there’s a path you don’t know about yet

finding myself

[breastforce]

“Particularly prone to serious procrastination problems are children who grew up with unusually high expectations placed on them…or else they exhibited exceptional talents early on, and thereafter “average” performances were met with concern and suspicion from parents and teachers.”

Holy SHIT

[t-ycho]

WELL THEN

[appropriately-inappropriate]

Yep.

They actually tested me for a learning disability in high school because I was consistently failing math.

They discovered that I actually scored in the 80th percentile in that sort of learning.

Problem was, in every other subject, I was in the 99.8th percentile.

I had never learned how to study because I never needed to—and then, when something proved to be even the slightest bit challenging, my brain went

“LOL nope this is impossible abort”

Meanwhile, this entire time I’m scraping by in subjects like English. The assignments I did turn in, I’d score top marks—but I’d avoid turning in projects I didn’t think were “good” enough.

Essentially, my brain had two settings: “100%” or “0%”.

This sort of Baby Genius shit makes kids and adolescents neurotic and self-destructive.

[cassiebones]

We learned about this in Child Development. And we learned to reward hard work and not good job. Like don’t say to a child, “oh you are so smart.” Say “Oh did worked so hard.” Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Be proud of the child, not the achievement.

[thalassarche]

Decades of research have been done on this by Dr. Carol Dweck. When the emphasis is placed on effort (a factor people can control) rather than talent (an innate skill), it’s a lot easier to see mistakes as a learning opportunity rather than something you just won’t ever be good at. And kids who were encouraged by effort were also more willing to take on more challenging work and considered it a lot more fun, while the kids who were praised for their intelligence were reluctant to put themselves in a situation where they might lose that identifier as a “smart kid” by making mistakes, so they preferred to do work they were confident they could master. Also, the kids praised for effort wanted to compare their results to kids who got higher scores, to see where they made their mistakes, while those praised for intelligence wanted to compare their results to kids who scored lower, to reassure themselves.

Not only does this set up “smart” students for a lot of trouble when they enter college and start being regularly challenged, the effects last long beyond that. It can be very hard for the “you’re so smart!” kids to unlearn as they become adults and struggle with even common adult things, and are afraid to ask for help because of that lesson they learned from misguided praise that they are supposed to be smart and supposed to know the answers. 

[kyanve]

…Honestly +1 here.  It’s very well researched and documented and yeah.  Making the emphasis on “You succeed and we are proud of you b/c you are SMART as an intrinsic quality!” makes failure/setbacks/difficulty -TERRIFYING- b/c if you’re “smart” it doesn’t happen and if you fail that means you’re not smart and that’s what everyone’s drilled into you as your main point of worth.

And the rates of anxiety disorders among “gifted student” kids are kinda horrifying.    

[swampgallows]

This is why “you’re so smart” means absolutely nothing to me any more. It’s used as punishment as often as it’s used as praise. 

[deactivating-this-account-deact]

me: god I suck at math I need help

adults: don’t say that!! you’re smart!!!!!

me: no, I– just let me be stupid please I am begging you it is so frustrating having everyone think I’m a genius because I memorized a few equations please please please understand that I have terrible work habits and I need you guys to acknowledge that and help me–

adults: uh ok ur smart tho lol bye

[dyke-nosaur]

I’m currently two maths above my grade level (calc AB as a junior) and fuckin! No one allows me to say that math is HARD! And I JUST got diagnosed with ADHD because no one fucking listened when I said I had focus problems because “you’re smart, it’s fine”! Now I don’t know how to study! Or work hard! Or turn in assignments done on time but aren’t “perfect”!

[velcroheartstrings]

“The very first day we met, you planted a seed in my heart which has since grown to be an almighty oak tree and sometimes when I stand back and look at you in all your glory, my heart genuinely aches at your beauty. The strangest part is I didn’t go looking for a love this deep rooted, it was fate that led me directly to you; I run my hands over the bark one day and there were your initials.”

— and my love for you continues to grow every single day.

[teenagecrush]

[teenagecrush]

[yearnfulsuggestion]

being alone was fine until i met you. now it’s unbearable 

[jonathonharker]

guys lmao I went back to watch some old law and order svu episodes and there’s this one scene where a girl claims her alibi is she went to see the phantom of the opera and to confirm whether or not she’s telling the truth the detective goes, ‘oh yeah I love phantom of the opera it’s so sad when the guy goes to prison for stealing bread’ and the girl AGREES and later he’s telling his partner ‘yeah she’s lying there’s no bread in phantom’

[plainclothes2025]

[catchymemes]

[countrytoads]

catfish simultaneously look like they possess infinite knowledge of the universe and like they just have the mii theme playing in their head nonstop

[countrytoads]

you see what i mean

[furbearingbrick]

in Shinto mythology, there’s a catfish named Nazamu who’s so big he causes earthquakes when he swims! These woodblocks of the demigod perfectly capture a catfish’s silly, silly face:

[fathomking-deactivated20230501]

like literally when catherine earnshaw said “i wish i were a girl again, half-savage and hardy and free, and laughing at injuries, not maddening under them; why am i so changed? why does my blood rush into a hell of tumult at a few words? im sure i should be myself were I once among the heather on those hills.”

[parkchanwoohoo]

I can’t stand… book culture. One time someone got me a canvas bag that was like “Books + Tea = Perfect Day” and I drove to goodwill with that shit so fast

[parkchanwoohoo]

Most books suck. Most books are goddamn awful or utterly extraneous. Don’t get me wrong, I think we’re deeply lucky to live in a world where most books can vanish without us losing anything culturally or intellectually, rather than a world where books are so scarce that a single person might own like twelve in a lifetime. But still. Books are easy to aestheticize as Magical Portals of Adventure and Whimsy if you only read maybe two genres

[girlintheglassboxx]

AH! Words for that whole… situation.

