Discover Top Posts Tagged with #jeno angst

𝐔𝐧𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐧 - 𝐋.𝐉𝐍

You work your usual night shift at a midnight café, when suddenly, a stranger bursts through the door and hides behind the counter. Seconds later a police officer follows and asks you about a red haired guy. For some reason, you deny ever having seen someone like that, so the officer leaves. When the guy you just protected keeps reappearing after that night, you can feel that something is up. But will he let you into his world? And do you even want to find out what exactly his deal is?

pairing: Jeno x fem!reader ft. Jaemin, Yuqi & Bang Chan

genre: slice of life, strangers to friends to lovers, slow burn, found family

warnings: lots of swear words, mentions of wounds and blood, injuries, mentions of alcohol, troublesome family background, shady business, loan sharks, sorta fight club scene, real life problems, parents suck in this, 18+

wc: ~40k

note: so yeah, this is somewhat inspired by the whole beat it up concept...even tho I strayed from it quite a bit. But I just wanted everyone to know that however you imagine Jeno in this, I always thought of all the cool concept outfits the boys had. So his personality in this is pretty much based on the vibe I got from those. This is such a random psa, but for some reason I wanted to say this so y'all can have the same cool outfits in mind while reading. I didn't even describe any in this story but oh well 😅 now then, have fun reading.

now playing: NCT Dream - Unknown, ...

I. THE CHASE

Heavy breathing. The cold night air. His heart is pounding. He looks back for the third time. Sees the blue lights of the police car behind him. And quickens his pace. He needs to hide. Fast.

The police officer shouts for him to stop running, not letting off his pursuit. But he doesn´t listen. He can´t get caught.

Thankfully, luck is on his side. He rounds the corner. Jumps down a flight of stairs. Climbs up the wall of the small alleyway. And rounds another corner, not slowing his pace. There it is. A small store with the lights still on. A midnight cafe.

He sprints towards it. Pushes open the door with too much force. And hides behind the counter. He doesn´t give an ounce of attention to the barista staring at him in shock as he tries to catch his breath.

The young girl—you—just stands in shock, overwhelmed by what just happened. You were just minding your business, going about your tasks like any other shift. And then he crashes through the door, jumps over the counter, and hides behind it like it´s the most natural thing to do.

You are still holding the freshly cleaned mug, drying it with a towel, when a police officer storms in a minute later. He is out of breath too, and looks around frantically before he spots you.

You stop in your tracks, facing him like a deer in headlights. Then the man speaks to you with urgency. “Have you seen some guy with red hair pass by? Young, roughly this tall, dark clothes.” The officer states and demonstrates standard data, matching the guy who is sitting a meter away from you, clutching his mouth to keep quiet.

He looks at you pleadingly. You barely see it in the corner of your eyes. On instinct, you shake your head. “No, sir. I haven´t.” Your voice sounds steady and unfazed. The policeman in front of you nods slowly. He seems skeptical.

“Mind if I take a quick look around?” he asks, just to make sure he isn't missing anything, in case you are lying.

The question makes the guy’s eyes go wide. He fears this is it. He is already surprised that you covered for him. But before he can worry and look for another quick escape route, you act faster. You pull a cabinet door open, hiding his figure, and put away the mug as if that´s the place it belongs. “Sure, go ahead.”

You don´t close the door, and instead make sure to push whoever this stranger is further down to hide his figure while the officer starts roaming through the small cafe. He looks behind the chairs and even looks into the storage room. When he returns, not having found what he is looking for, he sighs. “Sorry for the intrusion. If you see anything suspicious in the area, please call 911 and let us know.” He excuses himself and then turns to leave the cafe.

Once the door shuts, you slam the counter door closed. You don´t look at him yet, but you are ready to bombard the stranger with questions. “It´s clear.” Your voice rings in his ears when you no longer see the officer outside.

The guy slowly gets up and peers over the counter, not fully trusting your words. But when he doesn´t see anything, he fully stands up. He looks at you, ready to say something. But the way you look at him—fierce eyes, and an expression that demands an explanation—has him swallow away any word he was about to mutter.

“So, mind telling me what your business is? Clearly, you aren´t here to buy a drink.” Your arms cross in front of your chest as you stare him down. In any other situation, you would probably take a step back, given the fact that he looks rough and ready to beat someone up. But you are full of adrenaline, so you can´t care less at the moment.

The guy, sporting some bruises and cuts on his face, red hair straying in many directions, and clothes that scream street gang, regains his composure and leans on the counter now. “There isn´t anything to explain.”

The way he dryly answers you leaves you unsatisfied. So you step closer to the door, ready to open it and go outside. “Officer?! There´s someone-” A hand wraps around your mouth and pulls you back against a broad chest.

“Fine! For fucks sake, shut up. Will you?” he scolds and cautiously looks towards the door, afraid the policeman heard you.

When he lets go of you, you turn and look at him, expecting an answer this time. “This is the least you can do, since I covered for you. Tell me what´s up.” Your demand makes him roll his eyes. Why the fuck does he need to justify himself in front of a stranger?

“You are better off not knowing anything.” He still doesn´t give you an answer. This pisses you off, however.

“Yah! I wanna know if I just helped a drug dealer or murderer hide from the police. That´s all. If the neighborhood gets a whim of this, I might get fired for helping a criminal,” you argue, not in the mood to lose your job. You know word spreads fast, and you are not willing to suffer negative consequences.

The boy exhales, exhausted. "I didn´t do shit. But they chased me anyway. Because someone falsely blamed me. There. Happy now?”

You take in his words and think them over. Spotting lies isn´t your biggest strength, but you wanna say you are good enough to at least know if someone is totally messing with you. “Hmph. Fine. If you are done hiding, mind leaving the cafe now? You are scaring away my customers.”

“Pff, what customers? There is no one on the streets at this hour,” he says, amused. This time, he is the one crossing his arms. But now that the adrenaline from the chase is wearing off, he can feel the burn in his legs and the cuts on his face sting a lot more.

“I don’t care. If you aren´t here to buy anything, you can leave. I am not getting paid enough for this kind of shit.” You sound quite annoyed now, which he notes. You move to finish drying the remaining mugs waiting near the sink and start ignoring him.

Out of curiosity, and because he knows he has to wait a little more until he can leave safely, he starts looking around the place. It´s a cozy little cafe, decorated with astronomy-themed things, emphasizing the concept of a cafe open throughout the night. He can´t believe people actually come and visit. But what does he know? He doesn´t usually roam around these areas. It´s too bougie for him, even if it´s just the suburbs.

When you turn around to put away the last mug and see him touch a vase he isn´t supposed to, you hurry over and snatch the piece from him. “Don´t touch that! It might break. Don´t you have manners?” Your voice sounds scolding, much to his amusement.

“Is the little princess seriously afraid I might break something? For your information. I'm not a toddler. Let me look around,” he argues.

“No. I told you to leave. And you can´t even listen to that. Why would I trust you with anything else? I don´t even know you.” Carefully, you place the vase back in its original place. Then you stare at him with a venomous look. “Leave.”

He returns your stare with one of nonchalance and then shrugs. “Fine. If it satisfies scared little Missy, I will leave.” With that, he finally starts moving towards the door. He stops right in front of it, though, and shortly looks back. “See you around.” Then he vanishes into the darkness, leaving you behind with more frustration than earlier when you started your shift.

“See you around, my ass,” you mumble to yourself, still a bit agitated by his audacity to ruin your night like this. Who does he think he is?

II. THE STRANGER ROAMING AROUND

Throughout the next few weeks, you keep seeing him here and there. Whenever you start your shifts, he would appear a bit later and sit down somewhere. Be it right in front of the cafe, across the street, or around the corner of the cafe, where the dark alley that occupies the trash cans sits.

At first, you ignored him, not in the mood for another confrontation. But then you noticed some customers mentioning a suspicious figure. And when the words “red” and “bruised” came to your ears, you knew they were talking about him specifically.

So when your boss informs you about the decline in revenue for those weeks, you´ve had enough. You want this to stop. Because at the end of the day, you will get less pay that month.

With certainty in your step, you walk outside to where the trash cans are. There he is, scrolling through his phone, sitting on the wall as if that´s his usual hangout spot. He doesn´t pay attention to your presence at first, seeing as you usually ignore him as well. But when you persist and don´t go back inside like all the other times, he finally looks up.

The surprise on his face is clear to you, even though you don´t understand it. The way you cross your arms and look at him, ready to scold him, doesn´t faze him much, either. And when he puts his phone away, ready to listen to whatever you have to say as if you are some friend ready to tell a story, you kind of explode.

“What the fuck is your deal here? Go away!” You almost yell. Almost. But because you don´t want to gain unnecessary attention, you stop yourself the second before.

“Hmm? Am I not allowed to sit here?” he asks, innocently.

“No! You aren´t allowed anywhere near this place at all. You are scaring away my customers!” The stern and serious expression on your face hardens. He is too casual for your liking.

“Whoa, didn´t know y´all had rules around here. Is it some area where only the upper class is allowed to visit?” The sudden disdain when he asks this hits you off guard.

“What? No. That's not what I meant-”

“Then I can sit wherever I want. Unless you own the whole street, which I doubt you do.” His phone is back in his hands after he says this, leaving you stunned.

“Urgh, sit somewhere else. I mean it. You are scaring away customers. And we can´t afford that.” You try again, but he doesn´t spare you any of his attention this time. “Why are you even here to begin with? I thought this wasn´t your usual area.”

"It's not,” he bluntly agrees. It has you even more confused. You are ready to ask another question, but he starts talking again. “It´s calmer here, though. And I need time to free my mind.”

His words leave you thinking. You can´t dictate his whereabouts. And his reasoning is hard to argue with. It wrecks your brain a bit because you still need him to stop scaring people. So that´s how you come up with a simple proposition. “At least buy something to drink and sit down inside, instead of roaming around like a thug. People aren´t used to that here.”

Your suggestion surprises him. He didn't expect you to invite him in like that. It steals a chuckle from him. But his answer disappoints you and makes your face drop. “Can´t. It´s too expensive.”

Defeated and done with his shit, you exhale and let your shoulders sink. With a roll of your eyes, you head back inside to resume your job. After all, you already wasted too much time on this talk.

When he later decides to sit in front of the cafe on one of the benches on the sidewalk to watch the cars drive by and make the time pass, you notice. How can you not? That fiery, red hair is hard to miss. Even when the darkness of the night slowly settles.

Thinking back on his words, you simply prepare a drink. Your fingers move quickly, going by the routine you have memorized as if it´s a habit. Your steps carry you outside a minute later, cup in hand. You set it down beside him and mutter simple words. “Get your ass inside soon. It´s getting cold at night.” Then you return inside to continue your work tasks like any other night.

The drink sits there for about 10 minutes before he actually takes it. At first, he wanted to ignore it, but it would be a waste not to at least try. Eventually, his head even turns to look at you. He watches your figure serve customers with this gentle but tired smile before you return to prepare another drink for someone waiting at the counter.

Before you can look at him, feeling as if someone watches you, he gets up and takes his leave. When the cold liquid hits his tongue, he is surprised by the taste. And he has to admit, strawberry milk is something he likes more than he thought.

III. A NAME

With repetition grows a habit. And with a habit, a routine establishes itself. The red-haired guy keeps showing up, sitting in front of the cafe, but never coming inside. It´s less frequent than at the start. But by the time month 2 hits, you recognize a pattern. It´s the days when he looks especially rough when he shows up. You still don´t know his name. But regardless of that, you set down a drink next to him and go back inside without a word.

He never gets the chance to say anything to you, either. But he is thankful nonetheless. He came to appreciate the gesture, even craving your drinks at certain times in his free time.

It´s one of your usual late shifts this time. The stranger in front of your cafe has long left, like any other customer. You are taking out some garbage when you hear a loud crash. Alerted, you drop the bag into the trash can quickly and head inside.

You can already feel the adrenaline in your system as you enter the front area of the cafe again. There is a chair fallen over, and the door is still creaking while in its last swings of coming to a standstill. You notice the vase that usually stands in the corner in pieces on the floor, and next to it, a small trail of blood.

Following the red dots on the floor, you come to find someone fairly familiar on the ground in your storage room. He seems to be looking for something. You cross your arms, as you seemingly do often, and clear your throat. “The heck are you doing?”

His head shoots around, surprised to hear your voice. He looks messed up, as always, and holds his hand with a tissue. “Sorry. This place was the only thing that came to mind,” he vaguely explains, leaving you with questions.

But then you notice the way the tissue soaks red, which alerts you again, reigniting the rush of adrenaline, even if it is for a different reason this time. “What did you even do?” you ask and hurry over to look at his hand.

At first, he doesn't let you, but when you pry open his hand and give him a stern look, he relents and lets you inspect the wound. There is a clean cut on his palm. It looks fairly fresh. Definitely fresher than the bruises on his face. You act quickly and get the first aid kit.

Ignoring his protests and anything else he says, you take out the necessary things and bandage the wound so the bleeding will stop. Then you throw a towel and a washcloth at him and look him dead in the eye. “Go and clean yourself up a bit. You will scare away potential customers if they see you like this.”

Your persistent worry about customers who never come at this hour has him chuckle. He watches you as you leave the storage room and then takes the items to actually do what you told him to.

When he is done and walks into the front of the cafe, he watches as you still sweep away remaining pieces of the vase he broke when he stumbled inside. “What did I say about not touching anything? Now the vase is broken.” Your sudden comment makes him laugh lightly.

“Sorry about that. I stumbled on my way inside,” he explains, and sits down on one of the chairs.

“What was your mission in the first place?” you ask and look at him, using the broom to steady yourself as you lean on it a little.

“I wanted to order a drink,” he tells you, as if that was the most obvious thing.

“Sure. The bloke who told me he can´t afford to buy a drink here came in to buy a drink and broke a vase in the process. Then he stumbles into the storage room to seemingly do what? Clean up the mess he made?” Your eyes tell him that you absolutely don´t believe him in any way.

“Exactly. After all, I remembered your concern for the vase. Also wanted to keep my hand from dirtying the floor with my blood even more. You catch on fast,” he returns, voice displaying the obvious sarcasm.

You chuckle at his comment and roll your eyes. It´s the first time he hears you do anything but scold him. “How is your hand? Does it hurt a lot?” you ask, actually concerned.

He simply nods in response. He isn´t one of many words when it comes to injuries. This is something to be expected for him. After all, his face is usually bruised, too.

“Why did you really come inside? You never do, even though I told you to get your ass inside when it´s getting dark outside.” Your voice echoes in his ears, and he remembers the words you said when you brought him a drink for the first time. So he debates about telling the truth.

Out of habit, he starts to play with his fingers, suddenly finding them to be really interesting. He can´t look at you, either, not used to what he is about to do. “I wanted to say thank you.”

That takes you by surprise. You didn´t expect gratitude. “For what?” The question comes out of your mouth by reflex. You know why. But it´s too late. You already asked.

“For giving me free drinks, even though I never asked for them. And covering for me when the police were chasing me,” he mumbles, finally looking at you again as his last words leave his mouth. “And I guess for treating my wound, even though I´m the one who broke a vase. I guess I owe you something.”

His expectant expression sits with you. He clearly wants to know what you want in return for the nice gestures. But there isn´t anything he could possibly give you. At least not of the things you need. Like money or a better life in general. Him acknowledging your friendliness warms your heart, however. Knowing that he kind of appreciates the gestures makes you happy.

“A name. How about you finally tell me your name?” you then suggest, genuinely curious because addressing him as a stranger or a gangster or whatever else you came up with as a nickname for him in your head was getting too weird.

The simple request leaves him speechless for a few seconds. He expected anything but nothing so simple. Usually, people like to exploit him. So this is new.

“It´s Jeno. How about yours?” He returns the question. Out of courtesy. Or maybe because he wants to address you by your name as well, the next time he thanks you for something.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you, then, I guess.” You give him a smile. He returns it shortly. Then the silence stretches. And with it, the awkwardness and absurdity of the situation.

“I should leave. Don´t wanna scare away potential income.” His tone is teasing as he gets up. You want to laugh, but then he is out the door before you can say anything.

“What a weird night,” you conclude for yourself. Then you get back to cleaning up.

IV. SURPRISE ENCOUNTER

This time, you are not at the midnight cafe. You work two jobs to hold yourself over water. Life is rough when you can´t rely on anyone. But that´s why you work so hard. The cafe is one thing. Your job at the restaurant around the corner from your house is the other one.

You are leaving through the back door of the restaurant, ready to buy some groceries. The cold fall air hits you as the door shuts behind you with a loud slam. “Eggs, cucumber, bread, white rice, … what else was it?” You had a note somewhere, but your jacket somehow hides it in the deepest corner of your pocket, so you are stuck trying to remember the items as your feet carry you away from the place.

Taking the shortest route to the next supermarket, you keep repeating the words in your mind, in hopes of not forgetting anything. But then, when you want to round another corner, you see someone.

The encounter is unexpected. And seemingly one-sided, as he hasn´t spotted you yet. But what takes you off guard is the sight in front of you. There he is. Hair as messy as ever, clothes a little disheveled. He sticks out like a sore thumb. And on his arm, a small figure, dressed in a fluffy bunny onesie to protect her from the cold.

A little girl, maybe 2 years old, sits on his arm, pointing at a toy in the window of a kids’ store. A million questions shoot through your mind, the groceries on your list completely forgotten. Is that his daughter? Is he a father? But why would he do shady stuff if he is?

There is no way of knowing unless you ask him. But doing that feels wrong. You barely know him. All you know is his name and that he prefers strawberry milk over matcha. You are in no position to ask about his personal life. The fact that you are even seeing him right now is already too much out of the ordinary for you to comprehend.

You keep watching him, standing in the middle of the sidewalk. Passers-by are already muttering words of annoyance as they have to pass you. And then, as if someone in the universe wants to help you with your curiosity, he turns and finally sees you, too. Your eyes grow in surprise. Then you start to malfunction. Your eyes dart around, and with determination, you start to move again, walking into a random store right at the corner.

This is weird. Too weird. The store you are in is nothing close to what your destination is, yet here you are, hiding from a stranger you barely know, simply because you saw him in the city.

Annoyed by your own incapabilities, you rub your face with your hands in frustration. The fuck are you doing? Knowing you need to leave, you turn around and go outside again. Other customers look at you weirdly as you exit the store without buying anything, but you don´t care. You look around. To the toy store, then the other side.

He is gone. Relief shows itself through you letting out a breath you didn´t know you held. Happy you can return to your original mission, you resume your walk, going to the nearest supermarket. On the way, you even find your grocery list. So with newfound happiness about your luck, you continue your day as if this surprise encounter didn´t just happen.

V. KEEPING YOU COMPANY

Another night, and another shift at the night cafe that comes to an end. You are turning the key, inhaling the cold air as you are ready to leave. Happy about the end of a long shift, all you want to do is go home and go to bed. The cafe is a good 20-minute walk from your apartment. Nothing out of the ordinary. But tonight, the streets feel especially eerie. Usually, you aren´t scared when you walk home. Tonight is different.

With quick steps, you start moving down the street. This time, you leave your headphones off, wanting to hear everything around you just in case. The first 5 minutes are fine. Only a few cars pass by. In the distance, a cat makes some noise, shortly startling you, but you keep going.

Then, after silence stretches again, you suddenly hear rustling. Your heartbeat picks up as you fasten your pace, alerted by the sound. Suddenly, footsteps follow you, which makes you even more wary. You grab your keys inside your pocket a bit tighter—just in case—and pick up the pace even more.

When you hear the footsteps get faster, too, you fear tonight is the night you will finally get kidnapped. You round the corner, straying off your usual way back, and listen again. The footsteps are gone. You wonder what the hell that was, but don´t get to think much more about it. After taking some more steps, a figure suddenly jumps out of an alley right in front of you, making you scream in surprise.

A hand covers your mouth to stifle the sound from echoing through the whole neighborhood. And then, when your surprise transforms, and you are ready to swing at whoever just scared you to shits, you recognize the face.

Halting your movements, you exhale heavily the moment his hand leaves your mouth. “Are you insane?! You scared me to shits!” you curse at him in a whisper-yell and glare at him.

Amused by your reaction, he places his hands inside his pockets and chuckles. “Relax. Nothing happened. If you didn´t start to almost run away from me, I wouldn´t have had to take a shortcut and surprise you like that.”

“Oh, so it´s my fault now for being cautious?” you question sarcastically, still looking at him as if he is insane. “Sorry that a girl is scared at night, while walking through the streets. Rightfully so. By all means, you could´ve been a murderer.”

Jeno rolls his eyes because of your dramatic antics. “Well, I saw you pass by, so I thought I would accompany you a bit. To wherever you are going at this time of the day.”

“Oh, how nice of you,” you mock and roll your eyes in return. Your feet start moving again, since you are tired and in need of a good night´s rest. You don´t care much about him, so you just leave him standing there and don´t explain anything further.

He, however, starts following and quickly settles his walking next to you. It´s quiet for the next 3 minutes, and fairly awkward. But you are too focused on your thoughts to really care.

Then, all of a sudden, you remember seeing him with that little girl on his arm the other day. And suddenly, you get curious. You don´t ask right away. But he notices that something is up. So he looks at you, trying to read your expression.

“What is it? What´s on your mind? Talk to me,” he demands, somewhat nicely. His gaze stays focused on you as you take another minute to decide whether to ask your questions or keep him and you in the dark.

“Who was that little girl the other day?” you end up asking, getting straight to the point. The question takes him off guard slightly. And because he doesn´t answer right away, you end up looking at him to try and read his face in return.

“You saw me too, didn´t you?” you add, giving him no chance to divert the conversation in any way. So he sighs in defeat, acknowledging the fact that he has to give you at least a vague answer.

