summary: You haven't fed in a while, and Renjun's not afraid to engage in some research...
tags: renjun x fem!reader, human!renjun x vampire!reader | smut! (unprotected piv, oral sex (fem!receiving), big dick renjun hahaha, renjun gets turned on by being bitten basically), sucking blood, needy/whiny renjun
a/n: i was supposed to upload this at halloween...
He’s been staring at the same empty page of his research paper for, like, an hour now. Earlier, words flowed easily, now it seems like his native language has packed its bags and moved out.
And to think, this one isn’t even for class.
It’s for fun. Well… his version of fun.
It’s about vampires.
Renjun has always had what he insists is not an obsession, but rather, a fascination with vampires. It started when he was five, camping with his parents. They had just finished watching The Lost Boys the week before. At the campsite, in the dead of night, he glimpsed something in the woods: a flash of red eyes, a glint of fangs. He’d ran back to the tent and burrowed into his sleeping bag, terrified but electric with adrenaline. From that night on, he just knew they were real. And he wanted to know everything.
So he did. He devoured books upon books about vampires—fiction, nonfiction, romance, sci-fi, thrillers. If there was even a hint of vampirism, it ended up on his shelf. Movies are no exception. He’s probably seen the entire Twilight saga fifty times. He dressed as a vampire eight Halloweens in a row.
His therapist often refers to it as a “special interest”. He just thinks they’re cool.
He has an annatural amount of vampire lore catalogued in his brain.
And lately, he’s starting to suspect that you might actually be one.
You’re across from him at the kitchen table, the blue glow from your laptop soft against your face. It’s late, which is not unusual for you. You’re a night owl who’s usually wide awake long past midnight. Half the time Renjun wakes up to calls from you at 3 a.m., rambling about everything and nothing until he falls asleep mid-conversation.
But tonight, you’re struggling. Your chin keeps slipping into your palm, and the screen before you has dimmed from inactivity. You look…not just tired. Drained. Empty.
Renjun’s never seen you like this before.
“I think you should go home,” he says finally.
You blink, sluggish, lifting your head. “What?”
Renjun leans back and studies you—the washed out color of your skin, the heavy bags under your eyes. “You look exhausted. You should go to sleep.”
“Nah, I’m fine,” you insist, forcing a smile that looks more like a grimace. Your hands tremble before you shove them beneath the table, hoping he doesn’t notice.
He notices anyway. Something in his gut tightens.
“You’re not fine,” he says, softer now. He leans forward, elbows on the table, studying your face the way he studies his vampire novels. “You’re shaking.”
“I’m—“ you start, but the word tires halfway out. Your throat feels like sandpaper. You can’t seem to focus on the religion assignment waiting for you, all you can hear is the slow, steady rush of blood in his veins. It’s deafening. You swallow hard.
Renjun’s brow furrows. “Hey.” His voice cuts through the haze. “You okay?”
You force yourself to nod. “Just…lightheaded. Forgot to eat.” It’s true, in a way. Just not the kind of food he thinks.
Renjun gathers his papers, preparing to pack up for the night and send you home. His thumb catches on a page of notes, a paper cut shallowly slicing through the skin. Bright red blood wells at the cut, and he sighs, glancing at you in resigned silence.
But what he doesn’t expect is for your eyes to flash red as your gaze hones in on the fresh blood. Your lips part, and fangs extend from your canines to graze your lower lip.
Renjun gasps and goes still.
You clamp your mouth shut.
For achingly long moment, no one moves. No one speaks.
His first thought is: Holy shit, she is a vampire.
His second: She’s starving.
He says your name carefully, like if he says it too loud you’ll bolt. “How long has it been since you had blood?”
Your eyes widen, heart stuttering. “What are you talking about—“
“Don’t bullshit me. How long,” he presses, his voice steady but quiet. Almost gentle.
You break, gaze dropping to your lap. “A while,” you whisper. “I’m fine, I just— I’ll go. I don’t want—“
“You’re not fine.” He swallows, throat bobbing. “Do it.”
You blink at him. “What?”
“Feed on me,” he says, and though his pulse is skittering, his tone stays even. “I know enough. If you do it right, it won’t…hurt me. Or turn me. I know that.”
“You know that?” You echo, half horrified, half…touched?
He huffs a small, nervous laugh. “I would’ve majored in vampire studies if it were a real thing. Of course I know that.”
You make a weak sound that might be a laugh, and that’s enough to keep him moving. He pushes back his chair and stands before he can lose his nerve. “Come on. Couch. You’re going to pass out if you try to get home like this.”
“Renjun…” you warn, still unsure.
“Hey,” he says, hand resting on your shoulder. “I’m worried about you, that’s all.”
The truth in his voice makes the insecurity in you fall quiet, but awakens the thirst simmering beneath the surface.
“…Okay.”
You follow him to the couch. It’s soft and sunken from years of study sessions and movie marathons. He sits first, then hesitates, awkward. “Do you need me sitting or—?”
“Lying down is easier because you might feel faint,” you murmur. “I don’t want you collapsing and hurting yourself. But it creates a kind of awkward position so…”
“It’s fine.” His answer comes out rougher than intended.
He exhales and lowers himself back against the cushions.
His heart is hammering so loudly he wonders if you can hear it, and then smacks himself mentally for even asking. Of course you can—vampire.
You hover above him before shifting closer, knees pressing against his thigh as you kneel beside him on the couch. From this close he can feel the warmth of your body, smell the faint metallic edge of your hunger in the air.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” you ask. Your breathing is unsteady, chest rising and falling right in front of him. Your eyes have gone dark and glassy, a faint glint of red sparking in the lamplight. The sharp points of your fangs press into your lip. Renjun’s mind, unhelpfully, wonders how they’d feel against his tongue, what it would be like to taste that sharpness.
“Yeah,” he croaks.
Your hunger stirs at the sound, but you still hesistate. It undoes him a little.
Renjun slides lower against the cushions and tilts his head to expose his long, pale neck you’ve always thought was so pretty, the muscles shifting with his movement. “C’mon,” he murmurs. “You won’t kill me.”
Your mouth waters, pupils blowing wide at the metallic scent of his blood flowing through his veins, at the fluttering of his pulse.
Your fangs lengthen, and Renjun’s lips part in awe.
“Okay,” you say softly. “It’s going to hurt at first, but then it should start to feel…good. If you feel faint or lose feeling in your hands, tell me. Once i start, it’s hard to stop.”
Something about that last warning sends a hot ripple low in his stomach. He swallows. “Okay. I’m ready.”
Your hands slide to his chest for balance—light, but he can feel the tremor in your fingers. And then you lean in, searching for the perfect spot.
You breath is warm against his skin, and goosebumps erupt across his body.
And then your teeth break skin.
Renjun gasps, breath hissing between his teeth. A sting, sharp and immediate is followed by a spreading ache. His fingers fist the couch cushions.
Then you drink.
The pull is strange and electric — a tug that sends warmth racing from his throat to every nerve ending. Pain blurs into a heady rush that’s practically pleasure. A dizzy heat pools low and heavy while his pulse hammers against your mouth. He has to breathe carefully to stay grounded, eyes fluttering shut against the flood of sensation.
He can feel you fighting for control even as you feed, and somehow, that’s what makes it harder to think.
A soft moan tumbles out of him before he can stop it.
His dick twitches in his pants.
Then it should start to feel good.
Surely you didn’t mean it would feel like this? Like his sole purpose is to be a blood bank for you.
Soft, painted noises laced with pleasure fall from his lips as you continue to suck the blood from him, your hand on his chest to keep you steady.
His eyes flutter open to watch the color return to you, high in your cheeks. Your eyes, dull and shadowed moments ago, flare with light. Your lips part around his throat, flushed and slick, your breath trembling against his skin.
You look alive again, dangerous and breathtaking all at once.
You’re beautiful.
His pulse jumps against your mouth at the realization, the heat between his legs vicious and persistent.
Your tongue brushes against his throat, hot and velvety and fuck he’s going crazy.
He wills himself not to get hard as you feast on him, but it’s no use. Blood somehow rushes to both his throat and his dick.
He snakes a hand down to palm himself through his jeans. Something he’d never do in front of you in any circumstance (besides in his fantasies). It’s as if someone else is controlling him.
Someone much more horny, and desperate to get off.
“Hhohh fuck—“ Renjun groans, mind swimming. His surroundings waver, all he can focus on is the feeling of your mouth on him, of the pleasure and warmth seeping deep in his veins, thickening his cock and begging for release.
You haven’t seemed to notice, drunk on his blood. Faint, satisfied moans vibrate against his neck where you feast, and it only drives him crazier.
His fingers fumble as he undoes the button on his jeans and tugs the zipper down, his muddled mind slowing his movements.
He goes to free himself when his vision closes in from the outside.
If you feel faint, tell me.
He reluctantly pushes at your shoulder, a half hearted stop tumbling from his lips.
You don’t move at first, still sucking him dry. He almost wants to let you keep going, just to keep feeling this good. But he knows he can’t—knows you wouldn’t want that, either. So he pushes harder.
You blink, surroundings reappearing, the soft texture of Renjun’s shirt against the hard planes of his chest beneath your fingers. The cushion of the couch beneath your knees. The smooth skin of his throat at your lips.
Your fangs slowly retreat, and you release him, your tongue hot on his skin as you lick the blood on his throat clean, almost apologetically.
Renjun’s cock strains in his jeans, a flush high in his cheeks. He drops his head back against the couch, eyes closed as he sucks in deep, steadying breaths. He feels lightheaded from more than just the blood loss.
“You got a little excited, didn’t you?” Your voice startles him out of his haze, and his eyes crack open to see yours trained on his painfully hard cock restrained by his boxers. A smirk quirks your wicked lips.
Alarm bells blare in his skull through the lustful haze. He sits up, fumbling for the zipper on his jeans. “Fuck—I’m sorry—“
Hot shame floods through him, but your hand lands on his, stilling his movements. Renjun stiffens, gaze flicking to yours. The heat of your palm is just an inch away from his cock, and he hates how his hips twitch at that.
“Don’t apologize,” you purr, voice deep and velvety all of a sudden, nothing like the weak whisper from before.
Renjun swallows hard. The sluggishness that had weighed you down minutes ago is gone, replaced by something alive and deliberate. Your shoulders square, and confidence radiates off you in slow, simmering waves.
You trail one hand from his chest to his collarbone, fingers light but sure, tracing the edge of his shirt before resting there like you’ve claimed the space. Your gaze catches his—dark, glinting with that faint red—and you hold it.
“No one I’ve fed on has ever gotten turned on like this.”
His face burns hotter. “I thought you said it was supposed to feel good,” he mutters, staring down at his hand beneath yours.
“Yeah but not this good,” you say, squeezing his hand and pushing it down, generating friction against his clothed cock. He whimpers, lashes fluttering.
He misses the way your eyes flash at the sound.
“So all that obsession with vampires led you to wanting to fuck one, hm?” you murmur, lips curving into a small, knowing smile. It’s not cocky, but it’s undenaibly self assured, a predator remembering it’s strength.
Renjun’s breath stutters. He can’t decide if its fear or fascination coiling tight within him. Probably both.
It’s not like Renjun has never considered sex with a vampire. He has… a lot. Mostly with you, the person he has speculated being one for so long.
When alone, he’d imagine what it would feel like for you to bite him as you ride him, the heat of your mouth on his throat, the pain from your fangs sinking into his skin, your hot, tight, and slick pussy taking him with every desperate roll of your hips.
Or those pretty lips wrapped around his cock, adrenaline racing through him as you suck him off, careful not to let your fangs pierce or graze him—the risk of it all.
One too many used tissues have thoughts of you all over them.
He shrugs, too ashamed to reveal what he really wants, but you’re determined to get him to crack.
“Junnie,” you whisper, moving his hand to palm his cock yourself. A shudder rattles through him, and he can’t help but lightly grind his hips into your hand. Your voice is like an encantation: hypnotic, mesmerizing, pulling him in—your eyes a deep well he can’t help but fall into. “Do you want to fuck me?”
“W-what?” His pulse pounds behind his ears, jaw dropping in shock.
Your thumb skates over his bottom lip. “I’ve seen the way you look at me. You want me, don’t you, Renjun?”
He hesitates. He wants you so bad, wants to experience sex with a vampire—sex with you. But…it’s you. One of his best friends. He doesn’t want to ruin that.
You lean in, breath ghosting over his lips. He lists forward instinctively, aching to bridge the gap.
“I’m giving you the research opportunity of a lifetime,” you whisper, lips brushing his.
It hits him like a spark: the part of him that’s curious to his own detriment, the unfinished paper still glowing on his laptop, the need to know. You’re a magnet, pulling him past fear, past reason.
He shudders, surrendering before he can stop himself. “Please,” he breathes. “Yes, please. I want you.”
Your smile is slow and razor-sharp, sending a shiver down his spine. Your sweet disposition laced with something dark and dangerous. Renjun realizes he’s never wanted you more.
And then finally you’re kissing him, hands on either side of his face, guiding him where you want him. Renjun follows the flow. His hands find your hips, urging you to grind against him in dizzying waves.
Your fangs graze his bottom lip, and he groans, licking into your mouth.
He catalogues every sensation, tastes the faint copper of his own blood still on your lips. It’s warm and dizzing all at once: the echo of danger, the trust that let him bare his throat to you, the raw pull between you neither of you can write off anymore.
Your hands skirt beneath the hem of his t-shirt, running over his toned stomach reverently before sliding over his pecs, your thumbs brushing his nipples. He shivers, tugs you closer, harder onto him.
You pepper kisses along his jaw, his throat, sucking dark marks into his skin, your fangs just barely poking through skin when you bite him. Renjun enjoys what little pain it gives him, delights in the small punishments you’re delivering.
You pull away suddenly to strip your jeans and panties. Renjun watches with rapt attention, hardly believing that this is his reality. It’s become less about having sex with a vampire, and more about having you. Watching you undress like this… He never wants to wake from this dream.
You get to work on his jeans and boxers, tugging them down just enough to reveal his cock, precum beading at the tip. Your mouth waters. He tries not to hide his face beneath his hand.
“You’re bigger than I thought you’d be,” you remark quietly, giving him a light pump.
The compliment sends proud warmth flooding through his chest, and he hides his smile with a pout of his lips and an annoyed huff of air to avoid falling apart at your small touch. “Just cuz I’m small doesn’t mean everything is small.”
You laugh, and pat his cheek. “Congratulations.”
He rolls his eyes, but pulls you in for another languid kiss that leaves his mind swimming when you pull away.
He sits back, stunned as you swing your leg over to straddle him. He short-circuits at the sight of your bare, wet pussy so close.
“Wait—can I… I wanna,” he mumbles incoherently and trails off, licking his lips.
“Use your words,” you tease, fingers sliding down to dive between your folds, gathering slick to rub gentle circles over your clit. Renjun can only stare, fingers twitching at his sides, mouth dropping open.
“I won’t let you touch me until you tell me what you want,” you command.
Determination hardens in his eyes, contrasting with the burning of his ears. He grips your thighs tightly. “I want to eat you out.”
You smirk. “Good boy.”
Renjun moves immediately, lifting you off of him. He drops to his knees on the floor, and tugs you to the edge of the couch, spreading your legs wide.
He’s somehow impossibly cute like this. His big, brown eyes staring up at you, waiting for permission. His plump lips parted, just begging to devour you.
You look regal above him like this. Your stare dark and frightening. He wants to be beneath you forever.
Your hand snakes behind his neck, fingers threading through his fluffy brown hair. “Go on,” you murmur. “Take what you want.”
He does.
He grips your thighs and moves in to press a kiss to your clit, delighting in the way you flinch the moment his mouth is on you.
And then he licks his tongue through your folds, groaning in pleasure at the taste. Your thighs clench around his head, something he’s realizing he likes.
A lot.
His hips rut against the couch as he devours you, thrusting his tongue inside you before sucking on your clit. You writhe above him, head thrown back against the cushions, your hand tangling in his hair.
He moans into you when you tug particularly hard, your cunt grinding against his nose, mouth, and chin.
“Fuck, Renjun,” you whine when he sinks two fingers inside you, pumping easily through the mess between your thighs.
His nose bumps your clit and you shudder harshly, cunt clenching deliciously around his fingers. You’re close, he can tell, and he smiles against you.
He pumps faster, sucks harder, and then you’re falling apart in his mouth, fingers tightening in his hair so much he fears you might pull some out. But then you collapse boneless against the couch, and he rises from his spot on the floor, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.
“Was I good?” He asks, though a smirk sits proudly on his face. He knows he did good. You’re looking up at him through hooded eyes, breasts heaving with the effort of catching your breath.
“Don’t ask stupid questions,” you huff, pulling at his white tee.
He gets the hint and tugs it off, and his jeans and boxers while he’s at it.
You grab his wrist, pulling him in, and push him down on the couch, settling over him, thighs bracketing his hips.
His mind blanks when you grab his cock, sliding it through your folds, and lean down to capture his lips again.
And then you guide his cock into you and sink down, slowly, tortuously. He groans, brows screwing in pleasure as he watches himself fill you, your cheeks flushed and eyes rolling back. You’re so warm, so tight around him it makes his brain short circuit, his hands clutching your hips for dear life as your warmth engulfs him.
He can’t help the way his hips twitch up into you, fucking himself further inside you as you adjust to his length.
He feels you shudder, watches your eyelashes brush your cheek as you close your eyes, lip caught between your teeth. You look like a damn goddess.
“God, you’re so big, Junnie.”
His cock pulses at the praise, and he can see it in your face when you feel it. It only makes it harder for him to hold back.
When he’s fully sheathed inside you, you start the tortuous roll of your hips, lifting and falling back down with strong thighs.
“Fuck, you feel so good,” he moans, blood running hot in his veins. He rolls his hips, thrusting deep into you just as you sink back down, and you cry out, nails scratching against his chest.
He doesn’t mind. Actually likes it when you mark him up like this.
“B-bite me,” Renjun says, the words cracking on a moan when you roll your hips a certain way.
“What?” You stall your movements.
He whines pathetically. “Don’t stop.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” you say between breaths.
That’s the problem. He wants you to hurt him. Wants to give up control and let you take from him what you need.
“I don’t care,” he says, grabbing the back of your neck and pulling you down to his throat. “Please.”
You hesitate for a moment, but then Renjun whimpers at your ear as he thrusts up into you, jostling you forward, your lips pressing firmly against his throat.
And he feels that sweet, sharp sting again, and his cock swells inside you, his head falling back against the arm of the couch.
“Fuck!” He moans, that ache intensifying into pleasure that feels ten times stronger than before with you tightening around his cock like this. “Yes, fuck yes.”
You moan against his throat, tongue laving along his skin and he bucks wildly into you.
“I’m close, baby,” he whines, and you clench harder around him, flooding him with euphoria through your fangs and pussy. “You’re so perfect. So good. So—“
His vision whites out, his hips stuttering as he comes, his one hand gripping your ass, the other tangling in your hair.
You ride him through it, your clit brushing against the hard planes of his pelvis, and soon you’re coming around him from the friction, fangs retracting so you can throw your head back on a silent scream.
You collapse on top of him, and he can’t help himself—he presses a kiss to your hair, and wraps his arms around you, though he feels weak.
Blood trails down his throat, pools in the hollow space between his collarbones, and heat stirs his cock when you drag your tongue along the crimson line, licking him clean.
“That was fun,” you pant, cheeks flushed and eyes bright.
Renjun can only garble out some nonsense, and you laugh, stroking his hair back from his forehead with delicate fingers. He practically purrs, eyes falling shut when your nails brush his scalp.
“Feeling better?” He asks at last, peeking an eye open. He kneads the flesh of your thigh with his hand, appreciating how soft you are. How pretty you look.
“Much better, thank you, Junnie.”
He sighs, melting into the couch. “Now I’m tired.”
“Yeah, you lost a lot of blood. Let’s get you some water and food, hm?”
“Maybe later, wanna sleep now,” he mumbles, wrapping his arms around your waist and pulling you down onto his chest. You smile against his skin.
ty for requesting :D — you and steve find a way to pass the time during a crawl mission (enemies to lovers, established relationship, smut 18+, slight part two to this fic | 2k)
Hopper goes AWOL on Crawl #12. It’s both a blessing and a curse.
A curse, because it means spending the late night crammed in the confines of the WSQK van until the Chief makes his ascent and Joyce gives the all clear. And a blessing, because it means Steve gets to spend the late night crammed in the WSQK van with you.
He thinks he’s much more affected by the proximity than you are.
You haven’t yet strayed from your post at the very back of the van since Steve parked it, idling somewhere in a forgotten field at the far edge of town. You slouch in the stool with the bulky headphones over your ears and with your hand on the wheel above your head, searching for a signal that hasn’t yet come.
