Hiiii I loved your Change story! I was wondering if you can do something as well for Haechan? Like an actual story for him as a prince? I would love to read it! It's okay if you don't want to, I hope you're staying safe and healthy
Hello! Thank you for the wishes, I hope you’re healthy and safe as well. I’m so sorry for the late reply cause I just opened my account after being away for quite some time. I’d love to make one for Haechan. Although, it’ll probably take some time as I’m nearing my finals. I hope you don’t mind waiting for a while. I promise to post it as soon as I can. Thank you for the request ❤.
Summary: An arranged marriage is formed between the Prince of the Lee Kingdom and the Princess of the Kim Kingdom. The Prince doesn’t bother with the Princess and distances himself from her. The Princess, however, keeps trying until a particular incident has both of them realizing their true feelings.
Relationship: Lee Jeno x reader
Genre: prince!au, angst, fluff
Warnings: Mild Violence, Mentions of Character Death, Cursing
Word Count: 9.9k
You glance at the sky through the open window of the royal carriage, admiring the blue hue that's slightly covered by white clouds; the scenery calming the anxiety building up inside of you. Vaguely, you can hear birds chirping from the distance as they fly away in the sky, their destination uncertain.
You wish you could be free like them. You wish you could spread your wings and allow the wind to take you, a destination that doesn’t require the responsibilities that you currently uphold. Because frankly, you’re tired and you wish you can run away from the burden weighed upon your shoulders; to become a person worthy of the title princess.
The burden has been placed on you by your parents since you were merely five. Your relationship with your family can’t quite be called a relationship. Aside from your sister, your parents have treated you like the dirt on the bottom of their shoe.
They’ve always been rather harsh with you, opting to let the royal nurse raise you and keeping you away from the usual routine a child has. You’ve had the mannerisms and behavior of princess beaten into you, yet you’re still unable to meet up to their expectations.
It’s a public secret of the kingdom but the reason why they're relentless with you is because when your parents tried for another child, they wished they'd be blessed with a boy to continue the bloodline of the royal Kim family. But their hopes were crushed when they found out you were a girl.
In the palace, you’re avoided by your parents, barely seeing them once a week as you carry out your daily routine. And for the most part, you’re glad because all they do is compare you to your perfect older sister, someone who you can’t hate no matter how much you wish to.
Because she is the one person who stayed by your side for all these years, the person you love more than anything in this world. She’s always had a soft spot for you, sneaking cookies in late in the night when the both of you were supposed to be asleep and reading bedtime stories for you when you were old enough to read and write.
But she left two years ago, having arranged to marry the crown prince of the Seo Kingdom, Prince Johnny, when she turned eighteen. She often writes to you about her life there and how she misses you, often mentioning how she wished you could have come with her. You always make sure to write back, a promise you’re willing to keep for the rest of your life.
After your sister had left, your parents have paid a little more attention to you, specifically to make sure that you’re polished enough to be married off to another royal. Despite your mother’s obvious distaste in you, the one thing about you that satisfies her is your beauty.
During royal balls, many men of status have asked your hand for a dance. Your mother takes joy in the fact and doesn't hesitate to arrange a marriage for you the moment you turned seventeen.
And now, you're off to be married to the crown prince of the Lee Kingdom.
All too soon, you reach the grounds of the Lee Castle and you pray to God that your parents change their mind. But as always, your prayers remain unheard.
"Remember Y/N, be on your best behavior," your father reminds you with a stern glare just before the guard opens the carriage door, bowing at your father as he steps out before reaching in to help your mother down. He reaches in again and offers you a hand, to which you hesitate for a bit before giving up and exiting the carriage.
You're anxious, palms covered in cold sweat and a tugging feeling at the pit of your stomach. Hesitantly, you walk to your father's side, standing beside him just as the front door of the Royal House of Lee opens.
The King and Queen step out and calmly make their way towards you. When they reach, both them and your parents bow at each other with you following suit.
They each shake hands before the Queen reaches over to you.
"My! What a beautiful daughter you have here," the Queen gushes as she strokes your cheek with a smile. You blush in abashment before smiling with a little “thank you.”
Your parents laugh in delight, pleased that you met up to her expectations.
"She's got good manners too, she'll be welcomed here," the King lets out a loud laugh, eyes turned to crescents.
"Come on in, your Highnesses," the Queen says as she gently grabs your hand before walking into the castle. You oblige, letting her drag you along to the dining hall.
When you walk inside, you see a long table that is used for dining and you couldn't help but admire the interior decor of the room when something caught your eye.
You notice a man outside in the courtyard practicing archery. He's dressed in the royal uniform with his platinum blonde hair styled back, you guess him to be the crown prince. He's definitely tall and handsome, muscular too, and oozes the royalty aura. However, you've learned never to judge a book by its cover so you can only pray that he has a good personality.
The Queen chuckles at your curious gaze. "That, my dear, is the person you'll be marrying soon. His name is Jeno, my first born son."
She calls out to a guard then, "Please inform Prince Jeno to return inside for lunch and call Prince Haechan as well."
"Yes, your Highness," the guard bows and quickly leaves to the courtyard.
"Please, sit down," the King gestures to your parents and once they sit down, you follow suit.
The King makes small talk with your father and you don't bother to listen to it, knowing exactly well it's about how the politics of the kingdoms will play out after your marriage.
The King sits at the head of the table with your father on his right and the Queen on his left. Your mother sits beside your father and you sit next to her, a little unsettled.
Moments later, Prince Jeno and another young man, who you assume is Prince Haechan, appear. The Queen calmly beckons them over and after they greet you and your parents, they each take a seat with Prince Haechan across your mother while Prince Jeno sits across you.