“That was my little sister,” he states, and finally looks ahead to the floor, unable to face you. It´s not that he is embarrassed about you seeing him with her. But rather, that you just don´t know anything. So it´s weird for him to have someone he doesn't know that well, know about someone so important in his life.

“I see,” you answer bluntly, not really knowing what else to say. “Didn´t think you were the type to take care of such small human beings.” Your mouth moves before you can stop it. You don´t mean it rudely, but you fear it still gives off the wrong statement. “Ah, I don´t mean it in a bad way. It´s just … unexpected, given our first encounter.”

“No need to explain yourself. I get what you mean. I don't exactly give off the gentle caretaker vibes,” he says, simply. As if he´s heard this type of judgment before.

Neither of you speaks after that. At least for 2 more minutes. He keeps accompanying you on your walk home. And somehow you feel a lot calmer, now that he is here.

“What´s her name?” your voice reaches his ear again. Surprised by your interest in her and, well, his life, he looks at you.

“Bom. She´s my half sister, technically. So yeah. Whatever.” The way he trails off hints at something, but you don´t ask about his family matters. It´s none of your business. At least, that´s what you think.

“She´s cute. How old is she?” You keep the conversation going, anyway, somehow still wanting to get to know him better. You have a feeling you will keep seeing him in the future, so why not try and build a casual level of knowing each other?

Jeno thinks a little and kicks away a pebble as he keeps walking. “Around two years old. I sometimes take care of her.”

You nod in understanding. It makes sense that she isn´t his full sister. You can only assume. But from what you know about him, and the way he presents himself—full of trouble and ready for something shady—family issues are likely.

The walk continues. Silence fills the air once more as your steps take you closer to home. Eventually, when you finally reach the house you live in, you stop. He takes note of it and stops, too, curiously looking at you.

“Well then. Have a good night,” you say simply, and even wait for a response as you take out the keys you kept holding ever since earlier.

Taking note of your movements, he realizes quickly that you are home. Your sudden goodbye had him confused for just a second. But then he comes to his senses and nods. “Yeah. Good night. See you around,” he mumbles, not really looking at you anymore.

When you unlock the door and turn to go inside, you add, “Thanks for somewhat walking me home.” Then the door shuts.

He watches until the lights shining through the door windows die, turning the hallway black. He starts to move, changing to the other side of the street, ready to leave wherever his feet take him. But somehow, he still takes another look at the house you just entered, and takes note of the apartment that now has windows illuminated with light.

He doesn´t know why, but when he finally leaves the street, he has a smile on his face.

VI. YOU AREN`T SUPPOSED TO BE HERE

Tonight, you don´t have to work at the midnight cafe. Instead, you have a mission to fulfill. Your boss didn´t exactly like the fact that one of the vases in the shop got destroyed. So here you are, ready to fetch a new one you found on facebook marketplace. The app wasn´t something you usually use, but you had no money to buy a brand new one at the store. Besides, trying to find one in a similar design would have been almost impossible because it was a vintage design.

So here you are, walking down an alley that screams danger. In the distance, you can hear the booming bass of a club. There are sounds of people yelling or speaking loudly, too. It´s totally not the area you usually go to, but you have no choice. It´s either this or getting a reduced paycheck from your boss for the destruction of the stupid vase.

You clutch your jacket a little tighter the closer you get to the area of that shady club. The seller gave you an address right around the corner. Inevitably, you have to pass the entrance to the club, though, much to your dismay.

When you are about to round the corner, someone pulls you back and pushes you against the wall, pinning you against it. You wanna shriek in surprise, but when you see who it is, the air stays trapped inside your lungs. At least for a few more seconds.

Big, furious eyes look right into yours as he huffs, visibly stressed. “What the hell are you doing here? It´s dangerous around here!”

A surge of rage rises inside of you as you finally release the air from your lungs with a strong answer. “Can you stop scaring me by just pulling me into alleys or falling over me like some burglar?! I`m a woman thinking I´m about to take my last breath, for fucks sake, Jeno!”

Then you realize what he just said to you, which has you furrow your brows. “Also, who are you to tell me where to go? As far as I know, I´m an adult with autonomy!”

This time, he doesn´t play around, however. Your answer and little fit of rage don't faze him at all, as he stays serious. “This isn´t a nice neighborhood. It´s no place for you. So what are you doing here?” he interrogates, much to your annoyance.

You roll your eyes at him and look to the side, unwilling to explain yourself. After all, you have no reason to do so anyway. “What´s it your business?”

Your mumbling ticks him off a little, and he shortly lets go of you just to kick away an empty bottle lying on the ground. “Fuck, Y/N, you don´t realize where you are, do you?” His hand moves through his red hair in frustration before he faces you again. “You were the one talking about potential murderers and what not, yet here you are, in the most dangerous district of the city. Make it make sense!”

You huff, but unwillingly acknowledge his words. You know you are in dangerous territory, which you really don´t like. But you have no choice. “Urgh, I am here to buy a fucking vase. One as a replacement for the stupid one you broke the other day. So don´t piss me off by acting all protective on me now! I wouldn´t even be here if it wasn´t for that.”

Your answer leaves him speechless for a few seconds. You mean to tell him you enter this area willingly, just to buy a vase? Suddenly, he questions your sanity. “You have to be kidding me. There is no way.”

“Yes, there is. So stop being such a dramatic bitch,” you counter. He has no words after that, still too busy processing the reason you are here. But then you are the one realizing something crucial. “Why the fuck are you here? Huh? And don´t tell me this is not what it looks like. Because I am certainly rethinking my judgment of you right now.”

This time, he is the one who rolls his eyes. Now he has to deal with you nagging on him about shady business and so on. As if other people in his life don´t already do this enough as it is. “Listen, what I do doesn´t matter. I know how to navigate around here. I can protect myself. You, on the other hand, don´t. So go back home. Now.”

“Not until I get the vase!” you argue, unwilling to get lectured.

“Fuck that vase! Just go home,” he yells, not ready to start a serious argument with you.

“Stop yelling at me and telling me what to do. You´re not my Mom!” you yell back at him. And when he is about to keep going, another voice suddenly calls his name.

“Jeno? Where are you? Your match is starting in 10 minutes. You need to get ready,” the unfamiliar voice calls.

Jeno rumbles in frustration. “Give me a few more minutes!” he then yells back to whoever just called for him. Then he faces you again. “Give me your phone,” he suddenly demands.

Confused, you look at him. “No? Why would I?”

“Give me your damn phone, for fucks sake. Don't make this unnecessarily hard,” he keeps pressing, holding out his hand.

Only with lots of reluctance do you finally give in and hand him your phone, unlocking it before he fully takes it. “What are you going to do?”

He takes the device from you and opens an app. Then he types something. In the next moment, his own phone lights up. “I´m typing in my number. You’d better give me a call if something happens. I swear to god.”

Only after he is done checking that the message reached his phone does he give yours back to you. You take it from his hands, too stunned to speak by his sudden action.

“Watch yourself out here. And fucking swear you will call me or leave a message if anyone tries to do something to you. Get that damn vase and go back home. And make sure no one follows you.” With those words, and after making sure you took them in, he leaves and vanishes around the corner, leaving you behind speechless.

So much for simply buying a vase. If something happens to you, you will make sure to sue your boss for emotional distress, since he is the one who made you come here in the first place.

VII. WHERE DID YOU GO?

In the following days, you don´t see him around. Even as the new vase sits in the same space the old one once sat, you don´t have the usual routine of making a drink just for him. It´s been a week. And usually, he would have visited at least once during that duration of time.

Something feels off. You can´t pinpoint what it is, but deep down, your gut is telling you something has changed. You think back to that night you suddenly met him. He sounded fairly concerned. And well, you can understand why. Then, you also remember that other guy saying something about a match.

You can only guess what kind of match. Knowing the shady business around that area, and seeing how he always has at least one bruise somewhere on his face or near it, it clearly has to do with fighting.

The realization has you wondering. Did he get hurt? Did something happen to him? Maybe he got hurt so badly he just can´t visit. You can only guess. What you are sure of, though, is that shifts are somehow way more boring than when your special visitor comes around.

Later that night, when you reach your apartment and finally lie in bed, you look at your phone screen. The app for your contacts is open and staring at you with a bright light. You are debating. Seriously debating texting him.

But then you ask yourself, is it really your place to do that? He gave you his number in case of an emergency. You are clearly not in any danger right now. But would it be wrong to still at least text?

But then again, what would you even say? Hello. How is it going? Why aren´t you coming anymore? Where are you? Did something happen? Somehow, all of these feel so wrong. So in the end, you just turn off your phone and lay it down beside you.

While you try to sleep, you still can´t help but worry about him, though. So you really, with all your might, hope that he is at least fine and able to take care of his sister. Even if he doesn’t visit the cafe for the next month. It doesn´t matter as long as you don´t have to fear seeing the news of a young red-haired boy heavily injured and in a coma in the hospital, and his family asking for donations to pay for the bills.

VIII. DETERMINATION, OR IS IT DESPERATION?

He doesn´t visit for the following two weeks either. It really is a mystery to you. You don´t know what happened. You don´t know what he is thinking. You can still only guess. Sure, so far, there is still no news article talking about some boy who got hurt so badly that he is in a hospital. At least that should be a relief. But it´s not.

You want to know what´s going on. Why he suddenly acts as if he doesn´t know you, as if you didn´t establish an unspoken routine. You don´t understand why you care so much, either. After all, he is just some stranger who does some sort of shady business.

But here you are, closing the door to the cafe, and making your way down the road. It´s not your usual way, however. Because this time, your destination isn´t home. It´s that same district. That same road. And the same location the club is at.

You are sure you are crazy and going insane. Because why would you willingly return there when you know just how dangerous it is? Even he warned you. But then again, he is the reason why you are even going. It makes no sense.

The further you go into dangerous territory, the more alert you are. You turn around whenever something makes a sound, just to see nothing or a cat playing with trash. The way the street lamps get fewer and fewer has you clutch your keys and walk faster, too. You are scared. But your curiosity is getting the better of you.

You know basically nothing about him. You don´t know where he lives, or what exactly he does in his free time. The only thing you do know is that he has to have some sort of business at this exact club. So, to finally answer your million questions, and to also somewhat calm your gut, you have to see him. Just to know that he is okay.

When the club finally enters your view, you swallow. There are a lot of people outside. And the music is so loud, you can feel the bass even from meters away. You are sure you seem suspicious, and you know that the way you present yourself right now screams easy victim. So you steady yourself and straighten your posture. Determination creeps into you as you exhale a final time before stepping into the direct light of the club, ready to move to the entrance.

Once you are there and push past a few people, you face the bodyguard. He gives you a once-over, looking at you from head to toe. Then he asks for your business. You hesitate for a second, trying to think of something. Clearly, you didn´t plan ahead much. You are far from dressed for the occasion, so it´s obvious he would question you.

You are about to answer when someone places their arm around your shoulder. Your body tenses, and you look at the stranger as he says, “She´s with me. No need to bother.” Then, before you can protest, he pushes you inside with him gently and brings you to a side of the club with fewer people.

You eye everything you can as you pass the dancing and sweating people. The club looks like a normal party location at first sight, but you know it´s not. When the stranger comes to a halt and removes his arm from around your shoulder, he looks at you with a questioning look.

“What´s an innocent doll like you doing around here? You are not here to party, are you?” the stranger asks. He looks fairly handsome, even though he is sporting some bruises and messy silver-ish hair.

“N-no. I´m looking for someone,” you say, trying to sound as confident and steady as possible, which isn´t an easy thing to do in such a dangerous and unknown establishment.

“Looking for someone, huh? Who may that be?” he asks, a bit playful, and certainly enjoying this moment with you a little too much.

“That´s none of your business. Who are you to question me anyway?” Confidence suddenly finds its way back to you as you finally look him in the eyes while asking the question with an ounce of too much audacity.

The guy clicks his tongue in amusement at the change in your tone. But he plays along. “Well, fine. I will introduce myself to such a pretty lady. My name is Jaemin. What´s yours?”

“I see, no information without a trade. Well, I´m … I´m Snow lion.” You want to facepalm yourself for the fake name you are giving him. Snow lion. How weird a name did you have to pick? Whatever, there is no going back anymore.

“Ah, yeah, Snow lion, who are you looking for? Because I am sure I've never seen you around,” Jaemin asks, definitely amused by your choice of name. He does, however, not play around when it comes to his business.

You debate about telling him the truth. Maybe he knows Jeno. The chances are high. But then again, you don´t really trust him. He seems nice on the surface. But you never know for sure. But what choice do you really have? It´s either asking a local or just aimlessly looking for him, or asking other strangers.

Defeated by the reality of things, you sigh and give in. “Is Jeno here?” You keep the question simple. Three words. Nothing more. No unnecessary information. No possible hints at anything.

Surprised by the name he hears, Jaemin takes a look around. It´s crazy to him how someone he has never seen before demands to see his best friend. Or, well, at least asks for him. “Why do you ask? Do you wanna see him? Do you wanna fight him? Or should I leave a message?”

The sudden barrage of questions takes you off guard, so you quickly shake your head. “No. No. I just…. forget it. I shouldn´t be here.” You want to retreat, seeing how pathetic this attempt is. You are in no place to ask any of this. Why did you even come here to begin with?

“He´s not here today. But he is fine, if that´s what you wanted to know.” His words enlighten you a little. It´s disappointing that Jeno isn´t here. For whatever reason. But you are also glad to hear that he is fine. You still don´t know why he isn´t showing up at the cafe anymore. But at least now you can rest well at night without having to fear for the worst.

“I should go home,” you mumble, and look for the exit.

Sensing your sudden change in mood, Jaemin nods. “I will escort you out. Just so you stay safe,” he says, and gently pushes you with his hand on your back.

You don´t mind his touch, sensing that he just wants to help you get out as fast as possible. Deep down, you are thankful he isn´t some weird creep. Or at least he doesn´t show it to you. But when you inhale the fresh night air again and start to move away, you turn one final time and look at him. “Thanks for telling me.”

Jaemin simply nods at you, and watches you as your figure slowly leaves the vicinity. He has his phone in his hand now. Without you noticing, he snaps a pic right before you are out of sight. In the next moment, he sends it to someone with a text.

Your little Snow lion came looking for you.

[image]

IX. CLARITY

You are lying in your bed a few nights later. Jeno still didn’t visit the cafe, and you gave up trying to find a plausible reason for it. You just accepted that he may have a reason for not coming and that you might never see him again. So you try to slowly let go of him.

Even though you are trying to sleep, after your encounter with Jaemin and his reassurance that Jeno is fine, you still can’t help but worry here and there. You try to think of other things. For example, how you will manage rent next month, now that you have been fired from your restaurant job. Asking your parents is not an option for you, even if you know they have more than enough to give.

You don’t wanna associate with them. Not after realizing what matters to them most. It wasn’t you, that’s for sure.

So when you finally manage to close your eyes, no thoughts haunting you and keeping you awake anymore, and having a comfortable position under your blanket, you hear an urgent knock on your window.

You ignore it, thinking it’s part of your imagination. But when the knock sounds again, and more persistent this time, your eyes shoot open.

Within a minute, you are up and walking over to it. In your hand, you hold the first thing you could find—an umbrella—and move closer. Cautiously, you pull the curtains aside, ready for anything and anyone standing there, about to rob you.

But the moment you lay eyes on the guy in front of you, you drop the umbrella and rush forward, opening the window to let him in. “What the fuck happened to you?” Your voice echoes through your bedroom with evident worry. You quickly help him inside while he stumbles to the floor, almost falling over in the process.

There he is. After not showing his face for a good month, he surprises you with a face full of fresh wounds, all pouring blood over his skin.

He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he barely manages to get himself to the closest chair for some support. The moment he sits down, you are in front of him, taking in his bruised state.

One of your hands gently tips his head so he looks at you, too. The worry in your eyes takes him by surprise. But he still doesn't explain himself.

Since he´s not saying anything, and you don´t really expect for that to change, you decide something. Your feet move quickly while eyes follow you. In an instant, you are back by his side with a glass of water and some bandages.

You push the glass of water into his hand, your gaze demanding for him to drink something. He doesn´t dare disobey, seeing the fire behind your eyes, so he takes a big gulp and sets the glass down on the table beside him. Then, your hand guides his face towards yours so you can inspect the wounds more seriously.

There is a cut above his eyebrow and a cut on his bottom lip. Another bloody bruise graces his nose, and you can certainly tell that his right eye is swollen and probably going to be blue in a few hours.

You sigh in defeat before you get to work. With gentle motions and the utmost care, you wet a tissue and start to clean the wounds, not wanting them to get infected. It surprises you that he just lets you do all of this, too. But you don´t say anything, afraid he will just run away again.

While you work on cleaning his face, he takes in yours. The soft and caring gaze. The slight furrow in your eyebrows as you seemingly wreck your mind on who did this to him. And the way you bite your bottom lip a little while concentrating on not hurting him. He doesn´t understand why you care so much. But at the same time, he feels this fire burn inside of him when he sees you.

He doesn´t know what it is. Admiration. Gratitude. Or something else. But he knows that this isn´t a given. And that he doesn´t want to miss it.

When you are about to put the first band-aid on one of the bruises, his hand suddenly moves and stops you. Your eyes instantly flow to his with a questioning look. Frustrated with how to start the conversation, he sighs, gaze trailing to your floor.

“Jeno, let me at least take care of your wounds. If you don´t want to tell me what happened, that´s fine. But at least let me help you.” You break the silence. He is surprised that you are the one to speak again first. After all, he was thinking of the right words to do it instead. But what surprises him even more is how gentle and worried you sound. It makes his eyes snap back to yours instantly.

After debating a little more and considering your genuine worry, he lets go of your hand and lets you continue. Thankful for it, you keep going. You bandage the bigger wounds and apply ointment to the soon-to-be bruises. Only when every cut is treated do you sit back and sigh.

“Why did you come here?” you eventually ask, unable to take the silence that settled again any longer. You really wonder what goes through his head. He doesn´t show up for a month. Makes you think he forgot about you. Even though you technically aren´t even friends. But now he shows up at your window in the middle of the night, all bloodied and bruised up.

“I didn´t know where else to go,” he mumbles, not looking you in the eyes. It´s embarrassing for him to admit. But there is no way he could show up at the club like this. None of his friends are home either, and his own home isn´t an option. He´s too afraid he will do something stupid if he stays alone. So in his haze, he ended up at your place, not even sure what to hope for.

“What happened?” You try again, hearing the edge of vulnerability in his voice as he speaks for the first time tonight. Your eyes stay on him, afraid you will miss any micro expression that can give you more context.

Jeno starts balling his hands into fists as he tries to calm himself down. Only thinking about it makes his blood boil again. Sensing the turmoil that´s growing inside him, you lay your hand on his in hopes of calming him down. “It´s okay. You aren´t there anymore. I´m here with you.”

Your words and gestures ground him a little, and he finally speaks. “My Mom´s boyfriend started a fight with me. We disagreed on something.” He gives away little info, but you can tell it´s something bigger than he lets on. You have a hunch about what they disagreed on, so you carefully ask.

“Was it about Bom?” The moment your words leave your mouth, his whole body tenses. You know he cares a lot about her based on his reaction and what you know so far. His nod only solidifies your suspicion.

“My Mom isn't exactly the best at taking care of her. She's quite neglectful, so I often take care of Bom instead. Her new boyfriend likes to add his two cents about her as well, and it pisses me off,” he explains, trying his best not to explode right in front of you.

“Where is she now?” you ask, sensing that maybe something might have gone wrong.

“She´s with my aunt. I brought her there before coming here.” His voice sounds rough, tired. But the anger still sits deep inside of him.

Relief floods you when you get to know that the little girl is somewhere safe. “I get that outsiders who try to dictate important situations suck ass. But I am glad that Bom is somewhere safe now. And I think, for now, that´s what matters most,” you try to reason, in hopes of calming his mind just a little.

Jeno tries. He really does. But the fight he had with that bastard still sits close to the surface. He nods regardless, agreeing with your sentiment. “I know. But the audacity is really just, urgh. It´s ridiculous.”

You don´t know if your next words are wise. But you still want to give him the option. So you say them. “If you want, you can let it all out. Vent to your heart’s content. I will simply listen and won´t judge you.”

There is a pause in his breathing. He takes in the meaning of what you said. And then, as if something opens inside of him, he lets go. He starts rambling on about how his mom is an irresponsible woman, ever since his father left them for his career. He tells you about how she got knocked up by some stranger and had Bom a little over 2 years ago. Then she suddenly showed up with that new boyfriend of hers. The guy is the reason she started drinking again, and no matter how often he tries to tell her to stop, she just doesn´t listen.

“I have no idea how I managed to get the money to move out from there. But things are so messy. I try so hard to get Bom away from her. But she somehow always finds a loophole. The police don´t do shit. And then that asshole has some sort of lawyer. I don´t know what to do anymore.” He ends his rant with those words, moving his hand through his hair in frustration.

You sit there, taking in everything he tells you. A family that broke up because someone important left. A sudden pregnancy and seemingly no one who feels responsible for the child besides her older brother. A new love that puts his mom on the wrong path and changes her for the worse. An unsafe and messy environment for both children. And even though one of them is an adult now, there is simply nothing he can do because the system fails him.

“Is that why you are at that club so often?” You eventually ask, turning the topic in a different direction. For clarity.

The boy in front of you nods. He is on his feet by now, pacing around in hopes of calming himself down. “I fight for the money. The more I win, the more I earn. So I frequent the place. It´s tough business, but it´s the only option I have.”

You want to say something, but he interrupts you before you can. “And no, other jobs don´t work. I didn´t go to university. I barely managed to get through High school. They don´t want me anywhere near them, because I already look like trouble. People speak. And news travels fast. You sure bet everyone knows about my messy situation before I even get the chance to apply properly.”