You get so focused on the work that Steve thinks you’ve forgotten his presence entirely — the notion hurts him as much as it excites him. He lives and dies to be noticed by you.
“Did Joyce say anything?” you wonder aloud, still half distracted, when Steve returns to the back of the van after radioing in.
“Not really…” he huffs. “Except that it’s looking like a long night…”
“We’ve already been out here for hours,” you grumble.
“Trust me. I know…” he says, grunting as he descends to the carpeted floor just behind you. He slouches against the tin wall with his knees bent and slightly spread, pushing the sleeves of his knit sweater up to his elbows. He grimaces at the dull pang at the base of his spine. “I’m pretty sure I can feel the past three hours in my back…”
“I don’t get it…” you mumble. “It’s never taken him this long before.”
“Maybe he found something,” Steve shrugs, crossing his arms over his knees.
“Yeah, or maybe he’s lost—”
“He told Joyce he knew what he was doing. So all we have to do now is wait,” Steve interjects to quell your palpable worrying when it swells within the lamplight van. His plush lips curl into a soft pink smirk when he nudges the leg of your desk chair with a worn white sneaker. “And maybe find something to do to pass the time…”
You glare at him over your shoulder, with an annoyed arch to your brow and a curious glint in your eye. “Like what?” you deadpan.
“I don’t know…” Steve lilts with a lazy shrug. “Wanna play truth or dare?”
“Truth or dare?” you squint. “I’m not one of your high school girlfriends, Harrington.”
“Yeah. They weren’t half as in love with me as you are.”
You scoff an emotionless laugh and turn away, if only to hide your smile from him when he rises from his spot behind you.
You’re blanketed instantly in the scent of musky cologne when he kneels at your side, propping one arm along the back of your chair and extending the other towards the desk beside you. He rests his chin in the curve of your neck. You flinch softly when his scruff scratches at the exposed skin there.
“Whatever strokes your ego…” you deadpan.
His lips curl into a smirk against the shell of your ear. The tip of his broad nose brushes your jaw. His chin bobs against your shoulder when he quips, “I know something else you can stroke— Ow!”
Steve winces when your elbow digs into his ribcage. He cradles the right side of his torso with his left hand and grimaces when he flops back onto the carpeted floor.
You shake your head and make no move to comfort him. “You’re such a perv…”
“You love me, though,” he hums with an audible smile in his voice.
You roll your eyes and spin in your swivel chair to face him, finding the boy wearing a crooked smile on his pretty pink mouth, half-propped against the opposite van wall.
His biceps strain against the fabric of his sweater when he folds his arms behind his head. The hem of it rises slightly up his torso, revealing a sliver of his golden stomach, dusted with sparse chestnut hair that trails into his jeans.
His gelled chocolate locks sit in a wild halo on his head, messy from the long night. The dark strands glow a lighter honey color in the amber lamplight, along with the mischievous glitter in his brown-eyed gaze.
He’s beautiful.
And you hate that he’s beautiful.
And you hate even more that he knows it.
“See?” Steve lilts when he catches you staring. “You’re obsessed with me, honey.”
“Do you wanna pass the time or what?” you deadpan.
His grin widens when you slide the heavy headphones from your ears, setting them back on the decibel reader before reaching for the hem of your sweatshirt.
You drag the thick fabric up and over your torso. It falls to the carpeted floor in a crumpled ball when you toss it beside you. It leaves you half-naked, in a pair of high waisted jeans and a black cotton bra — a few years old and a size or more too small, considering how worn it is around the edges and how your plush breasts threaten to spill out over the top of it.
A witty response gets caught in his throat when you slide off the orange cushion. Your knees hit the thin carpet on either side of his waist with a dull thud. Steve’s hands migrate instinctively towards your thighs, resting warm and wide on the outside of your hips when you settle on top of him.
“How ‘bout a game of spin the bottle, then?” Steve jokes, half-strangled at the sight of you.
“How ‘bout you stop talking and lie there and look pretty while I ride you?”
He reaches eagerly between your bodies for the buttons of his jeans, then freezes when your cold fingers wrap around his wrists to halt his movements. The stern, half-disinterested look you give him makes him melt when he meets your gaze.
“We’re on the clock, Harrington,” you scold. “I’m not gonna fuck you.”
“Then what are we…?”
The question dies in his throat when you force his hands back to your waist. Your knees spread wider on either side of him until your hips sit flush against his. The warmth between your thighs meets his clothed cock, which twitches instantly in the confines of the denim.
His wild head tips back against the wall, and his words trail off into a moan. “Oh… This is— so not fair…”
“I think you’ll survive, Harrington,” you quip with a soft smile hinting at the corner of your mouth. “Besides… It feels like you’re pretty hard already. I bet you’ll cum for me in no time…”
His lidded gaze flutters shut when you rock your hips over his lap, up his thighs and down again. The pressure of you against his cock provides him little relief — close but not quite close enough. His grip on your waist tightens in a feeble attempt to pull you impossibly further into him. His breathy, grumbled moans bounce off the lamplit walls.
“I’d do anything to fuck you right now…” Steve confesses in a whisper, words softly slurring.
“That’s too bad…” you coo, bracing your hands on his broad shoulders as you drag your hips up and down his thighs. “You’re gonna have to wait… Think you can do that for me, Stevie?”
“Yes…” he moans lowly, both out of pleasure and in the obedient affirmative.
His wide palms smooth over your ribcage, softly calloused against your delicate skin, like velvet holding silk. He cradles your clothed chest in his hands and dips his thumb into the cup of your bra until your left breast spills out. Then he leans slightly forward, taking your pebbled nipple into his mouth.
You twitch on top of when he nips you gently there, then sigh when he runs his warm tongue over the bite. You twist a hand in his wild hair to keep him close when your rhythm falters.
Each pass over his thighs makes your panties shift against the rough denim of your jeans, a delicious concoction on your sensitive clit. A wet spot has slowly formed along the cotton accordingly, pussy drooling at the friction between your bodies — made perhaps more overwhelming by Steve’s stiff cock between your thighs.
The boy buries his moans against your tits, whining and grunting into the plush skin every time you grind over his lap. The pressure of you against him is merciless and unwavering. His briefs grow damp from the pearls of precum his aching cock leaks when it jerks within the suffocating confines.
He exhales hard through his nose. The warm breath fans along your skin as his tongue runs over your taut nipple. He pulls off of you with a smack.
“I’m close…” Steve pants, rosy mouth swollen and glassy eyes lidded. His hold tightens on your waist, gripping you there like it’s the only thing keeping his reeling mind tethered. “Fuck, I’m close…”
“You should hurry,” you tell him, even though your own voice trembles when the knot in the pit of your stomach threatens to snap — even though your hips start to lose rhythm over his lap when your throbbing clit catches the hard zipper of his jeans. “‘Cause if someone radios in before you’re through, I’m not letting you touch me again—”
He caves instantly at your cruelty.
His pretty face, softly flushed, scrunches with a pained sort of look. His fingers threaten to dig bruises into your exposed skin. “I’m cumming,” he warns on bated breath, voice cracking as his body tenses beneath yours. “Holy shit, I’m cumming—”
“Thank me,” you tell him in a gentle whisper, only because you know he’ll do anything you ask him to.
“Thank you,” Steve mumbles in a broken whisper on instinct, chiseled features crumpling when you tug hard at his hair. “Thank you— Fuck!”
He tenses underneath you, hips twitching as his boxers grow sticky with warm ropes of cum.
Through the heartbeat in his ears and the honey in his vision, he hears you whimpering, too. Your arms wrap tight around his shoulders as you bury your face in his neck, burying your pitiful whines there when you cum over his lap.
You’re slow to melt into him, twitching slightly as the high goes away, and turning into a puddle against his chest. Steve presses warm, wet kisses to your neck as you come down.
“That fast enough for you, honey?” he jokes against your burning skin.
You exhale a tired laugh. “Yeah… I think you almost broke your record from the first time we had sex—”
“You promised not to make fun of me for that—” he whines.
“Lovebirds, do you copy?” the radio crackles from the front of the van. “I repeat: Lovebirds, do you copy?”
You huff and roll off of him, adjusting your skewed bra and reaching for your abandoned sweatshirt. Steve trudges back to the driver’s seat, long legs still half-numb from his orgasm. He slouches into the worn pleather with a dramatic huff and grimaces at the wet feeling in his boxers.
He takes the radio in a heavy hand. “Yeah?” he asks into the receiver.
“Why are you so outta breath?” Robin wonders through static.
Steve falters for an answer. “I was, uh— We were just—”
His head whips over to you, eyes wide and pleading.
“Tell her the van broke down, and we had to push it,” you tell him, reciting the lie you’ve used, no less, than five different times on five different party members. “That always works.’
Steve presses the red button on the side of the radio and talks into it once more. “The van, uh— The broke down, and we had to—”
“You can only use that excuse so many times on me, you know?” Robin tells him.
“Shit…” you curse under your breath. “I forgot I used that one on her yesterday…”
“You have got to learn to keep it in your pants, guys. Jeez…”
“Well, you don’t call us Lovebirds for nothing…” Steve quips.
“Yeah, that was a lot funnier when you guys still hated each other.”
“if it goes off don’t you try it, girl, i need your undivided”
💿now playing: turn it off by why don’t we
❯ summary: Renjun is sick of it. Sick of the way you’re constantly glued to your phone when he’s so desperate, so eager to fuck you. He’ll have to do something about it—and if that something means reminding you where your attention belongs, so be it.
❯ pairings: renjun x fem!reader
❯ genre: established relationship, smut
❯ words: 3.1k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, sexual frustration, fingering, unprotected sex (don’t do this!), slight voyerusim, mention of marking, begging, swearing, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, renjun is a little mean (kind of, not really, he's just frustrated)
Renjun hates being online, which seems odd given that his job keeps him constantly in the spotlight. But that’s exactly the issue—he spends at least ninety per cent of his life catering to fans, posing for pictures, and being on camera. So whenever he gets home, he just wants to switch off, and you’re making that incredibly difficult right now.
It started the moment he walked through the door.
Renjun had been buzzing with excitement on the ride home, counting down the minutes until he could finally shut off, wrap himself up in his girlfriend and disappear into two weeks of uninterrupted time together. No schedules, no managers, no alarms—just you and him. He'd imagined the welcome in vivid detail: the warmth of your arms, your bright smile, maybe even a kiss before he could drop his bags.
Instead, he got a distracted, one-armed hug.
The other arm was busy holding your phone to your ear, your eyes flicking to him only long enough to press a finger to your lips to….shush him? His excitement wavered, replaced by confusion as he stood there, mouth agape, blinking.
"Karina," you mouthed, gesturing to the phone.
Oh. Right. You’d mentioned how she was having a rough time with her boyfriend at the moment. Renjun exhaled slowly, nodding as he tried to shake off the disappointment. It made sense—you were being a good friend. Still, he couldn’t help but feel the first night of his vacation had gotten off to a colder start than he'd hoped.
And at first, he was fine with it. He wasn’t a hypocrite—he knew his job kept him busy, knew there were plenty of times he’d unintentionally neglected you. He could be understanding. Patient. But after a night of eating dinner alone, showering alone, watching a movie alone… irritation started to creep in.
He hadn’t even realized how codependent he’d become. So when you finally slipped into bed, he wasted no time pulling you close—arm curling around your waist, lips just about to graze your neck—
And then your phone rang. Again.
Renjun felt his last thread of patience snap.
“Babyyy,” he groans against your skin, tightening his grip when he feels you start to slip away and sit up on the mattress. “Don’t answer it, it’s late.”
He doesn’t want to let you go—doesn’t want you reaching for that damn phone, because the second you do, he knows he might as well just go to sleep and call it a night for himself.
You sigh, fingers threading through his hair as he secures his grip around your waist, holding you in place like a vice. The ringing finally stops, but when you try to pry his arms off, he doesn’t budge—too strong, too stubborn, too frustrated to let you go.
“Junnie, it’s Karina,” you murmur. “She’s having a hard time. I have to call her back.”
Renjun rolls his eyes, clearly not getting it. He’s never been the "therapy friend." If anything, he’s the break-up friend—not one to really understand why his friends stay in relationships with people they have doubts about. He thinks you should offer Karina the same advice.
He nuzzles deeper into your neck, his grip loosening just enough for his fingers to trace feather-like touches down your side.
“But baby, she’s had your time all day. I’ve missed you.”
He knows he’s being selfish, expecting you to drop everything and focus on him, but Renjun’s never claimed to be a saint. He is selfish, wants you now, and in this moment, nobody else is allowed in your mind or your thoughts—not when he’s planning to fuck you.
His fingers continue to trace down your side, the warmth of his calloused touch hot enough to melt away any sense of obligation you have toward Karina. She’ll be fine, right?
But before you can even finish the thought, Renjun’s teasing touches shift into a trail of open-mouthed kisses down your neck. His lips are like silk, smooth and gentle, moulding themselves to fit the curve of your skin, fitting perfectly into the hollows of your body. The sensation sends a shiver racing down your spine, and you can’t help but whimper as his mouth works its magic.
He smiles against your skin, unable to hide how much he fucking loves the way you whimper. But what he loves more—what’s really driving him wild—is knowing he has you exactly where he wants you right now. It flips a switch inside him, makes him hungrier.
His lips tighten, forming a gentle vacuum against your skin, sucking you in as if he’s claiming you with his mouth. The marking is raw, possessive, yet tender—making you feel owned, and like you're his all at once. It almost makes you distracted—almost.
Your phone buzzes.
“Leave it,” he grits, nipping at your skin gently before shifting over you, caging you in with his body.
“Junnie, I—”
His lips are back on your neck, hungry and relentless with only one goal—ravishing you. Your eyes flutter shut as your hands find his hair again, fingers knotting between the loose strands. His lips anchor you in place, holding you under him, keeping you distracted, making you melt into him, making your thoughts melt.
Another buzz.
Renjun growls when your eyes snap open to glance at your phone on the nightstand. That absolutely won’t do. He’ll have to up the ante, make sure the next buzz you hear will be your orgasm drowning out that fucking ringer.
When you feel his hand sneak from your waist to toy with the hem of your pyjama shorts, your hand grips his wrist, “Junnie, it could be important…”
He looks at you; you both know that whatever Karina wants right now isn’t important—it’s not the first time she’s had problems with her boyfriend, and it certainly won’t be the last.
“Aren’t I important too?” he whispers impatiently. “Haven’t you missed me, just as much as I’ve missed you?”
You have. You always miss Renjun—he’s impossible not to miss. And honestly, you had been looking forward to a cozy night in, ordering takeout, watching a movie, and then lazy couch sex. It’s practically a tradition for the two of you whenever he starts vacation. But then Karina called, caught up in this back-and-forth jealousy game with her boyfriend that’s been dragging on for months. And you’re nothing if not a girl’s girl. You had to answer.
His breath tickles, travelling from your nape to your ear where he nips and pecks your lobe.
“Then show me.” His voice drops lower as so does his hand underneath your shorts. “Show me how much you’ve missed me—missed all the things I do to this pretty body.”
His words hit you like a spell, making you liquefy, legs instinctively opening wider as his slender fingers tease up and down your bare slit. Your chest trembles with quick, shallow breaths as his knuckles brush over your clit, the sensation menacing and punishing. It’s deliberate—and you know Renjun well enough to recognize that’s exactly what he wants. You’ve made him wait, so now he’s going to take his sweet time with you. Well, not sweet—he’s pissed, you can feel it, see it in his jaw. This is going to be an unforgiving, frustrated fucking.
Your phone buzzes again, right as his two fingers thrust into you without warning. "Keep your eyes on me, Y/N," he demands on a growl, "Don’t even think about looking at that phone."
You exhale sharply, mouth falling open at the sudden fullness you feel between your legs. “But—”
Your head tilts instinctively, needing to glance at it, to see what the notification is. But before you can, Renjun pulls his fingers out of your pussy, grabbing your cheeks firmly. “I told you to keep looking at me.”
You whimper at the loss of contact, feeling so empty without him. You try to nod, desperate to show him that you’ll obey, that you’ll do anything he asks—so long as he puts his fingers back—but his grip on your cheeks doesn’t budge, to keep your head locked in place.
You know exactly what he wants, that he loves to hear you beg, and you're not one to deny him. Not when you’re feeling so selfish, not when you need him to make you cum.
“Please, Junnie… I need you... I’ve missed you... I need your fingers.”
He smiles down at you, pupils darkening as he watches your chest heave, your body squirming, desperate for friction.
"Where, baby?" he teases lowly. "Where do you need my fingers... It's been so long, I think I’ve forgotten."
You’re not shy, not with Renjun. He talks a big game, but he’s always so sweet, never making you feel silly. So, you tell him, voice needy, "In my pussy... I've been so wet for you, Junnie."
He throws his head back, groaning as his hand slips back under your waistband, cupping your cunt without hesitation. "Fuck, yes you are... so fucking desperate for me."
Then, without warning, his fingers slide back into you, thrusting deep and slow. You gasp, your body arching into his touch as he picks up the pace, his fingers now driving into you with fast, purposeful movements.
It’s not gentle, not soft, not loving. It’s demanding, greedy, frustrated. Renjun’s fingers are harsh, sharp, quick—forcing wet sounds to fill the room, but you’re too consumed by how good it feels to care.
"I want you to see me," he says. "I want you to feel me, to focus on me. Not on your phone, not on Karina, not on anything else. Just me."
Muffled agreeable moans escape your lips, and Renjun chuckles, enjoying the way your hips writhe to meet his movements. So greedy, so eager to use him to get off. He fucking loves it. When he feels your breath hitch, he leans forward to kiss you, swallowing your moans because they’re his.
“Holy shit—Jun! Gonna cum—”
He coos, his eyes glazing over in awe. “Yeah… please, baby, let me feel you—let me feel how good you are, squeezing my fingers.”
You feel your eyes fluttering closed, head tilting back as you succumb to him, to the pleasure. Your orgasm is so close you can almost taste it, but then a low growl rumbles from Renjun, his fingers slowing down, and you realise your mistake.
"I told you," he murmurs, voice husky, "I want your attention, I want your focus. I want you to see me."
His fingers move with a painful slowness, as if he's drawing out every last drop of gratification from your body, edging.
"J-Jun, please—oh my—fuck!"
You can't hold back any longer. You can’t take any more of his teasing, the inconsistent pace, his knuckles grazing against your clit so deliciously evil. It's overwhelming. It’s too much. You lose control, your body shuddering as you cum hard and fast around his fingers, vision spotted, eyes unfocused, as everything blurs around you. Including the sound, your ears are ringing.
And through it all, Renjun's eyes never leave yours, his gaze burning with so much love, so much awe, despite his irritation. It’s so hot, so raw, you can't help but want him over and over again. You reach up, pressing your lips to his, arms slipping around his neck, fingers teasing the hair at the nape.
“Fuck me, please, Junnie, I’m begging.”
He smiles against your lips. “So now you want me, huh?”
“Always want you.”
And you do. You want him right now, so badly that you don’t even care that you’re both still clothed, him only pulling his pyjama pants down enough to free his cock. So badly that you don’t care when he only pushes your shorts aside, running up and down your slit, coating his erection in your orgasm. You're just too desperate to feel him, body aching, limbs scrambling to get closer.
If this were any other day (if you hadn’t spent most of the evening ignoring him) Renjun would’ve put you out of your misery by thrusting his cock deep inside you, fucking you slow and sweet. But you had ignored him, and he’s not feeling very kind right now.
He teases his length between your wet folds, the tip brushing over your hole. It’s almost cruel, how your walls clench around nothing.
"Want my cock in here, yeah?"
You nod because it’s the only response you can manage. Your throat feels dry from the first orgasm he’s already given you, your mind too far gone to form any coherent words.
It’s enough to satisfy Renjun though, his eyes flashing with lust as he drives his cock into you with a rough, needy thrust. You gasp, body stretching to accommodate him, walls tightening around him so heavenly, making him hiss through his teeth.
His arm snakes down, settling around your throat. His grip is gentle but firm enough to apply just the right amount of pressure, the way he knows you like it, as he begins to move. His strokes grow quicker, then slower, more languid. Then a repeat of the messy rhythm just to tease you.
"You ignored me all day, baby," he growls. "You made me wait, made me wonder if you even wanted me anymore."
"I'm sorry," you whisper barely audible.
Renjun’s about to kiss your forehead, reassure you that it’s okay because he loves you so damn much, that even if you upset him constantly, he’d always forgive you. He finally understands why his friends never take his breakup advice. But then, your phone rings again—and you glance over at the nightstand, tearing your eyes away from him.
It fucking pisses him off. You’re not listening to him. And maybe that’s why he shuts down the logical part of his brain, the one telling him that what he’s about to say is a bad idea, and just says it.
