Theres only one word left to sing, Goodbye.
So, as I stated in the ooc blog, I’ve been dealing with this ever since the Sophie pregnancy rumors started. I don’t want Sophie to have any children, at least not for now, because my Sophie is not in a mentally stable place to have any kids, so I’m always very sure to mention the fact that she’s on contraception if it ever comes up, because that’s just the way I wanted her to go.
This is gonna get long, so go grab yourself a cup of coffee or a can of diet Coke, some snacks and read along if you can even be assed to.
I was approached by the main when I made a joke of it to please not talk about it until they decided what they wanted to do about the rule of making people keep or not keep their babies. Let it be known that there’s a person in this roleplay who, a while back, had this same situation where her real life celebrity became pregnant and asked the main if she could keep the baby, and was told no because it would be unfair to all the people who had been waiting for baby plots. When I brought this up, they said it was their mistake at the time, and that they were now enforcing it as a rule and had denied the request plenty of times. So this isn’t something that’s been going on for ages, it’s been only a couple of months back. So I waited, staying off the topic unless it was brought up, until I was told very quickly that I’d be forced to keep the baby because it was disrespectful to the celebrity and the baby and that it was in the rules of the group. I tried exploring options (adoptions, pregnancy complications and others I won’t mention because even though they’re real things that really happen, they may be triggering), but was told that none of them would work, that I’d have to keep the baby, and the baby would have to be Joe’s (not an NPC) because if in the future we ever had a Joe, it would be disrespectful and complicated to work around it. I respected their decision, because I’ve always been nothing but accommodating to whatever the main says because I understand this is their group, and if I’m in it, I have to follow the rules. It’s something I accepted and it’s something I understand as a person. I was offered the chance to switch and swap storylines with someone else, which was nice of them because until November I think I’m out of switches, but I declined because Sophie is my baby, and I wasn’t gonna do anything until the pregnancy was either confirmed or dismissed.
I chose to keep playing Sophie as she was, ignoring the pregnancy because it hadn’t been officially announced, and just playing her out like I was. But nobody was saying anything from her team, and pictures that came out kept hinting towards the fact that she was undoubtably pregnant, so it came to a point where I’m having stress dreams and panic induced anxiety attacks because I don’t know where my own character may be going. I’ve talked it over with people, I’ve gotten plenty of opinions, so last night I sent the main a message listing all the reasons why I saw that this new disposition of making me keep the baby was not only disrespectful to me and to my whole character development, but it was also godmodding me and other people in my storyline when forced to “get creative” and accommodate the new child into Sophie’s storyline. I sent this in hopes that all my reasons would make them see, but I got a reply today basically saying that it’s an extension to the rules that exist today about not eliminating any real life children, that it was implied from the beginning and that they understood that it was changing my storyline, but they said that there’s many celebrities that don’t show their children and that’s not saying they’re bad parents (so if Sophie were to have the baby and send it off to Joe and never mention it and act as if the baby didn’t happen, she’s clearly not a bad parent, she just ignores her child and doesn’t even reference it, spends all her time away from it and doesn’t recognize it exists), but in the end, they’d be happy to allow me the creativity I need to make sure I can fit this into my storyline but sticking to their terms and conditions. That they hadn’t changed their decision and hoped I respected it. Which I do.
Granted, this now meant that the whole plot I’d been working on with Faith, our Aaron, was now rendered useless, because they’ve been talking for the better part of three months now, Sophie hadn’t had sex with anyone beforehand and even if she had and had fallen pregnant, she wouldn’t have kept it a secret from Aaron, and if Aaron had found out, he wouldn’t have gotten with Sophie. So this either meant that if I wanted to keep my that had been developing organically, I had to force Aaron to be the baby’s father, or I had to make Sophie a liar and destroy both our characters in the making. Easy to say, Faith said no to this, which I not only accept but understand and share, so that would be three months of my character development down the drain. (this has all been cleared by Faith, I’m not putting any words into anyone’s mouth).
So after all of this and a lot of thinking, I’ve decided I can no longer stay in a group where I don’t have control of my characters. Even though they are based on real people, we’re not playing them. We’re not controlling them, we don’t claim to be them or act on their behalf, they’re just characters with their faces and names. If you don’t like seeing it that way, then I respect you, but that’s just what I see them. Shells of people we admire to fill up with a storyline that makes us happy, keeping it as close as possible when we can but also being respectful of all the time we’ve put into them.
