Not today Justin
occasionally subtle
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
Three Goblin Art
styofa doing anything
One Nice Bug Per Day
Monterey Bay Aquarium

Janaina Medeiros

JVL
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
Jules of Nature
Cosmic Funnies
Sade Olutola
i don't do bad sauce passes

Origami Around
$LAYYYTER
Sweet Seals For You, Always

JBB: An Artblog!
Alisa U Zemlji Chuda
noise dept.
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@squaredcirclecafe
Amazon.com: Finally Finding And Accepting Myself: Poetry About Who I'm Discovering And What I Discovered eBook : Bishop, Gladys: Kindle Stor
I WROTE A BOOK!!!!
It's available both in paperback and Kindle form. I hope you check it out! my first book ever!!!!
I'm Done With You
To quote Jay Leno when he interviewed Hugh Grant: “What the hell were you thinking?” All I ever did was love and care about you. I supported all your crazy ideas. I waited patiently to see if you would find a job and help more around the house. I worked and helped you when I could, even if it meant not getting the things I wanted. And yet, you were keeping a dirty secret behind my back. I should have seen the signs. Your constant need to be online. Always asking when I was coming home. Staying up all night on your laptop(s). You stopped touching me. In addition, your need to always be the center of attention. No one could talk in front of you because if it wasn’t about you, you’d make it about you. You claimed to support me, but you waited for the moment when you could turn the attention to you. What did I do wrong? I know I should look to blame myself, but how can I not? All I did was love you and support you. But that wasn’t enough. YOU are the one with the sickness and look what happened. That day haunts me. I was so scared, but then filled with so much anger after I was told the truth. That was the last straw. I am done. I can’t do this anymore. I need to distance myself from you as soon as possible. For my sake and my mental health, I need you out of my life. You said to me, “We aren’t going through this.” You’re right. “We” are not. I am separating myself from you. I can’t do this anymore. 10 years is enough. You broke your vow to me. The vow to love, honor, and respect. Goodbye. I hope you someday get the help you seriously need. But I won’t be waiting. I am moving on with my life and you need to as well. It’s over.
I feel as though, for my entire life, almost every man in my life has been toxic. It goes back to when I was a child. A father is meant to show you how to be a man, but mine wasn’t a real man. He was an abuser.
My father abused me in every way, making me feel as though no man would ever love someone as screwed up as I was. His abuse was drilled into my mind, making me an outcast at school, giving the boys ammunition to use to bully me in elementary and middle school. Once high school started, I truly felt no guy would ever give me the time of day. And I was right.
They say bullying is a child’s worst nightmare, but they never tell you feeling ignored is just as bad.
And any man who did show me any affection, it was only because they were using me. They would hide me and take advantage of me, never acknowledging me in public. I never had a boyfriend. I wasn’t allowed to, since my father had me under his control.
As I became an adult, I allowed myself to fall into relationships in which my partner was distant or trying to control me in one way or another. I wasn’t ever happy. Any man who showed me the slightest affection and I was already in love, or in something I thought was love.
My first marriage was with someone who was just looking for a home. I later learned this is called “cuffing.” He soon changed as we lived together, with him trying to convince me I needed to work less so he could collect a larger SSI check. I disagreed. He also said I couldn’t have guys as friends, and, again, I disagreed. The marriage ended by the end of the year.
My next long term relationship was with a man who was charming and thoughtful. He said the right things and made all the right moves. Slowly, though, he started saying and doing things I soon learned was called “gaslighting.” I joined a gym and though I was happy, he told me I could work out at home for free, so I quit. I bought yoga equipment, but he suggested I didn’t need that many things. I tried becoming a pro wrestler, but he put it in my head that if I was injured, who would take care of me? Certainly not him. So, I quit that. The last straw came when he called out how often I went to wrestling shows (not very often), something I loved a lot. I ended the relationship, but the damage was done.
I did date a man after him and it seemed as though he was a good guy. But, it was short term. A few months into the relationship, he disappeared. This is now called “ghosting.” I found out through his social media he moved to CA, without any goodbye.
