Cupid's Needles
eddie munson / nancy wheeler
rated teen & up, transmasc eddie munson, transfem nancy wheeler, established relationship, domestic fluff, needles, sexual humor, eddie's first hormone shot
read on archive of our own
wrote this on another account once upon a time. i thought i'd rewrite it for the roulette event and post it to my new platforms since my pairing was edancy. i just love them, your honor. i wanted to a fic centered around the insecurity that sometimes comes with transitioning. a lot of people will often get in your head and make you doubt your own intuition and feelings, making certain aspects of transitioning conflicting and sometimes upsetting. i don't really see a lot of people implementing that in trans fics, so i figured i would since it's something i've struggled with heavily in the past. their dynamic is loosely based on my girlfriend and i. my girlfriend isn't trans, but we've definitely had interactions that bear a striking resemblance of this. she's my rock, so this is dedicated to her. after everything i've been through recently, she's never left my side. i love you, baby.
for the @st-rarepair-roulette and @californiaboytoybilly.
"Stop moving," Nancy chastised, pulling the needle away from Eddie's skin for the umpteenth time and meeting his eyes. "I don't wanna actually hurt you."
Eddie, however, was still cowering in his chair. He had a pillow from there bed hugged tightly to his chest like a child, leering down at his girlfriend with cautious eyes. "You could've fooled me, sweetheart."
An amused grin splits Nancy's face at that. "Eddie, I do this every week on myself. I'm basically a professional."
And, to Nancy's credit, she did. And she was. She had been taking estrogen shots for the last two years without ever needing help. She worked her hormone administrations into her self-care routine seamlessly, as if it were as simple as brushing her teeth.
Except Nancy wasn't utterly terrified of needles.
Eddie groaned, pressing his face into the plush cushion against his chest. "Why is this so hard?" His voice comes out muffled, but the whine is still evident in his tone.
Nancy snickered at him, rubbing the expanse of his exposed thigh comfortingly. "I have no clue, especially when you look like a walking advertisement for tattoo shops everywhere."
"Hey!" Eddie's head shot up rapidly, eyes wide like she'd just said the most unbelievable thing in the world. "That's not the same!"
Her brows cocked upwards in playful curiosity. "How is it not the same?"
"Because," Eddie held out his hands to make vague gestures at her. "Tattoos are like... It's not even...They're two totally different..." His words trailed off as his face crumbled in defeat.
Nancy's gaze softened to something sickeningly fond, giving his leg a squeeze as she kissed his knee. "Do you trust me?"
It was then that Eddie's body relaxed, even if only by a margin. She always seemed to have that effect on him.
After a moment of thinking, Eddie nodded. "A ridiculous amount, unfortunately."
Nancy seemed pleased with that answer, extending her free hand to him. "Here, hold this for me."
Eddie looked between her hand and her entirely-too-calm expression, offense written on his features. "If you think I'm letting you do this one-handed, you're actually crazy."
It was then that she gave him a stern look. "Theodore James Munson, if you don't take my hand right now, I'll actually stab you and get this over with. Pick your poison."
To absolutely no one's surprise, Eddie's hand found hers without further complaint.
With a pleased hum, Nancy gave his hand a squeeze. "Good boy."
Eddie whined again, a burn building in his cheeks. "You're so mean."
"You make it so easy." She teased, starting to rub his knuckles with the pad of her thumb. "Now, can you close your eyes for me?"
Eddie tried to think of a retort to that as well, but after seeing the look in her eyes, he knew arguing was futile. His eyes fall closed at her command.
Eddie felt her lips meet his fingers, gentle kisses scattering the skin there. "You look really handsome today." Nancy mumbled, resting their hands on his unoccupied thigh.
For the first time in the past thirty minutes, Eddie smiled, almost opening his eyes to properly look at her and respond. However, he's met with a swift correction.
Eddie was quick to squeeze them closed again. "Sorry, sorry." He placated. "I was just gonna say I think you look beautiful."
He could practically hear her smile as she spoke again. "Yeah? Tell me what's beautiful about me."
