You Don’t Understand ~ Five Hargreeves
Requested by @multi-fandoms-stuff : Heyyy could I request a five imagine where he is like super overprotective of his s/o??
Fandom: The Umbrella Academy
Warnings: sorta mentions suicide but not directly, unrequited love, ANGST MAJOR BIG TIME
Word Count: 3775 (10.1 pages)
A/N: So this literally was requested to me in like May, I know I’m the worst. Also, I sort of wrote this a bit differently to the request, but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out and I hope you like it too!
Y/N was number eight of the infamous 8 Hargreeves siblings born on that fateful day. Her birth mother was young, just graduated high school, and wasn't ready for a child. She was too scared to tell her parents of the events that had taken place the day the mystery child was born and decided to do what she thought was best at the time: leave her on the side of the street alone to probably freeze or starve to death. But thankfully, Reginald Hargreeves, a well-known scientist and self-made billionaire picked you up before you got your undesired fate and you became part of the world-renowned group of kid supers: The Umbrella Academy.
Of course, she should be thankful for where she was today. That she's lucky enough to still be living and breathing the not-so-fresh air of downtown Toronto, but you couldn't blame her for not doing so, not when she's always in a position like this.
Y/N sat hunched over the bench of the training room and had a strong feeling that if she moved at all your lunch would escape your stomach. She always hated training, preferring to sit in the rather large living room and reading a nice, long book. But with someone like our father always breathing down her neck, that's not gonna happen for some time.
Out of all of our brothers and sisters, Y/N was considered to be the strongest Hargreeve child, being able to summon fire at the simple thought of it. She was able to control and properly use her powers at a young age, which was critical considering there isn't a lot of mistakes she could've made before someone goes six feet under.
Although being the most powerful was considered a gift, she always thought of it as a curse. All the pressure to be the greatest was always put on her.
"You ready for the next round, princess?" I asked from behind her, having not even broken a sweat in the past hour and a half.
"Oh fuck off, prick," she said back, not being able to stop the smile breaking through her frown as she shook her head at me, leaning her head against the cool wall, her beautiful y/h/c hair sliding along the brick with her.
Who am I you might ask? Well Five Hargreeves of course, the fifth Hargreeves sibling, if you haven't guessed already. See, technically, I wasn't in any way Y/N's "brother", but in all ways, she was my best friend. We were almost exact opposites, but also the same person at the same time. I would go as far as to say we're soulmates, only brought to this absolute hellhole we call home just for our fate of meeting each other.
Now that I think of it, all of these factors might be contributing to some growing feelings for the girl, add for the bonus that she's truly the most beautiful girl I think I've ever laid eyes on, but like hell I was going to tell anybody, let alone her.
"Hey, seriously Y/N/N, you alright there?" I said as I make my way over to where she was and kneeled beside her on the bench. Ever since we were young, I always felt like I had to protect her. I know she doesn't need it, she's the strongest person I know,- physically and emotionally- but I just wanted her to be safe.
"Hello? C'mon, Y/N you're seriously starting to scare me now," I say as I take a seat beside her and put a hand on her shoulder. She tilted her head slightly to look over at me, squinting against the harsh light of the room and trying to offer a smile, but it turned out more like a grimace. I gave her a pitiful smile and put my arm under her arms and lifted her up, leaning her body against mine.
I could tell she felt disgusting, her stomach doing somersaults inside of her and she tapped my shoulder, silently asking me to let her down. I did so carefully, placing her gently on the ground where she practically collapsed to the floor, groaning. I kneeled beside her again, my heartbeat rising in worry as I brushed the wet hair stuck to her forehead away from her pretty face. I wore a worried expression on my face, looking over her very pale looking one, analyzing every detail I could soak in. I have never seen her this sick before, and I can't help but let my mind wander to what the worst scenario could be.
"Five?" she whispered, feeling her throat constrict around her words. She looked up at me as I bit my lip in worry, looking over her face, connecting her constellation of freckles. I sigh when I hear her voice, smiling down at the girl.
