Keni
roma★
izzy's playlists!
Monterey Bay Aquarium
Jules of Nature
JVL
祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Kaledo Art
d e v o n
trying on a metaphor
Product Placement
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Aqua Utopia｜海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
cherry valley forever
titsay
shark vs the universe
taylor price
ellievsbear
Peter Solarz
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@startswiththemblog
Time in a Bottle
Time in a Bottle
I identified a new feeling today. It seems a silly thing to say, as if I’m growing alongside my 2-year old nephew and finding out about being “happy”, “sad”, and “mad” for the first time, rather than being a 30-year old adult who talks about their feelings every chance they get, even if people are simply trying to get drunk at a party. What I’ve been periodically feeling, and unfortunately know…
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Reaching Out
I can’t tell if this is regular adult life, adult life in this stage of society, or the particular network of people that I know, but I know a lot of people who have mental health issues or have lost a significant person in their life by their mid-20s. Those have been the main causes of my troubles from the past several years, and while I knew there were communities of people who had been in…
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The Difference Between 2 and 3
It has been ten days since the third Noticing of my dad and this is the first time I’ve sat down to write a post. I flip between thinking this does and does not mean something. The first Noticing is understandably a huge thing, and the second wasn’t much easier; should the third have been more like the first two or should it have been more like those to come? Do I get less sad over the years or…
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A Ban on Milestones
A Ban on Milestones
It’s not a great attitude, but if you don’t look into what happens in your life that much and don’t reflect, it’s pretty easy to get through; it’s most difficult when you’re really paying attention. Despite saying that, things are genuinely going really well for me. It’s been half a year since I’ve last written something for this blog, and in that time I have: been hired full time at a company…
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Life after Pills
Things are pretty good right now. I’ve been off my antidepressants for at least a month now? And other than the first few days where it was too dramatic of a change, it’s been fine. Even though I talked about weaning myself off gradually, I didn’t because I was lazy and just stopped taking them. It really helps that things in life are good. I’m seeing a good variety of my friends and family, I’m…
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Depression as an Identity
Depression as an Identity
Two things are spurring this discussion: A friend talking about their experience of weaning off of Cymbalta Kesha’s release of Rainbow My friend has been on antidepressants for a bit under five months and it seems to have worked for them, so they’ve started weaning themselves off. It sounds like Cymbalta comes in 30mg, perhaps also 20mg, pills and my friend was instructed to take one pill every…
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Smorgasbord of Feelings
We think about this blog a lot, believe it or not. Earlier this year, Yvonne had to get her gallbladder removed and she contemplated writing about it, but it takes a while to decide on the angle at which you’d like to take it, and then it takes too much to actually write the piece, should you ever make the first decision. I have small ideas for posts, but have the same issue of it taking too much…
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"River", Leon Bridges
“River”, Leon Bridges
The only other time we’ve mentioned music on this blog has been when we’ve talked about Florence and the Machine’s Third Eye, and that’s pretty much just because we really like that song. Leon Bridges, however, has been intertwined in our lives perhaps in a way that no other artist has. (An excellent contender is the song My Girl by the Temptations, but the band as a whole plays little to no role…
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Is my depression showing?
Is my depression showing?
Normally I don’t give two hoots about who knows that I have depression. I’ll be the first to throw it into conversation and explain my experience and justify the behaviours of people with mental illness. Obviously I write about it here and share most posts on my Facebook, meaning potentially my friends see it and know what I’m going through. Perhaps if I wrote more professionally, i.e. minus more…
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The Ripple Effect
Recently our cousin Andrea and one of her friends created a podcast, “Grief“, as part of a series, We Muse Aloud. In it, Andrea and two friends discuss the losses of their parents (to a natural disaster, to suicide, to cancer) and how that and grieving has impacted their lives. Even though I was alive when Andrea lost her parents and even though I’ve had several deaths in my life (my dad was #9),…
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A love letter to a depressed friend
A love letter to a depressed friend
I’ve been reading your blog posts, y’know, and you need to keep writing them, for both of us. Of course I know that we both have depression of the same sort and so we must have at least some similar feelings and experiences. I know that, but when you write about your suffering, I know and then I remember that someone – and then by expansion, everyone else I know with mental illness – suffers in…
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Caught off guard
I know very well that my dad is no longer here. All my friends and family know it too. It’s easy to bring him up because we know the state of things and know that any mention of him is an anecdote of some ridiculous thing he has done. Sometimes it feels like I’ve hit a place where my heart has acknowledged his death so well that it’s as fine as it can be with the situation. But then something…
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In our garden 02
In our garden 02
As a follow up from our first post about our 2016 garden, I only have to report that I love what has grown, everything is in good order, and I’m so happy to do this for both our diets and my soul. To be fair, the only produce we’ve eaten is kale and snow peas, and the six snow peas we’ve had we’ve only harvested in the past two days. BUT we’ve been eating so much kale. I used to hate it (unlike…
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What you deserve
Today my heart is full of love. Love for my country (it’s Canada day), for my family, for my dad, for my aunts (their birthday is today), for my friends, and everything else there is. (It helps that the rain cleared and the weather is now beautiful.) We love Florence and the Machine and Yvonne has mentioned Third Eye, a song from Florence’s latest album, and this lyric: You don’t have to be a…
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It's all relative
It’s all relative
I convocated from McGill for my Masters the other week. Both of my siblings have Masters (What a costly bunch of kids we all are), but this was actually the first Masters convocation my mom has been to. The three of us are square for grad photos with my dad though since he hasn’t gotten to go to any of our Masters ceremonies (note: our parents did go to each of our undergrad ceremonies). The…
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In our garden
We won’t be doing Round 2 of CSA PSA this year: instead, we’ll be gardening and growing our own vegetables and herbs. If we were a gardening blog, we should have posted about this weeks ago right when we planted things so that you could have followed along with us, but between busy lives (Yvonne) and crippling mental illness ruining motivation (me), we’ll say that that isn’t quite the scope of…
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What a strange thing
What a strange thing
Today the blog turns one and I can hardly believe it. 366 days ago, on a sunny Sunday afternoon, I decided to log onto to WordPress and start this blog. I wasn’t entirely sure what direction this space would take or even how long my blogging adventure would last. A week? A month? Well, it turns out it’s lasted at least a year, although my attendance has been spotty at times. The day I started…
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