Hopeful

Just a daily journal to help me on my way.

[startoverahgain]

Day 4.

Some days are better than others. Today is not one of those days. I keep telling myself that it’ll be ok to just go to the bar and have one drink. it won’t hurt anyone. but that’s how it all starts over again. You keep one drink to yourself and then you’re back where you began. It’s only day 4, why is it so hard! i keep trying to convince myself that i’d technically not be drinking alone. i’d be at a bar, it’s a friday night. i’ll make friends. but that’s just an excuse to get the first drink in and realized i’ve failed and give up. 3 more hours left of work. i’m strong enough.

[startoverahgain]

Day 3.

Today wasn’t as bad as i’d thought, but i really did want to stop by the bar after work for a vodka. i didn’t and all i drank today was water. hopefully the days will get easier as i go.

[startoverahgain]

Day 2.

I’m pretty sure the Lord is trying me today. (i’m half joking) It’s been rough and i don’t start work again till 5 tomorrow afternoon, so normally after a day like today i’d stop at the 7-11 on my way home and grab some beer and drink the stress away, today that’s a different story. i keep trying to get myself hyped about reading all those comic books i’ve ignored for beer or maybe play the sims, haven’t done that in a while. the hard part is not being able to fall asleep coz i’m usually drunk and that just makes things so much easier. i’ll get through this though. i have to.

[startoverahgain]

Day 1.

Not saying anything to anyone. Would rather not disappoint them. I’ve been binge drinking for far too long now and at my age, it’s starting to take its toll. I’m not saying that i’m gonna stop all together, but i’m definitely going to try and pump the brakes real hard. My last drink was somewhere in the early morning of March 4, 2019. So today, the 5th makes the first full 24hrs without a drink. Also having reintroduced myself to the church i’m going to hope that using this moment to give up beer for lent will help me keep my goal and hopefully heal my body a bit, and maybe my soul. 43 more days to go.

[startoverahgain]

...

it’s some shit when you realize you’ve been erased.