike, instead, was amused.
he felt strange, and embarrassed. and guilty.
you wanted him to talk to you?
you. y/n. the brightest person in the world.
someone so out of his league.
you continued. “i also got this weird feeling, that everything’s a trap and that you all hate me. you guys don’t do that anymore, but your friends used to look at me like i was a freak, like i’m a monster. a weird stupid science project you have to investigate. do you all hate me?”
why would you ever think that? he thought. mike knew that he and his friends could be a little intense when they had something on their minds, but the plan was never to make you feel uncomfortable.
“no. no, y/n. it’s not like that, i swear. if anything, you’re not a freak. they actually like you.”
“well, it doesn’t seem like it.”
he could just pretend none of this happened and move on. he'll hear you laugh, mock him and he'll be rejected. that's how it is supposed to be. that's how life works.
if he tells you the truth, then you won't feel bad about this and you'd move on.
“sorry, y/n." he began. "you’re not a freak, you’re not a monster. you’re none of that. and we don’t hate you, i… i just.” he paused, reconsidering whether or not he should do this. “they were acting like that because they were helping me. i wanted to talk to you so badly but i didn't know how and they were helping. but i get nervous whenever i’m close to you, and i’m sorry. i can’t control it. i just feel like you’re so amazing, and so smart and so pretty that i—”
“wait,” you interrupted him, shocked. “what are you trying to say is that you like me?”
his heart stopped beating for a second, and his stomach began to ache.
he didn’t want you to know that.
he wanted to disappear. he wanted this to be a dream.
no, you wouldn't. all of this was shocking.
you crossed your arms, looking at the floor to hide the pink shade growing on your cheeks.
you’d never thought about that being possible, because you liked him too. in a weird way, but you did.
did you? no, you didn’t. you were just attracted to him because he was interesting but you would never like him. the thought of him ignoring you was awful. why would you like someone like that?
no, no, no. you didn’t, and he didn’t say it explicitly, so maybe he doesn’t like you. he just asked if you’d hate him for it.
but the words that came out of your mouth betrayed you. your brain was betraying you.
“why would i hate you? i think it’s cute.”
he also blushed. the feeling growing in his chest was something impossible to describe.
you didn’t embarrass him for liking you. you even… got nervous?
what did all of that mean?
at least you didn't laugh. he had dreamed of this moment so, so, so many times, and you rejected him in every one of them.
he knew that's what was going to happen now, but he didn't expect you to not laugh.
“i… i… gotta go.” you muttered with embarrassment in your voice, confused about everything. “see you around i guess.”
“WHAT?” lucas yelled at mike. all of his friends wanted to scream. “so you’re telling me, that she liked you this whole time?”
the boy lowered his head out of embarrassment. this whole situation was humbling.
telling his friends, in the first place, was something that humbled him. telling them to drop the plan they carefully schemed for him was something else. but telling them about what happened a few hours ago?
it felt like he dug his own grave. he knew how they’d react. they might feel like all the effort they’ve put into their plan was wasted. and for what? you made the first move.
they’ve spent weeks trying and begging mike to make a move. and you did it as fast as someone could snap their fingers.
mike didn’t know in which part of his brain he should put this encounter. did it belong to the good memories? because it was definitely the highlight of his day. his week. even his month.
or should this be a one time thing? something that his short term memory should hold until it's eventually forgotten?
maybe you’re too bad at rejecting people and you just felt the urge to run away.
mike suspected that a lot of people came to you every single day to confess their love to you. and if that wasn’t the case, then it was impossible because who wouldn’t fall for you?
you might be used to it. he wasn't special.
“we don’t know if she likes him or not,” dustin warned.
“at least she got the nerve,” jane said. “our friend right here got us juggling for months, all of that for nothing.”
mike snorted. “maybe we should forget this—”
“again, mike? seriously?” will interrupted him, completely pissed. “it feels like you don’t care. even she cares about you. you’re the one pushing her away!”
"yes, you are," dustin interrupted. "but still, we don't know what that meant, so i think it's better if we resume our plan. let's find out what she thinks about you, so you can make a move and be with her."
"she knows it," mike warned, settling into the couch he was already seated on, as if doing that would make him become one with the it, and make this whole situation eventually go away. "she doesn't know about the plan, but i told her that you were helping me. and she knew it. she felt observed by you. she thinks we look at her like she's a monster, or a science project."
no one talked. will exchanged looks with dustin and max.
"okay. maybe we went too far with this," dustin confessed. "what should we do now?"
"have you ever thought about asking her how she feels?" will suggested. "i can do that. we're friends. and maybe she's right, maybe we are a little too obsessed with her."
"it’s going to work if mr. shyness isn’t doing his part." max noted. "what's the point of doing all of this if he's going to run away?"
"hey, she was the one who ran away first." lucas argued.
"yes, but it was because she was afraid. it was too much for her," will replied.
"how do you even know that?"
"i'm just guessing, lucas."
"we are here to help mike."
"yes, but that's not going to work if he keeps being insecure."
"what do you even know, will?"
"stop fighting!" mike raised his voice. "maybe she just ran away because she doesn't like me. i never said that i like her, at least, not explicitly. but what if she ran away because she didn't want me to say that? that's a big possibility. huge, actually. she will never look at me like that, and i'm just being a fool for thinking otherwise."
"you'll never know if you don't try."
"are you that good at math?" will asked you with a grin. it was his new discovery. "i'd never have suspected that. is there something you are not good at?"
you blushed. "it's not like i'm good, good. i just studied harder this time. actually, i was completely sucking at it. if i didn't pass this test i assure you i wouldn't be here because my parents would’ve killed me."
it flattered you. you weren't the brightest mind of your generation. you considered yourself an average person who doesn't stand out from the rest, except when it comes to chemistry, of course.
the only thing that, perhaps, made you special was the fact that you were popular. your friend group was full of people who excelled at everything, so it wasn't that hard to think that you were perfect. even your parents thought that. they've always put too much pressure on you.
but still, that wasn't the case. and being friends with will was somehow... liberating, you felt like he didn't expect anything.
it's not like you told him everything anyway. and you knew perfectly well it went both ways. he hid the fact that mike...
did will know about what happened the other day? maybe not. if that was the case, you bet he wouldn't be as nice as he always was.
if will knew about that, would he be mad at you?
why would he be mad at you?
and what were you feeling?
the thought of mike liking you lingered in your mind for the whole weekend. you wanted to keep it a secret, but the anxiety inside of you was growing so much that it wasn’t hard for your sister to notice that something was off.
robin was just as surprised as you, until she started connecting the dots.
the first thing robin remembered was steve being so annoying over a book he never read, and insisting on them coming to mike's house.
when she saw mike's reaction that evening, the obvious thing was to suspect that he disliked you. but now it made sense. mike wheeler is not the type to run away. if he'd disliked you, then he would have shown it.
he wouldn’t admit people he hates in his house.
another clue was the way his friends looked at you the whole time.
robin confirmed it. it didn't take a genius to know that.
but shit got real when you both went to steve's house, and pushed him to confess the truth.
he even told you about their plan. the plan he was part of. at some point.
why would someone go this far for you?
it's not like they went too far though (or not as much as they could have if mike weren’t so shy and actually made a move. dustin was already planning your first date, where mike was supposed to take you to a chemistry exhibition), they just stared at you. but still, no one had ever done that to you.
it was cute. maybe in a creepy way, but still cute.
it's like one of those movies where a guy has a crush and he and his friends do everything they can for her to like him.
but he wouldn't talk to you. would he?
you wish you could tell will. or at least someone more neutral, because you knew he was mike's friend after all.
and telling someone that you've run away after somebody implicitly told you he likes you was... a little embarrassing.
especially to friends of mike.
you haven’t had the chance to talk to him. you wanted to talk before class, but he missed the first period. then you saw him entering the hallway, but he vanished the minute he saw you.
a part of you liked that. a part of you wanted that because you were too cowardly to encounter him.
what would you say anyway? nothing. there was nothing on your mind. you just wanted to be close to him. to look at his pretty face.
you could stare at his face for hours without getting bored of it. you’ve already done that, but this time would be different.
the past few times you stared at him were because you wanted to figure him out, because he was hiding something.
and now… you just wanted to look at him to memorize his face.
but you were too awkward for that. you knew you’d run away if he had the intention to approach you. you weren’t better than him.
you looked at your friend, who was too focused on drawing. you gathered at the school quad for lunch, and for him to teach you how to draw.
you sucked at it he almost gave up.