"Is that negative self-talk I hear?"
Eddie huffed, trying to sift through the thousands of examples to pull from. "Well," He started, lips tugging into another grin. "You have beautiful eyes. Your hair always seems to look good no matter what you do to it. I'm convinced your smile could cure any worldly ailment. You're so much more talented than you give yourself credit for. Not to be a freak, but you have a nice collarbo- ah-"
A sudden sharp pinch hit the outside of his thigh, making his face pinch. He drew a shaky, hissing breath, trying his best to keep his eyes shut and off of the needle now piercing his flesh.
But, almost as quickly as it happened, it was over. It took him a few moments to convince himself to look, but when he did, all he saw was the love of his life applying a comically fitting Spider-Man bandage to the injection site.
Nancy set the spent materials aside, looking up at Eddie lovingly. "You can't take back anything you said, or you're sleeping on the couch."
But her tease fell on deaf ears, Eddie's attention zeroed in on his leg. A concoction of emotion swirled in his mind and chest, trying to grapple with the reality that he was finally transitioning. All the hard work he'd put in this past year, all the doctor's appointments, all the therapy sessions. It all led to this.
"Hey." Nancy tried to pull his attention back, voice gentler. "Baby, look at me."
Eddie finally met her gaze again, a new fear settling behind his eyes. Nancy's brows pinched in concern. "Where'd you go just then?"
When Eddie doesn't respond, she pressed again, more insistently. "Talk to me."
It took Eddie several moments to form the words sitting hesitantly on his tongue, hanging his head down for a moment. When he does muster the courage, his voice remains meek and quiet compared to before.
"What if... this doesn't fix it?"
Nancy couldn't hide her confusion if she tried. "Fix what, Eddie?"
"It." He answered, more confidently this time, setting the pillow on the kitchen table. "What if I'm still unhappy? What if I'm..." The word was lodged in his mouth, like a gag.
Finally picking up on his line of thinking, Nancy exhaled a long breath she'd been holding, shaking her head. "Eddie," She squeezed his hand again, firmer than before. "I've known you for five years. I know you can't leave the house without a binder on or you have a panic attack. Anytime you hear your deadname, you recoil. Your whole mood sours if someone uses the wrong pronouns for you. You went through three therapists and seven different doctors just to get the shot I just gave you. At no point did you have doubts. You were counting down the days until your prescription was written for you like it was your own birthday."
Despite all of this, Eddie didn't seem to let go of the insecurity, face still riddled with solemn worry. He hung his head again, starting to sink into his spiraling thoughts.
Until he feels a delicate hand against his jaw, guiding his face back upward. Nancy kept her hand there, holding his head up like he couldn't do so himself. "And if you are wrong? Then you are. If you're right now, but it changes later, then it changes. It doesn't make any of this pointless, or a mistake. This isn't a point of no return. If things end up differently than you pictured it, we can work to get you comfortable again."
The tension started to leave Eddie's body, melting into her touch like they were always meant to be one. Nancy brought her other hand up to his cheek, cupping his face like a prized object to be handled with the utmost care. "I was there for you through your entire coming out journey. Telling Wayne, and the party, and our friends. I was there then, I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. Not ever."
Eddie, at an utter loss of words as his panic dissipates into thin air, leaned down to capture Nancy's lips in a romantic kiss. She sighed into his mouth, carefully moving from her crouched position to slide carefully into his lap. His arms snaked around her waist lazily, pulling her as close as their bodies would allow.
After a few moments of the both of them basking in the domestic bliss that seemed to blanket the room every time they were together, Eddie parted their lip, eyes completely latched onto Nancy in utter adoration. "You gotta do that whole thing every time, though."
Nancy grinned again. "Does that include the twenty minute period where all you did was babble into the pillow anytime I tried to touch you?"
"I mean, you can start tying me to the bed if you think it'd help-"
Nancy smacked his chest as giggles bubbled up Eddie's throat, writhing around in his touch with no real intention of escaping it. "You're an idiot."
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