( & IT DOESN'T HURT * )

Kim Ah Young. 21. SNU student.

[lgcjinseo]

Beautiful Target | Ahyoung

-

As he pulls up to one of those hole-in-the-wall chimaek places near Seoul National University, it suddenly occurs to him that he forgot to ask for Daeyeol’s friend’s name. Sighing, he grits his teeth as he decides to start looking at all the tables to find his brother. 

[spxahyoung]

there’s the faint burning in her chest that she’s all too familiar with as she struggles to stand under the weight of her friend leaning into her. daeyeol and ahyoung had been talking often than before after the attack, at first out of concern which then progressed into platonic comfort they’ve found in each other. daeyeol being daeyeol, and ahyoung being ahyoung, they’d planned to meet for a night out with mutual friends- there’s only a few ways that university students can blow off steam in seoul: most of them consisting drinking themselves half to death.

at first she lets him act like his usual drunk self, immersed with her own conversations while daeyeol roams around like a hyperactive beagle. dizzy headed herself, time passes all too quickly for her to notice with a drink in her hand. it’s when he face plants with his phone in his hand which causes ahyoung to start getting really concerned. an unspoken rule has been established between the group that it’s ahyoung who’s to take care of drunk daeyeol, and she gets up from her seat in a hurry to kneel besides her semi-conscious friend. “daeyeol, i know this is supposed to be your last night but-” she stops short when his phone lights up, reading the caller i.d. 

blinking slowly, she picks up the call hesitantly while pulling daeyeol up with her free hand. “hello-” she huffs, pulling him towards the table, “sorry if this is a bad timing-” it probably is “-but daeyeol is really, really drunk. and he needs a ride home.” because there’s no way she’s brining him to her apartment. “i’d wait all night for him to sober up, but i have a lecture i can’t miss at 7 in the morning so-” her weak explanation is interrupted when daeyeol folds over, vomiting half of everything he’d consumed in the past couple of hours. “...please get here as quick as possible.” she hangs up before patting him on the back as he heaves into the plastic bucket one of the waitresses placed on the floor in disgust. 

“hey, try not to throw up on yourself. you already smell bad enough already.” she makes a face. “wait here, okay? i’m going to get you a glass of water.” she’s not sure if he’s even listening. ahyoung gets up to fetch a glass before slamming her shoulders with someone. “oof-” she mumbles. “ow. sorry, my ba-” ahyoung squints, recognizing the face under the dim lights. “oh! hey, there you are.” with the alcohol in her system, she doesn’t think twice before wrapping her fingers around his wrist to pull him towards the table where his brother is sprawled across at, asleep. “he was throwing up a minute ago. i think he’s good now, though. you arrived at the right time, i guess.” 

[diimented]

[ First Candidate ]

[diimented]

a pretty young woman who was full of ambition, the raven head assessed as soon as the former entered the quiet room. 

there were many assumptions floating in Sun’s mind. some indicating that the nameless woman – who now goes by the name kim ah young – probably belonged to a middle class or a higher class family. studied at a reputable university and was now trying to apply for a job to either support her and her family or, make a name for herself within the working status and climb up the ranks to be a successful business woman. there was no in between as that was what Sun was forced to go through during her age.

but the bottom line was, kim ah young was just the same as any other candidates. so, what was it that would make her stand out from the rest? well, not wanting to beat around the bush, the older woman jumped right at it and said, “good morning. take a seat.”

“tell me something about yourself. your motive behind wanting to work here, what’s your goal and such. anything that would appeal to me if you would please. ” Sun requested, her russet eyes staring right into ahyoung’s – and hopefully the latter wouldn’t find it intimidating as all Sun wanted to do was get a good read at her.

[spxahyoung]

it’s always the first candidate that determines how the rest of the interviews would go, and ahyoung keeps her hands from trembling by clasping them together as she sits down. oh- her eyes flicker down to her hands when she realizes how clammy they are. despite this, she takes a deep breath and looks straight ahead to meet the woman’s eyes- well, she’s been through enough interviews to feign some confidence. 

her hands tighten around each other, and ahyoung swallows. “i’m a 21 year old student studying at seoul national university, a business major. me wanting to work here started during my first year in university when we had to do a case study on the company, and the leaderships shown to the employees during the financial crisis back in 1997 left a very deep impression on me. i myself want to learn and grow under the hard working and motivating employers here and one day i’d like to work on at least the same ranks as them.” she pauses. her goal- it’s nothing grand. just get a good job, be financially secure, buy a nice apartment for her father. “my goal is to... in the near term, i’m planning to graduate with my degree and develop myself to become the best employee as possible. learning as much as i can about the role. in the longer term, i’d like to develop to the point that I become that go-to person whom others rely upon for the most current information. and eventually I would like to become a lead and mentor to help others developing in their respective roles." there, a model answer. 

after everything, surely she’s allowed to boast just a little. “i’ve learnt how to become independent from a very young age. i take responsibility very seriously and i’m always looking ways to improve myself and learn.” she struggles to keep the eye contact- it’s like the woman’s gaze is burning right through her. 