“hey, will.” he lifted up his gaze. “do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?”
he tilted his head. “i’d never thought about it, actually. and introvert? perhaps. why? are you an extrovert?”
how could you ask for advice without being too obvious?
“i don’t know. everyone might assume i’m an extrovert but in reality i’m really shy. actually, i don’t know how to begin conversations as much as i want to talk.”
was it too obvious that you were trying to ask him how to start a conversation with his best friend?
he smiled in confusion. “aren’t we having a conversation now?”
you shook your head. “that’s not what i meant. i mean, sometimes i get nervous when i see someone i don’t talk to but i want to. it’s complicated, because what if he hates me?” you were too focused on your words that you didn’t notice will’s facial expressions when you dropped that pronoun. “or maybe he’s afraid of me because he thinks i’m a monster. maybe i gave him the wrong impression, or i just– he just. ugh. it doesn’t matter. i’m a coward. i bet i’d run if he gets close to me. maybe i should forget it.”
“oh?” you repeated. “what does ‘oh’ mean?”
“i don’t know, i’ve never had a crush on someone. but i don’t think this has to do with you being shy, maybe you just like someone.”
you frowned. “i never said i like someone. i just said i don’t know how to act when someone is near, which is stupid because he’s anywhere but near to me, and even if he was–”
dustin and lucas were walking towards you.
he didn’t see you, he wasn’t paying attention, he looked distracted.
and you were right. the first thing you’d do if he gets near you is to run.
there were mixed feelings stuck in your core, because a part of you wanted to flee from this, and the other one couldn’t help but look at him.
he looked even better while he was distracted.
“i– gotta go.” you stood up as fast as you could, grabbing your things. “i forgot that– i have to– i… see you at lunch.”
hopefully, there was a tree where you could hide and watch him from afar, hoping they didn’t see you, and that will didn’t suspect anything.
the boys’ voices weren’t as loud as you wished they were, but you were trying your best to hear their conversation.
mike was there, looking good and smiling at something dustin said. he was in his natural form anyway. looking at the people he loves the way he’d never look at you.
you sat on the floor, running a hand through your hair. you knew you were ruining your clothes while sitting on wet grass and that your parents might get upset because they've just bought you that pair of jeans, but you didn't care. you wanted to see them, to hear what they were saying.
"please, will. you're the one who's always insisting on playing d&d. why are you skipping it this time?"
"i don't know if you guys remember, but we have a chemistry test next week. and it's hard."
mike crossed his arms, blushing as he turned his head to avoid everyone's gaze.
"why don't you ask y/n for help?" lucas smiled as he raised his brows. "i bet mike will be glad to join you."
something moved inside your stomach. their conversation wasn’t audible enough, but you recognized your name. they were talking about you, and mike had his back turned. you were sure he was frowning, rolling his eyes as the mere idea of spending time with you would bother him.
"i was thinking of that. but i literally know nothing and it'd be embarrassing. she'd talk about hard topics and i barely know what electron configuration is." he paused, looking at mike. "maybe you could talk to her."
"no." he snapped fast. "it's awkward."
dustin rolled his eyes. and lucas asked "dude, can you recall what her reaction was the other day? she doesn't hate you."
will knew he had to keep quiet. y/n was his friend after all, and he wasn't the type to spill his friends' secrets.
but mike was his best friend.
and he was tired of him being a coward.
"maybe she likes you," he cleared his throat, grabbing everyone's attention.
god, will felt so guilty, he couldn't believe he was betraying his friend.
it was better to trust the bigger picture. right?
“she was here before you,” he continued. “she told me she wanted to talk to a guy, but every time he’s around she gets nervous and doesn’t know how to act. she literally said she’d run away if she saw him.” he glanced at mike. “and then she did exactly that before you guys showed up.”
it wasn't that hard to figure out. she did it twice.
it was obvious. it was him.
thank god you weren't listening to any of this.
dustin smiled. "dude, that means something."
mike's heart skipped a beat for a second. you wanted to talk to him. maybe you were feeling the same.
maybe it was time to stop being so afraid of rejection. you're not gonna reject him, he didn't know what you were going to do, but he knew you weren't.
it was time to stop acting like a coward, and face his feelings.
there was a little chance that things could work.
but every ounce of faith vanished when he heard a guy saying "yo, y/n."
why was he calling your name? you weren’t even there.
on the other hand, you closed your eyes and put both hands on your head, pretending that would make you invisible.
it was jason and his stupid friend walking towards you. the guys don't have to know you were spying on them, and you didn’t want to know what they’d think if they knew.
you put a finger on your mouth, signaling for them to shut up while you tried to walk away in a squatting position, without being noticed.
but you stumbled over a branch, and eventually fell.
god, they saw you. you saw mike's eyes widen.
jason and his friend approached you while you were standing up. you cleaned your clothes and a sigh came out of your mouth.
"what were you doing there on the floor? the girls and i have been looking for you for thirty minutes now."
your heart was beating fast. they were watching.
"see, let me introduce you to my new friend, he–"
but you didn't let him finish, you just stuttered "ni–nice hat." and then ran.
god, what was wrong with you?
the party saw everything. it was the first time they saw you that nervous, different from the confident girl they were used to.
mike couldn’t hear what you were talking about, but he remembered will's words from minutes ago.
“she gets nervous and doesn’t know how to act. she literally said she’d run away if she saw him. and then she did exactly that before you guys showed up.”
maybe he wasn't the one you liked.
"why don't you tell him the truth?" steve suggested behind the counter.
you came to the mall to see your sister and rant about what happened today. everyone knew you were a little (too much, actually) shy, but not the type to act like a fool and run away from your problems. your behaviour was different, this wasn't normal and you couldn't understand why. so you hoped your sister could.
and seeing your sister at work also meant seeing steve. you guys get along, you're not particularly close, but he's good when it comes to giving advice.
the fact that he was also friends with dustin made it 100% better. he said he doesn't want to be part of it and act like a spy, but after seeing robin's face, he knew he had no choice.
dustin was insistent before. he wanted steve to help the party, but it faded quickly, and steve was sure that he wouldn't be part of it.
"what truth?" you put your fist under your chin.
"i don't know if i like him," you responded a little embarrassed. "and i saw him today, entering the school's hallway. he acted like he saw a ghost and ran. what if he despises me?"
robin rolled her eyes. "then why is he acting like that? y/n barely knew he existed till last week, but we know mike. you know he's not the type to do that."
they looked at you, and you shook your head.
"no, it's not like that. i've been watching him even before they started to investigate me. i
dare to say that i’ve been watching him since he joined the hellfire club. because he looks sexy in that shirt and all that stuff, you know.”
both steve and robin raised their brows in disbelief and then looked at each other. none of them imagined you’d say that.
“oh, please. you cannot tell me he doesn’t look good, don’t even dare to say it.” you threatened them. “like i was saying. he was the only one not paying attention to me and that made me curious. i've been tracking his moves in silence, and i didn't want to tell anyone because i'd look crazy."
steve's lips flatten into a thin line, while his eyelids tightened and pupils focused. he sighed. “you know, i would rather tell you that you’re crazy, but i’ll say that their plan didn't actually work because michael didn't make any move. and we're not going to repeat that now. so, y/n." he called you. "we can't help you with this if you keep running every time you see him."
"face it?" he asked, as if it was the most obvious thing.
"hey, dingus. don't be condescending," robin mumbled. “she already knows.”
