Ready Ready Ready Baby Today's My Lucky Day @stay-elf-bebe - Tumblr Blog

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Hello I think we use to be friends like??? Back in 2019 or somwthing?? I use to go by Sami and was the owner of sunrose-kpop and I just randomly found your blog again and recognized your name (if I have the wrong person please ignore me lmao)

Omg hey!!!! I barely use Tumblr atm so sorry this has probably been in here awhile 😭 its been forever!

#tell me how life has been #havent talked to any tumblr people in like forever been so busy

Testing???

Aced it

kyu unblock us 🥺🥺

I LITERALLY CANT 😭

@emberfaye pls save me

valhallaforducks

I love to think about touch starved Kim and Chay. Kim, whose only really experience with touch is blows from fights and training-- Chay who grew up with hugs and hair ruffles and hands on shoulders and all of that is gone with Porsche. So physical affection is so hard for Kim, and so easy for Chay. So like when Kim ruffles Chay's hair for the first time? That's so huge for both of them. Kim getting hugged in a death squeeze by an overwhelmed Chay? Lifechanging. And when they get together Chay teaches Kim all about the joy of holding hands. Kim is initially resistant because what if they're attacked? He'll need his hands free. But Chay laces their fingers together in the safety of Kim's apartment and strokes Kim's wrist with his thumb and Kim just melts.

Soon he's reaching for Chay's hand in the streets because when Chay's hand is in Kim's he feels so safe. His anxiety fades to a whisper. In no time Kim is seeking physical affection like a cat. He wraps his arms around Chay, nuzzles into Chay's cheek, eats entire meals with one hand on the small of Chay's back. And Chay's soul is feasting on all of the little touches, the care, the affection. They sit on the couch watching a movie, Kim's head in Chay's lap, Chay running his fingers through Kim's hair, Kim stroking Chay's knee and they're happiest they've ever been.

Their brothers given them shit for constantly seeking out a physical connection with each other. An exasperated Porsche tries to literally pry Chay out of Kim's arms, but they don't care. They want to touch and be touched. Khun and Kinn barely recognize their brother, but Kim will never go back to physical isolation now that he knows the joy of Chay's touch. And Chay will never again have to go without tangible reminders that he is very loved as long as he has Kim.

goodbyeapathy8

Leaving Kindergarten Mafia

There have already been a few posts floating around about the Discord server implosion of Kindergarten Mafia. They do a great job of outlining the events that happened, with documentation, directly from the folks who were harmed by the server owner (Hann) and mods that helped enable their racism. (Snake and Mouse, Jinx1, Jinx2, mousydentist, Faye, among others.) So I'm not going to do that.

These are my own thoughts on the specific racism and tenets of white supremacy that I observed in the server as well as a general commentary on joining fandom spaces.

Rarely do I emphasize my age but it's relevant so here we are : I am 35 years old this year and Kindergarten Mafia was part of my first baby steps into any fandom. Ironically, my hesitation to join fandom ended up being proven because I had heard, for a very long time, that fandom spaces were dominated by racism and a failure to acknowledge POC fans. For a long time, I was complacent and felt "safe" in that server of 300+ folks.

Until one Native member spoke up about the usage of "spirit animal" as appropriative and the cracks in the foundations began to show themselves to everyone and not just the people with marginalized identities.

I had already started to feel uncomfortable in how the server dealt with ableism. There was also a member who I've previously called out on Tumblr, for usage of the m*dget slur in their story, and who became extremely vocal recently. (Spoiler alert - they wrote an entire essay excusing their usage of it, multiple times in the fic, because they couldn't be creative or bothered enough to come up with an alternative for a "short person".)

Without further ado, let's get into it. These are all from the link above, "tenets of white supremacy in organizations" (and yes, a Discord server of 300+ people absolutely DOES count as an organization).

1. Sense of Urgency, such as prioritizing quick or highly visible results that can exclude potential allies. -> In the server, both server owner and problematic mods continued to emphasize that their "missteps" (i.e. racism) was due to needing to seek a solution ASAP for the good of the server.

2. Worshipping the Written Word, such as valuing strong documentation and writing skills. -> Rebuttals to POC/marginalized folks were constantly full of dictionary definitions, copied over.

3. Believing in Only One Right Way, such as concluding something is wrong with people who refuse to adapt or change. -> POC members and allies were banned when anger was expressed because OUR anger suddenly made it an "unsafe" space for the server owner and problematic mods.

4. Paternalism, such as decision-making processes that are only understood by those with power and unclear to those without it. -> Despite multiple server users disagreeing with the server owner's tactics (including the co-owner, who stepped down), Hann continued to defend + make decisions.

5. Defensiveness, such as spending energy trying to protect power or defend against charges of racism. -> There's too many examples to cite here. But in the end, it was claimed that the initial problem was solved. And then the problem mod was invited back. With additional defense of why.

6. Power Hoarding, such as feeling threatened when anyone suggests organizational changes. -> Instead of wanting to listen to marginalized identities, the server was threatened with a shut-down. Multiple people stepped up to take over as server owner. But power hoarding was more important so not only was the server shut down... it was resurrected from the dead to include their favorite (white) people. This leads us to...