He doesn't bother hiding his annoyance, a scowl resting on his handsome features as he stares at you. You duck your head down to look at your intertwined fingers, your once small appetite having vanished completely.
Despite having been treated harshly for years, you're still too soft and emotional which is why you don't dare to look him in the eye even when his gaze bores into your soul.
"Now, Jeno, darling, this is Princess Y/N from the Kim Kingdom," the Queen introduces you to him, having sensed the slight tension. "She's the one who you'll be marrying. Isn't she a pretty thing?"
Jeno scoffs under his breath, it might not have been heard by the other occupants of the room but with his brother sitting next to him and you sitting across him, the both of you heard it loud and clear.
Haechan subtly elbows him, reminding him of his behavior while you awkwardly smile at the Queen, feigning ignorance to his reaction.
"You speak too highly of me, Your Highness."
She laughs lightly. "I speak nothing but the truth."
"Well then, esteemed guests and family, let us begin the feast," the King announces with a light tap to his glass and the servants come piling in with the first course of the meal.
__________
Once lunch was over, the Kings continued their talk while the Queens discussed about the royal wedding, something you're dreading to happen.
"Jeno, dear, why don't you show Y/N around? She'll be staying with us soon and you should get to know each other better."
Prince Jeno was never the type to refute his mother's orders and even if he was reluctant to carry them out, he still respected her wishes.
He stands up from his seat and gestures for you to do the same. "Very well, mother. I'll take her around."
The Queen smiles at her son while your mother subtly looks into your eye. It's a warning, a reminder that no matter how you wish to be free, you have to appease to the prince and discard your feelings on the matter.
You look away from her and stand up yourself, moving around the table before coming to a stop next to the prince where he holds a hand out for you to take.
"We'll be back soon."
With a curt nod at your parents, Prince Jeno all but drags you outside into the hallway you entered the dining hall through.
Passing through the guards who bow at your presence, he drags you through a number of corridors before reaching a secluded hallway away from prying eyes.
Once he makes sure that no one's there, he lets go of you and steps back, arms crossed tightly on his chest, jaw clenched.
"I take it you're not a fool?"
His question makes you blink up at him, causing him to roll his eyes. "I don't want to get married, even more so to the likes of you."
His words cause an inner turmoil inside you and you have to remind yourself that you're strong just so you don't tear up and embarrass yourself.
"I would ask you to force your parents to arrange a marriage with someone else but even I can tell that they don't really care about you."
His words hit a sore spot within you and you wonder if you're an open book that everyone can read or if he's just especially good at reading people.
"How pathetic. Your own parents don't even want you to the point where they don't hesitate to throw you away to some guy after you're legal."
You stay quiet at his remarks, not trusting your voice to stay composed. But all he's speaking of is the truth because hey, it's the story of your life.
"Can't talk?" Jeno smirks. "Mother shouldn't have agreed for me to wed someone who's mute."
"I'm not mute," you mumble lowly, a habit of yours that's unbecoming of a lady and often puts you in trouble with your parents.
"Thank God for that," he rolls his eyes again with a scoff before walking down the hallway.
You panic at the thought of him leaving you alone, something you've grown to hate due to your parents' mistreatment of you.
"Wait! Where are you going?"
He doesn't bother looking back and continues to walk. "Away from you."
He turns around the corner then and you slightly panic from being left alone in an unfamiliar place.
__________
In the end, after countless times of getting lost and ending up in the same hallway, you come across a royal guard and shyly ask him for help.
His name is Renjun, you learn. He's the crown prince's personal guard but is currently off duty for the afternoon.
He expertly leads you back into the main hallway that leads to the dining hall while you take the time to admire the lovely paintings on the wall that line up the hallways.
"Thank you, Renjun," you smile at him in gratitude and he simply bows to you.
"You're welcome, your Highness."
You take a deep breath in before pushing open the doors and walking into the dining hall again, noticing that Prince Haechan has already left and only your parents are left with the King and Queen.
Your entrance caught their attention and all conversations halt.
The Queen frowns at your appearance with the lack of a certain crown prince.
"Why're you back so soon and alone, dear?"
"Prince Jeno needed to use the bathroom so he hurriedly brought me here before rushing away," you explain with a smile, lying through your teeth and your smile insincere.
"Y/N," your father calls.
"Yes, father?"
"You'll be getting married in a month."
His statement causes your eyes to bulge out in shock. "A month?"
"Yes, and since you need to adjust to your new living conditions, you will stay here."
Now, that is also news to you, bad news at that.
"I thought you said we'll return this evening?"
"The wedding has been brought forth, Y/N. Either you take the time to get adjusted or have difficulties later," your mother cuts in, her tone soft but you could read the true meaning underneath those words.
They want to marry you off as soon as possible. Either you stay here to suffer or you go back home with them to suffer worse. They just don't care.
"As you wish, mother," you respond, careful to not let out a sigh.
Your father gives a tight smile and nods, "Alright then, it's settled."
He turns to the King then. "I trust her in your care."
The King smiles in return. "Of course."
__________
A while after the discussion, the royal carriage arrives and you follow your parents to bid them goodbye, simply for the act. You know they're happy to have you gone.
"Come now, sweetheart," the Queen calls. "I'll bring you to your room."
She leads you in again but this time to the west wing where you'll be staying. She goes up a flight of stairs with you following closely behind her. Walking down another hallway, you try to memorize your surroundings before you reach your destination.
"Here we are, darling."
You peek through the door she's opened and she lets you in first, entering the room seconds later.
It reminds you of your room back home. The grey wallpaper decorating the room matches with the grand ceiling high windows and the king sized bed has been made, fresh sheets adorning the bed. There's also a study table beside the window and a little dining table in the center of the room.