"sorry, but it's frustrating. you're so obsessed with each other but you're so coy, and it's frustrating."
"and how can i do that, mr. know-it-all when it comes to love? a pretty guy saw me acting like a fool and embarrassing myself. what should i do? go to him and tell him that i like him like it's easy?"
a girl behind your back cleared her throat, she wanted to order. you moved to the side while steve was serving her some ice cream.
before leaving, she looked you straight in the eyes and murmured “if i was you. i wouldn’t hide. that boy is crazy for you.”
“see?” steve pointed the palm of his hand towards the path the girl (who now was nowhere to be seen) followed. “even that stranger agreed.”
it was a cold morning, the coldest morning in a long time, and you were still half asleep, all you wished by now was to be resting in your bed instead of staring at your locker thinking about what to do today.
you listened to steve’s words. you were going to talk to mike and tell him what’s going on. everything happened so fast the other day, and so unconsciously. but today was a new day to start.
except, you wanted to bury your face in the ground.
you closed the locker’s door and walked alone towards the classroom. you didn’t know where your friends were, but you assumed they were late.
there weren’t too many people in the classroom, so it wasn’t hard to notice that lucas and dustin were there. that made it a hundred times worse, you haven’t seen them since the day they saw you stumble to the ground and then run away.
even if they aren’t aware of mike’s situation, it was still embarrassing. and with mike in the picture? unbearable.
your stomach started to ache. he was going to enter through that door at any moment, and you won’t be able to run as you did before.
worse, you knew you had to approach him after class and ask him if he wanted to talk.
how are you going to pay attention in class under those circumstances?
you didn’t. you were making doodles for a whole hour, and after a huge debate with your own head, you decided that you’ll talk to him at the end of the day.
it’s not going to be that uncomfortable if you make it that way. doesn’t matter what he says, the possibility of going home to cry while hugging a pillow was always there.
the fact that he was participating in every class today wasn’t helpful at all, it was like he made it on purpose. like he wanted to be known.
he used to be invisible to you, now you couldn’t stand this.
you also couldn’t stand your friend saying “i told you so” during lunch. you weren’t sure if he liked you or not.
mike said some things the other day, but he never said it directly to your face. dif it count?
did he know that you were watching him too? hopefully not. you managed the art of being invisible while everyone was looking at you.
at lunch, he wasn’t even staring at you, neither his friends nor will. you were the one looking at them, and that was, somehow… concerning.
“hey.” your friend put her hand on your shoulder. “it’ll be okay. trust me.”
but you weren’t that confident.
the bell rang, and with that the day was over, yet your day was barely starting.
you wanted to puke. you knew you were going to puke if you don’t run.
it was a risk you had to take, you thought. the worst thing that could happen was to throw up on his face. but why were you thinking those things? you were better than that.
so you walked through the hallway, looking for him, with some kind of confidence. you tried to mimic the way you acted the other day, but everything faded away when you saw him.
that’s the most embarrassing thing. how are you going to be able to go there and ask, “can we talk?”
it was time to abort the mission. to go home crying and forgetting everything.
you were going to lay your head on your locker, until you saw them walking away towards the quad. fine, he was going to stay at school a little longer. good.
it didn’t take them too much time to leave, but you did take your time to walk out. each step you took made you feel like your legs were made of lead. so heavy as you got near them.
he was outside. with his friends.
they weren't aware of your presence, yet. however, you couldn't help but stop your steady pacing and hide behind a pillar to peep at him.
mike looked adorable, smiling amicably at something you couldn't quite hear, but you were dying to know. everyone seemed happy.
you closed your eyes and sighed, mentally preparing yourself for what was coming.
mike was the first one who laid his eyes on you, and quit eye contact as quickly as possible. as if looking at you was something he had forbidden. something that could not happen in any universe.
he was surprised, and so were his friends, except for will.
"oh. hi, y/n." he greeted you with a grin. "didn't know you were here."
"hi, will." you greeted him demurely. then, turning your gaze to mike, you asked with fake confidence even people who were miles away from you would notice. "hey. uhm, can we talk?"
as much as he was good at hiding it, mike froze, at the same time his heart started beating faster.
"uh... sure." he stood up and went straight to you.
you both left his friends behind. you wanted to be in a place that was as private as possible, but didn't know exactly where.
"where are we going?" he put his hands in his pockets.
"i don't know," you replied embarrassed, then stopped and turned to him. you had already moved away from acquaintances and were standing in front of school. there were still people there. "do you want to take a walk?"
he couldn't believe this was real. you wanted to talk, and also walk. how is he supposed to feel about this? it was hard to know. he wasn't even aware of what you wanted, and he already felt miserable for having believed that he might have a chance with you, that there was a universe where you actually looked at him.
at least you know who he is. he could live with that. he was content with it. there was no need for more.
however, his heart couldn't agree with him. it was beating fast, and each and every organ was twisting inside his body. he tried to convince himself it wasn't that deep, but maybe it was.
you confronted him the other day, wanting to know why he ignores you every time you're near. he indirectly confessed to you. and you haven't spoken since.
and the fact that you weren't speaking was on the verge of sending him straight to a coma. maybe he'd die right there from a heart attack.
you weren't that different from him either, hugging your stomach with your arms. there were a few people on the streets, you didn't know them whatsoever.
there was a square in the front. you decided to go there and sit on the swings.
mike's eyes were focused on you. his hands were attached to the swing ropes, as if holding them there would also hold him from breaking apart.
"well," you started without looking at him. "i've been having a debate inside my mind that then turned into a war about whether i should or shouldn't do this. but i won't be okay until i do. it's... it's just." you sighed. "i don't know how to say this."
nothing but silence. he didn't reply, and you assumed he wanted you to finish the idea.
so you continued. "uhm. first of all, i think i should apologize for the way i talked to you the other day. that was wrong, i know, and i shouldn't have done that. i'm sorry. i regret treating you like that, i know i shouldn't have and i won't do it again."
"oh." he muttered in surprise, his eyes still focused on you, debating if this was real or not. "don't worry y/n, i shouldn't have been so cold either. i shouldn't have let my friends peep at you and stalk you like you were a brand new topic. i'm sorry."
the truth was that it upset him a little. he knew he shouldn't, but he'd let that happen every time if that meant you treating him like that, everything was acceptable if it means being near you.
what was also true, was the fact that he regretted doing all that. if it wasn't for him telling his friends that he had a little crush on you, then you wouldn't have approached him like you did the other day.
you wouldn't even be having this conversation.
he shouldn't have started it in the first place. it was stupid. and now he knew that it was better not to tell anyone whenever he had feelings for somebody.
you should be rejecting him by now. why were you taking so long to do it?
mike thought you were searching for the right words. how could he know, it was the first time he saw you like this, full of shyness and nervousness.
“it was a mistake. a tremendous mistake and it’ll never happen again. i’ll make sure of it.”
fidgeting with your fingers was the most entertaining activity right now, it kept you grounded, connected to reality. your mind tried to focus on the ground, as if watching the grass below you might fill you with courage, but feeling his gaze on you was shaking every belief you had.
mike was finally looking at you, seeing you.
giving you the attention you craved for weeks.
but you wanted to bury your face in the ground and hide from the truth, because confessing it was odd.
“do you regret that?” you finally looked at him with a sigh coming out of your lips. “i mean, you wish you never told them stuff?”
mike didn’t reply, he just thought about it. it wasn’t something he had to think about, because he already knew the answer. he just didn’t know if it would be the right idea to tell you the truth.
he did regret that, of course he did. mike wouldn’t lie if he said that you approaching him the other day was the best thing that had ever happened to him in his life, and he knew that it wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for his friends. but he also felt guilty.
he knew he made you uncomfortable. and all of this was embarrassing as hell.
so yes, it’d be better if all of this had never happened. you came from two different worlds.
he was about to speak, until you asked it.
his whole body froze at your words. even though he mumbled a lot of things the other day, he never told you directly. however, it was so obvious, taht he thought you already knew.
this moment was so humbling. what if you knew and you just wanted to laugh?
mike hated the fact that all of his confidence disappeared.
your heart broke. you could feel your entire body tightening, as if there were tree roots moving, gripping all over your body like they wanted to suffocate you, until you ran out of air.
you could say “okay,” stand up from that swing and go home to cry, then go to school the day after and pretend nothing happened, avoiding michael till the day you die. graduation wasn’t that far away after all. you’ll never see him again after that.
you’ll never see him after that.
and that was the exact same reason that doing all of this wouldn’t matter in the future.
that, and the fact that if you didn’t do it, you’ll have had steve getting on your nerves.
