This is the introduction to my blog! Sooo- if you're not into the snz kink, I kindly ask you to gtfo 🙂↕️✨
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Hellooo, my name is Diane, but you can just call me Di ✨
She/her pronouns (I don't mind if you use he/him either)
I'm 18, I'm quite friendly and chatty!! I really enjoy talking about my personal life, or about the kink itself! (I don't feel very comfortable if someone much older than me talks to me, sorry :(()
On my blog, you'll mostly see drawings of my OCs, and wav's every now and then :3
Like!1!1
Sneezes (Regardless of gender!! messy = better)
SNZ SCENARIO!! OMG THOSE ARE THE BEST FR!!
Holdbacks!
Sniffles!
Dislike!1!1
- Stifling (Unless it's messy/wet)
- Messy sneezes by mouth (I'm kind of disgusted by saliva, snot >>> saliva)
- Talkie scenarios (Unless they're part of the scenario itself, if it's just for venting, then absolutely not)
- NSFW scenarios (They simply make me uncomfortable-)
- NOSE BLOW UGGHHH NOOO
A few things abt me! (Snz kink related)
★ I started watching snz kink stuff when I was transitioning from elementary to high school, I didn't know there were other people like me back then (I used to watch snz videos on YouTube lol)
★ When I was a child, I used to obsessively rewatch episodes or movies where the characters got sick or even just sneezed (my parents thought I was autistic-)
★ ALLERGIC TO NOTHING, Yes, it's awful to have the kink and not be allergic to anything- My immune system is also very strong, so I don't get sick that often, so any wav you see on my blog is totally induced :p
Other things abt me!! (Snz kink not related)
★ I have very childish tastes and idc what other people think about that!!! Yes! I love Sonic the hedgehog! Yes! I like Dandy's World! (Just entering that fandom-), I've always preferred cartoons than live-action series :3
★ My native language is Spanish! But I enjoy kink more when I speak it in English or when I'm in the English-speaking part of the community! I know English, but I mostly use a translator to avoiding mistakes!
★ My favorite hobbies is drawing! I have other accounts that are not snz related ((IF YOU FIND IT, IT IS FORBIDDEN TO MENTION THIS ACCOUNT!!))
★ I'M A HUGE FAN OF CHINESE'S LEGENDS, especially (and mostly) JTTW!! I also love Greek mythology!! My favorite stories are: The Titanomachy, Circe, Achilles and Patroclus and The Odyssey (EPIC the musical Fan!!!)
★ My birthday is August 4th!!!
MY OC'S
#Elliot : 19-year-old Canadian boy, Student of marine biology, Mild asthma and severe allergies! His partner is Vesper (he has the kink)
#Vesper : 21-year-old Colombian girl living in USA, former engineering student, Loving and understanding with Elliot's allergies (she has the kink)
#Di sneezes : All my wavs will be there!
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If you have any questions about me or my OCs (or questions for my OCs) the mailbox is open 😺
AN: 4300 words of pure contagion/mess filth and inner dialogue. Elanos modern au and there’s some weird semi sentient fey virus that makes you stupid (lowering wisdom score). And makes it so the patient intentionally becomes more contagious. plays into his whole obedient dog complex big time. featuring @quosterking 's forthwind near the end!!
This one is weird. ofc cw contagion and mess heavy.
At A Hex's Mercy
When was the last time he’d woken up sick? Felt like forever ago, because he couldn’t remember ever feeling this uncomfortable in his face and his throat. A raw stinging paired with a thick, dense wall of pressure that made his nose itch.
Elanos sat up with a blink and lazily swung his feet off to the side of the bed. Yup. Definitely sick. He swallowed. No fever yet, though; that’s good.
Looking at his phone stung his eyes — barely 8am — and he tried to take a deep breath to wake up fully. The breath got about as ‘deep’ as his throat before he had to cough.
“Hh—IiSSCHhh!!…iih’SCHIIEeww!!”
And sneeze. Woah. He blinked and raised a hand to cup under his chin. That was aggressive, more than he had time to register, and he realized too late his nose was about to run onto his shirt. He sat still for a bit, eyes bleary, waiting for his brain to catch up.
It was probably just a cold, if that was anything to go off of. The drippy, itchy, obnoxious kind that he could probably hide if he went the whole day without speaking, if that was an option.
His nose finally dripped, and he stood, going for the tissue box on his desk on the opposite side of the room with a mutter.
————
“I can’t come in. I’m sick. Likely contagious.”*
He had to call out of work, as much as it pained him. Illnesses never lasted too long for him, he’d give it about a day or so; if it lasted till tomorrow, he’d have to call out again, and that would just eat away at him until he became sick with anxiety instead. His head was starting to hurt from the pressure, and between texting his absence and getting washed up, he’d gone through about a dozen tissues already. He sorely dabbed another to his nose, sniffling while waiting for the response.
It wasn’t so bad, just uncomfortable. His eyes teared up a lot when he was sick, it’d been that way for as long as he can remember, and he’d explained too many times that he wasn’t crying, it was just a cold. Pursing his lips, he sniffled, and sighed.
His nose was itching more than it should. The thought crossed his mind when he gave up on using the tissue to rub his nose and opted to knuckle at it instead. What did that mean, more than it ‘should’? Like it was genuinely making his face itch from malice…a glance in the mirror would indicate it was effective, if that’s what was intended. He looked all red in the face, his eyes were puffy, and coughing brought both tears and mucus, like he was leaking from every orifice…
“What is wrong with mbe…?” He muttered to himself. In another world, his reflection would've answered.
The urge to go about his day was strong, despite the discomfort. Maybe it was his desperation for structure and order, for someone else to hold the leash instead of himself. He felt compelled to get dressed, eat breakfast, and go on a walk. Exercise was good for illness, so he didn’t need to justify it; hitting the gym may be overkill, but it didn’t mean he couldn’t go out anyway. He could stock up on tissues, run an errand. Was there something he had to get while he was out? His head felt foggy as he tried to recall who might need him to do a run to the corner store.
His phone buzzed, indicating he would be taking the day off — if he wasn’t in top condition, he would be more a liability than anything in his line of work. Blowing his nose one more time, he finally discarded the tissue.
Getting dressed for comfort meant athleisure, along with a simple black mask he usually wore for the purposes of keeping in the background, out of the way. But now, it felt like a scratchy, humid muzzle, withholding him. He pinched it over the bridge of his nose with another sniffle. The pressure stung the nerves.
“Snf…hhF-“
His finger looped over the edge of his mask.
“HHIh!IiYSSChhhiiuhww!!”
It only got pulled down halfway over his mouth before a sneeze violently expelled moisture over the papery surface.
“…huh…” He remarked after a breath. Itchy…his nose was running and soaking the edge of the mask that now pushed up against his reddened lips. A messy wet sniffle calmed his nerves a little, and he pulled the mask back up.
———
There was a pharmacy not far from where he lived. Far enough to warrant a ride, but not unwalkable; such were the series of thoughts he had when he stepped out onto the street and stared at the empty driveway.
His car…he’d lent it the day before for a few friends running an art show. It took a moment to remember. His shoulders slouched.
There was a moderate breeze, so he could walk, it was only about twenty minutes. Or he could take the bus, get rid of some spare change in his pocket that he was going to get himself some tea with. Elanos scratched behind his ear and sniffled again. He could ponder it on the way. Surely, by the time he was halfway, he could bite the bullet and finish the rest of the journey. It was a bit cool, but his forehead felt sweaty…maybe he should jog, cut the time off by a bit. He shrugged off his top layer and tied it around his waist, leaving a black tee underneath.
There was a crosswalk he approached, where two people were chatting, water bottles in hand, one with a dog. Likely on a run since it was still the morning. He stood idly by, twisting the crumpled bit of tissue in his pocket.
You need to sneeze, he heard his inner voice say. You should. Not sure why, but the thought was enough to provoke a small itch. He rubbed his nose, which was warm, even with the paper barrier.
“HhHNgKK’sshh!!”
That sounded…kinda thick. He coughed, rattling up what had dripped down to his throat. The chatter briefly paused.
That somehow did it. It was a sneeze that demanded attention, and attention it got; loud, disruptive, visuals were quite disgusting, he'd imagine. A sneeze like that he’d normally keep private.
His face burned as he tried to sniffle up the mess that got caught under the mask, pressing his wrist against the outside and feeling that dreaded spot of moisture. The other two at the crosswalk had turned after offering a quick blessing, which Elanos was much too preoccupied to deal with. He finally pulled the mask down to dab the crumpled, ratty tissue to his lip.
The moment the light changed, the others resumed their run, and one more sneeze likely encouraged them to pick up speed. When he blinked away the wetness in his eyes, he saw spots of slightly darkened pavement. Was his nose running that much? Usually he wasn’t so…drippy. A touch to the tip of his nose revealed a stray thread of mess had clung on, overwhelming the volume of the tissue that was barely holding itself together.
It’s fine, he told himself, just cover that up for now. Nobody has to see. You can buy more when you get to the pharmacy.
The mask went up again with a sniff and a deep furrow of his brows.
———
His nose was itching the whole way there. When he arrived, he’d spent a solid half minute just sneezing in the aisle, garnering the attention of at least three other customers who turned to camp out in the next aisle until he was done. Dramatic, head-thrown, hands free on account of the mask. It left him a bleary-eyed and stuffy mess.
He made the mistake of rubbing his nose with the mask still on, and the sound got every hair on the back of his neck standing upright. Yuck.
Focus, he told himself. You’re here to run errands, not to announce yourself.
He dragged himself to the selection of cold medication. There were so many colours swimming before his eyes, from labels to price tags to fine print that blurred with how teary he was. The flavour of medication he didn’t care much for, but the strength of each would be important. He didn’t like to nap…
This one had tablets — he picked it up to read the label — so it was preferable. Came with drowsiness though. The other options of comparable strength were liquid, and he didn’t care for that. His nose was starting to itch again, and with frustration, he pulled the mask down so the paper would stop rubbing against his skin. Fresh air hit his sweaty face as he tried to breathe in, only to spur on a ragged cough.
He grabbed another bottle. This one worked as cough syrup. Should that be necessary? Why was it so expensive? He put that one back with a frown.
Elanos glanced down the aisle to see a few long boxes — masks, that he could replace this one with. Without a second thought, he pulled it off his face and noisily blew his nose into it. He waited for a moment, focusing on the immediate heaviness of the paper before shoving it into his pocket. The first breath brought on cold air, the second became a bit more liquidy.
“Hhahh…ugh, no-“
A plea for his own body to listen, to give him a break. No such luck. He didn’t have anything to contain-
“Hh!hAH! AadtTSSChhhoo!!…hhSSCHhhhhww!!”
His sleeve was perfectly fine. Why did he sneeze into his hands? He only noticed when he pulled away and felt coolness against the wet spots on his cheek and palms. Clasping his hands back onto his face would prove futile, and he did his best to at least tidy his backhand on his collar. That would definitely be going on the laundry when he got back but for now…
He needed to wash his hands.
Or.
Well.
If he was going to ask for a pharmacist, he may as well get what he needed. He kept one palm to his nose and then reached for one of the many boxes of cold medication and a small package of three tissue boxes to tuck under his arm. What else, what else…he saved money from not taking the bus so he could spend it now. Maybe like a…a cold coffee-? He didn’t really like sweet drinks, and this shouldn’t be too good for his throat, but it would be refreshing…
He clumsily grabbed a canned coffee from the shelf and wandered back to the counter where he could finally ask.
“D-do you hhaAVe— have a washroom?”
“Oh— yes but-“ The pharmacist looked to the side with hesitance as he spilled all his stuff onto the counter, “I’ll…I can put in the code for you. It’s just around this corner.”
“Thagks…”
———
When he had finally washed off his face and his hands, he looked in the mirror. This cold was progressing sort of quickly. He looked paler than when he had left. His nose was this drippy, red splotch on the centre of his face. When he coughed, it had resonance. He needed to get home. Get home, and eat something…
In the sanctity of the bathroom, he could blow his nose and cough as much as he needed before going back out; the thought of people waiting for him to finish up didn’t cross his mind until he stepped out and saw a bored shopper on their phone, standing just outside.
The pharmacist had his stuff put to the side, and he paid with a quiet thanks. They seemed in a hurry to get him out anyway.
He was about to start making his way home when a buzz came from his pocket. Who would call this early…? Ah. Forthwind? He coughed hard a few times before answering.
“Hello?” Yikes. His voice was shot. He cleared his throat and was about to try again when his friend answered.
“Oh good! Glad you’re awake! Look, are you busy tonight? I had dinner plans that fell through, but I still want to try that new bar that opened up. I know you mentioned you wanted to try their stuff too, so if you aren’t doing anything, would you want to come with me?”
“I…I’m not busy-“ He answered mindlessly. There was a pause. You're not busy, but you’re sick. What are you doing? Going out drinking! You should be in bed. As if to reprimand him, he coughed once more.
“Woah. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine-“ You are not.
“You sound a little hoarse,” He’s right.
“It’s just a cold.” Just?
“A cold! Maybe you should stay in…you doing okay on your own?”
“Yeah,” He sucked in a breath. Why are you still talking? You need to go home and eat and sleep, “Heading back. It’s not so bad…I think I can nap it off.”
“Heading back? Why are you out? You can call me if you needed to get something you know.”
“It’s not far. I had to go to the pharmacy—“ He felt his throat itching again. Oh, gods, it was all in his chest. Coughing became an entire ordeal, a fit. The sounds were unpleasant to say the least and he didn’t even have a mask on to muffle it this time, “I’mb heading back. I need to rest. Getting sort of…sweaty. And hungry.”
“Hungry?” The word was like a code, a Pavlovian bell to an eager dog, “Why don’t I bring something over?”
“You don’t ha—have tuhH…hh!hHEH! EtTSCHhhihww!! HHPTsschhyihwww!!…snnff…dhh-dont worry about it…HHYsschhhihwww! Hh…sorry-“
“Well I can’t leave you hanging after all that. I’ll let you go now though, you should be home as soon as possible, goodness. Bless you. I’ll be over in an hour, if you can hold on that long.”
“Ghhuh—I said-“
“I know what you said. But you sound awful and I don’t like the thought of you cooking on your own.”
“Hhah—ATTSCHHihhww!! Ffh…ohh, udh- can I call you back?”
“Please do.”
He hung up and hurriedly tore open the new box of tissues. Streaks of mess were all over his shirt. He felt his face burning. What was this that he had? He never had a cold this violent in his whole life! Especially considering he was the well-mannered type, this was full-on supernatural…
He awkwardly mopped up the nastiness on his shirt before blowing his nose into the wad of tissues. This was becoming hazardous…
———
He was a runner, so going the distance home now that he had all his errands was less of a walk and more of a sudden blacked-out skip in time. One minute he was heading out of the parking lot, the next he was wheezing and coughing his way to the front door, arms and palms clammy from where he had gripped his shopping bags.
His head was burning and his fingers were cold…if it was a sickness that progressed this quickly, he may have underestimated it. Just a tad. A bad cold or a flu, he figured; best to get something in his stomach immediately so he could lie down.
When his key finally gave way, he hurried inside and first opened the package of pills. His hands were a little shaky, that’s probably not good. Two now, then in eight hours, two more. Down the hatch. Now he was running on a timer; if the drowsiness hit too early he’d be done for.
He pulled off his shirt to throw in the wash, scurrying into a warmer pyjama top, shorts and socks. And a hefty blanket he could bring with him.
The kitchen was stocked with all sorts of fresh ingredients but he could only focus on the cans of soup he kept for emergencies. Perhaps…tomato. And he could manage a grilled cheese, couldn’t he? It took like ten minutes to make at most.
That was stirring up all sorts of chaos in his sinuses, in his chest. It tickled to breathe, but it aches. He felt like shit.
The admission was more damning than the symptoms. Usually a paragon of health, he supposed an actual illness would hit harder to make up for it. A trembling hand reached for the cold metal handle of the fridge.
The first thought that hit him was that *he was cold.* His body was running on fumes to the point it just manifested his bodily reactions as sentient thought, then? Elanos felt the cold air of the refrigerator hitting his knees and he suddenly felt chills. Genuine chills, as if from a fever. Was he feverish?
Shut the fridge, his mind ordered. He folded his hands into his blanket and wrapped it tighter around himself.
“HhIIH!!itssSshHhwww!! Snnnfk-!”
Elanos exhaled.
He was really, really leaking. Coughing brought up mucous. Sneezing did too, obviously. But breathing? He felt like he was starting to melt from the inside.
A garbled groan escaped as he tried to contain everything in his hands. Spray misted the reflective surface of his fridge. Why was he sneezing so much?! He went to rinse his hands and sneezed on the tap; when he went to dry his hands and had to catch another two into paper towel.
Some cruel joke! Only striking when most inopportune.
His phone was ringing and he struggled to not sneeze at that for some reason. His head turned and the resulting mess landed in the blanket instead and clung to his face in pale threads.
“Hhuh?”
“Elanos? You said you’d call back? Wanted to make sure everything is alright, you know.”
“Y-Yeah…”
There was silence as he sniffled.
“…and is it?”
“Whad?”
“Is everything alright? You sound horrible…no offence.”
“I don’t need cold medication, I need a god damn exorcism…” He said with a shudder, “Not alright. Far frohHm—! From…hhIH!!-hnGkssHHHihwww!! Hahh…”
“You’re breathing kind of heavy…” A spike in urgency from Forthwind’s voice made his skin flesh up with goosebumps, “Where are you?”
“Kitchen…getting really chilly…”
“I’m coming over soon. Hang in there, alright?”
“Uhh huh…”
“Can you unlock the door for me?”
“…yeah…”
“Okay. Don’t do anything, just stay put.”
He nodded, though nobody could see. Unlock the door, he’d been asked…alright. He could do that. It wasn’t so far…
He shakily got down the stairs, blanket dragging in the foyer as he approached. Door…unlocked. Then what? Stay put? He slumped down against the wall. Oh, his head was hurting, it was swimming. Everything was starting to feel too uncomfortable for his own body. He wanted to be close to someone so he wouldn’t be left running mad as he fended this off. Wincing, he slouched further on a spot between the foyer and the living room that had a nice cool hardwood finish. He put his palm down.
———
Elanos woke up to someone holding his shoulders. He was on the ground. Drooling. Did he seriously just take a nap on the floor? Forthwind was over him with a mask and gloves.
“You scared me! I thought you had fainted! You were only sleeping, right?” The other aasimar exhaled with such relief, for a moment, Elanos felt well again.
“Sleeping…really drowsy…”
The medication. Had…he taken the right dose? Oh gods, did he double up? Swallowing four pills would be impressive but he could do it. What was he supposed to be doing now? He wiped the saliva off his jaw.
“Come on- help me help you get up. I can’t shoulder your entire weight right now, I’m carrying things.”
He steadied himself on the wall and wiped his mouth and nose with his hand.
“Y-you really shouldn’t have-“ He said with a croak, “iiHdt—it’s! HhISSCHhhuhww!! AdtTSHHyyhwww!! Sorry-! HhH! AH!aptssHHIhhwww!! Sorry-“
“My goodness,” The wings on either side of Forthwind’s head fanned out in surprise, “You sounded a little delirious over the phone and now I see why…”
“I did?”
“Just a tad.”
Elanos scrunched up his face. He thought he sounded just fine, thank you. He sniffled wetly and raised his arm.
“Ah-! I have tissues. You don’t need to use your sleeve.”
“O-oh…hhaah—“
“Sorry, Elanos, I’m just going to ask that you cover your mouth-“
“—atssHHHihhww!!”
A relatively small sneeze compared to before. But covered. By request. Elanos figured that if Forthwind was being so candid, he probably had the same divine health. Maybe his immune system would stand a better chance.
“I’m going to make you something to eat. I’m no priest but it’s as close to an exorcism as we can get, just like you asked.”
“Uh huh…”
“You can sit over here- no, not on the floor. Counter. Sit there and I’ll be done in no time. I prepared most of the ingredients at home.”
He had to put his head down. The second he was seated, the cool countertop tile called for him and he pressed his feverish face to it to continue his sleep. Now that there were sounds of someone else milling about, he found himself in a much more languid state.
———
“Your pupils are huge…what’s the matter here?”
He was roused by someone beside him setting down a bowl of something delicious. The steam was enticing.
“It’s hot!…I said it’s hot! Elanos!”
Such a sharp tone. He froze. Forthwind sighed.
“Wait for it to cool a little. Or blow on it. What has gotten into you?”
He let his friend tie his hair back as he cradled the soup bowl in both hands before tenderly blowing on the surface so he could sip it. Forget the spoon, he wanted to eat. This was meant to be breakfast!
He reached for tissues on the counter, trying to wipe off the mess caught in his cupped hand. His head turned to Forthwind instinctively who recoiled.
“Sorry—hHHSChhhiieehww!! Augh…it won’t stop-“
“Don’t- Elanos, turn that way! Don’t aim at me— turn! Your pupils are seriously blown wide, are you high?”
“Nuh uh…”
He blew his nose with a noisy flare of sound. Lot to get rid of there...
“Your fever isn’t nearly high enough to cause delirium…”
Forthwind was rattling off some other theory as Elanos fully immersed himself in drinking the soup. Delicious and filling, he felt the broth go down the itchy part of his throat and clear up his sinuses. In other words…divine! He felt it leak onto his chin and lazily swiped it off.
“…you haven’t ticked off a fey recently, have you?”
“I don’t know…”
“You seem to be exhibiting a lot of, well, signs of inebriation. And you don’t drink while sick, I know that much.”
“Mmhm…”
He continued to eat, listening to Forthwind between gulps of broth.
“It feels like someone’s playing a gag on you because I r- slow down before you choke. I recall there is a hex of some kind that is all symptoms of a cold, but mixed with a bit of enchantment. You spilt some.”
That’s what sleeves are for. He reached for the counter but was gently chided into using a tissue before he got to it.
“In any case, the soup ought to help. It’s got that divine quality! Which is funny, because so do you,” Forthwind took the empty bowl from him to the sink. He still had his mask and gloves on, and Elanos stared ahead, stupidly, nose dripping, waiting for him to finish up, “I’m putting you to bed after this. Are you still hungry?”
“I could go for ah-adother. My eyes are starting to hurt…is that normal?” He paused to cough and ended up wheezing through Forthwind’s next statement.
“Maybe. Could be the dilation. You should be good to have something a bit lighter, so I brought you some banana bread…”
“Pair with coffee…”
“Uh, no, pair with hot tea and bed. Gods, you really are high.”
“I’m hungry…”
The banana bread was taken from a tote and carefully set in front of him on a plate so he could devour it without grace. He had crumbs on his hands, crumbs on the counter…and he was being taken away upstairs.
“You’ll feel better after a nap. Hexes rarely last long,” Forthwind said, guiding him to the bathroom so he could wash up. He shied away to the doorway as Elanos let out another sneeze towards the sink and mirror, “I’ll-! Clean up downstairs!”
He's not too stupid to brush his teeth. Washing up took no time at all, and he spent another minute trying to look down his throat with the limited light in the bathroom mirror. Forthwind was waiting outside and offered an arm for him to rest against as he was helped into bed.
“You look incredibly tired. Did you take anything?”
He nodded, wriggling deep into the covers. His head sank into the pillows and he felt the liquid in his head shift. His sinuses were all sensitive.
“Good. I mean it when I say to call me if you need anything,” A hand came to his forehead, “Don’t need you stumbling everywhere in this state. Good thing you didn’t drive.”
“Thanks for the food…”
“Of course. Any time. Figured it would help based on how you sounded over the phone.”
Elanos nodded and closed his eyes to the sound of someone descending the stairs and the quiet washing of dishes. Maybe his cognition was a bit off, but he was lucid enough to know he was in good hands.
Content Warning: Substance use, intoxication, and the three do get decently smutty at the end. (aka #nsfquo tag!)
Word Count: 5,100
Note: Thank you @hitching-hyacinth for letting me write something inspired by your fantasy snuff sneeze prompt! Essentially, these three get their hands on magical powder that makes them higher the more they sneeze. This fic plays around a lot with the dynamic of these three fools, and it’s given me such a good excuse to practice sneeze descriptions!! Oh, and of course, they start getting pretty touchy as the afternoon goes on. Maybe I’ll make a part 2 to this, but only because I adore Gulliver’s sneezes and he needs more.
Forthwind muttered to himself as he sliced red onions. This was the unseen side of a culinary graduate: prepping in your own apartment for a function at the end of the week. He had to plan two days ahead just for the sake of a good meal. Well, a good meal that his reputation depended on, at least. He was humble and hospitable, but his desperate strides for the latter often stressed him out.
The aasimar was pulled from his task at a steady rumble emanating from the kitchen island. Someone was calling him at this hour? Sighing, Forthwind paused from his julienne slices. He was sniffling wetly and rubbing at one of his teary eyes with a wrist. Damn onions, he should’ve run them under water to avoid all the waterworks. After placing his knife down, Forthwind balanced his phone between his shoulder and pointed ear.
A yawn greeted him first. Then, “Forthwind…?”
“Hey! Ryfon?” Forthwind moved a grease-sodden pan into his sink to scrub it clean. He paused, smiling at a giggle from the phone. “…Hello Ryfon! I’m doing…doing quite fine. Just finished my preparations for tomorrow’s party.”
Ryfon, the eladrin on the other end of the line, was sprawled out on his couch upside down. He was holding an expensive looking tin between his fingers, reading the labeling on the back. “Oh, perfect timing then, huh?”
“It…it depends, Ryfon,” he opened his fridge, worriedly glancing at his unfinished tasks. “What’s up?”
“Well, remember when you said to get a hold of you if I ever found a fix you might like??”
The pan was neatly hung on a brick wall amongst Forthwind’s prized knife display. “Oh..? I’m listening.”
“Yeah, I think I found it. Well—Gully found it, actually. It’s really good. Super chill, super low maintenance, according to him, just like you we’re talking about.”
Forthwind was willingly subjected to a ten-minute ramble as he cleaned up the rest of his kitchen. According to Ryfon, Gulliver had been adamant on finding a substance most suitable for Forthwind. Being an aasimar, he had quite the sturdy tolerance against non-magical things; alcohol was mostly reserved as a compliment to a fancy dinner, and cannabis would get expensive when you needed a handful of edibles to feel something. Magical substances were the logical next step, but plenty of magical substances were more trouble than they were worth if taken incorrectly. That, and getting your hands on any sort of dispell magic scrolls was also a punch to the wallet.
“No wild magic with this one, yeah?” Forthwind was obliged to ask with the topic on his mind, “last time, I was a sheep in your bathtub for three hours.”
“Not at all. It literally feels like a super strong indica. All the arcane stuff is in the…like, the activation and preservation, or whatever. Gully, is that right?? …It, yeah- okay, yes!! Mainly the activation of the snuff.”
“Oh, it's snuff?” Interesting.
“Snff—! Yeah, you could call it a snuff.”
“…so, is this an invitation?”
“It’s a summoning!!” The pitchy, nasally voice was Gulliver, listening in on speaker. “If you wanna give it a go, get over here!”
“Sure sure, give me thirty-five.” It would be worth putting prep work on hold, he had a feeling.
———
Forthwind was never off with his timing. Punctuality was a huge part of being a chef, after all. Thirty-five minutes was enough time to change into comfortable clothes, collect a small array of essentials, and catch the bus to the next district. The setting sun was perfect company on his quiet ride.
“…snff..! Snf!” On his mostly quiet ride. He was one of four passengers, two of which had been eyeing him for a couple of minutes. He was well-acclimated to their smitten expressions; it wasn’t every day an angel sat across from you on metropolitan transit. The moment he looked down to his phone, he felt a spark of a tickle fester in his nose as the pair launched into hushed conversation. He knew he was the subject of their giddy whispers, not out of an unchecked ego, but how strongly his nose was acting up. Compliments were his most potent allergy, and even the implication of them made his breath tremble. The golden hour at least did something to hide the redness.
Forthwind’s nose creased at the bridge. His lashes fluttered against his cheeks, and a hand hovered expectantly in front of his face with parting lips. Good grief, whatever they were saying, it was making his nose act up so sharply— “h-hHh! hHEEishhiiw!!”
His nose buzzed like television static. A dull tickle that was growing dormant quickly. He sniffled with dissatisfaction and shook his head, but telling by how quickly he geared up for a second sneeze, that small action hit his onlookers in the chest.
“Gesundheit,” at least one was courageous enough to offer.
By the time Forthwind was walking up the street to the apartments west of campus, he had been blowing his nose into small travel tissues. Sneezing from compliments always made his nose so drippy! The used tissues kept a faintly-glowing residue, and his bright pink nostrils hinted at the culprit.
“Snf! Eugh, snrf!! Huhh…321, 323, 325…there we go.”
No one answered the first two sets of knocking dishes out to the bulky red door labeled 327. Right as Forthwind began to question if he had the wrong apartment, the locks clicked on the other side and the door swung inward. Behind it, a goblin as tall as his hip leaned out, dreadlocks spilling over his shoulder. He had an exaggerated, animated quality about him, as if pulled out of an old technicolor film and slapped into the real world. His eyes blinked individually behind his massive, rubbery pink nose.
“Good evening, Gulliver! How have you been?
“Heyyyy, not too bad! Get in here! Take your shoes off.”
“Thank you…honestly, I think I needed to take a load off. The preparations for the function have been killing me.”
“Yo, Forthwind!” Ryfon rolled over so that he could lean over the couch and face them. A few oak leaves were fluttering down from his autumnal hair, leaving only a few maples behind. “What Gully said, take it easy! I just ordered us some pizza on Airscamper, should be here in about…2 minutes?”
“Oh nice..!” Honestly, pizza sounded so appealing after studying with complex flavor profiles all afternoon. Forthwind yearned for something simple for once! “Well, while that’s on the way, about this snuff: could I get a look at it?”
The fancy aluminum tin was tossed his way, and he flipped it to the front. ‘Hitchington’s Snuff,’ apparently from the Emporium of Wonder collection. What kind of a name was Hitchington??
“Gulliver found it at an adult circus he went to the other day, apparently it’s wacky stuff…”
“Wacky fun, I feel I should add. It’s super chill and lowkey!”
“Mmm,” The aasimar squinted at his friends, and his eyes fell onto a paragraph on the bottom of the tin. “Let’s see here: ‘Tired of old fashioned sessions? Hitchington’s Snuff is a Tabacco-Free recreational snuff infused with enchantments.’ How curious.”
“Oh, wait, is that us?” Ryfon suddenly stood, pointing outside. When the other two followed his gaze, they could make out a winged creature approaching the balcony from afar. Ryfon rushed to the screen door and yanked it open, grabbing a purple air-traffic baton hanging beside it on the wall. He clicked it on, waved it crazily, and watched as they redirected their path.
A winged tiefling cautiously landed on the porch, a pizza bag slung securely over his shoulder. Pizza was exchanged for a water bottle and high-sugar snack, which, along with a generous tip, was a common courtesy amongst Airscamper delivery workers.
Ryfon brought the pizza boxes over Gulliver’s head. Forthwind couldn’t help a tiny chuckle at the sight of Gulliver’s huge nose. The way it teetered on his face as he snuffled, following the direction the boxes moved. The way it caused him to lean forward—Forthwind was concerned for a moment that his friend would float off the ground towards Ryfon. “Snff! Snf! A large bacon and pepperoni, with garlic glaze and stuffed crust…snfff! And a small pineapple and anchovy pizza too…”
Ryfon wasted no time cracking open a box. “You say that like you didn’t make the order with me ten minutes ago, Gully!”
“Shhh shhh, let me have my moment dude!”
“Hold on, hold on,” Forthwind scowled, putting his hands out, “I’m sorry, pineapple and anchovy? Nothing else??”
“Oh, here we go again, it’s an underrated combo!! Little bit sweet, little bit salty. It’s like chocolate-covered pretzels, but tropical!”
“Are you pregnant?”
“I’m innovating the pizza-topping industry.”
Tch, this living-cartoon of a man. Forthwind rolled his eyes with a good-natured smile. Whatever floats his boat!
While the pizza was still piping hot (having flown out of the oven not ten minutes ago), Forthwind, Ryfon, and Gulliver gathered round the coffee table in varying seating. Ryfon preferred the beanbag, simply because he could sweep the leftover leaves and petals easier over the hardwood floor. Gulliver took to the tiny round ottoman by the table. Forthwind, the couch.
“Let’s see what this actually looks like, woah,” Gulliver and Forthwind leaned in as Ryfon held the fancy snuff container. The tin opened to a fine, glittery gold powder. It was as if some gold leaf had been compacted to the texture of cinnamon.
“Oh, hold on, one more thing,” Gulliver suddenly stood, and dove into a paper bag. “There’s also this! It’s an antimagic sobering flush.”
What he revealed was a small, narrow bottle, the size of his thumb. A nasal spray applicator was connected to the top, and it was all painted in gold. Forthwind squinted at the fancy cursive words.
“Hitchington’s Diss-Choo, Dispelling Nasal Spray—Gulliver, where do you find this stuff, I feel like I’m about to snort an ACME product.” Oh, why bother? At least there was an easy out if things got too chaotic, and he couldn’t complain with that at all. That’s why magical recreation was the best kind out there!
“Hey, I don’t judge,” Ryfon shrugged, already navigating a pinch of it in an oak leaf he plucked from his hair. “Bottoms up, right?”
“Sure, why not? What’s the worst that could happen?”
“You could be a sheep again,”
“Don’t manifest that, Ryfon.”
Forthwind brought some of the powder to his gentle nostrils. He was the first to try it, as he feared he’d back out if he waited any longer. The powder prickled in a way that nearly blinded Forthwind. He scrunched his nose, recoiling his head away from his hand as if it would get him away from the severe tickle in his nose. It didn’t burn, but it had this tingling effect that felt like heavy static. Every time he bumped at his nose as he sniffled and snorted, he had to fight waves upon waves of intense fuzziness under his twitching nostrils.
And here Gulliver was, practically snorting a line of it off the table! There was something objectively funny about it all, exaggeration that could only be pulled off by this clown. “Oh fuck, I got it in my eye!” He hissed.
“You got it in your everything, Gully, how much was that??”
“I dunno, but they don’t call me the Greenout Goat for nothing. Okay, first to sneeze has to get tickled.”
Both Ryfon and Forthwind instinctively went to protect themselves at the mention. Forthwind never considered himself a ticklish person until he met Gulliver years back. That, and the itch in his nose was beginning to stir up into something more productive.
“Oh gods, h-hHHh!”
“Oh already??” Ryfon laughed, pointing his way.
“My nose’s r…hHhh! Real f-fussy on a normal d—! Normal…dhHh-! hEHhh!”
Both Gulliver and Ryfon watched on as Forthwind hitched, anticipation heavy in their gaze. Why was this so embarrassing?? The feathers on his cheeks and neck were quick to puff out at all the sudden attention.
“HhHuhh…uhm- snf!! I lost it…” he sighed, relieved.
There was a pregnant beat of silence between the three. Then, suddenly—
“HhHGHh- heeEH! hHAH!!” Eyes shifted to the smallest in the room, whose big pink nose was flaring. His cartoonish physics had extra squish and stretch to them, evident in the way one of his nostrils flared almost disproportionately. Even as he grasped his reddening nose in both hands, he couldn’t stop what he’d started: “hyihHH!! hHAAB’tsshhw!!”
“Bless you,” Forthwind spoke up instinctively.
Ryfon and Forthwind watched Gulliver dazedly recover, sharing a second of silence. Ryfon then gestured expectantly to Forthwind. “Don’t just leave him there!!”
Right! He had been so focused on abating his own sneeze, he had already lost sight of the game. He hurriedly grabbed at a large, loose feather from one of his wings, poking it playfully at his side. He squirmed away quickly with a ticklish yelp, only to tumble into Ryfon’s waiting arms. His fits of laughter and wails made Forthwind grin.
“Now, Gulliver, how long does this stuff take to settle in? It makes my nose itch so badly…” Ryfon wrinkled his freckled nose with a pout.
“It’s already settled in, y…you just gotta …whew- activate it.” Gulliver panted, rubbing the tender spot on his stomach that Ryfon’s fingers had worked into him.
“What, with the spray?”
“No no, all you have to do is s-”
“h-hhHhh…sorry,” Forthwind had interrupted them with another false start, rubbing shyly at his pinkening nose.
“That’s exactly it, you just gotta sneeze a few times.” Again with the fey-like oddity that was this snuff! Who was this Hitchington guy?
“Oh, you weren’t kidding, huh?? That’s great news,” Ryfon spoke thinly, pulling a tissue from the box on the coffee table. Gulliver still sat on his lap, looking up as the eladrin elf rolled one end into a point. Or at least, he attempted to, but could hardly get halfway through the task before his nostrils twitched in warning. “It’s…s’great news be…because I’m gUH- huh—! hnk’TSCHHHhh’yiw!” He snapped his head to the side, sneezing towards the hardwood floor with a slight spray.
“Bless you!” Spoken just as enthusiastically from Forthwind again.
Ryfon lifted a finger, shaking his head. “Hh…heh! hehhHUHTtsshh’yiw!! Huhh snfff! I haven’t even tried making mysEHhsschhh’yiw!! Woah…”
“Bless you, bless you again,”
“You might wanna save your breath, Forthwind, we’re all in for plenty of sneezes.”
“Oh! Gods forbid I’m polite about it! I don’t mind…”
“Oh bless you,” Gulliver rested his cheek against his steepled hands, batting his uncharacteristically-long lashes. Forthwind choked out a laugh at the animated halo hovering above Gulliver’s stupid face. Gods, this freak of a man was too funny sober! “Whatever floats your boat, I suppose. Speaking of, how are you feeling, Ryfon?”
“I can feel something, it’s like a pleasant buzz.”
“Need some help with your…?” He wordlessly balled his fist under his nose, ghosting the motion of tickling.
“Oh, yes please,” Ryfon offered the pointed tissue towards Gulliver’s paws, “you know how to do it in a way that makes me sneeze my head off…what did you call it??”
Gulliver, straddling Ryfon’s legs with his planted feet on the beanbag, put a hand on Ryfon’s forehead to tilt it back. The question broke his focus momentarily, and he tilted his head. “Call what? Inducing?”
“Inducing, I didn’t know we were using medical terms.”
“That’s hardly medical bro, like… ‘making you sneeze’ is too much of a mouthful.”
Gulliver was quick to start, dodging potential questions like his life depended on it. He sifted around with the tissue, poking for a sweet spot, before wiggling it in place when he found one.
“I just don’t g…get why you need to sh…shHehh…heh- oh-!” He coughed with surprise, thick eyelashes fluttering wetly. “Oh goHhds deHHSCHhh’yiw!! Hehh—heHHDTSSshhh’yiw!!”
“Bless y— bless you…” Forthwind chuckled. The tissue was pulled out of Ryfon’s nose only after the sneezes were over. Even then, he only did so to quickly dive into the other one. Tears immediately came crashing down his freckled face.
“Tickles a bit?” Gulliver sneered. Forthwind could only imagine what Ryfon was feeling right now, it had him overly-curious. Just watching the two made his nose scrunch sympathetically.
“Uhh…hHhUuh…!” Ryfon’s nostrils flared, and small buttercups unfurled along his locks. That was a rarer flower Forthwind had only seen whenever Ryfon got high, so it must have been working. At last, Ryfon waved Gulliver away from him, reaching for his pestered nose. His breath trembled needily. He leaned over in the bean bag, rubbing his nose in a circular motion using his fist. That seemed to be enough to coax the sneeze out. “HhRRSSHH’yiiw!! Hhuh—USSSHhh’yiiwh!!”
“Bless you, bless you.”
“Thank you Forthw—hhHI’m n-nHh!! Not donNUSHHhhuuh!!” Ryfon pitched forward, openly spraying his own lap and Gulliver’s. When he lifted his head, it was as if he overcorrected, sending his shoulders back into the beanbag with a soft thud.
“Ahah!! How high are you right now?” Gulliver spoke brightly, taking a tissue to clean up his face.
“Like…” was all Ryfon could manage without a loose string of giggles escaping him, “sNFf! It’s…it’s like, it…ahah! Hold on—snFFf!! It’s a great start.”
“Good! Forthwind, you haven’t sneezed once since we’ve started.”
“I’m about to,” he replied hopelessly, subconsciously mimicking the rubbing Ryfon did in hopes it’d spur on the same. There was a long pause, and he felt his cheeks sting. “I…hhHh! I don’t know why it’s so much harder to sneeze when everyone’s looking at me!”
“I was just trying to see if you could sneeze on command or something!” Gulliver laughed.
“No I…I uh…hHh! I’ve had this tickle in my nose since we’ve started, I’m trying to see if I can get it out…”
Gulliver watched Forthwind sniffle delicately and begin wiggling his nose about, hands-free. Coaxing a sneeze was stubborn work on its own, but who knew that being watched made it so much harder?
“You know, Forthwind, you’re kind of surrounded with enough to make you sneeze,” Gulliver gestured to the vestigial wings that were trying to hide his face in embarrassment.
“I know, I’ve never purposely made myself sneeze with them though, it just sorta happens by accident-!”
“Here,” Gulliver grabbed the large feather he was tickled with not five minutes ago. As Ryfon finally broke into the pizza, Forthwind sat upright on the couch as if preparing for a medical exam. Gulliver climbed up onto his lap, and sat himself down with a comedic plop. “Relax, Ryfon can take it, but I’m not gonna go crazy on you like that.”
“Fuck do you mean ‘I can take it’? You’re making me sneeze, not blowing my back out,” a very affronted Ryfon retorted
“With the way you were whining and gasping a few minutes ago, it was hard to tell!” Forthwind snickered his way. When the large feather was brought up to his nose, the side brushed slowly under his nostrils and made him shiver. He wiggled his nose carefully and resisted a momentary urge to sputter. He had naturally soft feathers, but it felt so different running under his nostrils. Every time he breathed in, he felt a few wispy barbs near the quill sneak into both nostrils. They flared quickly in response, but as quick as the irritant was there, it left.
“Y’know, I think this feather’s too big to do much. Do you mind if I…?”
Forthwind’s buzzing nose would beg to differ. “If you…oh! Sure.”
Gulliver pulled away, running a claw delicately along his wings. While he was up there, he took care of a few fresh pin feathers. By the time he returned to his field of view, a much smaller feather was pinched in his claws. A fluffy downy one, no wider than his pinkie. Forthwind snuffled at the sight of it—he’d lost count of how many times he had accidentally sniffed up one of these before, and the annoying fits that followed it.
The feather entered one of his twitching nostrils. Forthwind had to fight every fibre in his being begging to sniff at the intrusive tickle. He could feel the tiny barbs, clinging to the inner walls as it was twisted in Gulliver’s fingertips.
“Oh th-hHh..!” Forthwind stammered over the rest of his sentence, breath trembling. When he gasped, he was overcome with a chilly sensation that rushed across his face and chest, lingering in his tear ducts. His nose wiggled in the brief pause. His nostrils quivered with need, and quivered more when the feather was pulled away.
“HhHheeh- hhHEESSsshhw!!” Then, warmth. A rush of warmth that started at the base of his chest and ended at the tip of his nose. When he sniffled clumsily afterwards, the warmth spread from head to toe. His senses were heightened, but the high was only momentarily—no longer than ten seconds. “Huhh..snrf!! That worked, but only a little…”
“Bless! Takes more than one to really get a buzz out of it!”
“Thank you…snffk! You sure it’s not my tolerance??”
“Nahh, trust,” Ryfon waved his hand vacantly—or at least, attempted to. In reality, he lifted it, and halfheartedly bent his wrist. “It’ll feel kinda l…kinda like, a hot rag is on your face at first, or something.”
“Damn, Ryfon, that kicked in fast for you, buddy!” Forthwind snickered. “Alright, hit me again, Gulliver.”
“Hahah! With pleasure.”
Under Gulliver’s clawed digits, Forthwind’s smile faded with growing focus. The feather returned into his field of vision—the tiny thing was half slicked with glowing mucus. A few congested sniffles confirmed his nose had been running a little. He recoiled his head away from the feather bashfully.
“Oh shit, sorry, I didn’t mean to sneeze on you…”
“I don’t care, you didn’t sneeze in my face or anything. Hold still.”
The feather continued its torment, slipping into his other nostril instead.
“H-hhHih-! How are y….yeeSHHhhww-hEEIISSsshhiiih!!”
Two at once made his whole face tingle—he had the sense to muffle them in a politely-bent elbow. The glowing spot on his sleeve made him wince with embarrassment. There was the telltale stuffiness in his lungs, that floaty feeling of intoxication coursing through his veins. His head was starting to spin, and his motions were lagging behind. “How are you so gHHh!! Good at making me snee—heeh..!”
“I’m lowkey not that great, you’re just really sensitive.”
“Ooh! Color me surprised,” Ryfon suddenly flung both arms up, flashing a sarcastic grin, “Forthwind’s sensitive?!”
“RyfoHh!!” The playfully cutting words caught him off guard, and he coughed with a giggle. He felt his cheeks prickling from a sudden dopamine rush. “Leave me alo’de, …m-m’trying to get high,”
“I’m just saying, you look like a butch lesbian and a gay twink had a kid.”
That got a belly-laugh out of Forthwind, but Gulliver seized the opportunity to tickle his nose a bit more intensely. He squeezed his eyes shut with breathy, desperate hitches, before sneezing twice more. “HhHheehshhhiihw!! Huh…hhHh- Hipp’schhhiieew!”
“Bless you twice, oh! Three!!”
“Hiisschhuw!!! Huhh…” he had such quiet sneezes, no matter how intense. It was easy to see how badly his nose tickled, and the desperate sneezes that left him sounded like they were working overtime to rid him of the tickle.
“How are we feeling, buddy?” Gulliver pulled away from his pink nose, marveling at the glowing clear and gold mucus connecting the limp feather to his nostril.
“I’m getting there, snff!! Gods, I’m such a mess…”
“Oh shush, you’re a pretty mess, Forthwind.”
“Watch yourself, Gulliver,” Ryfon’s ear flicked a few times lazily, “allergies, dude!”
“Oh right, sorr-!” Gulliver turned back to Forthwind, watching with slight awe as he tilted his head back. Both his nostrils were already pink from irritation, but the wetness gathered at their rims made them glow a comforting salmon color. Anyone with a curious bone in their body knew the gorgeous way skin and flesh illuminated against a bright light. So to see his wet nose and misty eyes do the same was mesmerizing.
“HHh..! Hiihhss- hhHHhit’s okay, it hh—! Heh- hHeh- heEH- HESSHhhiewh!! Helps…gods, snffFF!! Huhhh… this feels odd…”
“What, you want me to keep going?” It was a lousy attempt at sarcasm, sounding more like a genuine question at best and a poorly-hidden plea at worst. Forthwind had sneezed all over Gulliver’s lap, and was clearly still recovering, sluggishly wiping slick from his upper lip.
“Let’s say, cap it at three.”
“Three compliments or three sneezes?”
“Three compliments. Snff!!”
Gulliver, placing the feather down, genuinely sat back with thought. When he did, his form suddenly went rigid as his tail pressed against the aasimar’s crotch. He lifted his hips again and looked down over his shoulder, curiosity becoming sudden flattery. “Oh, hello there…”
Forthwind’s cheeks stained bright red as he huffed. “Ssuh…sorry, I uhm…you’ve just been on my lap like that the whole time, it’s hard not to get excited! I can’t control it much…”
“Oh I’m not upset, quite the opposite, I just want you to feel good because you deserve it~!”
“FuUhck y—ihh! Hhhihh…Hisschiiew!!” The compliments were already getting to him, he could tell by the static buzz raiding both his nostrils. He was so flushed, and he couldn’t tell if it was the high or the humiliation. He melted into the couch with a vocal whine as Gulliver teasingly smothered their hips together a few times. This stupid goblin was grinding on him and it was working, how embarrassing!
“Aww, don’t be shy! I’m flattered that me making you sneeze of all things is getting you worked up. You don’t mind me doing this, right?”
He demonstrated again, watching Forthwind shake his head with a bashful huff. “This is so stupid…you’re so stupid…”
“I’ll take the compliment! Ryfon, I need you for something. Get his arms over his head.”
“Come here, pretty thiiing,” Ryfon teased as he sat beside him, bringing his wrists upward.
“Hey—hHhRRSshhw!!” Forthwind could hardly get a word out before another sneeze winded him. “Don’t th—!! Don’t think you’re slick, you only get three as well, and that was one.”
“You have to give us a cap and everything,” Ryfon nodded, rolling his eyes. “You mind if I get handsy?”
“I feel like I’m getting spoiled—yeah go right ahead, what the hell…”
“Bet I could make him finish before my third compliment,” Gulliver chittered.
“Finish??” Forthwind echoed, peeking through his vestigialwings only for the goblin rocking on his lap to shrug. He couldn’t lie, if that was Gulliver’s goal, he was closer to achieving it than Forthwind would care to admit. Something about this snuff made all of his senses incredibly fussy and hypersensitive, and that was especially true on the spot Gulliver was so eagerly dry-humping, it didn’t help that Ryfon was busy spinning his white locks around his finger and playing with his nipple.
When Forthwind would shift his hands in an attempt to rub his nose, the eladrin above him was quick to react, abandoning the tease temporarily to correct him. “Apapap! You keep these up here—hEY-!!”
Forthwind had scoffed, reaching up to tickle at Ryfon’s sides. He squirmed, too laggy to suppress a shriek of joy and a giggle. Only a momentary tease, Forthwind was, but the objective Ryfon demanded was understood and obliged.
Gulliver, quick as the wind, unzipped Forthwind’s fly for better access to his underwear. All of his work had already earned him a faintly-glowing wet spot. “I swear to the fey courts, when we’re done, I’ll be able to use your briefs to port a ship in the fog.”
Glowing sweat was beginning to bead his forehead like tiny twinkling stars.
“Real fallen—fallen angel over here,” Ryfon hummed dazedly, running his hands down his chest from above, “ff—feeling good down there?”
Forthwind tried to speak, but the warm dizziness of intoxication was making his words sluggish at best. He merely panted and nodded, leaning into Gulliver’s moving hips. Gods, what a great feeling. As he looked up, Ryfon watched him expectantly, prompting him to speak up. “Y—yeah…ffuck, I’m close…y’better have clothes I can borrow…”
“How could I not? I’ll let you…I’ll let you like, I’ll let you get in my pajamas bro, don’t even sweat it. Not like that, but like,”
“Ryfon read the room, I’m gonna bust from chucklefuck over here!!” Forthwind whimpered and lifted his knee, squirming under Gulliver again with a vocal whine. Ryfon stuck his tongue out teasingly. “So sensitive, noisy too. No wonder you got folks drooling over you all the damn time…”
A flash of betrayal ran across Forthwind’s face, quickly taken over by a few hitches. He tried his hardest to control his breath, which in itself was rendered impossible thanks to Gulliver bouncing on his stiff groin. How dare he, at his weakest moment! “Hh-hHHh! heEIISSHHhhiiw!!”
“Ohh, that was a big one for you,” Gulliver sang at the gentle sound that escaped him. It had no choice but to be completely open, sending glittery gold and glowing droplets across the front of his own shirt. “You’ve got such a delicate sneeze, it’s genuinely the best one I’ve ever heard.”
“H-hHhcahHh’t…!” He warned, but couldn’t articulate before succumbing to a trembling gasp, “hHHIISSHHhhiiwh!!” A visceral sound, at least by Forthwind’s standard. He was so faded that he couldn’t tell where he just sneezed.
The noise following it was certainly not a sneeze, but a sharp cry of pleasure that ran from his core to his extremities. Ryfon’s grip on his wrists returned as he arched his back slightly. Gulliver was lifted up almost a foot from the motion, looking down in delight as the glowing spot he was grinding on grew twice as bright. The blissful afterglow was something he’d remember for weeks.
There was so much he could say about it all. He couldn’t find the words, at least, not fast. “…where was the third compliment…?”
“Fishing for them, are we??” Gulliver laughed, “I’m saving it for a rainy day.”
“…gods, I need a slice of pizza,” Forthwind finally sighed into the air. His finger pushed Gulliver in the chest, nudging him off his lap where he then tumbled onto the couch. “After that, you’re done for, Gully…”
“Yeah, you’ve only sneezed once since we started, you’ve got a lot of catching-up to do.”
“Aheh!! I’m not opposed. I’m starving too though…”
“Fuuuck, the anchovies,” Forthwind groaned in agony, “you better take a breath mint before we get back to it, you freak.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Snickered Gulliver, “bless you, by the way.”
DUDE IM FUCKING FERAL OVER THIS FIC I’ve been waiting for it soso eagerly, I wound up writing my play-by-play reactions bc I just couldn’t help myself 💀💀 I hope it’s ok for me to share—!
Bear with me, there’s a lot—
- Describing Gully with a “pitchy, nasally voice” is PEAK,, highkey makes me wanna feature him in a fic of mine one of these days !!
- “The used tissues kept a faintly-glowing residue,” GLOWING MESS !!! “and his bright pink nostrils hinted at the culprit.” God that phrase is fire, holy shit???
- HAVING A FANTASY FOOD DELIVERY SERVICE NAMED AIRSCAMPER?!??!! THAT’S SO CUTE,, Quo your brain is fucking Huge
- AND GIVING THE DELIVERY PERSON A WATER BOTTLE & SNACK SO THAT THEY’RE HYDRATED & DON’T HAVE A BLOOD-SUGAR CRASH,,, (Oh how I wish that could be the norm irl,, I might start doing this if I ever start using food delivery services) That’s such a thoughtful & neat detail to include !!! I might have to start incorporating this into my own writing/world-building, man
- The description of the snuff itself is gorgeous— “…a fine, glittery gold powder. It was as if some gold leaf had been compacted to the texture of cinnamon.” Woahg
- The BANTER !!!! Don’t get me started on the banter between these three !!!! 🥹🥹 It feels so silly and lighthearted and natural, I adore it!! They’re all so good-natured and playful together, it’s so cozy!
- “Oh fuck, I got it in my eye!” “You got it in your everything, Gully…” I LOVE THEM BOTH YOUR HONOR Gulliver is such a goober it makes me Feral
- THE TICKLE THREAT & FIGHT OH MY GOD,,,, this could fix me I think
- Also a thought that occurred to me: technically, Ryfon or Gulliver could’ve cheated & muttered a compliment to Forthwind (or just thought appraisingly enough about him!) to make him lose—! Though that wouldn’t be fair, it would be silly!
- Lowkey imagining whoever this Hitchington guy is as a fictional (even within the fic!) caricature with a comically huge mustache, fantastically-designed glasses (octagonal lenses? Wild colors? Dangling charms? Idk!), prominent laugh lines, & greying hair; I’m not sure Why that’s the image that kept popping into my head whenever I read the name, but the mental image is so comical and whimsical to me, I just have to share it!
- Gulliver is The Character ever, I’m obsessed with him 💀💀
- Oh Gulliver totally has the kink (or at least knows about it) doesn’t he (it’s probably much more complicated & fluid than that, but still)
- OH HE ABSOLUTELY DOES— “…dodging potential questions like his life depended on it.” WILD
- Ryfon having specific flowers appear for specific emotions or sensations is already so peak (it’s one of the reasons I’m so fond of him to begin with), but having one as an indicator for when he’s HIGH?! Top-fucking-tier, oh my god— I love characters having distinct (and especially fantastical!) tells for what they’re feeling!!
- Oh my god imagine Gulliver & Ryfon helping Forthwind preen & care for his wings????? Gulliver already seems to have a knack for it!
- Holy shit, the description of the high??? The chill, then the sudden rush of warmth???? NEED
- “Under Gulliver’s clawed digits, Forthwind’s smile faded with growing focus.” Yet another fire line 😳😳
- EVEN MORE BANTER !!! WE FUCKING WIN !!!!!
- “I’m just saying, you look like a butch lesbian and a gay twink had a kid.” HOWLING AND CACKLING
- “It was a lousy attempt at sarcasm, sounding more like a genuine question at best and a poorly-hidden plea at worst.” Fucking PEAK phrasing
- Dude these guys make me feel Feral, why do I need to be in either Forthwind or Gulliver’s positions asap 💀💀
- ⚡️Oh my god I need to be in Ryfon’s position now too ahsvHSVSHSV
- “…when we’re done, I’ll be able to use your briefs to port a ship in the fog.” FUCKING WILDDDD 🫣
- “Ryfon read the room, I’m gonna bust from chucklefuck over here!!” SCREAMING AND CACKLING
- “…Gulliver sang at the gentle sound that escaped him. It had no choice but to be completely open, sending glittery gold and glowing droplets across the front of his own shirt.” Fucking gorgeous description & alliteration, high-key
- “After that, you’re done for, Gully…” “Yeah, you’ve only sneezed once since we started, you’ve got a lot of catching-up to do.” GET HIS ASS !!!!!! (I will be rotating this concept around inside my brain for weeks like a cheap microwave dinner /positive)
- GOD I LOVE THEM I LOVE THEIR BANTER I LOVE THESE FUCKING CHARACTERS
This fic was 1000% worth the wait, it’s fucking incredible !!! 🥹🥹 Top-tier work as always, Quo!!
I feel like I just got my food critiqued ratatouille style (/VERY POSITIVE) THANK YOU?!?? oh my god there’s so much I can affirm and clarify (which I will!), but I think it’s funnier to just show you Hitchington instead. He’s a fuckass middle aged jumping mouse. I was (and still am) in a ringleader phase.
here’s a little snippet, i Cannot stop and i’m getting so stuffy. i did mostly finish what i needed to get done for tonight though, magically. hope you enjoy!! let me know what you think