The Queen takes a seat on the bed and pats you to sit beside her.
"Tell me, sweetheart. Did Jeno treat you well?"
You glance at her to see that her eyes have hardened, a grim expression on her face.
You smile tightly at her, "He was nice, your Highness. It's nothing to worry about."
She frowns at your response. "You can't lie to me, sweetheart. Your parents may not bother about your discomfort but I do."
You keep your head down, hands clamming up. "You don't have to worry about it, your Highness. I can handle it myself."
Your response strengthened her evidence but she knows she can't force you.
"I'll have a talk with the Prince, you should settle down for now. A maid will call you down for dinner."
"Thank you, your Highness."
She smiles at you then, a warm and loving smile that you've hardly ever seen on your mother's face and it makes your chest tighten in sadness.
"I'll leave you for now, dear."
You bow at her before she leaves through the open door, softly shutting it behind her.
Glancing around the room, you find a mirror on the wall and decide to take a look at yourself.
Your eyes were droopy with fatigue and the bags under your eyes prominent despite the make-up you were wearing.
You don't look that bad overall and you have a nice figure as well. But your personality is soft and timid, unlike your sister's that's graceful and smart.
Sometimes you wonder if you're adopted but you know the reason you've grown up to be this way is due to the fact that you've never had parental love and care. However, even if you desperately want to voice your opinion and stand up for yourself, you've learned to fear the consequences, harsh punishments that make you quiver in fear every time you think about it.
You lay down in your new bed, dress wrinkled and make up still covering your face.
It dawns on you then that this will be the life you're supposed to lead, get married to a royal who doesn't give a shit about you and live the rest of your life unhappy.
For the first time in a while, you cry. Tears stream down your face as you silently sob, the freedom you've always wished to have now so far out of your reach.
__________
"Princess, wake up," a voice calls out to you with a gentle nudge at your arm and you realize that you'd fallen asleep.
You glance at the person, noting that it was a maid. "My apologies."
"Don't fret, Princess. Dinner will be held in an hour," she kindly informs you. "I've come to clean you up and help you dress."
You nod at her. "Thank you. May I know your name?"
"My name is Yeri, Princess."
"That's a lovely name."
She blushes at your compliment. "But not as beautiful as you."
You chuckle at her, knowing full well that your face is a mess. You can feel the dried tears on your cheek that's no doubt left traces of mascara and your eyes feel puffy. "You're too kind."
"Shall we, Princess?"
You carefully get out of bed and smile at her. "Let's."
__________
The sunlight wakes you up and you shuffle in bed before getting up.
Dinner last night was uneventful and you were relieved to know that the crown prince was occupied and couldn't join for dinner. But at the same time, you're curious and hurt.
Was it because of you? Are you that horrible to be around? Despite how Jeno treated you, you can't hate him.
And that one fault has always been your downfall, you forgive people too easily, which is why you've never found it in you to hate your parents. Even when you know you should.
Since you don't really have anything to do today, you decide to take a stroll around the castle to memorize the place and hopefully not get lost.
You step out of your chambers and walk down the hallway, letting your feet take you wherever they feel like.
You end up in the greenhouse somehow, walking through a path of flowers. It's already springtime and the buds have matured and blossomed into beautiful flowers.
You admire their beauty, fascinated by the variety of flowers and couldn't help to graze your fingers along the delicate petals.
"What're you doing here?" a harsh voice breaks you out of your reverie and you whip to your right to see an angry prince marching towards you.
Instinctively, you draw your hand back and step away from the bed of flowers.
"I was taking a stroll and ended up here," you reply meekly as he stops in front of you, brows furrowed and a deep frown marring his features.
"Don't you know that you shouldn't trespass?"
You look into his eyes. "I didn't mean to."
"Get out."
"But-"
"I said get the fuck out!"
His harsh words coupled with his angry tone have you recoiling in fear and you dart away, not bothering to look back at him.
__________
A week has passed since the incident with Prince Jeno. You've made an effort to avoid him on a day to day basis and ignore his presence during dinners.
Your parents haven't visited at all and don't bother to write you. You know they'll only come on the wedding day for formality and that'll be it.
But the King and Queen aren't all too happy with the lack of progress in your relationship. They've brought it up during dinners and you can only try to assure them that everything will be fine at their own pace.
And now, you're currently in the balcony overlooking the courtyard as Prince Jeno practices his archery. You know you should try to get him to open up but something tells you your effort will be wasted.
"Princess," a soft voice calls out to you and you turn to see that it's Prince Haechan.
"Yes, your Highness?"
He chuckles at your response. "No need to be so formal with me. Just Haechan will do, Princess."
"Then you should drop the formalities with me too," you smile cheekily at him.
He laughs at that. "As you wish."
"Is anything the matter?"
"Nothing at all. I just wanted to get to know my future sister-in-law."
"I'm not an interesting person, you know. There's not much to me."
"I'm sure that's all a lie."
You chuckle. "My brother-in-law wanting to get to know me instead of my husband? That's quite funny."
"Anything's possible. Now, shall we talk over some tea?"
He opens his hand out for you to take and you graciously do so.
"Why not?"
He leads you into his private dining room that's situated in the east wing.
"Does chamomile sound nice?"
"Very."
He smiles at you and claps his hand. A butler comes in a second later with a pot of tea and refreshments.
"Tell me about yourself, Y/N."
You tell him, starting from your birthday, your childhood, your sister and other details excluding your parents.
You learn that he's a year older than you while Prince Jeno is 3 years older than you, the fact making you pleasantly surprised.
"He's naturally a nice and caring person, Y/N. You just need to get to know him better."
You sigh. "How can I? He hates me."
"That's probably not true."