“well. bad for me because i do.” you finally confessed, a little mad at his answer.
that heavy feeling lifted from your body. it wasn’t that bad. it might be humbling but at least you said it.
“what?” mike’s expression was unreadable, and that was frustrating.
you sighed, closing your eyes while trying to keep your calm.
"i know it must be crazy, because we don't talk. we've never talked before, but i just– i just–" you stuttered, voice shaking. "i just– ugh. i don't know, michael. i– i don't know when it happened. maybe i was curious about you. i don't know. i swear i don't."
you swallowed with your eyes closed, it's like you were unable to open them after all you spilled. your stomach was heavy, as if there were metal clubs inside of you.
your whole body felt ponderous.
and mike's silence wasn't helping. at all.
so you had to continue. it didn't matter that you hated embarrassing yourself and you knew you might will, but you had to continue.
"i can't stop thinking about you. and it drives me so fucking crazy, so much that i think i might hate you, but i really don’t. i don't understand why i feel this, you've literally never paid attention to me and that was all i've been wanting for the past few weeks and i don't get it. i really don't get it." you finally opened your eyes. something inside of you changed, and now you just wanted to spill the truth. to get this feeling out of your chest, out of yourself. “i think you deserve to know this. if i didn't tell you this i'm pretty sure it would stick into my bones like a disease. and i can't stand this. if you don't like me that's okay, we can pretend that nothing happened, but... i don't know. just don't act like you despise me every time we are in the same room. just... i don't know. just ignore me."
despite the common belief, you were a shy person. from the outside it might look like you're not because of how popular you were, but that's simply because of your friends. they were the ones who'd always helped you when it came to socializing with people.
and sure, you can talk to others, it is not like you can't. but that happens only if you don't care that much about them.
you get so awkward when you want people to like you.
“i think i might go to a cardiologist… oh god.” you let out a big sigh, without believing that all of those words came out of your mouth. “i can’t believe i said all of this. so– sorry. i just thought you deserved to know.”
mike wanted to slap himself in the face, or pinch himself, or throw a bucket of ice on his head. whatever could wake him up from this fantasy.
was this real? this wasn't a dream? was this some kind of prank? did his friends tell her to do this?
your brows almost became one from how much you frowned.
“no. i mean– yes. but… but i, i. i never thought you’d feel that way about me.” he confessed. “this thing,” he was about to point at himself and then you, but then he felt like he wasn’t supposed to do that, there was nothing between you and him. “i mean, you know. you liking me, it was something that only happened in my head, like, all the time. and i convinced myself that it could never happen in real life.”
“so you lied to me before?”
“yes. but… it was only because i thought you’d laugh. that you’d tell me to never look at you again.”
you smiled. your whole body was a mix of euphoria and warmth. as if there could be calm and also fireworks happening.
steve was right. your friends were right. everyone was right but you. and you didn't mind that mike lied to you because you'd do the same if he asked you.
that question lingered in mike’s head that he thought it could be.
"i... don't know. i guess i was intimidated and i thought you'd never see me like that." he looked at you straight in the eye. you finally made eye contact for more than two seconds. "i mean, we've never talked and i'm pretty sure you didn't know i existed a few months ago."
you tilted your head in disbelief.
"and i thought you liked someone else. that guy your friend introduced you to, and you said "nice hat" before running away."
"what makes you think i'd like him?" you raised your brows with a smile on your face.
mike was trapped. he couldn't expose will, that's not what friends do.
"uh... you looked nervous around him?" he tried to answer. but the way he talked seemed more like a question rather than a statement.
holly opened the door and widened her eyes. you froze, you should've known she might be there.
"y/n?" she glanced at you in surprise, lifting her eyebrows. "what are you doing here? how did you know where i live?"
"oh. holly..." you grinned uncomfortably, feeling your cheeks go pink. "what– what are you doing here?"
jesus. were you really asking that?
"uh... i live here?" she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"oh. right." you blinked, trying not to make the situation more uncomfortable than it actually was. "is mike here, by any chance?"
of course he was there. you both agreed to meet at his house. you were picking him up to go out.
she flickered in disbelief. "mike? like, my brother mike?"
"yes?" you asked hesitantly.
holly didn't expect you to come to her house asking for her brother, she almost felt like she was in a trap, because everything she might say or every facial expression she made will eventually turn out to expose mike. she knew that. but before she could open her mouth, he showed up beside her, with a sheepish expression.
"hi." mike let out a sigh in relief. warmth climbed up his neck, spreading across his cheeks.
"hi," you responded the same way.
"hi, mike." holly lifted her eyebrows and smirked. "it seems like you have visitors."
both of you didn't pay that much attention to her. you were so busy exchanging looks. you smiled at him. he looked so pretty, wearing a striped vest, with his hair purposely messy.
until he realized his sister was there, staring at both of you.
"oh, yeah." he cleared his throat. "see, holly, this is y/n. and y/n, this is–"
"don't worry, mike. we know each other." holly's eyes diverted between you and him.
"ah. yeah." you smiled, looking at the girl. "how's everything going, holly?"
"fine, all good." she nodded, comfortably. then added, "what about you, y/n. how's everything going with that boy that you like, any news?"
she really didn't mean to ask that, she asked it out of curiosity, before realizing how inappropriate it was. mike's feelings will crash and she'll be the only one to blame.
"i think everything's going well," you replied flustered. something inside holly switched, making her feel like there were things she didn't know.
was she spiraling? was she seeing things that weren't there?
she was definitely missing something, she realized the minute she saw her brother's expression. he was surprised, but it wasn't in a bad way, and that confused her, because if something bad was going on, he'd look uncomfortable.
she just changed the subject. "why didn't you guys tell me you know each other? are you guys friends?"
"uh... something like that." he answered quickly, clearing his throat as if that could make his mouth stop being so dry. "well, holly, we're going. i'll be back later."
"bye holly." you waved at her.
you let out a big sigh once you and mike were a few steps away from his house. that was a little awkward and the tension was very palpable. you hope that holly won't ask you why you didn't tell her that you like her brother. it was almost like a betrayal, she spent all these weeks helping you and listening to you talking about him.
is not like her help worked anyway, yet she was there, and that's what mattered.
"oh. my sister works at this ice cream shop and holly goes almost everyday. we eventually started talking, i can say we became friends? but most of our conversations are gossip about her classmates. you would be surprised by how much i know about middle school kids i've never seen in my life."
"not quite," you shook your head. "i knew she's your sister and i didn't want you to know, so i just told her i had a crush on someone and i didn't know how to start conversations. she's cute. she wanted to start a secret mission for me to approach you." you frowned, realizing something. "what's wrong with you guys and planning? why does everything have to be a super secret mission?"
mike laughed. and you thought that was the cutest sound you've ever heard in your whole life.
you really wanted to hold his hand, but you shook your head at the thought and looked at the other side with your arms crossed and your cheeks slightly pink.
"whatever you're doing, it's working. whether it is a plan or not.” you were about to say ‘cause i like you, by the way’ but that’d be too much for your nervous system.
after saying that, you decided to change the conversation’s topic to a debate on what to do or where to go. it was a date, yes, but there was no plan at all.
funny for a person who always has a plan under his sleeve to not have a plan. but in mike’s defense, you said you were going to decide what to do today.
so his heart did a weird twist when you admitted you didn’t know where to go. that’s not how he’ve imagined his first date with you.
he had never imagined it'd be possible for him to go on a date with you in the first place.
regardless of what you told him, you did have a plan, but it’d be too awkward to admit out loud, that you took all of your savings because you wanted to go to the lake and rent a mini boat for the both of you.
that’d be too much? you didn’t want him to think that maybe you were doing too much, that you were that obsessed with him or something.
so the best card to play was to be nonchalant.
