𑣲𝓂 Thoughts About the Donquixote Brothers 𝓂𑣲
He has an intense, irrational fear of fire. His brother constantly burning himself does not help, of course.
He is a neat freak. His room and office have to be spotless.
He doesn't like anyone seeing him without his glasses, even his own brother.
He's incredibly petty, and will get his revenge one way or the other.
He has extravagant birthday parties every year. For him and for every member of his Family.
He loves that he towers over most people.
He's blind in one eye because of the arrow the peasants had shot him with during their childhood.
He has nightmares more often than not. This is why he mostly takes short naps than having a full nights sleep.
He's a very light sleeper, too, and even the slightest of sounds wake him up.
He's very picky with his food, and doesn't really eat much.
Sometimes he forgets to eat all together, and only realizes it when he gets dizzy.
He's proud of being a Celestial Dragon, even if he looks down of the other World Nobles back at Mariejois.
He cares about his appearence. Special shampoo for his hair, skin cleansing products, expensive parfumes, etc... he has it all.
For him -> Loving=Owning/Obedience. You are his, and his to take care of, his to love, his to pamper, and his to use. You love him, so you should be fine with doing whatever it takes to help him reach his goal, right? If you don't listen to him, then you don't love him, either.
He hates silence, and always has music playing in the background when he works.
He gets bored easily. Peaceful routines makes him restless. He can't help but think something is going to get wrong. This is also why he's so controlling.
He enjoys luxury obsessively. Expensive wine, silk sheets, rare food, gold decorations, slaves from faraway lands...This is his own way of reclaiming the life he has lost. He's really fixated on it, too.
He hates getting touched. Even casual things like hand shaking, hugging, arms around his shoulder, or a small hand on his back irritate him to no end. He tolerates it from his Family, and is only fine when Rocinante does it.
Rocinante rarely did, and most of the time Doflamingo had to initiate it. This also made him very antsy.
He was really taken aback from his brother's aloof and cold attitude when he first came back, since he mostly dreamed of that shy, clingy little boy from back then. He never really thought the world would "break him this much."
He tests people constantly, and pushes their buttons.
He probably drinks more than he should, especially when he's reminded of the past and feels melancholy.
He absolutely spoils the shit out of his loved ones. Think of this as compensation for his unending control and possessiveness.
For him, it's bizzare to see people acting with actually genuine kindness. He just can't understand it. (And makes him feel like something is wrong with him, especially so when he sees his brother.) ->He would never admit this, of course, not even in his dead bed.
Everyone knows Baby 5 is his favorite.
The only people he kinda had a romantic thing for were Violet, Crocodile and Vergo. Monet had a one-sided love for him, too, but he never really cared enough to notice it.
He would rather destroy something or someone than lose them.
His crew learned how to read his mood from small things like how wide his grin is, the way he taps his fingers, from how still and silent he is, etc...
He avoids looking at the mirror after his brother's dead, because he can't help but see Rocinante in his own image. Especially so when his hair goes down after taking a shower. This is why he cuts it so short later.
He hated the idea that he might grow to look like his father back when he was a teen.
He has severe abandonment issues, actually, and doesn't believe in unconditional love (anymore). It got worse after everything that happened with his brother.
Sometimes he makes string clones of his family, even his father. He doesn't really know why he makes one for that man, either, but the way he's slowly forgetting his mother and brother's faces makes him upset.
He has a really idealized image of his mother, like an angel who did no wrong.
He likes to have at least one meal where every member of his crew is present.
He hates the idea that one day, after he's dead, history will forget about him.
His love is harsh and rough, even when he doesn't mean to.
He doesn't think he's capable of change, and doesn't want to.
He actually can't remember a time where Rocinante wasn't by his side.
He spends the day of his brother's death anniversary alone, drinking.
He sometimes fantasizes about having his own family, a wife and a kid. He likes to think he would be a better man to them than his own father was.
Rocinante's betrayal actually came out of nowhere to him. He was genuinely an absolute blind spot he didn't know he had and he hates that he was that vulnerable at one point in his life.
He really never understood why his brother chose Law/Marines/the others over him. Shouldn't blood mean more than anyone, anything, else?
Deep down, a little part of him had wanted Rocinante to shoot him that day. Maybe to end his misery, or maybe to just prove that he had truly abandoned him. Even he doesn't know.
He had felt guily about leaving him that day, and had searched for him for years before having to accept that he was either dead, or did not want to found.
He really thought his brother was the only person that understood and accepted him before all that. A part of him died that day with Rocinante, but he still refused to feel regret.
He has an obsession with fire, and likes to stare at his lighter while smoking.
He's quite messy, and dirt doesn't really bother him.