"Answer it," he snarls.
For the first time, you hesitate, unsure of what to do, despite his glare daring you to disobey.
“You’re being such a brat today,” he huffs, snatching the phone from your nightstand, glancing at Karina’s name on the screen before sliding the answer button across and putting her on speaker.
A flush spreads across your body, a mix of embarrassment and something else—you’re turned on. You like that Renjun’s relentless pace doesn’t falter, driving in and out of you while your best friend rants about her shitty boyfriend, completely oblivious. Her voice blasts through the phone, while yours is muffled by your hand.
It’s naughty, it’s wrong, but god, it’s so damn hot.
“...like can you believe him?”
You haven’t been listening, you can’t—not with the harsh thrusts driving in and out of your pussy, not with your eyes rolling back, not when you can feel yourself teetering on the edge of another orgasm.
With a nervous swallow, you decide it’s easier to just agree—support women’s rights, but more importantly, women’s wrongs and all that. “I-I know, Rina... he’s such a—oh my god!”
Renjun raises an eyebrow at you innocently, a smirk curling on his lips as if he didn’t just pinch your clit mid sentence, adding a deliciously sharp hint of pain to the pleasure.
You hear Karina’s voice drop a little, “You okay?”
"Y-yeah, I'm fine," you stammer, biting down on your lip, hard.
There’s a brief pause, and that’s almost worse, because Renjun doesn’t slow down—he’s like a man starved. You have no choice but to bite down on your lip harder, almost drawing blood. The thrill of trying not to get caught is clearly a new kink you’re both discovering you have.
"I'm just so pissed at him," Karina continues. "I mean, so what if I started it?"
"T-totally, Rina," you agree through tight teeth. "He's such a—"
Renjun pinches your clit again, and this time, you let out a strangled gasp. No amount of biting your lip is going to help you compose yourself now. You’re a flat out mess.
"Uh, what was that? Are you sure you’re okay?" Karina asks.
You take a deep breath. "Y-yep, all good just... uh, I think I might’ve... just seen a spider," you stutter.
Renjun’s eyes crinkle with amusement, his smirk widening as he continues to torment you. Pinching turns to rubbing. Thrusts get sloppier. You glare at him, but he just winks, clearly getting off on this.
"Oh no, shouldn’t Renjun be home by now? Can’t you ask him to deal with it?"
If only she knew.
"Y-yeah, he is," your breath hitches again. "I should... uh, call him in here, actually. See you later, Rina."
When you hang up, Renjun’s fingers dig into your hips, with just enough sting to make you scream his name and trigger a second orgasm. You feel so full, high on adrenaline, so good. You let out a strangled cry, body shaking with pleasure as you come apart around him.
He doesn’t stop, doesn’t slow down—just keeps driving into you with his own desperate need to chase his high. Rough fingers dig deeper into your hips, holding you in place as he pounds into you with relentless rhythm. His own mind is high on adrenaline, short-circuiting over how filthy and dirty it felt to fuck you while your damn annoying friend had no idea. Even if she did, he doesn’t care. Like he said, Renjun is selfish, not a saint.
When he feels himself getting close, his voice drops, sounding almost gravelly. “I told you, Y/N, I wanted your undivided attention.”
You feel yourself melting from the erratic pace, about to cum again. Renjun’s breathing turns ragged, and then, suddenly, he’s there, his body tensing as he reaches his own climax. You feel him swell inside you, cock pulsing with each spasm of thick white cum spilling. He lets out a low, guttural groan, eyes screwing shut as he cums, hard.
Eventually, his body relaxes, collapsing next to you. You both lie there, panting, chests still heaving, as he wraps his arms around you.
"I think that was the most entertaining conversation you've ever had with Karina," he finally says, sounding so smug you almost want to punch him. But you love him, so you settle for a glare.
"You're actually a monster," you giggle.
He grins, hugging you closer before pressing a kiss to the top of your head. “I’ll go get something to clean you up.”
You nod, feeling the bed shift as he gets up. As Renjun heads to the bathroom, your phone beeps again. And despite everything, you still haven’t learned your lesson—you check it.
Karina 12:33 AM
That was not the scream of someone finding a spider.
You were totally fucking Renjun.
I’m traumatized.
Blocking you.
Something tells you Renjun would love the sound of that.
warnings / tags : explicit sexual content, oral (fem receiving), panty licking, sub!jeno, praise kink / pet name kink, pet play / puppy play, overstimulation, squirting
wc: 1.5k~
The TV flickered quietly in front of you, but your attention drifted the moment Jeno settled on the floor at your feet. He didn’t say a word—just lowered himself until his head was resting on your thigh, dark eyes tilted up at you. Wide. Pleading.
“Jeno,” you murmured, fingers instinctively carding through his hair. “What are you doing down there, hm?”
He nuzzled against your leg like he couldn’t help himself, a faint shaking breath slipping out when you tugged lightly on his hair. His hands gripped your knees, thumbs stroking over the soft skin as if he were asking permission without saying it out loud.
“Use your words, puppy.” Your tone was sweet, but firm enough to make his lashes flutter.
“I wanna—” His voice cracked low, muffled against your thigh. “Please… wanna taste you.”
Your lips curved, affection tugging at the corners. He looked so wrecked already, just from asking. “You want between my thighs that badly?”
He nodded quickly, almost frantically, nose brushing your skin as he whined again.
You tilted his chin up so he had no choice but to meet your eyes. His pupils blew wide, breath hitching as he whispered, “Please let me taste you. I’ll be your good boy.”
You hummed, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “Go on then, puppy.”
His shoulders relaxed the moment you spread your legs for him, like a command he’d been waiting on. He nosed up along your inner thigh, inhaling like he was already drunk on the scent of you.
“Slow, puppy,” you reminded, tugging his hair just enough to make him whimper. “Don’t make a mess yet.”
“Yes…” His voice was breathless, muffled against your skin. “Yes, I’ll be good.”
Jeno’s lips pressed against the damp fabric, reverent little kisses that had his lashes trembling. The sound he made was half-whimper, half-moan, like the scent alone was already too much.
“Smells so good,” he breathed, voice muffled against you. His fingers curled into the couch cushions as if to stop himself from tearing the fabric away.
You laughed softly, low and dangerous. “Then show me how much you want it.”
Jeno’s tongue flattened against the soaked cotton, dragging slow and heavy strokes that made you clench above him. The taste was faint but maddening, and he groaned into it, like he was drunk off the hint of you.
When he switched to little kitten laps, precise and needy, the fabric darkened even more under his attention. He pushed the tip of his tongue right against where he knew your clit was hiding, pressing hard enough that the wet cloth sank into every curve of your cunt.
“God— your taste even through this,” he panted, nuzzling against the heat like he couldn’t get close enough. His teeth scraped lightly over the damp spot, tugging the fabric just to feel you twitch.
His lips sealed around your clothed cunt like it was holy, drawing in until the fabric was soaked and his jaw ached. Every drag of his mouth was accompanied by a soft groan, as if he was the one being satisfied. When you shifted your hips just slightly, his whole body shuddered, whimpers spilling free like he couldn’t contain it.
“Good boy,” you praised, stroking his cheek with your thumb. “So desperate just to make me feel good.”
He whined, hips rolling against the floor in helpless frustration, but his mouth returned instantly to its task. He devoured the fabric, hard, until it stuck to your folds, and then licked it clean again, over and over. Every sound he made was needy and broken—whimpers, little groans, muffled begging into your cunt.
“God—Jeno…” Your head fell back, a soft moan spilling out. “Look at you,” you murmured, tugging gently at his hair until his flushed face tilted up. His lips were swollen, glistening with spit and your slick. “My needy little pup.”
“Yes,” he gasped without hesitation. “Please— please, just let me taste you for real. I’ll be good, I swear.”
The corner of your mouth curved into a dangerous smile. “Open.”
He obeyed instantly, lips parting, tongue already lolling out like the obedient pup he was. You hook a finger under the band of your panties and peel the drenched fabric aside, dragging it slowly across his tongue before baring yourself to him. His moan was guttural, chest trembling as the first unfiltered taste hit his mouth.
“Fuck—” His voice broke into a whimper as he dived in, tongue immediately circling your clit with sloppy reverence. His hands gripped your thighs tight, pulling you open, but it wasn’t greedy — it was worship. Every stroke of his tongue was messy, eager, grateful, like he couldn’t believe you were letting him this close.
“That’s it, puppy,” you breathed, hips rocking gently into his mouth.
He moaned into you, nose bumping your clit as he licked a slow stripe before enveloping it with his lips. The sound was obscene, wet, desperate: his whole face buried between your thighs like it was where he belonged.
When you tugged his hair again, he looked up at you, chin slick, pupils blown wide with need. The sight alone had your stomach twisting. “Good boy,” you whispered, and he groaned so hard his hips jerked against the carpet.
“You like that?” you teased, pressing your heel lightly into the floor near his knee.
His voice broke, muffled against you as he licked relentlessly, tongue tracing messy circles that had your thighs trembling. Jeno whimpered, grinding his tongue against you like he’d die if he couldn’t make you come.
Your chest tightened and your thighs clamped around his head. Your fingers carded lazily through his hair, nails scratching just enough to make his eyes flutter shut.
When you glanced down, the sight nearly undid you — Jeno on his knees, face buried between your thighs, eyes shut tight like he was praying. And when you thread your fingers into his hair again, his moan spilled directly against your clit, broken and worshipful, as though your taste alone was salvation.
Your thighs began to tremble for real this time, little jolts shooting through you as the pleasure built too sharp, too much. You tried to tug his hair back, gasping, “Jeno—wait, slow down—”
But he didn’t.
He only moaned into you, the sound guttural, vibrating against your clit. His tongue dragged faster, sloppier, like a man possessed. His hands gripped your thighs hard, keeping you spread open as his mouth sealed over you, sucking like he was trying to drink you dry. “God, you taste—” His words broke against your skin, lips already diving back down before he could finish. “Can’t stop. Don’t wanna stop—”
You squirmed, hips twitching away from the intensity, but he chased you, burying his face deeper, nose pressed firm against your folds as his tongue worked relentless circles over your clit. It was messy now, spit and slick smearing down his chin, dripping onto his chest, and he didn’t even care—he groaned like he needed it, like your taste was oxygen.
“Jeno—ah, too much—” you gasped, trying again to push his head back.
He shook his head against your whimpering, begging even as he licked harder. “Please—just one more, I’ll make you come again—let me, let me—” His voice cracked, desperate. “Need you to come for me, need to feel you.”
And when you finally did—shuddering, gasping, your thighs clamping around his ears—he only moaned louder, rutting helplessly against the floor as he kept devouring you through your high, dragging you over the edge again and again until your legs shook too hard to hold him in place.
Your cries got sharper with every orgasm, body twitching and straining under his insatiable mouth. You were long past the point of holding back, long past dignity—every sob, every whimper spilled out raw as he kept drinking you in.
“Jeno—ahh—” you plead, voice wrecked.
But he only growled into your cunt, sucking harder, tongue sliding over your clit again and again. His arms locked tight around your thighs, refusing to let you squirm away. Each time you thought it was over, he dragged another wave out of you, coaxing broken moans from your throat.
Your thighs were shaking violently, tears streaking your temples, and you felt yourself breaking open under his desperate worship. “Please—”
And then it hit—white-hot and unstoppable. Your body arched off the couch, and with a strangled cry you squirted against his mouth, slick soaking his chin and dripping down his chest.
That finally made him moan, guttural and shaking, grinding his hips helplessly against the floor as he latched onto you like he was starved. He kept lapping at you until every last shudder ran out of your body, until you were twitching from overstimulation, sobbing weakly and slumping back against the cushions.
Only then did he slow, panting hard, face glistening with spit and slick. His lips were red, swollen, trembling, his chest heaving like he’d just run miles. His eyes were wide and glassy.
You cup his flushed, ruined face in your hand, thumb brushing his wet cheek. He whimpered softly at the touch, nuzzling into your palm.
“Good puppy,” you breathed, voice low and wrecked but warm.
The sound he made was broken, desperate, and blissful all at once—like your praise just destroyed him more than any orgasm ever could.
it happens by accident: you’re riding him slow, and his head tips back, voice breaking on, “fuck, baby, you’re so good, you’re taking me so well.” the words slip out before he even realizes. your cunt clenches around him instantly, and the sound you make—breathy, high, needy—has his eyes flying open. he tries to cover it up, fumbling, stuttering, “i mean—you’re just… perfect, i don’t…” but you’re already grinding harder, chasing more. the aftermath is messy: he’s embarrassed, pink ears, rambling apologies, but he can’t stop himself from repeating it every time. soon, “good girl” becomes his trigger, and he notices you come faster when he says it. praise becomes his weapon—that’s it, baby, keep going, my perfect girl, ride me just like that. eventually he admits it outright, panting into your neck: “i think i’ve got a problem, because the more i praise you, the harder i cum.”
renjun — hand on throat
it’s heated, an argument-turned-sex, both of you biting and snapping until you’re on your back, and he’s fucking into you like he’s punishing you. your voice won’t stop, whining, daring, spitting little jabs. without thinking, his hand comes up, palm over your throat, pressing you down into the sheets. you go silent—eyes wide, chest heaving—and his hips falter when he feels the wild jump of your pulse under his palm. “shit,” he gasps, ready to pull away, but you whimper, arch into his grip. after that, he can’t help it—he learns the rhythm of it, tightening just enough when you’re about to cum, making you cry out in a way that feeds his ego like nothing else. he’s guilty after, stroking your jaw, murmuring apologies into your hair, but he’s hard again within minutes, because the image of your flushed face, lips parted under his hand, has already rewired his brain.
jeno — filming you
jeno’s control snaps the first time he pulls out his phone. you’re bent over his lap, moaning too pretty, body glistening with sweat, and he can’t stop thinking, i’ll forget this, i’ll lose this if i don’t keep it. he grabs his phone, hits record, and when you realize, your eyes go wide. you whine his name, but your body arches harder, your moans louder. afterwards, he can’t stop watching the clip—on the train, in the shower, jerking off to the shaky footage of his cock disappearing into you. it spirals fast: he buys a camcorder, sets it up on the dresser, tells you to look straight into the lens while he fucks you, tells you to say his name so the audio burns into memory. aftercare is obsessive—he wipes you down, kisses every mark, then stays up half the night replaying the video, rewinding the moment you cry for him until it’s etched into his bloodstream.
haechan — orgasm control / denial
with him, it starts playful. he’s eating you out, and every time your thighs tense, he pulls away, laughs at the way you sob, whine, beg. “aww, baby, you thought that was it?” his tongue is merciless, then gone, his fingers curling just enough, then stopping. when you finally cum, it’s so violent you almost scream, shaking in his arms while he grins, smug and obsessed. he realizes he can drag it out—hold a vibrator to you, fuck you slow and shallow, stop when you’re right there, make you cry actual tears. the first time he does it, he whispers into your soaked skin, “you don’t cum until i say so,” and the power that rushes through him has him nearly unloading untouched. afterwards, he’s tender, stroking your hair, cooing praise, but in his head, he’s plotting the next round, the next denial, already hooked on the sight of you ruined and unsatisfied until he gives permission.
jaemin — mirror sex / reflection obsession
he notices it the first time he bends you over his desk, the way the full-length mirror catches your face, your lips swollen, your eyes teary. his thrusts stutter as he realizes he can watch everything—the way your tits bounce, the way your mouth trembles, the way his cock disappears into you. “look,” he orders, voice low, pushing your chin up so you’re forced to see yourself. the shame makes you whimper, but your cunt grips him tighter, and jaemin groans, addicted. it becomes ritual: mirrors angled, lights adjusted, him fucking you slow just so he can watch the reflection ripple. he narrates what he sees, lips hot on your ear: “look at that, baby, look how messy you are for me. you see yourself? you’re perfect like this.” after, he kisses your reflection in the glass, wipes away the fog with his palm, murmuring, “i think i like watching you even more than touching you.”
chenle — cockwarming
it begins lazy. you’re both studying on the floor, and he’s hard, distracted, whining that he can’t focus. you roll your eyes, straddle him, slide down onto his cock, keep reading. his world tilts. the stretch, the heat, the way you sit there so casual, thighs tight around him—it short-circuits his brain. at first, he tries to be good, to stay still, but his hips twitch, cock leaking inside you, until he’s groaning, forehead pressed to your chest. you clamp down, smile all sweet, warn him not to move, and he whines, loud and shameless. soon, it becomes his favorite thing: you warming him while you do anything—paint your nails, scroll your phone, talk to your friends. he’ll be buried deep, eyes glazed, fighting not to thrust. the aftermath is always messy: he loses control eventually, fucks up into you, cums too fast, then begs for another round, muttering how he can’t live without it now.
jisung — innocence corruption (dirty talk)
the first time it slips, he’s fucking into you slow, overwhelmed, and whispers, “fuck, your pussy’s so good.” he freezes, panicked, cheeks burning—but the way you moan, the way your nails bite into his shoulders, encourages him. so he tries again, clumsy, voice cracking: “you’re so tight, you’re… fuck, you’re my slut, right?” when you gasp and nod, his whole world cracks open. it snowballs—every session becomes filthier, his words growing bolder: “open your mouth, baby, let me spit in it. you’re my little cumdump, you know that?” at first, he feels guilty, stammering apologies, but your glassy-eyed “say it again” turns guilt into obsession. afterwards, he hides his red face against your chest, trembling, whispering the filthiest things he can think of until you’re giggling and begging for more. he’s hooked—the power of words, the way you respond, the thrill of ruining you with nothing but his mouth.
tags: possessive, jealous, mean dom renjun. name calling (brat, baby), rough sex, overstimulation, dacryphilia
a/n: hey sooooo…back with some dom renjun again hehe…smut under the cut
—————————————————————
Renjun rocked into you slowly, a torture so good it hurt. You wanted to urge him to move faster, but he was in a mood tonight.
Probably because he saw you giving Jeno a hug. Not that Renjun is typically a jealous person but--something set him off. And when Renjun gets mean, he gets mean.
As if just remembering exactly how you betrayed him, he delivered a particularly rough thrust, jolting you against the mattress. The pillow your face was buried into swallowed the tears in your eyes and streaking down your cheeks.
“Why don’t you go fuck him instead, brat? Making me do all the work when you don’t even want me.”
“That’s not true,” you sobbed into the pillow, his hips snapping against your ass, hard. “Only—only want you, Junnie.”
“I’d find it hard to believe that if your pussy wasn’t so wet right now.”
He reached around to toy with your clit and it took everything in you to not collapse against the bed, your thighs shaking with exhaustion. You cried out, the sound muffled by the pillow.
You could hardly breathe.
“Only I can make you feel this good, huh, brat?”
You nodded, cheek scratching against the pillowcase. “Yes, please, yes only you Jun.”
The sounds filling the room were filthy, slick. Renjun’s breaths hard and shallow behind you, his mouth laving hot kisses against your throat, his teeth grazing your ear. You moaned and shuddered around him when he nipped the sensitive skin, wetness pooling, his cock throbbing deep inside you.
His hand tangled in your hair and he yanked your head off the pillow. “Can’t hear you, brat. What’d you say?”
“O-only you,” the words were practically breath, unintelligible.
“Hm? You need to speak up.” He stopped his movements, stalling the pleasure.
“Only you can fuck me like this, Renjun!” You wailed, choking on a sob. The words came out like shattered glass, jagged and broken.
"There you go." He smirked, releasing you and gripping your hips tight enough to leave bruises. And then he snapped his hips in hard, deep, quick thrusts.
Your elbows braced against the mattress, hands gripping the sheets for dear life as he ran you through.
“Junnie—!” You cried, biting the pillow.
“Take it, brat. Like I know you can. You’re fucking built for me, you know that? Made to take my cock.”
He leaned close to growl in your ear. “You’re mine. All mine.”
Renjun pulled out suddenly, before he flipped you over, your back against the mattress. He pushed inside you again, smooth and swift. Filling you so deep, so well. Your jaw dropped on a silent scream, lashes wet with tears.
“So pretty when you cry, baby. Wanna see your face. Such a good girl when you’re not being a brat. Taking me so well.”
The praise sang through you and your back arched, pleasure racing along your skin, deep in your bones.
He tugged you down on him repeatedly, meeting you with harsh thrusts.
His hand closed around your throat gently. An anchor.
The slight pressure was enough to push you over the edge, your body convulsing as his cock speared you, his fingers pressing hard against your clit.
He frowned, but it wobbled with your walls tightening around him like this. His control was slipping, but Renjun regained it quickly. “I didn’t tell you to cum.”
Behind the pleasure was a nagging sense of fear, but you could hardly acknowledge it. He was still fucking into you. Too much. Too sensitive as your orgasm wracked you.
