From Womb To Tomb, Sweetheart

[lupismaris]

Do it scared but please don't do it hungry. Please don't do it dehydrated. It's gonna make it so much scarier. Please.

[ryan-sometimes]

Working an office job will truly make you have the wildest enemies, bc why is my nemesis rn a woman I’ve never met and who exclusively haunts me by sending diabolical emails, and also a specific guy who left my company before I even worked here and made the system so fuckass that it ruined procedures for like a year

[ryan-sometimes]

Yesterday my nemesis (woman I’ve never met and whose face I’ve never seen) sent my office an email so rude, basically saying we had fucked up every project she ever ordered from us, one of the worst emails I’ve ever read in my life.

And it pissed me off so badly that I spent the ENTIRE WORK DAY today compiling evidence from every project my team has ever done for her, pulling past emails she’d sent us, putting together an entire case proving that she had been the problem all along. That she got projects mixed up, that she’d made requests that were nonsensical, literally everything you could possibly imagine. Screenshots of emails, reports we’d submitted, EVERYTHING.

This woman in particular has been terrorizing my team for years, her name is almost a slur in my office, I had simply had ENOUGH of her.

I put all of this evidence together and sent it to all of my bosses at 4:30pm. Then I took a long break to eat a sweet treat and drink some tea.

After my break, my bosses all called in an emergency meeting with me and they said they read my report and fucking loved it. And I sat on a teams call with my boss’ boss as she wrote my nemesis the scathing email I had always fantasized about sending, using the evidence I’d compiled, and hit send.

It was the most satisfying workday I’ve had since I got hired.

[winnie-wine]

[creativitycache]

@ryan-sometimes you’ve lived the DREAM. The VENGEANCE ARC. The movie version of the office we all have in our heads.

Please, I must know, what became of this?

[dughole]

i wish he would come down from heaven & kill every instagram fitness liquid diet ozempic green juice low calorie food blogger

[butterflypeaflowertea]

ever since i was a little girl i knew i was doomed to take things too seriously and think about them forever

[loverlylight]

Happy please PLEASE let it happen today it would be so fitting and hilarious and it would be great if we could have some good news for once day

[halosnothere]

well that can't be good

[kuttithevangu]

Being a calm, gentle, non-reactive person is really hard work, which is probably why many people are none of these things. Personally I think it’s worth it but sometimes one does want to just roll around on the floor wailing at the top of one’s lungs

[dozydawn]

nimble, a border collie-papillon mix, wins the 12” class in the 2024 masters agility championship. the first time a mixed breed has won at westminster ever.

[ch40s0w1]

context explaining why the announcer is screaming, this is supposed to take a high level competitive agility dog 40 seconds

[sandersstudies]

This video makes me cry every time it’s on my dash and I can’t even iterate why.

Like the dog doesn’t even know it’s a competition and she’s made history. She(?) just is happy and knows she made her owner happy too.

[solely-ashes]

The face of a being with only a wind storm between their ears, moments before unleashing it unto the world

[severeprincesheep]

always a pleasure to see this girl on my dashboard

[smallmight]

[spongebob-closeups]

[ninjagofan26]

YOU CAN ONLY REBLOG THIS ONCE A YEAR

[siowdreams]

ive had this queued for exactly one year

[punky-rooster]

[fiendir]

[decepticonsensual]

Not to be all "the children have forgotten the sacred texts!" but I just saw someone refer to a ship between two people who are good friends in canon as a crackship.

Hon. No. Crackship doesn't just mean "not canon". It's difficult to imagine two people who spend significant canon time together as a crackship. Crackship is when you write Galactus getting fucked by Tony the Tiger.

[decepticonsensual]

Gotta say, my absolute favourite notes on this so far have been the number of people congratulating Tony on his rebound from the Grinch.

[yviisxo]

rest in peace to this diva

[97642]

[coupdgrace]

Very into the idea of passionate gay sex lately... hmmm

[monster1994]

happy june everybody i hope you get fucked and/or sucked this month

[kazokuhouou]

what if we don't wanna be?

[monster1994]

then i hope for peace

[northernolddragon]

[wolfsong-the-bloody-beast]

[officerhaughtstuff]

You’ve heard of the Roaring 20s........

now get ready for the Screaming 20s - coming to a decade near you in 2020

[heterokatedison]

is it too early or can we start screaming now

[heterokatedison]

in retrospect perhaps we should have started sooner

[jorolle]

this post is the equivalent of a newspaper from the day of the outbreak being blown past by the wind after you wake up in a post apocalyptic world

[mysharona1987]