I’ve learned that groups are like countries, with bodies that make decisions and people who live in them. As much as we’re consulted on some things to vote, big decisions are made in a small round table between a few people who vote and decide on what to do by themselves, which is a respectable way of living in a democratic order and not chaos, and we get no say in them. And as a person living in that country, you can either stick to the rules, ask nicely for them to be changed if you don’t agree or move along. I’ve stuck to all of the rules, I’ve asked nicely for them to be changed when I don’t agree with something, and upon receiving an answer I’m not comfortable with, I’m moving aside. Roleplays are supposed to be a fun, stress free place, and with this new rule, I find myself not being comfortable, so I’m simply moving along to a place where I do feel comfortable and where I feel like rules are more fair.
As is said on the ooc blog, to the handfuls of people I love dearly here, you all know who you are and I won’t name names, I hope life can make us find each other again, either on roleplays or in real life, I’ve learned so much about you and am so happy to call some of you close and dear friends who I’ve shared more of my life than most of the people I see on a daily basis. I’m always available on Discord, my personal or WhatsApp, where I’ll happily tell you where you can find me most often and hopefully see you very soon.
And to all the people with characters here who are getting near the age bracket of having a baby in real life (because if this rule applies to women, it better apply to men too), here’s to hoping they don’t get pregnant if you don’t want to, because you’ll be having to flex your creative muscles to help life find a way.
With so much love and affection,
Charlie.
PS: I’m leaving my small/not message on how I think it’s a lack of respect that the main was making me keep Sophie’s baby down there, because I think it’s something that adds to the tale. If anyone wants any of my messages, let me know and I’ll happily share them. I won’t share any screenshots of the mains responses out of respect for them.
Hi guys, So, I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole pregnancy situation with Sophie, and since it hasn’t been announced yet (and knowing how private Joe and Sophie are they may not even announce it until they have to, which could be after the quarantine and we don’t even know when that will end), I just wanted to ask you again, to please reconsider the previous decision you’d made about making me keep Sophie’s baby.
Firstly, I understand how you’re trying to respect the celebrity and the child, but I think as much as you’re respecting them in their real life, you’re disrespecting me and all the work and development I’ve put Sophie through. She’s been here since the start, almost two years, where she’s been through so long, made so many connections and had so many points that have turned her into who she is today with all of her decisions, her life choices and what she wants and doesn’t want from life. This is my Sophie, much like each of your own characters is your own, and you’ve shaped them through time in what they like, don’t like, want and don’t want.
Secondly, making me do this would be godmodding my character into doing something I don’t want. I know it’s not a character that would be doing the godmodding, but it’s having a God figure magically implanting something into my character that I don’t want. I thought this roleplay was born to avoid stuff like that, to have a fun place to feel safe and not pressured by anyone.
Thirdly, it would be inconsistent with the timeline Sophie has, especially with the whole Coronavirus situation that the group is following. Sophie hasn’t been with anyone for a long time, and for the past couple of months, she’s been with Aaron, not officially but with feelings, so she hasn’t exactly been sleeping around. And seeing as COVID will probably keep everything on lockdown at least until August or September, it won’t be realistic because Aaron would be the only option for a father. Faith and I have already talked about it, and that’s not a direction she wants to take Aaron in, so I won’t force her to have the baby be Aaron’s. But it still doesn’t make sense for her to magically fall pregnant of a one night stand she had with Joe or anyone else, because that would alter her personality and the storyline I have now, and again, that’s godmodding and that’s unfair to me and disrespectful to me and my character. Plus, since we don’t know when this will be announced, we may be writing all of their character and relationship development for nothing, because we would just have to erase it to make the whole new storyline of the baby fit, which I don’t want to do.
This has been filling me with anxiety, I’ve literally been having anxiety attacks and haven’t been able to sleep just thinking about the future because as much as I wanna keep writing Sophie like the fun spirit she is and everyone seems to like writing with, and being in this group, because I love it and I love being here, I can’t keep developing a character that from one day to another, will change drastically if the pregnancy gets announced and I’m forced to keep the baby.
I really hope this helps you rethink the choice you’ve made a few months back, because Sophie is my favorite character here, I love her and the connections she’s made, and I’d hate to have to erase everything and change her whole demeanor just for one new rule.
Thanks for reading,
Charlie.