"what about renting a boat and paddling out ot the middle of a lake." you suggested, and after looking at his confused gaze, you added. "my parents gave me some money, i think we can afford it."
mike nodded with a shy smile on his face. he couldn’t believe you were doing that, he couldn’t even believe you confessed to him in the first place you were so bright, so cool, so amazing, so stunning, beautiful, kind.
and he was just him. just mike.
as he watched you getting on the boat and inviting him to do the same, he couldn’t help but admire you.
he’s been admiring you from afar for months now, and even though he couldn’t believe any of this, there was something he knew for sure.
you were even prettier up close, like a diamond. you shined from afar, so much that everyone could recognize you even if they were miles away, but the brightness and his excitement increased when he got closer to you.
mike regretted not talking to you before. as someone who's known for being brave, he has been such a coward when it comes to you. he couldn't even behave properly whenever you were near, he didn't know how to not seem too interested, so he just gave you cold looks instead. cold looks he couldn't even control at the time.
he's been playing safe. mike's really good at taking risks, he could even jump off a cliff if that means a friend of him would stop from getting bullied.
but he had to play safe now, so he just opened his mouth to say "the weather's nice."
you smiled. "yeah... it is."
then silence. kind of awkward silence.
you tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear, regretting it immediately because you don't know what to do with your hair, and you also don't know how you look with a strand of your hair behind your ear. maybe mike wouldn't notice those things, but what if he does? what if tucking a strand of hair behind your ear shows how nervous someone is? what if that's a signal? or worse, what if that's a secret code that lets the soviets know that someone's a secret spy and they come after you at this exact same moment?
what if. what if. what if.
it's not like you could stand up and say "i'm going to the bathroom," no, and it's not like you wanted to escape, but you didn't know how to handle conversations either.
and for someone who's known (actually not, but you've been spying on him enough to make assumptions) for being really talkative, mike was so quiet.
then you remembered that boring book your dad bought you once when you were starting middle school and you were afraid of not having any friends. it compiled a bunch of small talk prompts. you remember how pissed off he was when you laughed after reading their "socializing tips," saying you'll never use something like that.
"have you ever been arrested?"
maybe saying the first thing you remembered wasn't the best idea.
mike tilted his head in confusion and chuckled a little, that made you shake your head and explain yourself. "no, no. i'm not trying to check your criminal record or something like that. i just- oh god. my dad gave me a book that gave tips to make friends. it was like socializing for dummies or something. small talk is not really my thing to be honest."
he tried to stifle a laugh, but eventually failed.
at least he was laughing.
god. you were so nervous. if anyone saw you being like this they wouldn't believe this version of you actually exists.
“but i want to talk to you though. i just– i don’t know how to– uhm…” you were fidgeting with the sleeves of your sweater while trying to keep eye contact, then cleared your throat. “you. uhm… tell me more about you. dustin told me you’re good at storytelling. and that– uhm.” you hesitated, stumbling into your own words. “uhm. you’re the best at it, especially when it comes to d&d sessions.”
his face expression changed immediately from the excitement he felt.
“uh… yeah.” he gave you a shy grin. “i don’t know if you know it but there’s this club at school that’s called–”
“the hellfire club.” you interrupted him mid sentence, surprising him. “oh. uhm– sorry i interrupted. i– i guess. shit. i just got a little excited i think? i’ve never played d&d before but you guys look so cool.”
“you… you knew about us?”
“of course i do.” you smiled as you started to row. you found funny (and ironic) that he wasn't not even a little close to be aware of how much you were watching him. you immediately felt like a creep after that thought. “i knew it existed the minute you guys joined it. i remember seeing you with that t-shirt at school one day. your hair was longer back then. you were walking down the hallway, and you passed by my side. you looked really good by the way. really cool.”
it surprised him. he joined the club a while ago, he didn’t even remember how it was.
but that happened way before he knew you existed.
well, he knew who you were. of course. everyone did. but he wasn’t attracted to you at that time. not even to mention that he didn't like you because you were popular, and he hated popular kids.
and you knew about him? this whole time?
mike had spent the whole morning overthinking things. he showered two times and he changed his outfit too many times to the point where he can't even count, he stole his mother's fashion magazines to look at what was trendy nowadays, then eventually discarded the idea, because he wouldn't feel like himself. and he didn't want to be somebody else if he's having the chance of being known by you.
he has been insanely aware of everything since he saw you at his front door. from the way you talk to the way you walk, and anything else. he just didn't want you to feel bored, or worse, he didn't want you to leave because of how much awkward this date could be. he already picture the worse-case scenarios, so his mind started to plan what he's gonna say and what he should or shouldn't respond to anything you say.
he has also been hyper aware of how he has been behaving. he's been analyzing the way he's been seated since you both got into that boat, with his mind full of doubts about how his posture should be. and how would you react to anything he says.
life is like a chessboard, like a big board game. with that said, he prepared himself for every given scenario that might happen in the future.
however, he never thought about the past, because there's no way you were part of it. yet the fact that you knew about him changed his whole perspective of things, and it embarrassed him a little because now he thinks about every awkward situation of his that you could've been aware of. he knows that the chances of that happening are extremely low, that knowing someone's existence is not the same as paying attention to them, so that comforted him a little. but still.
he just hoped you hadn't seen him being cringy.
"oh?" you interrupted his thoughts, your voice sounded soft. "is that bad?"
"no, no, no. i just... i was surprised."
"oh." your cheeks were surprisingly red. "well, tell me more then. i've never played dungeons and wagons before."
"it's dragons." he clarified, a little hesitant. usually he'd feel offended and he would reply with a shitty tone if someone else said that, because why would someone mistake dragons for wagons? but since it's you, he's okay with it. everybody makes mistakes. "the game is basically about heroes exploring underground labyrinths, that's the dungeons, to fight monsters, those are the dragons."
"and why don't they travel by wagons?"
you didn't know much about the game, that was a fact, but you wanted to see his reaction to you teasing him.
"because. well, the word dungeons comes from latin, 'dominus' which means master or lord."
"and why don't these masters travel by wagons? why do they have to use dragons?"
"no, they don't use dragons and they don't travel by wagons, there's no wagon in the game."
"oh wait. but aren't dungeons literally cells underground? i don't get it."
mike sighed, he was starting to lose his patience. "yes, but the word dungeon originated from the old french word donjon, which refers to the commanding tower of a castle, rather than an underground prison. i don't know how but it eventually shifted to mean prison."
"and what does wagons have to do with all of this?"
you looked at him, unconvinced, and intimidating enough to keep him going.
"well i guess it is because wagons are too big to fit in a castle."
"but castles are big. rich people can make things fit if they want to. if kings wanted to, they would."
"and why do they kill dragons? i don't understand. dragons are cute."
"have you ever seen a dragon?"
he didn't reply. mike's gaze diverted to the water. it started to feel a little frustrating.
"they don't kill just dragons. i told you they also kill-"
"okay but they shouldn't kill dragons, they are cute, mike. are you okay with people killing cute things?" you asked offended, as if you never expected him to commit a felony.
mike started to grumble a little, he just couldn't understand how you couldn't understand something so simple as-
"mike i was joking." you smirked, and then a bright smile appeared on your face. "i think it's cute to see you mad though."
he blushed, embarrassed. for a minute he thought you really didn't understand it.
perhaps the pedestal he put you on was so high he couldn't even imagine you mocking him.
"maybe we should rent a wagon next time."
"and you guys kissed?" robin leaned in while pointing the remote control towards you as if it was a mic.
you held your pillow and shook your head, looking past her. you could feel the heat growing in your cheeks.
