Steph, without being asked, would commision a very nice fursuit for Bruce (using Bruce Wayne’s credit card). She would put it in the batcave. Then she would hide his real batsuit.
Alas, Bruce has no shame. He would wear the fursuit out on a simple patrol.
To be fair, if I was a criminal and got beat up by someone in a fursuit, I would reconsider every life choice I’ve ever made. Fursuit Batman would make Riddler consider just staying in Arkham forever.
straight white people making a romance movie: haha what if it was illegal to have sex? wait what's lawrence v texas. wait what's mclaughlin v florida. wait what's loving v virginia
As preposterous and stupid as this fucking movie's premise sounded (for a light-hearted rom-com, and not The Handmaid's Tale) I didn't want to think about it too much until the movie actually came out, and then I could see if it was somehow more intelligent and subversive than the trailer let on, but guess what, it's even worse!
If this is what it takes to get a rom-com greenlit these days, maybe we should just let them die.
Sex workers are thrown under the bus, shown only as thieves who fleece men in the woods at night, while queer sexuality is relegated to a few scenes with Allie’s roommate (a woefully underused Quintessa Swindell) and a handful of pans past blurry same-sex extras making out in the background. “This night is for the straights,” Swindell’s character says to Allie, before saying that queer people have worked around straight laws for centuries.
This is supposed to be a nod to queer resilience, but largely comes off as straightwashing the history of anti-LGBTQ legislation in this country that led towards raids of queer clubs and incarceration of queer people in the not-too-distant past (let alone the current barrage of anti-Trans and LGBTQ legislation currently in the works and on the books). It’s also ignorant of the long and fraught fight for the normalization of age-of-consent laws, which, by the way, did not happen in all states in this very country until 2003. Yes, that’s not even thirty years ago.
By the end, our intrepid protagonists have not had sex with anyone, because this is a film about Romance with a Capital R (and I guess sex is not part of romance!) and for that very same reason they ultimately embrace the fascist state of things. They aren’t the only ones who refuse to fight back. No one in this cursed film is protesting this mandate beyond “repeal” signs in various windows and some creative graffiti (...)
(...) If we are supposed to believe that the film is making some subversive statement about the state of sex and bodily autonomy in this country, it cannot end with its leads embracing their chains. That’s just warmed-over conservatism running around in sheep’s clothing.
yeah i wrote this post having only seen the trailer, but jesus christ. was this movie a psyop LMAO??
also, for the unaware: mclaughlin v. florida was a 1964 supreme court case that struck down a florida anti-miscegenation law that criminalized cohabitation (and thus, as implied, sex) between white people and people of color of opposite genders. anti-miscegenation laws made marriage and sexual relationships between white people and people of color, most often specifically black people, a FELONY in several states in the united states up until the 1950s and 1960s. though it was already struck down by the supreme court, the state of alabama didn't repeal their law until 2000! there were THREE ATTEMPTS at codifying anti-miscegenation into the us constitution!
like yes, the issue here is partially straight white people's ignorance on the united states's history of homophobic policy, but it's also really important to recognize that arguably the majority of the issue here is straight white people's ignorance of the united states's history of codifying eugenics and antiblack racism.
the premise could have been interesting as a serious dystopian story, especially taking that history into account, but it wasn't written that way at all. this movie should never have been a fucking romcom making light of the violence the united states (and many other countries) has enacted on any kinds of sexual relationships it deems undesirable.
The thing about fictional media is that the author controls literally everything about it.
I also think comedy is possible even in terrible situations. You can make a rom-com set in a dystopian world, I think it could be done. It would be hard to balance those things, but possible. There are comedies that work with darker premises and tones (Trainspotting, Goodfellas)
What sucks about this movie is the premise of a dystopian world where people are legally prohibited from having sex is interesting. Okay, cool! You could do a lot in that world, what a fun playground to be in.
Imagine:
- an asexual couple who deal with false accusations of sexual relationships due to race or queer status. This is a legal drama.
- sexy underground orgy clubs, like a prohibition-style speakeasy. You could probably even make this one into a comedy- the rule around sex is completely ignored by vast parts of the population, and sort of makes everything worse.