You sigh in defeat, knowing fully well that he is right. Once someone has dirt on you, they will make sure everyone else knows about that. You´ve had to experience it, too.

“Do you feel a bit better now?” Your question makes him stop pacing, because he actually takes the time to consider. He does feel a lot less angry now. Somehow, having someone who listens and doesn't try to give unnecessary advice did help after all. So he turns to face you and nods.

You smile in return. Then you look around, trying to think of what to do next. “What are your plans now?” you eventually ask. It´s almost 3 am.

The boy in front of you shrugs. He hasn´t thought that far, to be honest. So he wrecks his brain. “I am sure some bridge will have some space for me. Or maybe a bench in the park.”

Horror strikes your features. There is no way you will let him sleep under a bridge or on a park bench. The moment he sees your face, he starts laughing a little, amused by your evident disagreement with those suggestions.

“Are you insane? There is no way I will let you sleep out in the open. It´s getting cold at night these days. You will freeze to death!” you argue, letting it slide that he is having fun with your reactions.

“Any better suggestions?” He turns to look around your apartment, again, crossing his arms while he waits for an answer. Your walls are simple, just like the rest of the flat. White furniture, a few pastel colors here and there, pictures of you with your friends on the wall, and a frame of a family photo that includes a short message below it. He takes them in briefly, but the photo sticks with him. Especially when he reads what it says.

“If you don´t feel too uncomfortable with it, you can sleep on my couch, you know. It´s just one night. And it makes me feel better to know that you are not about to freeze your toes off,” you say as you finally clean up the mess from cleaning his wounds.

He considers it. Looks at you with a debating expression. Sees how you kind of avoid his gaze as you throw away the bloody tissues. And then says, “Alright. If you don´t mind my dirty clothes on it. I don´t want you to complain about me ruining your stuff.”

That earns him another scandalized expression from you. “Who do you take me for? I'm not some clean-freak who cries about the tiniest dust corn.”

Jeno lifts his arms in defense, trying not to laugh at you. Then he remembers something. While you start to take out a blanket from your closet, he suddenly asks you, “Why were you at the club the other night?”

You stop in your tracks. At first, you don´t know what he means. Then you remember your little act of desperation. You already tried to forget about that, again. The encounter had been embarrassing enough. But now you wonder how he knows. You still test him, though. “What do you mean?”

"Don't try to deny it. Lying doesn't suit you, snow lion.” His words ring in your ears. Especially that stupid nickname you gave yourself. Now you wonder even more how he knows. Didn´t Jaemin say he wasn´t there?

You turn around slowly, blanket in hand, as you march over to the couch to throw the piece of fabric onto it. “I was looking for you. After all, you decided not to show your face in front of my workplace anymore.” You admit. There is no need to make any excuses. Not after he vented to you. “I got worried.”

The mumble of your last words is barely audible, but he still hears them. Somehow, it warms his heart a little when he realizes that you went somewhere dangerous, just because you noticed that he broke the routine. And the fact that it made you worry about him. So he decides to explain himself a little. After all, he had a reason to keep his distance.

“I wanted to keep you out of trouble. That´s why I didn´t dare show my face anymore. I didn’t want anyone from my background to find you and ruin your life.” He admits simply. No laying it out in careful words. Just the truth.

“What do you mean? I just got the vase in that district. That's all. Why would that ruin my life?” you ask and turn to face him.

“People there are very perceptive. They definitely noticed you. And if they saw you with me, they would trace you just to hopefully find a vulnerability on my side,” he explains. “Y/N I have a lot of enemies. They will do everything to hurt me. And I simply wanted to keep you out of my world. So I decided distance was the best solution.”

You are stunned by his revelation. Because even though he didn´t outright say it, his words still proved that he worried about you just as much as you worried about him. And this makes something dawn on you. You are no longer just acquaintances.

“I see.” You don´t know what else to say. So you just get everything else ready. Eventually, a yawn escapes you as you fill yourself a glass of water and take a sip. The boy who now lounges on your couch notices and chuckles.

“I guess I´ve held you up long enough.” His words earn a nod from you. You make your way back to your bed, the exhaustion hitting you fully now.

“Sleep well. And don´t worry about anything. Feel at home, I guess,” you mumble, getting cozy under your blanket. Jeno chuckles a few meters away from you, but stays silent after. While you drift off to sleep, he can´t help but stay awake a little longer. His rage from earlier dissipated. And he is glad he has somewhere warm to sleep tonight. He is thankful for your help and worry. But deep down, something gnaws at his heart.

X. LITTLE PRINCESS

A few days later, you are on a walk to clear your mind. Of course, the morning after Jeno crashed at your place, he was gone before you woke up. You only saw the blanket neatly folded and a note that said “thank you” next to it. The gesture was cute, but for some reason, you still hoped he wouldn´t be gone. Then again, he has no reason to stay any longer. After all, you are just getting to know each other.

Not fretting over his decision to leave any more, because, honestly, it´s really not that big of a deal, you find yourself walking alongside the park in your area. It´s one of your favorite spots in the city because it´s a place full of nature. It helps you destress and free your head when you feel overwhelmed. And that´s what´s currently going on.

Your mind is fully occupied. The things that happened are a lot to take in, and you started questioning your role in all of this. You don´t really have any answers for anything. Except maybe that Jeno is someone you care about more than you would like to admit. And his story with his sister pulls at your heart because now you really want to help. But you have no idea how.

You don´t even know if he wants your help in the first place. Maybe you are overstepping boundaries. But you know, looking away and not doing anything will bother you more. So here you are, trying to free your mind in hopes of coming to a decision.

The candy you bought before coming here isn´t helping you either. And as nice as the view of the park and the ducks that are on their way back to the small trench in the middle of it is, they are not having the strongest effects.

Giving up on your walk, you start to turn the corner to go back home. You walk past other people and dodge some running children before you reach the trail that guides you in the right direction. Still caged in your mind, you barely register the things around you. It´s like you are on autopilot.

That´s when your mind suddenly plays tricks on you. You can hear laughing. And right after you think you hear the man responsible for your mental restlessness. But you know it can’t be. At least you want to believe it can´t. Because you really never know what the universe has in store for you. So when you think you hear Jeno again, you finally look up, in hopes of proving yourself wrong.

There is a playground to your left. It´s not big, but it has everything a child´s heart desires. At first, you see another pair of parents with their son near the slide. But when you look behind the wooden structure that has the slide attached, you actually see a guy with familiar red hair. And he is pushing the swing gently, making the little girl sitting on it laugh.

You stop in your tracks. Your mind goes blank for a second before you start wondering how it´s possible that you keep running into this guy. Before he first stormed into the cafe, you had never seen him before. So why does he suddenly cross paths with you seemingly every time you decide to leave the house?

Knowing that there is no answer to this question, you stop thinking about it altogether. But then you start watching them. Jeno is really gentle with the little girl. He talks to her and listens to her demands when it comes to pushing her more. You know she is only a little over 2 years old, but you have to say, she is fairly talkative and speaks well for her age. It´s adorable seeing them interact, too. The way she laughs whenever she comes back down, swinging in his direction just to get pushed by him forward again. You can see the care in his controlled power. The way he makes sure not to go too hard so she wouldn't fall. It makes you smile, too.

You keep observing their dynamic, not hurrying to make a move anytime soon. You don´t want to interrupt and intrude. That's why you decide to stay where you are. Eventually, Bom urges to go to the slide. She kicks her legs, ready to jump off the still swinging swing. But Jeno steps in and catches her before she has the chance to hurt herself. The tiny girl giggles when her brother lifts her up and into his arms. The sight is warming your heart so much, you register too late that the boy is turning around. It´s only when he stops in his tracks and looks at you with a frozen expression of surprise that you realize that you are standing there like some creep, watching two people play peacefully.

You freeze up, too, not daring to move anywhere. You try to avert your gaze. And plan your escape route so you can just bolt away, avoiding explaining yourself. But the hurried demand from the little girl for her brother to finally bring her to the slide has you stay exactly where you are.

Jeno snaps out of his short freeze-up quicker than expected and walks over to the chute. He sets the little girl down and lets her slide down the small slope. The girl laughs cheerily, waiting for her big brother to pick her up and set her down at the top again. But he doesn´t react quickly enough, too occupied by still looking at you with an unreadable expression.

“Oppa!” she says, trying to catch his attention. But because he is too focused on something else, she slowly turns and gets off the slide, and walks over to him to pull at his pants to try and get his attention that way.

When Jeno feels the pressure of someone pulling at the fabric of his pants, he finally looks back down and sees the somewhat grumpy expression on Bom´s face. He is about to let out a chuckle when the little girl points at the girl he´s been staring at and asks, “Who that?”

Her pouting expression, mixed with the grumpy furrow of her eyebrows, softens his heart. But then he registers her question, and he is back to looking at you all over again. This time, however, he struggles to find the right term to explain who you are. He thinks and considers a few options. But ultimately, he settles for the simplest thing. “That´s a new friend I made.”

His answer satisfies the small girl. For now. And she is back to looking at you, too. You feel a bit like you are trapped in some sort of spotlight, which makes you feel just the tiniest bit uncomfortable. But you can´t bolt away now. It would only make this more awkward than it already is. So instead, you opt for simply waving at Bom and showing her a sincere smile.

The girl turns back to Jeno and lifts her arms. Understanding her want, he lifts her and sets her down on top of the slide. Before sliding down, the girl looks at you for a second time and then finally moves.

You try to contain the laugh that’s daring to surface. Bom is truly adorable with her dominant behavior. And you can tell that she has Jeno wrapped around her finger. Clearly, he will do everything to make her happy. What you don´t expect is the fact that this time, she doesn't go to her brother. No. She walks towards you. And before you even get the chance to do or say something, she already has her hand wrapped around your fingers and tries to pull you with her.

Perplexed, you give in and follow. And in the next moment, you stand next to the red-haired man, lifting his baby sister so she can slide a third time. “This… is unexpected.” He breaks the silence between you two, clearing his throat right after to get rid of the hoarse sound that came out.

“Hmm? What is?” you ask awkwardly, not looking at him whatsoever.

“The fact that she just went up to you and pulled you with her. She usually never does this,” he explains, watching Bom walk up to him, and then lifts her to the top again.

“Wait, really?” You can´t believe that´s actually true. And because you are in disbelief, you turn your head and look at him with raised eyebrows.

He turns to face you, too. His nod is short but serious. “Bom is wary of strangers. So this is new.”

You inhale and return your gaze to the small girl. “I guess I should feel honored then?” you question, not expecting an answer to that.

Silence settles between you for a few minutes, in which you either watch or lift Bom to the top, over and over again. Then, when the awkwardness finally fades a bit, you take the courage to start a real conversation. “So, how are you?”

The question takes him by surprise. The genuine interest in your voice isn´t exactly something he is used to. He considers lying. Trying to avoid a deeper conversation about his personal issues. But then he remembers how you helped him without questioning him. How you listened and gave him the option to vent. And how you let him stay the night and treated his wounds, even though he is technically just a stranger. So he decides to be honest.

“Could be better. A lot is going on at the moment,” he says, not sugarcoating or dramatizing anything.

Trying to ask if everything is fine with his family situation would be stupid on your end. So you stop yourself from asking that generic question. You know it´s not. He´s told you enough to guess that things are still the same, and that it´s likely why he is outside with Bom right now. “Did more happen?”

Your bluntness takes him off guard. He knows you aren´t stupid. But he didn´t expect you to ask straight up if anything else threw him off these past days. He doesn´t know if he wants to reveal it to you, either. The playground doesn´t exactly feel like the best spot to talk about these kinds of things. But much to his confusion, he feels oddly secure, so he ends up answering honestly, again.

“My mom threw her debt onto me. So I am currently kind of trying to hide from some loan sharks, while also taking care of my sister.” His words are dry. Simple. As if he´s talking about the weather. The moment you hear them, though, your head turns to face him. And horror is written all over your features.

“You are kidding me, right?” you ask in disbelief. You know he´s not. But the way this situation turned into something even worse has you baffled. How can someone be so unlucky?

“I wish I were,” he chuckles and looks at his feet. “It´s really stressing me out, actually.”

He is laughing about the ridiculousness of the situation. But deep down, he is struggling to hold on. Because he has no solution to this problem. It´s impossible for him to earn that much money in such a short time. Especially because those shady guys are already at his neck, tracking him down, and bothering him about a deadline to finally pay up.

You keep looking at him with the most serious expression in your inventory. Your arms are crossed, and your mind is still comprehending the reveal. Immediately, you try to find solutions, too. But nothing comes up. You open your mouth regardless, ready to say something. But he interrupts you.

“No. I don´t want anyone to help me like that. It makes no difference. I would just have to repay the debt to someone else.” You close your mouth again upon hearing him say it. It makes sense to you. So you don´t argue against it.

Defeated, you watch Bom play at the play frame, while your mind is racing. “You know, if it helps in any other way…you can always crash at my place or ring me up if you need an open ear for anything. There isn´t much I can do. So at least let me offer emotional support.”

Your gentle words reach his ears, and he has to process them a little to fully grasp your offer. He looks at you with wide eyes and is met with your determined gaze. You are totally serious about what you just said. And you make that clear to him with your honesty.

It takes a few seconds for him to respond. But eventually, he mutters few words. “Thank you.”

Before the conversation can keep going in any way, Bom is back in front of them and takes your hand into hers again. She pulls you with her, your feet relenting before you can protest. So you follow her and help her climb the monkey bars, holding onto her, and focusing on every move so she wouldn't fall.

Jeno watches. His mind is a mess. Even more than before. You are truly something in his eyes. It´s as if the universe sent him a guardian. First, you lie for him in front of the police. Then you take care of him without demanding anything in return. And now you are playing with his sister as if she´s known you for months, and offering him support throughout his sticky situation. What did he do to deserve this kindness?

Later that afternoon, when you had to say goodbye because you had to get ready for your next shift, he walks back home with Bom. The tiny girl is holding onto his fingers like always, guiding the familiar way. She is oddly quiet. Until she breaks her silence and surprises him with her words.

“I like friend.”

He looks at her with a surprised expression, ready to ask her to repeat that. But then the little girl stops and lifts her arms. He does what he always does and lifts her up. Then he looks at her. “You like Y/N?”

Bom nods. Her innocent eyes looking into his eyes with her usual sincerity. Jeno takes in her response, and then exhales a heavy breath. If his sister likes you, he is sure he should trust you, too.

XI. FIRST VISIT

Can you come over?

[location]

It´s a simple message. Unexpected. And seemingly normal. But your gut tells you something is off. Jeno never texted you before. This is the first time. It being a direct location with this seemingly simple request tells you something is up. So you get ready quickly and walk the distance to what you assume is his apartment.

When you reach the address, you look through the names on the doorbells, trying to find his unit as fast as possible. That´s when you realize you don´t even know his last name. Frustrated, you take out your phone and dial his number instead.

It rings. Once. Twice. A third time. Then, someone picks up. “I´m here,” you say. There is no answer. In the next moment, the door in front of you makes a sound, and you push it open.

“Third floor,” is all he says before he ends the call. His tone sounds hoarse. You can definitely tell that something has shaken him up. You are already glad he even decided to text you in the first place. So you don´t hesitate and climb the stairs as fast as possible.

On the third floor, you stop in front of the slightly open door. You debate on just entering or not. But then you hear a crash, so all your doubts vanish, and you just enter anyway. Your shoes are off within seconds, and your jacket is thrown over the shoe rack before you hurry into what you assume is his living room.

His place is small. Simple. Messy. But you don´t care. Your eyes dart around until they find the man in question. He is busy sweeping away shards of broken glass when he sees you. And you have to say, he looks rough. Before he gets to say anything, you ask him, “What happened?”

The slump in his shoulders is apparent. He keeps you waiting, taking his sweet time to throw away the broken glass and put away the dustpan. Then he faces you, looks at you shortly, and sighs in defeat. It takes him visible effort to open his mouth and explain himself. You see how hard it is for him to accept the option to lean on you and tell you what´s going on.

But then, when he finally feels ready to open up, his first words awaken every fiber of your being. Alert flashes through you, and you understand why he looks like such a mess.

“They want to take away Bom.”

The words keep repeating in your head. His effort to try and keep it together tears your heart in two. Your mind is racing. Questions over questions cloud it. You try to ground yourself. And then you ask for specifics. “What do you mean? Who are they? What exactly do they want to do?”

Jeno´s hands ball into fists. His jaw clenches. Then he looks at you. “My mom and her stupid boyfriend want to get rid of her. So they plan to take her somewhere. They won´t let me see her anymore.” The tension in his body is evident. It takes every bit of effort for him to stay this calm and not destroy something. “I don´t know what to do. It´s not like I can take care of her on my own.”

You swallow. You know how much she means to him. And you know she can´t stay with their mom, either. You try to think up things, but your mind comes up with nothing. At least for now. “They are cruel for trying to separate you from her. Jeno, I´m so sorry they are doing this to you.”

Comfort is what you try to give him for now. Solutions can come later. It´s important that he calms down first. So you carefully move closer to him and place your hand on his shoulder, gauging if he accepts the gesture. When he doesn´t move away, you keep it there, gently rubbing the spot in hopes it calms him down.

“It probably feels impossible to fix, but I am sure we will find a solution. For now, let´s try and calm down a bit.” You speak in a soft tone, carefully using each word in hopes it helps in any way. You can feel the tension below your palm. The way his muscles can´t relax because he is still on edge with all the frustration.

The boy inhales, trying to stay levelheaded. He knows you are right. But he can´t help but feel hopelessness. “What am I supposed to do? My life is too messy. There is no way a lawyer would speak on my behalf. I can´t even afford one. My mom knows how to play these games. She will paint herself as the victim. And then once Bom is gone, I will never see her again because the family that takes care of her will demonize me.”

His worries and fears pool out of him. You feel the strain in your chest while listening to him. “Jeno, I know shit is messy. Sure, your way of earning money is sketchy as fuck. But there is no denying that you care for your sister dearly. The way she clings to you when you handle her is proof enough. Any judge will recognize that.” You try to silence his destructive thoughts first, in hopes of lessening the fear.

“I am sure it won't come far enough for Bom to live with another family, either. Stuff like this takes time. They will investigate the situation at your mom´s home first, too,” you keep going, quickly realizing you are rationalizing too much and not focusing on emotions enough.

Jeno keeps quiet while listening to your words. They don´t exactly soothe the ache he is feeling right now, but he notices the effort and that you´re actually trying to help him. Still, the burning rage that slumbers deep inside him wants to escape.

“As I said, all of this is pretty hard to bear. Parents who are too absorbed in their own business are a poison ready to spread into your own life, ruining it with every step. I understand how that feels. But even though this feels like a hopeless situation, I can reassure you that we will find a way to fix this mess.” You finish your little talk of motivation, hoping it at least did something to soothe him.

But unexpectedly, the boy next to you suddenly lashes out. He moves away from you and looks at you with accusing eyes. You can´t point out the reason for this sudden behavior change, but the way he goes off on you doesn´t faze you much at all.

“You don´t understand anything! I have to take care of everything myself! My family has always been poor! Things never go in my favor! Life has always been a bitch! You, with your rich family throwing every cent after you, have no idea how it feels to provide for a lost cause of a mother and a baby. You don't know how it feels to struggle like this. When the world seems to be against you, and keeps showing you how little it´s worth to try and keep surviving.” To end his frustrated speech, he kicks a chair to the side, redirecting his frustrations against an object.

While he goes off on you, you just stand there, face neutral and unbothered, watching him. You have no idea where he got the idea that your life had any prestige, but it doesn´t matter at this very moment. When you see him pant a bit and sense that his verbal expression has done something to the tension inside his body, you cross your arms. “Are you done?”

He expected you would yell at him. Fight him. Protest against whatever he just accused you of. But your unbothered response takes him off guard. Out of reflex, he looks at you with a surprised face.

“Look. I don´t know where you got all of that from. I am not saying life hasn´t been shit. Sure, I haven´t experienced the exact things you did. But I know how it feels to carry everything on my own shoulders. The universe doesn´t magically give way out of poverty and struggle. Hell, it dumps even more on you when you think it can´t get any worse. What I was trying to make clear, however, is that you are not alone anymore. I am here right now because you asked me to come. So stop sabotaging yourself by helplessly lashing out like a pathetic dog and let me help you go through this!”

Your voice echoes firmly. He listens to everything you say, immediately regretting judging you. He acknowledges the effort, and his shoulders slump in defeat. “I´m sorry. I just- it feels hopeless,” he stammers, slowly sinking to the floor. You move closer to him again and crouch down next to him, placing your hand on his shoulder once more.

“It´s okay. I get it. Just know that I´m not your enemy. I'm on your side.” You reassure him, showing him that you mean what you are saying. “Give me a few days to gather some data. In the meantime, maybe check if any of your extended family has a way to lend a hand.” Hearing your suggestions, he accepts them. So he nods along and gives up trying to fight you, finally letting you in fully.

When he has calmed down, and you two sit on the small couch now, drinking some water, you break the silence that had settled. “By the way, if you are referring to that family portrait in my apartment. I may be from a prestigious family. Sure. They are rich and known throughout the city. But I have nothing from that. I chose to go my own way. And because my way isn´t what they envisioned for me, they pretty much cut me off. I haven´t spoken to my parents in over a year. And I refuse to visit them. They don´t accept me for who I am, so I won´t give them an ounce of my time.”

Your explanation makes sense to him, and he feels even worse for judging you like that when you haven´t ever judged him for his mess of a life. “I´m sorry for assuming things. I don´t really know anything about you. And I… I don´t know why I suddenly felt the need to try and push you away.”

