everyone lives/bilbo stays in erebor au and it's emotionally constipated thorin pulling balin aside and saying (utterly serious) “i think the sickness is back” camera pans to balin mentally crashing out interrogating him about the gold and gems etc etc and then thorin shaking his head profusely
thorin: no no, it's the burglar
balin: ... not this again
thorin: no. no, i don't want to kill him i want to... want to...
and then him making these weird constipated facial expressions and squeezing motions with his hands. balin shakes his head and tells him to visit oin. dramatic cut to the next day while balin is having his afternoon tea with bilbo and he realises, and feels quite stupid, that thorin went and fell arse over kettle for bilbo.
Bonus points if Bilbo also thinks he is a little ill because every time he is with Thorin he starts to sweat and stutter, almost passing out one time when Thorin got too close.