[spxahyoung]

sweet talk ❜

[himchanspx-blog]

It’s not difficult to see just how close she is to just break down at any second and Himchan almost starts to feel bad for her. Almost. They are a thousand in her case, struggling to pay the bills and graduate and if he has to feel bad for each single one of them, he probably wouldn’t have any time to think about other - and more important - stuff. It’s just an uncomfortable situation, one that grips at their throats and suffocates them - he understands that, he has seen many of his comrades in College struggling to survive another day as they didn’t know whether they’d have food to eat for dinner or enough time to study the five upcoming tests. But the most important is that they didn’t die, and he knows that she isn’t going to die either. She’ll work hard and she’ll eventually get rid of this suffocating grip. “Hang on.” Crap. That was supposed to be a thought, not something to tell out loud. His lips curl into a gentle smile nonetheless. “Despite the fact that you look like you’re about to go crazy, you’re still fighting to succeed. And you will– Each new day is a battle that you win.” He nods slowly but quickly looks away, almost feeling embarrassed by the sincere tone he has employed to try and cheer her up. “Well,” He clears his throat. “I just think that crying over homework isn’t worth it. Might as well cry over a good book or movie– Something that makes you feel.” He really is the king of bullshit. 

Her obvious embarrassment has Himchan chuckling, covering his mouth with a loose fist as he gazes at the girl for a second and he can barely contain the smug grin that tugs at the corner of his lips when she tries to divert the conversation towards another topic. Flustering people is always so amusing, the way they squirm and try to get themselves out of an unexpected situation is a form of entertainment he wouldn’t give up for nothing in the world. “Refreshed, huh?” He repeats, laughter lacing his tone before he shrugs his shoulders. He doubts that ‘I had a good fuck last night’ is an answer she wants and needs to hear so he settles for: “Six hours of sleep every nights and healthy meals. Cliche but it works, believe me. And between the two of us, a great BB Cream.” He grins, sending a wink her way as if he has just shared one of his most important secrets with her and her only. “I’m 26 years old.” He replies after a beat, crossing his arms on top of the table. Another question arises and he doesn’t quite know what to do about her curiosity. He regrets slightly that he has sat down in front of her to strike up a conversation and he can only blame himself but random conversations are what he does well, all days in any kind of situation whether it’s at the cafe or at the agency. “Well, I try to look at the positive side of things, I guess. It makes things easier when you’re smiling in front of a stressful situation rather than focusing on what could go wrong.” Which means that the adrenaline makes him go reckless and crazy when he is shot at or has to engage in a fight. It’s funny, to run off and avoid flying bullets. Or maybe, what’s funnier is how he escapes the big scary Death each time. “Life’s too short to worry about negative things. And it gives you wrinkles.” 

[spxahyoung]

ahyoung laughs. “aren’t i pathetic?” the words slip without her realizing it, but she’s not even embarrassed by them by this point- the other probably has heard enough already to be surprised by her outburst. one day, sooner or later, she knows something is going to snap. then she’s going to calm down for a few days, and then the stress will build up before she bursts again- a vicious cycle. she places a hand on her face when he does confirm that she looks terrible, wincing inwardly. maybe she should use some of the face packs that jinah has stocked up in the bathroom. she doesn’t completely neglect taking care of herself, if she’s being honest now that she thinks about it. 

six hours of sleep and healthy meals. “hahaha.” her laugh comes out as robotic, flat. “maybe in another life.” she grumbles. but a good bb cream she could manage, unless it’s not too expensive. “you’re five years older than me?” ahyoung eyes him in surprise. did he mix in a bunch of anti aging cream with his makeup? was he born in a rich family to have two great jobs? did he save his country in his past life? the positive side of things rather than focusing on what could go wrong. she toys the idea in her head, wondering if that can be possible with her constantly tense personality. gaze falling onto her cake and the latte, now gone cold, she grabs the fork before scraping a small piece from her dessert. “um,” che clears her throat, pressing the tip of the fork onto her lower lip. “i’m ahyoung, by the way.” she pauses, wondering if telling someone who now knows about half her life story her name. wasn’t the point of telling a stranger about your tragic backstory was that you won’t ever meet them again? was a name necessary. “too late.” she mumbles to herself as she takes a sip of her drink. ahyoung glances at her phone, checking the time. “oh,” crap, it was way past closing time. she shoots him a sheepish look before pushing her books into her bag. “i didn’t know i talked for that long. i’m sorry.” 

into the past ❜

[spxahyoung]

spxjung:

Soojung had never been the “looped arms and walking downtown together” kind of girl. In fact, she hardly had anyone to do that with considering her lack of social graces and rather introverted personality. But the Jung Soojung that was Kim Ahyoung’s friend enjoyed their walks and had a personality to compliment the other’s just right. That version of her was, of course, made to be the other’s ideal friend. 

