Untitled.

hello.

[depsidase]

[guerrillatech]

[titkoks]

[theepicyus]

his eyes say it all and it really really makes the video from an 8/10 to a full tenouttaten

[aquilacalvitium]

You can just SEE the moment where they realise their girlfriend has walked in but they just. Keep. Singing.

[jhameia]

I need everyone to know, if they did not already know, that he has never stopped making that mask nor videos with that mask.

[warandpeas]

Thank you for reading! Have a wonderful Holiday season everybody.

If you want more War and Peas like a physical love letter delivered every month, BTS footage or secret comics, make sure to become a patron:

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creating Comics

[raptorific]

I think we as a society tend to forget that the movie "Freaky Friday" starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Mark Harmon hinges entirely on the narrative's assertion that Chinese people have magic powers

[raptorific]

The 2003 movie. The movie that came out like 20 years ago. There is no plot without the movie asking the audience to believe, without explanation, that a random middle aged Chinese woman has the ability to very easily place mystical curses on people

[raptorific]

The funniest part of it is the running joke that this Chinese lady/Restaurant owner/Wizard has a daughter who implies she does this shit all the time, to customers, and is FED UP with her mother's mystical nonsense. Like obviously it's a blatantly racist plot element, the writers would certainly never would've had the plot kicked off by a curse cast by Mama Ravioli at the Spaghetti Warehouse, and it was specifically the Orientalism of it all that led them to write "and their bodies switched because they had a fight in a Chinese restaurant in front of the owner, and of course Chinese people have Powers" but also like. The dynamic with the restaurant owner and her daughter, who desperately wants her to stop supernaturally meddling in the lives of strangers, is so much more interesting than what's going on with Jamie Lee Curtis and whoever played the daughter in that movie. They could make a banger Disney+ show out of "The Chinese Restaurant That Curses You To Resolve Your Issues If You Have A Fight There" except that it would absolutely remind people that Disney, in Avril Lavigne's America, released a movie that depended entirely on the audience's willingness to believe Chinese people are secretly wizards

[raptorific]

Obviously old Italian ladies have magic powers in real life but this is a post about how different groups are portrayed in movies. Also, I can't stress this enough, when an Italian puts a curse on you it's not to help you come out happier and healthier on the other side. It's to make bad things happen to you until you die.

[cannibalcaprine]

i feel like we don't appreciate these days how much the twin towers sucked, like, design-wise

they were contemporarily hated for just being these giant grey monoliths

like there probably could've been an easier way to get rid of them, but they probably needed to go either way

[tgirl-subway-the-dark-ages]

crying at this. the curb is brutalist. the sidewalk is brutalist. house made of concrete bricks is brutalist. lmao??

[cue-jay]

[oneheadtoanother]

[shamebats]

[feverdreamfigment]

[bogleech]

pro lifer blocked me on twitter for asking this but if embryos have souls, and then they're aborted, exactly how sapient are they in the afterlife? Are they forever doomed to float around with no thoughts in their heads? Is it like just animal intelligence like a little happy goldfish? Do they still have an embryonic form? I've always seen an assumption that child souls are still in child form so I guess so. Do the other people in the afterlife keep abortions as little pets? Will they stay in a fishbowl or are they too stupid + intangible and float right out again?

[tauforged]

[silver-tongues-blog]

if you dont abort, angels will starve

[romanceyourdemons]

first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

[romanceyourdemons]

second day as a second century warlord i bribe a bunch of kids to start singing a nursery rhyme i carefully crafted to spread misinformation and further my strategic ends but they change the lyrics to be about poop and the enemy isn’t misdirected at all

[romanceyourdemons]

third day as a second century warlord i lure my enemy into a narrow valley and send a team of archers to shoot them from the high ground but there was a feral hog napping on the trail up to the overlook and they couldn’t decide whether to try and shoot it or just go around and by the time the hog woke up and left on its own the enemy had already passed safely below

[romanceyourdemons]

fourth day as a second century warlord we attempt to join a battle on the side of the guy we want to ally with but he and the guy he’s fighting have really similar names and it’s finally dusty and i misread the standards and attack the wrong guy. so now we’re stuck with this total loser of a liege lord, because how the fuck do you explain that after a battle?