- a single woman desperately wants to have a bio-kid, and tries to get herself pregnant by any means necessary. You could play this as a very odd dark comedy, but you’d have to play the themes carefully. In fact, the “one night a year” thing might be less of a point. It’s more about single motherhood in a world that doesn’t have a place for such a thing.
- shift the premise a bit- one night a year for “non socially acceptable sex”, which covers everything from queer sex, to group sex, to interracial sex, to kink. It’s a comedy about trying to get a ridiculous law repealed, but having a lot of trouble because it targets so many minorities at the same time, many of which refuse to work together in an “if I have to suffer so do you” sort of way. It pokes fun at the problems with the legal system, how making a change is difficult even if a majority of people think it’s good.
- a story of a young adult wanting to explore their sexuality before getting married. The comedy is on family and institutional pressure for marriage, on surprising turns in sexual exploration, and delves into the darker aspects of where this story would logically go. (Pressured under the time crunch, the main character agrees to something they wouldn’t normally agree to, and has a bad time.) it’s very “coming of age story” mixed with a dystopia that highlights real problems when it comes to sex. Ideally, it’s just sex with a partner that’s illegal so we can play with fantasy vs reality. Main character is mostly familiar with sex from porn, and quickly realizes real sex doesn’t work like that.
- it’s a married couple who have bad sexual chemistry, and use their one night a year to go wild with other partners. It’s a comedy about an unexpectedly wholesome relationship: it’s set up that the audience thinks it’s a crazy cheating scandal, only to realize it’s a consensual game on both sides.
I watched the Bluminek video on the Odyssey bow scene, and found myself fascinated by the implications of the hidden difficulties- the foreign bow, the strange target, the way the arrow wobbles all making things difficult. As he put it, “the problem with this (scene) in the film is that nobody explains any of this”.
Fascinating! As someone who’s very film-minded, I’m thinking to myself “okay, so how would I film it?”
(From the start, I wouldn’t film a Greek action epic with that short of a focal length. Reduce the appeture, bro, this is a historical epic not a drama! Put the background in focus, you’re already paying for it!)
And given that Nolan made a ton of departures from the original Odyssey story, I’m calling it fair game for me to do so as well.
So, as I rework the entire Telemachus and Penelope plot, here’s how I would do it:::
Near the beginning of the film, there’s a scene of ~11 yr old Telemachus looking at his father’s bow. Penelope notices him, and explains his father’s challenge. With her doing voice over, we see a scene of past Odysseus smirking as a man fails the challenge. Odysseus picks up his bow and shoots it through the axes like it’s no big deal, to the delight of the crowd. Penelope kisses him passionately.
Young Telemachus is starry-eyed as her story ends. He wants to try, but Penelope won’t even let him touch the bow. She explains that once Odysseus gets back, Telemachus can train with his father. Telemachus insists that he wants to learn now, but Penelope is sure he’ll get back soon, and makes young Telemachus promise to wait.
Cut to the beginning of the voyage as we follow Odysseus on his way home.
We stay with Odysseus for a while- up until the big storm where everyone but Odysseus dies.
In the storm, I want it to be clear that Odysseus fully believe’s he’s not going to make it. He asks Hermes to send word of his death to Penelope, asks her to apologize for him that he couldn’t make it home. He’s consumed by the storm.
I want everyone in the theater who isn’t familiar with the Odyssey to think Odysseus is dead.
Telemachus is 14 now. We move through his story. Telemachus is searching for his father, trying to figure out what happened. He also starts training in archery behind his mother’s back.
His mother recieves word of Odysseus’s ship being destroyed from Hermes. She knows he’s the god of tricksters, and refuses to believe her husband is dead.
Suitors arrive. Telemachus trains. Years go by, until Telemachus is 21 and his mother is being forced to marry soon.
We see Telemachus train for the 12 axes thing, failing the shot over and over on his own bow.
(By seeing Telemachus grow up, we have a better understanding of the tragedy involved in just how much time Odysseus has lost. Make me feel it viscerally. Make me suffer)
Penelope explains that once her loom trick is discovered, she’s going to need to set up a task to pick a suitor. She’s confident Odysseus will return and complete the challenge.