You raise a brow at him. "He's given me the stink eye the moment we met and he doesn't bother to get to know me, preferring to practice his archery."
"My brother may not look like it but he's a delicate person. He's very soft on the inside but puts up these defensive barriers around him. He's just like a puppy. If you want him to open up, you better take the initiative."
"I, myself, have a timid personality. I can't stand his glaring."
"Sweetheart, how will you live then? You're getting married in less than three weeks and you can't even stay in the same room as him. You'll only live unhappily if this continues."
"I know, I know. I don't want to live like this either but I feel like it'll all be useless."
"You'll never know unless you try."
You stay quiet at that.
"Let's bring you back, yeah?"
You nod your head at him. "Okay."
He leads you out of the room and to your room in the west wing.
"You've arrived at your destination."
"Thank you, Haechan," you smile.
"It's nothing, Princess. Dinner will be served at the same time as always."
"Alright," you slightly bow at him before pushing open the door.
"And Y/N," he calls, causing you to glance at him again. "He likes sweet treats."
He doesn't bother explaining further and simply winks at you before walking away.
Confused, you enter your chambers and sit down on your bed before it hits you.
"Sweets, huh? Should I bake for him tomorrow?"
__________
"Princess, what're you doing here?" the head chef questions you as you walk in the next morning, not expecting you.
"May I ask for a favor?"
He cocks his head in confusion but agree. "Of course, your Highness. What do you need help with?"
You shake your head at him. "It's not help that I need. I simply want to ask if I can borrow the kitchen for a few hours."
He seems even more confused at your answer. "May I ask why?"
"I want to bake for Prince Jeno."
The head chef smiles then and nods in affirmative. "Go ahead, Princess. Usually, Prince Jeno likes to have chocolate fudge brownies for dessert."
You beam at the new information. "Thank you! Do you have the ingredients?"
"I'll set it up for you, Princess."
"Thank you."
A while later, you're left alone in the kitchen skimming through the steps with the ingredients set up on the counter. You carefully read the instructions and get to work once you've measured everything.
40 minutes later, you're finished and the brownies are fresh out of the oven, their scent heavenly and inviting. You cut it up into blocks and place some of them onto a plate, making sure that it looks aesthetically pleasing and save the rest in a container. Once you're satisfied, you head out of the kitchen with the brownies, intent on tracking down the prince.
You pass by the head chef who's on his way to the kitchen. "Have you finished, Princess?"
"Yes, I have. Thank you for helping me."
"It was nothing, Princess."
"You're too modest," you chuckle. "I've left some in a container. You can have them if you'd like. Hopefully it's to your liking."
His eyes widen at your thoughtfulness. "Thank you, Princess. I'm sure that it tastes excellent."
"You put me in high regard."
"I can assure you that Prince Jeno will love it."
"I hope so."
You bid him goodbye then and carry on your search for the prince.
You go to the courtyard, hoping to find him there practicing archery. But luck's not on your side, he's not there.
After searching mindlessly for him, you stumble upon Renjun.
"Renjun!"
He turns at your voice and give you a light bow. "Princess."
"Do you know where Prince Jeno is?"
"Prince Jeno is currently at the stable, tending to the horses."
You deflate at that. "Oh, is he busy?"
Renjun notices the plate you're carrying and the dejected look on your face and shakes his head. "He'll be happy to see you."
You can't help but let out a snort at that and you blush in embarrassment as you realize what you just did.
Renjun laughs at you as you try to regain your composure.
"It's highly unlikely that he'll even be pleased to see me," you shrug. "but I'm willing to give it a try."
Renjun beams at that, happy that you're trying to get closer to the prince.
"I'll take you to him."
Moments later you arrive at the stable in the Southern wing of the castle. You can make out Jeno's figure inside, caressing a horse.
"I'll call him out, Princess. We wouldn't want the horses taking a bite of the chocolate."
You giggle in response and he enters the stable, making his way towards Jeno.
Not even a minute later, Jeno steps out and he's surprised to see you standing there.
"What're you doing here?" he asks, the question is the same as last time but this time, his tone is softer and gentler.
"I, uh, made brownies?"
Jeno snorts at that. "Are you informing me or asking me?"
You clear your throat and look him in the eye. "I made brownies."
"Isn't that better?" he teases as he dismisses Renjun who bows to both him and you. "Why though?"
You rack your brain for answers because you don't know the reason yourself, why did you bother to try so hard to please him?
"I want to get to know you better."
He raises an eyebrow at that. "Why the sudden change?"
"What?"
"You've been avoiding me for the past week, why're you suddenly trying to get along with me?"
"I know it's my fault to have wandered around like that and I can't fathom living in an unhappy marriage where all I know about my husband is his name. So even if we can't grow to love each other, let's at least tolerate each other."
His face is void of emotion and you're afraid that you've angered him once more so you open your mouth to apologize.
"Don't apologize. You're right, we should at least get to know each other."
You smile at him, happy that he feels the same way.
"Let's enjoy the treat in the garden."
You nod at him with a grin and follow his lead.
__________
"How'd you know that this is my favorite?" Jeno asks as he munches on a brownie, fudge covering the corners of his mouth.
He looks soft then and you know that Haechan was right, he's just like a puppy.
"I may have indirectly asked the head chef."
"You have to learn to stop beating around the bush."
"My apologies," you smile sheepishly.
"It tastes good though. And dare I say," he looks into your eyes. "it tastes even better than the one the chef usually makes."
Your eyes widen at that. "Really?"
He hums in affirmative as he continues to plow through the brownies.
"You'd make an excellent cook."
His compliment makes you blush, you rarely ever get complimented and to have him praise you makes you feel butterflies in your belly.
"Thank you."