You stop him before he can go on even more. “Jeno, I get it. That was a defense mechanism, and you were trying to self-sabotage. It´s fine. I know you didn´t mean it. If you want, I can tell you more about me, if it makes you feel more comfortable opening up about yourself.”

He looks at you, now visibly more relaxed, and gives you the first smile in a while. “I would appreciate it. Not gonna lie. Who exactly are you? You are a bit reckless sometimes, that I know. Turning up at my workplace just because I didn´t show up and endangering yourself. That´s the kind of person you are. But I know nothing surface-level. So enlighten me, please.”

You chuckle at his lighthearted tone, even slapping his arm for the implied teasing. “God, stop acting like I´m the one who´s insane. But okay. I will tell you the boring facts about me that you don´t know yet,” you say, and start listing things. You tell him that your family owns a successful business. That you have an older brother who despises you because you stray from what your parents want. That your grandparents are the only people you regularly call. That you had to work your ass off ever since high school because you wouldn´t get any support from anyone. And that you want to study social work one day to help kids in need.

For the rest of the evening, you keep talking, getting to know each other, and relaxing to the sound of loud neighbors and mediocre tap water. It´s nothing fancy, but it´s special regardless, because it´s your way of bonding and getting closer. The trust that the two of you are building. It´s necessary. And both of you are thankful that the other didn´t turn the opposite way. Because Jeno truly doesn´t know what he would've done if you weren't here, fighting with him.

XII. THESE GIFTS AREN´T FOR YOU

It´s roughly two weeks later when you meet up with Jeno again. Through frequent texting, you´ve gotten to know that his aunt also tried to talk to his mother about Bom and that he is currently taking her out on a playdate to the playground. So, while ready to meet them and enjoy some time together, you quickly enter a shop and buy a few small things on your way there.

15 minutes later, you speed walk around the corner, a bag in hand, as you wave once you see Jeno standing there holding his little sister. The moment he sees you, he starts smiling, bringing Bom´s attention to you as well. The little girl stares at you with a curious gaze when you greet her brother.

“I see you managed to get a hold of her. How is she?” you ask, slightly out of breath.

“She is fine. My aunt visited them every day insistently because she was scared they would do something bad,” he explains. And even though relief is obvious in his tone, you hear the underlying exhaustion from the anxiety he has faced for those days.

“Well, I´m glad your aunt is so supportive. Anyway, let´s enjoy the great weather. Bom, are you ready to play?” You divert the conversation, determined to steer away from the depressive reality. Life is too short to dwell on things, and besides that, you have good news to share, too.

Bom, who has been watching you for the past minute, gives you a toothy smile and approvingly claps her hands while nodding when you mention playing. You grin back at her and then speak up again. “Guess who got you a small present?” The question lights up her eyes even more. And when you take out a small box with a doll inside, she eagerly takes it from you and shows it to her brother.

Jeno at first plays into the enthusiasm of his little sister. But once Bom is busy inspecting the toy, he gives you a questioning look that´s accompanied by some disapproval. When he mumbles to you, you give him a look of question as well, raising your eyebrows. “Why did you buy her something? I don´t want you to use your money on us.”

“What makes you think I would spend a dime on you, huh? I brought a gift solely for your sister. Because I like her and I think she deserves something that makes her happy while she has to endure the circumstances. This has nothing to do with you,” you retort, seeing how his defenses want to go up. So you immediately break the chance for that to happen. “Can a grown woman not buy whatever she wants with her own money?”

The guy in front of you takes in your words and then rolls his eyes. He has to stop himself from chuckling at your response. Even though he´s gotten to know you a bit better, he still has to get used to your sassiness sometimes. And because he has no good arguments against your word, he simply accepts his defeat. “Fine. But that grown woman better not overdo it with the presents. I don't want Bom to get spoiled too much.”

“Alright. I can work with that.” You give him a sugar-sweet smile and then start to walk towards the playground. “Now then, if your feet aren´t set in stone, can we finally get going?”

“Are you saying I´m holding us up? How offensive,” he jokes in return and starts walking as well. “But fine, the lioness has spoken, so I will pick up the pace.” You roll your eyes at his teasing and keep going. Bom is still inspecting the box with the doll, totally in her own world. And Jeno settles right next to you, adapting to your pace as you get to the playground in comfortable silence.

When you finally arrive, he sets the little girl down and takes the box from her hands. He explains to her that he will take care of it while she plays so the doll won´t get hurt. And since Bom is satisfied with his reasoning, she happily runs off to play in the sand.

You come to a stand next to Jeno, keeping watch on the girl as she innocently minds her business. You feel happy inside. This normalcy gives you an out from your own troubles. Taking in a deep breath you relax a bit as the sun shines onto your skin. Jeno notices. He´s eyed you a bit after he got done putting away the doll into his bag. “How are you doing? You got fired from that second job you had a while ago. Any new jobs you´re starting soon?”

“No. Still looking for something new. I am so glad my boss at the cafe hasn´t also fired me. He´s kept an eye on me ever since I had to bring a new accessory for the cafe.” You tease the topic of the vase breaking once more as it has become a bit of an inside joke between you two. Jeno chuckles when he hears it and looks at the floor for a few seconds before returning his gaze to you.

“Sucks I guess. But hey, at least now you will do your job properly. Another criminal hiding behind your counter would surely get you fired.” The moment he is done speaking the sentence, you hit his arm with your fist. You have an amused smile on your lips, but you couldn´t let him off the hook that easily.

“I thought you were no criminal?” You turn to face him and see the grin on his face, mirroring your lighthearted demeanor.

“It´s because I'm not. But I can´t help but tease you a little. I am still sorry about that vase, too. Truly.” He shortly looks at Bom, to see if she's still alright and busy playing. Then he looks back at you.

“Sure you are,” you say, making both of you laugh. “You know, I´ve got good news for you.” The sudden change in topic has him listen to you intently. He´s curious to hear what you have to say, so he looks at you with raised eyebrows.

When you face him and see the look on his face, you can´t help but think of a puppy. But before you drift off into unserious conversations again, you want to tell him first. “I´ve spoken to a lawyer. I may not associate with my family much, but I took the courtesy of using my name a bit. And well, the chances are high that your Mom won´t get away with what she´s doing. I just need to know if you are willing to fight this battle against her and her boyfriend.”

Your face turns more serious. And once you are done speaking, you wait for his response. You don´t mind if he takes a moment to fully grasp what you just said.

He thinks over the facts and the stakes. This whole legal battle that will happen because of his mother´s stupid decisions. It´s going to be stressful and he knows it will cost him a lot of nerves. He will have to rely on other parts of his family. But when he looks at Bom playing so carelessly he knows what he has to do.

“I won´t be able to take care of her on my own. And I am sure, with my history, a judge won´t grant me any custody or stuff like that. I don´t have the money to support her.” He lays out his honest thoughts to you. “But I hope my aunt has the heart to take on the responsibility. I know she is off well, and she would definitely give her a safer home. So, if you are willing to help me out with this, I can´t say no to a better life for my sister.”

You don´t say anything unnecessary after that. You simply nod. “I will give your contacts to the lawyer then, so she can reach out to you.” You pause for a moment after saying that. “You are doing the right thing, Jeno. She will thank you for fighting for her when she´s older.”

“I know. I can´t help but see myself in her. I don´t want her to end up like me.” There is an unreadable tone in his voice when he says this. But you can see the way his inner child mourns an adult who never fought for him when his mom started drifting off. So you put your hand on his shoulder.

“She will see you as the best big brother she could ever have. And you will be able to see her grow up without having to worry about her.” Your words make him smile. He looks at Bom again and then imagines her in her teens, complaining about boys being stupid. How she cries after her first heartbreak. And how he will probably beat up whatever guy dares to scare her. “How can I repay you for this?”

The question takes you off guard. It´s readable in your expression. You recover fast, however, and set one thing straight. "Don't worry about the money. The lawyer owes my family a favor.”

Jeno nods in understanding and decides not to question you on this. He simply wants to trust you, so he expresses his gratitude with simple words. “Thank you.” And while it sounds like a simple saying to anyone else, you hear the double meaning. Thank you, for helping me with this, and being there for me and my sister.

You stay with Jeno and Bom for a while longer and end up pushing the little girl on the swing for at least 30 minutes at some point. You only say goodbye to them when the sun starts setting, again with the reason of having to get ready for your shift at the cafe. The girl hugs you happily when you part ways, and Jeno waves you goodbye with a happiness readable in his expression. He only starts to turn around and walk away when he no longer sees you.

On his way back to his apartment, he carries Bom in his arms, walking at a relaxed pace. The girl is visibly tired, and definitely dozing off. The way she stays so unusually quiet is the tell-tale sign for him.

As he walks through the familiar streets, he eventually picks up voices behind him. He doesn´t pay them any mind at first. But when they come closer and he starts to hear the threatening jabs that are too obviously directed at him, he senses the danger.

His pace quickens, but he can´t run because of his sister. The guys behind him pick up the pace as well, and eventually corner him to the side of the wall when they reach him. He immediately recognizes their faces and instinctively shields his sister with his arms.

“What do you want?” Jeno´s voice is ice cold. The grinning stares of the men in front of him loom over him, clearly trying to intimidate him. Unsuccessfully. Bom, who´s sleeping in his arms, luckily doesn´t notice any of this, too deep in her slumber.

“You know what we want. Pay up for that slut and we won´t bother you anymore,” one of them says in a twisted manner. He clearly enjoys this way too much.

“You have two weeks. If we don´t see the money by then, we will have to take something else as payment.” The second guy grins and glances at the kid in his grasp.

Jeno immediately changes his posture and gives him the deadliest stare he´s ever shown someone.

“Oh don´t worry, the kid is not on the list of things we are interested in. But maybe that girl that´s been hanging around you. She´s young. She will surely sell well.” The third guy says. That´s when it dawns on Jeno. They´ve been watching him. So they can have leverage over him.

The moment the realization sets in, he knows he has to do something. His lack of a response makes the 3 guys in front of him chuckle. “Two weeks, kid. If you can´t bring us the money by then, you know what's up.” And with those words they leave him standing there.

He starts walking again eventually. His pace is quick as his brain thinks up ways to earn the money as fast as possible. He knows he will have to take every fight he can get. He also knows you surely won't like that when you find out about it. But he has no choice.

On his way back, he carries his sister as protective as ever while his brain plays out every way the next month will go down. He feels like he is slowly losing it. Why is the universe so unfair to him? One good message gets overpowered by a bad one a few hours later. And then, he starts to wonder just what did he do wrong to deserve all this?

XIII. YOU WOULDN`T FIT IN - YEAH? WATCH ME

Only a few days have passed. This time you are on your phone, busy on a call with Jeno while doing laundry and other stuff. His excuse for not actually meeting up was that he has no time, but here you are, talking for at least an hour already, the call seemingly never ending.

“Say, are you still doing that shady club fighting thing?” you ask as you hang up a t-shirt.

His voice sounds a bit raspy when he responds, but you blame it on the staggering connection that decided to cut off the call for several seconds here and there. “Yeah. Why are you asking?”

“I feel like the bruises have become less. But maybe you just learned how to use make up. Or you stopped sucking at fighting. Either would explain it,” you retort, clearly teasing him. You have no idea if he´s good or bad. You´ve never seen him fight.

He stays silent for a few seconds, somewhat shocked by your bold statement. “Hey, you can´t judge my fighting at all. You´ve never seen it. Getting hurt is part of the business. But yeah, I´ve had less fights these past few weeks. Was too busy to attend any.”

“Why do I suddenly get the intuitive, knowing urge that this will change in the near future? Jeno, are you up to something?” You´ve always been perceptive. And something in the way he just said that makes your senses go haywire. There is definitely something.

His lack of a response confirms your sudden suspicion even more. So you pry. “Jeno. Please tell me I am wrong with my hunch.”

“Uhm… I just decided I am simply not going to answer that question,” he diverts. And you can imagine him looking around in his apartment as if he is trying to avoid your gaze.

“Oh my god, Jeno. I swear. That weird ass job of yours is going to kill you one day. Remember when you showed up at my window? I thought you surely will turn up with broken bones the next time. And then after that I am at the hospital having to identify a body because they can´t recognize you anymore.” Your voice cuts through to him, overly dramatic.

“You are overreacting. There is no way that will ever happen. It´s not like you can judge me on this anyway. As I said. You´ve never seen me do my thing. I´ve never lost,” he argues, rolling his eyes upon hearing your hysterics.

“I mean, how would I know? I don´t walk around those areas. And I don´t have time to go clubbing either. I can only assume based on the amount of cuts and bruises on your face.” You hang up the next t-shirt when you hear the boy chuckle.

“Yeah, well you wouldn't fit in anyway. Even though, maybe I should show you just how well I do in my fights,” he laughs, not fully realizing what he just indirectly said.

“Excuse me? Are you inviting me to watch you fight? While insulting me at the same time?” Your voice rings higher, and you stop in your tracks, still holding up a clothing item while you wait for his answer.

Jeno swallows when he realizes his mistake. Now he is pacing around in his living room, trying to figure out how to keep you away from the club scene. “I mean, forget what I said about seeing me fight. I don´t need to prove anything to you, so I will just let you doubt me when it comes to my capabilities. And what can I say? you look…too innocent. You would stick out with your cutesy style. Everyone will think some school girl strayed away from her usual route home.”

“…” The boy swallows when he gets no response right away. He knows he definitely said something wrong. His blood freezes the moment he hears your delayed response, however. “I see you still know so little about me. You know what? Give me a time and a date and I will prove you wrong.”

“What? No. I am not going to do that. I don´t want you there. It´s too dangerous.” He tries to stop you. Desperately. The scene really is nothing he wants you to get into.

“Are you scared you will embarrass yourself? That you will lose the fight or whatever? All because a woman shows up?” You intentionally try to rile him up with your words, hoping this tactic will work. Because now he has you curious. You´ve been to the club before. It wasn´t exactly your cup of tea. And yes, maybe you were a bit scared when you had to get the vase. But you feel like this is a challenge. And now you refuse to back down. You want to prove him wrong.

There is a sigh on the other line. You are guessing he is massaging his face in hopes of calming his nerves while trying to find a solution to the problem he created. But he is aware of your stubbornness. So he slowly gives in, not fond of you trying to talk him down like this, either. “Fine. On Friday, I have a match against some tough guy. If you wanna see it, be there at midnight. But seriously. You will stick out like a doll in a cage full of animals.”

“Ah yeah? You sure? Watch me. I´ll be there. And you better win. Or I will hold this against you every time you show up with a bruise or cut after that.” You accept the challenge. And now, with determination burning in your blood, you are already plotting your next step.

“Prove me wrong then. But I´m telling you. This scene isn´t for you.” He still argues, frustrated about this situation that he created. But now there is no going back. And because he doesn´t want to escalate the situation even further, he finally redirects the conversation to something else.

۶ৎ

That said Friday, you meet up with one of your best friends in the early afternoon. You´ve told her about your mission for the night a few days ago, and had to explain to her your whole endeavor with Jeno. She´s surprised about you blindly supporting a stranger, but simultaneously starts teasing you about possible attraction.

“Yuqi stop, just because he looks good, doesn't mean I'm instantly interested in him. We are friends now. Nothing more,” you argue while you style your hair.

“Friends now, lovers later. It´s not impossible. And I´m telling you, you are already interested, even if you don´t wanna admit it. You never would do things like right now under any other circumstance,” she argues back, totally smiling while she curls her hair.

You can´t deny that you are certainly going out of your way for him to try and fix things. “But that's just because of Bom. That girl is so cute. And she deserves better. It pains me to see them struggle.”

“Oh his sister surely is part of it. But she can´t be the only reason if you already started doing stuff before that. I mean you said you already willingly went into that club because you wanted to look for him out of worry. Who does that as a simple acquaintance?”

You have to bite your lip when you hear her mention your desperate attempt at searching for him. Your silence is answer enough for Yuqi as well, so she chuckles and keeps curling her hair. “Hey, see it for what it is, and simply enjoy it.”

You roll your eyes and keep styling your hair before you start on your make up. “Anyway, I can´t believe that he thinks I can´t fit in in a simple club. Who does he think he is?”

“That´s what I´m here for. We are going to dress up and prove a man wrong. Simple as that.” Yuqi chuckles and goes over to your wardrobe. “It´s time you finally wear one of those slutty skirts you have.” The moment her words leave her mouth she turns around and holds out a short mini skirt and a glittery top that will definitely accentuate your curves.

“And you are sure that will suit me?” you ask skeptically. In theory, you know that all the girls you´ve seen in the club wore similar things. And you know that these clothes will fit you well enough, too. But you´ve never been one to wear short things, instead opting for more comfortable ones and an academic style.

Your friend scoffs when she hears your doubt. “Excuse me, where did your confidence go? Of course it will. You are a nonchalant queen, so just wear your head up high as always.” Her words make you smile as they fuel your confidence. So you chuckle, too, forgetting about the uncertainty.

Once your make up is done, you get ready and put on the skirt and top and some necessary accessories that compliment the outfit. To round off your look, you put on some high heels and take the purse Yuqi brought with her. Before you two leave the house, you quickly reapply some lipstick and grab your jacket.

Then you start your walk to the club, taking your time and talking about lots of other things since this evening also serves as time to catch up. You haven´t had the chance to see her lately, due to all of your shifts piling up. So doing this makes you even more happy.

۶ৎ

The bass is booming, and the music echoes loudly. Sweaty bodies mingle, and alcohol and drugs are part of the menu for the night. The club looks exactly like the last time you went there. This time, though, you blend in seamlessly. The scene isn´t as scary as before. With Yuqi by your side, you are actually a little bit excited.

Jeno said to be there at midnight. It´s exactly 30 minutes before that. Still enough time is left to properly get used to the vibe and the people there. Yuqi takes your hand the second you stride through the crowd to get close to the bar.

“Let’s start with a drink to loosen up,” she says and orders something for both of you. In the meantime, you look around properly, and take everything in.

In the middle of the main room is a fighting cage. You already know what’s going to happen there later. Behind it the DJ is playing music, getting everyone in a good mood and making sure it never gets boring. Surrounding the cage, most of the people are dancing and having fun.

When you look upstairs you see the balconies and how more people are chatting, drinking and dancing there, waiting for the fight to start and setting their bets on who will win. In one corner you see Jeno’s face showing up on a screen. Next to it, bold letters show the ‘VS’ and right after another face of a guy follows. Below it reads ‘Christopher Bang’.

You swallow, seeing the fierce stare of the second guy. Worry creeps up your spine, but before you can do anything or overthink, your friend puts her hand on your shoulder to get your attention.

“Here, your drink,” she says and looks around while taking a sip from the sweet concoction. “The music is really good. Not gonna lie, I thought it would suck.” Her chuckle barely rings through to you, due to the loud bass. You nod in agreement, however, and keep scanning your surroundings.

Then, in one corner, you spot a familiar face. The guy who talked to you last time—Jaemin—is standing there, reviewing some papers with another guy. You keep watching him for a few seconds, curious as to what he is doing, until he suddenly looks up. As if he sensed you looking at him, he stares right in your direction with a questioning gaze, trying to figure out who is watching him so intently.

Automatically, you grab Yuqi´s hand and start walking towards the guy. The girl follows you, trying to ask what´s up, but you are too focused on snaking through the crowd to get to your destination. Once you reach him, you stop in your tracks, Yuqi almost bumping into you and spilling her drink. She keeps looking at you with a questioning gaze.

“What do I need to know about the fight?” Your voice reaches Jaemin´s ears boldly, and he points his attention fully on you the moment he hears it. The way his expression stays hard, tells you he has no clue who you are. The guy he´s been talking to, senses the tension and quickly moves away, not in the mood to get in between whatever is going to happen between you two.

“And who are you?” he asks, fairly serious. A contrast to the last time he took care of you in the club. As a response you keep staring at him, not backing down and giving him the satisfaction of having the upper hand. Your face reads figure it out and he certainly likes the challenge.

After intense eye contact and him eyeing your whole face, it finally clicks for him. “My, oh my, snow lion. What are you doing here again? I didn´t recognize you at all.” His voice rings through to you over the loud music, even though it takes you a few seconds to fully register his words.

“Drop the nickname, bunny boy, and answer my question. What do I need to know about the fight?” You sound as serious as ever. And Yuqi can´t help but simply observe the interaction, too stunned about the fire behind your eyes, herself. Jaemin on the other hand, takes in your words.

He starts to grin. And then, a maniacal laugh escapes his mouth. He did not expect you to hit him with a nickname at all. And your choice brings him even more amusement. “Oh, I see why he likes you. You are a crazy one. But hey, if you want me to call you by your name. How about you tell me?” The grin on his lips doesn´t vanish as he keeps his confidence in front of you, not at all intimidated or scared by your change in demeanor.

“It´s Y/N. Now would you please enlighten me? Time is limited.” Your face stays straight. There is barely any emotion besides the seriousness and a hint of curiosity.

“Straight to business. I like it. Well, what exactly do you want to know? It starts in roughly 20 minutes. And I sure as hell wouldn't recommend that you stand too close to the cage. Unless you want your clothes ruined by blood,” he says, slightly relaxing his shoulders, now that he knows who you are.

“Everything that´s necessary. How this whole business works. How the fights are structured. Whatever you know about today´s opponent. Everything.” There is a beat of worry in your voice as you list a few things you want to know. And the guy in front of you recognizes the intent behind your curiosity.

His eyes soften a bit and he places a hand on your shoulder, feeling the tension in your muscles. “Aright, Y/N. Listen closely. There are 3 rounds. Whoever gets knocked out first loses. And the winner earns the bet money. These guys fight with fists. No gloves or anything. Almost everything is allowed. Chris is a strong dude. But I know that Jeno will succeed. He´s just gotta stay focused. That´s all.”