"what. i didn't even know how to act. i was nervous."
"y/n, you've done this before. it's not like you've never been on a date before."
"i know. but... this is different." you hugged the pillow tighter while settling on the cushions. "i think i really like him. this is crazy."
steve, whom you forgot was sitting on the floor in front of the couch, joined the conversation. "and you said it was impossible–"
"oh come on, steve just shut up." you threw a cushion at him. he caught it.
"please. if it weren't for me, you guys wouldn't even be together."
"we're not together, together." you remarked, but it wasn't enough to wipe the smile off his face. "stop acting like you're a matchmaker, you literally blackmailed me into confessing to him."
before he could reply, robin said. "the fact that you didn't kiss him is crazy." she raised her brows. "you were on a lake. you literally used up your whole savings to rent a small boat. not to mention you lied to him about it, telling him our parents gave you some money so he wouldn't feel guilty."
"damn. imagine doing all that for a boy." steve took a scoop of his ice cream. "no one wonders who was the guy that made all of that possible."
"well, today was nice." you ignored steve's words. "the boat thing was a little white lie, yes, but it's okay," you shrugged. "and don't look at me like that. things will be good from now on."
"and what else happened juliet?" steve asked as he ate his ice cream. "we're not gathering here just for you to tell us you went to a lake."
"remind me why are we friends again?" you rolled your eyes and stood up to grab the cushions you threw before from the floor, just to throw them again, this time straight at his head. but just as he did before, he caught them now. "we didn't gather just for me to tell you that i went to a lake with michael, dummy. you know it's friday. did you already forget the plot of sixteen candles? or can't buy me love?"
how hypocritical of you to say that, you were the one who didn't pay attention to the movies the three of you watched today just because your brain kept replaying every moment with michael.
regardless of how much you loved the friendly-mocking-sibling dynamic you had with steve and how much you enjoyed mocking him, you stopped to tell them about how your afternoon went. everything. or almost everything? there weren't things to hide from them anyway, but maybe they were right about the kissing part.
however, both you and michael were awkward people, so none of you making the first move was something really expected. you barely made it alive without embarrassing yourself.
that's something you kept to yourself, you didn't want them to know how insecure you were about all of that, how you were afraid to mess things up and to embarrass yourself in front of the boy that you like.
especially because they know michael. robin doesn't know him that much, but steve literally does, he was part of the party's plan after all. so, it'd be 10 times more embarrassing if you told them about how nervous he makes you feel. you already picture steve raising a brow with a smirk on his face.
despite your nerves, you couldn't deny that everything went well. both of you were loosening up a little. mike told you a lot of things about him that just made you feel more and more attracted to him and more curious to know who was him under all the layers that compose his persona.
you were afraid of him getting to know you better, because you feared he might eventually reject you.
two weeks had passed since that awkward date, and mike wasn't doing well. you've been talking more as time passed, you even reached out to him.
however, he couldn't stop himself from being anxious, from doubting and overthinking every single moment you've spent together.
it all started the minute the date ended, you were giggling, and even though he couldn't stop thinking about you on the way home, replaying everything he said, did, and every movement he made, his heart felt a little lighter for a moment.
you gave him your home phone number, along with the times he could call. your parents and your sister were a bit nosy and you knew they'd pick up another line just to listen to your conversations.
he was excited, but that didn't last.
he called you during those hours, more than once, but you never picked up. he didn't hear from you for the whole weekend. yes, it might have been two days. but it was two days where his heart was beating faster than it was supposed to, and his stomach was aching. and mike just didn't want to go to your house. he felt like he'd bother you.
that just made him replay the date over and over in his head like a broken record. and he kept finding more and more mistakes every time he did.
did he fuck things up? he could tell. there were a lot of things he did wrong that day.
two days didn't look like much. except for dustin, who was already bored of hearing "y/n, y/n, y/n" every. single. time.
"why don't you just go to her house?"
"no. that's not the plan." mike replied, making dustin roll his eyes. "she's going to reject me. and she'll tell me i was stupid for thinking i had a chance with her."
dustin let out a big sigh, not really caring about mike's complaints anymore. he was reading a comic. "not everything has to be a plan."
"says the guy who started the plan." mike was hyperventilating. "if it weren't for you none of this would be happening and i wouldn't be feeling like i'm going to die at any given time just because the girl i'm deeply obsessed with doesn't like me back."
dustin sighed and turned the page, actively deciding to not reply to mike's words, that would throw him into a wormhole he wouldn’t be able to escape.
so mike sat beside max (who was already annoyed just by the fact of having him by her side, she knew where this was going) and complained to her the whole afternoon.
later that day, you ran to his house, trying not to desperately ring the bell a thousand times. it was already 10pm, and the idea of his mother looking at you like you were crazy, or worse, holly opening the door again and seeing you that desperate wasn't endearing at all.
his older sister opened the door, and, in fact, she gave you a worried look as she saw you with your hands on your knees while gasping for air. "hey. is everything okay?"
you nodded, trying to put yourself together. this was embarrassing.
you, a person who can't get out of her house at night because of the fear that something might happen, ran all over hawkins (it wasn't that much, but enough to make you feel like you were having a cardiac arrest) just to see a boy who might not even have called you, just to explain why you were absent for two days.
this situation was humbling.
you thought about going back to your house and saving yourself from this embarrassing moment, but nancy wheeler was already in front of you.
she was intimidating. nancy knew who you were, of course. she might have seen you once or twice as you were hanging out with steve and robin all the time. but she didn't even remember your name.
she raised a brow and you made eye contact with her. neither of you said anything for a few seconds. and the moment already started to feel uncomfortable.
"uh– is mike here by any chance?"
her expression changed to something you couldn't quite define. did she know that mike has a crush on you? you hoped so.
the worse scenario was that she hated you.
"sure." she opened the door. "he's in his room. you can go if you want."
you went up the stairs, your breathing was still ragged even though you weren't gasping for air anymore. your heart was beating harder and every step you took made your legs feel heavier.
when you were finally on the second floor, you felt stupid.
you didn't know where mike's room was. should you go down stairs to ask nancy?
no. that'd be embarrassing.
after what felt like a lifetime, you heard nancy behind your back, muttering "second door on the right."
you turned quickly, your face heating up. "right... thanks. i– i wasn't sure."
she gave you a small nod, like she'd expected this, before heading back downstairs.
now you were in front of his door, your heart was about to explode.
you knocked and when you heard his yelled "come in" you knew it was time to go in.
mike was seated crisscrossed on his bed with a book in his hands, and his face expressions already told you that he wasn't expecting this. was he mad? you thought so. no, he wasn't, just a little surprised. and maybe concerned.
but before he could open his mouth, you closed his door and stepped forward so fast that he felt a little intimidated when he saw you in front of him.
you were going to say something, but he spoke first. "y/n? what are you doing here? it's late."
was he mad? you couldn't tell if he was mad or not. he was giving you a weird look.
"listen," you sat down crisscrossed on his bed, as far away from him as possible. you didn't want to make him feel uncomfortable. "i came here as fast as i could because i didn't want you to see me tomorrow at school after a whole weekend without hearing from me and thinking that i've been ignoring you. i just had a family trip to california to visit my grandparents and it literally came out of nowhere. i don't know if you called me, but i'm sorry."
mike raised his brows in surprise.
he spent his whole weekend thinking about you and blaming himself for not being interesting enough. making scenarios in his head where you tell him you didn't like the date, and he was boring.
he wasted every breath, and all of his words ranting to his friends about it. they were tired of him.
he even called lucas on the radio every hour, being so persistent with his "lucas, do you copy?" that his friend eventually had to switch channels.
but he never expected this.
“are you mad at me?” you leaned closer hesitantly. just a little closer. “i don’t know if you called. the first thing i did after i got out of the car was run to your house because i wanted to see you.”
"uh..." he hesitated. what could he say in a moment like this? the truth? "no. i'm not mad. just a little surprised because..."
i thought you didn't like me and you wanted me away from your life.
