女の赤ちゃん

kayla // 17 // pan tonight we are alive

[userjimin]

[thebestoftumbling]

News anchor laughs at the name of a pig

[stitchdoesnotglitch-blog]

Same

[rockhardgeologist]

[scurgal-archive]

I bet you want to be called by your first name too you thirsty whore

[dateagirlwhosuggestion]

date a girl who is a home and an adventure all at once

[seeklight-deactivated20210703]

Date a girl who doubles as a haunted house

[sw-or-gtfo-deactivated20211219]

my bf has many interesting stories and observations from his new job as a 911 operator

my favorite is how meandering people are, even in the midst of a terrible emergency

they respond to “what is the emergency” with “well, the thing is, four weeks ago–”

and then he’s like “WHAT IS THE EMERGENCY RIGHT NOW”

and they’re like “so what happened this morning was, i said to my wife, i said–”

“WHAT IS CURRENTLY HAPPENING AT THIS MOMENT”

“oh i’m having a heart attack”

my second favorite is how specific he has to get sometimes

like, “what is your emergency?”

“i’m sitting in a pool of blood.”

“… is it… your blood?”

“yes i think so”

“do you know where it’s coming from?”

“probably the stab wound”

“have you been stabbed?”

“oh yah definitely”

[lizawithazed]

In all fairness shock is a hell of a drug

[just-shower-thoughts]

People are like the surgeon general when it comes to washing hands and avoiding bathroom handles but will open a sauce packet with their mouth

[habaryar]

its spelling bee season again

[1deacthedeathmerchant]

My bank was out of fucking envelopes. They gave me a Halloween bag full of money. I told them I felt like I was robbing the place.

[reallifeishorror]

This is the lucky tall Betsy. Reblog and within 24 hours and lucky tall Betsy will grant you an irrelevantly festive bag full o’ moneys.

Haha

[contagiousarea]

Marvel: “Captain America is a HYDRA agent and has been all along

Me:

[crystalground-deactivated201507]

Rules my Grandma's Psychiatrist gave her in 56'

[keepfitstayfab-deactivated20130]

Get some cheap dishes and break them when you get upset.

Learn how to say “NO” and don’t feel guilty about it

Buy something frivolous for yourself once in awhile, like a new hat. 

Never again do anything you don’t want to do. 

that’s damn good advice

[clummyhood]

outer space?

[hotelhalsey]

Is There Somewhere | Halsey

[sadhearts]

not trying to be dramatic but can someone care about me

[meladoodle]

hope this isnt too nsfw for you guys but id really like to hold a hand

[xxdont-fucking-movexx]

[stardustblvds]

me: i hate

someone: you hate what?

me: i HATE