Miss S. @sssheridann - Tumblr Blog

don’t feel guilty for not being able to handle everything, for needing a break. you need to look after yourself, too. self care is not selfish.

jasmiiine

happy birthday breonna taylor. we’re all fighting for you too.

thetroublesofbeingtrans

I think honestly something that helps me deal with internalized transphobia is inspecting the language I use to describe my social condition as a trans person. Sometimes I catch myself saying something like “being trans is really hard”… but like… being trans, while it comes with it’s own difficulties, isn’t really what I mean when I say “being trans is really hard”. I was born trans, there was never an active effort for me to “be trans” because I have always been trans. I think what I mean to say is “dealing with transphobia is really hard”- having to go through the hurdles to get HRT, to change my name and gender marker, to get the medical resources, to be accepted in spaces where cis people have always been the majority, especially without a strong support system, is difficult. Having to deal with the comments you hear on the street, even if people don’t know you are trans, knowing that there’s a sizable amount of people who don’t know anything about trans people outside of some jokes told at the dinner table… That’s really what I mean when I say that. I really feel like if society didn’t have preconceived ideas about trans people, I wouldn’t catch myself saying “being trans is really hard” as much.

transmedicalism-saves-lives

I would disagree on some level- being trans in and of itself is also really hard.

Getting over a serious phobia of needles revolving around childhood trauma, that still hasn’t gone away, to stick myself every week is really hard.

Going through surgery and recovery is really hard.

Wearing a binder every day and having my ribs be constantly bruised is really hard.

Not wearing one and vomiting up everything I eat and not being able to focus on anything is harder though.

Learning to speak and sing with a new voice is hard- rewarding yes, but still hard.

Dysphoria hitting randomly and making me get sick for days is extremely hard.

Not being able to have sex because anyone, including me, touching down there makes me have a panic attack is hard.

Knowing that even after everything, there’s next to no chance of me ever having my own kids is one of the hardest things imaginable.

Being trans is really hard. It’s not anyone’s fault, and there’s nothing anyone could do to make it not be hard. We have a painful, horrible condition, and pretending the difficulty is external just means we won’t be able to identify the actual issues.

thetroublesofbeingtrans

I can’t help but find this reply kind of patronizing… Not only did I say in my post

“but like… being trans, while it comes with it’s own difficulties “

But also like… It’s not a “painful, horrible condition”. I might have agreed with you a few years ago but I really don’t now. A lot of the difficulty is internal, but I never said that all of it was external in the first place, and it’s actually pretty annoying to make a post about how a lot of my internalized transphobia does come from being mistreated for my identity, and does come from me constantly hearing these negative messages about being trans, and have someone come in and tell me that, no actually, this post that I made about my personal experience is wrong.

I too want to have biological kids. I too hate needles. I too hate wearing a binder. I too can’t have PIV sex because it causes me distress- But despite this, I am completely happy being trans- I am so thankful that I have had the opportunities I have had to transition, to change my name and gender marker, to live my life in stealth. I did these things with little to no support, not from family, and very minimal from friends considering most people do not know I’m trans. To have someone sit here and tell me I don’t know the “actual” issue when I have been transitioning for almost 8 years now is demeaning.

I love my community and the strides we have made, the advocacy we have done for ourselves, the hurdles we have faced to get to where we are today, and our willingness to continue bettering the general community about these issues. Everyone is going to have to get through issues in their lives, everyone is dealt a different set of cards, but my set of cards would be SO much easier to deal with if the society I lived in was more accepting. I do not have to sit here and justify the trauma I went through to a random online, though, so I won’t. Make your own post but do not tell me that my efforts to feel comfortable with my identity through the numerous struggles I have had to go through to get where I am today is an “internal issue”. It is external. If I was not trans I would be a completely different person.

indeedisayexquisite

death-by-lulz

toddlers are essentially just drunk college kids

thetenderpassion

surprisebitch

fuckheads-revenge

As an update, they’ve moved into a house together and are still super cute

officialwayneenterprises123-dea

Gundam Guy is truly a man of patience and diligence. From his attention to detail building his models to the loving attention and detail for his wife.