He leans closer to your ear so you can fully hear him. “If you want a good spot to watch him, you gotta go right over there.” Your eyes follow his finger that points to a certain spot near the cage with less dancing people close to it. “Now, relax your shoulders a bit, sit your sweet ass down somewhere, and wait for the action to start. There is no need to worry about him. He´s faced worse opponents.”

When he´s done telling you all this, you look at him again. Your expression is unreadable. You kind of want to say something, but your mouth stays closed. A simple nod is what you give him before you face Yuqi and signal her to move elsewhere.

Before you are fully out of earshot, Jaemin yells one last thing at you. “Enjoy the show, tiger.” Then he hurries off. After all, he has to mentally prepare his best friend for the fight.

“What a weirdo,” Yuqi tells you as she follows you to the corner Jaemin showed you. “So, we are going to watch this fight. I finally get to see this Jeno guy for the first time. And then what? Are we just going to dip and dash?”

You shake your head. “First of all, that idiot has to prove himself. After saying confident shit, I have to witness it for myself. And after that, depending on how the fight goes, it would be too bad to go right after. We just got here. and we didn't get dolled up for nothing, did we? So might as well enjoy the music and ignore the shadiness of the place.”

“Sounds like a plan.” The girl smiles at you and sips on the straw of her cocktail again. “Ay now try yours already. You haven't taken a sip yet. Tell me how it tastes,” she then urges and you laugh at her silly ways.

۶ৎ

Right when the clock hits midnight, the lights in the club dim down and the DJ's voice echoes through the main hall of the club. People are cheering excitedly when the showdown finally starts. The music starts matching the atmosphere, too, and you feel your heartbeat pick up speed with it.

The moment all of this starts, the vibe in the club fully changes. You can feel the adrenaline rush, and out of instinct you look to the cage that´s illuminated by show lights to emphasize the main stage.

You don´pick up anything the DJ is saying. Only when he drops the name `Lee Jeno` do your ears start working again and you start to hear everything more clearly. A door opens close to where you are standing with Yuqi. And then cheers erupt.

There he is. Walking proudly to the cage. His hands are wrapped. He´s wearing white shorts, a matching tank top, and over it a white jacket. Jeno looks fierce. You can sense that he hasn´t spotted you yet. Your eyes follow him, and when he enters the cage, he greets the watchers as if he's been doing this his whole life.

Then, on the other side, another door opens, and out walks a guy you assume is Christopher Bang. He looks the same as the screen shows him, serious face, scary expression, broad. He´s out for blood. You can feel it. In contrast to Jeno, he´s dressed in all black. His hands are wrapped, and you realize Jaemin was right. No gloves on either of them.

Your feet carry you closer to the cage as Chris enters it. He does a similar greeting to the watchers and then, surprisingly, he shakes Jeno's hand in a fair manner. Then you notice how Jaemin enters the cage, while some other guy goes up to Chris as well.

Of course, Jaemin is Jeno´s friend. It´s only natural that he will support him and help with strategies and so on. You notice how they are whispering something. Then, Jeno stiffens visibly. His gaze sweeps through the crowd more precisely, until his eyes land right on your figure.

You freeze, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. He stares into your soul, but you can´t read his thoughts one bit. He just looks at you for a few seconds until he averts his gaze and focuses on the task at hand.

“Wow, he looks really scary, but also strangely hot.” Yuqi´s unserious remark snaps you out of your haze and you turn to face her with a look of disbelief. “What? It´s just an observation.” The girl shrugs and goes back to drinking her cocktail while scouting out the crowd and watching what happens inside the cage.

Strangely, you can´t help but chuckle. Her lighthearted demeanor is exactly what you need to hold out in this kind of environment. And you are glad you asked her to tag along after all. Coming alone wasn´t an option from the start. Choosing the right company was a challenge. You didn´t want to drag anyone into this. But best friends are there for such adventures. And Yuqi never says no to anything when it means she can help you with whatever you´ve set your mind on.

Your focus returns to the main stage. Jaemin and the other guy have left, and now it's just the two fighters left inside. Jeno has taken off his jacket and is now stretching and seemingly cracking his knuckles one last time before shaking out his arms and wrists. He seems ready to fight, and the intimidating guy across from him does too.

The DJ shouts through the hall another time, riling up the crowd and getting everyone to scream and yell in excitement. And then, a countdown starts. Before you know it, both men are in action. Their movements are fast and coordinated. You watch intensely,looking out for whatever happens.

The moment the first hit lands you gasp out of surprise. Sure, you knew what this was about and how this was going to go down. But seeing it in real time, witnessing how two humans intentionally hurt each other has your stomach churn.

Your hands clasp your mouth when Chris tries to hit Jeno head on. The latter barely moves in time to avoid getting hit fully, and swings forward right after, wanting to get a hit in himself. Your eyes follow their movements as if you´re in a trance. And slowly, the cheers and screams around you turn into messy background noise.

The first round seems easy. Both guys are full of energy. Punches and hits are exchanged. Feet move fast. But the longer it takes for either of them to take the other down, it seems like Chris has the upper hand.

Jeno seemingly focuses more on defense. Blood is already dripping down his cheek from an earlier graze of Chris´ fist. You have no idea about the logistics of any of this, but your gut is telling you he isn´t fully focused. And it concerns you. Your instinct of wanting to help is activated, but you know you can´t do anything but watch.

Seconds feel like minutes, and minutes like hours. When it seems like Chris is finally getting more hits in, a bell rings, stopping the first round. Both fighters retreat into the corner to regain some composure and get a short break. The DJ announces some observations to heat up the atmosphere even more. Jaemin stands on the sideline, shouting something to his friend in hopes of helping him regain focus.

Your heartbeat is still the loudest thing in your ear. Everything feels like it´s happening in slow motion. You don´t even realize the bell is ringing again to start round two. Only when Chris and Jeno meet in the middle once more, does it finally set in.

You keep watching, and somehow you feel like there isn't much change compared to the previous round. Your body moves on its own, and before you can comprehend it, your mouth opens to shout. "Didn't you want to prove yourself?! How are you going to pay your bills if you can´t win?!”

There is nothing too serious about your statement. It's simply to rile him up a little. To show the stakes. You don't even know if he heard you. But seconds later, there is a change in posture and strategy. Jeno starts attacking more fiercely. He doesn´t give Chris as many chances to hit him and instead takes over, punching him with more power and showing clear dominance.

A critical moment happens after. Jeno lands a hit near Chris' jaw, disorienting him for a bit and making him stumble backwards. You fear the red haired guy will brutally attack him in this moment of weakness, but the bell rings again. Round 2 is over.

With only 1 round left, you swallow your fear as much as possible. It´s not that the fight itself is scaring you. It´s more that you can´t predict the outcome and you are simply worried about Jeno. His nosebridge is bleeding and you can see the area above his left eyebrow swelling. Besides that, his knuckles are bleeding, too, and you can guess that he has more injuries than just those.

Chris looks no better. His lip is split and he has a cut on his forehead that's obstructing his vision due to all the blood streaming down his face. The area that Jeno hit near his jaw looks like it's turning blue, too. Over all you start questioning why men willingly hurt each other.

While observing them on their break you feel eyes on you. You look up to see who it is, and when you are faced with his eyes on you, you freeze up again. He looks away before you can do anything else. Because of that you don't see the way the corner of his mouth lifts the slightest bit. And when the bell rings for the third time, there is a different kind of air around him.

You notice the final shift. For some reason you feel slightly more at ease. However, there is no time for you to relax just yet. The fight isn't over. Everything is still possible. The shouts and cheers around you turn louder with each passing second, as fists meet and punches are exchanged.

Chris tries to take over with offense another time. but this time Jeno doesn't let him. He swiftly blocks his hit and returns it with one of his own. When he manages to punch his opponent's side, and notices the backwards stumble, he adds another aimed hit towards his right side.

The pain of the punch sends Chris to his knees. He´s ringing for air and coughing, trying to steady his breathing. A countdown starts. The muscular guy tries to get up. Jeno paces around, ready to give him another hit, just in case he manages to get up on time. But there´s no need to.

When the number 1 sounds, cheers erupt louder than ever. Jaemin and some referee storm into the cage, while some others move to Chris to tend to his injuries. The referee lifts Jeno's arm into the air, declaring him as the winner. And when Jaemin gives him a towel and something to drink, you finally let out the breath you´ve been holding.

He won. Thankfully. It's not like you ever doubted him. But seeing a fight up close, in its brutal nature, and having to fear for more and more injuries, you can´t help but constantly worry.

While the crowd is loud and happy, high on endorphins and serotonin, Jeno only has eyes for you. He doesn't care about the burning of his cuts, the ache of his bruises or the cheers of the people around him. The fact that you showed up after all, and even tried to motivate him when he struggled, is the only thing that matters to him.

۶ৎ

When he finally steps out of the cage and moves to the door that brings him backstage, you watch him like a hawk. He glances at you for a few seconds, too, before vanishing in the other room, Jaemin close by his side. The latter looks at his friend proudly, and recognizes the missing focus in him. "Everything good? For a moment, I thought you would lose, not gonna lie.”

Jeno nods and starts discarding the wrapping on his hands to reveal the wounds. “I´m fine,” he simply says, then wipes away some sweat and blood from his face.

“Luckily your little girlfriend stepped in and decided to redirect you into focus,” Jaemin teases and grins at him with a knowing look.

“She´s not my girlfriend,” Jeno defends, purposefully not looking at the other boy, annoyed by his sudden want to tease him.

“But you are definitely interested in her. I can feel it. I bet she's waiting for you outside,” Jaemin says, leaning onto a table as he watches Jeno get ready for a shower.

Jeno just rolls his eyes annoyed. He chooses to ignore the guy and takes a towel. Then he leaves the room to take a shower. When he returns a while later, he takes the usual first aid kit with him and starts putting ointments and bandaids onto his wounds. Luckily they weren´t too big or tragic, so taking care of them is easy for him.

Unlike usual, Jeno doesn´t take his stuff and gets ready to leave after. He instead decides to check his phone and then stands up to move to the door he left through earlier. Even though Jaemin was teasing him about you, he definitely had to see you before he goes home. So his feet carry him through the crowd a minute later. The bass is booming, people are bumping into him while enjoying the music. But he doesn´t care.

His eyes scan the crowd. He makes sure to take in every face he sees. And when he finally spots you, he moves towards you, swiftly traveling through the dancing bodies. There are some who want to gather his attention. They shout his name, pull at his arms or clothes. But he ignores them all, too determined to reach you.

Yuqi sees him first and taps your shoulder, then points towards him. She's been dancing with you for a few minutes already. Once the fight was done, there was nothing else for you and her to do.

When your gaze follows where she points, and you see Jeno walk towards you, you can feel a pull in your heart. One that tells you to meet him in the middle. Yuqi notices the longing in your eyes, so she tells you simply, “Go to him. I will wait here for you.”

You smile at her thankfully. Then your feet move forward. You stumble through the people surrounding you, one meter at a time. You are focused on the red haired guy. So is he. And when you finally meet, he greets you with a soft grin. “You actually came.”

“You asked me to. Even though you took that back. But I hate losing a challenge. So here I am.” You return his grin. Your hands find his as he reaches out for you, your thumbs brushing over his bruised knuckles. “You had to prove yourself to me, after all.”

"True. And I did prove myself. Thanks for the motivational call out,” he remarks and watches your thumbs move over his torn skin. “I´m sorry for getting those unnecessary bruises.”

His sudden apology takes you by surprise, which shows in your expression. “Why are you apologizing about this when we both know it won't be the last time you're going to look like this?”

He lets out a chuckle, looks away and then back at you. “I don´t know. Just felt like I owed it to you. You are the one who patches me up when you see how I look.”

You roll your eyes, but smile regardless. “Well, now you are here, already patched up, and looking like a lost puppy. So if it´s not ruining your plans, maybe you wanna dance with me?” You don't know why you ask him this. Something inside of you just made you do it. But there is no taking it back, so you wait for his answer.

Jeno chuckles, but nods in agreement anyway. To him you look quite cute, even though you are certainly dressed to impress rather than show your soft side. He takes your hands properly and pulls you closer to himself before he starts swaying around with you. “I have to say, I was wrong when I said you wouldn´t fit in. I'm surprised even. You look like you belong here.”

You shrug proudly and take his invitation. “Told you so.” Your voice sounds confident as always, your nonchalance returning to you, pushing away the worry from earlier. "Should've believed me when I said it. You better not doubt me again.”

“I won´t. I promise,” he says, moving closer to your ear so you can understand him better. The gesture makes your heartbeat pick up a little. Luckily, the lights in the club mask the sudden flustered state you found yourself in because of it.

You keep dancing with him. Your bodies eventually move closer to each other, partly because of people pushing against the two of you, and partly because you naturally gravitate towards each other. You don´t talk too much more, either, and just enjoy the moment as it is.

Later that night, you check your phone. Seeing the time, you look for Yuqi and see her chatting with Jaemin and some other guy you don´t recognize. “I see Jaemin is hooking up your friend with one of his,” Jeno´s voice rings in your ear and you almost wince in surprise.

You turn your head to him. “Maybe it's time for us to leave. It´s already late and I feel like I've abandoned my best friend.”

Jeno nods in understanding and takes your hand to lead you towards her. On the way, he suggests taking both of you home. “I usually don't stay anyway, so it´s fine.”

Your eyes grow wider when you hear him say that. Did he only stay because of you? You wonder, choosing to not comment on it, though, and instead tap Yuqi´s shoulder once you reach her. She happily turns around, clearly a bit tipsy. Jaemin quickly catches you up on what´s happened. And then, you suggest to her to take your leave.

Yuqi slurs a little, but agrees in the end, feeling a bit tired from the evening. You take her hand in yours, say goodbye to Jaemin and his friend, and then lead her out of the club. Jeno follows you after explaining to his friends that he´s leaving too, ignoring the teasing from them.

Outside, the cold air hits your warm body instantly. You clutch your jacket on reflex. Jeno notices, pulling you a bit closer to him. “We should call a taxi. It's too far to walk all the way,” you mumble, slightly shivering.

“But I live further away from the club than you do. Our ways split eventually. How will you get home the rest of the way?” Yuqi asks, surprisingly sober now. You are guessing the cold has sobered her up a bit.

“I will just walk the last bit. You are the one with alcohol inside your blood, though, so I would prefer for you to take the taxi all the way home,” you argue, which makes her nod in understanding.

“Alright,” she simply agrees. Then you call the taxi. 10 minutes later, when it finally arrives, the three of you get inside it. You tell the driver the address and tell him to drop you off at a certain point. After that, the driver starts the engine and gets going, not interacting much more with you.

The drive passes in comfortable silence. Jeno is sitting beside you, looking out of the window or occasionally glancing at the driver through the rearview mirror. Yuqi is leaning onto your shoulder, almost drifting off into dreamland. You don´t mind either, instead enjoying the warmth and the comfort of having these people with you.

When you reach the drop off point, you say goodbye to your best friend and wish her a good rest of the night. You demand from her that she texts you once she gets home and Yuqi just laughs, reassuring you that she will do exactly that, but that she wants you to do the same, too.

You nod in agreement and wave at her one last time before closing the door. You wait until the car is out of sight before you start your walk back to your apartment. Jeno follows you quietly, enjoying the silence of the night. Somehow he feels content about just walking with you. In his mind he will quickly drop you off before returning to his own place and heading straight to bed.

“I have to say…today was quite fun,” you admit at some point, breaking the silence and catching his attention. He looks at you with surprise but lets you continue. “I thought I would be scared, but actually, I feel like I can handle more than I think. Doesn't mean I support your shady job. But that´s not my point right now.”

Jeno laughs at your clarification about his job but accepts your opinion regardless. “Well, I don´t want you to visit too often either because it's still dangerous. But I guess I don´t mind you in my world as much as I thought I would.”

“Don´t worry, I don´t have time to go clubbing and watch show fights every weekend anyway. But promise me one thing if you keep doing this.” You stop your walk to look him in the eyes firmly. He stops in front of you and returns the gaze, waiting for you to tell him. “Don´t overdo it. If it´s because you have financial struggles, let me help you find a different way of getting money.”

Jeno bites the inside of his cheek. Because in his understanding about his life, he knows he can't promise you that. Especially now that he has a deadline to get the money to pay off his mom´s debt. He can´t tell you this, though, so he keeps quiet.

You notice the hesitation and how he avoids looking at you, when he slowly nods. So you press on. “Jeno, I mean it. You getting injured constantly takes its toll on your body. At some point you might not return home.”

“I know, I know. But I don't know if I can keep this promise. There is nothing I am good at besides fighting. My background keeps me from opportunities. People judge me before I can prove myself,” he argues gently, looking at some streetlight a few meters away.

“I get that. But still. Please try to keep it limited,” you plead and wait for his reaction.

He sighs, then looks back at you and nods. “I will try. But I can´t promise anything.”

You accept what you can get, so you let the conversation fade and finally look for your keys in your bag. You´ve reached your apartment when you stopped. And now it´s time for you to go inside.

Jeno wants to say goodbye to you and tries to leave quickly, but you hold his hand before he has the chance to flee. “Stay the night.” Your words echo in his head when you utter them. He´s surprised by your sudden demand. “It´s late. And your place isn't the closest. You´ve stayed before, so why not crash at my place and leave in the morning?"

Jeno rings with himself, but eventually accepts your proposal. He gives a silent answer by stepping closer to the door of the house, signaling for you to open the door. Somewhat happy that he accepts your invitation, you smile and open it. The walk up the stairs is quick and before you know it, you are taking off your shoes inside of your apartment.

The boy looks around the familiar place. His thoughts drift off while you remove your make up and accessories, giving Yuqi a quick message that you arrived safely, too. He inspects the family picture he saw last time and actually recognizes the unhappy feelings behind your facade when he sees you standing with them in it.

When he finally snaps out of it, you are done getting ready for bed and waiting for him. He wants to move over to the couch and grab a blanket like last time, but suddenly, you stop him. Your eyes express certain emotions he can´t fully place. And when you speak to him, he feels like the air gets knocked out of his lungs.

“If you feel comfortable with it, you can share the bed with me. There is enough space and I feel bad letting you sleep on the hard sofa after seeing that fight.” Of course, it´s worry. Or at least that´s what he thinks. Seeing you stare at him so innocently, and sounding so concerned for his comfort, he can´t help but accept the offer.

So instead of lying down on the couch, he moves over to the free side of your bed. He watches you get under the covers first, only hesitantly following. It takes him a few minutes to ease the tension in his muscles. There is no way he wants to overstep any boundaries.

But when you mumble a soft “sleep well” to him and turn off the lights to relax fully, something loosens in him. He gets comfortable under the blanket and feels the warmth that radiates off of your body. Having you so close to him. Sensing the trust you put in him. He notices the way his own heart feels at ease.

He wants to treasure this feeling. Having you by his side, in this vulnerable state. There is nothing but care flooding through his system. Even in the darkness of the night, he watches you fall asleep, before closing his own eyes. And then, with the comfort you grant him, he lets his body fully calm down.

That night, he falls into the land of dreams with a quiet mind. No worries. No fears. Just warmth. And knowing that someone is with him. That he´s not alone. And that someone actually cares about him.

XIV. THREAT

It´s another normal night at the midnight cafe. Only 30 minutes are left until your shift ends. You are already cleaning up when two men in suits enter the cafe. They don´t look around much, heading straight to the counter. One sits down on the chair in front of it. The other stays standing.

“Good evening,” one says. The other nods swiftly.

You quickly put away the rag, then put on your customer friendly smile. “Good evening. What can I get for you?” Something is off about these men. Your gut feeling tells you. But you can´t pinpoint anything.

"Coffee. Black," the one standing says.

“Two,” the one on the chair adds, holding up his index and middle finger.

You quickly get to work, preparing them like you usually do. While you do, you can feel eyes follow every move you are making. You try to keep yourself calm, which is easier said than done in this situation.

“Quiet here,” one suddenly starts. “It fits you.”

This makes you stop in your tracks. You look over your shoulder, a little surprise evident in your expression. But you try to stay neutral. So you simply answer, “Excuse me?”

The guy who said it, smiles at you. “You seem like someone who prefers the quiet.”

His redirection makes you feel weird. Your alarm bells are ringing inside your mind, yet you keep a smile on your face. You decide to no longer get into the topic with him and instead place their cups in front of them.

The one standing puts the money on the counter. He pays in cash. No need for change. You quickly put it away into the cash register.

The seated man takes a sip of his coffee and nods approvingly. “Long shifts,” he then says, directly looking at you. “Must be tiring. Especially when you´re busy during the day, too.”

His companion smiles at the mention, while you seem more and more confused and your gaze sharpens. “What do you mean?”

“Spending time with your friends. Helping them out. You are young. Yet very busy,” he continues.

The other man finally sits down and rests his arm on the counter. Then his gaze returns to you. He suddenly starts smiling. It makes your stomach churn. “You´ve been hanging out with that boy quite often these days.”

Your breath hitches. Your body freezes a little. This is taking a turn you don´t feel ready for.

“You are good company,” the first one says. “He seems calmer these days. Less…reckless."

This makes you swallow. Have they been following you around? What do they want from you? Your pulse starts racing while your hands try to busy themselves in hopes of somewhat calming your nerves.

“It´s strange how people change when someone suddenly starts caring for them,” his companion adds, a twisted grin spreading on his face.

Silence stretches between you. You don't know what to say. But the sweat on your palms is increasing by the second.

“You are a smart girl,” the one who paid softly starts. “Smart enough to understand how much connections matter. And that decisions rarely only affect one person.”

You can hear your heartbeat in your ears. Any words you can think of are stuck in your throat.

