Unrequited Love (tom holland)
"and maybe i like you because you're my best friend. maybe it's just that but i love you. i wholeheartedly love you. with every ounce of my body, i just love you." you paused, taking a quick breath in. spinning on your heel, you looked back to your bed. "how's that?"
the hamster on your bed wasn't paying any attention. you sighed, "you're right.. too forward. he will think i'm crazy."
turning back to the mirror you looked at yourself and wondered, why not me? why does he continuously choose other girls who hurt him over you? granted being best friends catapulates you into the forever friend zone, but if he could just see what you saw...
what you saw was different. you see love and light within your relationship, an unconditional love emanates from him to you just not in the way you needed. you we're in love with him and the stupid things he does. you loved how he laughed when you told a funny joke, or the way he would giggle if he was playing a prank on you. you were infatuated with his ability to ruin just about every movie that he has seen and you haven't.
what he saw was friendship, which you also loved about him. your friendship was strong and loving. he didn't think that the way your hair looked in the morning was adorable, or the way you made your coffee was absolutely ridiculous but still charming. what he saw was different and you didn't know if he would ever change his mind about that.
but how much longer could you stand to see girl after girl leave his bedroom in the morning, casually walk out the door while you watched criminal minds in the living room. not only was it painful to see that but to also see him pick the girls up in the bar the night before, wishing he would come to his senses and walk to you instead.
it hurt, honestly. it hurt to love him. and he has no idea...
you see your door fling open and there stands tom, warmly smiling at you. "morning!" he said cheerfully.
"good morning," you smiled back, he looked adorable. you two hadn't gone to the bars last night, so you wouldn't have to watch as someone left this morning.
"do you wanna come take tessa for a walk with me?" he asked politely, still standing in your doorway with his ruffled hair and baggy sleep clothes.
"yeah, i'll come. let me get ready," he nodded to you and closed the door behind himself. you turned back to the mirror and sighed heavily. "you have to tell him, today." you whispered.
----
"good girl, tess!" tom shouted, throwing another ball as far as he could.
you've been holding back for a while now, you didn't know how to start. he is probably going to think you're crazy or weird or both. ultimately, you weren't scared of rejection but scared it will tarnish the friendship you two have. he is obviously going to look at you differently because of it.
"you right?" he said, putting his hand on your arm. "you haven't really said anything since we got here." you looked over to him.
"yeah, i'm okay. just thinking, i guess," you looked down at your feet. he looked at you as if to continue talking, but you couldn't. you weren't ready for everything to be different. "i don't know, just in my head..."
he rubbed your arm and smiled sweetly at you. "i'm always here, okay?"
"i know, tom. thanks," you smiled back but it quickly faded when someone approached the both of you.
she was small and blonde, having a flirtatious look on her face. "tom?" she grabbed his attention away from you, his hand retreated from your arm as he turned around.
"oh, hey penelope!" he smiled at her. you recognized her, she's come out of tom's room once or twice.
tessa came back with her ball, you took this opportunity to quietly walk away with her, pretending you were just playing. you could hear their conversation diminish as you got further away.
you could feel your heart hurting for him and there being nothing you can do about it. you knew this wasn't healthy and you knew that even if you told him, you would still hurt like this. you lived with him, there was nothing you could do to get your mind off of him. and maybe that was the problem.
"y/n?" you could hear him calling, you quickly wiped the frown off your face and raised your arm in the air for him to notice you. he jogged over, looking accomplished.
"there you are," he said to you, then reaching down to pet tessa. "i got her to come over tonight," he smirked.
normally, you would laugh at something like that to hide how you actually felt. you would tell him to just keep quiet so you could sleep, you'd be supportive. but what came out was the opposite of that, it shocked you how quickly you said it too. "i'm moving out,"
his face fell instantly, "what?" he spoke softly.
you quickly regained your thoughts. "my mom, she wants me to come stay with her..."
a lie. a big ole lie. right in his face you lied to your best friend. you didn't know why you just made that decision so fast. you knew your mom would let you stay with her the only problem she was four hundred miles away.
"f-for a little bit or like for good?" he looked concerned, worried and sad all at the same time. it was killing you.
you took a minute to respond, "for good..."
"when?"
"lets, uh- lets talk about this later, can we?" you asked, taking the opportunity to walk forward, tessa following right behind you.
"no, y/n, can we do this now? if my best friend is leaving me i need answers." he grabbed your arm and you had to hold back tears at this point.
you knew you had to leave, it was the only way for you to not hurt as badly anymore watching him be with other girls all the time. once you had moved on, maybe you could come back but it won't be the same. you thought it would be a good solution but now you'll just be apart, you'll fade. the friendship was ruined either way at this point.
you turned around with tears welling in your eyes. "y/n.. what's going on with you?"
"i love you! don't you get it?" you nearly shouted at him, he let go of your arm.
"i love you too, i don't know what you-"
"no, tom. i'm IN love with you. i have been for months now!" you were wiping tears from your cheeks as people passed by.
tom was looking at you softly, "oh..."
"seeing you bring girl after girl home, its...it hurts," you started. "it hurts to love you." you admitted, looking down.
"i had no idea, y/n. im so sorry, but please don't move out. i'll-i'll stop bringing them home, i will-"
"i don't want you to change your life just because i have some crush on you! i want you to be happy, i want you to be able to talk to a girl without feeling like you're making me sad."
"what are you saying?" he looked hurt. you couldn't even imagine what he was thinking right now.
"i know you don't feel the same way, i do. but i'm saying that because i love you, im letting you go," you turned sideways, tears brimming over your eyes now.
"but i don't want that!" he yelled. "i don't want to lose you, y/n please. there has got to be something, just because i don't love you like that doesn't mean we stop being friends."
"we don't have to not be friends i just can't live with you anymore, i have to move on." you said quietly. he thought for a moment as silence filled the space around the two of you.
you felt relieved that you had told him, but couldn't shake the fact that you were actually going to go stay with your mom. you kept this inside for months, it was like a breath of fresh air.
he walked up beside you and turned you to look at him, he grabbed your forearms and it made you look up. "lets go on a date," he said simply.
"what?"
"we've been friends for how long and i've never taken you on a date. i've never seen that side of you before, you know me, y/n. im not a close minded person, i can adapt and change-"
"i don't want you to change-"
"i want to change, if it means not losing you," he looked at you softly. "let's give it a shot, yeah?"
you thought about all of this. the conversation you had just had with him and how you never expected it to go the way this just did. you didn't have high hopes, but you knew now no matter the outcome tom was by your side. holding your hand or not, you didn't care.













