My main headcanon for why Gandalf just randomly disappears throughout the quest is that he sobered up and needed to go back to his supplier to get his BIGGEST hit of that Old Toby
I love comparing book Thorin and to movie Thorin especially when they first meet Bilbo and book Thorin lands flat on his face being crushed by Bifur, Bofur and Bombur, pulls out a beautiful harp that he’s been carrying the whole time to the shire and even after they leave the shire, gives compliments to Bilbo about being a generous host and talks about the hair on his feet and movie Thorin just saunters in looking like a sexy mysterious man in the night ready to whisk away poor Bilbo but his brain wasn’t working quick enough to keep up with the charade and insults Bilbo instead.
And I love both of them and would love it if they both met and thought the other version was a complete moron.
#theyre both idiots and i love them#both thorins fighting over bilbo fic when??#fic when??#when?????
When indeed? Please: it'd be so funny!
Book Thorin going on long speeches and poetical phrases complimenting Bilbo; while Film Thorin broods and stares angrily at the charade
Film Thorin who's like showering Bilbo in gifts and presents and does stuff for him he thinks Bilbo'd like; meanwhile Book Thorin is like “I wish I'd thought of that... hang on mithril. Top that you brooding bastard."
And because I am a language nerd:
Film Thorin would talk as he does in the films, obviously.
Book Thorin on the other hand pronounces all his Rs and uvular trills (there's a note about Dwarvish Rs being uvular trills in the Appendices) and speaks otherwise in RP. He says his own name also with a uvualr trill for the R and the stress on the "Thor-" bit instead of the "-in" bit.
Book Thorin is smooth, suave, but in managing to turn every one of Bilbo's sentences around and into a chat-up line trips over. See: he was so busy being a smooth talker that he did not see the saddle of the door.
Film Thorin just guffaws from the corner as Book Thorin picks himself off the floor.
Vote for who you want but I want a weird little dwarf man who wants to feed everyone to win. He is small good tour guide and I may or may not be tired of men in pants winning. Let a free legged man win!
MORE IMPORTANTLY, let this sexy unit of a calorie maker share food with all the other contestants because they all so skinny! He is a dad character whose oblivious and takes food seriously!
SENSHI FOR 2026! GIVE HIM THE CREDIT HE DESERVES FOR KEEPING SO MANY IDIOTS ALIVE JUST BY BEING A RESOURCEFUL CHUNK OF A MAN!
3 reasons alone is enough!
1. Willing to ragebait to make bread!
2. Believes mealtime is important and would wait for you with food, he won't until you eat with him!
3. Gets more 'pantyshots' than anyone in his respective anime!
Mind you, below this is a form of him as an elf for all the delicate fem boy lovers out there!
I love the other contestants too but Senshi would be a perfect unit to add to the weirdos and isnt that what Tumblr is all about, collecting weirdos and passion together?!
cultural misunderstandings fic idea/headcanons/word dump for bagginshield bc they have consumed my brain
!!!cw for swearing!!!
I find it HILARIOUS when no one else is down bad for Bilbo like Thorin is. combine that with cultural misunderstandings and you have the perfect rom com
and its not like Bilbo is some dwarven beauty who is handsome by hobbit standards but gorgeous by dwarf standards. it’s just that, while the rest of the company see Bilbo as just Some Guy, not particularly outstanding in the looks department but definitely not unattractive either—Thorin is simply built different
for some reason Thorin sees Bilbo, with his honey colored hair and his upturned nose and his fiery attitude, and promptly loses his grip on reality.
That’s right: Thorin “I’ll be single for the rest of my life, I already have heirs” Oakenshield’s ability to feel romantic attraction suddenly kicks into gear after 195 years of lying dormant because this is the most beautiful creature he’s ever laid eyes on
And applying this to the scene where they first meet is hilarious because what do you MEAN Thorin was already clocking Bilbo as a threat to his quest because of his very apparent beauty
forget about canon, Thorin actually didn’t like Bilbo at first because he thought the super duper attractive boyfriend shaped creature popping up out of nowhere was just another case of his horrible Durin bad luck acting up again. like okay Gandalf what kind of game are you playing at, inviting this clearly soft and incredibly fair hobbit along on our dangerous quest. we can’t afford distractions right now
like imagine they’re a few months into the quest. Bilbo is sitting on a rock, combing his hair out in the sunlight, already having taken off his coat and vest because it’s hot as hell outside. he’s left in his cotton undershirt, which is partially see through because of a combination of light and sweat
none of the other dwarves give a shit, they’re perfectly used to nudity and bathing near others, and Bilbo is by far the most modest and self-conscious of them when it comes to showing skin
But of course, from Thorin’s pov it’s like watching a beautiful forest nymph bathe in the river. mythical creature meant to seduce you type beat
in his eyes Bilbo is bathing in the glow of the sunset, combing through strands of molten gold while exposing a scandalous amount of skin (cough his collarbone cough). AND Thorin can see the tan of his skin through his shirt. and he immediately thinks that this has to be the work of purposeful seduction. Bilbo wants to ensnare a dwarf for a husband by the end of the journey and he’s being painfully obvious about it. how dare he do this in front of people that aren’t Thorin
which is consequently why Thorin is hiding behind a rock as he watches, trying to make sure no one else is seeing what he’s seeing and scaring off anyone that comes close with a well timed glare. and he’s also trying not to come off as a creep because he’s been staring for a bit too long, and the last thing he wants is to scare Bilbo off
but then Bilbo starts humming a jaunty little tune and braiding his hair, as it’s gotten long over the course of the journey and he’s picked up some useful things from the company when it comes to grooming.