"Yeah? What's up, Y/N/N," I say softly, using the nickname for her from our childhood. I see the mention of it makes her smile. Something in me hoped this would be the moment where she would finally admit her mutual feelings for me, finally tell me that she loved me just as much as I did her. Something cliche and romantic like in that stupid movie The Titanic she made me watch with her just the other week.
Suddenly I feel my body tumble to the ground, and just as I was about to jump up again, my wrists were pinned to the ground. I look up right above me and grin, seeing Y/N hovering over me, her hands burning my wrists slightly while holding them to the ground.
"Damn, Five," she jokes as she lets go of my hands, still sitting on top of me, not that I mind to be completely honest. "You're a great fighter, but so easy to distract." She blows off her hands, which began to tint red. I rubbed my wrists where she had been holding me down and smirked at her.
"Can't blame me, darling," I say as I sit up, her still not moving from her straddling position on top of me. "With a face like yours, anyone could get distracted." She rolls her eyes, not thinking twice about my comment. She's used to hearing them from me, sometimes I wish she knew I truly meant them.
"Oh really?" She smiles back at me, putting her hands around my neck and looks at me right in the eye. It's moments like this where I question our friendship, maybe it could mean more to her. I look up at her in adoration, not that she catches it, of course. She never seems to realize. She looks at me a different way now, with an emotion I can't currently place, and tilts her head. "Can I ask you a question, Five?" She says quietly, almost a whisper.
"Of course, anything." My head is racing as I answer her. Could this be it? I mean the situation seems fitting, considering your position, literally. She hesitates before she answers, picking out her words carefully.
"Can I have a glass of water? I'm absolutely parched," she gasped out, teasing smile ghosting her features. I looked at her with bewildered eyes, trying to find my words. Water? Seriously?
"Water? Seriously?" I blurt out without thinking. My eyes go wide as I shut my mouth just as fast as I opened it. Now it was her turn to look at me crazy. She let out a dry laugh (literally because her throat was becoming the Sahara desert).
"Well, yeah. That workout beat the shit outta me and now I'm thirsty," she groaned as she lifted herself up to support her body on her elbows, me quickly placing a hand on her back to help. I shake my head at myself for actually thinking that was going to happen. As much as I hated to admit it, Y/N would never feel that way for me, I know she could only love me as a brother. After shaking myself out of my thoughts I nodded, a small 'yeah sure' leaving my lips as I quickly got up and proceeded over to the kitchen for that glass of water.
As I grabbed the glass from the top shelf and turned on the tap, I realized for the first time that I was in deep shit, and it was too late to try and dig myself out of it.
And that was the first time I realized I was in love with Y/N Hargreeves.
It had been a couple of months since the training room incident, and somehow I've managed to keep my mouth shut on the discovery. As much as I tried to avoid contact with Y/N at first, I knew it was wrong, selfish. Well, I didn't realize at first until Klaus came running into my bedroom, screaming at me because I made Y/N cry. Just the thought of tears in her y/e/c eyes made me go even crazier, and to know I had been the cause of them was the end of that.
So things went back to the way they were before, mostly. As normal as you could get after realizing you're in love with someone and have to keep that in the back of your mind and pretend to be just a friend if you know what I mean. If you do know what I mean I feel terribly sorry for you, because it hasn't even been more than a few weeks and I feel like I'm dying.
I push the staircase door open to enter the dingy lobby of the low-grade apartment building Y/N and I are staked out on. I walk across the ugly patterned carpet, avoiding eye contact with the staff at the front desk and walk over to the vending machine.
As I look through the choices, I realize I have never heard of any of these brands and should probably not eat whatever is in the rusting machine, but nonetheless grab a couple of bags of chips in Y/N's favourite flavour, even though they're not really my cup of tea. Then I begin my trek back up the fifteen-story building, since using the elevator isn't quite an option, due to it being "worked on", mentally preparing myself to greet Y/N again.
I finally get to the roof of the building, panting slightly as I push open the heavy metal door. "Hey Y/N I-" I begin to talk until I see what's in front of me. My eyes blow wide as I drop the bags of chips and run over to Y/N, who was standing at the edge of the building, arms spread out and eyes closed, her hair blowing wildly in the wind. She was obviously startled by my little outburst and starts to lose balance but I grab her waist and tackle her to the loose rock ground of the roof.