[romanceyourdemons]

fifth day as a second century warlord and some sort of wizard wanders into camp, my loser liege lord wants to execute him for being a wizard but i convince him to let the wizard stay, because i want to do more weather-based strategies and i’m pretty sure having a camp wizard can help with that. after the welcome to the team banquet the wizard steals half the treasury and my liege lord’s wife and leaves

[romanceyourdemons]

sixth day as a second century warlord my loser liege lord sends me to reinforce a city he’s taken, but in the confusion of leaving i forgot to take the token that would have gotten us into the city, so my men have to wait outside the city walls for like eight hours while i ride back to get it

[romanceyourdemons]

seventh day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord finally joins me in the city, it turns out he’s actually a pretty cool guy, and he isn’t even that mad at me for letting the wizard steal his wife. i decide to shoot my shot but i’m really nervous and keep on stalling because what if i mess up our relationship and by extension jeopardize the security of my men, and eventually he just says goodnight and goes back to his room, where an assassin is in the process of setting up to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

eighth day as a second century warlord and my loser liege lord tells me to fake defect to his rival warlord, the one i originally wanted to ally with, to find out if he was the one who sent the assassin and why. but my whole way over to the rival warlord i’m worried that this has something to do with the wizard thing or how awkward i made it last night

[romanceyourdemons]

ninth day as a second century warlord i try to tactfully ask my fake liege lord if he sent the assassin to kill my loser liege lord and it turns out the idea of using assassins never occurred to him, but now that i’ve suggested it he’s really into it. in order to save my loser liege lord i volunteer to be the one to kill him

[romanceyourdemons]

tenth day as a second century warlord on my way back to my loser liege lord’s city i realize i won’t be able to collect my men from my fake liege lord until i bring back my loser liege lord’s head. this would have been a great thing to think of before i got myself in this situation. i go back to my loser liege lord and ask him to rescue my men, and he tells me that if he could sack my fake liege lord’s camp he already would have. that doesn’t change the fact that my men are still trapped. they’re prisoners, even. i go back to my room to sulk

[romanceyourdemons]

eleventh day as a second century warlord i find a little caged pigeon in the rafters of my loser liege lord’s room and deduce it belonged to the assassin. without asking permission or telling my loser liege lord goodbye i let the pigeon loose and follow it north. don’t ask what i was doing in my loser liege lord’s room. it’s not important

[romanceyourdemons]

twelfth day as a second century warlord i disguise myself as a wizard and enter the camp of the coalition leader the pigeon led me to. in the middle of my little sleight of hand performance i make eye contact with the coalition leader’s second-in-command. IT’S THE WIZARD THAT STOLE MY LOSER LIEGE LORD’S WIFE. after the banquet i corner the fake wizard and ask him what the fuck is going on and he just says “wouldn’t you like to know” and leaves. i don’t know what to say to that so i just let him go

[romanceyourdemons]

thirteenth day as a second century warlord i’m honestly so sick of not knowing what’s going on, so i adjust my wizard costume to passably disguise myself as a woman and break into the women’s area of the camp, where sure enough my loser liege lord’s wife is. i ask her what she’s doing here and she tells me the fake wizard overheard her singing a poem she overheard on the street, not knowing it contains the coalition leader’s formation’s weaknesses. the fake wizard kidnapped her and assigned an assassin to kill her husband before they figured out the poem’s significance. she shares the first couplet with me but i’m discovered and thrown out before she can share any more. she doesn’t need to. through a bizarre coincidence of homophones, it’s the poop version of my misinformation nursery rhyme

[romanceyourdemons]

fourteenth day as a second century warlord i go back to my loser liege lord and tell him everything, urging him to join with my fake liege lord to attack the coalition leader according to the weaknesses in the nursery rhyme. he tells me frankly that he doesn’t trust me anymore. i ask him to execute me if that’s really true, because i can’t bear to live if i can’t protect him and i can’t protect my men. he agrees to attack the coalition leader

[romanceyourdemons]

fifteenth day as a second century warlord. due to the information in the nursery rhyme, and thanks to my loser liege lord reminding me of the weather conditions multiple times while planning our battle strategy, our alliance carries the day. my loser liege lord gets his wife back. my men tell me that our fake liege lord actually treated them really well and they’d like to stay with him if i don’t mind. i do mind, now that neither the men i love nor the man i love have any use for me, but i don’t tell them that

[romanceyourdemons]

sixteenth day as a second century warlord i’m preparing to leave to i don’t know where, maybe to try to become a wizard for real, when my loser liege lord stops me and asks me where i’m going. he says he had hoped i would continue to work as his advisor. i was unaware i was his advisor in the first place. i agree, and he tells me he’s truly honored to have me in his service at last. he has known i am a rare and talented man with a strategic intelligence far above his ever since the day he witnessed me tying branches to my horses’ tails in six inches of mud, and could not for the life of him figure out why

[leebrontide]

I want to tell a story to the artists and would-be artists out there.