Being so tall and looking down on most of his colleagues makes him feel a bit awkward, actually.
He doesn't really like celebrating his own birthday. It makes him really self-conscious and embarased when they sing to him and give gifts.
He also has lots of nightmares. At least, he's a pretty deep sleeper.
He loves having a routine and structure, even if he struggles to keep up with it.
He would eat anything, snd is not at all picky. His only problem is that he doesn't know when to stop, because the thought of wasting food is very agitating to him.
When he inevitably throws up after eating so much, he feels even more guilt.
He likes that, as a Marine, he doesn't have to think about what to wear and just wear the standart uniform provided to them.
He feels shame about his heritage, and hates the fact that he has Celestial Dragon blood in him. Sometimes it makes him wonder if it makes him less of a person.
He did have a few crushes (Bell-mère, anyone?), but never did anything about it. He doesn't think he "deserves" it, and the idea that his presence in their lives might make things worse in them just stops him from every confessing his love.
He hoards food and saves money constantly because he's afraid he'll go through "that" again.
Other Marines in his station either thought he was a weirdo, or did not notice him at all.
He loves to sit somewhere and listen to people go about their ways.
He doesn't like expensive things, because "what if he needs the money later?" He just can't rationalize spending so much money on clothes, jewelry, or even food.
He is terrible at receiving compliments.
He actually craves physical intimacy, like hugging and having an arm around his shoulder. He only ever does it with Sengoku, though. Whenever Doflamingo touches him, he can't help but shiver and flich away.
It actually surprised him how touchy his brother was with him.
Sometimes it sickens him how much he still cares about Doflamingo, despite knowing everything he does, and he feels guilty. It's as if he's betraying Sengoku, the Marines, and all those innocent people.
He doesn't think he or his brother is "above humans," but he doesn't see them as "humans," either. They just have this "otherness," as if they were some creatures that imitated humans.
This feeling is also why he doesn't really have any meaningful connections with other people.
He genuinely wants to help and better the world. It's freakish to him how selfish some people can be and go out of their way to hurt others just for the fun of it.
He's actually really childish but rarely shows it.
The first time he saw his brother's bounty, he did not know what to feel and just went numb.
He had suicidal ideation ever since the Marines found him and wanted to die "for the greater good." He thought this was the only way to atone for "being born."
He both loves and hates his brother. This duality made him use his devil fruit to "silence" himself, so he wouldn't spill anything to Doflamingo. He thought if he ever did actually talk, he would ruin everything, because how else could he hide all these feelings?
He started smoking after some of the older cadets pressured him to try it.
He secretly collected his brother's bounties, and hid them under the mattress.
He was afraid that the other Marines would make the connection that he was connected to Doflamingo, and think that he was just as "rotten" as him.
He avoided looking at the mirror because he saw Doflamingo in himself.
He often dreamed of having a normal life with his parents and brother.
Sometimes he uses his Devil Fruit to silence his own thoughts and feelings.
He absolutely cannot cook.
He constantly forgets where he put his cigarettes and spends half the day searching for them.
He hates seeing children cry. Like, genuinely cannot handle it. Even when he was pretending to hate kids, he’d get visibly uncomfortable if one actually started sobbing.
He cries a lot, even after he became an adult. He just learned to hide it better.
He doesn't like eating with other people because he can't help but feel like someone is going to steal his meal from him.
Despite everything, part of him always hoped Doflamingo would still change (for him).
He probably blamed himself for not noticing how far gone Doflamingo truly was sooner, even though he was just a child himself.
He tends to disappear when he's hurt, be it physically or emotionally.
He falls asleep in weird places constantly. Chairs, floors, hallways, leaning against walls... As a Marine, he learned to rest whenever he can, after all.
Getting into a crowd still terrifies him. He can't help but feel like they'll turn into that angry mob from his childhood and hurt him again.
He never truly believed he deserved a happy ending for himself. Saving Law was the happy ending in his mind.
He never imagined that someone could ever fall in love with him, let alone marry and have his own family.
He knew that he would be killed one day, and made peace with that a long time ago.
Sengoku was the only one who he ever bothered to open up to, but even he didn't know much about him.
He knew that Doflamingo would be the one to put a bullet in him the moment he agreed to spy on him, because he could never shoot his own brother, even if it meant making others suffer his cruelty.
No one ever truly knew the kind of person he was. His likes and dislikes, his favorite color, his dreams and fears, what he had hoped for the future, even the kind of music he loved... He died as a traitor, a Marine hero, a beloved adopted son, and a benefactor. But Rocinante himself? He died alone, just as he had lived.
No one really visited his grave other than Sengoku, and sometimes Garp and Tsuru.
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