his_flashing_eyes

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

hey remember in 2016 when clown attack panic was a thing? and 2 years later it’s managed to leave no lasting indent in the American psyche, how does that work

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

truly it was a foreshadowing of worse things to come

[summervaca99]

[rodeomeo]

[orangeannie]

Okay so

I am a musician with the Canadian armed forces, and I’ve been on contract with the Ceremonial Guard all summer. It’s a pretty cool job, playing on parliament hill, but it can be a little stressful for those of us who have family and pets at home that we haven’t seen in a while.

We have a seamstress who makes sure all of our uniforms are tailored to fit us, and she does an incredible amount of work to make us look great all summer

One day she brought a kitten to work. She had found him abandoned on the side of the road and brought him in the hopes that someone would adopt him and take him home with them at the end of their contract

We dubbed him the CG Mascot and would drop in to visit him all the time. It’s great stress relief!

Well one day we show up to see him and the seamstress has made him a little ceremonial outfit to match the rest of us. So without further ado, please enjoy this ceremonial kitten

One of the musicians has adopted him and named him Artemis. 

There are still good, sweet people in the world, and there will always be kittens. 

[noseforahtwo]

The little buttons! His little cuffs!!!

[socialistexan]

Item: *won’t scan*

Middle aged dad with a beer gut that spent more time trying to flirt with teenage employees than help his wife shop for their 4 kids:

[mulderscullyarchive]

[formlessnow-deactivated20200403]

be so completely yourself that everyone else feels safe to be themselves too

[allamericansbitch]

Bo Burnham on New Movie Eighth Grade 

[teenscoolest]

follow teenscoolest for more!

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

2013 was five years ago let that sink in

[checkmateyourprivilege-deactiva]

[doritosandavocados]

PLOT TWIST: This was a shitpost made five years ago that we brought back in 2018 because now it’s funny in a different way.

[bimulder-deactivated20250518]

ok but like shout out to all my girls with skin conditions like eczema or acne or keratosis pilaris, etc. society paints such a false picture of women as having perfectly clear and soft skin and like….that ain’t true. so many of us have bumps and scars and dryness and redness and no matter what we do it won’t go away. but yall are perfect okay like believe me i still don’t love my skin but its so Wrong that we hate ourselves so much for something so trivial. you’re beautiful okay and so is your skin i love u.

[powerburial]

getting random sharp pain in your organs is a lot like when your check engine light comes on in your car. you dont know what it means so you just ignore it and hope you dont blow up

[caribbeaangal-deactivated201610]

chai tea (tea tea)

naan bread (bread bread)

sharia law (law law)

[17-leen]

sahara desert (desert desert)

[letmebecrystalqueer]

lake tahoe (lake lake)

el camino way (the way way)

pendle hill (hill hill hill)

[torukun1]

soviet union (union union)

[ulanji]

mississippi river (big river river)

the los angeles angels (the the angels angels)

[pawpels]

hula dance (dance dance) dc comics (detective comics comics)

[some-fantastic-url-name-deactiv]

shakira (shakira)

[lavendertitties]

[devon-aoki]

seeing this from different angles makes this more important than the kennedy assassination 

[dateaboysuggestions]

Date a boy who calls you at 4 in the morning just to hear your voice

[caleb-1193]

Bitch better not

[angstbotfic]

I can’t stop laughing.