My second marriage, to me, finally felt as though it was going to work. He was sweet, funny, caring, and respected my wishes. We had a fun wedding, but soon, it became clear he wasn’t the man he said he was. He told me he used to work a lot, but never made the effort to find a job. He said he always kept a clean apartment, but would never do anything as far as housework unless I pointed it out. He said he could cook, but his “meals” were nothing more than weird concoctions he threw together. He convinced me to move to MA with him, but I didn’t want to, having built a life for me in RI. I lost my apartment and we were homeless for three years. Again, he barely looked for work, while I used most of my pay for either transportation to work, the hotel, or food. Though, he would do things for me to “cheer me up” such as renting a movie theater for my favorite movie or buying me a Chromebook. Once we finally found a home, thanks to my veteran status, he slipped back into his ways, with no cleaning or searching for a job. He was more focused on trying to become the next YouTube icon. But, he would always make sure he bought me gifts and told me he loved me.
I soon discovered he was “love bombing” me, keeping me distracted while he was doing illegal activity behind my back. This soon came to light as he was recently arrested for illegal activities. I can’t even bring myself to say what it is because it disgusts me. As of this writing, I am seeking legal advice to file for divorce.
As I write this, I feel such strong emotions, more towards myself, allowing myself to fall into these toxic relationships. I was so desperate for any kind of affections, I gave permission to these guys to walk all over me and take advantage of my emotions. And, I have no one to blame for my decisions. I did it and paid the price.
I’m going to be 50 in a couple of years and I am finally starting to feel as though my life is just beginning. I do have two wonderful kids who I raised on my own. Both are in amazing relationships with people who care for them, love them for who they are and not what they can get from them. They are also confident in their feelings to know if something isn’t right, they need to walk away. It’s about time I started doing that myself. I have spent so much time trying to please a partner, I never found the time to focus on myself and my own growth. So that’s my next chapter in the book that is my life. Who knows what will happen in the next 50 years, but I know I’ll begin to love the one person who needs love the most: ME.
Daily Photo!
Credit: Ryan Loco
That's Biff Busick he's kicking!
I’m a huge fan of yours (requested by Anonymous)
For context: In that production of King Lear by the Royal Shakespeare Company, Sir Ian McKellen, playing the titular character in a scene where Lear has essentially gone round the bend, strips completely naked right there on stage. New York critic Michael Portantiere, noted in his review, “Special note for those who care about such things: In a brief nude scene, McKellen amply demonstrates the truth of Lear’s statement that he is ‘every inch a king’.”
#wow go ian mckellan #also a+ flirting there taron
The above scene is amazing but I also feel we need to take a moment to appreciate the fact that a respected theatre critic took time to mention in their review of this production of King Lear that Ian McKellen has a truly impressive penis
@bucklikethedollar why would you hide poetry like this in the notes
I posted 5 times in 2022
4 posts created (80%)
1 post reblogged (20%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@ravingsockmonkey
I tagged 4 of my posts in 2022
Only 20% of my posts had no tags
#home - 1 post
#homless - 1 post
#housing - 1 post
#the addams family - 1 post
#pinhead - 1 post
#hellraiser - 1 post
#halloween - 1 post
#crossover - 1 post
#veterans - 1 post
#veteran - 1 post
Longest Tag: 17 characters
#the addams family
My Top Posts in 2022:
#4
Squared Circle Cafe turned 11 today!
