I had a conversation with Rich, the owner of Crown Victoria Bar in Williamsburg on Monday evening. He expressed his sincere condolences for how poorly his staff handled the situation. He claims that the employees had a hearing wherein they watched back surveillance footage (a claim that is in conflict with their official statement btw), and that the mostly female staff and he decided that the security company they hired for the bar AND the manager in question should be immediately terminated. He assured me that the entire ordeal made him sick. That he doesnāt want to run a bar where things like that can happen. That he wants to do better.Ā
Iāve taken a day to sit with how I feel about the decision, and these are my thoughts in no particular order:
+ Iām incredibly grateful to the masses rallying against violence and misogyny. I am humbled by the fact that the community is taking a stand and will not sit back and watch this sort of violence happen passively. I cry thinking of the women who arenāt as lucky as me. Who donāt have an audience or social media presence that can go to bat for them. Ask yourself: If this situation had happened the same way, but it wasnāt someone with a verified Twitter account or 100k followers on YouTube, would the staff have been fired? Would the owner have been moved to action? Without the swarm of comments and negative ratings, would anything have changed? What would become of THAT woman? Who is protecting HER? Thatās why I had to be vocal. I am vocal for every woman who has been dehumanized in their hour of need and nothing was done about it. Together weāve sent a very clear message: our neighborhood is BETTER than this. Itās 2015, and we wonāt tolerate bullying abusive behavior from those hired to protect. Youād better believe other bars in the area have taken notice, and are making changes. We shouldnāt apologize or feel guilty for that.
+ You absolutely SHOULD NOT be a security guard if you harbor ill-will and bias against women (especially in BARSāplaces where women are more likely to be mistreated). You absolutely SHOULD NOT be a security guard if the very thought of getting mace in your eye instills grave fear in your heart. You absolutely SHOULD NOT be a security guard if your number one priority isnāt diffusing situations and helping those in need. I am lucky that so many people have been rational and understood that this entire situation could have been avoided had the empathetic and humane choice been made on behalf of the bar. We can ask a million lawyers what responsibility a bar has to those on its sidewalkābut thereās no gray area when discussing a bruised and bloodied person requesting ice and a call to the police and instead they are belittled, intimidated, and denied assistance.
+ From a PR standpoint, thereās no reason this apology should not be updated to reflect our discussion and posted publicly on Crown Victoriaās Facebook page. Jezebel posed the question,Ā āCan you unexplode a social media bomb?ā To which I say: Yes. Rich and the staff of Crown Vic can absolutely come back from this: Admit youāre wrong as publicly as possibleānot in a link on your unpopular Twitter page; That is just putting the onus on the survivor to share your remorse. You arenāt owed that. Ask your community for FORGIVENESS, and vow to create programs and sensitivity trainings for all employees. Make it a point to not just use the neighborhood for financial gain, but actually MAKE IT BETTER. Itās not my responsibility to help them win back the public, but I just gave them 3 really good ideas about where to start.Ā
+ To the women still employed by Crown Victoria: I am sorry that you donāt feel safe working at the bar because of this situation. I feel doubly sorry that because Crown Vic hasnāt posted the apology in a more-public way, misogynist assholes are vowing to come to your bar in a misguided show of support:
^That^ is far more frightening than people calling and shaming you for the situation. There are men basically threatening that if you do anything that annoys them while they are in your bar, they are going to punch you in the face. Of course Iād be worried about continuing my employment there! If you truly agree with the decision to remove those toxic employees that caused this, encourage Crown Victoria Bar to reiterate that sentiment on Facebook and on the homepage of their website. I am currently fielding death threats, and sick, pathetic, small men telling me how I probably did deserve to be punched in the face. These same men continue to say,Ā āWe donāt know the whole story.ā Realize that itās not my responsibility to tell your employerās side of the story. Theyāve had every opportunity to be transparent about this.Ā As sad as I am for you, Iām honestly much sadder for me and my injured friend. As bad as I feel about your careers, I have faith that you will be fine. Crown Vic is not known for their stellar cocktails or creating superstar bartendersāand there are loads and loads of bars in NYC that are hiring. You are not helpless. You will find other employment if Crown Victoria doesnāt turn this around. I feel no guilt or responsibility if they choose not to.
+ To the men who continue to harass me: I donāt care. You arenāt owed an explanation from me. You arenāt owed a comment thread to harass me further. I will do everything within my legal power to reveal your identities, because this is not an anonymous forum and frankly, you should be ashamed of yourselves. Your information should be easily Google-able. If you donāt want to take that risk, you might want to leave well-enough alone. Disqus says I canāt reveal your IP addresses in the comment thread. I have your IP addresses in the email alerts, and have screen grabs of all of it. Personally, Iād advise against testing me. Doxing isnāt bullying when youāre too cowardly to use your name as youāre going out of your way to harass a woman whoās been abused. Best believe I am armed within my legal rights and Iām not going to live a day in fear because youāre immature, unevolved, and out of control. Youāre the kind of people with manifestos and unchecked inferiority complexes. Itās scary and frankly, pitiful.
+ As for the man who punched me: That investigation is underway with the NYPD and I cannot comment about it.Ā It obviously means a greater deal to me that this monster is caught and locked up than that we continue to discuss this bar. There was indeed a police report filed the night of the incident in front of Crown Victoria Bar. There is a good chance we will catch this guy based on his ejection from Free Hold bar and the surveillance footage on the corner and from Crown Vic. I believe the police have more incentive to bring this man to justice because this story has picked up so much local attention. So no, I have no regrets.