Travis: Do you have a gun?
Griffin: No, Jesus, Travis!
Emily: I do not. I do not have a gun.
Justin: No, Travis, don’t be ridiculous! Do you have a taser?
Emily: I don’t. I have a big flashlight that’s very heavy—
Justin: No, you don’t have to hit all of ‘em. But if you hit one, word gets around. Truckers love to talk.
Travis: “You know, I called her sweet. She’s not very sweet.”
Justin: “She’s not very sweet. I was wrong. I called her pumpkin. She is no pumpkin.”
Travis: “Turns out she’s a human being with a big flashlight.”
Justin: [laughs] “I thought she was a baby angel. It turned out, she’s actually a human being with a very large flashlight—”
Travis: “You guys are never gonna believe this!”
Justin: “You guys are never gonna believe this. Do you remember that sugar dumplin’. I thought she was a sugar dumplin’. Turns out she’s a person and she’s very strong. And surprisingly fast.”
Travis: “She had a flashlight and she knows how to use it.”
Justin: “Yeah. Yeah. Please, get the word out. Tell other truckers.”
[Griffin and audience laugh]
Justin: “And y’know what? Listen. This is gonna sound wild, other truckers. But if this—”
Justin: “If this suga-baby-angel could turn out to be an actual living human being, [laughing] we can’t really run the risk that others could be too.”
Travis: “What if they all have flashlights?”
Griffin: “What if they all have very big flashlights?”
Justin: “Hey, What if all women have flashlights?”
Travis: “What do we do then!?”
Justin: “What do we do then? We can’t run that risk! Maybe we just play it safe—”
Griffin: “Maybe we just be cool!”
Justin: “Just play it safe and be cool.”
Griffin: [imitates horn] That’s the big horn they have.
Justin: So anyway, I guess our answer is just flashlight one of them and I’m sorry for any repercussions-
pixelskylines
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turnnoffyourmind
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