After the last of the brownies have been devoured until only bits of crumbs remain, Jeno opens up to you a little. He talks about his childhood and hobbies, along with a few pranks that he and his brother pulled in their younger years.
As you spend time with him, you realize that he's genuinely a nice person and you couldn't help but admire him. You find yourself laughing along to the tales of his childhood and you feel calm, knowing that the act he pulled in the beginning was just a defense mechanism.
It's already noon when Renjun calls for the Prince, informing him of his duties.
Jeno seems reluctant to leave but you try not to hallucinate.
"I have to take my leave now, Y/N."
You smile meekly at him, understanding. "Of course."
"Today was pleasant," he says. "Maybe we should do this again sometime."
Your smile turns into a grin. "I'd like that."
He picks up his suit jacket and drapes it over his shoulders. "One more thing."
You look up at him.
"I want to apologize for the way I've treated you. I was only like that because I don't find the idea of marrying a random stranger comforting. However, I shouldn't have taken it out on you since you're in the same boat as me, maybe even worse."
You chuckle softly at him. "It's fine, Jeno. I forgive you."
"Maybe you shouldn't."
His response makes you furrow your brows in confusion.
"What do you mean?"
"You shouldn't forgive people too easily, Y/N. It will kill you one day. You shouldn't dismiss people’s actions when they make mistakes. They should make up for it."
You stare at him and he simply smirks at you before bidding you goodbye.
__________
You spend the next few days getting to know Jeno better and you genuinely enjoy spending time with him.
He usually visits you in your room, dressed in his gear. His visits don't last longer than an hour and when he leaves, you always look forward to your next meet up.
He's softened around you, the defensive walls he put up slowly crumbling and his inner self showing.
He may not admit it, but he enjoys your company. Your voice soothes him and your shy but caring personality has him smiling like a fool.
The bond between you two have grown into friendship and the King and Queen are pleased to see the development within the last 2 weeks.
But even though things have been progressing well, he still keeps you away sometimes, refusing to let the friendship grow into something more.
He's afraid and Lee Jeno hates being afraid. So when one particular visit has you leaning towards each other, he recoils from you like you've stabbed him. The soft look in his eyes are gone and replaced with a piercing gaze, his jaw clenched tight and his whole demeanor changing back to how it was when you first met.
"Jeno?" you frown in confusion, one minute he's laughing along with you and in the next minute he's looking at you with a murderous look in his eye.
He ignores the pained look on your face, backing away.
"Don't," he spits, anger etched onto his features.
Before you get the chance to apologize, he's out the door, footsteps hurriedly moving away from your door.
You stare at the open door for a minute, wondering what went wrong. Your mind flashes back to the expression on his face and you sob in pain, hurt by how he treated you and hurt that even though he's opened up to you, you will never have his heart.
And you know what's worse? The one thing you've forbid yourself to do is fall in love with Lee Jeno. But sadly, you can't control what your heart wants. And it's set its sights on Lee Jeno, someone who will never be yours.
__________
You don't see him for the next three days, and you know he's avoiding you. But you don't try to appease to him because you know that this time, he'll hurt your heart even worse.
It's 3 in the evening and you're bored out of your mind with nothing interesting to do. You end up taking a stroll, venturing through the third floor where you stay. After looking through every nook and cranny in the west and north wing, you head to the east wing to look around.
Aside from you, only a few maids and servants stay on the third floor and they live in the east wing.
So you try to see where Yeri stays and hopefully, you'll be able to bump into her and invite her for some tea.
But as you pass through the hallway leading to the east wing, a certain room catches your eye. There's a red X on the door, further piquing your curiosity. The door is ajar, allowing you to peek into the room.
A part of you demands that you ignore it and continue your walk but a bigger part of you is curious and dying to find out.
It's also one of the main reasons you get into a lot of trouble with your parents, poking your nose in places it doesn't belong.
You stealthily open the door, making sure that the coast is clear before stepping inside. You gently close the door, leaving it slightly open so that you can sneak back out without making too much noise.
You observe the room, noting that it's a bedroom, probably one of the maids given at the feminine feel of the room.
But it seems as though it hasn't been lived in for a while seeing as how the bed covers are caked with dust and how the floor is covered in dirt.
You don't find anything interesting and move to head out when something catches your attention from the corner of your eye.
A photo frame.
You step closer to the frame that's standing on a vanity table. Carefully, you grasp the frame in your hand and a shocked gasp escapes you.
The frame holds a collection of pictures of a girl with Jeno. Her hair is a platinum blonde, similar to his hair color and she's definitely beautiful.
Numerous pictures can be seen of them together and they look happy and so in love. The smile on Jeno's face is the most sincere and carefree smile you've ever seen on his face with his eyes formed into crescents. He seems so laid back compared to how he is now and you wonder what caused him to be this way.
You can't help but trace your fingers over his face, your lips pulled into a bittersweet smile.
'Will he ever look at me the same?'
You're so lost in your thoughts that you didn't hear the door open nor did you hear the familiar footsteps approaching.
"What're you doing here?!"
The questions brings a sense of deja vu in you and in a way, it does. You've trespassed once again.
However, unlike the first time where his tone was filled with anger and annoyance at you. This time, there's malice in it and to say that he's angry is an understatement, he's furious.
You've unknowingly unleashed the beast inside him. And this time, you've no way out.
You can't answer him and your silence pisses him off even more.
"I asked you a question! What the fuck are you doing here?!"
Your mind is blank, and as you turn to look at the fury on his face, your heart jumps in fear.
You keep silent, not knowing how to answer and his patience wears thin.
"I've fucking told you not to trespass!"
He steps closer to you and you unconsciously take a step back, the photo frame still held tightly in your hand.