You sobbed, hands grappling for his chest, his arms, anything. “‘M sorry. Wait- Jun.. s’too much.”
He smacked them away before gripping your wrists and pinning them above your head.
“No, it’s not. You’re gonna take it. You weren’t supposed to come yet. Brats who don’t listen need to be punished, don’t they?”
≣ a.note ⋮ just a little something to try to get me back into smut writing <3
⩩ mark lee ⋮ the guilty pleasure
It always starts the same. Mark shows up after practice, shoulders tense, baseball cap pulled low like he’s sneaking into a crime scene. You tell yourself it won’t happen this time, but the moment he shuts the door, he’s already kissing you like he’s starving.
“God, we shouldn’t—” he breathes, lips still pressed to yours, but his hands betray him, tugging at your shirt like it’s the only thing in his way. You laugh, bitter, because he always says that. He says it again when he’s inside you, sweat dripping down his temple, voice cracking. “We shouldn’t—fuck—you feel so good.”
Afterwards, he lies on his back, staring at the ceiling like it might offer absolution. You reach over, brush his chest, and he jerks away. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?” he mumbles, but the next night he’ll be back at your door.
⩩ huang renjun ⋮ the strict dom
Renjun doesn’t touch you right away. He circles, calm and calculating, as if he has all the time in the world. “Clothes off,” he orders, and you obey, shivering under the weight of his stare.
He sits on the edge of the bed, legs spread, voice even. “On your knees. Let’s see if you deserve it tonight.” You drop down, palms sweating, and he smirks, pleased by your obedience. Every word from him is sharp, deliberate, designed to make you squirm.
When he finally pushes into you, it isn’t rushed. He takes his time, savoring the way you whine, dragging it out until you’re clawing at the sheets. “Please, Renjun,” you beg, but he only tilts his head. “Not yet.” His control is suffocating, maddening. And when he finally lets you fall apart, it’s because he allows it—because he said so.
⩩ lee jeno ⋮ the dependable dick
Jeno isn’t complicated. He shows up, drops his hoodie on your chair, and kisses you like he’s been thinking about it all day. No games, no hesitation—just his solid weight pressing you into the mattress.
He doesn’t talk much during, but his body says everything. His grip on your waist, the drag of his chest against your back, the steady pace of his hips—it’s all reassurance. Even when you’re shaking, begging for a break, he just leans down and murmurs, “One more. You’ve got one more in you.”
And you do, every single time. After, he tucks you into his chest, breath hot against your neck, and you realize he’ll never ghost you, never disappear. He’s not dramatic about it, but he’s always there. Reliable. Unshakable. The kind of man you can’t help but keep letting in.
⩩ na jaemin ⋮ the manipulator
Jaemin has a way of making you feel like you’re in charge, at least until his hand is on your throat and your knees are trembling. He lets you ride him, lets you set the pace, and then flips you over the second you think you’re winning. His grin is sharp, his voice smooth. “Look at you, trying so hard. But you need me to ruin you, don’t you?”
He edges you until your eyes blur, until you’re begging for mercy, and then leans down to whisper in your ear, almost sweet. “Say you love it. Say you need me.” When you don’t answer fast enough, his thrusts turn punishing, each one harder than the last, until you’re crying out his name just to catch your breath. You hate how right he is, how easily he pulls the truth out of you.
⩩ lee haechan ⋮ the chaotic tease
With Haechan, nothing is quiet. He laughs when your legs shake, groans into your ear just to see you shiver, makes fun of the way your voice cracks when you moan. “God, you’re so desperate. It’s pathetic. Cute, though.” His words sting, but his hands are everywhere, making your body betray you.
He pulls out when you’re right on the edge, licking up your stomach while you whine. “Aww, poor baby. Want it back?” His grin is infuriating. “Beg for it.” And when you finally give in, when you choke out the words he wants, he slams back into you so hard the bed creaks. Even when you’re boneless, spent, he’s still running his mouth, telling you how good you look falling apart for him.
⩩ zhong chenle ⋮ the curious freak
Chenle makes everything feel like an experiment, and you’re his favorite subject. He’ll order toys without warning, drag you to bed with a mischievous smile, and strap you down like it’s the only way to keep you from escaping. “Relax,” he says casually, like he’s not about to wreck you. “This is just for fun. Well—mostly for me.”
He stops mid-thrust just to tilt his head and watch you squirm. “So that’s what makes you twitch, huh?” His grin is cruel, curious. “Good to know.” Then he doubles down, using that knowledge against you until your voice is breaking, until you’re gasping out pleas he ignores. By the time he’s finished, your body is trembling, your chest heaving, and he’s still smiling like he’s already planning what to try next time.
⩩ park jisung ⋮ the secretly nasty one
At first, Jisung is hesitant. His hands are clumsy, his voice shaky when he whispers apologies. But once he gets comfortable, once the nerves burn away, something darker comes out. His voice is still soft, but his words turn filthy. “Fuck, I want to fill you up so bad. Please—can I?”
The innocence makes it worse when he finally gives in, thrusts deep and desperate, gasps spilling from his lips. When you guide his hand lower, he groans, eyes wide like he’s surprised by his own need. “Holy shit—why didn’t you tell me you were this wet already?” From there, the hesitation is gone. Every stroke is harder, every word filthier, until he’s a mess above you, fucking like he’s been holding it back for years.
Step into a world of kinks, cravings, and forbidden rendezvous where no desire is too bold to explore. Each story tunes into a different rhythm of pleasure, pushing boundaries and pulling you deeper into obsession. Unleash your inner freak with five fantasies, five different ways to lose control.
Taglists are open, send an ask or leave a comment to be added. Please specify whose you would like to be added to! If you would also like to be tagged in the rest of my works outside of this, fill out this form to join my general taglist!
|| Frequency - H.Renjun ||
- Pairing(s): Idol!Renjun x Idol!AFAB Reader
- Genre(s): Smut, Established Relationship!AU, Brat!Renjun, Brat!Reader, Idol!AU
- Warning(s): N/A
- Summary: You know better than to meet him behind locked doors, but you can never resist when he calls you in. Every glance is a dare, every touch a test of who will bend first. On your shared frequency, you both learn how far control can stretch before it snaps.
- Taglist: @bridgertonletsgo
Also part of my Kinktober 2025.
Estimated Release Date - October 20, 2025
|| Twist - L.Yangyang ||
- Pairing(s): Idol!Yangyang x Club Dancer!AFAB Reader
- Genre(s): Smut, Club!AU
- Warning(s): N/A
- Summary: The club is too loud, the crowd too close, and yet you only hear him. He pulls you where no eyes should follow, daring you to keep up with every taunt. In Yangyang’s hands, temptation is never subtle, it twists until you can’t breathe.
- Taglist: @bridgertonletsgo
Also part of my Kinktober 2025.
Estimated Release Date - October 24, 2025
|| Filthy Rich - L.Haechan ||
- Pairing(s): Sugar Daddy!Haechan x AFAB Reader
- Genre(s): Fluff, Smut, Established Relationship!AU, Sugar Daddy!AU
- Warning(s): N/A
- Summary: He offers you everything—glittering hotels, champagne-soaked kisses, indulgence at every turn. In return, he demands your body, your time, and your affection. With Haechan, luxury isn’t free, but it’s intoxicating enough to keep you coming back.
- Taglist: @bridgertonletsgo
Also part of my Kinktober 2025.
Estimated Release Date - October 26, 2025
|| Call Me - L.Jeno ||
- Pairing(s): Ex Boyfriend!Jeno x AFAB Reader
- Genre(s): Smut, Angst, College!AU
- Warning(s): N/A
- Summary: You should have blocked his number months ago, but midnight always finds you answering. Every call drags you deeper into the mess you swore you’d left behind. With Jeno, obsession tastes just as sweet as it does bitter.
- Taglist: @bridgertonletsgo
Also part of my Kinktober 2025.
Estimated Release Date - October 29, 2025
|| High Five - N.Jaemin ||
- Pairing(s): College!Jaemin x AFAB Reader
- Genre(s): Fluff, Smut, Friends With Benefits!AU
- Warning(s): N/A
- Summary: With Jaemin, everything is a game, and neither of you likes to lose. Friends with benefits becomes a dangerous competition where pleasure is the prize. Tonight, you’ll find out just how far he’ll go to come out on top.
- Taglist: @bridgertonletsgo
Also part of my Kinktober 2025.
Estimated Release Date - October 31, 2025
day 1 <> mirror play <> renjun x fem!reader 18+ MDNI
kinktober masterlist
the glass was merciless. every shift of your body, the flush of your skin, was thrown back at you in HD.
renjun’s hand slid up your skirt, pushing it high enough to reveal the dampening fabric clinging to your core. his lips curved into a sharp smirk when your reflection gave you away before you even made a sound.
“already wet,” he murmured, pressing two fingers over the soaked fabric. he dragged them slowly, deliberately, until you gasped and your thighs closed around his hand.
“eyes,” he warned, tightening his grip on your jaw to keep your gaze locked on the mirror.
he pushed your panties aside, sliding his fingers through your messy folds until they caught on your clit. you jolted, the image of yourself trembling in the glass was almost humiliating. renjun’s smirk deepened as your hips rolled to chase the friction.
“look at how pretty you are like this,” he whispered, dipping two fingers inside you. the slick sound filled the quiet room, echoing under your whimpers. your reflection was pathetic—the way your mouth dropped open, the way your chest rose and fell as his fingers curled perfectly.
your walls clenched, heat building embarrassingly fast, renjun’s gaze in the mirror was merciless. “don’t you dare look away,” he said, bringing his thumb to your clit.
the pleasure ripped through you, hips jerking against his hand. your reflection looked wrecked, flushed and needy, thighs trembling as you rode his fingers.
when he pulled them out, you almost cried from the emptiness. but renjun kept your underwear pushed aside as he undid his belt. the clink of the metal had your breath stuttering. “we’ll let the mirror see everything,” he said, lining himself up.
the first push stretched you open, and the reflection was brutal: your brows pinched, lips parted as a shaky moan fell from your lips.
his pace was steady at first, making you watch every inch disappear inside you. the mirror caught the way your nails dug into his shoulders, the wet shine coating his length each time he pulled out.
“eyes,” he snapped, catching you trying to squeeze them shut. his hand caught in your hair, tugging your head up. “watch yourself take it. watch how good you look getting fucked.”
the vanity rattled beneath you as he fucked into you harder, your body slamming against the mirror with every thrust. your reflection was a mess: hair sticking to your damp skin, lips trembling, chest bouncing with every snap of his hips.
you broke first. orgasm tearing through you, struggling to keep your eyes open as you watched your body convulse around him. the mirror showed it all. the way you clenched down on him, the way your mouth opened to scream his name, your thighs trembling.
renjun leaned in, smirk curling at your ear as he groaned, chasing his own release, eyes never leaving the glass.
“good girl,” he murmured, dragging it out as you shivered around him. “now tell me, don’t you look perfect when you fall apart for me?”
AU/genre: smut, humor, fluff, angst, comfort, strangers to roommates to friends to lovers...?, non-idol!AU, idiot(s) in love
Word count: 13.978 words
Warnings: smoking cigarettes, alcohol consumption, making out under the influence, descriptions of toxic relationships, implied past domestic violence, overthinking, mentions of masturbation, reader has nipple piercings, fingering (f receiving), mentions of squirting and free use, lowkey heartbreak, everyone is dramatic, mentioned past mxm oral, Haechan flirts too much
A/n: Based on real events. Kind of. It's a bit cringe in the beginning, I apologize. Also, anything anybody does is questionable.
Taglist: @she-is-dreaming @nctzennikki09
Against common belief, Renjun hates his job working at the local gas station. Despite his extremely friendly and respectful way of interacting with rude customers who believe Renjun's the one that sets the gas prices as high as they are, he's fuming inside, swearing that if he gets another complaint about the car wash not working properly, or the vacuum needing to be fixed again (for the third time this week) he will snap, but he never does.
Apart from people going on his nerves on the daily about how he can't find their desired brand of cigarettes in the mass of different colored packages behind him (which his boss Mrs. Choi decides to re-sort every other week) within seconds, it's pretty boring.
Especially during the morning shifts (which he hadn't been informed he would be doing during the job interview a few months ago, but why not exploit a poor college student that earns minimum wage by making him get up at 4 in the morning every Monday?), not much happens.
Every time, he stands there and waits. And he waits for something – or someone – in particular.
It had started a few weeks ago, Renjun standing behind the counter, sorting packages of cigarettes and cigarillos all while the coffee machine was cleaning itself to provide him with some background noise (they used to have a bluetooth speaker, but apparently Mrs. Choi took it away – and Renjun's last bit of sanity with it) as he heard loud shouting outside.
Curious as he is, he placed the carton of cigarettes on the counter to spy through the big windows of the gas station onto the almost empty street, dimly lit by a few lampposts and the slowly arising sun, only to see nothing. Just as he wanted to give up, shrugging it off as some drunk teenagers still wandering around and about from the night before, he heard it again.
And then you came in sight.
Renjun had to gulp because, shit, even though your hair was tousled and your cheeks were messy with mascara and tears, he found you enticing, beautiful even. His question of who you were shouting at answered itself just a few seconds later as a male walked towards you with fast steps, making you back away from him, closer to the automatic doors of the gas station. Instantly, Renjun felt adrenaline rush through his veins, for some unknown reason he felt extremely protective of you, ready to step in between you and whoever it was that was trying to hurt you.
"Leave me alone! Go away!" You shouted as you stepped close enough to the glass doors for them to open up, giving Renjun the chance to finally make out the words you were saying.
"Give me the fucking keys," the man answered and you began rummaging through your bag as you stumbled into Renjun's gas station backwards.
"I don't have them," you answered, more tears running down your cheeks as the man grabbed your purse from you to look through it himself, only to drop it to the ground seconds later and rushing out without another word. You shouted after him, "great, now you fucked that up too!"
As soon as the man was out of sight, you slowly bent down to pick up your bag. The sounds of your sniffling slowly stopped as you looked through the display of beverages in the fridge, then stepped towards Renjun once you finally decided on one.
"This and Marlboro Gold, please," you huffed out, pulling your wallet from your purse. Renjun did as you asked, watching as your shaky fingers pulled your credit card out to pay.
"Are you okay? Do you need help?" Renjun finally brought himself to ask, and his soft voice made you look up into his eyes. Objectively, you looked awful, bags under your eyes as you gulped hard, immediately breaking the eye contact, but to Renjun you looked like the prettiest person he'd ever seen.
"I'm fine," you sighed, taking the cigarettes and Red Bull from the counter.
"Are you sure? Do you want me to call someone?"
"No, thank you, I just need to calm down."
"You can wait here, if you want," Renjun offered one of the comfortable bar stools on the side and you smiled, but shook your head, huffing out a weak laugh before exiting the gas station with another look into his eyes.
Renjun had almost given up on seeing you again, but there, an hour later, you were again, screaming at the top of your lungs for that man to finally leave you alone. Surprisingly, he did, and at the same time, Renjun's coworker walked in to take his place behind the counter for the next 5 hour shift.
Just his luck, you sat outside as he came out. He pulled the zipper of his jacket up and stuffed his hands into his pockets to protect him from the cold, and cautiously approached you.
"Hey, if you don't want to, that's okay, but if you need someone to talk to-"
The air was knocked out of his lungs as you got up, instantly wrapping your arms around him to press your face into his chest. He was surprised, but not averse to your sudden hug, his hands flying to gently lay on your back instinctively.
A minute or so passed, and when you finally peeled yourself off of him, he instantly missed your warmth.
"Sorry," you mumbled, sitting back down and Renjun mirrored your motion. You opened your cigarettes and offered him one. Renjun is not a regular smoker, just one or two at a party whenever he's drunk, you know, for the vibe, but he still accepted with a small 'thank you' before you lit it for him.
"You see, that was my boyfriend," you exhaled before sniffing, tapping onto your cigarette even though there were no ashes to tap away, "it's complicated."
Renjun watched you stare into the distance, dragging on your cigarette, and was reminded that he was holding one too. The cigarette kissed his lips as he admired you; you were so pretty, even in this state, and he wondered what happened between you and your boyfriend for you to look like this. So he asked.
"When you love someone, you do crazy shit," you laughed bitterly, gladly accepting the tissue Renjun offered you to wipe off your mascara stains, "and no one's taking me seriously anymore. He cheated on me, twice, and won't understand why it's hard for me to trust him."
Renjun made a noise of understanding, not feeling like words were necessary, like you just needed someone to pour your heart out to. Instead, he inhaled the smoke of his cigarette, finding the taste and effect of it quite pleasing even when he wasn't drunk.
"My family doesn't understand why I'm still with him, and honestly, I don't understand it either. It's crazy, he's crazy." You pulled at the sleeves of your thin jacket to hide something that looked an awful lot like bruises.
"Does he hurt you?" Renjun had to ask, worry written all over his face as he eyed your form.
"He does," you admitted, playing around with your cigarette before you began smiling, "but I just hurt him back."
"If you ever need help, you can always come here," Renjun said and gestured vaguely behind him towards the gas station, and you seemed like you really appreciated his offer.
That had been weeks ago, and ever since then, he hasn't seen you again. I mean, yeah, he has, in his dreams, but not in real life. Renjun's wondering if you're okay, if you broke up with your boyfriend or- yeah, actually, Renjun just wants to see you again, and it seems like the heavens above seem to have heard his silent pleads.
Later than last time, you hurry into the gas station, looking around cautiously before finally looking at Renjun, recognizing him instantly, and so does he. You look a little less demolished and more presentable.
"When you said, I could come here if I needed, you really meant it, huh?" You smile as you place the can on the counter, and Renjun smiles back, nodding.
"I broke up with him," you whisper as you press your card into the slit of the card reader and Renjun congratulates you cautiously, and you sigh. "Now all I need is a place to stay."
Some would say Renjun's dumb (read: his friend Donghyuck) for his next offer, others would call him a crazy bastard (read: his friend Donghyuck) for not letting this opportunity of getting closer to you slip, but, yes, he offers you to stay with him since he has a spare bedroom anyway (he's thrown temporary guest – caused by maintenance at their own place – and friend Donghyuck out to give you a place to stay. Donghyuck's still salty about that.).
Living with you is easy, Renjun finds, but maybe he's just too blinded by your interesting character and agonizing exterior, and all your flaws slip his mind, like for instance when you forgot cleaning your dishes for three weeks and there was no way to be sure if that whatever had been growing there was mold or if you'd gotten a cat with interesting markings without consulting Renjun first. Or when you phoned your friend loudly at three in the morning right after listening to the loudest metal band out there, only to go back to said band after your phone battery died (which you also had to announce loud enough for the whole neighborhood to hear).
Renjun simply likes you, and with his rose-colored glasses, his eyes are shielded from the downstairs neighbor's spit particles that fly out of their mouth as they shout at Renjun for bringing such a loud burden of a roommate into their apartment complex.
And, sure, Renjun hopes that maybe this friendship-roommate-relationship could turn into something more, but right now, you do not seem to be ready. What makes him say that? Ask that the bags under his eyes when he has to get up thrice at night to comfort you through your crying, or rip your phone away every time you're about to call your ex.
Renjun comes home everyday approximately at the same time. He always has his classes, then goes to work his ass off at the gas station or the library before making his way home where he knows you're waiting for him, greeting him at the door with either the smell of a delicious home cooked meal, a movie already stuffed into the DVD player and his favorite snacks waiting on the couch table, or at least a bright smile and the wave of a hand.
When he comes in today finding none of these things, he knows it had happened again.
Quietly, he makes his way over to your room, already discarded of his jacket, shoes and backpack, he gently knocks on the door, even though he knows he's not going to receive an answer.
Gently, he opens your door, meeting nothing but darkness inside.
"Are you okay?"
He knows this question is pointless given the situation, though he still asks, every time, just to let you know that he's worried about you, always receiving a sniffle in response.
Making his way over to your bed that contains you rolled into a little bundle consisting of you and blankets, he steps over the countless pieces of laundry and your other belongings before he reaches the bed.
The mattress dips as he sits down and you stir a little, turning onto your side to look at him. You look awful, yet still like the prettiest person he's ever seen, even though your eyes are red and glossed over from crying, face puffy and tear stained.
He scoots closer to you, laying down so you're at eye level before he reaches out to push a strand of hair out of your face, the gentle action bringing tears to your eyes again. You lean in, giving in to the force drawing you to him, and press your face into his chest. Without hesitation, his arms hug around you, pulling you further into him.
"It's going to be okay," he assures you as you cry harder into his chest, minimizing the space between you.
He holds you. He's not impatient, he just lets you cry it all out until nothing but dry hiccups come out of you. Not knowing what's gotten into him, he presses a soft kiss onto the top of your head and your sobbing immediately stops, and that sets Renjun's mind into overdrive whether he's just calmed you down or if he's crossed a strict boundary line.