0 notes - Posted December 15, 2022
#3
My Veteran’s Voice
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of the word “veteran” reads: “A person who has served in the military.” For the longest time, I wasn’t able to call myself a veteran. In my mind, a veteran was someone who went to war or was in the military for decades. It took a long time for me to accept I also was a veteran. I joined the Army Reserves when I was 17 in 1993, during the time the Montgomery GI Bill was heavily advertised. I dreamed of going to college and felt a scholarship from the Army would help. In June of 1993, I was shipped to Missouri for Basic Training. It’s said some never make it past the first couple of weeks. Between drill sergeants screaming and the early wake up, I didn’t think I was going to make it. Yet, I did and graduated in August, a new member of the Army Reserves. I was assigned to a company in NE for my “one weekend a month” after I arrived home. And because I was a junior in high school when I joined, I had to finish senior year and graduate before I could go to Army Initial Training (AIT) which was 91 Bravo (medical specialist.) I was accepted to college, but the week I was supposed to go, I got my orders to report to Texas for my AIT. I went and did my training, but because I was unable to pass the physical training tests the paperwork for my discharge began. I was officially out of the Army in March 1995 on an honorable discharge. Years passed and, though I spoke of it, I never used the word “veteran” to describe my time in the Reserves. On forms, applications, or any other papers, I never checked the “YES” box when it asked, “Are You A Veteran Of The US Military?” Friends had asked why and I gave the same reason I always felt: “I never went to war and I didn’t want to take away from anyone more deserving.” In my mind, I considered my time in the Army a mere blip. Though, I am proud I went through basic and 95% of my AIT, I still couldn’t call myself a veteran. When I started dating my now-husband, he would always ask why I never applied for benefits or called the Veterans Administration. Again, I gave him the same reason. For years he insisted I try. Finally, during our time being homeless, he threw down the gauntlet and insisted I make some calls. I called the VA Homeless hotline and Operation Stand Down, an organization in my area specializing in helping all veterans. The VA called and listened. When they asked me why I took so long to call, I told them the same thing I always felt. That’s when they said: “You were in the Army. You ARE a veteran.” The counselors at both the VA and Stand Down helped me to get my discharge papers, showing the time I served, where I went to train, and both my dates of enlistment and discharge. Working together, they helped me fill my information with the VA, get a VA card, and connect me with online classes for veterans. More importantly, they helped me with a voucher to find an apartment. A home. In addition, I started meeting more veterans who had the same beliefs as me. They also felt they weren’t veterans, for whatever reason. Like me, it took talking to the right people to figure out what they could do to help, whether medical, employment, or shelter. I am taking the Providence Clemente Veterans Initiative. Many of my classmates are veterans of foreign wars, and they have assured me that what I did MATTERS — that I AM A VETERAN. Though it took almost 30 years, I have now accepted being called a veteran. My time was brief, yes, but I wouldn’t trade one day. It helped me learn new things and give me opportunities I never would have imagined. It was my first time traveling on my own and meeting different people from all over the world. When I look at my smiling photo in a Class A uniform, I see someone who accomplished one of the toughest boot camps in the military. If you hesitate to call yourself a veteran, know that you are not alone. There are people who can help and places you can call. Reach out and make that move. It will help.
1 note - Posted November 13, 2022
#2
Home
After 2 years, 7 months, and six day we finally found what we were looking for: a home.
2 notes - Posted August 8, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Addams Family &.....Hellraiser?!
I had the weirdest crossover idea.
Pugsley Addams is playing with the Lament Configuration and conjures Pinhead. Pinhead looks down and sees a young boy.
"I'm here to show you such sights," Pinhead growls. As he waits for Pugsley to scream in terror, he smiles and claps his hands.
Morticia walks in and sees what Pugsley has done, then sees his guest.
"Cousin Pin?"
Pinhead looks at her. "Cousin Morticia? It is you!"
I can totally see this.
8 notes - Posted October 29, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
Squared Circle Cafe turned 11 today!
You have been booped by this empty wrapping paper tube.
Reblog to boop all of your followers with it.