“That’s alright, I’m just glad we both had time to meet up today.” She looks at the other with a grin. Some part of genuine despite her denial that it was. “How about hot chocolate at your place? We can catch up on all that’s happened lately since it’s been a while.” This was a mission, she wasn’t  really Ahyoung’s friend, her personality wasn’t bright, she wasn’t friendly. But after spending the last few months pretending to be this other person around Ahyoung, Soojung was beginning to believe that she was all those things.

“same! how long has it been the last time the two of us hung out together?” soojung was just as busy as ahyoung was, and both had struggled to find the time to spend together. they first both met each other at the bar that ahyoung still works at, and have been friends ever since- it’s been more or less a year. despite ahyoung’s wary knee-jerk reactions to almost everything, soojung was easy to approach.

“oh,” she pauses, her thoughts flashing back to the mess that she’s left at home. hopefully jinah cleaned up a little before she left for the lab, but she doubts it. both would be out all day and night and come back to sleep for a few hours before rushing back out to work save for the weekend, having the time to clean the apartment would be a luxury to both the roommates. “yeah, if you don’t mind the mess that’s been piling up for weeks.” ahyoung laughs, tugging her arm towards the bus stop. “should we stop by a store to buy some snacks? i don’t think there’s a lot of food in the apartment.” 

[spxahyoung]

aleatory ❜

[dedvct-deactivated20200105]

Jonghyun thought touching would alleviate any idea preceding from his words. He wasn’t reprimanding her for jumping to conclusions, thus he figured some form of reassurance would be fitting. In spite of being himself not the touchy person, because he wasn’t used to deal with her; he thought the cautionary movement, leisured at that, would be enough to ease her to it if she was uncomfortable. But it seemed that everything he tried with good intentions fell short or translated different. 

Jonghyun sighed as he heard her at the other end of the stool.

He was growing tense, and it was as if Jonghyun was brought back to the time he was forced to deal with children; he was adept at adapting, manipulating people into thinking he meant something when he had meant another. Reading and acting came easier if he knew what he was dealing with (and he didn’t). However to be upfront and not so calculating… it crumbled under his feet. He had never known delivering a certain tact could be so hard. It often came naturally to him, so it wasn’t exactly something he struggled with. Granted, he’d always fumbled with emotions. But this..?

It was a complex dilemma, and he decided not trouble himself with it too much. Dealing with people was always trial and error. if he worked it out, he’d find out what made her tick. But he didn’t know if it’d be a good idea to figure her out. It would require further interaction, observation, and he was unsure if he wanted to meet those conditions yet. He wasn’t a bad liar. The stakes were simply high when it came to getting tangled with civilians… Stop considering it. “Don’t apologize.” He said. “I shouldn’t..” I shouldn’t have answered “It’s okay.” he listened.

He remained silent, expectant. It wouldn’t be a first he’d been used for it, although he didn’t mind it. People fascinated him, even while his interest could be selective; the male never denied others, he couldn’t. He was an enabler to the core. “You didn’t.” He glanced to the glassware assorted beyond him, reaching for it; he started tucking each in the drawer underneath him. He wouldn’t press on the family subject, nonetheless.

 “Why don’t you go instead? I have nothing else to do. I wouldn’t sleep after this, regardless.” He contained a wince for revealing that. “Anyways, I should be the one apologizing. I’m sorry.” He lowered himself, craning his neck as he extended his arm to place an object. “Go home, Ahyoung. Your father must be worried, and I’m sorry for your loss.” He straightened slowly. “I’ll say we did it together if someone asks.” he chuckled. “I promise.”

[spxahyoung]

“my dad knows that i work here, and we’ve already messaged each other we’ll be getting home pretty late, it’s fine.” at least she had the comfort of working at a cozy bar despite working late, her father had to handle staying up dealing with drunkards and wife beaters under the harsh fluorescent lights. “um, it’s fine. it’s been almost ten years since it happened anyway.” her fingers curl tightly into fists before she finally gives him proper eye contact. 

as much as she envies people born with silver spoons in their mouths, ahyoung always does her part, most of the times even more. she gives him a slight shake of the head, grabbing a glass beneath them. “we can- we can close up the bar together, then.” still feeling guilty about making him talk about something so personal, ahyoung makes an attempt to follow his lead- lighten up the mood. it was he who approached her with good intentions in the first place, the most she can do is to do the same instead of pushing him away out of indirect jealousy. 

she’s never been the type to push people away, but nor was she the type to make friends easily. not selective, but cautious in nature, ahyoung owns up to the fact that she doesn’t have a lot of friends- save for a few close ones. if she’s going to work her way up as she cries and sweats blood, she may as well do it with some comfort from the people around her. jonghyun has been nothing but nice to her, she shouldn’t have been so rash about her judgement on him. she wonders how much she’s made him feel uncomfortable for the past year for being so overly sensitive. 

“when was the last time you’ve eaten?” she asks. “it’s 4 am now so it’s been a while since i had dinner.” ahyoung pauses, giving him a hesitant smile. “uh, can i treat you something in between dinner and breakfast? there’s a 24 hour place nearby that makes really good noodles. feeling full might help you sleep, too.” 

