Soul Bites Optima

A Future Cult Leader Blogs

[soulbitesoptima]

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 10 (Martin Luther Gets Morbid)

“We are not yet what we shall be, but are growing toward it, the process is not yet finished...” -Martin Luther

Is “what we shall be” dead? I feel like it’s dead. 

-M.

PS Nice work with the ellipsis there. Process... Incomplete... Well played.

[soulbitesoptima]

Coffee with the Pope

I dreamed I was having coffee with the Pope. The walls of the room were red, the light coming from an unseen bank of windows was bright and misty. We drank oil-black espresso from tiny, delicate white cups.

I was in the midst of saying to him, “If only people knew how valuable they are.

“I keep trying to think of an analogy with Earthly things and I can’t. Gold, Lalique, graceful Lladro figurines, fine antiques, all the best and rarest gems... You can always have too much of these. At some point you become saturated and get bored. But it is not so with the gods and us. They can never have enough of us. The troves of their hearts are never too full. They are rich in us and only want to get richer. They can never love us too much.”

He sipped and nodded, quietly.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

A) All the hands in this picture are permanently open.

B) That dude sitting in the hand? That ain’t Rumi.

Try again, Daily Calm. Try again.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

I Write Theology. Why?

I write theology. That’s what I do.

The question of “why” has been weighing on me.

Let's left-brain the hell out of this, shall we?

Why?

Because I want to understand.

The first thing that came to mind actually was that I want to “solve it,” but that’s silly. It’s not a mystery. The thing works how it works and works in perfect order. It’s not like the gods are all up there pondering over some hideous knot it’s mine to untie or slice through. They KNOW how this works. It’s mine to understand it.

Not solve.

Understand.

Why do I want to understand it?

Why do I love white cake with white frosting?

It’s yummy. To my palate, it’s the yummiest.

To my intellectual palate, theology is the yummiest. (Mmmm... God Cake.)

Why write it down?

Because my mind isn’t quite water tight enough to keep all this amorphous information in and every ounce accounted for.

Because language is a great organizing power. There is magic in the act of writing that does not happen when turning the questions over in the mind alone. All sorts of happy accidents occur. Your fingers take off for themselves sometimes and, before you know it, you find you have written proof that you knew all kinds of things you never knew you knew.

I also write because I enjoy it and because, last sentence notwithstanding, I’m pretty good at it.

Why share what I write?

Insert something here about how bouncing ideas off of other intellectually active and similarly-interested parties is exhilarating and builds a great sense of community. Add to that something else about how, in passing along the understanding that gives me peace in a sense that all things are in order, I am possibly inspiring my readers to a similar sense of peace which is the bedrock of joy. In there too is a thing about how I want to strengthen my readers’ faiths and bring them closer to their gods. Finally, mix that together with a fourth something about a mystical sense of being called to this work, and there you have it:

The long, long, longhand version of a very simple answer to the question of why I share what I write.

Vanity.

Amen.

Thank you for your readership. Thank you for your spiritual and intellectual engagement. Most of all, thank you for your generous indulgence.

-M.

PS I know it's not exactly proper to say, "I write theology," but, for the life of me, I can't figure out a satisfying way to communicate that sentiment without sounding at least a little like an idiot and maybe more than a little pretentious. "I write ON theology." "I write ABOUT theology." (Prepositions are hard.) "I am a theologian." "Theology writes me."

See what I mean? T.U.F.F.

[soulbitesoptima]

My All-Time Favorite Story about My All-Time Favorite Dr. and My All-Time Favorite Metaphysical Book

Imagine this doctor of mine, both psychiatrist and neurologist (second MD just for fun I guess), neat as a pin, fashionably and impeccably dressed, kind, speaks barely above a whisper, and S.E.X.X.Y. like nobody’s business!

He saw me reading in the waiting room one day and, once in his office, he asked me what the book was.

“The Doors of Perception,” I told him.

“Oh,” he said, excitedly. (Figures a psychiatrist would know the book.) “That’s by Aldous Huxley—the one who wrote 1984.”

I just let that one fly by, felt it ruffle my hair as it passed, smiled and said, “Uh-huh.” Because, I mean, how do you correct Double Dr. Sexy without sounding like a complete jerk? Also, he has the good drugs so... 1984 it is! (Brave New World really, but, you know... same thing.)

He continued: “That’s about his experimentation with LSD.” His face fell. He leaned in close and, raising his eyebrows he questioned slowly and emphatically, “You’re not DOING that are you?”

My favorite moment with any doctor ever. I damn near fell out of my tree laughing.

No, Double Dr. S.E.X.X.Y. No. I am not doing the LSD.