“Especially,” the other adds, “when there´s a little sister involved.”

You feel very nauseous all of a sudden. The world is spinning a bit.

"What was her name again? Bom?” He lifts his coffee and takes a sip. Unbothered.

The first one glances at the clock in the corner of the cafe. “It´s almost closing time,” he states.

“Y-yes.” you somehow find your voice in this situation.

They stand up suddenly. One fixes his jacket. The other looks at his wrist watch, then at the door. Slowly, they take their steps towards it.

“We like it when things work out on time,” the one in the back starts, looking back at you still frozen at the counter. “So we hope you make the right decisions…without thinking for too long.”

The other holds the door open and waits for his partner. Before he leaves, he turns to you, too. “We don´t want anyone else to get involved, do we?” He says, gives you a smile, and then vanishes into the darkness of the night.

You feel like your heart is about to jump out of your chest. It takes you a few seconds before your brain catches up. Then you slowly sink to the floor, clutching your apron while you start to breathe a little faster. Eyes wide in shock.

They know who you are. Where you work. And what role you play in his life.

XV. SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE

You burst through the doors of the estate. Your walk is quick. Steps are echoing through the entrance hall. You ignore the house keeper you haven´t seen in over a year. There are rooms you intentionally skip. You don´t have the time or the patience to run into your parents. The destination being someone else´s office.

The moment the door to the room on the highest floor opens, the man on the couch reading a book looks up in surprise. His wrinkled face lights up upon seeing you, but the smile quickly drops when he sees the urgency in your gaze.

“Dear, what´s going on? How are you?” he asks, genuinely interested. Your grandpa has always cared for you. Unlike your parents, he was the one supporting you in your decisions. You swore to never talk to your parents again, which meant not seeing him often either. And under normal circumstances, you wouldn´t be in his office right now.

But since the situation is about to escalate in your understanding, you have to swallow your pride and take this step you swore you would never ever take. “Beoji. I have a favor to ask of you and Meoni.”

You get straight to the point. Before you can continue, the old man sits down in a chair in front of you. “What is it, my dear? What can we do for you?” The old man has a hunch. But he waits for you to speak.

“I need money. Not for myself. For a friend.” Your expression stays serious. And even though you hate uttering these words, you still do. “His mom threw her debt onto him, and now he´s in danger. They are threatening his little sister. She´s only two–” You stop yourself from rambling on and exhale frustrated.

“I hate asking you for this. And I will accept any decision you make. But I can´t witness anything bad happen to them, just because another person is too selfish to take care of their own mess,” you continue, and your grandpa´s face softens.

You've always had a good heart. You are selfless enough to help others, going as far as putting down your pride. He's always loved this side of you the most. So his voice sounds softly, “How much?”

The amount slips out of you within seconds. You watch your grandpa stand up, walk over to a glass cabinet, take out a small jewelry box. When he returns to his desk and the chair he's sat on a minute ago, he opens it. Then he takes out cash, starts counting it, and puts the bills in front of you once he´s reached the number he was looking for.

You look at the stash, then up at him. He didn't need to tell you anything else, his gesture answer enough. You bite your bottom lip and clench your hands for a few seconds. Then you stand up and hug him. “Thank you. I will pay you back soon.”

After that you take the money and put it into your bag. “Say hello to Meoni from me.” Your grandpa nods with a smile. Then you rush out of the house.

۶ৎ

The world feels like it's going faster than ever. The anxiety you´ve been feeling since you´ve had the unwanted encounter with those loan sharks is going haywire inside your chest. You desperately want to run away, change your name and never speak to anyone you know ever again. But you know you can´t do that.

You are speed walking through the streets. Seemingly, your destination is Jeno's apartment. You aren't exactly sure. The estate you´ve just been at is quite far away from his place, so it takes you a while to get to familiar streets.

You are in some sort of zone while you head through the streets. You barely hear the familiar voice when you round a corner. Luckily, you stop in your tracks on instinct. There he is, cornered by some guys who seem strangely interested in him. Jeno looks like he´s about to start a fight with them. His frustration is evident in the way his face hardened.

“I still need a few more days to get everything! For fucks sake I can´t just summon money out of nowhere!” He curses at them.

“That´ s your problem. It's pay day. So pay up,” one of the strange men retorts, not in the mood to play around.

Your heart is racing from your speedy walk. It takes a moment for your brain to filter the words into sentences that make sense. When you realize what the topic is about, you quickly make your way towards them.

Jeno´s face drops when he sees you come closer. He immediately switches from angry to concerned for your safety. In the meantime the loan shark looks at you and starts grinning. “And so we see each other again.”

The boy understands his words immediately, and a realization dawns on him. The moment you reach them, he immediately pulls you to his side, shielding you a little from the dangerous men.

“What are you doing?” he whisper yells. He wants to get you away from this situation as soon as possible. You on the other hand don't even pay him any mind. Your mouth is displaying a straight line while your eyes give the man in the suit a stern look. You quickly rummage through your bag. And when you find the stack of money you quickly pull it out and push it into the chest of the man.

“Here. Your money. Now stop bothering us and piss off,” you spit, earning a laugh from the shady man. Jeno looks at you perplexed. He has no idea where you got that money from. And he hates the fact that you are paying for him even more. But before he gets the chance to complain about it, he´s getting pulled along by you.

Your walk quickly turns into a run. You are afraid they might want more and will chase you, so you want to get away from there as fast as possible. The boy by your side picks up on that fast, so he starts leading the way eventually, using some shortcuts to get to his apartment quicker.

You run for a while, turning corners quickly, and jumping some walls here and there. You didn´t even know you could move like this until you had to climb up a fence to get into the correct alley faster.

Panting, you finally come to a halt in front of Jeno´s apartment door. He silently opens it and lets you in. There´s a glass of water in front of you before you can even ask for it. And once you´ve taken a sip from it, almost emptying it in one go, Jeno finally speaks up. His face is serious and he is clearly displeased with something.

“Why did you do that?” he asks, trying not to let his anger overtake.

“What?” you ask, your brain not catching up.

“Pay off my debt. That was none of your business.” He crosses his arms and grits his teeth.

In return, you sigh and stand up. “I had no choice. They turned up at my shift the other night and threatened me.”

This makes his eyes go wider. He guessed it earlier, but hearing you say it out loud does something to him. His heart drops. “Where did you even get the money to pay off such an amount?”

His deflection doesn´t go past you, but you choose to accept the fact that he turns away from anger. “I asked my grandparents. I will pay them back in due time.” You sigh again and sit down.

Jeno's arms drop. There is silence that fills the air for a few minutes. “So now you are indebted to your family. Which is something you wanted to avoid. Because of me.”

“No, Jeno. I am helping out a friend because he´s getting threatened by shady people who know too much about him, his family, and friends. I would rather we have years of time to pay back some money I lent from my grandparents than have some scary people try and hurt you or your sister just because your mother is an egotistical bitch,” you retort.

This makes him shut up. He sees the reasoning behind your decision, which is why he slowly sinks down to sit across from you. “I´m sorry that you got pulled into this. I wanted to avoid this, actually.”

“Is this why you started working at the club more, again?” Your sudden question has him suck in his breath. "Don't think I didn't notice the increase of injuries, again. That´s why you also couldn´t promise me to do this shit as little as possible, am I right?”

He can't help but nod. There is no denying any of what you are saying. He knows that. And because he trusts and appreciates you, he is honest. “Yeah. They cornered me a while ago and weren´t afraid to give me a final date while I had Bom in my arms. I had no other options. This is the only job I have. And it´s my only source for quick money.”

You rub your hands over your face. Clearly, this can´t keep going on like this. “Jeno, things have to change. You can't keep doing this shady ass fighting thing,” you start and see him about to protest, but you keep going. “This is not just about you. You have a little sister who needs you. If you get hurt so badly you have to go to the hospital, or worse, you fucking die, who is supposed to be there for her when she can´t stand in for her own rights?”

“She needs you. Fuck. I don't want you to get badly hurt, either. Every time you turn up with new injuries, my heart hurts because I know you are hurting, too! This isn't the way, Jeno.” Your display of emotions that's carried by your voice hits him. He isn´t directly looking at you anymore, but your message lands.

Frustrated, he runs his fingers through his hair. “Fuck, I know. I know this isn't sustainable. But I have no other qualities. There is nothing I´m good at besides fighting. I barely managed to finish high school, and my reputation is so bad, people turn me away because they are scared of me. I don't know what else to do. This is all I got!”

“But that's just not true. You are so much more than a fighter. I´ve seen it myself. If you can make me see those sides of you, others will see them, too. You just have to give yourself a chance. Fuck school qualifactions. Those mean shit when you can prove yourself with your skills. You are a smart guy with so much empathy. There's no way you won't find something better,” you argue, your voice turning gentler with every word.

It's hard for him to believe what you are saying. But then he remembers all the other times you've believed in him, didn´t judge him, and supported him. And with that, he slowly starts to think that maybe, maybe if you are able to believe in him, he can try and believe in himself, too.

“Let me suggest something. At some time in the future, we will sit down together and look for jobs. I need another job again, too. And while I'm at it, I might as well try and finally apply for college,” you propose, hopeful. “I don´t care when in the future as long as you promise me that we will do this. That way we can pay off the loan I took from my family together, too and you won't feel like you owe me anything.”

There is silence between you two for a while. He is clearly thinking about your suggestion. It sounds like a solution to him. There is just one thing he has to do first. "Okay. I promise you we will do this. But only under one condition.” You listen to him and wait patiently for him to name it. “I need to win this legal fight against my mom first. Once I know Bom is safe and with someone who actually takes care of her, I will stop fighting at the club and leave that life behind me.”

You take in his words and nod in approval once he´s done talking. “That´s fine with me. As long as you don't break this promise, I will happily support you. Even if it means I will have to keep watching you get hurt.”

Jeno nods, too, accepting that it´s not easy for you, either. And he is thankful that you don't try to overrule his decisions. Unlike many others, you let him make his choices and don´t try to force him.

XVI. PLEASE HELP ME

Bom has been crying for over an hour already. Earlier that day, everything was still fine. They played happily, ate delicious meals, and enjoyed the bit of sun together that was still left in the cold season. Jeno finally had the chance to see his little sister again, and enjoy the day with her. His aunt being busy, she felt it was fine for him to take care of her instead. That´s how she ended up with him.

But now, with the clock already showing a time that has passed Bom's usual bedtime, he is holding her, rocking her, trying to make her stop crying with soothing words. He's tried everything in the books. But she just won´t stop crying.

She has eaten. They played everything she wanted. She got her bottle of formula before bedtime, too. Is dressed in her cozy pajamas like usual, and holds her favorite stuffed animal. Jeno has tried lying down with her, hoping she would fall asleep after a few minutes. But the crying never stopped.

It seems like there is something that's bothering her. But he just can't figure out what it is. It pains him. Seeing her exhaust herself like that with seemingly nothing soothing her. The sound of her screams is loud and persistent. He hates to admit it, but he´s getting close to his limit. There are no options left for him. He fears he is stuck in this despair.

Then, a thought crosses his mind. He doesn't think too much about it, and simply goes to get his phone. The contact is quickly found. And before he can debate about it, he dials the number.

It rings once. Twice. A third ring never comes, because your voice already echoes through his phone. “Hello? Jeno?”

You are confused about why he suddenly calls you. But then you hear the crying in the background. And moments later, Jeno´s exhausted voice answers your looming question. “Can you please come over? I don't know what to do anymore. Bom keeps crying and I don't know how to calm her down.”

You can hear the frustration and pain in his voice. He is tired. Stressed. There is no need for you to debate on your answer. “Give me 10 minutes.”

With that you end the call. Your shoes and jacket are on within seconds. Your lights are off just as quick. And before you know it you are out of your apartment, on your way to his.

The minutes passing feel like hours to the boy who is still holding his little sister in his arms. He tries again and again to calmly talk to her. Hope never fading. When the doorbell rings, he is quick to let you in. And when you take a step inside, recognizing the disheveled state he is in, the shaking in his arms from the tension he´s been holding back, you discard your stuff as fast as possible and turn to him.

You hold your arms out. He carries Bom over to you, eyes already apologizing for the bother, but you don´t comment on that. You simply look at him, gaze calm and confident. Then you speak. “Go and take a shower. I will take care of her.”

Jeno´s shoulders slump in a mix of exhaustion and relief. He doesn't argue with you and watches as you vanish into his bedroom, his sister still crying in your arms. Worries plague his mind as he slowly moves to his bathroom. What if you have no success, either? What will he do if Bom cries herself down to exhaustion, until her Body can't take it anymore?

His clothes are discarded with hesitance. When he looks in the mirror his expression gloomily stares back at him. He looks like a mess. He hates that he can't deal with this himself. Yet he is so thankful that you came.

۶ৎ

While Jeno is taking a shower, you are busy with Bom. The little girl looks just as exhausted as her brother. So you try your best to help her.

You check her diaper again. Empty. Not too loose, not too tight. You know that she definitely ate something earlier. The used kitchen tools tell you that much. You check her temperature. Normal. You try rocking her, too, but see that she doesn´t relax with it.

When you try to distract her with her stuffed animal, she shortly stops to look at it, but starts again. With a small sigh you decide to lay her down. If nothing like this helps, maybe something else is the issue.

The girl doesn't stay lying on her back. She starts kicking the small blanket around. She keeps trying to sit up. Even when you want to caress her, you feel her back away from your touch.

An idea pops up in your mind. You quickly take away the blanket and put it aside. Then you open the window a little, to let in fresh air. The sudden cold air grabs her attention again. Her crying seems to calm just a tiny bit, even if it still doesn't fully stop. But you take notice of it.

When you see her fumble with her pajama top, you decide that she is definitely overwhelmed. So you help her take off the pieces of clothing. The effect is instant. Her expression softens a little.

You close the window a few seconds later. The few minutes let in enough cold air to freshen up the bedroom. And because the only thing that´s left now is for you to give her emotional support, you do the only thing that seems right. You lie down next to her, look her in the eyes, and try to soothe her by singing and humming to her a little.

Now that the sensory overload is less, she can concentrate on one thing to calm down. And it works. The girl looks at you. She still occasionally lets out a cry, but it's significantly less. Your body gives her the necessary warmth she might want. And your overall presence reassures her that she´s not alone.

Your humming and singing is grounding. And when some minutes have passed, you can see how her breathing starts to even out. The crying has stopped now. And her eyes seem to get heavier and heavier.

With a daring gesture you brush your finger gently over the bridge of her nose. At first it's testing the waters on your part. But when she doesn´t make a move that tells you she doesn´t want it, you keep going, picking up a slow, steady rhythm.

You do this for a few more minutes until she finally falls asleep, and wait another minute until you dare to move away from her, slowly scooting to the edge of the bed. Then you take the blanket and lay it on top of her so she stays warm and cozy. You watch her a few more moments, until you finally decide to leave the room.

When you step out of it, you don't fully close the door. You can still hear the running water in the bathroom, so you take a look around. There are some plates and pots still dirty in the kitchen sink. The living room floor is scattered with toys. He definitely did everything he could, you think. And because you saw how exhausted he looked when you arrived, you decide to take the chores off his shoulders.

۶ৎ

The moment Jeno steps out of the bathroom in a fresh set of clothes and a towel on his head, somewhat drying his wet hair, he immediately notices the silence. His eyes roam his apartment. He sees the ajar door to his bedroom. And then he sees you putting away a last plate onto the drying rack.

You surprise him over and over. He doesn't know how you do it. But somehow you always find a way to fix things in his life or make it easier for him.

Discarding the towel on his head, he walks over to you in silence. You can feel his presence, so you turn to face him. “Have you eaten?” you ask right away, voice soft and low.

He nods as a response, too stunned to speak at first. “How…”

You give him a small smile and lean onto the counter behind you. “She was overwhelmed. I helped her erase the things that overstimulated her. And after that I helped her fall asleep.”

“Right. Why didn't I think of this?” Jeno whispers to himself, mostly.

“Don´t blame yourself. It´s not easy to find what´s wrong when they don't know how to express themselves fully, yet.” You try to take away the burdening thoughts from him. After all, you knew him well enough to know that he likes to blame himself a lot.

The boy in front of you lets out an exhausted chuckle. Of course you see right through him. “You amaze me every time,” he then mumbles, and looks at you.

“What do you mean?” Your question is simple. Yet, it amuses him that you don´t seem to know just how much you've helped him in the few months he has known you. He shakes his head in disbelief, but the smile on his lips doesn´t disappear.

Neither of you speak after this. He doesn´t give you an answer, instead leaving you in the open about his comment. You watch him in the dim lighting provided by the street lamps from outside. It´s so quiet you can hear yours and his breathing.

“You know, I thought this night would end with a mental breakdown,” he whispers all of a sudden. There is a shakiness to his voice you can´t decipher just yet. “I started to get scared. I…I didn´t know who else to call.”

The words sit heavy with you. His choice to be openly vulnerable with you is something you treasure deeply, knowing it´s not something he would just do with anyone.

Without thinking, your hand touches his forearm. The grounding gesture makes him look at you. You return his gaze, searching for anything that tells you he is uncomfortable. “I´m so glad you called.”

Your honest words steal a shaky breath from him. His gaze dips down, too, finding the floor before he looks back up. Hearing confirmation that it was the right decision lifts something heavy off his chest. With the relief of tension, his shoulders automatically sack down slightly, and he places his hands on the counter on either side of you to support himself.

You are suddenly so close to him. The way you so innocently stare at him for signs that he needs more emotional support has his heart soften. His mind empties, too, comforted by your presence.

You become aware of the closeness, too. But strangely, it feels soothing. Like it´s meant to be. And before you know it, you move closer.

His eyes follow you. There is hesitation when you are centimeters apart from each other. You can feel his breath on your mouth. And then, when neither of you widen the distance, he closes it instead.

Your lips meet softly, like he's afraid of breaking the moment. You are both careful with what you are doing, only indulging lightly in it. And when he pulls back, there is a visible difference in his demeanor.

You keep looking at him, trying to read him. But besides the weight that´s been lifted, and the gentle longing in his eyes, you can´t find any more signs of distress.

He´s holding onto your arm with his hand, keeping you grounded and close to him. And while you relish in this moment, both of you feel the remaining pull.

There is no need for words to be exchanged. You just give in to the feelings. Before you know it, your lips are back on his. With less hesitation, and more need.

One of your hands moves to hold his face. He places one on your hips, pulling you closer to him. You give in to the pull, letting go of any worries and thoughts that have kept you apart in all the struggle.

There is no lust that comes with the closeness the two of you share. Just freedom. Like there is no more struggle to breathe in the mess you call life.

Eventually, you part. Your panting fills the quiet night air as you come down from the emotional high you just experienced. Jeno leans his forehead on yours as he loosens his grip on you just a little.

Neither of you dare to speak up, scared to ruin the atmosphere you created for yourselves. You let whatever feelings just came over you linger. Then, a short, silent shuffle from the bedroom tears both of your attention to the door.

You wait for any other sign that something is up. But when silence follows again, both of you feel relief. You look back at each other, soft, gentle smiles reflecting on your faces.

“Thank you,” he mumbles, genuinely acknowledging all your effort.

Your smile grows, and you squeeze his hand once before you let go. Your gaze moves back to the door again as you let silence settle. And outside, the city hums on like any other night, leaving you behind in the comfort of its noise.

XVII. D-DAY

“Okay so, I´ve talked to the lawyer again, and she said if she pulls certain strings, things will move fast,” your voice rings through the phone, over to Jeno.

The boy listens to you intently. The stakes are high, so he´s giving it his best. “Are you sure they will make it work that quickly? I am not fully trusting the process yet.”

“Yes. I am flexing my name with this case a bit, so they will prioritize it because they don´t want to stand in bad light with my family,” you explain, a certain discomfort traveling with your voice as you do.

Jeno knows you hate your family connections. He knows you don´t like to rely on your last name or the things your parents have established. That´s why he appreciates your effort even more. He knows not to take it for granted.

“The system is really god damn unfair,” he mumbles on the other line.

"Yeah. But that´s our luck this time. We are using corruption for our benefits. Just like any other rich bitch does. So please, keep the information coming. The more she has in her hands the easier the case will be,” you answer, still having heard him clear enough.

With a heavy exhale, Jeno writes down some more things that come to his mind. “Fine. I will trust you on this.”

۶ৎ

After your call, things really do move fast. Weeks pass by in which Jeno keeps sending notes to the lawyer you referred him to. She keeps in contact with him, praising him for the detailed information. At the same time, his aunt does everything in her capabilities to keep Bom with her as much as possible. She knows not to trust her sister with anything she´s saying, so whenever the opportunity arises, she makes up time to spend it with her niece.

Then, when the phone call for a date finally comes, Jeno feels like his heart is jumping out of his chest. He knows you said things will move fast. But he didn´t expect it to be this fast.

When a court date finally graces his calendar on the wall, he suddenly feels the need to scramble and find something appropriate to wear, while also making sure his face doesn´t look too bruised from the fights he still does. He wants to look responsible, not like what his reputation frames him to be.

The fewer days until the hearing, the more nervous he gets. You stay in contact with him as much as possible. But given the stress and anxiety, you regularly miss each other's calls or don't text each other for days until one of you gets room to breathe again.

The distance is bothering you. But there is nothing you can do. He hates it just as much. But his focus keeps straying to what he has to do.

When the day finally comes, Jeno is pacing up and down the halls in front of the court room. His aunt is inside, with the lawyer you recommended, battling his mother and her stupid boyfriend.

He has no idea where his little sister is. He just knows she´s currently with a social worker. He knows he has to enter the court room any moment now, stating his own experiences with his family and how they used him as a means to an end. The thought is killing him on the inside. He is scared. But he keeps retelling himself why he´s doing this.