Thorin thinks he might actually pass out because Bilbo looks like he just popped out of a dwarven wet dream, singing and looking all shiny n shit
by the end of the night, Thorin’s sitting there with his head in his hands thinking “I must destroy him and his majestic allure. or make him my wife. I can’t believe those are my ONLY two options”
and would you believe it, their dynamic continues like that for the whole journey.
Dwalin and Balin are the first ones to pick up on Thorin’s plight, being his best and oldest friends—but they both have very, very different reactions to it.
Balin doesn’t indulge Thorin because he knows that Bilbo is a hobbit, and a very sheltered one at that. he realizes that their burglar most likely isn’t aware of the inherent intimacy of touching a dwarf’s hair, or braiding, or anything Bilbo has offered to do during their quest. in fact, he’s absolutely sure that absolutely none of the courting rituals Bilbo has performed were intentional, and were in fact blindly stumbled into.
Dwalin, however, is totally supportive of Thorin’s bullshit because Dwalin is the exact opposite of his brother when it comes to subtlety, and he is also physically unable to consider any conceptual alternative to whatever is plainly happening in front of him. he trusts his eyes and his eyes are telling him that Bilbo Baggins is a skilled temptress with designs on his king
Thorin, being delusional: Dwalin I’m being seduced and I think I’m losing
Dwalin, an enabler: I’ve never seen such blatant, shameless flirting in my life. brother he REALLY wants you
Thorin: FUCKING RIGHT?
Balin, staring in confusion because Bilbo literally just took a moment to pluck some leaves out of Thorin’s hair: No????
Balin tries—he really tries—to nudge Thorin in the right direction, to get his king to realize that Bilbo, in fact, is not doing all these borderline courting rituals on purpose. then again, he is an old dwarf and the whole situation is extremely entertaining, and he’s always had a mischievous streak in him. which turns him into yet another enabler—and at the end of the day, he doesn’t correct Thorin on his assumptions. sometimes he actively tries to make them worse, just for the hell of it, because if anyone deserves to have a little fun messing around with Thorin Oakenshield it’s Balin
Balin, teasing: ohohoho, wasn’t it nice of Bilbo to help Bofur rinse the dirt out of his clothes?
Thorin, clearly devastated: this is unacceptable
Thorin: he is doing it on purpose to invoke my jealously. I am ashamed to say it has worked
Balin:….
Thorin: he is a s i r e n
Balin:…….
Thorin: and I’m about to jump into the ocean
and that’s how it is until they reach Erebor. Thorin is constantly like “Hmm yes. Bilbo is a temptation, another obstacle meant to stray me from the path I must take” and everybody else is like what the actual FUCK are you talking about. are we seeing the same person. all of this melodramatic resistance to temptation happens in Thorin’s mind, and only because he can’t admit that he has a crush like a normal person.
Thorin can’t stop acting like a sailor lost at sea, doomed to be devoured by the beautiful creature he covets, and after a few months of watching that every day the entire company is just. completely done
and of course bad boy bachelor Bilbo Baggins, resident single handsome rich man in the Shire, notices the staring. obviously he asks Thorin what his problem is and Thorin panics and mutters something about Bilbo “using his looks to his advantage” and stalks off in a huff. Bilbo is very surprised to learn he’s that attractive by dwarf standards. because he doesn’t know that he’s not and that Thorin is just a special case. fuck secretive dwarves customs am I right?
the absolute worst part of this situation is that Bilbo is actually flirting and has been trying to seduce Thorin for months, but specifically by hobbit standards. all of his efforts have absolutely no effect because what hobbits consider courting is just normal, friendly dwarf behavior. It’s the stuff he doesn’t mean to do that drives Thorin up the wall.
Balin, however, being the member of the company with more than one brain cell, is the only one who sees this. and he’s very tired
Balin: Bilbo. Are you flirting with Thorin
Bilbo, flushing: well, I did feed him a strawberry from my plate today. I hope he doesn’t mind me being so forward….
Meanwhile, Dwalin and Thorin talking at the other side of the camp:
Thorin: Our burglar offered to wash my hair earlier this morning. I’ve never been pursued like this in all my life.