Jeno notices it though and he marches to you in anger, ripping the frame out of your hand, causing a burning sensation to ripple through your hand.
"How fucking dare you touch this?! Don't you know better than to touch things that aren't yours?! Didn't your parents ever teach you manners?!"
With every question he shouts, he steps closer to you and you're frozen in place, fear overwhelming you. Your eyes cast towards the floor, your hair becoming a makeshift curtain to hide your pale face.
Will he beat you like your parents usually do? Will it hurt more or will it be easier to endure?
"Why do you have to be so damn stubborn?!"
He snaps at last, gripping your chin tightly and forcing you to look into his eyes.
You want to look away, you want to run away but his piercing gaze keeps you in place and you're unable to tear yourself away from his stare.
"Fucking answer me!"
He slaps your left cheek in a fit of blind rage and your head falls limply to the side, eyes brimming with tears as pained sobs wreck you.
Jeno realizes what he's done then and he steps back in shock. He may be ruthless when it comes to males but he never dares to lay a hand on a lady, his parents taught him better than that.
Yet here he is, hand stretched out in front of him, stinging from the force of the slap, too far gone to control his anger.
The shocked look on his face quickly morphs back into anger and he doesn't let your broken sobs affect him.
"Get out of here! And don't you dare step foot in this place again, or so help me I don't lose my shit and do something I'll regret."
You want to move but the shock and pain from the slap is too much.
"Get the fuck out!"
You snap yourself back to consciousness, afraid of what he might do if you stay a second longer. You bolt out the door, a hand gripping onto your left cheek as you run to your chambers in record time.
The moment you step inside, you break down onto the floor, your sobs increasing in volume and your face wet with tears.
Back in the other room, Jeno crumbles onto the floor and tears stream down his face, his chest burning in pain as he regrets his actions. He didn't mean to lose control like that, even more so to the extent of slapping you.
To see you sobbing in front of him in pain, pain caused by him, has his heart crying in hate and despair. He hates that he can't control himself around you.
And the effect you have on him makes him more afraid than he should be. Because he's not ready to let go, he's not ready to move on.
__________
You stay locked in your room for the next two days, ignoring your pale skin and dizziness from the lack of oxygen and sunlight.
You haven't bothered to step out of your room for food so Yeri brings you your meals instead.
The only ones who know of the incident are you and Jeno, but you refuse to sell him out to anyone, afraid his parents would punish him. And you know you shouldn't look out for him because he's hurt you too much too often, but your heart yearns for him. It longs for his touches, his affection, and his love.
A knock on the door snaps you out of your reverie. But the person doesn't bother to wait for your response and slips into the room.
It's Haechan.
A sigh of relief surges through you because you're not ready to face him yet.
"Hey," he greets softly, afraid he might panic you.
You slowly rise to a sitting position on the bed, tear streaks evident on your face.
You'd think that you've run out of tears to cry but each time you think of him, you find wetness on your cheeks.
"Hi."
"How're you doing?" he asks as he sits on the edge of the bed, voice gentle.
"I've felt better."
"Mind telling me what happened?"
"It's nothing."
Haechan frowns at you, knowing full well that 'nothing' wouldn't cause you to starve yourself in your room.
"Don't lie to me, girl," he quips. "What did my brother do?"
You may not want to sell him out but you wish to know the girl in the picture. You're curious as to who could make him smile like that.
"Please tell me something."
He raises a brow, indicating you to continue.
"Did Jeno ever fall in love with someone?"
And instantly, he knows who you're referring to. And he understands what happened, even if you've told him nothing.
"Did you enter the marked room in the east wing?"
"I did, it's all my fault."
"Sweetheart, you have to learn to control your curiosity. It may get you killed one day."
You chuckle blankly, curiosity killed the cat and someday, it may kill you.
"I know."
He sighs at your response, nothing can be done to change the past. However, he could at least tell you the truth and hope that you two reconcile, the wedding's less than ten days away.
"He has."
You knew he did, judging from the way he reacted. So why does it still hurt to have verbal confirmation?
"She was his first love. Her name was Jang Yeeun. She was once a maid of the castle, my brother's personal maid. She was a nice person, funny and caring as well. My brother was enamored by her and he quickly fell in love."
He pauses, searching your face that's currently void of any emotions.
"He pinned after her, showering her with affection and gifts but she was afraid to be caught by our parents so she pushed him away. However, my brother is a very goal focused person so he kept on pursuing her, promising her that he'll always love and care for her.
She finally relented and he courted her for 7 months. Everything was pleasant, going the way it should be, until an older maid found out. She reported it to the King and Queen and they immediately took action.
My brother and his lover were called upon to the throne room. My father refused to accept the courtship, stating how he can only marry a royal. So my father gave him an option, either he banishes Yeeun out of the kingdom and to small town in the borders or he beheads Jeno for treason.
My brother didn't care, if it meant that Yeeun could live peacefully then he'll take the punishment. But Yeeun was too kind, too forgiving, and she agreed to leave.
Jeno was more than pissed and he tried to rebel against the King. Yeeun decidedly made an ultimatum, she told him that he was being selfish and that he should set her free. She had warned him of possible punishments beforehand, scenarios that he refused to foresee.
He was reluctant but eventually, he let go. She was sent on a carriage the next morning, bidding him goodbye one last time."
"So she's still alive? She's in a town in the border?"
"She was supposed to be."
You missed the 'was' in his statement.
"That's great then. Since he obviously doesn't want to marry me, I'll just get Yeeun to come here and he'll finally be happy."
Haechan shakes his head at you.
"Why? What's wrong?"
"She died."
Your eyes widen into saucers. "You said she's supposed to be in a town somewhere. What do you mean she's dead?"