Renjun hates seeing you fall for your ex's antics all the time, an asshole who can't treat you right, who used your naïve nature in his favor to toy with you, only to throw you away once you got boring. He doesn't see in you what Renjun sees, he doesn't understand you, and he takes you for granted, something Renjun would never.
Renjun doesn't understand why you keep crawling back to him, but at least – and this part of him might be extremely egoistic and toxic – he gets to be the one to hold you every time you cry.
"Why does no one love me, Renjun? Why did he cheat on me? Why don't I mean anything to anyone?" You ask quietly, your voice shaky from crying so much, and it stings in Renjun's chest that you think so lowly of yourself.
I love you, he wants to say, but he doesn't get the words out of himself. Saying this could ruin everything he has with you, and that's all he has. And he knows that that's what you need right now: a friend, not another lover who could potentially break your heart, even though Renjun would never.
Besides that, how can Renjun be sure that it's love? He barely knows you. Yet you live together and Renjun gets that nervous flutter in his chest whenever he gets the chance to interact with you. So maybe it's love, or at least the seed that needed to be planted for it to grow into a beautiful flower of love.
"You know what?" You sniffle, turning your head to look up at Renjun, "let's get buzzed."
At first, Renjun was hesitant, but if alcoholism is the only way to cheer you up at the moment, he's willing to give it a try. Renjun might seem like he has the perfect solution for ever situation, always pre-calculating every possible outcome, but all that talent deflagrated into thin air once he met you. He feels like he can't read you (yet?).
Liquor floats both of your stomachs and soon after, all the tears on your face seem to have dried completely, leaving you with a lazy grin as you look at Renjun.
"I'm really glad we met," you say, resting your head in the crook of Renjun's neck, and Renjun can't help but feel all giddy inside at your affectionate touch and loving words. He tries to contain his excitement, but ends up wiggling his feet around cutely – a habit he's rather embarrassed about, but the way you seem to notice, but don't comment on it has his mind at ease – and he lays his head on top of yours.
"You wanna know the first thought I had when I saw you?"
Renjun's heart thumps harshly against his ribcage. He's sure that you're not going to say some lovey-dovey shit because you never do, though he's more excited than nervous about the words that are about to leave your mouth, so he asks you to continue.
Before you can begin speaking, you begin laughing, and Renjun feels himself smile as well. He's sure that it's mostly the alcohol that makes you giggle so hard, but he likes to imagine that he's the sole reason for your sudden outburst of happiness. A few hiccups interrupt your laughter, but soon after, you catch yourself, calming down enough to finally speak.
"When I first saw you, Renjunnie," you begin, gently removing your head from his shoulder to look into his face. Renjun mirrors your action immediately, feeling himself drawn very much to your rosy cheeks and glazed over eyes. "I thought you were really pretty."
Renjun chokes on his own spit briefly, aggressively trying to hold in a cough because that would be extremely embarrassing, but you don't really seem to notice as you gaze into his widened eyes, yours rather lidded and hazy as you blink at him slowly.
"I actually thought you were hot. Remember how I told you that my ex cheated on me several times, but I had been sure that I would never do the same to him?"
Renjun weakly nods, simultaneously loving and hating the turn your conversation was taking, the way you look so pretty right now, hair messy and barefaced, he can't help but to fall for you a little more with every passing second.
"The moment I saw you, I thought, if I did I'd do it with you."
A shaky breath leaves Renjun's parted lips, and he knows that this is a sensitive topic for you, but he can't help but to imagine how it would be like to be with you like that. How pretty you'd look underneath him, or on top of him, just anywhere near him where he's able to see your beautiful face. When you'd moan for him, beg him to go harder, and wrap yourself around him. How he'd whisper the three magic words into your ear right as you came for him.
"But why me?" Renjun manages to voice, praying to the heavens above that you'd keep looking into his face and no where else on his body, or else you might recognize the slight bulge in the front of his pants. It's not that Renjun's a virgin by any means, he's had his fair share of experience and is usually not one to pop a boner because of some erotic imagines his brain delivers, but somehow you make him like this, and it scares him as much as it turns him on.
"Why you?" You repeat his question, and Renjun is not sure if you're realizing it, but your face is inching closer to his, and he can already smell the sweet scent of burning liquor. "Well, because you're hot, Renjun, but also sweet. Who wouldn't want to cheat on their partner with someone like you?"
Renjun is definitely scared. Scared that you're just joking. He's scared that you're just drunk and have no idea what you're saying. He's scared of what will happen next.
"You made my heart flutter," you admit, and you're so close that you're going crosseyed as your gaze shifts down to look at Renjun's lips, and he feels his breath hitch and his mouth get dry. He feels as your forehead gently touches his own, and his stomach churns in the best way possible, sending waves of vibrating heat through his chest and into his every bone. "Even though I felt like absolute shit that day, you made it so much better. Thank you."
And with that, the only phrase circulating in Renjun's brain is the one about how drunken minds speak sober thoughts, and that he, for heaven's sake, should just finally lean in an kiss you.
Kiss her, kiss her, kiss her.
So he dares to close the distance between your faces to connect his lips with yours.
Although you were crying the whole day, your lips are incredibly soft as they gently move against his own. Renjun feels like he too could cry, too many emotions mixing with the alcohol in his drunken mind as he feels what it would be like to finally have you. Tonight, he's getting a taste of you, a sweet and lingering one that makes the bitter aftertaste of the liquor fade into nothingness, a note that's just so unmistakably you that he'd recognize it everywhere without having tasted it ever before.
Renjun doesn't notice how it happens, but somehow you end up in his lap, your fingertips softly caressing the short hair behind his ears as you hold onto his face as if you're scared he'd fade away if you didn't grab him like that. Your lips had parted a while ago so Renjun could slip his tongue in and have it dance with your own. He's sure you can hear him whimper from time to time, but he doesn't care, honestly.
He just keeps holding onto your hips, or let his hands wander over the expanse of your back, stroking up to your shoulders and back down. He wants you to feel appreciated and loved and cared for, something no one's ever given you for a longer period of time in the past.
And though he's lost in the feeling of you that is so consuming of his every intend to think straight, he manages to question the moral rightness behind the sudden intimate act. I mean, he's sure that he wants this, but how can he be sure that you want this. What if you'll have changed your mind in the morning, what if you'll feel like he's taken advantage of your drunken state of mind to lure you into a false sense of security just to be one of the many people to use you?
A hand of yours has managed to crawl down Renjun's body, and as soon as he feels it pushing his shirt up to caress over the soft skin of his stomach, he knows he has to stop you. The little devil on his left shoulder forces him to kiss you a few more times, and he does, as passionately as he can possibly muster, enjoying what he's had of you since it's probably never going to happen again, before he lets the angel win, and pulls back.
The sight in front of him, he was not prepared for. Of course, it's you, but you look so delicious that he wants to dive back in immediately, but he can't.
"Are-" Renjun has to clear his throat to find his voice, "are you sure you want this?"
"Renjun-"
"Please, I really want to do this with you, but I can't, not when you're drunk like this. I can't have you regret any of this in the morning. Please."
You sigh, but nod. He knew you'd understand, you always understand him. And God, does it hurt as you slowly climb off his lap, but Renjun reminds himself why he's doing this: to protect you. That's why he stands up, trying to cover up the way his dick is straining against his pants as he helps you get up to tuck you into bed.
Renjun's forced you to gulp down a whole bottle of water and pee two more times before finally allowing you to sleep. You'd been rather flirty during the whole process, acting a little drunker than you actually are to have an excuse to let yourself stumble, giggle and fall into his arms about ten times too often for your level of intoxication to be the sole reason. Hence, he decided it would be better if you didn't sleep in the same bed that night.
The next morning, you come out of your room, groaning loudly as you rub your forehead, then your temples, and then your forehead again. Renjun's already sitting in the kitchen, his favorite '#1 friend' mug (that he'd bought for himself) in his hands as he occasionally takes a sip waiting for your appearance.
"Hey," he greets, and you answer with a tired response of the same syllable as you turn on the range hood to be able to smoke inside.
"About last night-"
"Please, don't mention it. I'm so sorry if I did something embarrassing again," you sheepishly laugh, tapping off the ashes into your cereal bowl from the morning before, and Renjun briefly contorts his face in disgust as he watches the small grey clump sail through the leftover milk.
Then he realizes what you said. "You don't remember?"
Apparently, no, you didn't remember anything, but Renjun's almost sure that it's because you don't want to remember anything because you regret everything from the very first moment your eyes met his. Renjun has to admit that he tends to be overly dramatic at times, especially when it comes to you. So, no, you probably don't hate him, he realizes due to your completely normal behavior towards him, but he's still too much of a coward to bring it up again.
That's why the short-cut making out session between the both of you is not mentioned again, although Renjun tries his best to bring it up at the perfect moment. Though, the perfect moment never comes.
Sure, he could've asked you the next time you were drinking together, but no, the atmosphere was way too chill for a serious conversation just as this one, and Renjun had a pretty important presentation just hours prior that took all of his concentration, leaving behind nothing but a lifeless shell of Renjun's ability to talk well.
The perfect moment could have been on that one night out with your friends when he was asked about his opinions on drunk sex and, later on, sexual relationships between roommates. It would have been way too weird though, with all your friends around, so Renjun kept his mouth shut.
Alright, Renjun sees the pattern.
It's a few days later and you sit on the couch, Clueless playing the background, and if Renjun was asked how he ended up in this situation, he could not give a plausible answer. Pretty much what happened was that you giggled over something, fell into his lap, looked up at him and then somehow magically ended up sitting on said lap with both of your hands squishing Renjun's cheeks.
"You're so cute," you giggle, your eyes sparkling as you keep pushing Renjun's cheeks together.
"What the fuck," is all Renjun manages to get out of his pouting lips before your eyes fall onto them.
"You know that feeling when you see something so cute that you want to kill it because your brain can't cope with its cuteness?" You scrunch your nose and giggle a little more, and Renjun has trouble nodding his head. He's almost thankful that he's not really able to talk, because if he could, a 'that's me with you' might've slipped out.
"Argh," you wiggle in his lap and Renjun does not like that at all. I mean, he does, but he doesn't. "I could just kiss you."
Renjun's eyes widen comically as you lean in to press an admittedly wet kiss right onto his nose. His heart stops beating for a second before making up for it by hammering away at double its usual speed. Renjun is afraid that you're able to hear it, or feel it with the way it makes the air in front of his chest vibrate.
"I love your nose, Renjun, it's so pretty and big."
"You know what they say," Renjun's words are muffled, but you can still hear him apparently as you begin laughing again, louder this time, and Renjun believes he's never heard someone laugh as perfectly as you do. You wrap your arms around Renjun's head, pulling him close to your chest, and Renjun feels his eyes roll back at your alluring scent and his undeniable closeness to your breasts.
"I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me." You quickly apologize, letting go of him, and Renjun has to clear his throat and unsuspiciously grab a pillow to put over his lap as soon as you get off him. "Is it true?"
"What?" Renjun breathes in as the words leave his mouth, he's honestly pretty focused on getting his blood out of his dick and nothing else.
"Big nose, big dick?"
Renjun chokes on air, eyes bulging out as he tries to catch his breath, fingers coming up to pull on the tight-but-not-really-tight collar of his turtleneck. He then continues to open and close his mouth like a fish. The only thing coming out is stuttering, until he finally manages to put it out there, "are you really asking me about the size of my cock right now?"
Renjun finds that you're staring at him for a second too long, maybe even letting your gaze flicker downwards to the pillow still adorning his lap for a brief moment, before you clap your hands together and announce that it was all a joke, but maybe he reads to much into things.
"I mean, I'm not complaining about the size of it," Renjun tries, but is hit in the face with a pillow, a numbing screech hitting his ears.
Over the past weeks, whatever he's been feeling for you has changed. Or, not particularly changed, but intensified, evolved. There has always been the little tingle inside of his heart at the sight of you, or the mere thought of you, your presence, whether it be inside of his apartment or only inside of his mind, that always made his heartbeat a little faster and his palms a little sweatier, or – to keep that anecdote – the seed is sprouting, poking its tiny green head out of the soil to announce that it's alive.
What changed, Renjun isn't aware of. He only knows that he's decided to think way less with his dick when it comes to you. Surely he can't deny how sexy your are with the way you look and carry yourself in general, and yes, he would not say no if the situation would ever come up, but he's not as eager to get in your pants as he was before.
Much rather, he wants to spend time with you, enjoy the little moments and actions of affection, like when his hand suddenly brushes yours as you walk close to each other, and instead of ignoring the incident, you grab onto his hand instead, sending tingling butterflies into his stomach.
This whole thing kind of confuses him, honestly. He's in his twenties, not as hormonal than 5 years ago, but his mind should be trained on getting his dick wet when he thinks about a girl he likes, right?
The exact same question, he asks his friend Donghyuck who – after a meal to Renjun's expenses and a long series of compliments – had finally forgiven Renjun for kicking him out of his apartment just so you could take his place.
"You're in love, you fucknut," Donghyuck retorts, using his napkin to gather the remaining crumbs of his BigMac into one tiny pile on the sticky tabletop of the fast food restaurant.
"Do you really think so?" Renjun blinks unsurely, teeth biting on the paper straw of his chocolate milkshake.
"I hope you are because if not, you have no excuse for throwing the best roommate ever out of your apartment for some chick," Donghyuck states and pushes his pointer finger into his mouth to wet it with saliva, then into the crumbs, moving it towards his mouth. Renjun, just in time, swats his hand away, causing the spit soaked crumbs to fly all over the table.
"That's gross," Renjun mumbles with a frown, then goes back to his task of demolishing the poor straw with his teeth. Donghyuck throws him an angry look, then collects himself and points an accusing finger at Renjun, who tries his hardest to ignore that that's the same finger that Donghyuck just made out with, then dragged through pure bacteria.
"Make a move on her, or I'll make you regret it." Donghyuck's pointing stare and stretched out finger intimidate Renjun a little, but he whines out, complaining that he's told Donghyuck that you're not ready for something new yet.
Renjun has to admit that your outbursts of panic and sadness over your ex had reduced to an absolute minimum of once a week at max, just as your general mentioning of him. All you ever talk about are your new hobbies that Renjun's pushed you into trying, your interests and, well, Renjun. If the roles had been swapped, and Donghyuck was in Renjun's place, Renjun'd have told him to fucking tell you already, but they're not. What if you're not ready, what if he fucks it up, what if he loses you?
Renjun shakes his head at the thought.
"I'm not saying stick your dick in her when she's not looking-"
"- because that would be highly inappropriate and plainly morally wrong-"
"- but tell her something, give her a sign."
Renjun really gives it a thought, maybe two, maybe 348 per minute. Honestly, he's completely stressed out and can't even focus on his work to the point where he has to print out the same receipt 3 times because he keeps throwing it away, lost in his thoughts (he just hopes Mrs. Choi won't notice the excessive amounts of missing receipt paper... they do not talk about what happened last time. Let's just say that he misses his coworker Jisung, he was a funny guy).
On one hand, he wants to do something big, have an occasion to finally hint to you that he's feeling more than platonic love for you, maybe even mention the drunk make out session weeks prior, but he doesn't want pressure you by doing something this big. On the other hand, if he doesn't give his all, maybe you'd think he's not completely sure about his feelings and just wants to toy with you like everyone else. It's a complete mental disaster, honestly.
Renjun keeps breaking his brain over this, but the answer just won't come to him. That is until one special customer places his order: Marlboro gold and a can of Red Bull. The idea strikes Renjun like lightning, and he almost gives the goods away for free, thanking the weirded out guy four times too often as he leaves the gas station hurriedly.
Donghyuck – as the hopeless romantic he is – is completely thrilled by Renjun's idea. He even throws in a little extra-ness and tells Renjun to put little notes on the Red Bull ("because you keep me up at night") and the pack of cigarettes ("because I'm addicted to you"), but Renjun believes that that's a little too much which resulted in Donghyuck fake-crying for a solid minute before giving up at the lack of reaction from Renjun.
The plan is simple: every Friday, you pick Renjun up from the gas station to walk home together after your pottery class, and this week, Donghyuck's going to be there already, inviting you to sit with him in the exact same spot where Renjun comforted you that day you first met. Once Renjun comes in sight, Donghyuck will leave immediately, and Renjun will hand you the goods, then just improvise on pouring the insides of his heart to you.
Said and done, Renjun gathers the receipts of the day to put them in the safe for Mrs. Choi to compare it to the contents of the cash register, and notices you walking along the street towards the gas station. Donghyuck, who hasn't left his assigned spot for the past 20 minutes, gets up to greet you, and Renjun has to bite onto his lip to contain a nervous smile.
He watches your surprised reaction as Donghyuck jabbers into your face and feels his heart skip a beat. Fucking hell, he's in deep if you talking to his friends gets him all giddy inside.
Waving his colleague goodbye, Renjun grabs the energy drink and cigarettes he's just bought off the counter and steps outside. It's way warmer than that day when you first met and Renjun feels admittedly sweaty, though this could be caused by his fizzling nerves and not the weather. Somehow – Renjun doesn't want to question how – Donghyuck had managed to get you to sit down with him, and as soon as the younger male notices Renjun approaching you, he just stands up and runs away. In any other situation, Renjun would have laughed at this weird kid, but he's got a situation to overthink.
Dumbfounded, you blink into the direction Donghyuck ran to, eyebrows raised and scrunched in concern, you breathe out before noticing Renjun as well. A wide grin spreads over your face at the sight of him.
"Your friend is really weird," you state and watch as Renjun sits down beside you.
"I know," Renjun chuckles, voice quieter and shakier than usual, but you don't seem to mind. He looks up at you, taking in the way the light breeze washes through your hair, heart pacing away in his chest at the sparkle in your eyes that only ever seems to be present when Renjun is as well. Blinking away his short-lived trance, Renjun pulls his presents for you out of his pockets. "I have something for you."
"Oh?" You smile, reaching out to grab onto the can and cigarettes, forcing down a smile. Renjun mentally high-fives himself. "What an odd order."
"It's what you bought the day we met," Renjun reminds you, biting onto his lip.
"Ah, that's right! I can't believe you remember!" You grin widely, ruffling Renjun's hair as you bounce a little. Renjun swears that he just melted away at the sight. You gently open the plastic with your fingers, opening the cigarettes to pull two of them from the package. "Would you, my dear Renjun, share this with me?"
The deep voice you speak in makes Renjun smile as he nods, taking the cigarette from you before quickly reaching into his pocket to pull out a lighter to assist you. You smile, lips hugging the bud of the cigarette as you inhale, then blow the smoke out away from Renjun who motions to light his own.
"What's the occasion?" You pinch his nose, and Renjun has no idea why, but he falls a little more for you in that moment.
"I actually have something to talk you to you about."
"Sounds serious," you joke, winking at Renjun who mentally falls down a bridge and survives. Renjun suddenly realizes that he should have gone with his gut feeling and prepare this talk a little better. A stutter comes out of him, and he uses his cigarette to give himself a small time frame to come up with a better way of saying "I am undeniably in love with your entire being, please marry me and have my children" without saying exactly that and sounding like an idiot.
You lean forward, catching Renjun's gaze with yours before you quietly say, "Am- am I masturbating too loud?"
Renjun chokes on air, almost falling backwards as his eyes widen dramatically. "No! I mean- I wouldn't know! I don't hear a thing! And even if I did, I'd not listen to it because-"
"I was just joking," you laugh, padding Renjun's shoulder and he releases about 4 kilograms of air from his lungs, then an awkward chuckle follows. "You're cute when you're flustered."
"You're cute."
"I'm cute?"
Renjun halts. Did he really just say that? "Yes?"
"It sounds like a question," you tease, licking over your bottom lip.
"It's not though," – go big or go home, Renjun – "and not only cute. You are, um, nice."
"Nice?" Your eyebrows raise in humored disbelief.
"No- I mean, yes, but- more than nice. What I'm trying to say is," Renjun closes his eyes and tries to steady his breath. This is not going as well as planned, but as he opens his eyes again, he sees you smiling at him.
"I like you."
As soon as it's out there, Renjun regrets it. Bazillions of questions rush through his mind, most of them along the lines of "did I just fuck it up?", but as he looks over at you, you're still smiling, biting onto your lower lip as you watch Renjun struggle.
"It's okay if you don't- I mean- I just wanted to get it out," Renjun tries to explain, "you know that one night where we- we drank together and- we kissed, but then you didn't remember and I thought you regretted it, but-"
"I like you too."
"I know- wait," Renjun abruptly looks up at you, still smiling at him, "you like me too?"