[spxahyoung]

aleatory ❜

[dedvct-deactivated20200105]

Jonghyun feels like he’s spiraling at that moment, her body language and her answer unsettles him. He said something wrong, and he backtracks in order to find the source. Looks aren’t everything… Indeed.

He hasn’t tuned her out, nonetheless. He processes things with keen receptiveness because he refuses to find himself disconcerted anew. It’s almost instinctual to desire to be on top of it all, and he allows this trait of his take over. “You are right, and it was shallow of me to say that.” He gives her a lopsided, apologetic smile. “So let’s address this, I know it’s going to sound ironic after what I said, but Ahyoung..” he utters her name with delicacy, abandoning his cleaning tool. He closes the distance. 

Gently, slowly, forewarning the action; the male reaches for her hand, looking at her in the eye. Sobered by their conversation, he delivers stoically: “I do have things i don’t feel comfortable about, issues of every nature, that you may not see in the surface.” he rests his weight, leaning on the counter. “Call it whatever you want, professionalism..,.. hypocrisy..” he glances to her hand, his thumb stroking her knuckles. “we all deal with them differently.” 

he pauses, hesitating for a second. “I’ll tell you something. My parents weren’t good people, so I had to leave them behind.” he released her hand. “I had to quit my job after. I consider myself lucky I have one now at all.” He met her gaze. “I didn’t have a single clue about bar tending before. It had to work my way up, and ask for a lot of help – which can be a task itself .– Things were very tense here when I was a newbie.“ he places his palm on the nape of his neck. “I may be unfit to advise it, but take your words and apply them on others too. The climb is always hard…” he ruffled her hair. 

“we all had and/or still have our share, even while it’s not obvious. Hopefully it’ll end soon, and maybe it’ll feel worth something then, to reach your goal.” he dropped his hand. “I’m not saying your problems or emotions are not valid, just don’t be fooled or glamorize others just because they don’t seem like they are insecure or having difficulties.” he winked, “it’s not fair.” and climbed across the stool to start arranging the glassware.

[spxahyoung]

she’s alarmed when he leaves the mop, she becomes even more alarmed when he walks towards her. her eyes widen when he takes her hand, her gaze burning right into his light grip over her fist. startled, she can only focus on his movements instead of what he’s saying for a while, trying not to show her shock show. never being the type to touch anyone she doesn’t really know, she can feel herself breaking out in cold sweat. 

it’s takes a moment for her to catch on what he’s saying. “it’s fine.” she manages those two words out thankfully without her voice breaking. her palms her sweaty, and she’s glad that he has his hand over the back of her hand instead of in it. if he’s supposed to soothe her it’s doing the exact opposite, and ahyoung can’t bring herself to look at him in the eyes out of embarrassment.  

there’s the embarrassment of blurting things out- usually she has a filter that keeps her from being in positions like this in the first place. with her gaze on the table, “i’m sorry.” she says finally, feeling small, like a child caught peeking into a room she shouldn’t have. “i shouldn’t have brought it up. i didn’t know-”

she can’t complain, she can’t accuse him in the passive aggressive way like she used to. ahyoung thinks back and she feels guilty. everything jonghyun has said is right, and ahyoung’s shoulders slump slightly. “it’s just that i’ve been so used to being the person with the worst background or being the underdog to the point that i just automatically assume that most people have it better than i do.”

clasping her hands together in front of her, ahyoung doesn’t look up. “...my mother died when i was young, but old enough to miss her. my dad really loves his job but it’s not enough to support the two of us, and i’d do anything to reduce his workload, but...” she trails off, letting jonghyun guess the rest of her problems. “i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to offend you or anything.” she clears her throat. “i’ll, uh, i’ll clean the rest and close this place up by myself. you can go home first. it won’t take long anyway.”

[seoyeon-s-deactivated20200101]

[spxahyoung]

aleatory ❜

[dedvct-deactivated20200105]

jonghyun isn’t sure why she’s stuttering, even less what exactly he’d said that produced the crimson tint on her cheeks. But her reaction makes a smile stretch on his features, although he wouldn’t have expected a woman he considered himself rather attractive from the moment he laid eyes on her (because well, he’s not completely blind or unaffected by this, especially with women) would’ve turned out to be not… embracing of it (or perhaps she wasn’t used to getting comments? somehow, he doubted that). 

“a shame, I really can’t think of why, or whose type you wouldn’t fit other than gay.” he states with frankness, eyebrows raised.

and yet, his gaze no longer meets her as the conversation shifts again to him; but he doesn’t allow his body language to betray him, and fully conscious of that he simply busies his hands. He transitions to a cloth he’d left on the counter, and it is her judgement of his outward appearance that makes him neglect the action. “satisfied, huh.” he murmurs, plays with the idea inside his head, and he knows the answer; he just wouldn’t share it so openly. he’s not, and he won’t be until he rights what he’d done wrong, until he finds his mother, puts his father in jail, until..