My Veteran’s Voice
In the Oxford Dictionary, the definition of the word “veteran” reads: “A person who has served in the military.” For the longest time, I wasn’t able to call myself a veteran. In my mind, a veteran was someone who went to war or was in the military for decades. It took a long time for me to accept I also was a veteran. I joined the Army Reserves when I was 17 in 1993, during the time the Montgomery GI Bill was heavily advertised. I dreamed of going to college and felt a scholarship from the Army would help. In June of 1993, I was shipped to Missouri for Basic Training. It’s said some never make it past the first couple of weeks. Between drill sergeants screaming and the early wake up, I didn’t think I was going to make it. Yet, I did and graduated in August, a new member of the Army Reserves. I was assigned to a company in NE for my “one weekend a month” after I arrived home. And because I was a junior in high school when I joined, I had to finish senior year and graduate before I could go to Army Initial Training (AIT) which was 91 Bravo (medical specialist.) I was accepted to college, but the week I was supposed to go, I got my orders to report to Texas for my AIT. I went and did my training, but because I was unable to pass the physical training tests the paperwork for my discharge began. I was officially out of the Army in March 1995 on an honorable discharge. Years passed and, though I spoke of it, I never used the word “veteran” to describe my time in the Reserves. On forms, applications, or any other papers, I never checked the “YES” box when it asked, “Are You A Veteran Of The US Military?” Friends had asked why and I gave the same reason I always felt: “I never went to war and I didn’t want to take away from anyone more deserving.” In my mind, I considered my time in the Army a mere blip. Though, I am proud I went through basic and 95% of my AIT, I still couldn’t call myself a veteran. When I started dating my now-husband, he would always ask why I never applied for benefits or called the Veterans Administration. Again, I gave him the same reason. For years he insisted I try. Finally, during our time being homeless, he threw down the gauntlet and insisted I make some calls. I called the VA Homeless hotline and Operation Stand Down, an organization in my area specializing in helping all veterans. The VA called and listened. When they asked me why I took so long to call, I told them the same thing I always felt. That’s when they said: “You were in the Army. You ARE a veteran.” The counselors at both the VA and Stand Down helped me to get my discharge papers, showing the time I served, where I went to train, and both my dates of enlistment and discharge. Working together, they helped me fill my information with the VA, get a VA card, and connect me with online classes for veterans. More importantly, they helped me with a voucher to find an apartment. A home. In addition, I started meeting more veterans who had the same beliefs as me. They also felt they weren’t veterans, for whatever reason. Like me, it took talking to the right people to figure out what they could do to help, whether medical, employment, or shelter. I am taking the Providence Clemente Veterans Initiative. Many of my classmates are veterans of foreign wars, and they have assured me that what I did MATTERS — that I AM A VETERAN. Though it took almost 30 years, I have now accepted being called a veteran. My time was brief, yes, but I wouldn’t trade one day. It helped me learn new things and give me opportunities I never would have imagined. It was my first time traveling on my own and meeting different people from all over the world. When I look at my smiling photo in a Class A uniform, I see someone who accomplished one of the toughest boot camps in the military. If you hesitate to call yourself a veteran, know that you are not alone. There are people who can help and places you can call. Reach out and make that move. It will help.
Addams Family &.....Hellraiser?!
I had the weirdest crossover idea.
Pugsley Addams is playing with the Lament Configuration and conjures Pinhead. Pinhead looks down and sees a young boy.
"I'm here to show you such sights," Pinhead growls. As he waits for Pugsley to scream in terror, he smiles and claps his hands.
Morticia walks in and sees what Pugsley has done, then sees his guest.
"Cousin Pin?"
Pinhead looks at her. "Cousin Morticia? It is you!"
I can totally see this.
Home
After 2 years, 7 months, and six day we finally found what we were looking for: a home.
Help
We are homeless and are about to get kicked out of the hotel we are staying in unless we make a payment by 4PM. We need about 400$ to pay and any help would be appreciated. If you can help us please, my Cash App is $thatdariachick Thank you and I hope we can get some help. We honestly have no place to go.
Squared Circle Cafe turned 10 today!
Mama's Sunday Special. Thank you Chyna for the name! https://www.instagram.com/p/CMaBF6EJu88/?igshid=1ff724qharjoq
Some more of my elementary art. The 1st is "organized chaos of my mind." The 2nd is "all blocks of life." https://www.instagram.com/p/CMGAjadJi60/?igshid=121xl77qp8nkl
I went in a different direction with my artwork. I used a wider brush and just cut loose. I like them. https://www.instagram.com/p/CKsWbMyJhOk/?igshid=174h6js8oc2fo