Once the hour inside the room, in front of the judge, is over, he sits back down outside. His leg is bouncing as he waits impatiently for the whole hearing to end. These minutes feel like days. He hates it. But he has to hold out.

In front of the building, you are waiting for him. You barely managed to get there on time, knowing you wouldn't be allowed inside anyway. But you still wanted to show up. To support Jeno. After all, you came to realize that you are like an anchor to him. In the months leading up to right now, you´ve gotten close to him, so now, it´s no longer just you being there for him, but also him giving you the energy to live life fully again.

You pace along the sidewalk, anxiously rubbing your palms together as you wait. It feels like walking on spikes ready to pierce you. You are stuck in your mind, thinking of all possible outcomes. And while you know the chances for a win are high, you are still as scared as someone who will surely be convicted for a crime that means a life in prison.

The moment the doors to the court house open, your head snaps up. Jeno walks down the stairs speedily, when he sees you waiting for him. You look at him with curious eyes, your breath held in anticipation.

When he stops in front of you, his smile grows. You hate how he keeps you waiting. You actually feel the urge to punch him so he finally spills the judgment. You keep looking from one eye to the other, trying to read his face, to get the answer you want.

Then, his smile grows. The words leave his mouth and the world stops spinning for a few seconds. You process what he's saying. And right after, you jump into his arms, full of joy.

He quickly embraces you, pulling you against him with lots of strength. He buries his face in your shoulder, trying to contain himself. But the grin keeps spreading on his face. “I can´t believe it. She's free.”

“I am so happy for you,” you respond, almost shedding a tear or two, out of joy for this win. He's finally getting the justice he deserves. And you are with him, to witness it.

When you pull apart, you stare at him with a joyful smile. “What exactly did they decide on?” Curiosity is killing you. You want to know what the judge said.

“Bom will move in with my aunt. She´s getting full custody and my mom is no longer allowed to see her. I get to visit Bom whenever I have the time to,” he explains, still smiling like he just got reborn.

Hearing this, you move to hug him once again. There is just nothing you can say that will express the happiness you are currently feeling. With it, relief settles in as well. You two no longer have to worry about this constant race for Bom's well being.

XVIII. NEW BEGINNINGS

The knock on the door echoes loud and clear, and seconds later, Jeno swings open the door. He greets you with a bright smile while you return it with the same enthusiasm.

When you step inside, your jacket and shoes are off fast. The laptop you´ve brought with you is put into Jeno´s hands in the meantime. The boy studies it with a curious gaze, and when you are done you take it out of his hands and strut into his living room, plopping down on the couch as if you own the place.

“And you are serious about the whole job hunt thing? You sure someone will want to hire me?” the boy asks as he sits down next to you, resting his arm on the back of the couch, and watches you start up the device.

You give him an incredulous look. “Do I really have to keep telling you that you are capable of more than you think? Jeno please, you are anything but stupid. Trust yourself some more.” The eye roll you give him afterwards makes him chuckle. He doesn´t answer your statement, instead watching the pastel background on your desktop pop up on screen.

You sign in quickly, open your personal folders and pull out the documents you already made. “Okay so, let´s create an application for you so some horrible boss can see how great you are.”

“Shouldn´t we start by trying to find jobs that suit me first?” Jeno questions, unsure if there even is anything he would be useful for. Your head turns towards him again and you start studying his face. Your cheeks puff out, too, while you try to think of an answer.

“I mean, what do you personally think you are really good at, and what do you like to do besides fighting?” you ask straight up, the air leaving your cheeks as you speak.

Distracted by the fairly cute expression, Jeno starts to think of a few things. At first nothing really comes up, but then, ideas appear in his mind. “I would say, I like working out? And well, I do know how to come by on a low budget. But I don´t know if that´s useful for anything.”

“... and?” you try to urge him to say more, but the boy stays quiet and just shrugs. It makes you face palm in frustration. How can he be so blind? The sigh that follows when you look at him makes him scratch the back of his head, but before he gets the chance to say more, you start again. “Okay, so you like working out, you are physically on the top level, you know how to fight and defend. Besides that you are great with kids, and in my personal opinion you are actually pretty smart. You figure things out quickly, know how to tend for yourself and care for others all while surviving in a stressful environment. Your stamina is great and you have a strong mind.”

Your listing of all these things leaves him quite speechless. His big eyed stare makes you break your poker face, the created chuckle echoing through the room. “What? You didn't actually think I wouldn´t find anything valuable that fits many jobs? Look, in my opinion, you are pretty great. If no one else ever told you this, you can be sure I have no reason to lie to you.”

You end up patting his shoulder before opening the browser on your laptop to look for some jobs. When you type in some of the qualities you´ve just listed, you scroll through the recommended jobs that fit them, and show them to Jeno. “Do any of these suit your tastes? Do you think one of them could work for you?”

Jeno´s eyes roam over the black letters showing many job titles. He takes each of them in, visually trying to imagine himself in the role that´s presented. Body guard, kindergarten teacher, personal trainer. Somehow, all of these felt a little off. It´s not easy for him to try and imagine himself as something other than an underground fighter. So he looks at you for any implications of help.

However, you just look at him with raised eyebrows, waiting for an answer. “What do you have in mind for your new second job?” he eventually asks, making you scrunch up in confusion.

“Are you trying to divert the topic?” you ask straight up, not fully grasping the sudden reason for his question.

“No, I just…it´s hard imagining anything normal. I am just curious. Maybe it helps me figure it out for myself.” He says, diverting his gaze towards the carpet on his floor. He feels a bit embarrassed about his struggle.

What he misses is the way your expression softens. And instead of judging him, you simply answer. “Actually, I already made an application form for a position at a school for troubled kids. Since I eventually want to work in the field, and study social work, I felt it was a good way of testing my skills and gaining experience.”

Your answer steers his eyes back to you. His gaze is laced with admiration as he listens to you. “Your goals are so inspirational. I never even thought of what I wanted to be later in life.”

“But that´s because you had other things to focus on. You never had the chance to do this. That´s why we are here right now. It's fine if we can´t find anything today, either. It´s just important we take this step at all,” you reassure.

Jeno nods in understanding and keeps thinking about things. You, in the meantime, keep scrolling through whatever the browser suggested. “Isn´t there anything that´s not too far away from the job you want to do?” he then, suddenly, asks, looking at you with some sort of puppy gaze.

You return his gaze with one of surprise. You don´t know why he suddenly feels like he needs you in closer proximity for a job, but you also don´t want to question him, so you just shrug and start thinking.

A pout is slowly growing on Jeno´s face when you keep quiet, so when you click your tongue because you remembered something, his ears perk up. “Actually, I think there is. Across from the school, in the same building, is a rehabilitation center for mostly older people who recover from sickness or injury. I think their gym is still looking for someone willing to support the old folks with their exercises while keeping up with the friendly chatter.”

“Can´t I do that kind of job?” he asks, thinking that he definitely qualifies for the physical tasks, and he is sure he can handle chatty seniors.

“I don´t see a reason why you can´t. Want to apply for the job?” you ask, looking at him with expectation.

Jeno nods. Inside he still feels a little unsure, but he knows, if you keep supporting him, building his confidence in this department, he will feel secure soon. And if you manage to get the job at the school, he might even be able to have daily lunch time with you, which sounds like a really nice, domestic life to him, away from all the chaos, and presentable enough for when Bom has to introduce her family at school in a few years time, too.

Happy that he found something he is interested in doing, you smile at him and open a writing program after. “Alright. Let´s get started on that CV then. I will help you with that.”

“What does yours look like?” Curiosity gets the best of him, so he asks you. The question triggers an even prouder smile from you so you go to open the files you had created a week ago and show them to him.

The application looks really professional in Jeno´s eyes and he admires your eye for detail and design on it. Impressed, he hums. “Are you secretly a graphic designer or something? How can you make this look so professional while also adding your personal touch with those cutesy designs?”

“Oh that? I just got carried away. It was too cute to delete so I tried to somehow implement it without ruining the serious aspects of what it needs to portray,” you half mumble, trying not to let his compliments get to your head, because really, it wasn´t that big of a deal. Just a normal application with some pink lettering, cute symbols and a cream colored background.

Once Jeno is done inspecting what you´ve made, you start an empty file and write down his personal information. Quickly, you have the important data down, and add whatever else needs to be on this application.

Two hours later, you present the final version to the boy who´s busy scrolling through his socials by now. “What do you think?” you ask and wait for Jeno´s judgment. He looks at the file, scans the information, and then looks at you.

“Why does mine not have cute lettering on it?” he seriously asks.

“Do you really want me to add pink font and cute lettering to yours, too?” You wonder if he´s joking or for real.

“Can a guy not have pink and cute associated with his application?” he counters instead.

“Do you want them to compare our applications and think I made this instead of you?” you question, raising one eyebrow.

The boy pouts, unable to reply with a good argument. Then he gives in. “Fine. But can we add a blue font at least? I don't like the plain look.”

You chuckle at his persistence to add some more character to it. But with the way he asks so nicely you can´t say no. “Fine. I will add some more colour. Just for you.”

His eyes light up with your answer. Satisfied he leans back against the back of the couch again, going back to his phone.

“How´s Jaemin? Is he sad you are going to leave the fighting scene?” you then ask while busy with the colour of the lettering.

“Oh, he´s fine. A bit sad his best friend won´t work with him any longer, but he will survive. It´s not like our friendship is going to end because of this,” Jeno says, looking at his phone screen.

“That´s great. You should invite him over for coffee or something when you successfully get a job,” you suggest, not looking away from the desktop, either.

After some silence, and you being busy finishing the application for him, you clap our hands together when the file is finally done. “Now we just have to send these to the institution and wait.”

Upon hearing that, Jeno looks at you smiling brightly and proudly. He debates on asking another question, seeing how your mood is good right now. He doesn´t know if it will ruin it, because he doesn´t know if the topic is sensitive to you. Eventually, he ends up going for it, though, knowing that you are strong enough to handle it.

“When do you plan on applying for universities?” His voice comes out with a rough undertone, prompting him to clear his throat.

You lean back against the couch and exhale, a little bit of exhaustion evident in it. “I already finished writing the applications for all the colleges in the area.” You pause after saying it. Something is gnawing at you in the back of your mind. Jeno patiently waits for you to continue. “But I´m a bit afraid of actually applying.”

The revelation makes him put his phone away. His eyebrow is raised as he goes to look at you with a hint of concern. “Why? That´s what you've been working your ass off for, isn´t it?”

“Yes. But…” You look at him now before you keep speaking, “Sometimes, I question if my parents were right after all. If it´s really the right decision. Or if I should just comply and apply for business instead.”

Your admission leaves him speechless. You, the one who never doubted him once, who kept motivating him and told him he can achieve anything if he only actually believed in himself, are afraid of pursuing your dream. He couldn't let that self-doubt ruin it for you.

With swift movements he takes the laptop from you. He quickly searches through your saved websites in the browser, knowing you are the type of person to have the tabs for the universities saved so you can go to the websites quickly. Then he opens each of them, looks for the page for application, and inserts your file.

“What are you doing?” you question, sitting up in alert as you watch him, unable to interfere.

“Applying for university,” he drily says and hits the send button for each of the schools. Only after that does he put the laptop down on the coffee table.

You meet his eyes with a look of shock. You have no words, too busy still processing what he just did for you. Somehow it´s ironic. You keep telling him to believe in himself while you secretly doubt your own decisions. So him doing this feels like a reversal.

“The worst that can happen is that you have to apply again next semester,” he states as a matter of fact. “You, of all people I know, have no reason to question your dreams, okay? If anyone is doing what´s right, it´s you. You follow your heart, and I want you to keep doing that. Because if you stop, I can no longer look up to you as the responsible person in our friendship.”

His statement takes you off guard. The way he addresses you, refers to you. The way he lays open how he sees you, is surprising. But somehow, you can´t do anything but laugh at yourself. “You are right. There is no need to suddenly question this. If it´s meant to be, it will happen. And if I discover that the field ain´t it for me, I can still change course.”

“Exactly. So stop overthinking this. You are great with people. You will manage this just fine. And it will definitely be the right decision,” he adds, determination blooming for you.

“Thanks,” you mumble. A genuine smile spreads over your mouth and you give him a look of true appreciation. His eyes soften in return. And since the moment you arrived at his place, it´s the first time this evening that he fully takes you in.

The gentleness in the way you look at him. The way your mouth curves into the friendly smile you always give him. The strands of hair that fall into your face, seemingly obstruct your view, but you don´t care enough to brush them away. It's comforting how you always give him this type of attention.

Silence stretches between you. You notice his focus shifting. The atmosphere is calm, comfortable. You can´t help but acknowledge his presence more. It´s only now that you notice how close you sit together. His knee is pressing into your thigh a bit. His hand rests on the backrest, close to your face. He is staring at you now, and somehow, it feels like there is longing growing between you two.

Without questioning it, you lean your head onto his hand. He immediately reacts by letting you rest in his palm, his thumb instinctively brushing over your cheek. The touch immediately sends a quiet shiver through you.

Jeno doesn´t stop the movement, doesn´t even seem to realize he´s doing it at all. Until you softly exhale, your eyes flutter shut for just a second. Something changes in his expression then. The gentleness stays, but it deepens, turns heavier. More aware.

“You always do that,” he murmurs, his voice breaking the silence.

You open your eyes again, confused but smiling. “Do what?”

“Make things feel steady,” he says. His thumb pauses against your cheekbone. “Like I can finally breathe again.”

The words settle low in your chest. You shift slightly, not pulling away, just close enough that your legs brush more fully now. His breath catches as a result. You hear it. Feel it.

For a moment neither of you moves. The space between you suddenly feels really charged. Fragile, like any wrong move could shatter it.

Your eyes focus on him, again. Switching from one to the other. Trying to read him. He keeps up with it. Lets you try to decipher him.

The tension grows, quiet comfort settling between you two, accompanied by the charged air. Eventually, his gaze slips down to your lips. The memory of that night where he needed help and called you rushing back to his mind.

He feels hot all over again, thinking back on the way he kissed you. Let you in.

When his gaze returns to your eyes, he finds them hooded. You are looking at him with this expression that tells him so much. Yet he´s afraid of acknowledging it fully.

Your hand moves, then. Lands on his wrist that's resting on his thigh. You let your fingers brush over his skin softly. As if to tell him that it´s okay. Giving him the choice.

With a rising heartbeat, he finally leans in. He closes the distance, and then, soft lips meet yours. He kisses you warm and unhurried, giving you the option of an out any time. But you don´t need it. You return the gesture with just as much longing as him, letting it unfold, and accepting the pull that´s been building quietly all evening.

Jeno´s hand slides from your cheek to the back of your neck, steadying you, and grounding himself. He deepens the kiss, and you return it without hesitation.

It´s not rushed. Not desperate. But it´s no longer innocent, either. Unlike last time, there is pressure now. A subtle insistence. And the unmistakable realization that this is something you both want.

Your hand keeps caressing his, slowly moving over to his underarm. With each passing second, the want you feel for each other grows. There are short breaks for air. But the moment you take that breath, you are right back to kissing.

With each kiss, the distance between you shrinks. Before you know it, the hand you´ve been holding rests on your thigh, thumb circling the area gently. You pull at his t-shirt, bringing him closer to you.

Eventually, Jeno breaks the kiss. He looks at you, trying to gauge where you want to go with this while panting. Sensing the possibility for overthinking, you move, shifting your weight onto your knees. His hand still holds your thigh. And you simply cup his face, crash your lips back on his and lean forward.

Immediately, his other hand lands on your hip. He pulls you closer to him, presses your body against his, makes space for you so it's easier to kiss you. He quickly gets swallowed by the feelings that grow inside of him. The want to have you closer.

His hand keeps wandering, brushing your waist, caressing your ribs. It steals a short, breathy, gasp from you. The sound has him stiffen for a second, surprise washing over him. But at the same time, the vulnerability and fragility of it turns him on so much.

You don´t even notice his short stiffening, too intoxicated by the fluttery feeling inside your stomach that´s caused by the way he touches you. Instinctively, you press yourself unbelievably closer to him, pretty much sitting in his lap now, you don´t even notice the moment you grind down on him.

A low groan breaks your making out. But only shortly. Because before you can say anything, his lips start to plaster kisses on your jaw. Like a man who knows what he wants, he takes his time traveling down to your neck and starts sucking on your skin.

His arm is embracing your waist now, too. There is no possibility for you to move away. So you give in to the feeling, grabbing his shoulders for support. When he sucks on a certain spot on your neck, your eyes shoot open, and a shaky moan leaves your mouth.

Jeno can´t help but chuckle against your skin. His free hand takes the chance to roam under your top, while he keeps his assault on your neck going.

You can feel him everywhere. The heat of his body against yours, his wet kisses on your neck, the hand that moves over your skin. It´s all sending you to a different realm. You can feel how the heat is pooling down. How it´s growing in your lower half. And how the wetness increases between your legs.

Slowly, you start to feel fizzy. You feel the urge to let out the energy that´s growing between you two. The only way that comes to mind is sweet and simple. You did it once already. So you will keep it going. With the growing arousal, you grind down on him again, pressing your middle against him, over and over. Until you can feel his body respond.

The air is growing thick now. Jeno can feel the space in his pants become smaller. There is more urgency in the way you move against each other, keep kissing each other. And in a swift movement, Jeno looks at you, your top in his hands, waiting for a sign from you that it´s okay if he does this.

You stare at him, panting, and give him a quick nod, lifting your arms. The fabric is over your head a second later. His lips are on your collarbone next, leaving open mouthed kisses that travel to your breasts.

You fumble with his t-shirt, hands moving over the strong muscles below. You pull at the fabric, too. And Jeno makes quick work of it, taking it off with a swift movement, before returning to his previous task.

Satisfied with the revelation of more skin, you touch his shoulders, his chest, his back. All while your hips rock against his, fueling the fire in your core. Breathy moans fill the air in his living room. Your underwear is becoming uncomfortably sticky. It´s getting overwhelming.

“Jeno, your bedroom. Now,” you pant. He breaks away from your skin for a few seconds, looks at you, and in the next moment, he's lifting you up and walks to the room.

His elbow pushes open the door. He lays you down on his bed right after. Then he attacks your lips again. His mouth moves against yours. Your hands hold onto his shoulders. And he slowly climbs over you, settling between your legs.

Your legs close around his hips, pull him against you, and you relish in the feeling. Another moan leaves your mouth. Jeno descends on your skin again, sucking on your jaw, your neck, your collar bone. When he reaches the mount of your breasts, he gives you a glance. You look back at him, eyes full of anticipation. Then he skillfully takes off your bra.

His mouth immediately latches onto one of your nipples, causing you to arch into him, overwhelmed by the sensitivity. “Fuck, Jeno~” you moan, trying to contain yourself and not completely loose it.

He simply hums against you, the vibration of it doing nothing against the way every sensation travels right to your pussy. You can feel his erection growing between your legs. It fuels your desire to do something, too. So while he keeps his attack on your sensitive buds going, your hand travels down his chest. Until it reaches his pants.

Too distracted by the bliss of having you so close to him, he only notices your wandering hand when it´s already busy doing something. A throaty groan breaks his rhythm with your tit when he feels your fingers brush over his dick.

He glances up at you, a burning fire behind his gaze as he observes you. Deciding that he can play this game, too, he keeps going, giving the other nipple just as much attention. But this time, one of his hands moves over your waist down to your hips, and finally between your legs.

The moment you feel his fingers press into the fabric of your panties, giving your pussy the much wanted friction it longed for, you let out an unrestrained moan. Your eyes dart down to him, watching as he teases you. And you can´t help it, your hips push against his fingers again, chasing more of that feeling.

The pace starts to pick up. Each of your hands keep teasing the other, luring out more sounds. Eventually, Jeno has had enough of your pants, so he makes quick progress with them, and pulls them off your legs. After that, he´s back on you. He never leaves you without any touch. And now that he has it easier moving his hands, he doesn´t shy away from pushing his fingers into your panties to give your clit the needed attention.

“Jeno, please,” you whine. The feeling of his fingers is nice. But you want more.

The boy chuckles, and looks at you. “Please what? Speak with me. Tell me what you want,” he says between kisses, placing one on your shoulder, one on your cheek, and one on your forehead.

“I need you. Want you inside of me,” you tell him. Your eyes clearly showing him just how much.

“Just a little longer, okay?” He knows he has to open you up at least a little bit. He doesn´t know how active you were before, but there is no way he is risking hurting you. Recognizing your growing impatience, however, he doesn´t wait much longer, and dips one finger into you.

You let out a small gasp with the feeling. He´s careful at first. Your wetness makes him groan another time. He is already way ahead in his mind, and barely holding himself back now. But for your sake, he keeps going.

When he feels you are fine with one finger, he adds another. He can feel you clench around him especially when he curls them. Your eyes close with the growing feeling inside your lower stomach, and you are fisting the sheets by now, close to the edge.

Recognizing the signs, Jeno slows down a bit. He adds a third finger, though, stretching you out even further. You moan with the added fullness, your hips meeting his hand in a steady rhythm.

You can feel the knot tighten. Your breathing is more and more shallow, broken by soft moans. You are going down with the bliss. Jeno keeps pushing right at that spot that feels so delicious inside of you. And then, with one more push, you feel yourself slipping into another world.

Your pussy clenches hard around his fingers. Your hands fist the sheets, turning your knuckles white. Your legs start to shake. And while you go over the edge, he fucks you through it. Until the last wave of your orgasm is over, and he feels you pull away due to the overstimulation.

You are a panting mess when you come back to your senses. Jeno´s hand is caressing your inner thigh while he scatters soft kisses over your shoulder. Only when you feel ready again, will he focus on his own wants.