Jonghyun looks up. “the way you perceive me… you must be kind, naive perhaps as well to a degree.” he assesses, finally straightforward, but it makes him uneasy that someone would imply they, in some shape or manner, look up to him. “because I’m not really..” he sighs, running a hand through his hair  “why would they do that?” and he wonders if she’s part of those who supposedly do. “why would you?” he’s awfully perplexed, because he’s sure that for others, he should just seem like a plain twenty something year old bar-tender. “you seem like a hard-working girl, got a future going on and all.. there’s nothing I have that you would…” he gestured with his hands. “you know. It’s more or less the opposite. Although I do like being a man.” he chuckled. “so definitely not that, if you get what i mean.” 

[spxahyoung]

the only places where she’d be getting all sort of compliments so often as he thinks are places she wouldn’t be at in the first place. to think of it, when was the last time she was at a club? or at a bar with her girlfriends? when was the last thing she’d done that wasn’t school related? ahyoung glances down at the half-cleaned beer mug in her hand, blinking dumbly at it looking back up at him. 

she probably can answer his confusion: it’s her personality. she knows it well enough- her determination stretches so far out that it’s seen as over achieving, people find it difficult to be around her since she’s constantly anxious or tense; her patience can be overlooked as her being a pushover. to put it simply, she’s just not that fun to be around. “well,” she huffs, shifting her weight from one foot to another. “looks aren’t everything, i guess.” 

the change of topic is relieving to her, and unlike him, it shows. she leans against the bar, pressing her weight onto the smooth surface as she watches him speak. her expression changes from showing somewhat keen interest to vaguely offended. naive? ahyoung blinks in surprise. kind- maybe. but naive- ?  “a future...” she echoes him dryly. “you mean, being underpaid for about three years and then getting stuck with a job that overworks you every single day with a possibility of you getting fired in the end? i’m hardworking to achieve that kind of future. if i work any less i’m going to get something even more terrible. i don’t have the luxury to slack off.” it’s shitty, but it’s a shitty reality that she’s accepted. anything for financial stability, right? “i’ve never seen a second of you reflecting on what you feel lacking. you seem to have it all. to be honest, i’m envi-... jealous.” 

[spxahyoung]

- hiatus notice.

ok...so like, the first two weeks are supposed to be my most freest week of the year for uni, but my french :) professor :) is :) making :) us :) come :) in :) for :) extra :) lectures :) 

then i’ll be flying off to travel for a short break! i’m going to be super, super busy for my supposedly two weeks break but i’ll be back in about two weeks! sorry for all those who are waiting for my replies ;-; i’ll get to everything once i’m back- other than that i’ll be working on my drafts from time to time and replying to messages! 

see you all on the 15th of feb! 

[diimented]

[ First Candidate ]

Starter for @spxahyoung

She had been called in for a favor – well, sort of. It was in the morning. She received a voicemail from a colleague she used to work with. Both parties were on good terms back in the days but leaving the big business company to join the Kingsman, Sun had kept minimal contact with her ex co-worker. For her secrecy and mostly for the latter’s safety. Sun would never put Taegun in harms way if she could do something about it. So, it was surprising when the male had left a voicemail on her house phone. A message going something like this:

hey doona, her eyebrows furrowed a little at the name he chose to call. Taegun knew she went by the other name but the younger male never did try to address her by it as it would seem too distant in his opinion. I know it’s been awhile since we last talked and I hope you’re doing fine. We should do lunch sometime soon…

Okay listen, Taegun sighed over the phone and Sun readied herself for whatever he was about to throw at her. I need a favor from you. I’m suppose to do be interviewing a bunch of people tomorrow morning but sadly I can’t make it. Please help me out on this one and fill in for me. 

The older woman who’ve rejected it, that was until she heard, And you can’t say no. I’ve been helping you keeping ties with the company ever since you resigned so this is the least you could do for me. Be at the interview room tomorrow by 9am. Thanks and I love you. Beep.

Long story short, Sun was forced into this so here she was. Taking the elevator up and soon entering the directed room where the interviews would be held.

“Here’s your coffee Miss Bae, and the file.” the petite secretary said, placing the said items onto the table as Sun took her seat. She has yet to read through the profiles of the candidates but who cares. Taegun never said anything about doing the interviews properly so the raven head would just wing it (and hopefully this doesn’t screw up someone’s future).

“Bring in the first candidate please,” Sun instructed.

[spxahyoung]

this is a good opportunity.

she takes a deep breath.

it’ll be one of your greatest stepping stones if you get this right.

she’s prepared herself well, spent hours and long nights to get the chance for just an interview. ahyoung now hopes that all her efforts will be paid off soon. she should feel confident, with her good grades and enough extracurricular activities at the university, plus all the side jobs she’s done in the past, and currently doing, ahyoung shouldn’t be feeling so lacking as she waits.

there are other candidates after her- lucky for ahyoung she’s the first to go. don’t get intimidated, she reminds herself. not everyone has this opportunity to have an interview, they’re all equally deserving, all academically accomplished in similar ways. but it’s their stance, the strong pride in their eyes that cause ahyoung to shrink into her seat. one little mistake and they might all claw her eyes out with their manicured nails and sharply tailored suits. she keeps silent, holding her bag tightly against her chest as she stares widely at the ground in panic. oh my god. i must look so incompetent compared to them. ahyoung focuses on her breathing. 

she’s startled when she hears the voice from the other side of the door, and she gets up in a hurry, knocking lightly before entering the room. 