"I said she was supposed to be there. On the way to the town, they were stopped by bandits. The bandits stole everything there was and even tried to kidnap her.
When she refused and fought back, they didn't hesitate to kill her and the royal guards. Only one managed to survive and he ran back to the castle, delivering the news to the King and Queen.
My brother was devastated and he locked himself up. He refused to talk to anyone for a month and he starved himself.
On one hand, he hated himself for the reason she died was due to his selfishness. But on the other hand, he couldn't help but blame our parents as well, had she not been banished then this would never have happened.
And a tiny part of him blamed Yeeun, she was too selfless and he hated that she didn't think twice on giving up her freedom just to save his life.
It's been three years yet he still loves her unconditionally."
You listen intently, heart reaching out for him.
"He's afraid, you know."
You frown. "Of what?"
"He's afraid to fall in love again," Haechan explains, palms smoothing out the bed cover.
"Why? I'm a royal like him so I'll always stay by his side."
"That's exactly why. He feels as though it’s unfair for Yeeun. He made the room that she used to live in into a shrine in memory of her. He always goes there every other day, telling her of recent events.
He hasn't let her go or rather, he refuses to let her go. And with you around, he feels that he's breaking a promise that he made to her right before she left."
"What did he say?"
"He promised that no matter what happens, he'll always wait for her and that his heart will always belong to her."
You realize then, he'll never move on from the ghost of his past.
"So he's afraid to love again because he's afraid to break the promise he made to her, is that it?"
"Yes. My brother has always been afraid of the unknown. He's not willing to let go of her and the promise he made but it's slowly killing him."
"I knew I shouldn't have bothered and I regret it."
"Sweetheart," Haechan caresses your hand. "The only person who can save him is you. I know you've had it rough until now, but please, you shouldn't give up."
"I hate the fact that even though I forbid myself to do so," you feel your eyes well up with another onslaught of tears. "I fell in love with him."
Haechan's eyes soften.
"I hate that even though I've opened up to him and even told him all my darkest secrets, he still keeps me at arm's length. He's gentler around me but he still holds back. And I hate that I'm the one to suffer from this."
Haechan's eyes soften at your form. "You're not the only one suffering, sweetheart. He's fallen in love with you, that's why he's avoiding you. So he's unwilling to let himself go because he's afraid that by doing so, he'd betray her.
"Then what can I do, Haechan? You said it yourself, he's avoiding me because he’s scared."
"And you're not?"
"Why should I be?" you cock your head at him.
"You're afraid that he won't be able to let go of the past and will compare you to her. You're afraid that you won't have his whole heart."
And he's right about that. It seems that being able to read people is a trait that runs in the family.
"However, just because you're scared, it doesn't mean that you shouldn't try. If you truly do love him, you'll try again. And if you're meant to be together, you'll always go back to each other. That's love."
"For someone who hasn't gone through it, you sure know a lot about love," you chuckle dryly.
"I've always been quite an odd one."
Laughing softly, you say, "You're right about that."
__________
When you wake up the next morning, Yeri dresses you up and you head down to have breakfast for the first time in days.
The only ones present are you and the Queen yet for some reason, your mind always goes back to him. You try not to dwell on your inevitable encounter and focus on your meal instead.
After a light talk with the Queen and reassuring her that everything will be fine, you take a stroll around the castle, basking in the fresh air of the spring morning.
Unconsciously, your feet begin to drift down a familiar path and you're too focused on viewing the scenery outside through the windows that you don't realize you've reached your destination.
One of the places that you've been avoiding because of an accidental trespassing. A place that you know was something his late lover held dear.
The greenhouse.
You decide to leave, in fear of angering the crown prince once more. But just as you turn to head back towards the castle, a gentle voice calls out to you.
"Wait."
It's him, you know it's him. And even though you've mentally prepared yourself to face him, you're still scared. You don't waste time though, turning around to face him.
It's only been a few days but he looks worse for wear, something you're not far from either. His blonde hair is flat, clinging to his face and his cheeks are hollow. His eyes are lifeless and the dark bags under his eyes are emphasized by his pale skin.
"Jeno-"
He silences you with a simple gesture, stepping forward in your direction.
"I," his gaze downcast, eyes filled with regret and pain. "I want to apologize for that day."
You let him talk.
"I lost control and slapped you, something that I shouldn't have ever done and I can only apologize to you for hurting you. I'm also sorry that I shouted at you and got angry at you."
You step a little towards him.
"I-I can only apologize."
"It's fine," you smile sincerely, causing him to snap his head at you. "I forgive you."
"Why?!" he's miserable now, unshed tears brimming around the corners of his eye. "Why do you forgive me so easily? I've done nothing but hurt you and yet you still."
"I-I,” you take a deep breath in. “It's because I love you, Jeno."
His jaw goes slack and he stares at you with an unreadable expression.
"I tried not to, you know. I tried so hard to not fall in love with you, but I failed."
"I can't," he croaks out, throat closed up as he struggles to speak. "I can't love you."
And this time, you've had enough. You may have tolerated a lot of mistreatments in your life but you'd be damned if you let him go.
"No!" he's shocked to hear you shout, anger etched onto your usually soft and calm features. "That's bullshit."
"Y/N-"
"You love me, don't deny it. You're just scared."
"I-"
"You're scared to move on, Jeno. That's why you pushed me away in the beginning. That's why you refused to get to know me before you judged me, you thought that by having a bad first impression that I'd leave or refuse to stay by your side. But you're wrong. It made me want to prove to you that I'm not what you said, that I'm a good person and that you can trust me.
You're afraid to love me because you're not ready to let go of the past. You've been clinging onto a broken memory for the past three years! I'm sorry for being harsh, but you need to move on."