Dwalin: >:0……oh so he WANTS YOU wants you
Thorin: THATS EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT
anyways I’m going insane with ideas for these two. 🆘 please
(ALSO if anyone writes a fic/makes art for this. TAG ME. RIGHT NEOW)
Thorin’s duties as King under the Mountain require him to read hundreds of boring inventory ledgers regarding iron ore, stone shipments, and grain taxes. To help him get through the exhausting work, Bilbo starts leaving tiny, hidden doodles and notes in the margins of the official books before they reach the King’s desk. Bilbo draws little fat Hobbits, pipes with smoke rings, or leaves of ivy, accompanied by short phrases in his neat handwriting. Thorin’s ministers are often baffled as to why the gruff, stern King suddenly smiles and grows incredibly soft-spoken while reviewing a dry report on plumbing logistics
This happens and eventually the ministers cop on to it and think it's a bit funny (but you don't tell a King or even worse tell his consort that you think they're both saps)
Anyway eventually they pass on. Fíli's made King and the old records are put in the archives. Some monarchs later, perhaps a little less than a thousand years later, a historian researching the early days of the restored Erebor in the reign of King Thorin 'Oakensheild' stumbles on these notes in the records. At first this new rediscovery flies around the historian's cirlces, and soon makes its way to being a foot-note in text-books.
Then maybe one researcher another hundred years down the line makes a book compiling and annotaing and adding commentary and context to Bilbo's marginalia — most of it is soppy romantic lines, and some innudeno too — but some comment on their friends and family, of other rulers and monarchs the leaders that they deal with, others still comment on issues of the time, the most interesting comment on differences of culture, language, and biology between Dwarves and Hobbits. Some are illustrations varying from the abusrd; to charicatures of other rulers and leaders, or of Thorin himself, or the other members of the Company, or of Bilbo's family back home [the ugliest charicature by far is Lobelia's one], some illustrate plants and Hobbit-holes, and landscapes from the Shire to Erebor itself. These become facinating insights into the early days of the restoration of Erebor, and of the reign of King Thorin 'Oakensheild,' and of the key figures of the time.
Thorin gains a new epithet: 'The Romantic King.' He, and more specifically his realtionship to his consort as documented in oh so many scribbles, becomes teenagers' favourite topic in history class and the subject of a museum and of books; many say reading about the marginalia and who wrote it and why and how it was rediscovered is what launched their interest in the past and in archiving. Bilbo and Thorin become beloved and remebered more than any other monarch and their consort in all the rest of the history of that area of the North. Long, long after they and all belonging to them are dead and cannot be there to see (or be embarressed) by it.
For centuries, the academic world viewed the Restoration of Erebor as a period of stark, rigid military strategy. The discovery of Bilbo’s marginalia fundamentally flips this narrative. Historians eventually realize that the ink used for the doodles was mixed with rare silver dust meaning Thorin didn't just look at them; he spent nights applying a clear, protective resin over Bilbo’s scribbles to preserve them from fading. This changes the entire field of Dwarven study. Academics coin the term "The Co-Authored Reign," proving that while Thorin held the royal scepter, Bilbo’s quiet, gentle perspective framed almost every domestic policy of the early Fourth Age.
Bilbo's botanical sketches in the margins particularly his attempts to draw Shire ivy adapting to cold mountain stone become a blueprint for modern landscaping. Centuries later, teenagers visiting the Erebor Museum don't just look at axes; they buy replicas of Thorin’s royal ledger with Bilbo’s drawings printed on the covers. A massive cultural trend emerges where young Dwarves court each other not by forging weapons, but by secretly slipping drawings of acorns and pipes into each other's work notebooks. Thorin, once feared as a grim warrior, becomes the universal symbol of a fiercely protective, soft-hearted devotion
I might remake this comic someday but PLEASE don’t expect more updates for this, and stop asking for updates about this comic because the more you ask the less motivated I’ll be to continue this
I'm gonna be honest, I have never played DND before so this campaign is my introduction to it...
The twin stars rise and fall upon the vast sky of the planet, despite the cycles it'd been through, the bustling life that this planet holds seem to retain its resilience no matter the time that had past.
Through it's Golden period of Era 1, where technological advancement were unlike any others. Era 2 wherein, mortals are reminded that no man shall ever be of equal to the divine. And the current Era 3, where the story takes place, and cities and civilizations alike work together to uncover the remains of the past.
You ever make a story and get so into it that you search it on Google only to end up with nothing because you lowkeyiunely are the creator (not in this case, I'm only a player o7) and so in order to get content YOU have to be the one to produce the content...
Anyways! I suppose introductions are in order so... Greetings! My name is Lai, I am the notetaker and I am playing as the Wizard of the Party!
HWJWJWJWJWJWJ SIM, YEAH, I'M KINDA LOA PILLED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE OF RAI, SEND HELP, SHE GOT ME BECAUSE OF THE YAOI. SHE FUCKING SHOOK THE METAPHORICAL CAT KIBBLE AT ME EXCEPT THE KIBBLE AND CAT TREATS WERE ALL GRUMLEY X BOOKER SHAPED. SIM HELP ME
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
kianamaiart
theartofmadeline
gracieabrams
vaporwave
2087