But at least I now know how to gently announce my new addiction to psychedelics when the time comes, so... good day all around.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 8 (Floral Haiku)

It’s cold today, wet,  And the middle of winter.  Flowers are stupid.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

A Polytheist Posts on Christmas Something Feel-God About Spiritual Divorce

As a child of divorce, I had two of every holiday: two birthdays, two Thanksgivings, two Christmases... That’s sort of what being a current Polytheist, benevolent ex-Christian is like. I’ll happily sing the Jesus songs and make a joyful noise about it, but I’ve also got my eyes peeled for nature spirits darting in and out of the branches of the Christmas tree—dryads playing chase-me!, chase-me! amidst the heraldic angels and holy dove ornaments.

Merry Christmas to my Christian and Pagan friends and family both. If you enjoy this day half as much as your god or gods enjoy you, you’re doing damn good.

-M.

PS Honestly, my drawing is my favorite part of this whole thing. Check out those true-to-life dryads! The detail is just astounding!

[soulbitesoptima]

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 7 (Life)

Now “O bla di, o bla da” is hopelessly stuck in my head for the rest of all eternity. Thanks for that, Bob.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Seems like a better way to accidentally set things on fire than anything else.

[soulbitesoptima]

“What Did the Three Wise Men Do?” An Exercise in Arrogance

I DESPISE those segments comedians do where they set out to make us all look like idiots by interviewing people on the street then editing the clip down to those few who came up with the wrong/silly answers. It’s arrogant and obnoxious.

One year, with the implication that this country is going to hell because everyone (except you, most gifted and brilliant viewer), has forgotten what Christmas is all about, Bill O’Reilly ran a Watters’ World where that jackass asked people questions about the Christmas story which, of course, they mostly tanked.

In the grand finale, he asked a woman what the Three Wise Men did. What did they do that they were considered wise?

She answered, “I think they were astrologers.”

And oh the hooting and hollering from O’Reilly and friend. Stupid lady! Astrology! Of all the flaky nonsense in all the land. Astrology! Ha!

But there’s a problem:

The Three Wise Men WERE astrologers! They were astronomers as well and philosophers and many other things, but they were most certainly astrologers. They were looking for the appearance of a new star in the heavens as a sign of a prophecy fulfilled, for gods’ sakes. You couldn’t possibly get more astrologer than that.

Let me compose myself.

Ahem.

Point being: That’s why we don’t set out to make other people look stupid. Inevitably, we make ourselves look stupidest of all.

This fool setting out in the name of preserving the sanctity of Christmas to publicly mock his fellow man and prove them ignorant? I’m sure Jesus was thrilled with every little bit of that. Every. Little. Bit.

Be good to each other this holiday season and all seasons to come. Remember, compared to god(s), we’re ALL idiots...

And yet still we are loved.

Merry Christmas

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 6 (Change)

All change is a miracle to contemplate, but it is a miracle which is taking place very instant.” -Henry David Thoreau

Henry David Thoreau is a pretentious, hypocritical twit. That’s a fact completely regardless of whether or not I woke up grumpy and hung over this morning.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Abundant Depression

Came across the phrase “abundant depression” yesterday and thought, man, I need to start slapping some qualifiers on my law of attraction affirmations.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Spiritual Extortion—By Any Other Name

I recently asked Dr. Internet whether a certain major religion required its members to tithe. The website I found declared stridently that while it encouraged its members to tithe, the church did not require it as that would be extortion, (shot at Mormons? Scientologist? All of the above and then some?).

And I thought...

Wait a minute.

It’s ALL extortion. If your god or gods withhold goodies until you do this or that, that’s extortion. It may be behavioral/spiritual extortion, but it’s still extortion. Your scruples may draw the line at money, but let’s be honest with ourselves, shall we?

-M.

PS (All of this to say that my cult REQUIRES you to tithe. Cookies and juice will be withheld until the man-at-arms gets through shaking you down for loose change. I am un-conflicted on the matter and I do so love that jingling sound.)

[soulbitesoptima]

Polytheist Outline for Spiritual Success

I. DO NOT PISS OFF YOUR GODS A. How to? 1. Don't be an arrogant idiot. 2. See 1. 3. Pray and stuff.

-M. 

[soulbitesoptima]

Doing the Daily Calm: Day 5 (More Sharks!)

One doesn't discover new lands without consenting to lose sight of the shore for a very long time." -Andre Gide

That's also how you end up thirsting to death, dying of exposure, or getting eaten by sharks.

-M.

[soulbitesoptima]

Smoke Gets in My Eyes

Because a busy Pagan’s office just isn’t THIS busy Pagan’s office until it smells like the Three Wise Men have been here... which is a little weird for a Pagan when you think about it. Oh well. Paganism. Incense. Offerings. Yay!

-M.

PS Excessive fingerprint streaks on an iPad screen are a sign of love and respect for Hermes which is totally why my screen looks like that. Just so you know.

[soulbitesoptima]

Happy Winter Solstice 2019

Happy Winter Solstice everyone! This pictures is from that one year I tried to be all proper Hellenismos and do the nine day Heliogenna thing. I think I made it to day... four? Good thing the sun himself is not the big old derelict I am.

-M.