hey ezra, if this is too personal a question feel free to ignore it and i apologize, but do u ever struggle with feeling depersonalized or not u if you smoke too much weed/for too long? it was fine for me in high school when i just wanted to get thru the days but now that im happier and unfortunately at home largely by myself but with hopes and dreams and friends and all, it makes me a little nervous when i don't feel quite real. any advice? also! i dont have panic attacks just weird feelings
yeah, i definitely know what you mean, and ive experienced the same thing esp with high school. i already have dissociation and memory problems and smoking weed has def made it worse esp in my formative teenage years (worth it for the trade off that i didnt kill myself or drink alcohol instead). taking a tolerance break and cutting back on the frequency+amount u smoke is def the best thing you can do. and try to do things that connect you to your body like walking, stretching, meditating, even things like showering and putting on makeup or drawing on your hands, anything that makes you focus on your body & what ur doing with it. i also find that journaling is immensely helpful, i can look back on my entries and be like oh yes thats what happened, i have a firsthand record of what ive done and how i was feeling in the past & it helps me connect to it more. and when im writing my entries it lets me express my feelings which helps dissociation. whatever "actively trying to connect to yourself" means to you, do it. its about little things in routines for me, like cooking and eating a meal while being as mindful and present as possible n focusing on the physical and emotional sensations of the action. i do this same thing while taking walks around my neighborhood and it helps center me a lot, changing up ur environment is rly good for this stuff. when i start to get weird feelings like that my go-to method is to get up and get a glass of water, which forces me to 1. move my body around 2. change my surroundings 3. get sensory input from the weight of the glass and temperature of the water and 4. do something good for my body to take care of it. all these things help tie me back down to the present moment and sort of reset, just remind myself im here. hope some of this helps ik its a rough thing to deal with
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