"I can't!" Jeno cries. "I've fallen for you and that's what breaks me the most. It's because I've fallen for you that I don't know what to do. A part of me wishes to let go and make you mine. But a bigger part of me is filled with guilt of my first love. I'm afraid that if I move on, I'd be betraying her."
"You won't be betraying anybody, Jeno. You're only betraying yourself."
Jeno's whole body goes rigid and his head drops.
"You made a promise that can never be kept, Jeno. And no matter how sincere a promise may be, it's bound to be broken. She won't blame you, she would never blame you. If you truly love someone, you'd never be able to hate them. Instead, you'd do the right thing, even if it means destroying yourself and that's why she sacrificed her happiness for your life.
I don't have to know her to know that all she wished was for you to find your true love one day, the one who will complete you, your other half. But you're resisting, Jeno. You're hurting yourself, you're slowly killing yourself."
"But Yeeun-"
"She would have wanted you to find happiness, not wallow in regret for the rest of your life because of a love that wasn't meant to be."
And for the first time, you see Jeno break down in front of you. He drops down to his knees, sobs wrecking his body.
Carefully, you walk over to him and crouch down, enveloping him in a hug. For the first time in three years, he lets everything go. He feels relieved of his burden, the weight on his shoulders gone and the stress in the back of his mind fading away.
He shakily wraps his arm around you, nestling his face in the side of your neck, tears still pouring.
That morning, he finally realizes what a fool he's been and he finds comfort in your arms. You feel at peace then, knowing that even though it'll take time, he'll grow to love you whole heartedly.
Unbeknownst to the two of you, the King, Queen and Prince Haechan saw the scene unfold from the castle, their hearts light and proud. After years of pushing people away, he's finally let the one true person in, you.
__________
The day has finally come, the day that you once dreaded to happen, yet now you're overjoyed at the prospect of getting married to the crown prince.
You're currently in your room with Yeri keeping you company and making sure that your dress is in place.
A knock on the door resounds through the room and the door opens to reveal your sister who you haven't seen for months. "Jisoo!"
"Y/N!"
She runs to hug you, taking caution on not damaging your outfit.
"You look so beautiful," she whispers to you as she gently cups your face.
"I've missed you."
"Me too, little angel," she chuckles as she places a light kiss on your forehead. "I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you when you needed me."
You shake your head at her. "No, having you at my wedding is more than enough."
"Shall we go?"
You smile at her. "Let's go."
__________
Jeno's nervous and he's never been this nervous. He can't help but pace around his room as he waits to be called down.
He's so into his thoughts that he doesn't realize his brother had slipped into his room.
"What's got your head occupied?"
Jeno snaps his head to see that it's simply Haechan.
"I'm nervous."
"Why?"
"What if Y/N backs up at the last minute and leaves me?"
Haechan scoffs at his brother. "Look, the one with a higher possibility of doing that is you."
Jeno glares at him, annoyance rising through.
"She won't leave you, you know. You've hurt her more than once and yet, she's stayed. She truly loves you, even if she didn't realize it earlier on. And you know you love her, no matter how much you denied it."
"I'm just scared that this is all a dream."
"Don't be. She's not Yeeun, she won't have the same fate as your late lover."
"Is she truly the one?"
"Run a test," Haechan shrugs. "If you feel a spark when you kiss later then she is your true soul mate."
"What if it doesn't happen?"
"I'm certain it will."
__________
The royal hall is crowded with people, the King and Queen along with your parents are present, patiently waiting for the ceremony to start.
Esteemed guests from different kingdoms are present as well, your sister and her husband, Prince Johnny Seo, included.
The townspeople of the Lee Kingdom are excited to witness the royal wedding, making sure they get the perfect view of both the crown prince and princess.
A loud horn can be heard from the courtyard, signaling the start of the ceremony.
Jeno stands on the altar, body turned and facing the door, awaiting your entrance.
A second later, the door opens and you look up to see the entire hall looking at you.
You try to calm your beating heart as you slowly walk down the aisle, your dress dragging behind you.
Your eyes find Jeno's and for a moment, you're lost in them, a stupid smile adorning your face.
You barely realize that you've made it to the altar, your gaze still locked with his, until the priest softly calls out to you.
You step on the altar, facing Jeno, and all his doubts are washed away.
The ceremony continues with the priest reading through the formalities and praying that he both of you continue to live in happiness.
"I, Lee Jeno, take Kim Y/N as my wife, and I promise to stay by her side and care for her in sickness and in health, until death do us apart."
"I, Kim Y/N, take Lee Jeno as my husband, and I promise to stay by his side and care for him in sickness and in health, until death do us apart."
The priest then tells you to exchange rings and you each carefully place the rings on your ring fingers, hands interlocked as you waited for the final deed.
"You may now kiss the bride."
Jeno doesn't hesitate to cup your cheeks and you close your eyes to feel his lips on yours, molding into one.
Jeno feels sparks from the touch, something he's never felt before.
Cheers erupt from the hall and you two break the kiss with a smile.
Renjun comes forth and escorts the two of you to the carriage where you're supposed to go around the kingdom and greet the townspeople.
As you sit inside with him beside you, you can't help but rest your head on his, a smile on your face.
The carriage moves forward then and you go around waving at the townspeople with them excitedly doing the same.
"You know, I was nervous earlier."
"Why?" you chuckle, turning to face him.
"I was afraid you'd run away."
"Nonsense!" you laugh. "I wouldn't do such a thing."
Jeno smiles as you laugh, his heart full with love.
"I love you, Y/N."
For a moment, you're taken aback by his confession but you know that he does, even if he's too shy to admit it.
"And I love you too, Jeno."
He knows then that even if it'll take a while for him to let go, he truly loves you and you won't have it any other way.