When I was 19, I made a large oil painting of the nerd I would eventually marry. I poured all my attention and care into this painting. It's the only art I have from back then that still holds up as a work I'm proud of today.

I entered it into a judged show at the local art center. It got an honorable mention. I went to see the show with my beloved model. One of the judges came up to talk to me, and highlighted that all the judges really liked the painting. It would have placed, except, you see, the feet were incorrect. They were too wide and short, and if I just studied a bit more anatomy-

I called over my future wife, and asked her to take off her shoe. Being already very used to humoring me, she did. The judge looked at her very short, very wide little foot. Exactly as I'd lovingly rendered it. I would never edit her appearance in any way.

The judge looked me in the eye, and to his credit, he really looked like he meant it when he said "Oh I'm so sorry."

Anyways the moral of the story is that all of those anatomy books that teach you proportions are either showing you averages, or a very specific idea of an idealized body. Actual bodies are much more varied than that.

So don't forget to draw from observation, and remember that humans aren't mass produced mannequins. Delight in our variation. Because it's supposed to be there.

[leebrontide]

Allright if 20,000 people are going to post a story about a painting I did of my wife, then I am going to post the painting itself.

For those calling for justice, the same painting won a contest at my college (my university professor had met my model), and the university bought it from me and hung it up there for over a decade, square little feet and all. Then, the library underwent renovations and a librarian I am thankful for forever went through heroic measures to track me down again even though I'd gotten married and changed my name, and offered it back to me. And now it hangs in our house even though my wife doesn't ordinarily want to look at paintings of herself and I don't normally want to look at paintings I made. We both have a soft spot for this one.

[demareth]

best update ty OP 🥺

[ibetitdoes]

not to enforce gender roles but a computer should NOT fucking have apps okay. if I wanted an app I'd go on my phone my laptop is for Programs. I mean this.

[mlembug]

bringing the ancient meme back

[cazort]

really glad to see hate for this concept.

count me among the haters. i've been a hater since i first encountered this conflation of many different well-defined concepts into one ill-defined one

it's part of the general trend of hiding the inner workings of computers from the user, which is something i hate since it tends to promote computer illiteracy which tends to promote incompetence and dysfunction in society as a whole

[hydrahowl]

its literally so so cruel that society looked at some of the most beautiful people on earth (fat people) and demanded that they completely destroy their body and self image and health and wallets just to conform to skinniness and most of the time it doesnt even work which makes the pressure even worse. if they dont conform they have to deal with every person on earth policing them and hostile architecture and doctors blaming everything on them being fat and ads drilling it in how undesirable their bodies are and how they have to be skinny. for the love of fucking god be kind to the fat people in your life

[astraltrickster]

Too many people are mad about Microsoft and Adobe's latest nanny functions being marketed as "AI!!!" more than about them being spyware on a level that would have gotten these things blacklisted as highly dangerous Trojans by every anti-malware program on the planet in 2005.

And these companies are depending on that.

They would much rather be able to write off everyone who doesn't want these "features" as technophobic old grumps and Chicken Littles reacting to a buzzword than have people actually broadly acknowledge the invasiveness of it all.

Once more, with feeling,

It's not "Microsoft and Adobe want to integrate AI features to spy on the things you do on your own devices,"

It's "Microsoft and Adobe want to integrate AI features to spy on the things you do on your own devices."

[daily-spooky]

[vbartilucci]

Well, he's not wrong.

[mysharona1987]

This is the dream, tho?

[pmd-stardust]

this is what fantasy scholars are irl

[daphrona]

Walked past a beloathed coworker that has been picking a fight with me vis a vis our lead as a middle man and he had tumblr open on his phone so Kevin if you're reading this I will start a war you will not win if you keep this shit up.

[daphrona]

You're allowed to reblog this to let Kevin know I'm not fucking around.