Amelie, on the phone: Hey, Hailie, do you remember when you told me Santa wasnât real?
Amelie: Well jokes on you, because Iâm at the mall right now and guess whoâs fucking here.

shark vs the universe

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@ssaassbitches
Amelie, on the phone: Hey, Hailie, do you remember when you told me Santa wasnât real?
Amelie: Well jokes on you, because Iâm at the mall right now and guess whoâs fucking here.
Hailie: Wanna see a trick?
Breann: The last time you showed me a trick, it took two weeks for my eyebrows to grow back.
Hailie: (props feet on table) So, I heard you like bad boys.
Amelie: What? No?
Hailie: (immediately takes feet off table) Oh thank God, that felt horrible.
Amelie: I lost Hailie!
Julia: You lost Hailie?!
Amelie: Give me a break. Sheâs like two inches tall.
Amelie: (mumbling in Latin)
Hailie: Listen, for the last time, Iâm not a demon and you canât exorcise me
Amelie, crossing number 5 off of the list: It was worth a try
Amelie: I hope they appreciate the work we put into this.
Amelie: Lets have a moment to reflect the work we did.
Both Hailie and Amelie: (close eyes and reflect)
Hailie: Yeah, we didnât do much
(Demon hunting)
Amelie: (pulls out a vial) I have my vial of holy water? What do you have for protection?
Hailie: (laughs)
Hailie: myself
Breann: Amelie passed out on the ping pong table. It was depressing until Hailie started singing Shakira an hour later and we heard her muffled voice singing along.
Amelie: whoops
Hailie: whoops? WHOOPS? this is not a âwhoopsâ situation. we are far past whoops. whoops is a distant speck in the rearview mirror. we are solidly in âoh fuckâ territory, and i expect you to act like it
Azaiza: You two need to stop doing weird things. Going out might help.
Amelie: We went to the park today
Azaiza: There you go! I hope you got something from that
Amelie: Yeah we did
Hailie: (opens her bag) this duck
Hailie: Murder is like potato chips. You canât stop with just one.
Amelie: Hey, I have kind of crazy idea.
Hailie: Those are never comforting words coming from you.
Hailieâs Brother, looking outside: What time is it?
Hailie, upset: A terrible time.
Hailieâs Mom: 6 oâclock
Hailie: My mama didn't raise a quitter, but she did raise a fool, and it turns out those two things are a terrible combination
Hailie: Every conversation I have with you people gets more and more absurd!
Amelie: You say âyou peopleâ like youâre not a part of the family. Well, Iâve got news for you, Bromeo. Youâre already on the Christmas card.
Amelie: Ok! I have a plan! But first, I have to ask; how much do you like your kneecaps?
Hailie: âŠ
Hailie: Well theyâre certainly fucking useful! What kind of question is that?!
Amelie: For whatever reason, you suddenly gain godlike powers of control over the universe. Whatâs the first thing you do?
Hailie: I straight up get rid of all the carbon.
Amelie: Carbon, as in the chemical element upon which all life forms are based?
Hailie: Thats the bitch.