"A smol, porn write"

AO3 LonelyIntrovert; Kofi for EH con:  ko-fi.com/lonelyintrovert    

[wayhaughtficrec]

EFA Fic Challenge 2021!

Here Be the Rules:

Authors submit a Wynonna Earp fanfiction story based on the single-word prompt “Mask” by June 27th, 2021 at 11:59PM PT

1. Post stories to AO3 and include the tag “EFA Fic Challenge 2021”

2. Stories must not exceed 4000 words and a “T” Rating*.

3. Stories may not violate the EFA FAQ (visit - http://efapodcast.com/about)

EFA will pare down initial entries to sixteen finalist fics that will then enter a bracketed “vote-off”, beginning the week of July 26th, that will last over four weeks until a final winner is determined. (If we have fewer than 16 entries to start off, we will start with the next nearest even number and go from there).

The winner’s story will be recorded as an audiobook and played on an upcoming episode, PLUS the winning author will be interviewed for the show!

So what do you reckon, authors? Are you up for it??

*For the purposes of this competition, the rating limitation of ‘T’ means that there should be little to no swearing, minimal violence and references to nudity and/or sex acts and no explicit descriptions of sex acts. All “love scenes” should ‘fade to black’.

[thegood-byelook]

I still don't know what I'm wearing to the living room New Years Eve... I might not even go.

[mjalti]

listen, when i go to open my mouth & what comes out is 12 degrees of seperation from what the original topic was, u need to connect the dots bitch. think fast. i’m not gonna hold ur hand but we’re leaving now and visiting every topic along the line. wave it goodbye, don’t get hung up on it

[theprideful-deactivated20251201]

everyone who reblogged this has adhd

[pandaaamonium14]

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces? These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place. ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning? WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you? WITNESS: My name is Susan! _______________________________ ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active? WITNESS: No, I just lie there. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth? WITNESS: July 18th. ATTORNEY: What year? WITNESS: Every year. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you? WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which. ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you? WITNESS: Forty-five years. _________________________________ ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory? WITNESS: I forget.. ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot? ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning? WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? ____________________________________ ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he? WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken? WITNESS: Are you shitting me? _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time? WITNESS: Getting laid ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: She had three children , right? WITNESS: Yes. ATTORNEY: How many were boys? WITNESS: None. ATTORNEY: Were there any girls? WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney? ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated? WITNESS: By death.. ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated? WITNESS: Take a guess. ___________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual? WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female? WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male. _____________________________________ ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work. ______________________________________ ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people? WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight. _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? WITNESS: Oral… _________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time? WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished. ____________________________________________ ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample? WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question? ______________________________________ And last: ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing? WITNESS: No.. ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? WITNESS: No. ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor? WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

[space-time-void]

Best Compliment Ever

So I met an older woman at a get together and I was telling her about things I’ve done and she looks at me and says deadass:

“You’re dangerous. I like you.”

By far the best compliment ever. All you women pass it on. Make each other feel unstoppable.

[ukulelekatie]

my new OTP is blue bar and dotted line. i hope they become canon!! look at these wholesome smol precious babies, they’d be so cute together 😍😍😍

[thescarletgarden1990]

Pining for Nevada.

[ukulelekatie]

Hey do you think the author’s gonna post the next chapter any time soon? It’s been a while since the last update 🥺

[namegoesup]

the sexual tension between everyone and nevada right now

[whitepeopletwitter]

[text-mode]

The Morris worm or Internet worm of November 2, 1988 was one of the first computer worms distributed via the Internet. It was written by a student at Cornell University, Robert Tappan Morris, and launched on November 2, 1988 from MIT.

[pyronoid-d-deactivated20181217]

It’s trapped on a floppy tho this is some dark shit it has been denied its purpose forever bound to this obsolete storage

[smolmzd-deactivated20150612]

am i glad it’s in there and we’re out here

[undergroundmonorail]

people reading fantasy novels ask “why did the ancient ones seal the evil away for ten thousand years instead of just killing it” but then we go ahead and do this shit

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

We have learned nothing from every fantasy novel ever O.O

[ayellowbirds]

The best part, from the wiki article: “According to its creator, the Morris worm was not written to cause damage, but to gauge the size of the Internet.”

It was intended to do good, but the programmer made a mistake and it got out of hand, becoming viral.

[dr-archeville]

R̴͓̮͈̞̿͐͛̏̒͂͊̾ͅE͉̝͍̹̣̺̿͗͟͝L̶͖̫͇͙̬ͬ͗͌͘E̻͔̳ͪͭ̑̔̉̉̑ͣ͝͝ͅẢ̲̳̝̗̮ͩS̼̮̠̦͍͈̳̝ͮ̌ͯͯ̌͆͗͠ͅEͦ̎̊͏̪͙̤̦͈̯̱͞͠ ̱̃ͥ̆̄M̛̝̘̺̥̙̱͚ͣ̋͊̚E̪̮͍̘̟̟͚͖͐

[hotcommunist-deactivated2019032]

the year is 28AW (after worm) and the effects are still being felt 

[classicantics-deactivated201712]

oh worm?

[sword-mlm]

WHO is going to have a subtextually homoerotic swordfight with me that stems from our major unresolved sexual tension

[charlesoberonn]

The World Health Organization is going to do what?!

[cloudblack]

Children who feel they cannot engage their parents emotionally often try to strengthen their connection by playing whatever roles they believe their parents want them to. Although this may win them some fleeting approval, it doesn’t yield genuine emotional closeness. Emotionally disconnected parents don’t suddenly develop a capacity for empathy just because a child does something to please them. 

People who lacked emotional engagement in childhood, men and women alike, often can’t believe that someone would want to have a relationship with them just because of who they are. They believe that if they want closeness, they must play a role that always puts the other person first.

— Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents (2015)

[eelizabit]

[anxietyproblem]

[deathtokillian]

Some of you use punk as an excuse to be a dick, and it shows

[lestatdefender]

[fagsex]

[relatablepicturesofdoofenshmirtz]

[roberttheglitcherino]

The fact Perry looks guilty at the end is what sells it

[ladyzadia]

“What are you kidding me, it’s not just drywall that’s solid oak.” We gonna ignore the fact that Perry the Platypus just obliterated a solid oak door?

[nekophy-deactivated20221126]

GONNA REBLOG THIS JUST BECAUSE

[a-very-large-pile-of-hats]

how much does OWCA pay perry for him to be able to just pay for an oak door out of pocket like it’s nothing

[botanyshitposts]

awake at 6am thinking about that one house plant concert

[qvinnnn]

My favorite is how they pan the camera on the plants

[miggylol]

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition