Dionisio Giovanni @spider-at-law - Tumblr Blog

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Name: Dionosio Giovanni Certified Gremlin at Law Pronouns: They/Them Gender: Nunya YB

General Content Warning.

Dio is a Giovanni, and while I won't go into detail about acting like European Nobles who hate Darwin. But these are still Giovanni and there will be oblique refrences.

Dio is also a Slaugh and Unseelie. They have a moral compass that does not align with human morals.

I'm not here for PvP aside from low level snark within reason. If I start experience bleed, I will try and let people know. But be gentle, please?

There WILL be spiders

so many spiders.

Generall horror tag warning.

#pinned post

spider-at-law

1morebone

Who was it this time?

spider-at-law

Nobody important

#I will be a good spider and not eat family

scoriarose

So. We have a bit of an unusual problem. The Gloink Queen lives in a bioactive enclosure with isopods. I fed her isopods some corn as I try to give them variety in their diet.

Unfortunately, at some point The Gloink Queen set her egg ball down, saw a corn kernal, and in her teenie tiny mustard seed brain she decided this was not a corn. This was the ultimate egg ball.

I have tried to help her, this poor creature who pranked herself. However, every attempt to try to remove the corn, or hold it and chase her away from it to try to get her to take her actual egg ball?

Results in her entering a fight to the death with me to protect her corn kernal baby. I don't know what to do. She has done the equivalent of taking her child to the clothing store, then sprinted out with a well dressed child mannequin, then gotten into a hostage situation WITH THE POLICE while they try to retrieve the mannequin and reunite mother and child while she screamed, "I DON'T KNOW WHO THAT IS! THIS IS MY BABY! LEAVE US ALONE YOU MONSTER!"

She refuses any intervention and squares up with me if she thinks I will take her children of the corn. I'm hoping she figures it out.

sentimentalslut

what people dont get about divorces is the Whole Thing About Dogs

sentimentalslut

i have written custody plans for labrador retrievers more complex than i have for children. i went to four years of undergrad, three years of law school, and sat for the bar exam to write up custody exchange provisions for dogs with hyphonated last names

sentimentalslut

my clients are paying $295 an hour for me to go to court and litigate who makes veterinary decisions for Chuckles the Goldfish and theres literally nothing i can do to stop them

sentimentalslut

framing these tags and hanging them up in my office to remind me that it can always be worse

spider-at-law

How do you manage supernatural eviction? We have to get rid of this stupid risen monk! @getaway-hearse-driver

Sorry

The family wants him there.

getaway-hearse-driver

I want him to leave.

spider-at-law

Well. You'll have to take that up with YOUR elders

How do you manage supernatural eviction? We have to get rid of this stupid risen monk! @getaway-hearse-driver

Sorry

The family wants him there.

#ic

spider-at-law

We are stuck together! Some guy dressed like arcade carpet did it! -the pizza idiots

oh so sad, you're undead. Figure it out

investigator-with-thorns

They're not paying, I'm not looking.

spider-at-law

well then, have fun with a mystery. Because I'm no investigator.

spider-at-law

Do you know maritime law? Someone stole my fish!

I can put you in contact with a merman or an orca.

Not a wereorca, just an orca. She's a real killer lawyer.

investigator-with-thorns

That's a possibility? Not my boat, or fish, I don't like sailing. But orca lawyer?

spider-at-law

yeah, they're smart. She takes payment in fishes.

onenicebugperday

Male tufted social velvet spider, Stegodyphus tibialis, Eresidae

Photographed in India by vipinbaliga

Legally I can’t share this photo without asking the photographer first, so please visit this link to see a male and female snuggled up in their nest :)

onenicebugperday

Male tufted social velvet spider, Stegodyphus tibialis, Eresidae

Photographed in India by vipinbaliga

Legally I can’t share this photo without asking the photographer first, so please visit this link to see a male and female snuggled up in their nest :)