“good morning,” ahyoung greets politely as she steps in. “my name is kim ahyoung.”

[spxahyoung]

feel the fall  ❜

[lgcjinseo]

“Nonsense, you were great help back there with the children. They wouldn’t have been as calm and reasonable as they were if not for you,” Sungyeol chuckles. Sungyeol is torn between gulping in fear or letting out a sigh of relief upon hearing why her father is here. He has nothing to fear. After all, he is a law-abiding citizen and he has no malicious intentions toward Ahyoung. “I’m sure most of the terrorists are gone by now, and I’m just being paranoid…” he whispers. “But I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you. Especially now that I know you’re someone close to Daeyeol…” 

He laughs at her last words. “I wouldn’t want my first meeting with your father to involve him strangling me,” he says with a chuckle. “Or are you just trying to say that I’m unworthy of escorting you back?” He winks at her as if they’re pulling the greatest prank in history.

[spxahyoung]

watching daeyeol mock-suffer through them teasing him brings a small smile to her face, taking his face between her hands and pressing her palms into his cheeks as she coos at him. “hey, hey, you can’t be too bitter about this since it’s true. who looked after you every time you puked your guts out?”  she raises a brow pointedly with a smug grin. 

she presses her lips together and takes a step back when they start conversing in english. sure, she might have gotten a good score for the sats, but her conversational skills was majorly lacking. all she got from it was the word friend and dad. ah young winces in the inside as this reminds her that she should start studying english again. 

waving goodbye to daeyeol, he’s gone as quickly as he’d appeared, leaving the two alone. “so were you, with instructing everyone to safety while patching up the injured.” ah young turns to him, nodding seriously. his praise brings a proud smile on her face, which she tires to bite down. “ah...” she sighs, her gaze falling onto what now remains of the building. with all the glass pieces from the chandeliers now on the floor, it’s difficult to remember how grande the building was before the explosion. 

“-- no-” she starts, sounding too flustered than she really means. “i mean, my dad’s really...he’s very protective since i’m an only child.” and the only remaining family member he has. she adds silently. “but i guess if he knows that you saved my life, he’ll at least refrain himself from hurting you physically.” ah young places a tentative hand on his arm, gently pulling him towards where all the cops are crowded in. 

by the time they reach, her father is looking for her with a worried look on his face. the exhaustion in obvious- it’s like seeing her own reflected on his face. ah young raises her hand slightly to draw attention to herself, waiting for her father to notice and walk over to them. ah young can feel herself bracing a little when she notices her father’s gaze on sungyeol as he walks towards them, suspicion replacing the worry in his strides. 

“dad- this is sungyeol, a doctor.” ah young introduces him quickly before her father can say anything, nudging sungyeol forward a little. “he saved my life back there and has been taking care of me afterwards. having sungyeol like this in front of her father feels like she’s serving a meal on a silver platter to a starved dragon, and she suddenly feels protective of him. “he’s been really, really kind. nothing but kind.” she adds swiftly, patting sungyeol on the arm as if that would convince her father. 

“...alright.” her father says after a while, his eyes never leaving the young man. “thank you for saving my daughter. as a father i’m grateful- she’s all i have.” ah young bites down a groan, feeling a little embarrassed. “okay, i think we should go now. you look exhausted, dad.” ah young pipes up, casting sungyeol a sheepish look. “again, thank you so much for everything.” she tells him earnestly as her father pulls her away. there’s a hundred more things that she can say before she steps into the police car, but instead she gives him one last long look before turning and closing the door.  

[spxahyoung]

shining armor ❜

[kngxjb-blog]

jaebum didn’t know what what compelled him to go out with his classmates in the first place. after all his bed called for him– it was a match made in heaven something his brother used to poke fun at him ever so often. for now however, he was stuck at the restaurant with some of the other people from the sociology department– hopefully it wouldn’t turn into another karl marxxian debate.

although on any other day he would have probably been down for a few drinks he had to drive back home– which was dangerous enough on itself all things considered.

it wasn’t until he was thinking of how to excuse himself in an attempt to escape that his phone decided to ring. thank you mom and your need to discuss new things for the shop at weird times. now maybe he could finally escape back home and probably bother his neighbours for a while.

once outside of the restaurant he spotted a peculiar scene who would genuinely make anyone uncomfortable. well, anyone who could read the situation anyway. he took a deep breath and headed over quickly recognizing the male. with a sigh he approached the problematic male and placing a hand on his shoulder.

