Starbeanz

| black mixed with black | i love to read and write and obsess over fictional people | 18+ no minors plz and thanks | ✨ 🫠 ✨

[depsidase]

[jewelcoatfish]

ilya sees this old trend where someone holds out a hand to their partner to see what their partner would give them so he comes over to try it with shane who’s on the sofa. he holds out his hand and shane gives him the remote. he tosses the remote aside. shane looks a bit confused. he gives ilya his phone. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya a pillow. ilya tosses that aside. he gives ilya his hand. ilya shakes it out. his face squints in confusion before coming up with an idea and rests his chin on ilya’s hand. and okay, well, the challenge is just to annoy your partner, but holy fuck shane looks so fucking cute with his big brown eyes looking up at ilya waiting for his approval so ilya just really has to smile and kisses him about it.

[paperdollinsane]

Ilya holding him still in this position and relentlessly pounding into him while shane just moans and trembles and takes it because he can’t do anything else

[normal-about-hollanov]

married shane does NOT play about ilya when it comes to the press. he's letting out a decade of pent up 'wheres the fucking translator? what do you fucking MEAN you don't have one?', instant 'rephrase that' to the offending journalist when ilya hesitates over a question, gets into full blown forget-the-media-training arguments when it's implied that ilya is somehow stupid for not speaking perfect english, n switches seamlessly between russian, french, and english to make interviews as easy as possible for ilya. meanwhile ilya is giving him the biggest wettest lover boy eyes n WILL be raw dogging him crazy style the moment its over.

[abyssaldyke]

*smirking* you couldn't waterboard that out of me, but even if torture was an effective method of information extraction and not a futile display of state-sanctioned sadism, the high percentage of false confessions it produces would mean that even if you could waterboard it out of me, could you even trust the veracity of my statement?

[rival2lover]

i'm a perfect all-canadian bitch

[ilyannarozanova]

Ilya looking thee Yuna Hollander dead in the eyes and saying "yeah I'd leave Boston for your son" while wearing his Raiders t-shirt is so iconic. Who is doing it like him

[hydrachea]

> turns on my computer

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> opens my email

> disables a new AI feature that was turned on by default

> launches a software

> disables a new AI fea

[omens-of-what-is-to-cum]

Okay justice for Ilya Rozanov, a man who notably managed his entire families finances and his dementia-having fathers caretaking since he was literally a teenager, while also essentially raising himself to be an elite, generational athlete by himself.

like what is this ‘Ilya needs the threat of a sex ban to pick up his socks’ slander or this ‘Ilya has terrible financial literacy’ misinformation or this ‘Ilya only eats junk food and needs to be forced to eat his veggies’ tomfoolery

[shanesloverboy]

Unfortunately Hudson Williams committed several grave sins to the internet:

Masculanized an Asian character

Became a heartthrob as a POC

Gave an award-winning performance for a neurodivergent character

Is dating a woman after playing a gay man

Gets just as much praise as his white costar

Doesn't censor himself to fit in

IS AN ASIAN MAN WHO HAS PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD SO DIABOLICALLY DOWN BAD FOR HIM

[najsigt]

I've been in a bit of an art funk lately, so I decided to do a little redraw of this piece from 2021.

[llama-sidekick]

did you predict the bloody mary ship

[freezethismoment]

saw a post that said shane is the most Boy to ever boy and i love that so much. he is so Boy.

and now i’m thinking about how he loves to be romantic and chivalrous to ilya— like when they get to the cottage and shane carries ilya’s bag in. he’s a great Boyfriend(husband.) he holds the door for ilya every chance he gets, and ilya (not so) secretly Looooooves it. when they’re at the bar with their team, shane will ask ilya if he wants a drink and go get it for him, hands it off to ilya with a little here you go, baby and then sits at a stool at the bar and ilya leans back between shane’s legs. at team cookouts, shane will tug on ilya’s arm as he’s talking to people until he’s sitting in his lap and ilya will go willingly without even pausing his conversation. shane will grin and wrap his arms around ilya’s stomach, kiss his shoulder. when they’re out to dinner and the bill comes shane will put his card down and ilya will make it a big thing, like oh thank you shane you’re sooo sweet and shane will be like ah it’s no trouble baby (they have a shared bank account.) he loves taking care of his baby!!!!!!! there’s been a rare time or two where shane and ilya are at a club and shane will let go and have a few drinks, get wonderfully tipsy and ilya will drag him out to dance. shane will hold ilya’s hips as ilya dances against him.

this doesn’t really connect to shane is such a Boy. anyway shane is such a Boy who loves taking care of his ilya

[bambicoded]

it's important to me that ilya remains captain of the centaurs after shane joins, but i have a specific picture in my mind of shane being assistant captain and being generally harmless and super chill , so the centaurs see him as like the chill parent (something to be said about shane being content in letting someone else, specifically His Someone, have the reins and enjoying not being in charge) but then ilya has to be out for a few weeks for like health or smth so shane goes into Captain Mode and the centaurs are scared shitless by how intense he gets all of a sudden. the most intense drills of all time. the hardest plays they've ever heard of. the strictest practices on earth. and they suddenly understand why shane led the metros/voyagers to victory so many times and why ilya treats him like the boss in their relationship. and then as soon as ilya comes back he turns it off and the centaurs are like Oh Thank Fuck Because What The Hell Was That

[depsidase]

[darlingofdots]

let's think of some Bits in the Hollander-Rozanov household because every good relationship needs incomprehensible and insufferable Bits:

the random Russian nouns as pet names, obviously

turning to Anya to arbitrate who won the race/loads the dishwasher correctly/scored a sexier goal etc

Ilya. Ilyusha. Ilyushenka. Ilyushenkechka.

and who won Rookie of the Year????

"I have never said this in my life"

threatening to tell Yuna

"pass me the remote?" — "come and get it" — [wrestling]

butt slapping. at every opportunity.

"we will have to shoot you like lame horse" when one of them gets so much as a papercut

idioms translated literally into the wrong language

"this is not hall of fame behaviour"

"who should I bring as my plus one" and listing random people while the other pouts

[lavenderprose]

I need you guys to walk with me and understand that Ilya and Shane's first fuck as a married couple takes place on the edge of Ilya's bed ("Our bed, Hollander, our marital bed--" "Jesus fucking Christ Ilya--") while Usher Yeah! plays at bone-melting volume from the backyard and guys from three different hockey teams yell the lyrics even louder. Shane realizes that Ilya is inadvertently thrusting to the beat and for one very brilliant second it is the hottest thing ever. The mood is genuinely almost ruined when the song switches to Sweet Caroline. Harris should never be allowed to DJ again.

"SWEET CAROLINE. BUM BUM BUM." - Eleven highly inebriated hockey players and David Hollander, who's having great memories of his own wedding where they played the same song.

"Good times never seemed so good..." - Ilya Rozanov, whisper-singing to himself and completely unaware of it as he rails his husband into next Tuesday.

"Why is this hot. Oh my god why is this hot." - Shane Hollander, who at the age of thirty is still discovering things about himself.

[siriuslikethestarr]

shane: carying in all the shopping bags from the store

ilya: reaching a hand out to help

shane: immediately switching all the bags to one hand to hold ilya’s hand