You glance at him, recognize the strain in his pants. Then, when you are able to focus again, you move. Your hands are on his shoulders, caressing his skin. Your mouth latches onto his throat this time, scattering it with kisses.

It takes him by surprise, but he can´t deny that it makes his head feel like it´s spinning. Whatever you do to him, it has his heart racing and his stomach flutter with a feeling he can´t describe.

He is so distracted by the attack on him, he fails to notice the way you shift your position until he´s almost fully on his back.

He blinks a few times when he realizes, but lets you do whatever, regardless. You already feel horny again, in desperate need for him to fill you up. So you make quick work with his pants, and free his dick from the restrains of the fabric.

Your hand immediately moves to take him, wrapping around him and moving in slow, steady motions. The sudden friction has his stomach muscles tighten while a groan slips out of his mouth. And when he fully takes you in, the way you are on top of him, ready to devour him. He swallows heavily.

“Fuck! You look so fucking hot,” he curses, one hand moving to hold your hips.

You simply chuckle at him. And when you are done stroking his dick some more, you get ready. “I doubt you have any condoms at home.” Your voice sounds a little hoarse, and there is a teasing edge to it.

Jeno hates to admit it. But you are right with your assumption. With his lack of a girlfriend and the lack of wanting to hoe around, he didn´t buy any in a long time. So he shakes his head. “Hate to say it, but you are right,” he groans, already accepting the fact that you are going to stop right there.

But before he gets to think about it more, you are already aligning yourself with him. And in the next moment, you sink down on him, slowly.

Feeling your wet walls take him, he moans. The deeper you take him, the tighter you feel. He has to concentrate really hard not to cum right then and there.

Stuck in your own bliss, you close your eyes. The way his dick pushes against your walls feels so delicious, you could get used to having this every day. Only when he´s fully inside do you open your eyes again. Your breaths are heavy, and when you look at him, a sweet, satisfied smirk on your face, do you see the way he´s struggling to keep it together.

You don´t move right away, giving him and yourself time to adjust to each other. You place your palms on his chest for support, and then whisper, “Jeno, no need to hold back, okay?”

It takes a few seconds for him to fully comprehend your words. But right when he understands them, you lift yourself up and sink back down on him. The sudden friction has his hands grip your hips tightly. He's sure he will leave bruises on your skin if this keeps going.

Your mouth opens slightly, letting out a soft moan when you start moving. You look at the man below you, to see if he feels uncomfortable with anything. But when you see the hungry gaze, and the way he is trying really hard not to slam into you with all his might, you do it again.

Your hips lift and sink down again. And again. And then your pace picks up. With the rhythm you are setting, you are letting go. The moans are spilling out of you. Jeno´s knuckles are turning white. And even though you told him not to hold back, he still doesn´t want to hold you in place and abuse your pussy.

With each move of your hips, your pace increases. The knot in your lower stomach starts to form quickly. The sounds you two make turn you on even more. And the longer you keep this up, the closer you are to another orgasm.

Jeno notices. He can feel the way you clench around him, the way your movements get sloppier. He guesses your thighs are starting to burn, too. Feeling close himself, it takes every bit of willpower in him to hold out longer. There is a sudden switch in him, though, and within seconds he has decided he wants you to come differently.

In fast movements you find yourself back on your back. A yelp leaves your mouth with the sudden change of position. Big eyes stare at the man who´s now on top of you again with curiosity. You are panting, until he starts to move, ramming into you with powerful, rhythmic thrusts.

On reflex, you hold onto him, moaning louder now. The change in angle has you seeing stars, especially because he feels so much deeper like this. You can't help but scratch his skin within your blissed out state, making the boy his lightly.

He feels really close to release. So to speed up your orgasm just a little bit, he pushes onto your lower belly with one hand, and uses his thumb to circle your clit. The sounds that escape you right after, are music in his ears. He loses himself in them a bit, and then he can feel the edge.

Seconds later, he releases into you with a low groan, but keeps going until he can feel you clench around him really hard.

Your legs start to shake again as you tip over the edge, your second orgasm taking you to another world again. Jeno keeps his thrusts going, taking you through the high. He only slowly pulls out when your limbs slip from him and you pant, exhausted.

When you come back down from the high of the orgasm, you can feel featherlight kisses on your cheek. You lock eyes with the man lying down next to you, and move in to place a kiss on his lips. You don´t care about the mess between your legs, or the sticky state you are in. You simply move closer to him and get comfortable in his arms.

“What are we going to do now?” he mumbles.

“Well, you don´t have to worry about me giving birth to a child. I can reassure you about that. I take the pill,” you answer, earning yourself a chuckle from him.

“Good to know,” he retorts, but the question still leaves open the other things that probably should get addressed.

You exhale comfortably, exhaustion starting to cloud your mind. “Let´s worry about anything else later. For now, I just really want to cuddle.”

In his mind, Jeno agrees. The moment feels too vulnerable to ruin it with anything verbal. So he pulls you just a little bit closer, places another kiss on your forehead, and decides to let the topic rest.

XIX. WHEN THE NIGHT ENDS, MORNING SHINES

You don´t really meet up or text much after that night. Somehow, both of you are very busy with so many things—be it family meet ups for Jeno with his aunt and Bom, or you having to do double shifts at the cafe. You are so busy, you even forget about the applications you've sent out to the jobs and the ones Jeno submitted for the universities of your choice.

Time passes like it´s something infinite that can´t run out, and one morning when you finally have a day off, you check your mailbox, finding surprising envelopes inside. The moment you step back into your livingroom, you are on your phone dialing Jeno´s number.

It rings a few times. You are about to hang up, thinking he is busy or something, when he finally picks up with a groggy tone. “Hmm?”

“Come over,” you demand. It makes the boy on the other line raise his eyebrow in confusion.

“Damn, not even a hello, how are you?” he retorts, a smile forming on his lips. He knows he didn't greet you properly, either.

“Lee jeno, get your ass over to my place. I am dying of curiosity and I don´t want to wait more than necessary,” you deadpan, leaving him even more confused. To enlighten him because you notice, you add, “I received interesting mail. It concerns both your and my application. Now put on your shoes and take your ass over to my place.”

The added context makes something click in his brain. He forgot about the whole job thing, too, too busy thinking about other things in regards to your and his type of relationship.

You can hear the rustling of a jacket and shoes being put on. Then the jingle of keys echoes through to you. “I´ll be there in 10,” Jeno says and ends the phone call. You chuckle, recognizing the urgency and therefore assuming he is just as excited as you are. So you wait for him, not really caring much about your appearance or how messy your apartment looks.

10 minutes later—just like he said—Jeno rings your doorbell. You let him in without checking, and just press the button. Footsteps hurry up the stairs, and seconds later he stands in front of you. There is no serious greeting. He just steps inside, takes off his shoes and jacket and rushes over to your couch. You follow and present the envelopes to him right when he sits down.

“I am a bit scared to open them. You do it,” you prompt, much to Jeno´s despair.

“But I am nervous, too. You do it,” he argues, giving you a puppy-like pout.

You debate with yourself, eventually partially giving in. “I will open yours and you open mine.”

“Deal.” His hand looks through the pile of letters and then takes out the one addressed to you. You watch on in anticipation as he fumbles with the paper of the envelope, almost getting so impatient, you are about to scold him for taking so long. But then, he actually opens it, reads it, and a smile starts to grow on his face.

You want to rip out your hair with the way the seconds seem to pass like hours. And even though the boy starts smiling like a freak, you still assume the worst. “What does it say? Tell me.”

“Well, I can tell you right now that you are getting busier again, because certainly you are starting that job at the school next month,” he reveals and lays the paper on the table.

You squeal with excitement, trying to contain a bit of it, because the man in front of you is also still waiting for an answer on his own application. So you give him the brightest grin ever, your eyes shining with happiness, and move to grab the envelope addressed to him.

Feeling almost too overwhelmed, you get up as you open the paper, and walk back and forth in front of your coffee table. Jeno nervously watches you, scared of a negative result and fearing he will stay jobless for the rest of his life unless it´s fighting in a cage.

The paper of the envelope is discarded, falling down to the floor while you unfold the letter and start reading it line by line. Your eyes flow over the words, and the more you read, the more you feel like you want to jump up and down in excitement again.

Jeno can´t take it anymore. Your silence is too much for him, so he gets up too, slowly moving towards you. But when you are done reading the letter, and turn to him, you don´t say anything. You just take a few steps and jump into his arms, squealing like a little girl who's gotten the best birthday present in her whole life.

“We are going to have lunch breaks together!” you say, trying not to yell into his ear as the words settle in for him. He holds your middle while comprehending what you just said. Then he blinks. And binks again, just to stare at you in disbelief.

“I got the job?” he asks in disbelief, still feeling like he is currently dreaming and fearing that any moment now is the time for him to wake up. But when you nod eagerly, and grin at him, his smile grows. “Oh my god, I got a real job. I can´t believe it.”

“Yes! I am so proud of you!” you keep squealing and actually jump up and down this time. And when the wave of disbelief finally disappears, Jeno pulls you closer to him and hugs you so strongly, you almost can´t breathe.

After coming down from the initial high of excitement about both of you landing the jobs you wanted, you come to realize that there are two more envelopes on the table. Both of you glance at them with a bit of hesitancy. You are too scared to look at them, knowing they give you answers about your academic future.

Jeno takes one of them slowly, playing with the edge of it a little. He debates on just opening it, but then he looks at you. “Should I…open them for you? Or do you want to do it yourself?” His voice comes out gentle, yet cautious.

You exhale, and rub your sweaty palms on your sweatpants to dry them. “I…I think I should do it myself.” Your heart is pounding in your chest as Jeno holds out the envelope to you. You take it with a shaky hand and exhale once more. “The worst that can happen is that I have to wait a few more years and reapply. A rejection is not the end of the world.”

The words are mainly to calm yourself down, but Jeno nods regardless. He knows how much this means to you because it's the first step to achieving your dream. So he looks at you, waiting for you to feel ready, and presses his thumbs.

Taking the courage, your finger slips into the edge of the paper, tearing it open. Seconds later, you slowly pull out the actual letter. Your eyes are closed as you unfold it. There is another exhale that follows while the boy with you starts to hold his in anticipation for you.

When you open your eyes, you read the name of the university first. From all the ones you applied to, this one was the one you wanted to get in most. Your first pick. You internally curse for pulling this one first, but now there is no going back anymore.

You scan the first sentences, read the greeting, and then you start to decipher the words in regards to your application, eventually reading what it says out loud in a mumble. “...we are pleased to inform you that you have been admitted to the Neo Culture Technology University of arts and social science.”

The moment those words leave your mouth, your hand clasps it shut. You are in utter shock, rereading the same sentence over and over, barely believing what you are reading is actually standing on that paper.

Jeno immediately walks over to you, happy to hear that your top pick decided to accept you, and he doesn't hold back from taking you in his arms and hugging you to share the happiness. “Congratulations. I am so happy for you. It´s finally going the way it´s supposed to go,” he says softly.

You look up at him before burying your face in his shoulder and hugging him back, letter still in your hand. “God, I´m so happy,” you mumble against him, almost shedding a few tears of joy with the rush of adrenaline from the good news. Jeno smiles, too, intoxicated by your joy and the excitement from earlier.

“You should open the other letter, too. Now you have no reason to fear anything anymore,” he suggests eventually. You nod, slowly letting go of him and going over to take the other envelope. Opening it doesn´t take you as long this time. And when you read what it says, your jaw drops once more.

“They are accepting me, too…I have to decline one. This is…this is insane,” you stutter, too stunned to form straight sentences. When you look at the boy still standing close to you, you are met with a sweet smile and crescend eyes that stare at you with so much emotion, you almost choke.

“See, there was no need to be scared. You are just that amazing,” he says, and sets his hand down on your shoulder to ground you a little and make sure you know this is all real.

Hearing him say that, you smile back. “Thank you for believing in me. And sending out the applications. If it wasn´t for you doing that, I would still doubt myself and wait to finally do it myself.”

“It´s nothing.” He shakes off your words. You want to argue but he stops you before you can. “Actually, there is one more thing we need an answer to, today,” he then mumbles, looking away and scratching the back of his head.

You put down the papers, and look at him with a raised eyebrow, too confused about his statement. All envelopes are already opened. So what does he mean?

Your silence makes him return his gaze to you. He is met with your puzzled expression and chuckles because he knows he has to elaborate. But before he does, he gently takes your wrist and guides you towards your couch so you can sit down with him.

He doesn´t let go of it, either, once he sits down. Instead, his thumb starts drawing little circles onto your skin. You can sense the nervousness that´s suddenly coming from him, but you don´t push it. You wait for him to feel ready.

Then, he finally faces you. “I…have no idea what the future has in store for either of us,” he starts, swallowing shortly after. His thumb even stops its movement on your wrist. “I know you are going to be busy with the second job and when you start your studies, but…” He stops. You recognize just how hard it is for him to keep going, even though you don´t know what he wants to say.

You encourage him regardless. “Jeno, it´s okay.” Your voice is gentle. Careful not to break the fragile courage he has built to speak.

And it lands. The words have an effect. Because in the next moment, his gaze finds yours again. He exhales another time, and goes on. “Y/N, I´ve started to like you a lot. And I´m really scared we are going to see each other less if we get so busy now. So I just…do you want to be my girlfriend?”

There is silence. Then you let out a chuckle, shaking your head in amusement. “Jeno, you are so cute, you know that?” you start and take his hand in yours. “I like you too. And of course I want to.” You smile now, a little overwhelmed by all the positive feelings.

Immediately after you answer him, his eyes light up. He pulls you close for the third time, not knowing where to go with his joy, so his arms wrap around you and he buries his face in your neck.

You reciprocate the embrace and brush your fingers through his hair, adoring this soft side of him that he's been showing more often recently. You really could get used to this.

Jeno´s next words have you chuckle again. The boy really is just so silly sometimes, it´s simply too cute. “I am so happy right now, I could kiss you.” It sounds innocent, and you are sure he didn't fully realize what he said.

“What´s stopping you?” you retort then, a lazy smile on your face. His head shoots up, surprised by the boldness, even though, really, he should have expected it. His eyes are wide until he recovers from this weird daze he is in with all the serotonin. Then, his hands cup your face, and in the next moment, he pulls you closer. You meet him in the middle, gently placing your lips on his as you kiss him with so much love.

When you break apart, you are sure your face is going to cramp from all the smiling you´ve been doing the past half hour. But you don´t really care. There are too little ways to express just how lucky you feel right now. And you are sure, Jeno feels the same.

۶ৎ

Six months later, you´ve gotten used to university life. It´s been a few weeks since you started courses, and you have to say, it´s exactly what you´ve been looking forward to. You finally feel like all the work and stress was for something. That you finally reached the first goal in your life, defeating the doubt your parents showed you.

You´ve decided to stop working at the midnight cafe a month ago as well, feeling that the job at the school and studying at university is enough for you now. You are happy with what you are doing and you wouldn´t want it any other way, even if that cafe holds a lot of memories and beginnings for you.

You see Jeno often. For one because he literally works in the same building, sharing lunch breaks with you as planned, and for the other, because you are currently looking for a bigger apartment so the two of you can move in together.

The big step lights a new fire inside of you. Life has been so forgiving now that you´ve established this rhythm with him. If anyone saw you two together, they would definitely judge you as the happiest couple on the planet right now. It feels so great to breathe again, not having to worry about the issues you resolved together in the past. Even though you had to give that stressful time the benefit of the doubt. It's precisely because of those times that you found new friendship and love.

If you had the chance to change anything, you wouldn´t dare to do anything. Times were rough, yes. But you wouldn't want to risk changing the outcome. Diving into all these unknown things, holding up the belief in yourself and Jeno. It´s what brought you this happy ending.

As you walk through the corridors of the university, you think you dwelled enough in the past. It's fun to think back time and time again, remembering how everything came to be, but now the focus is on what's ahead of you.

So when you push open the doors, breathe in the warm summer air, and see the red haired boy stand on the sidewalk—Bom in his arms happily waving—you can't help but smile. You take your bag into your hand and start hopping down the stairs, making your way towards them.

The moment you reach them, you place your lips on Jeno´s, then you greet the small girl. The little girl mirrors your smile and laughs happily. “How was your day?” Jeno asks, looking at you with so much love and adoration in his eyes, you are sure everyone around you knows he´s down bad.

“Oh, definitely interesting. Today the prof had a whole speech about some students being on their phones too much during the classes. I had to hold my mouth shut to not laugh out loud because he kept on going about it, constantly repeating himself. And by the time he was done, the class was over which made him even angrier.” You chuckle as you tell him about your day.

While you talk, you start walking, enjoying the warm breeze of the wind and the sunshine that meets your skin. Bom eventually starts to move a lot so Jeno sets her down, instead taking her hand and leisurely walking with her alongside you. He laughs whenever you say something funny, or asks questions about the few new friends you've made.

“Right, this reminds me, Karina asked me if I had a daughter the other day. She really thought Bom was our kid.” You chuckle while saying this. But the shade of red that starts to grace Jeno´s ears doesn´t go past you either.

Some images pop up in his head while you mention it. He tries to contain himself, but your expression tells him there is no need. “What did you say?” he asks, curious.

“I teased her at first, but then told her the truth. Still, it was quite the talk. And then I had to think about you, because honestly, Bom kind of does feel like a daughter. And while she is just your little sister, she matters just as much to me,” you answer honestly, putting certain words in quotation marks.

Jeno smiles hearing that. He knows you care about Bom as much as he does, so he appreciates you mentioning it. “Anyway, are you ready to meet Jaemin and Yuqi later? Can´t believe we are clubbing for the first time since forever.” Your voice breaks through, again, reminding him of your plans.

“I told them we will have a playdate with Bomi first and get ready once we bring her back to my aunt. So I hope they don´t get on our nerves if we are late. But over all, I have to say I am actually quite excited,” he reveals, laughing a little while he imagines Jaemin scolding him for not coming earlier.

You giggle, too, and take Bom´s other hand when she pulls at your pants for your attention. “If he complains just tell me. I will scold him in return for still working at that shady ass club.” This makes Jeno laugh even more. He knows you´ve tried to get Jaemin to do something more honest, too, but his best friend is just way too stubborn. He recalls the way he argued that he first has to find himself a girlfriend the same way he did. So unless such a girl comes and drags him out of the club, he won´t change careers anytime soon.

You keep walking and joking around more while making your way to the playground. Jeno has packed some sandwiches he takes out when you arrive. And then, after eating, you start playing with the little girl, pushing her on the swings or helping her climb the wooden pirate ship in the sandpit. Jeno watches you, eventually joining in on the fun.

۶ৎ

Later that night, as promised, and after saying goodbye to his little sister, he walks with you, hand in hand. The bass is audible outside. And the moment you step inside, the music hits you head on. You don´t mind, however. You are looking forward to having some fun with your boyfriend, and so is he.

You two greet Jaemin when you finally see him. The boy teases his friend and then you. “Hey, snow lion, long time no see. How is it going.”

Laughter escapes you as you hit his upper arm playfully. “Yah, bunny boy, how about you tell me where my best friend is? She texted me she´s already here,” you retort, earning yourself an amused look from Jeno.

Jaemin, who is used to this kind of banter with you already, points towards the bar. Of course Yuqi is there. You excuse yourself for a moment to get her and help her with the drinks. And while you are away, Jeno catches up with his friend. “Ready for a fight?” the boy teases.

Jeno shakes his head amused. “Those times are over. If anything, I gotta watch you in there. You used to fight, too. Where did the courage go, huh?” he teases playfully. The conversation keeps going, and when you return with the young woman, carrying 4 glasses of different concoctions of alcohol with her, the boys help you by taking one from each of you.

For the rest of the night, the atmosphere stays great. The four of you enjoy the music, the drinks. Eventually, you find yourself close to your boyfriend. His hands are resting on your hips as you closely dance together. There is a familiar tension between you two. And while you look like a normal couple to anyone else that watches, only the two of you understand how intimate this moment really feels.

It carries similarities to other memories. The location itself too. In general, everything has so much connection, and holds so much meaning. It makes this evening even better.

In the end, your lips find each other's again and again. Each kiss seals a decision. And soon enough, it´s no longer the dance floor you are on, but the changing room that has to give in to your desire for each other.

The passion you share now, reflects all the hardships you´ve been through together. And unlike at the start, you now move like a team—in harmony, aware that the other will always be there, and that neither of you have to solely rely on yourselves anymore. Everything that once forced you to stand alone led you here. And this time, you don't have to face the unknown by yourselves anymore.

an: I hope whoever read this liked it. I know the romance wasn't the main focus but I had many scenes in mind and wanted to write a story that connects them. It just so happened that this story turned more into a piece of slice of life instead of full on romance. I just wanted their relationship to happen naturally throughout all that happens, and show how some of these types of situations can bring people closer. I am also aware that the smut part might not be up to par, but honestly, I am surprised I even added it in. My focus wasn't on the whole physical aspects of a relationship hehe. And technically, this is my first time writing smut too, so don't be too hard on me 👉👈 Anyway, I hope I didn't disappoint with this. If you want to read something more lengthy and even more slow burn, I would be really happy if you guys check out my other work Eden. It's a lengthy fic that's still ongoing, but I have a lot in mind for it and I hope it won't get boring. Likes, comments, reblogs are all appreciated 💕

With lots of love from your favorite yapper (or not. I have big competition with Chenle and Mark. I'm aware) Bye👋

tags: @withlovemark, @7dreambaby, @notmastyle, @nana888888, @aeioa, @ypoom151999, @adiknyamingyu, @strawbabyz, @mixxie2203, @briii-14, @nah140508,

#jeno angst

Trending Tags

Recently Viewed Tags