Telemachus doubts it, and realizes he has to complete the challenge to stop his mother from getting married to a cruel man (just word the challenge rules specifically so marriage to Penelope is implied, but not explicitly stated.)
Telemachus realizes he needs to use the bow. He should be strong enough now- but he can’t even string it (he doesn’t know how)
Odysseus returns in disguise, and shows his son how to use his bow. Odysseus reveals himself to his family, but knows he has to fight for her by completing the challenge.
Twelve axes time! We watch the suitors fail over and over, some getting closer than others.
Odysseus shows up, draws his bow, and misses.
Maybe it’s due to an injury he obtained earlier in the film. Maybe it’s because he lost muscle on his voyage home, and can no longer even draw it. The point is, so long away from home has changed him. (WOW, so thematic!!!)
Luckily Telemachus completes the challenge. Telemachus and Odysseus proceed to beat the suitors together. Penelope is held at knifepoint, “if you shoot me, you’ll kill her” situation, but Penelope brought her own hidden knives, because only the suitors were restricted on what weapons they could bring.
Tim Drake’s parents are Owls, the elite members of Gotham’s secret society. It’s difficult being parents while also running an entire city from the shadows, though the Drakes do their best to make it work.
They take their young son to the circus. Though such common activities are beneath them, Tim desperately wanted to go.
While there, Tim becomes infatuated with the young performer Dick Grayson. Tim is so excited about his new friend, he’s not even that traumatized after watching those two acrobats fall to their deaths!
The Drakes realize they need to give Tim a bodyguard while they’re out on their missions.
Tim, who has no idea what his parents actually do, wakes up one morning to his mother introducing him to Tim’s new bodyguard: a dark haired acrobat named Talon.
Tim is horrified to see what’s been done to Dick Grayson.
Simon: no need to navagate a maze of walls, no tight passages to squeeze down, this map automatically shows me where I am…
Grace: yeah, driving in tight spaces isn’t fun.
Simon: I can just LOOK with my eyes and see where I’m at!
Grace: wait a second
Simon: there’s not a bunch of blood everywhere
Grace: um
Simon: and there’s no giant monsters trying to eat me out here! Man, things are great.
Grace: when you said you had prior experience with piloting, I thought you meant flying planes for fun. But apparently that isn’t the case?
Rocky: GIANT MONSTERS NORMAL ON EARTH, QUESTION?
Grace: no, giant monsters aren’t normal. My new hypothesis is that nothing about Simon is normal, and I will continue having a mental breakdown every time we have a conversation.
dick makes people mentally ill. dick havers, dick wannabes and dick lovers are all insane. it's like toxoplasmosis, you have compulsive need to defend and push and worship dicks all the time and spead your dick mania to everywhere you go.
this seems rational and grounded in empirical evidence
I haven’t even watched Project Hail Mary yet, and I’m already obsessed with the lil characters.
I made the executive decision that I’d read the book first (after purchasing the book on impulse), and that I’d read that book as soon as I’m done with the book I’m currently reading… long story short it’s gonna be a month before I actually watch that movie.
I’ve already read some fanfic tho. I have no impulse control.
Watched pmh recently and briefly thought about crocheting Rocky and making him weighted, but then I watched iron lung and now I want to make a weighted blood eel
(Appreciates the beauty of your art for 0.2 seconds before being cursed with new ideas.)
Something about the colors of this reminds me of the show Game Changer, and isn’t that just a terrible fic concept right there!
Sam Reich, with the Eldrich powers that he has, summons Simon Ironlung, Rocky, and Grace into the studio for an episode of Game Changer.
The gimmick of this episode is making Simon and Grace get together romantically, and having Rocky third wheel the whole time.
Simon is fresh from the blood ocean. The man is actively coated in blood the whole time. He’s terrified at first, fairly certain that he’s in the afterlife, and playing along so that he isn’t immediately put back into the blood ocean.
Grace is confused. The situation is weird, that’s for sure. He goes along with it, mostly because Rocky is having the best time.
Rocky has heard of Sam Reich before, a host of a popular game show. Rocky is so happy to be here, on the show.