"i don't know. maybe you wanted your space or something."
you blushed a little and looked away, slightly embarrassed. that's when you started paying attention to every detail of his room. there were so many things that were so him, his essence was everywhere, it even smelled like him, something you hadn't noticed before given how urgent it had been for you to talk to him and the adrenaline running through your body.
you were surprised to realize how tidy it was. it's not like he'd told you beforehand, but maybe once (or twice. or maybe a few times) when you were spying on them, you heard lucas mention something about mike needing to clean his room urgently.
and the truth is, he spent his whole weekend so caught up thinking about you that he eventually ran out of things to do, and ended up cleaning just to calm down.
"and i called, by the way." he clarified, taking you away from your trance. "i called like a dozen times." mike shut himself up for two seconds, realizing what he just said. "i mean, no. i called sometimes but not a dozen times. i wasn't that desperate. i mean, i just thought that you didn't want to talk so i stopped. i didn't want to bother you."
you looked back at him, the nervousness in your body slipped away from you for a minute.
"to be honest, i just wanted you to call me." you confessed, making eye contact with him while leaning a little bit closer without even realizing you were doing it. and he didn't realize about it either. "i wanted to call you to tell you where i was but i don't have your number. it was so frustrating."
“shit.” he almost laughed. “i’m sorry.”
“don’t be.” you shook your head. “just give me your phone number so i can call you.”
“i’m really sorry.” you confessed. you almost said that you missed him, that you wanted to talk to him every single time. but that would make you sound so desperate.
"so… are we good, then?" he asked nervously.
"yeah." you took a deep breath, then exhaled. "we're good."
both of you went silent. you could see his nervousness through his expression as you tried to keep your heart from bursting. he was thinking something. there was something on his mind that you wish you’d know about.
and suddenly, you realized how close you are to him. when did that happen? and most importantly, how?
the room was getting smaller as you made eye contact.
mike wasn’t doing any better. he knew he should say something, he was just too focused on looking at your face, admiring every aspect of it while a hint of electricity ran through his body.
he saw every inch of your face, from your eyes to your nose, the shape of your eyebrows, and the color of your eyes. your cheeks were slightly pink, a color mike had begun to think was naturally yours, given how often they’d been like that lately.
the ones he’s been dreaming of kissing.
his eyes lingered on them more than he’d wanted them to.
you did the same. your eyes were drifting from his eyes to his lips.
for a second, just a tiny fragment of a second, you truly thought it could happen. you began to lean in slowly, painfully slowly and carefully, toward him. every movement was so cautious, as if you were stepping through a minefield and any second something could explode.
you were testing the waters.
he was going to kiss you.
as much as you wanted to kiss him.
it was going to happen, finally.
everything felt so slow, every movement was more painful than the other. your own heartbeat couldn’t let you hear how his own was about to explode.
how much it was beating for you.
your lips were about to touch, he closed his eyes, and you did that too, you were about to put your arm on his shoulder to get him closer to you.
you almost got it. you were so, so god damn close.
until a knock on the door broke it, and that alone made you pull away instantly, putting as much distance as possible between you as you sat at the opposite end of the bed, back stiff and straight.
is not like mike felt bad about it and acted differently, because he was just as shaken as you were. it felt like being caught at the scene of a crime.
“come in.” he cleared his throat.
“hi.” mike’s mom smiled as she opened the door. “i just wanted to ask if your friend wants to stay for dinner. it’s late and you must be hungry.”
“oh…” you replied in disbelief, with your gaze going straight to mike.
you were about to kiss her son. jesus, you really wanted to kiss her son, you were secretly begging for it.
and mike thought that was the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to him.
three months had passed since that day. neither of you spoke a word about it, no one was that brave enough to take the initiative to do something like that.
but you were always together.
not like always always in a strict sense of the word, however, you spent most of your time together as if it were a routine.
he liked you, you liked him, and you both knew that. everyone knew that at this point.
so why was nothing happening?
you picked him up after every hellfire club meeting, and mike walked you home, that was his favorite part of the day, the one he looked forward to the most. he even used to sneak in as a spectator to your chemistry club meetings every saturday morning, not doing anything but sitting in the back and watching whatever you guys were working on. until, at some point, he stopped doing that and started sitting next to you. your classmates would joke that he'd been 'promoted' in his role as a fan, going from being part of the background to getting closer and closer to actually participating.
they didn't really mind him being there doing nothing, and it's not like they could say much about it anyway, you were the leader of the group after all.
and mike didn't mind waking up early on weekends if it meant being with you and getting to see you being so happy in your natural habitat. he loved being part of your life, and he also loved that, little by little, you were becoming more and more part of his.
but nothing was happening between you two. you were getting closer every day, but it felt like there was a big wall between you two that was so damn hard to knock down.
maybe it wasn't meant to be that way. maybe that's all you could ever be.
it seemed like you were nothing but really good friends.
and you didn't know what to think about that. you were too shy to make a move, and he wasn't making many moves either, to the point that you started to feel that maybe he didn't like you anymore.
it was always like that, people used to idealize you and as soon as they knew you... they realized you just weren’t that interesting.
did that happen to him too?
it was better to settle for that thought, instead of daydreaming about things that would never happen.
it felt like every detail confirmed your point, that his feelings had changed, or maybe you were just looking too hard into this.
but how couldn’t you? you stayed at his house last night, after your mandatory movie night with robin, and you felt how things were changing.
were they really changing though? or was just your brain trying to trick you?
it all started at dinner, when holly asked you if you could pass her the ketchup bottle. even though it made no sense, mike tried to help you, and your hands touched.
holly didn’t flinch, nor did she say a word about it or make the usual facial expressions she used to make when she found out about you.
she used to tease mike until his ears were red, but not anymore. it felt like she just took your presence for granted, like it was something that was just there, like every other normal thing on her normal days and not like you’re her ‘brother’s almost-girlfriend’
even things with nancy started to feel different. things were chill now.
nancy was chill though, things had always been good with her. you were the one who felt intimidated by her, but it was just because she looked so mature and amazing that you didn’t want to ruin things.
but now it felt like things weren’t that special anymore. they went from flattering whenever you and mike’s eyes intertwined to just pretending it was normal.
you've spent too much time staring at the ceiling of his basement while replaying every recent interaction with him, because you couldn't sleep that night with all the thoughts running through your mind. what's even worse and what fed your anxiety was that there was even a soft spot for you to sleep in his basement whenever you were staying at his house. mike got an inflatable mattress for you to sleep there, and it was so damn comfortable.
of course he can do that in a friendly way.
but you wish there was something else.
the next morning was extremely rushed, both of you overslept. if it hadn't been for the sound of mike's footsteps (rushing down the basement stairs to wake you, breathless and frantic) you probably would've been late to your chemistry club meeting.
fortunately, you made it on time, but you were running late without any time to even exchange a few words with him.
he knew there was something wrong, but he brushed it aside because he assumed it was probably because you were almost late, and you can't be late because you hate it when your peers do that. still, after nearly three straight hours of doing nothing but going back and forth over a reaction mechanism and trying to figure out why the reaction wasn't working, he knew something was off.
especially when he looked at you while you were writing on the board, and noticed the way you barely reacted to the jokes one of your friends threw at you. he knew that under any other circumstances you would've laughed about it while challenging her back. but now it felt like there was something about you that wasn't quite right.