"You're an idiot," you say, grabbing his face with both of your hands to turn him towards you, "I actually remember the kiss, though I thought it was a dream. It actually made me realize that I... kind of liked you because I rarely dream, and never about... kissing."
For the first time since Renjun's known you, you seem shy, and it makes his heart flutter a little differently, a little more, a little faster.
"Can I kiss you?" It's out there before Renjun even realizes he's opened his mouth. Instead of giving an answer, you just press your lips against his. Renjun melts into you, forgetting everything around him. He's only focused on the feeling of your lips and your taste, the sound of your gentle breathing, and the explosions of feelings in his heart. He's so focused that he doesn't even hear Donghyuck hollering in the background.
That night, Renjun finds himself lying awake with a wide smile plastered on his face. You like him too, his mind recalls the events of this afternoon, and you've kissed him. And then you kissed him once more when he was preparing dinner, just a chaste peck, but it was still a kiss. Then it happened once again on the couch, a movie quietly playing in the background as he watched you play on your phone from his spot next to you, face hidden behind a novel. He initiated the kiss that time, and he felt you smile against his mouth.
Not being able to contain his excitement over the situation, Renjun giggles quietly, hands cupping his face as he wiggles on top of his mattress. His mind, clouded with thoughts of only you, suggests that his bed would feel a lot better if you were in it. Hence, he grabs his phone, typing in a message for you. He knows that he shouldn't rush things, he doesn't want to pressure you since he's not sure the many wounds your ex has left in your heart have healed yet. This way, by just texting you, he's giving you a way out without you having to reject him. You could just pretend you didn't see it and were already asleep, but when he sees your response to his message of 'do you want to sleep together', his heart jumps in his chest, and soon after, you gently push the door open to reveal your face to Renjun.
"Sleep together?" You giggle as you enter, closing the door behind you, "but I didn't shave."
Renjun's smile falters for a moment, then his eyes widen as he realizes what you must've thought, "n-no! I just meant spending the night together, like, sleeping next to each other!" He quickly assures, hands wiggling through the air to support his point.
You chuckle, "so you want me to go back to my room and put some panties on?"
Blood rises and gathers hotly in Renjun's cheeks, then shoots down right into his dick. The simple thought of you coming over to his room so nonchalantly, casually wearing nothing but an oversized shirt to cover your core from his eyes, has him hardening quite quickly inside his boxers.
"Do whatever you feel comfortable with," he answers quietly, wanting to sound calm and collected, but his words come out so shakily that he's sure that you know of the effect you have on him.
Without another word, but with another smile, you slip under his blanket, instantly scooting close to him to place your head on his chest. Renjun is quick to place his arm around your body, holding you close to him. He's glad that it's relatively dark in his room, so as long as you don't directly focus on his crotch, he can get away with his boner.
Having you close should put Renjun's mind at ease, but the small conversation keeps his thoughts occupied, wondering if you want to sleep with him. You wouldn't come over to his room so quickly without any underwear if you were opposed to the idea, right? But at the same time, Renjun is afraid that you felt pressured. Or maybe it was just a simple joke?
"Is that something you want?" Renjun puts it out there.
"What? To fuck?"
Renjun chuckles nervously. "Yeah."
"Do you want a short or a long answer?"
"Don't leave out any details," Renjun assures you, pressing a kiss onto your head and you sigh contently.
"You see, I wasn't sure. But don't overthink this yet, I'm not done," you chuckle, moving your hand to stroke over Renjun's stomach, and he briefly appreciates that you seem to know him so well, "I told you before that I would have, you know, cheated on my ex with you, but back then I didn't really consider the potential sex-part of that. But somewhere around the time I jokingly asked about your size, I imagined it. Like, full on scenario and, shit, it was so hot."
Renjun forces down a smile that creeps onto his face, offering you his fingers to play around with, which you gladly accept.
"I tried to stop thinking about it, you know, to save our friendship-roommate-thingy, but I couldn't, especially not when I was touching myself."
The sound Renjun was opting for was an understanding hum, what comes out instead is something more of an aroused whine that makes you turn your head to look at his face, clearly amused.
"So you thought about me when-"
"Exactly."
"I see," Renjun simply states and clears his throat, but in his mind, he's dabbing right now, and he knows you can tell by the proud look on his face.
"I wasn't sure if I should tell you about this as it would inflate your ego, but honestly, you deserve it, Renjun. I want your ego to be big, I want to praise you. Because you're a good guy," you smile, inching closer to his face until your lips almost touch his, "and that turns me on so fucking much."
Just as Renjun groans out, you press your lips against his, tongue almost immediately pushing against his lips to beg for entrance. He allows you, letting his tongue dance with yours in a passionate kiss.
You begin moving, gently pulling him on top of you, and Renjun's hazy mind screams at him that it's going to happen now, he's going to fuck you. No, scratch that: he's going to make love to you.
"What I'm trying to say is," you break the kiss to catch your breath and look right into Renjun's eyes, "I'm sure that I want it. I trust you."
"Fuck," Renjun whines, burying his head in your neck to leave kisses there.
"Renjun..." you gasp as he sucks on the sweet spot behind your ear. He hums, running his hands over your sides and you grasp onto his shoulders."Touch me."
Renjun does not need to be told twice, his left hand coming up to gently cup your breast over your shirt, massaging it only to let his thumb flick over your nipple occasionally. Meanwhile, his right hand moves down your body, fingers dragging down over the expanse of your torso as it slips lower and lower in hopes to get you even more excited.
Finally, he reaches the hem of your shirt and pushes the fabric out of his way, then lets his fingers dance over the insides of your thighs. As much as he wants to touch you, he needs to drag this out. He's still afraid of losing you, so he has to make every second count. But as soon as he feels you bucking your hips into him, wanting more and more of him as you moan, he can't hold himself back any longer, and finally lets his finger run over your folds.
You mewl at his touch, and Renjun has to bite down on his lip to not moan out himself, too aroused by the feeling of your gathered wetness seeping out of you onto his finger. Spreading your wetness over your whole core, he gently eases one of his digits into you, and both of you moan at the feeling.
Renjun really tries to only focus on your face, but how can he when the shimmering moonlight catches his eye indirectly by being reflected by something. His gaze dips down, finally taking in your naked chest for the first time only to be met with a set of shiny jewelry adorning both of your nipples.
Involuntarily, his breath hitches, the slow movement of his finger inside you faltering as he takes you in. So beautiful, is all he can think. "Didn't know you- had those," he admits, trying to cover up the effect your piercings are having on him. Given your responding chuckle, he must have failed miserably, but he can't care about that right now.
"Had them for quite a while now," you inform him, and he doesn't know whether that's just a random information to throw in or if you're trying to tell him that they're fully healed and he should, for fuck's sake, just wrap his lips around them. Either way, he goes for the ladder, placing a kiss to your jaw, then your collarbone, only to then give an experimental lick to your nipple.
With the way your back arches, pushing your breast further towards his mouth, he can tell you're sensitive. Maybe that's a side effect of the piercings, maybe you'd always been like this. Renjun just knows that he absolutely adores how responsive you are to the soft touch of his tongue against the silver barbells and the area they adorn, so he keeps going.
He's careful, not applying too much pressure as he sucks on the nubs, afraid it'll hurt you. Though, your appreciative sounds that only rise in intensity the rougher he gets hint that he doesn't have to be that at all, careful.
His finger had picked up its movements again, gently feeling you up on the inside to stimulate you, but also to prep you for his length. As aforementioned, Renjun wouldn't say that he's breaking the world record with what's resting in his boxers – admittedly very hard at the moment – but he believes that a proper preparation for what's to come is going to make said event a lot more enjoyable for you. (Sure, he's fantasized about what you'd look like struggling to take him before, but that's besides the point right now).
A second finger is added, and you pant heavenly above him, grinding your hips while simultaneously pushing your chest further against him. Renjun feels like this is heaven, especially when he decides that, no, he's not going to break you and can rile you up even more by gently grazing his teeth over your nipple, as he's immediately rewarded by a whiney moan slipping from your parted lips and a clench of your wet walls around his fingers.
It's not long until start begging him to go further. Renjun, mind hazy from how aroused he is by inflicting pleasure on you, does not waste a second before pushing his remaining clothing out of the way. A gentle hand that you're moving to wrap around him is pushed away carefully, and you chuckle, getting the hint that Renjun can't wait any longer for this either.
Once he's positioned himself right at your entrance, dragging his tip through your folds a couple of times, you move to gently lay a hand on his cheek. His eyes immediately leave where you're almost connected to look back into yours. You look beautiful, even more beautiful than you usually do. He knows this might be a side effect of him being almost united with you quite literally, but he just needs you to know. The whispering words tumble out of him before he can stop himself. There is so much adoration in your eyes in response that he's just about to go all in and confess his undying love for you, but he believes that might be a bit much for now. Instead, he slowly pushes his hips forward.
The glide is easy because you're simply wet enough to soak right through his skin and into his heart (as if that didn't happen already), and both of you cannot contain the sounds of pleasure accompanying the feeling. Renjun just hopes that your heart beats just as hard as his does right now, but he doesn't dare check.
Inevitably, the incident lead to another, and that lead to yet another until it was an occasional thing for you and Renjun to fool around. An objective bystander (Donghyuck) would lovingly call it friends with benefits, but Renjun believes that there has to be more to it. On his end, at least.
Sure, he's had really strong feelings for you way before his tip abused your g-spot until you squirted all over his thighs, but he notices that it gets worse every time you so much as touch him, a lot worse even every time you clench around him repeatedly. A new high of worse was discovered when you whispered into his ear how no man had ever made you cum like that. And yes, that had been Renjun's go to topic to talk about every time he met up with his friends. Not to brag, but you'd been with other men, but he, Renjun, is the one who made you cum the hardest, fastest and longest, and Renjun strongly believes that the whole world has to know about that. Or, in other words: he bragged.
Though sometimes, Renjun really wishes he could tune his overthinking down to just a hobby level, but unfortunately it's an unpaid full-time job, and he has to practically beat the delusion into his brain that you probably like him just as much as he likes you. Otherwise you wouldn't let him hit every night, right? You wouldn't say these things if you didn't like him back. You wouldn't trust him with your darkest sexual fantasies and let him live out his if you weren't in love with him as well, right?
"I think it's a bit sus as well," Donghyuck confirms, the sound of his nail clipper supporting his statement.
"Do you have to clip your toenails right now? I'm eating," Renjun complains, holding a protective hand over his bowl. He really wonders if no one had ever taught Donghyuck manners, or if he just forgot all about them once he moved out.
"Yes, I have a date tonight," Donghyuck explains, tongue catching between his teeth as he concentrates on clipping the sharp corner of his big toenail.
"A date?" Renjun raises his brows in interest.
"Me, Julia Roberts and a glass of the finest wine under 5000₩."
"You really got me there for a second... I swear I will hit you if one of your stinky nails flies into my soup."
"Anyway," Donghyuck sighs, "maybe she does like you. I don't know, I'll have to spend more time with her to find it out."
"Not happening," Renjun mewls, mouth still full of vegetables. "I'm not letting you near her."
"Why not?" Donghyuck finally shifts his gaze away from his toes to look at Renjun.
"Because you're the kind of person that clips their toenails at the dining table. I don't want her to think my friends are weird. She already thinks you're weird as it is. No need to make it worse," Renjun reasons, disapprovingly eyeing Donghyuck's position.
"Nothing. Just tell me again, what were the things she let you do to her?"
"She asked me to tie her up and do with her body as I wish- wait a second, I've told you that three times already. Could it be that you're getting off to this?!" Renjun squints accusingly.
"Julia Roberts can't satisfy all my needs, you know?" Donghyuck's eyebrows jump up, seemingly utterly satisfied with his joke.
"I'm really thinking about blocking your number as soon as you walk out this door."
"No, you need me. I think you should confess, and I know just the way to do it..."
How does one write a love letter? Renjun has to admit that he is not the best with words, neither with saying nor writing them. He's always been more of a painter than an author, in his opinion, and he realizes this once again as he's sitting in front of an empty page figuring out how to put his feelings into words in the least cringy way possible.
Donghyuck had made it sound so easy, given that the moon would be in Libra soon, the perfect time for a love confession. Renjun has not a single clue about what that means, but Donghyuck swore he's heard it from his friend Yuta. Libra is ruled by Venus after all, the planet of love. Unfortunately, Renjun is not very interested in astrology. The only thing he knows is that he's an Aries, apparently, which means he's impulsive and angry all the time.
And it shows, he has to realize, as he furiously puts the pen down he's been fidgeting with for the past half an hour, and angrily pushes his chair back to get up. Enough. He doesn't need the arrangements of the planets or whatever to help him confess his love to you. He can do that all by himself. And he's going to do it right now.
Lips pressed tightly together, he steps out of his room, then marches down the short hallway to knock at your door. He hears a bit of shuffling, then the door opens to reveal your form. Immediately, you smile, and Renjun melts at the sight of your messy hair and comfy clothing. God, he just likes you so, so much.
Ah, yes. The reason why he came over here is to tell you that. And yet here he stands, definitely at a loss of words which leads him to note that, once again, he should not rely on his improvising skills when it comes to confessing to you. Or just not in general, that would be best.
"Hello, stranger," you mumble, twirling a strand of hair around your finger, and Renjun has to huff out a laugh at the nickname, given it had not been over 3/4 of an hour since you've seen him last. "What brings you to my door at this hour?"
"Uh-" Renjun starts fiddling with the hems of his sweatshirt, eyes lowering to his fingers so he notices your feet stepping closer to him. You lift your hand, pushing his chin up with your pointer finger.
"If you came here to fuck me, you can just say so. Don't be shy," you grin, moving your finger to hook into the neckline of his shirt to pull him inside your bedroom.
In retrospect, Renjun can see why it wasn't such a great idea to confess to you like that. The room around you is dark, the candles you'd lit way before he even came to knock on your door already burned down, the only source of light being the moon shining through the window; an awful symbol that will forever remind Renjun of your first night together.
Renjun has to admit that it's a little cold, sitting in your room naked with just the blanket covering his private parts, when you're not close to him providing him with the general warmth of your body and the heat that spreads when you, well, exercise.
Renjun also has to admit that your cold reaction of "oh." to his confession of the three magic words has an effect on his body temperature, but more in a symbolic kind of way. It's silent, the only thing being heard is your shallow breathing which simultaneously calms Renjun down knowing you're still there and haven't left the country because you hate him so much, and stresses him out because it makes him aware that you exist, and that he's fucked up big time. He should say something.
"I'm sorry." Okay, maybe not that.
"It's fine," you sigh, not missing a heartbeat. The blanket is pushed all the way up to your chin, and Renjun does not major in psychology, but that doesn't seem like a good sign. You sigh again, moving your head to look at him. Renjun must look destroyed (not only because of the things you did to each other just minutes prior) because your features soften immediately. "I just- did not expect that."
"I shouldn't've put you on the spot like that. It just- came out." Renjun feels like he wants to jump out of the window face forward.
"Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't like you like that. Obviously" – you motion awkwardly between your naked bodies on the opposite ends of your mattress – "it's just that, um, I thought what we had was okay."
"You're not ready," Renjun sighs, "and I will respect that."
"It's not- just that. I mean, maybe it's that. I don't know, I didn't major in psychology." Renjun huffs out at this. "I just don't see myself in a relationship. Not right now, and, to be honest, right now I don't see myself in a relationship in the future either. I-" You breath out heavily and a little shaky, "It's hard, you know?"
"I know. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have... I should've just kept it to myself."
"That's not what I meant. You shouldn't- I mean, we should be able to talk about our feelings, right? It's not a bad thing that you said it. It's just- I can't-"
"It's okay. Really, I understand," Renjun mumbles, but quite frankly, he doesn't really understand. How can you not want this? If you feel the same about him, why can't you just- date him. Make it official. He's the only one fucking you anyway. "I should go."
His heart feels extremely heavy as he gets up to collect his clothes, slipping at least his boxers on before opening your door.
"Hey," you stop him just at the door frame, making him turn to look at you, "are we okay?"
Are we okay? Renjun takes a deep breath. No. No, he is not okay, not in the slightest. He feels like his heart has been used as a punching bag in a teenage boy's room after his mom wouldn't let him skip school to play online games all day. Renjun feels hurt and sad and, honestly, a little bit angry.
"Yeah," he says, releasing the breath through his nose, nodding while facing the ground, then you again. There's a sad smile on your face, and he presses his lips together, nodding once before he closes your door.
The second the clicking noise of the door is heard, hot tears gather in Renjun's eyes, and he hurries over to his room before they can run down his cheeks. He'd much rather just soak them in his pillow than wipe them off the floor in front of your room.
Renjun doesn't know how to speak to you. Hence, he doesn't, staying over at Donghyuck's new place for a couple of days instead, but to no avail. You just wouldn't leave his head. Plus, your advances of talking to him, a genuine text message to ask if he's okay which he always responded to with nothing but thick, painful silence were not helping him get over you by any means.
Renjun isn't quite sure what he's feeling. There's a whole lot of sadness clouding his thoughts, of course, you'd practically rejected him. There's also a lot of anger, a little directed at you, some directed at himself, but most of it directed at your stupid douche of an ex boyfriend who is the sole reason why Renjun can't have you. But then, he's also scared because what if one day you'd decide to try it with him, but then realize that it's not working? Wouldn't that be worse? Maybe.
Renjun is just exhausted. He yearns to be with you, but he can't. He cannot risk hurting you just because he's still angry with you over something that's not your fault. At the same time, he knows that it'll only get worse the longer he waits. So he does just that, but anxiously.
That is until there's a knock on his door (read: the door to Donghyuck's room that he's been barricading for the past days leaving Donghyuck to sleep on his own couch). Renjun's imagination runs wild and his heart aches at the visual image of you standing there, eyebrows scrunched together in worry, but then-
"Open up, fucknut."
Donghyuck. Renjun's sad facade drops into one of pure irritation. Unfortunately, Renjun knows that Donghyuck won't leave him alone – a lesson he had to learn the hard way during their high school days, he doesn't like talking about the incident. He's never been the same since, their friendship hasn't either. Also, it's, like, Donghyuck's room, so he has practically no right to keep him outside whatsoever.
"Go away," he tries anyway.
"I will stay here knocking all night, or climb through the window."
"Why?" Renjun whines, stomping his feet on the ground like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
"I'm interested how much your dick changed since high school," Donghyuck laughs, but Renjun sprints towards the door, opening it and pulling Donghyuck inside by the neckline of his shirt.
"Will you shut the fuck up? I do not need to be reminded of that," Renjun spits, then closes the door behind them, a deep crease in between his eyebrows.
"So you didn't like your first blowjob?" Donghyuck's voice is shrill and loud and accompanied by a sharp smirk.
"We've already talked about that that was not the problem," Renjun mumbles through gritted teeth. Donghyuck flops down on his own bed for the first time in days, sighing exaggeratingly with his arms crossed behind his head. He breathes a couple of times, and Renjun does nothing but stand there watching awkwardly until Donghyuck re-opens his eyes to look at him.
"Woah, you look like absolute horse shit, are you okay?"
"Um." Renjun blinks, not knowing how to respond to that. Sure, he could've slept a little more and maybe taken a shower, but for what? You weren't coming to see him anyway, so what's the use?
Donghyuck scrambles off the bed, getting unnecessarily close to Renjun's face to examine the dark circles under his friend's eyes, not shy to use his fingers to squish at the purple-ish skin.
"Hyuck-"
Donghyuck gazes into Renjun's eyes, a smirk forming on his lips. "Are we about to kiss right now?"
Renjun whines, pushing the younger back onto the bed by his shoulders.
"Oh, eager are we?"
"Shut up! I'm having a crisis," Renjun sighs, dragging his feet over the carpeted floor towards the obnoxious gaming chair that he's spend too many hours sitting on, contemplating over how his life is going to go from now on, and sits.
"So you're finally going to tell me what happened? I know that you're a 'I need space' kind of person, but sometimes it's good to talk about your feelings with a pal, you know?"
Renjun is once again surprised how Donghyuck can be such a great person.
"I confessed."
"Okay... and given the fact that you're moaning around in my room instead of hers, I'm assuming it didn't go well?" Donghyuck sits at the edge of the bed, leaning his elbows on his knees and places his face in his hands.
"Exactly."
"What happened exactly?"
"Well, I was inside of her. And she kept telling me how good I'm fucking her, praising me and keeping me so close, there were candles lit around us and- I just couldn't hold it in-" Renjun whines, reliving the moment vividly.
"You told her you love her while you were fucking her?" Donghyuck deadpans.
"...yes?"
"You are a crazy bastard, Renjun," Donghyuck laughs, patting a hand on Renjun's thigh, "honestly, I don't know why that didn't work, if it had been me-"
"Are you being sarcastic?" Renjun frowns. He's usually great at detecting Donghyuck's jokes, but he obviously hasn't been himself lately.
