i got tired of my old title

call me soulless. pronouns are whatever, bi, blog is occasionally nsfw-adjacent, if that matters to you. I like to talk

[summers1de]

went to chicago last week

[childofgears]

My favorite tumblr post:

My favorite tweet:

My favorite Reddit post:

[scoutsmoocrew]

What if a lactating person is locked in a room with a dog indefinitely? Should they let the dog starve?

Who are you people?!

[slut-jpeg]

snoopy image of the day

[efeceojota]

[threedollarsdotcom]

can you please sheathe your sword at the fucking dinner table

[patchesjam]

funniest art interaction i’ve ever seen

[kilometresinatree]

the thrilling sequel

[transmechanicus]

Dredge teaches you important lessons such as “Fish goes bad quickly at room temperature” and “If you don’t get a good night’s rest the phantom shark will get you”

[bunniope]

my phone got picked up by an eagle a few weeks ago and all of my posts since then have been a beautiful golden eagle accidentally tapping the screen with her perfect talons. including this one

[my-t4t-romance]

just mixed a fountain drink cocktail of 50/50 seagram's ginger ale & sprite and it tastes & smells exactly like dish soap

[my-t4t-romance]

not that I know what the forbidden blue candy sauce tastes like

[cykelops]

more comic characters should haunt their writers like how everyone who’s written John Constantine keeps meeting him in dark alleys

[rootbeerrex]

What The Actual Fuck

[shittymoviedetails]

Kevin is the real villian in Home Alone

[orgyporgy]

The movie establishes that the phone lines to the house are down, that’s also why nobody is able to call Kevin at home. The movie also establishes that all of his neighbors are out of town which is why he couldn’t borrow their phones. The movie ALSO BEGINS by introducing the main antagonist as a “police officer” which is why Kevin doesn’t trust the cops. I’m so tired of the ignorance. The slander.

[foxyclock]

FINALLY we’ve reached the time of year for home alone discourse

[hypokeimena]

#he did what he needed to do to survive. then he did a bunch of other stuff he felt like doing (via @hotcrossedfangs) 

[christopher-bryant]

home alone is just die hard for kids

[godsperm]

He also stole that toothbrush so was even more scared to call the police in case they arrest him for theft too

[syntactition]

Kevin knew that ACAB ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[violetwolfraven]

Keep in mind that the robbers could have turned around and left at any time. Kevin set up the traps, but they didn’t have to walk into them. They could’ve left and robbed an easier house, but didn’t because they wanted to get the 8-year-old who was beating their asses. At some point, it stopped being about stealing the McCallisters’ stuff and started being about killing Kevin, at which point Kevin was justified in doing whatever the hell he wanted to them.

[magic-owl]

Skdhsjdhsk okay Home Alone discourse? xD I recognize this is a joke but I’m jumping into the shark pit regardless because I just love this movie and wanna talk about it so HERE GOES

Lol so yeah actually the phone line argument is a bit confusing because yeah the phones are down at first, but they obviously were fixed at some point since his family tried to call him from the airport in Paris or later on he wouldn’t be able to order pizzas or call the cops from his house at the end of the whole attempted robbery night, so there IS the question of why Kevin’s family doesn’t keep trying to call him daily.

HOWEVER, as people have already mentioned, Kevin thinks he’s a criminal due to stealing a toothbrush and has already been chased by a cop, he’s not gonna contact the police about the robbers.

Calling the police about his family leaving him? He’s not gonna do that because he doesn’t KNOW they’re in Paris, Kevin believes he magically wished his family out of existence the night before they left after they were all right dicks to him. He doesn’t know they have the power to come back, that’s why he asks Santa to return them later on, what use is telling the cops who (in his eyes) will probably blame him for it?

Also ppl be criticizing him for the booby traps like this isn’t the THIRD time Kevin’s had to chase these guys off his property? First he tried to fake a house party, they still came back, he tried to fake a MURDER, they spied on him and declared they were coming back again. Kevin’s given them two nonviolent chances to leave his house alone, they’re the grown men deciding they’re gonna come back and rob a house they KNOW has an eight year old in it. They announce their presence by knocking and taunting that they know he’s alone and “helpless” in there and that they’re coming in anyway, what their original plans for dealing with him were, we don’t know. After they spring his first traps, their plan switches from robbing the house to specifically harming Kevin in revenge.

These guys are trespassing on Kevin’s property AGAIN after multiple warnings, and they’ve announced themselves with a declaration of intent to harm him, he can’t call the police or they’ll discover he vanished his family and committed toothbrush crimes, Kevin needed to defend himself and he had FULL RIGHT to do so however he saw fit (which all proved entirely necessary seeing as literally nothing he threw at these men actually stopped them from trying to hurt him, they kept coming until his neighbor saved him)

Respect Kevin 2kforever 😤😤😤

[etriva]

from The Memory Palace, by Nate DiMeo

[skulandcrossbones]

it's so wild to me that you absolutely cannot force a hyperfixation to happen. like you'll watch the most perfectly tailor-made-for-you content that everyone says you'll love and feel absolutely nothing, and then the thing you watch on a whim to fill time will reach through the screen and put its damn fingers in your brain and start rearranging the neurons right in front of you and every single time you're like THIS??? THIS??????? and this happens like every 6-12 months forever

[hawkpartys]

there is currently a vagrant fig-obsessed ancap/libertarian on the iNaturalist forums and everyone is having way too much fun dunking on him its great

[hawkpartys]

like i can't convey how unbelievably batshit this guy is. read for yourselves but here are some highlights

[wrens-roost]

guy who's literally arguing for "tyranny of the minority"

[empidonax]

I think my favorite part is "the amount of epiphyte knowledge in my head could easily fill an entire library. I'm not saying this to brag."

Truly wild and insane discussion (if you can really call it that) going on in there. Highly recommend reading some of the screenshots above LMAO

[hawkpartys]

My favorite part of that statement is that he didn't know what a taxonomic category was and was very angry people pointed this out

[onlytiktoks]

[kienava]

[spookihope]

you know when you’re eating a sandwich and you go to take a bite and like a huge chunk of your favorite part just slips out (like say your eating a blt and you accidentally pull out a whole piece of bacon) and you’re torn because on the one hand that bite is going to be the best bite ever but on the other hand the rest of your sandwich just lost a valuable team player 3 minutes into the game and no one’s sure how it’s going to be able to cover that loss.

[spookihope]

who knew my most popular text post of the year would be about eating a sandwich