"thank you very much guys!" you grabbed your backpack while looking at mike, as if you were waiting for him to nod before you guys left. "make sure to work on this. i'll see you next saturday."
and with that, you left the classroom with mike by your side. you crossed your arms, feeling the cold air the minute you stepped outside.
thankfully, mike's sweater was comfortable enough to keep you from freezing.
you were walking together without speaking a word, and you knew that it was because of you. you weren't ignoring him, but there was something about you that made him feel like you didn't want to talk, that you weren't receptive to having a conversation right now.
it was because your mind kept lingering on the thought of what you guys exactly were, and whether it was possible for your relationship to move forward instead of being as static as it was right now.
it made you anxious. you've spent the last two days thinking that he just wasn't into you anymore.
nothing could pull you out of the thought that was running inside of your mind. nothing. until you heard mike's voice saying "it was a cool morning. i think i'm finally getting what this hard level of chemistry is all about."
mike was good at chemistry, but the things you worked on in your club were so complex that they were actually hard to follow unless you'd spent a considerable amount of time studying them.
you sighed, tired. "yes, it was. i'm glad you're getting it now."
mike stopped walking. you did the same.
he was just there, static, confused, but most importantly, hurt.
to a point that it was hard for you to understand.
"what's going on?" he asked in confusion. "you've been weird all morning. i dare to say you've been acting weird since thursday."
"what? no, mike. nothing's going on." you paused.
having his eyes on you right now was something so hard to deal with, you had to close yours.
then you opened them, ready to face it.
"nothing's going on and i think that is the problem."
he shook his head. "i don't get it."
"you don't have to." you replied tired. "sorry. i'm just being dramatic. i just think it's weird. how a while ago you said you liked me, and how i like you too. so much, to a point that i think it’s not sane, and i'm glad that we're friends now because you are my favorite person in the world and nothing makes my day more than spending it with you. but..."
"but?" he asked carefully.
"nothing. it’s just that nothing happens between us and i think i'm tired. i just- i just know you don't like me anymore-"
"who said that i don't like you?"
"yes, but... i think we're going nowhere."
"god, mike. we haven't even kissed yet." you snapped.
"you want me to kiss you?" mike was more and more confused, but you took that as an offensive.
"yes!" you yelled, loud. so, so loud. and immediately regretted it.
why did you say that? you couldn't believe those words had just come out of your lips. what if he says no? is he going to run away? or maybe tell you, very politely, that he doesn't want to?
you were so nervous, so much you could feel your whole body burn, hyper-aware of the fabric of your clothes against your skin. and the look he was giving you wasn't helping at all, it made your heartbeat race.
his mind hovered somewhere between going blank and rushing all at once, trying to figure out if you really meant it. every neuron in his brain seemed to fire at the same time, either to process what you'd said or to somehow figure out how to kiss you.
suddenly, everything had gone quiet, as if the world had narrowed down to just the space between you and him.
he leaned in slowly, so painfully slowly, like the way you had leaned back in his room a few months ago. even though your chest rose and fell like it might give out at any second, you just couldn't stop staring at his lips.
he paused just for a second, like he was giving you time to pull away.
it was a gentle press of the lips at first, so innocent it was almost chaste. he was unconsciously asking for your approval, and then you gasped, caught off guard.
and that was enough for him to cup your cheek with one hand and place the other on your waist as he pulled you tight to his chest. it felt like the excitement someone has when visiting a new place for the first time, like a scientist who had just found a new discovery. it felt so unfamiliar, but also, your lips were a place he wanted to stay forever.
your skin was soft, nothing compared to the fireworks you could feel inside your body. nothing more than him existed right now. you could die today and it wouldn't matter, your life was pure bliss. this made every negative thought fade from your mind, dimming the overwhelming emotions that had been running through you for the last days.
you weren't sure of how long the kiss was, it just felt like riding a rollercoaster, a pure dose of quick adrenaline. nothing more.
and when it stopped, the feeling stopped too, leaving you with nothing but pure confusion, unable to react or process all of this.
it was too much. too much, you took two steps back after the kiss. mike saw your face, there was no expression on it. it was like medusa got you petrified, you were completely frozen.
he took that as a rejection. you didn't like it. you didn't even react to his kiss, and you had no facial expression whatsoever. it felt like, for a moment, the gates of heaven had opened just for him, only to shut just as he was about to witness all the beauty that lay within. like god had cruelly cast him out of paradise and now he was falling, straight toward hell.
and the worst part was, the silence was stretching too long.
"sorry." he started. it was pointless to apologize for something you literally asked him for, but he didn't anyway. "i just wanted to do this for so lo–"
"can we do that again?" you interrupted.
you gave him a wide smile and wrapped your arms around his neck. he still likes you. "mike. i think that... this is not going to work if we are both shy. i guess someone has to do something."
mike blushed, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning a little closer to you. it wasn't that much, but it was enough.
"i– i don't understand." he pulled you closer as you started to slowly run your fingers through his hair. "did you like the kiss?"
"the right question is why wouldn't i like it." you tilted your head a little. "i did. a lot, actually."
"but you weren't reacting."
you looked past him, with the heat growing through your cheeks. "that's because i didn't expect that." you paused, and then immediately clarified. "no– no. don't get me wrong. it's not like i didn't want you to kiss me though. i– i did. i really wanted to kiss you since our first date, don't think otherwise because i really wanted you to–"
"oh god." you gasped. and he did it again. you could feel your knees getting weak.
you buried your face in his neck. your cheeks were burning, your lips stretched into a wide smile. the feeling of his arms wrapped around you, of your senses filled with nothing but his scent, made you feel like you were drunk in love. you really wanted to stay there forever. that was where you were meant to be. that was your place.
and everything felt even better the moment you heard him say your name.
every inch of his brain got into a heated debate about whether he should or should not do this. mike's a brave guy, he's always the bigger person who's willing to help everyone he cares about. however, every little thing related to you wrapped him in a blanket of shyness and insecurity. the only thing running through his mind was the thought that he'd be rejected, because for a long time, he believed you came from different worlds, that it was impossible for your lives to ever cross at any point.
but that wasn't true, and you approached him, even though he always tried to avoid you due to his insecurities. even though he kept sabotaging himself, and even now he's still surprised that you're here.
god. you even asked him to kiss you. but something in him couldn't believe it. something deep inside felt like none of this fit, like it could all vanish at any moment, or that both of you would go back to how things used to be. him being just a normal boy, with a normal life, and you being completely out of reach, loved by absolutely everyone.
someone who would never look at him.
but no. that wasn't the case, and the two of you fit together so well. he realized that over time. no matter how much fear ran through his body, no matter how scared he was, another part of him was collecting every moment you'd shared over the past few months. the way there were jokes only the two of you understood, the little routine you built after school, the phone calls mike knew holly or his mom could be listening to from another line in the house, the afternoons where you did nothing but stay wrapped up together on the couch, or even him joining your and robin's friday movie nights like clockwork. you shared the same opinions, and part of him felt like you'd become a team.
he enjoyed the dynamic he was becoming part of so much that he was terrified of losing it.
mike had always thought that the so-called popular kids at school were basically bullies who had absolutely nothing in their heads. no aspirations. no thoughts. absolutely fucking nothing. he'd always hated them, and he couldn't even change his mind when lucas openly showed his desire to join the basketball team.
nothing was enough to change his mind, until you happened. you were none of that. you were not even close to any of the preconceived ideas he had about people like you.
you broke the mold he's been carefully constructing since he was in middle school, and made him think that maybe, just maybe, cheerleaders and basketball players weren't evil.
mike wanted you more than he ever imagined was possible. for a minute he thought he was idealizing you and every shared moment, but the more time passed and the more he got to know you, the stronger his feelings for you became.
he wanted to be with you. he'd spent months of his life feeling insecure, expecting the worst, convincing himself you'd never know him, that you'd laugh at the thought of him.
now he knows how wrong he was. there's a mix of regret and a lingering feeling that he wishes he had done things differently, had given himself that push, a pat on the back that would’ve encouraged him to actually talk to you, and made him realize that none of what he thought he knew at the time was true.
that you wouldn't reject him.
that you'd feel the same.
things changed by now. mike had grown confident, someone entirely different from the boy you were with on the boat a few months ago. all the fear and anxiety he used to feel at the thought of getting close to you, or even looking at your face, had gone completely. now, all he wanted was to be near you. to be with you.
he's not afraid to love you.
so when he kissed you again, and you looked at him, with nothing but amusement in your eyes, he knew he had to do it.
"can i be your boyfriend?"