"No, I'm serious. Just imagine you inside me, whispering 'I love you' for the first time. God, I think I'd nut immediately and then cry," Donghyuck sighs dreamily.
"Donghyuck, I'm asking this in all honesty: do you have a crush on me?"
"All bromance, dude," Donghyuck confirms and Renjun lets out a relieved breath. He then further explains the rest of what happened that night, not even leaving out the details about how he cried in his pillow while listening to "Back To You" by Kun and Xiaojun all night long.
"Okay, buddy," Donghyuck sighs, scooting a little closer to Renjun whilst almost slipping off his mattress, then takes the older's hands in his. "She just wasn't ready. It's not your fault. Don't beat yourself up over this, yeah? You'll get a good night of sleep, and then you're going home tomorrow. You have to talk to her."
"But..." Renjun sighs.
"But what? What's the worst thing that could happen? She already rejected you, and she clearly misses you," Donghyuck says, motioning his head towards Renjun's phone that's lit up with yet another message from you.
"You're right."
"Of course I am," Donghyuck nods, then pulls Renjun up from his chair, then gets up as well and presses a really wet kiss to Renjun's cheek. Disapprovingly, Renjun motions to wipe it off, but Donghyuck catches his wrist just in time. "No, don't. I want there to be traces of me when you go back to her."
"You're so incredibly weird," Renjun retorts, cringing at the cool, wet spit drying on his skin, then gasps as he's pulled on the bed by Donghyuck.
"One night with me and you'll forget all about her," Donghyuck promises, a hint of mischief sparkling in his eyes and Renjun can't help but break out a smile. They end up spending the night together, and Renjun has to push Donghyuck off him and keep him away with his feet planted against Donghyuck's ass, but it's all playful and good, and it makes Renjun finally forget about his worries about you. It's moments like these where he's most thankful for having Donghyuck in his life.
Renjun can't move. He's been standing here for five whole minutes, keys in hand already hovering in front of the lock, but he can't bring himself to push them inside, turn them, and face you. Maybe he should just turn around and go back to Donghyuck. But he'll be so disappointed with him, and Renjun'd never be hearing the end of the 'Renjun has no balls' jokes, so he makes a decision.
"I'm home," Renjun announces, not quite sure why he settled for this introduction, but that's just what he usually says. He kicks his shoes off, then turns to hang up his coat when he suddenly hears flopping footsteps that approach him so fast he can hardly comprehend them before someone wraps their arms around him from the back.
A smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, he immediately recognizes your scent. Your arms wrap tighter around him, almost cutting off his air and he wonders if you've always been this strong.
"I missed you so fucking much," you finally say, voice muffled by the way your face is pressed into Renjun's back.
"I missed you too," he admits, grabbing your wrists gently to pull you off of him. He turns around to face you, and, fuck, you still look so beautiful that he feels all his feelings bubble back up like he's ready to blurt his love into your face all over again.
"Don't. Ever. Leave me. Again," you say, an eyebrow raised as you punctuate every word with a poke of your finger to his chest. Renjun grins stupidly. God, you're so perfect. How could he've ever been mad at you?
"I missed your nose," you admit, gently tapping the tip of his nose with your finger.
"My nose?"
"Yes, your nose," you motion to stroke over it, and Renjun's heart flutters, and he feels like he's sliding down the biggest water slide in the world, but instead of water, he rushes right into a pool that is just filled with you. He lets you drag him outside to the balcony, an admittedly very small one, but it's just big enough for the both of you to sit comfortably.
You pull out two cigarettes, and Renjun gladly accepts. You light it for him, then your own, and after a minute or so of smoking in silence, you speak up.
"So, I've been thinking," you say, and Renjun has to stop his stomach from dropping because after that scene at the front door, there's no way that you're going to tell him that you never want to see him again. Right?
"While you were gone, I'm gonna be honest, it didn't feel good. It felt really bad, actually. I realized that I did not only miss my daily dose of orgasms, but just your presence. I like being around you. I will forever be thankful that you even took me in in the first place. And I realized that I don't want to spend even just a day without you. Or you know, at least, knowing you'll come back soon, you get what I mean?"
Renjun grins. There is nothing he can do or say except for grinning widely and occasionally inhaling his cigarette.
"What I'm trying to say is," you say, taking a deep breath, "and this is kinda embarrassing after I lashed out on you like that – I'm sorry, by the way – and it's totally cool if that's not cool for you, but even though I can't say these words right now, I want to give it a try."
Motionless, Renjun keeps grinning. Then, his toes begin wiggling and he turns his head towards you who sits there anxiously nibbling at your fingernails awaiting his answer.
"I would fucking love that," Renjun finally says, still smiling widely, and you immediately mirror it. You scoot a little closer to him, placing your hand on his thigh with your palm facing upwards, then send him a look.
It's weird because Renjun's held your hand before, and he's been way more intimate with you, too, but as soon as your fingers intertwine, he gets a whole new set of butterflies fluttering around his intestines.
"Um, Renjun?"
Renjun hums, raising his brows to motions you to go on. You avert your gaze uncharacteristically shyly, then lean towards his ear to whisper, "can you say it again?"
You pull away, not looking at him, instead taking a last drag and pushing the butt of your cigarette into the ash trey. Renjun stifles a chuckle by biting down on his lips, then hooks his finger under your chin to turn you face to look at him. Your eyes are wide, and a little nervous, and he must admit that he finds that absolutely adorable.
Renjun gazes deeply into your eyes, tilting his head slightly before whispering, "I love you."
Your breath hitches in your throat, and your eyes switch between looking into his left and right one, even your grip on his hand tightens. Renjun feels intensely proud to get such a reaction from you.
"Again."
Renjun leans closer, catching a quick glimpse at your lips before looking into your eyes again. "I love you."
"Again," you whisper shakily, eyebrows scrunching gently.
"I love you." And with that, he closes the distance between your faces. Your lips feel familiarly soft moving so gently against his, and he's actually missed the scent of smoke that sometimes accompanies your kisses. Suddenly, the kiss intensifies. You start kissing him with vigor, your free hand moving to pull him closer to you.
The kiss feels desperate and needy, and he can feel every word you said earlier in the way you push yourself against him. It's then when you get up, pulling him along right into his bedroom.
Renjun doesn't waste any time closing the door, and pulls you into his chest, lips colliding once again as you quickly strip each other of your clothes while making your way over to the bed.
The only time your lips part is when you're taking off your shirts, and when Renjun gently guides you to lay down. He knows your body like the back of his hand, but he's still pleasantly surprised at how wet you are as his fingers ghost over your folds.
You desperately hum against his lips, pushing your hips upwards. Renjun gets the hint, and just in time with his tip nudging at your entrance, he breaks the kiss. He almost melts at the way your eyes are glossed over, and he leans in to peck you one last time before slowly pushing in.
"I love you."
You whine this time, desperately pulling him closer, and he leans his forearms on either side of your head. Your arms wrap around his waist, gently stroking over his sides and back as he bottoms out, then sets a slow pace. You let out soft sounds, quite the change from your usual loud moaning when he's being rough with you.
Renjun feels like he's in heaven. He knows that these exact thoughts go through his head quite often, but there is no other way to describe it (as aforementioned, he's not that good with words). Though your effect on his body, and the things you do to and/or with him, are anything but holy, he feels the need to call you angelic. It's certainly not the first time your warm walls hug him, but it feels different. Renjun is not one to compare sexual encounters, especially not when the general vibes of them differs so tremendously, but this time he feels so much closer to you, and he really likes that.
Renjun is going soft on you, taking his time to really make you feel all of him. There is no rush, just pure love that he feels the need to show you with more than just his words, but with gentle actions that prove how well he knows you and your body. He wants to be the person who shows you what it feels like to be loved.
Renjun doesn't know whether it lasted seconds, minutes, hours or days. He only knows that once he finished, you were clinging onto his body, tears staining the soft skin of your cheeks because he had succeeded in showing you his love. In that moment, as bizarre as it might seen because he was sleeping with you, he found you really started trusting him. You'd been so afraid of being played all over again that you simply couldn't accept his love for you until you were certain you could trust him with the remainings of your heart. And Renjun feels really proud of that.
He may or may not have called in sick for work twice this week to spend more time with you. It's not like you're really doing anything besides cuddling, talking, or gifting each other orgasms, just simply being as close to one another as possible. Still, Renjun does not have the balls to formally ask you out.
"You know how sunflowers always move so they're pointing at the sun?" Renjun says, moving his Rook to A5 on the checkered wooden board before mimicking the way the sun inches over the sky on the daily. You grin, nod, then take out his Rook with your Knight.
"What happens when the sun sets and then rises, do they just-" Renjun snaps his head back to its original position, East.
In response, your eyebrows scrunch in amusement, lips tightening before you can't hold back your laughter. Renjun grins widely, from one ear to another, especially when your laughing escalates which results in you accidentally kicking the chess board with your knee which causes all the figures to fall and roll over the entirety of your tabletop. He's not sure if you noticed, but he was losing terribly just now.
"Oh man, now I ruined our game night," you giggle, wiping a single tear that left your eyes and sniffling once, very harshly. Renjun's heart and stomach are currently fighting over who's got more butterflies to tickle his insides.
"It's okay," he responds lowly, sitting with his back against the couch only to then take your hand and gently guide you to sit on his lap. You chuckle, but comply straightening your back as your hands come to lay on his shoulders.
Renjun strokes over your hair, smiling up at you, feeling like the luckiest guy in the world. He leans in, pressing a kiss to your lips that you reciprocate. "You know, I have a few other things in mind that we could do instead."
"Oh, really? Another game?" You grin, eyes fluttering shut as Renjun's lips come in contact with your neck.
"Call it what you want," Renjun mumbles, earning a snicker from you.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about something," you sigh happily, thoughts already distracted because Renjun – not to brag – just knows how to touch you to get you going.
"You do?" Renjun pulls back, brows rising to show his interest in your talking.
"Yeah," you say, nervously biting your lower lip. Old Renjun would've felt a rush of anxiety rippling through his body, but new Renjun, or as Donghyuck likes to call him: weeny lover boy Renjun, can't do anything but stare at you lovingly.
His heart begins beating a little faster as you lean forward, your breath ghosting over his ear has goosebumps covering his body in the best way. "I-" you kiss the shell of his ear which gives Renjun the chills, "I love you too."
Nothing. There is nothing in Renjun's head for a split second. He stands there, in his own mind, a wide area of nothing but white nothingness until he finds his way back to reality. You love him? You love him back?
The surprise must be written all over his face as he grabs you by the shoulders to make you look at him, a chuckle coming from you. Renjun is not sure what's going on, but his heart is simultaneously beating faster and slower at the same time. A doctor would look incredibly anxious staring at the heart rate monitor if he was at a hospital right now. His apple watch would tell him to stop whatever the fuck he's doing right now, if he had one.
"Seriously?"
"Yes," you laugh, and finally Renjun can put on a smile. No, he doesn't put it on, it forms itself, spreading over his entire face before he crashes you into his chest, hugging you so tightly he's surprise your rips don't collapse. Then he pulls you into a kiss, but not only one, but dozens of them, all over your face until you push him away giggling.
"Hold on," you say, still grinning.
"Okay." Renjun is the happiest guy on earth.
You scramble off his lap, getting on one knee in front of him, and this time it's Renjun's turn to scrunch his eyebrows weirdly before breaking out in laughter.
"Huang Renjun, would you like to be my boyfriend?"
love beyond is so incredibly freaky. haechan what the hell. it's also like such a good song???? the instrumentals and the background vocals and the layering his adlibs....wow... going to be on repeat
No shot is the perfect dom renjun and I'm so glad I'm not the only dom renjun believer LOL like the mix of real talk in between the heat of everything the logic cutting in the lust is very renjun coded in my mind
ahhh thank u!! YOU GET MEEEE... i always feel alone on this train but ik there are ppl out there that see the vision!!! the amount of times he's stepped up and taken control in all the nct content i've watched like... it's subtle i guess to those who aren't paying attention but i feel like he's so obviously dominant in a lot of aspects. he's just small and cute...but it's always the innocent cute ones...
also yesss the logic in the lust is the perfect way to put it! i just know he pays attention to every little detail too, which, of course, makes for great orgasms cuz he's going to notice what you like and don't like... i have so many thoughts abt this man i need him bad
summary: You’re not supposed to fuck your enemy. But you do. And you kind of have feelings for him.
tags: 18+ MDNIIIII, smut (renjun fucks reader w/ a g*n (not the one in the pics lol)…idk the mechanics of this, it’s not safe. don’t do it. I just think it’s hot. unprotected piv (don’t do this!!) switch!renjun (but tbh he’s a bit more dommy in this), switch!reader), enemies w/benefits to lovers, Renjun has a lot of feelings as per usual so things can’t be casual, nicknames (love, baby, one good girl), reader uses junnie and jun nicknames a lot, they're like part of enemy rebellion factions??? idk i kinda of just made something up and rolled with it
wc: 4k+
a/n: whenever I hear ppl say renjun wouldn’t be a dom or alpha or whatever I just think of him saying in that one fan sign that he’d rather be the master than the kitten and move along 🙂↕️
“I’d hate to shoot you.” Renjun says, his pistol positioned between your eyes, the cold metal of the barrel stings against your skin. “You’re too pretty for a bullet wound.”
You’d back away if you could, but Renjun has you pressed against a cold brick wall of an abandoned building, one finger tenderly stroking the trigger of the gun, his other hand delicately tangling through your hair.
“Fuck off,” you sneer, but Renjun only smiles at your indignation.
“You’re bold for someone whose life is in my hands.”
You scoff. “You won’t kill me. Who will you be able to fuck once I’m gone? I'm about the only pussy you get.”
Renjun’s eyes darken, though his smirk never falters. He presses the barrel further into your brow. “Watch your tongue.”
“What?” You smirk, straightening, your chest pressing into his. “That hit a sore spot? Listen, Junnie, I can live without you, but everyone knows you can’t live without me.”
He huffs, and moves so quickly you can’t even suck in a breath before his hand is on your throat, and his gun is pressed between your thighs. He spreads your legs with his foot, and shoves the gun against your clothed core. “Shut up.”
You wheeze against his fingers wrapped around your throat. Just enough pressure to make it difficult to breathe, but not enough to render you unconscious. It makes you lightheaded, has your eyes rolling back. The weight against your core makes your knees buckle. Arousal pools between your legs, hot, fast, unrelenting.
You hate how Renjun can practically see right through you. Knows exactly how much he affects you, how much you like this game.
Will you live or die tonight? You don’t know, and that only makes you burn hotter for him.
“These are cheap tactics, Huang,” you gasp, lashes fluttering when he slides the gun forwards, then backwards in a torturously slow rhythm. “F-fight me like a real man.”
The last word barely leaves your lips, because the hand at your throat slides to your jaw, holding tight. “I thought I told you to shut up.”
“Make me,” you grit through your teeth.
The fingers at your jaw squeeze, parting your lips. And then his mouth is on yours, warm and surprisingly soft. It’s a welcome contrast to the hardness of the gun between your legs, the grittiness of the brick at your back. The anger Renjun uses to hold you in place.
Despite yourself and all the reasons why you should shove him off of you, you succumb to the kiss, falling deep into the way he takes his time exploring your mouth. Your hands thread through his hair, tugging on the dark strands. He groans low in throat, nipping at your lip in retaliation. That’s how it goes with him—a push and pull. Someone always has to fight back. Fucking Renjun was like fighting a battle, an eye for an eye.
The gun between your legs still moves against you, and heat flares within you like a flame brought to life, Renjun the one who lit it. You can’t help but grind yourself on it, a moan shuddering out of you when the tip of the barrel glances over your clothed clit. Renjun claims the moan with a lick of his tongue into your mouth, his head shifting to deepen the kiss. He presses in against you, his hand trapped between you, stalling the movement of the gun, but you don’t mind it, not when you can feel the hard length of him against your thigh.
You grind your thigh over his clothed cock, grinning into the kiss when he whimpers, hand sliding from your jaw to grip your waist and hold you still. His hips chase the friction, rolling against your thigh. His breath escapes in desperate pants against your lips.
“Slipping, Junnie?” You tease, though you’re just as breathless. You’re not quite in control here either.
That was something you like about fucking Renjun. Your sworn enemy. You are equals, on the battlefield and in bed. Dominance isn’t assigned to either one of you, it just comes to whoever needs it most at whatever time.
“You wish,” he grunts. “Don’t forget I’ve got you at gun point.”
“Not sure we can call it that.”
“Oh yeah?” You feel the gun against you again, a sliver of fear lacing through you. And, to your dismay, arousal follows. Renjun can feel it in the way you tense against him, and he smirks.
“Bet you want me to fuck you with this, huh?” He says lowly at the shell of your ear.
You want to say no. Want to shove him off, push him down, and finally end this once and for all. But fuck, it’s so hard. It’s so hard when his hand is heavy and warm on your hip, grounding you in place. It’s so hard when that wretched gun is moving against you like that. When Renjun’s lips are planting hot and open mouthed kisses along your jaw, your throat.
“You’re crazy,” you huff, though your hips jerk at the idea.
“Not as crazy as the girl who wants me to do it. You can’t even hide it,” he says, and stills the gun. Your hips chase the friction withheld from you, proof it’s exactly what you want.
“So fucking do it then,” you growl. Frustrated with how easily he’s unraveling you, you decide to fight back, hand drifting to palm his hardening cock through his jeans. Renjun hisses out a breath, lashes fluttering.
He lets himself drown in the pleasure for a moment, head lolling back as you stroke him through the restrictive fabric.
He looks so pretty like this, you think. All pliant and at your mercy. His hips thrusting shallowly into your palm. Maybe if you just keep this up, he’ll let you do whatever you want to him…
The thought is quickly squashed. Renjun swats your hand away. “Enough.”
He pulls the gun out from between your legs and slides it into the holster at his hip. His fingers find the button of your pants, undoing it. He slides his hand beneath the waistband.
There’s not a soul around. The sounds of the city and neighboring forest drown out the moan that escapes you when his fingers run along the soaked crotch of your panties. A barely there touch. A tease. You need more.
“Junnie,” you sigh, head falling back against the brick.
“So wet for me.”
You can’t even bother to be ashamed, rutting your hips against his hand. Pleasure tingles in your toes, tugs at your stomach. Renjun’s mouth finds yours again.
You moan into the kiss when his hand slides underneath your panties and his fingers come in contact with your bare cunt.
It’s glorious, all you’ve ever wanted, and you shiver with need.
His voice is low, raspy when he asks, “You really want me to fuck you with the gun?”
You nod, moaning when he circles your clit.
"Such a slut," he chuckles into your ear, and it only makes you moan louder.
He slides a finger inside you, then another, thrusting steadily. You grip his wrist, tremble when his thumb passes over your clit.
"F-fuck, Junnie-"
“I love seeing you like this,” he says, almost to himself. His pupils are blown wide as he watches his fingers disappear in and out of you. A pretty flush paints his cheeks, his tongue dips out to wet his lips. “Love watching you fall apart, all because of me.”
His other hand gropes one of your breasts, his thumb brushing over your peaked nipple. You shudder, pleasure mounting within you, pressure building like a star about to collapse.
He circles your clit again. Once, twice. His fingers curl inside of you, the pads of them hitting that spot that has you seeing stars with each practiced thrust.
“Hah, Renjun--I…mmpf—fuck!”
Your orgasm crashes over you in strong, unrelenting waves. Tears catch at the corner of your eyes. You shudder apart on his hand, knees buckling, legs shaking. He holds you through it, kissing your jaw, your neck.
It’s surprisingly…intimate. But you can’t really focus on that right now, not when your vision is going in and out, and Renjun is slowly pulling his fingers out of you. They gleam with your arousal. He brings them to his mouth, licks them clean. You stare, mesmerized. Immovable.
Your senses reawaken, the world coming back to you in layers. The scratchy brick against your back, the chilly midnight air cooling the sweat beading at your brow, the light of the moon casting a pale glow over Renjun’s ridiculously pretty face, his eyes dark and glittering as they roam over you. The gentle puffs of his breath over your skin, the whir of cars passing in the distance. The soft plush of his lips on yours again as he kisses you softly. His hands land on your hips, tugging you against him. You move together, a push and pull, like the rolling of waves against the shore.
You make a hungry, desperate noise into his mouth and he answers with one of his own, licking into you. Your hands find his hair, tugging on the strands. He pushes you further into the wall. It should hurt, should awaken you from the lust filled haze you’ve fallen into. But it doesn’t. You barely register it, mind consumed by the desire to feel his body on yours. You only note his hand slipping beneath the hem of your shirt, hot on your skin. His finger traces the dip of your spine.