"What the fuck, Five?!" She screams, hands up and eyes squeezed shut, her cheeks going red. I sigh in relief and roll off of her and onto my back beside her, my hand over my chest. She opens her eyes and looks over at me, an angry expression taking over her face and specks of red appearing in her eyes. She was pissed. "Well? I asked you a fucking question!"
"You're asking me?" I said back, equally as angry. "Y/N what the hell were you doing up there? What if something happened?" I said as I push myself up to a sitting position, her doing the same as her hands get hot.
"Nothing was going to happen to me, Five! Not until you scared the shit out of me and I almost fell off the building!" She replies, her breathing getting heavy. I roll my eyes and laugh sarcastically.
"You think I'm the one who scared the shit out of you? Y/N what was I supposed to think when I see you standing on the edge of a 15 story high building like that?" I say, my hands flying around in absurd gestures as I try to show her my point, but she obviously wasn't getting it.
"It wasn't like that and you know it!" Y/N screamed back. At this point, her eyes had a bright red glow, something that happened when her powers were being triggered. I knew if I even tried to touch her hands I'd get a third-degree burn. "Jesus, Five, I don't need you breathing down my neck like that all the time, I already got dad for that!"
"Well, I'm sorry that I was worried about you!" My voice reached its peak intensity. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay! Because I lo-" I stop myself, breathing deeply as I look up at her. I catch my breath before I continue. "Because I care about you, Y/N. Is that such a fucking crime." I say, much quieter this time. She looks on at me, mouth opened slightly but still disappointed. She averts her gaze and shakes her head, looking at her worn-down shoes.
"The two of you just messed up this mission with your childish bickering!" our father's voice rings through the silent breeze. Y/N sighs, shuffling over to where the tiny radio laid in a pile of pebbles. "you two will be greatly punished! This couldn've been one of the biggest-" his voice stops abruptly as she ticked the switch on the side to off, and put it in her pocket as she made her way towards the stair door, but stops as she walks in front of me, not facing me.
"I appreciate the effort Five, but I don't need a saviour," she said in a voice so low even the wind overpowered it. "And now you've cost us the mission. Good fucking job, superman." And I watched as she rushes away from me, the door slamming behind her as I try to find something, anything in me to move, to follow her and apologize, admit that she was right.
And that was the second time I realized I loved her, as she walked away, sniffling and trying to keep her tears at bay. I knew at that moment I would do anything if it meant I'd never make her feel like that again.
The failed New York case had been just a week ago, and Y/N took every chance she could to escape me. I don't blame her, what I did was wrong, and she was right. It was oddly quiet without her. I would spend most of my time just sitting in my bedroom, reading a book, waiting for her to burst in and throw it across the room as she pulls me out to explore with her. Every time I would groan and protest when she did that, hoping I could finally have some reading time alone in the peace and quiet, but as I found myself in that position I prayed to be in so many times, I wished for her to come back. Be careful what you wish for, I guess.
It was dinner time and everyone ate silently, the only sound in the room being the clinking of utensils on plates and Herr Carlson talking about mountain climbing techniques. Y/N sat across from me, her eyes trained down onto her steak dinner mom prepared. She pushed her beans around the plate. She hates beans, they make her feel sick. I stare at her, not being able to take my eyes away from her, praying she would look up. I know she could tell I was looking at her.
I watched as everyone did their own thing at the table. Ben was reading, Diego was carving something into his chair, Klaus was rolling another blunt, Allison and Luther were making disgusting goo-goo eyes at each other, and Vanya was the only one who was really eating. I look down the table at my father, his perfectly groomed mustache twitching as he chewed on his steak.
Before I could control myself I stabbed my knife into the table, causing a loud bang to ring through the dining room. "I have a question," my question comes out coldly. I could feel everyone's eyes on me, but I kept mine on my father, who was still looking down at his plate.
"Knowledge is an admirable goal, but you know the rule, Number 5. No talking at the dinner table. You are interrupting Herr Carlson!" My father finally looks up at me. I glare at him as I harshly push my food away from me.
