Evil Scientist

Accepted into the Evil Side in the July 2025 Evil Chain vs Real Chain (Linked Universe I proudly wear my star, ⭐️, as a medal of dishonor, awarded by the-most-evil-four o7

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

jeez. sorry you didn't like it.

[ruthyless-deactivated20140511]

when i was younger i had a really bad fear of danny devito when i was going to sleep so my older brother gave me a watch that he set to like 8 hours ahead so that it was always daytime on the watch when i was asleep and he told me it would confuse danny devito and he would think it was daytime and get scared of the sun and leave me alon

[tardis-mind-palace]

Your brother is the best

[elrondbaggins]

Who the fuck changed this from vampires to Danny devito

[aliceinpunderland-blog]

the real question is why I was completely ready to accept that this person had a debilitating childhood fear of Danny Devito

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[lao--tzu]

Asking my husband for Jetko ideas is always hilarious. I asked, "I need something angsty. What do you think should happen?"

And he immediately said, "Make Zuko cheat on Jet with The Boulder 🪨."

I'm not sure whether to be pissed off or impressed because why the fuck would you say that 😭

Anyway, he's banished to the basement of bad ideas again.

[awesomebutunpractical]

"He wouldn't say that" has a beautiful cousin, and her name is "That's Not What This Story is About".

[winnie-wine]

"He wouldn't say that", "they wouldn't come out of that unharmed" and "that doesn't act like that" are all the children of "that's not what this story is about" I think bc the story is bigger than the isolated incidents

[moveslikekeithrichards]

the role of the person in the passenger seat is not only navigator but secretary as well. you have to type up the drivers messages to random ladies on facebook about cbd cream & google whether that billy joel song was the theme song for that show or not

[moveslikekeithrichards]

you also have to provide a henchmans disdainful scowl at whoever the driver is flipping off in the target parking lot

[the-apocrypha]

other assorted roles may include

retrieval team for objects in the backseat

custodian of the parking garage tickets

"All clear my way"

en-route dining concierge

announcing "Horses!" when there are horses

[lynx-girl]

Don't forget the Tommy Gun

[help-my-ocs-breached-containmen]

You should never forget the Tommy Gun

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[raycatzdraws]

💥ANTAGONISM💥

[solo-walker]

"Yeah I just had, like, a LOT of matches in my pockets and I'm really good at climbing lampposts at inhumane speeds dw about it."

[toastyglow]

headstrong and foolhardy medieval king: never shall I bend the knee!!!

physical therapist: okay well if you keep lifting with your back you are just going to get hurt again your majesty

[megparsec]

Baa baa backstreets, have you any boys

[winnie-wine]

Bye bye backstreets?

[helenvaughans]

📢📢📢

[dailycatsblog]

[weaselknievel]

first officer: sir! the klingon ship has dropped it's cloak, but it's not opening fire! ... sir they're hailing us! this could be an opportunity to open a dialogue, this could be where this war ends! do you want to begin negotiations?

me: mmm, unfortunately commander I'm an introvert and my social battery is drained, fire a full spread of photon torpedoes, maximum yield

[agnesmontague]

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

[stellarskyes]

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

[agnesmontague]

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out

[she-ramen]

the she-ra reboot makes this video relevant again which means we are in the best timeline

[she-ramen]

the kids these days dont know this masterpiece…they will learn

[ooppo]

When I was in highschool back in 2018, all the graduating seniors got a poll to fill out for various preferences on our graduation. The only thing I actually remember from it, though, was the different options for what song would be played at the ceremony. When I saw halfway down the list that "All Star" by Smashmouth was an option, I knew that whatever I chose would be a pointless vote (this was peak Shrek meme era). So of course I went with the herd and chose the Shrek song. When graduation rolled around, everyone was giggling about it, waiting for it to be played as we all walked down to grab our diplomas or whatever. However, that is not what occurred. God, they could have not done it worse. I shit you not, I absolutely fucking shit you not when I say this. I swear on my mother's and first born's life that they brought out the poor, poor fucking choir kids to fucking acapella (badly because that choir teacher had a hard on for opera) All Star. Oh my god. I still don't even know what to say

[northstareclipse]

There's a recurring online tendency to aestheticize consensus itself. The imagined future village is full of emotionally compatible people who enjoy communal gardening, conflict resolution circles, acoustic folk music, mutual aid potlucks, and repairing bicycles together at sunset. Which is nice for the people who genuinely enjoy that lifestyle. But plenty of humans are solitary, prickly, obsessive, urban, nocturnal, sensory-seeking, technologically attached, contrarian, novelty-seeking, private, or just plain difficult. Those people do not evaporate after the revolution. They do not get Left Behind while you are Raptured into the Utopia. They become your neighbors.

[teaboot]

Names that are normal for old people but weird when you're a baby:

Bartholomew

Dolores

Norman

Harold

Magnolia

Names that are normal for babies but weird when you're old:

Maddison

Tanner

Skylar

Mckenzie

Logan

Names that are normal for old people and normal for babies:

Elizabeth

Mary

Michael

Finnegan

Peter

Names that are weird when you're a baby and weird when you're old:

Radish

Kerosene

Australopithecus

Anthill

Hegemony

Names that are weird when you're normal:

Balthazar

Romulus

Clandestia

Persephone

Kremulon

Names that are normal when you're weird:

Al