You want to feel his skin. You’re both wearing too many clothes, but you don’t have any real privacy. A threat could still emerge at any moment. He could turn on you, strip you down just to make it easier to hurt.
That idea seems far away now. The threat of him as your enemy is almost nonexistent at this moment.
So you settle for pushing his jacket off his shoulders, fumbling at the top buttons of his shirt, bringing your mouth to his collarbone and nipping at it. The sound he makes in response is hungry, heated. Your stomach dips.
And then Renjun pulls away.
“What are you doing?” You ask breathlessly. You’re so obviously desperate you should be embarrassed. But you can’t be, not when he just made you cum so hard you forgot where you were.
Renjun grabs the gun from his holster and a cloth from his back pocket.
“I’m gonna clean this before I fuck you with it.”
The words cause a shiver to run through you.
“What?”
He runs the cloth over the gun until the metal gleams.
“I don’t want you catching some disease from this thing. Who knows what’s on it?”
His concern jolts you. Heat stirs in your chest, traitorous, slipping up into your cheeks before you can stop it. You mask it with a scoff.
“And since when do you care about my safety? Need I remind you we’re enemies?”
He sighs, the sound heavy, tired. “How long are you gonna keep telling yourself that?”
Your breath hitches. For a moment, you’re caught between the warmth in his voice and the cold certainty you’ve clung to. You force your brows into a scowl, jaw tightening as if you can grind the feeling away.
“I’m not telling myself some story, Renjun. This is real life. You’re about to fuck me with a loaded gun. That’s not fucking safe.”
He glances away, biting his lip. Whatever he almost says dies there, buried under the snark that follows.
“Yeah and you like it, for some reason. Seriously, woman, there’s something wrong with you.” He swipes the cloth over the gun, gaze hard. The sharpness you know. It’s steady ground. But you can’t shake the softness that came just before, tilting everything off balance.
“Whatever,” you snap. “Just get on with it.”
He sighs, turning the gun over in his hands, watching the metal gleam in the moonlight’s glow. There’s appreciation in the way he studies it, as though it were something precious.
“You need to learn to be nicer. And slow down. I wanna take my time with you tonight.”
“You're one to talk. Renjun, we don’t have time,” you grit. “I’m supposed to report back to my crew before dawn.”
“Don’t care.”
And then he presses the gun between your thighs, the metal cold against your drenched folds. It makes you hiss, makes your will crumble apart. Has you gripping his shoulders, tight.
“Fuck,” you whimper when he pulls it back to admire it again, the gunmetal slick with you. Renjun’s eyes darken, mouth parting in a combination of awe and lust.
“Look at that…” he whispers, and a flush runs through you like wildfire.
Of all the times the two of you have fucked, he’s never looked quite so reverent.
“Renjun come on,” you groan, anything to distract yourself from how crazy he’s making you feel. “Stop making me wait.”
“Say please.”
You roll your eyes, pride digging its heels in. You whip out that nickname he’s so weak to, hoping it’ll get the job done. “Junnie…”
He only holds the barrel of the gun to your inner thigh. “Say it.”
You tremble. He could lose his lust in an instant and shoot you in the thigh now. Leave you here to bleed out.
You don’t want that. You want your life. You want him. Badly.
The word sticks to the roof of your mouth, fighting to stay, but at last you grit, “Please.”
“You sound like you don’t want it…” he murmurs, shifting the gun to tease your inner thigh with light brushes of the metal. His finger gently runs along the trigger. Your body goes taut.
You whimper, gritting your teeth. “Junnie please…please fuck me…”
“Mmm…that’s better.”
Renjun positions the gun at your entrance, his eyes finding yours again. Searching.
You nod.
He slides it inside you torturously slow. It’s an odd feeling, but not unpleasant. You’ve never taken something like this before. The unfamiliarity, the danger only makes you wetter.
And Renjun has clearly never seen anything like this before. He watches himself thrust the gun inside you shallowly, his gaze flitting from where it enters you to your face, watching your expression.
Your mouth parts on a moan when the trigger guard brushes your clit, eyes rolling back.
“God…” Renjun groans at the sight of you. His hand drifts to your hair, tangling in it. He pulls your head back, forces you further onto the pistol. You shudder, breath heavy and uneven as he fucks you deep and slow with it. His body is the only thing keeping you upright against the wall. Heat curls low in your belly, spreads through your limbs like wine.
“Fuck, Junnie. Faster.”
He obeys, like the good boy he is.
Each pass of the trigger guard over your clit as he thrusts the gun into you pushes you closer to the edge. You grab his arm to keep you grounded, your other hand gripping the wall.
“You’re so beautiful,” Renjun murmurs. “Wanna be inside you so bad.”
“Want you, too.”
“Yeah? The gun’s not enough for you, baby?”
You shake your head. No, it’s not. It’s good, but it’s not human. It’s not him.
He smirks, “You need my cock to cum, don’t you?”
All you can do is nod.
Renjun sucks a breath through his teeth, the look in his eyes teasingly condescending. “You wanted this, though…”
He thrusts the gun deeper, keeping the pace you begged him to set. His lips curve into a smirk. “I think you can cum on my gun. You’ve always been such a diligent little soldier. So obedient. Always so good at taking orders.”
The backhanded praise somehow works on you. Obedience is exactly why you and Renjun stand on opposite sides. Rival factions, rival causes. You’ve had to fight Renjun up close, skin to skin, one too many times.
Somehow it always ends with him inside you.
Renjun kisses your jaw, brings his mouth to your ear. “So cum on my gun, or I won’t fuck you with my cock. That’s an order.”
You shiver, clenching around the pistol. Slick covers it and Renjun’s hand. The fingers in your hair drop to your clit, drawing dizzying patterns over it. The orgasm that has been building steadily finally collapses over you. Long, drawn out waves of pleasure flow through you as you cry out, back arched against the wall.
“Mm what’d I say?” His voice is soft, low. “So obedient. Good girl.”
Your legs give out the moment Renjun eases the gun out of your dripping cunt, and you sink to the ground.
He follows you down, pulls you onto his lap.
“I hate that we’re doing this here,” he says, the words fizzling out on a groan as your hips graze his. “And my wrist fucking hurts, let’s never do that again.”
A laugh bursts out of you, and you rest your forehead against his. “Thanks for indulging in my sick fantasies.”
Renjun tilts his head to kiss you, softly, and it makes your heart flutter behind your ribcage. He whispers against your lips, “Yeah, well, I guess they're mine too.”
You rut against him, and he moans. He’s hard and warm and thick beneath you. Your pants are still only barely pushed down, so you decide to squirm out of them completely. Renjun’s hands find your bare thighs the moment they're available to him, running along them slowly, squeezing in intervals that leave your mind buzzing.
And him. You’ve barely seen any of him. Your fingers find the buttons of his shirt, slipping them through the holes one by one. He doesn’t stop you.
“It wasn’t loaded, by the way,” his voice cuts through the heaving of your breaths.
You push his shirt apart, run your hand over his toned stomach that twitches under your touch, down to the button of his pants. You set on removing that, too.
“What?” You ask, absentmindedly. You’re too focused on slipping the button through the hole and tugging down the zipper.
“The gun. It wasn’t loaded.”
You stop, gaze finding his. His eyes are earnest, soft, disarming as they watch you. He tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t…I don’t want us to be enemies anymore.”
You swallow hard, pulse thrumming in your ears. It would be so easy to believe him. Too easy.
“Renjun…” You narrow your eyes, trying to summon the bite in your voice. “You can’t just say things like that.”
His hand lingers near your face, hesitant but steady. “I’m saying it because it’s true.”
You scoff, though it comes out thinner than you want. “We’re supposed to hate each other. That’s the rule. That’s…safe.”
“But do you really hate me? Do you really want to keep playing it safe?” His question is quiet, fragile. Like he’s handing you his heart and waiting to see if you’ll crush it. Then, strength creeps back in, hardening the edges even as desperation clings to every word. “Nothing about us is safe. Nothing about sneaking off with me every chance you get is safe.”
Renjun takes a breath, his eyes never leaving yours, unwavering. “I can’t keep this up if you want to hold me at a distance.”
Your chest tightens. The biting reply you’ve trained yourself to prepare for in every moment of vulnerability seems to vanish. You’re left exposed, trembling. You want to push him away. You should. But instead you’re frozen, caught in his gravitational pull. Shaken by how much you don’t want to resist it.
“I hate you,” you whisper, the words sharp but crumbling at the edges.
Renjun doesn’t even flinch. His gaze stays on you, steady. He softens, lips quirking. “No, you don’t.”
“Damn you,” you hiss, though it lacks any real anger. “Damn you for making me want this.”
His fingers cup your jaw, his thumb brushing soft strokes on your cheek. “Then want it,” he murmurs, voice low, certain. “Want me.”
And for the first time, you stop fighting it.
He leans in slowly, careful, like someone approaching a stray kitten—hesitant, gentle, giving you every chance to pull away. You’ve always been like that with Renjun, you're realizing. And he’s always been so gentle, so persistent.
You don’t pull away, not this time. Your forehead brushes his, breaths mingling, time suspended.
Then his lips meet yours, tentative at first, soft and searching. It’s not the reckless heat you’ve shared before. There's more weight to it, full of the unspoken.
You care about him. You don’t want to lose this.
You answer him gently at first, savoring the novelty of it. Your fingers clutch at his open shirt, as if it’s the only thing keeping you from falling head first into this. Every restrained brush of his lips tells you he feels it too, the fear, the ache, the desire that comes with a revelation like this.
And then his restraint slips. His lips press harder, insistent. He inhales sharply, twists his head to get a better angle, and the kiss deepens. Heat blooms, melts you into him. You shove off his shirt before tangling your hands in his hair. His palms slide up and down your back, squeeze your hips, your ass, your thighs before slipping beneath the hem of your shirt.
He groans and rocks you against him, your core sliding against his thick, covered length. You gasp and he licks into your mouth, sucks on your tongue, bites your lip.
You can barely breathe, your grasp on the situation slipping with every practiced roll of his hips against yours.
Renjun flips you over, presses your legs apart with his knee, and ruts his hips against yours in a desperate grind.
“F-fuck,” he whimpers. “Let me fuck you, love, please.”
Your back arches, blood rushing south. You tug his pants down and free him, mind going blank when he strokes his cock then aligns it with your entrance.
He sinks into you slowly, and the two of you moan in tandem at the feeling. He fills you so well, is so perfect inside you, you couldn’t fathom having anyone else be with you this way.
Renjun brushes your hair away from your face. The desperation replaced for a moment with softness and warmth.
“I love you,” he murmurs.
You can’t help the tears filling your eyes, and you smile wetly. “I love you, too. Now move.”
Renjun shudders at the order, but obeys, his hips snapping, punching a sound out of you.
And he doesn’t stop, each thrust of his hips jerks you backward. His hands grip your waist, and he tugs you back onto him, thrusting his cock deeper into you. He holds you there, anchoring you to him, as his cock slides in and out of you in a steady, mind-melting rhythm.
His voice breaks on pretty little grunts and whines, his hair falling artfully in front of his eyes, his gaze fuck-drunk and hazy. He looks so fucking pretty.
“You f-feel amazing,” he pants. He pulls your shirt and bra up above your breasts. He palms one, thumb grazing your nipple, before he rolls it between his fingers and tugs.
“Renjun, god—,” you cry, scraping your nails down his back.
You fucked him so many times before, but never has it been like this. Never has it felt spiritual, like your souls are finally in alignment.
“You’re doing so good. Feel so good,” you huff between breaths.
Renjun’s cock throbs inside you, and you cry out. He grips your calves, shifting them to rest over his shoulders, and then he pushes your thighs back, testing your flexibility.
Thank god for all the training you went through to be a rebel fighter.
The angle is torturously good. He can get even deeper somehow, and his thrusts have gotten measured. Shallow. Hitting your g-spot in quick successive bursts.
Your voice cracks on a sob, his name falling out of your lips in a steady, warbled stream. Heat builds within you, begging for release.
“I-I’m close, love,” he whimpers. “Shit-mm—where…where do you want me?”
“Inside me. Junnie, please.”
“God, you—you and that nickname—are you sure?“
"Yes." You brush your finger over his nipple, tweak it just slightly. Your voice is a low, seductive rasp when you say, “Come for me, Junnie.”
He shudders, eyes rolling back, brows pinched, his mouth parted on a silent moan.
His cock swells and he cums. Hard. He muffles a long, drawn out moan in the juncture of your neck and shoulder.
You come apart just by the feeling of him filling you, legs shaking, head falling back, a whine escaping you.
His hips jerk almost involuntarily, fucking his cum deeper into you, until he’s too sensitive to keep going.
He pulls out of you with a hiss, then collapses next to you. Your pulse thuds behind your ears, body trembling.
You stare at the night sky as you come down from your high, your breaths harsh and heavy filling the quiet. The moon sinks in the distance, the faint rays of dawn peaking through the horizon.
You’re late.
You don’t really care anymore.
Laying here with Renjun seems more important than the responsibilities and expectations waiting for you back at camp.
Then you feel his hand slip into yours. His grip is warm, sure.
“I’ve always wanted to do this.”
You let out a soft laugh. “What? Hold my hand?”
“Yeah.”
The seriousness in his tone makes you fall quiet, your chest tightening.
“…yeah. Me too.”
He shifts onto his side, pretty eyes roaming your profile. His fingers trail along your cheek, feather-light. “Are you scared? About us?”
You swallow. “I’m more afraid of what they’ll do when they find out…”
His thumb brushes your skin, steady, grounding. “Whatever comes next, I’ll be there. We’ll figure it out. Together.”
A small, shaky smile pulls at your lips. “Yeah. Together.”
He kisses you—soft, slow, lingering like a promise. And when it finally breaks, you both redress in silence, sharing one last desperate kiss before slipping back into the world you’ve kept at bay.
You part ways, the taste of him still on your lips, the weight of tomorrow pressing in. But for the first time, it doesn’t feel scary.
genre: in which renjun can't hold himself back any longer and he needs to give you a quickie in one of dream's dressing rooms.
⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ smut warning contain: public sex (but they're hidden away in a dressing room so does it really count??). oral + fingering (f receiving). some mild pet names. edging. renjun is a dom in this but not a super hard one?? idk.
wc: 1.4k
a/n: the following retelling is how this drabble was created: blossom sees renjunnie's new update on ig today. she subsequently loses her mind over it all day and can't stop thinking about. she ponders over the idea of renjun going down on reader in dream's dressing room. hmmmm yeasss, that is a very yummy thought.... she begins to write.
“Jun, we shouldn’t…” You found yourself saying, breathless as your boyfriend pressed you against the mirror. He had you in exactly the kind of position he intended - locked up in one of Dream’s many dressing rooms in the stadium, hands roughly holding onto your hips. “J-Junnie…”
“Please— just let me eat you out,” he groaned against your ear, making the blood pulse in your veins a little harder. And a whole lot faster, too. “Saw you at barricade, while we were up there performing. This slutty little skirt- fuck the way your tits look in that crop top. Couldn’t stop thinking about getting my tongue on your beautiful skin.”
Nct Dream had just recently started their fourth world tour and Renjun - like the gracious, ever loving boyfriend that he was - had invited you to tag along for some of their Asian stops. And of course, never passing up the offer to spend more time with your favorite person in the entire world, and also the rest of the Dream boys, had agreed to the notion.
Which somehow landed you there in the dressing room - with Renjun getting on his knees in front of you, staring up through long, dark lashes. Sweat still glistened across the pink of his hairline, his eyes a little glossy from the red shadow the stylists had used on him that night.
“Just need to taste you— really quickly. Then I can go back out there.” He was pouting up at you. Pupils already blown a little too wide from more than just the harsh stage lights. You both knew that even if you denied him right then, he’d find a way to wiggle under your skin eventually - earning his treat somehow.
Holding your arms across your chest, you could feel a tiny smirk start to spread across your lips, “The VCR playing right now ends in… what? Two minutes?” At your words, his nimble fingers were scrambling at your waist again. “Time’s ticking, Junnie…”
In the next breath, he was picking you up and placing you atop the nearby makeup vanity. Then his knee’s were right back on the floor as he managed to wriggle your short skirt and panties off with lightning speed.
“D-Don’t care if I’m late— need… to… taste you…” He all but panted out loud. Hooking your legs around his neck, he pressed his face close to your parted thighs. Laying a smattering of kisses down the inside of either of your inner-thighs, he stared up at you with rosy cheeks. “If someone walks in on us— let them. Want everyone to know how good I can make my girl feel.”
His mouth was on your warmth after that. Hot, messy, wet. Tongue pressing against your slit, drawling up the length of you, tickling your clit that was already an aching bundle of nerves.
“Mmh— fuck, Jun,” you said in a whisper. You were trying to keep your voice as low as possible, in case some nosy bitch decided to walk by at the wrong moment. There weren’t locks on any of the dressing room doors. It was only a matter of time before a manager - or worse, a member - was sent to find one of the group’s lead vocalists. Renjun prodded you open with his tongue, unraveling your insides like a ball of silk. “Right there- fuck…”
The pink-haired demon between your legs dug his fingers a little bit deeper into the plush of your naked hips. He stared up at you with wide eyes, and you could feel the grin stretch across his face. “Taste— so fucking— good— goddamnit,” he enunciated every word with a caress of his tongue. A kiss from his plush lips.
“Three minutes people- we have three minutes!” You heard a man shout rather loudly from somewhere outside the dressing room. It sounded far off down the hallway. But close enough. The show was starting again soon.
“Babe— we have to stop,” you started to say, the words catching in your throat as soon as Renjun circled the tip of his tongue around your swollen clit. “Holy shit— Jun… you have to go on stage soon.”
At that, Renjun pushed his face away from your bare pussy, the room’s cold air hitting your slick for the first time. The dark look underneath his eyes sent a violent shiver across your spine. You only clocked the vision of his hand snaking between your legs at the last second.
He was fitting two fingers inside you soon after, rising from his spot on the ground and pressing his entire weight into you. “Just one more minute—” He muttered, nails grasping tightly to one of your hips and pulling you closer to him. Your ass was perched on the edge of the cool countertop, as you pushed back against his thrusts. The tips of his fingers reached all new depths at the angle. And as a blissful moan escaped past your lips, you threw your head back. “So pretty like this— coming undone just by my mouth and hands alone.” Your boyfriend ground out in a raspy voice.
Renjun latched his mouth onto your neck and sucked at your flesh deeply. Like he was a vampire drawling blood right from you - his lover-turned-victim. His sharp teeth would surely leave a mark. But damn, did it feel really good.
Instinctually, you were reaching out to him. Down between your legs, grabbing ahold of his flicking wrist. Helping to guide him right where it felt good. His thumb trailed up to your clit, rubbing circles there as your walls fluttered around the other three fingers he had stuffed inside you.
“P-Please—” You were begging. Begging thee Huang Renjun for something you couldn’t even get off the top of your tongue just yet. But you could feel it cresting over the horizon of your mind like a blinding wave of starlight.
Renjun scraped his canines against your jugular, before his mouth found yours and he pulled a quiet moan from your lips. You could still taste yourself of him, as he pressed his tongue against yours. “Words, princess. I need you to use them,” he said quietly, the deep timbre of his voice making sparks fly in your core.
“Lemme come, please?” You peered up at him with big eyes, the unshed, overstimulated tears teasing your waterline.
And like you asking for it - pleading for it - was enough to cut through his lustful reverie, your boyfriend was yanking himself away from you completely. “Nah— ‘cause I have a setlist to finish." His voice trailed off, as his fingers moved to his mouth and he swallowed the wet digits whole. He licked off every part of you, forcing you to watch him clean each one, legs still spread and shaking as your edged orgasm began to fade into the distance.
“B-But Junnie—“ You began to protest, but a raise of a dark eyebrow silenced you completely.
Pointing a thumb behind him, he flashed you a lazy smile. “You hear all that commotion out there? They need me right now.”
“Fuck them. I need you right now.”
Shadowed eyes scanning down the length of your pathetic form, Renjun’s gaze found yours again with that same mischievous light. “I can see that, darling. But you’ll have to wait— our fans come first.”
Rolling your eyes, you fingers made quick work to pull up your soaked panties and skirt over your hips again. “And yet, I remember you being so desperate for this pussy not even ten minutes ago.”
Renjun took ahold of your outstretched hand and helped you down from the countertop, “Careful with those words now, baby— or I might not give you anything you want later tonight.”
You pushed at his shoulder halfheartedly, just as he opened the dressing room’s door. “I fucking hate you.”
You felt a hand snake around your waist, as Renjun pulled you closer to his form. You two began to briskly walk down the florescent-lit hallway. “Yeah— but you sure don’t hate it when I got my hands on you.” He chuckled evilly at the blush that erupted across your entire face after that.
˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊fin.
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