The thirteen probably complain SO MUCH about the old jokes but they all are old so they can't complain, its not allowed:
Not a single one of them is capable of sitting down or standing up without groaning loud enough for the entire house to hear.
They all pull the "when I was a kid we walked five miles in the snow uphill both ways to go to school" stories like 7 times a day.
Also the "If you aren't old enough to remember the revolution, you're not old enough for your opinion to matter to me" (but they don't listen to each other either so rlly its a shitty excuse).
"When I was your age I had three jobs and seven roommates all named William and was happy as a clam, while you young states get on the tick tock and make videos complaining about everything"
speaking of put 'the' before every app name, 'the tiktok' 'the youtube' 'the google' 'the instagram' 'the facebook' it's not necessary. California loses a bit more sanity every time they hear it, NY being their bf is definitly doing it on purpose by now.
"Western States" (said in the same tone as 'kids these days') -- a true and real quote by the state of Delaware.
they eat dinner at like 4 pm. because. logic.
They all have at least 1 stereotypical old person collection, those little porcelain statues, decorative plates, stamps, coins, fucking cuckoo clocks. props if u collect that stuff its neat but dear lord.
they're all stubborn about it but half of them need glasses, the other half should start looking into hearing aids, at least two or three should really be using a cane but it's going to take not being able to read menus, hours of going "WHAT?" from like 4 feet away, and a broken hip before any of them "admit defeat" or whatever they think it is.
They all lore drop like no ones business, one second you're watching tv while daring to sit next to one of them and the next second you're getting first had details of Valley Forge, “that sounds traumatizing” “it was character building”
They also bring up decades old drama that was between people that are long dead. The states all sitting around getting to hear about the pettiest feuds the founding fathers ever had. Tell Lin to get his pen ready we need a whole second musical just about this undocumented beef.
the old jokes are the singular thing Florida keeps his mouth shut on bc he’s older then all of them and if he’s not careful they’ll come for him next.