“should i tell the coach you’re smoking again?” jaebum carefully peeled the male away from girl giving her a pointed look, almost as if asking if she was okay. the assailant was a known troublemaker from the snu swim team. ugh he just wanted to head back home and relax. “i didn’t see you today we had practice you know?” with that he dragged the male away hoping to give the female a breath of fresh air.

[spxahyoung]

it’s only for so long she can hold her breath, and she’s on the verge of inhaling sharply. she braces herself to taste the whiff of the cigarette, her fists clenching and her eyes wandering everywhere but-

“ha- !! ” ah young chokes out, taking a deep breath in when someone appears, pulling the older boy away with a muted threat. the smell of nicotine still lingers in the air, she can taste it on the tip of her tongue, but it’s a lot better than breathing it right in. her insides feel sore from all the alcohol, her head spinning and her cheeks feel hot. ah young is a tipsy mess, but thankfully she’s one of the quieter drunks compared to others. she presses the back of her hand against her mouth, her eyes fluttering shut as she leans against the wall as she tries her best to sober up. there’s a convenient store nearby, she just needs to make sure to get there without tripping and falling on her face. 

she gives a hesitant look towards the boy. with that face, it’s hard to tell if he’s younger or older than her. ah young squints, rubbing the back of her neck as she tries to come off as least embarrassing as possible. “can you do me another favor?” she asks weakly, giving him a sheepish smile. “can you help me get to 7/11? i think it’s time for me to sober up and go home. all you need to do is walk me there.” she pauses, placing her hand on his arm- she’s not taking no for an answer. with him seemingly the only trust worthy person around right now, she has no other options to be this demanding. she’ll apologize later. 

[spxahyoung]

sweet talk ❜

[himchanspx-blog]

She tells him that he doesn’t have to answer and so he doesn’t but it’s awfully strange how his feelings can relate to those of a stranger. Often asking himself if what he does is enough, if he is good enough at what he is doing, if he is strong enough to protect people and do his job properly, he came up with the answer ‘of course not, dummy’ more often than not. Being his own self’s judge is obviously not being objective in any way but it’s not like he can ask anyone else to tell him if he is enough. He doesn’t care about others. Other people are liars anyway, they would tell him that he is enough but crush him at the first occasion and show him how weak and useless he really is. There will always be better, richer and smarter people, he wants to tell her, but it’s not a reason to give up. Himchan just stays quiet and looks out the window for several second, maybe a whole minute, and wonders how it would feel like to be enough. “Well,” He looks back at her, allows himself to chuckle even. “I haven’t cried in forever either.” Ever since I left high school. “It’s just that we haven’t found something worth crying for.”

Therapeutic, hm? So she thinks he is some kind of doctor. That’s amusing. With his over-developed brain, he could probably have become a surgeon, it pays well and there’s a certain thrill at holding someone’s life between his hands– but it lacks action, it lacks guns and tracking targets, it lacks Himchan inventing himself a whole new life and personality just so he can make his mission a success. And maybe, it lacks the fact that he could die at any time. “I’m a good listener.” He nods, giving her a small smile. He just hopes that her complaints will not remain in his brain for too long, he has better things to focus on. Her following words has Himchan cracking a wider smile, her compliment barely hidden behind her rambling and he leans slightly forward. Himchan is like this, he is someone who seduces and has fun as soon as an opportunity arises. “I look handsome, right?” He grins, his eye-dimple showing before he leans back in his seat; he likes to seduce but it’s too easy right now. She’s in a weak state and he doesn’t even feel like adding more complications to her busy life. “I love my two jobs. It’s tiring at times but… I don’t know. It’s easier when you do something you love, I guess.”

[spxahyoung]

there’s a slow forming of a familiar numbness in the pits of her stomach as she sinks into her self-doubt. keeping the latte in her hands, she stares down into it. he might not mean it, but she’s still thankful for this words. catching the blurred reflection of herself on the mug, her exhaustion is much too obvious. maybe i should just call it a day and go to bed... she quickly shakes the thought off. there are finals to do, reports to finish, her financial state to manage. oh my god, she can feel her stress about to hit the roof. the list is endless and she might just die before she can even finish the half of it. her attention is brought back onto the man when he starts to speak again, and suddenly she feels sorry for making him witness her slowly progressing mental break down. “if we start putting values to what’s worth crying...” she sighs, pressing the warm mug to her forehead as her shoulders slump. “isn’t that too- i don’t know- cold? i think i might feel better when i cry over how much work i have to do. and the foreboding doom of my future. people are too logical these days.” she mumbles the last part.

“i didn’t mean-” she’s quick to react, a sudden jolt of energy from the embarrassment causing her to stir. it’s not like she can deny it- she wouldn’t be able to even if he wasn’t. despite preferences, good looking is good looking. the doctor(?)-barista is handsome. “...yes.” ah young answers weakly, eying him wearily. “well, i just wanted to know your secret of looking so refreshed even with two jobs.” it’s a poor attempt to redeem herself, but she does it anyway. “maybe it’s because you’re older and experienced. uh- how old are you?” her brows furrow slightly, realizing they don’t know each other by name yet. but at this point she feels awkward asking for it, especially after admitting that he’s good looking. “ha....” she sighs, burying her face into her hands. he’s one of the lucky ones, doing the jobs he loves. most are stuck with a tedious job, suffering through it for the paycheck. “so how do you deal with stressful situations?” she raises a brow. from what she’s heard so far they don’t have the same problems, or maybe he doesn’t have any problems at all. better try to find a common ground or something effective to learn from the sort of stranger. 

[spxahyoung]

“Looks like a lot of people are going to die.”

ah young presses her lips together. she knows a spoiler when she hears it no matter how passive it is. turning from the movie poster in front of them to give the young man beside her a long look, she bites down an irritated remark. she’s not even a fan of action movies- she doesn’t know why she chose to watch it in the first place. most probably it’s because she wants her head feeling a little empty since she’s been stressed with exams for so long. all she wanted was some time by herself, a peaceful day without any distractions. a happy “me” day. 

“you’ve watched it already, haven’t you?” she can’t help but to sound accusing. 

[spxahyoung]

feel the fall  ❜

[spxahyoung]

leesungyeolspx:

...

Sungyeol isn’t in the mood to deal with his brother, and he doesn’t exactly feel like having to confirm that a lot of their family friends are dead. He’d really prefer it if his brother wasn’t around. 

He offers an arm to Ahyoung, as he ignores whatever face Daeyeol is making at him. “I never got to thank you for your help back there earlier,” he says as an explanation. “I rarely get help from competent people such as yourself, and well, the least I can do is see to it you made it home safe. So, where to, fair lady?” 

although she’s seen enough siblings to bicker with each other to the extent of one of them angrily talking about their sister or brother behind their back to her, being an only child does give her the natural curiosity (and sometimes envy) of what it’d be like if she too, had one. she shifts her weight from one foot to another as she watches them in silence. maybe she’d have a younger sibling by now if her mother was still alive-

“i get that feeling too whenever i take care of daeyeol when he can’t differentiate his left foot from his right.” ah young smiles, ignoring the betrayed look her friend is wearing. “he hasn’t thrown up on me yet; he’s still somewhat a gentleman when he’s drunk.” she reaches out to pat daeyeol on the shoulder, a silent, half-hearted apology concerning her comment about him being a handful when drunk. “have you seen him drunk at a karaoke bar? his performances are a+.” 

the mood has definitely been lifted by the playful bickering between the two brothers. if she can ignore the fact that most of her senses have been numbed by the shock, she’s surprisingly holding up pretty well. she hasn’t thrown up, cried, or screamed so far. she wonders when she’s going to crack- she just hopes it’s not in front of anyone. 

“i don’t know if i did anything much,” she mutters as she looks down at his arm before hesitantly putting hers around it. “actually,” ah young bites down a wry smile, thinking of possible scenarios once her father sees them like this. oh god, this is not the right time nor the right place to pull out a gun... “my dad’s a cop. i was actually planning on to wait here until he’s done.” she peers over at the large, neon orange bars surrounding the crime scene. truthfully, she doesn’t know when they’re going to get home, though she doesn’t mind waiting. “...you don’t think...” her face darkens a little as she looks through the windows, now shattered. “you don’t think there’s anyone alive in there that might cause more harm, do you?”

ah young is quick to snap out of it, her fingers cold not from the night chill. “am i keeping you guys from going home?” she glances at daeyeol. “my dad’s probably looking for me as well. i guess we should get going. hey, text me when you get home, okay?” she tells daeyeol before looking back at sungyeol. “you can walk me to the police cars, if you want.” ah young smiles humorlessly.  “but we should walk with some distance between us if you don’t want my dad trying to strangle you.”

[spxahyoung]

[meme] “Of sorts. Interested?”

haha, she had laughed. are you asking me out?

now she just feels embarrassed. ah young almost sinks into the figurative hole she’s been digging, wanting nothing more than to bury herself from the situation she’s gotten herself into. she mistakes the sudden quickening of her heart as panic and embarrassment rather than the thrill of a possible romance. “- uh,” she clears her throat, realizing she’s taking too long to answer. she’s surprised he hadn’t taken his offer back by now. 

this is good. she tells herself. this should be good. it’s an effective way to relieve her stress from all her part time jobs and the shock from that night. running a hand through her hair as if she’s trying to comb out all the hectincness out of her head, she gives him a quick nod, biting down a smile. 

“yeah. i’m interested.” 

[spxahyoung]

“I will be right back.”

clutching the books tighter against her chest, ah young stares down at the library assistant. “no- um,” she clears her throat, her gaze quickly traveling down onto her watch. there’s not enough time to wait for the girl to go all the way to the other side of the library to check if the book ah young is looking for is there. “can i come back later? i have a lecture to run off to in five minutes so i’m not sure if i can wait here.” ah young says offers her an apologetic smile. “the timetable for the lectures changed and now i’m stuck with a few that i didn’t even ask for.”

“i’ll give you my student i.d number and email address. can you just send me a quick email if there’s still a textbook left?”