I work at a public library and book culture there is nauseating. Not really among the other employees (though we’ve had a few come through over the years), but the patrons?

Oh god the patrons. Most of the people who check out books are just regular people who like reading. I even have patrons who L O V E to read, and who spend a majority of their free time reading or discussing books, they’re part of multiple book clubs, they always bring a big bag and leave with it full. They aren’t the Book Culture People.

Book Culture People loudly announce that they’re so surprised that there are children who know what books are!

They act affronted when I mention our ebook service, and scoff at the idea that anyone could enjoy reading from a screen instead of off the page!

They are personally offended that publishers hire actors to read the books for audio versions, because they feel that “audio books cheapen the experience of reading” and “audio books are cheating”!

They have to proclaim their fetish for ‘real’ books, whether through tacky tote bags, weird quote filled pinterest boards and social media posts, or awkwardly shoehorning unimpressive humblebrags about all the classics that they’re reading into unrelated conversations with tired library assistants.

They’re terrible, and I resent them because I fear being grouped with them by the nature of my field.

[parkchanwoohoo]

I was literally just talking about a friend whose classmate in her library science program was bragging because she didn’t use any digital resources for her final paper because she “respected books too much.” It’s such a bizarre attitude for anyone, much less an aspiring librarian, to have

I’ve also been approached by people while I read in public who are like “Oh my GOSH it’s so GOOD to see other people who READ nowadays!! Honestly I just have NO hope for our generation” and it’s like, first of all if you’re a reader you should know the last thing anyone wants is to be interrupted by a stranger for unnecessary conversation, and second please shut up holy crap

[girlintheglassboxx]

Oh god, I’ve heard that one before.

Hating accessible books and shunning technology is basically the antithesis of modern librarianship.

I don’t get the ebook hate, ebooks are literally just books. You cite ebooks the same way, and depending on the format, you don’t even say they’re ebooks.

It’s a performative, self important approach to something that I genuinely enjoy, and I think it bothers me more than, say, fandom antics, just because it’s so much more common. People get offended when I tell them I don’t read a lot in my down time, that I genuinely prefer audio books, that I’ll skip their recommendations because I don’t share their tastes.

It’s so… boring.

[eruvadhril]

“People don’t reeeeead nowadays, everyone spends all their time looking at their phoooooones”

My dude

The thing that they are looking at

Is words made of text

[4gifs]

[raserus]

LIL BABBY

U CANT SCARE THE OCEAN

GO LAY DOWN

[amiseeingyourcolourormine]

IT LOOKS LIKE TOOTHLESS

[bladeoffenris]

I like to believe that all the dragons in the world were magically cursed and turned into cats. But cats have never forgotten where they come from, hence the attitude.

[tanoraqui]

I nearly didn’t reblog this but the above comment makes more sense than anything I’ve ever heard.

[mzminola]

…that’s…that’s actually a story my mom used to tell me when I was little? That a dragon showed up at someone’s cottage so they gave it milk. And the dragon enjoyed the milk, so it kept coming back and got smaller and softer and purry-er until eventually it wasn’t a dragon anymore, it was a cat, and that’s where cats came from and why we keep giving them milk.

She might have gotten the story from Ursula K. Le Guin, or I have confused it with a different dragon story.

[ladyswearalot]

That’s also why cats tend to hoard their toys behind the couch!

[personalprofundity]

Actually the story is even older. Written by a woman named Edith Nesbit, first published in 1899, it is called “The Dragon Tamers”. It predates Leguin and other fantasy biggies like Lewis and Tolkien.

Nesbit actually can be credited with being one of the first authors that began to shift myths and legends to more fantasy-like stories (fantasy as a genre how we know it, wasn’t around then because it was just part of literature, especially British literature). In fact, many scholars who study fantasy literature and children’s literature believe that, since her children’s stories were so popular with children in England, the stories and their content prompted Tolkien (the first to coin fantasy as its own genre in his essay “On Fairy Stories”) to take up the stories of dragons and elves and fairies as they’d have been children when she was writing.

Tolkien was born in 1892. He would have been 7 when “The Dragon Tamers” was first published. Edith Nesbit did a LOT for modernizing myths, legends, and lore as a children’s author, maybe more than we will ever know.

[planeoftheeclectic]

http://www.online-literature.com/edith-nesbit/book-of-dragons/6/

[sewickedthread]

Let’s hear it for Edith Nesbit.

[chasekip]

Meltan sounds exactly what it would be like if you were an inanimate object with no mouth forced the scream from the very soul of your being

[charlesoberonn]

[pokemon-personalities]

oh????

OHHHH

[dekoi2501post]

[tokai-teio]

“is this an animation? the bounciness of it seems odd, and the seaweed is pretty flexible for rea- oh yeah, animation.”

[marxistbarbie-deactivated202109]

a handful of french billionaires have pledged 600+ million euros for Notre Dame in less than 12 hours. let that put into perspective how easily billionaires could end world hunger, poverty, lack of access to healthcare/clean water/education but choose not to. 600+ million in twelve hours from just 3 people

[yourlovelymonstrosity]

Saw this on Facebook. Reposting for the PSA.

[jimstares]

As I’m always a skeptic and had never heard of this, I had to look up more information. Very true, and here are excellent sources if you want to learn more - 1 and 2

[538pm-deactivated20240107]

“you don’t SEEM depressed 🤔”