"I want to time travel," I speak out.
"Five," I hear Y/N whisper out, warning me. I can't help but glance over at her; she looks worried.
"But I'm ready!" I argue. She sighs, shaking her head and bringing her attention back to her meal. I turn my gaze back to Reginald. "I've been practising my spatial jumps, just like you've told me." As I finish my sentence I stand up and a blue light takes over me, teleporting me to beside him. "See?"
"A spatial jump is trivial when compared to the unknowns of time travel." He countered back. I rolled my eyes, I'm so tired of this shit every time. "One is like sliding along the ice, the other is akin to descending blindly into the depths of the freezing waters and reappearing as an acorn." I look at him like he's a crazy old man, which per se he is.
"Well, I don't get it," I say in a quieter voice, but my attitude the same. he glances up at me and reaches for his glass, taking a sip of the undoubtedly expensive red wine.
"Hence the reason why you're not ready." He says as if it's the end of the discussion. I avert my gaze, my eyes distinctively looking right towards Y/N, who was already looking at me. She shook her head lightly, mouthing 'please'. She was silently telling me to give it up, it's not worth it. If it were any other day I might have listened to her. I know I should have.
"I'm not afraid," I say still looking at her. I can't read her expression, but I could tell she was getting anxious by the way her eyebrows were scrunching together and how she brought her bottom lip between her teeth, biting hard.
"Fear isn't the issue. The effects it might have on your body, even your mind, are far too unpredictable." Reginald says, making me tear my eyes away from hers as he slams his own cutlery on the table. "Now I forbid you to talk of this subject any further." I sigh, looking around the room once more. Y/N's eyes were still looking right through me. I ignore her as I run out of the room, hearing my father calling for me from the table.
I push the doors of the academy open and walk down the street. It was a nice fall evening, just a little chilly. I think of a time period in the future, how about mid-July a year from now? Just as I was about to push forward I heard something.
"Five!" I could recognize the voice in my sleep. I turn around and see Y/N running after me. I stop so she could catch up, she was already panting by the time she came up in front of me. Her breaths were heavy as she analyzed me. "Please don't do this. Just come home."
Hearing her speak like this after her being so rude to me made anger bubble in my chest. "Oh, so now you want to talk to me? After ignoring the whole week?" I spurt out without thinking. I watch as her expression changed from worried to frustrated.
"Listen, Five, I was angry and I wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, okay? But I think I at least deserve an apology too." She says back. I let out a cold laugh, shaking my head as I look back at her.
"So now I'm apologizing for saving your life? Oh, I'm sorry, how rude of me. I should've let you fall off the fucking building." I say. I don't know why I say it, and I know I shouldn't, it wasn't true. I was just so piped up.
"You don't mean that, Five," she says quietly, trying to hold back the tears surfacing in her bright Y/E/C eyes. I lick my lips as I looked down, choosing not to respond. She continues. "I know you didn't mean any harm; I overreacted. I understand."
"No, you don't," I say quietly. I felt speechless, but at the same time, I was saying everything at once. I look back up at her and she looked confused. "You don't understand what it's like for me. You don't understand what it would be like for me if something ever happened to you, knowing it was my fault. You don't understand how protective I get when we're fighting criminals and they hurt you in any way. You don't understand when we're training and you better me, how that makes me feel. You don't understand what it's like when you don't come into my room and throw my book and drag me out to go exploring around the house, even though we've seen every part of it. You don't understand what it's like when you fall asleep on my shoulder after begging me to watch whatever stupid rom-com with you. You don't understand what it's like watching you go out with all those douchebag boys, knowing I could do better, be better. You don't understand what it's like to be slowing falling more and more in love with you every day, just for you to think of me as not only your 'best friend' but worse, your brother! You'll never understand."
Her mouth was open as if she was trying to reply but couldn't find the right words. I waited for her to say something, anything really, but I got nothing. As she slowly took her eyes away from mine and looked at the ground I scoffed, shaking my head. "Yeah, that's what I thought," I mumble before I turn around and push myself to a different year.
And that was the last time I eve saw Y/N L/N. Well until now, 45 years later.
[Look out for part two my loves ;)]
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