7. Believing I’m the Only One, such as thinking that if something is going to get done right, then ‘I’ have to do it.

8. Fear of Open Conflict, such as equating the raising of difficult issues with being rude or impolite. -> The initial issue around the problematic phrase was ridiculously hush hush. POC members were banned for their (rightfully so) angry remarks.

9. Believing in Objectivity, such as considering emotions to be irrational and destructive to decision-making. -> Not just the server owner but the people who rushed to defend them and the problematic mods, claimed to be impartial and objective, based on their queer identities or other things. As humans, none of us can actually be objective and all of us are a little racist because racism is a systemic problem that we were raised under.

10. Claiming a Right to Comfort, such as scapegoating those who cause emotional or psychological discomfort. -> In the end, it was clear that only whiteness was valued when POC folks + allies were banned or made to feel uncomfortable enough to leave (such as myself).

I know I've only posted my thoughts/feelings vs documentation (which, you shouldn't always demand because see above for "worshipping the written word") but if this screenshot of the new rules for the new server doesn't convince you that something (racism/cult-ism) is wrong with these folks... I don't know what will.

TL;DR - Ownership and modding of a large Discord server doesn't make you a god. You are, unfortunately, still a puny mortal with the biases that come along with being as such. I'm sure it was a fun power trip for those involved but I am happy to expose the rotting underbelly in a way that I see fit.

In conclusion, I leave you with further reading that will help decolonize your mindset and has done a much better job at showing that the problems with the Kindergarten Mafia are not unique (as they claimed). It is one that those of us with marginalized identities face constantly and we are fucking tired of running into this and being treated in a way that emphasizes the problem with our existence in real life. Intersectionality and decolonization is what will actually liberate us, and without both, online spaces are simply the same reflections of real life.

At the very least, I hope it gives some of you food for thought.

The second you remind people that you’re also a person of color and that matters to you as much as your queerness does, it becomes a problem

(I will also post my Scathing Letter™ that was my last message in the server as a separate post because I am wordy AF and this is already too long.)

jynxed13

Kindergarten Mafia Discord Server

Just to preface this, I tried to resolve this differently but oh well here we are instead.

Anyone that's aware of or in the Kindergarten Mafia KinnPorsche server is probably aware that there was a massive issue a few months ago about racism that ultimately blew up and resulted in a lot of people feeling hurt, leaving the server, or being angry. If you would like information about it, feel free to message me and I will answer any questions.

My issue today is that after a very long exchange with the server owner, the mod and multiple server members in which I was belittled, insulted, called names, and mocked. I chose to step away to prevent myself from being banned because I had content in the server that I wanted and because so much of the server was filled with my contributions, most all of the threads were mine and even though I was not a mod I volunteered a lot of my free time and effort to helping the server run and grow. I expressed multiple times that I deeply valued those things and that I wanted to save them elsewhere before I left but that it was such a large amount it was not fast going. I stated that I would be going inactive while I gather my things and then I would be gone. Hann chose instead to ban me without notice. Which annoyed me because I lost all of my content but it was fine, I had come up with those things once, I could do it again. But I was then informed that while they had banned me, they had not deleted my content or contributions to the server. So I messaged the owner and explained that I wanted everything that had come from me to be deleted.

I wanted this simply because, if I am not allowed access to my own content then I do not want anyone else having access to it either. It may sound selfish but those are my things, that is time that I put in, ideas that I came up with and work that I did; it belongs to me. While I was fine sharing it, I am not fine with having it taken and even less fine with it being used when I can't use it myself.

I explained this to Hann and was told first that it was an impossible and unrealistic task to expect them to complete given how much content I had in the server, which I found a solution for by finding a bot command that would make it easier. Then the goalpost shifted to being unfair to the other server members who had bounced off of my ideas or who's ideas I had interacted with, and because of how many members were using things that I had created. I explained that it was not my issue and that regardless of what may have spawned from them or how they were being used, my contributions were still mine and if I can't have access to them neither should anyone else. I spent all day repeating this and asking for a confirmation that my content would be deleted and was made to wait, and then finally I was told no.

So now I'm here saying that if you see any messages, quotes, threads, links, ideas, ect. of mine in the Kindergarten Mafia server, then you are looking at deliberately and maliciously stolen content, that was taken from a POC creator by a whiter server owner, because they felt like their server was more important than respecting the wishes of the creator of the content.

Below is a collection of screenshots that show the conversation, added because someone like's to call me a liar.

#this whole thing is fucckkked up

lemonfreshlysqueezed

The sluttiest thing a man can do is be Jeff Satur

#honestly #yeah

gfwooyo

turns out gender IS real but jeff satur is in possession of all of it

#the gender envy i have astronomical

be-your-luve

Jeff Satur at The Guitar Mag Awards 2022

#god save me

oishitea

Imagine being a baker and this dude lowers his umbrella and reveals that he is the prettiest motherfucker you have ever seen and later you find out he's an alien. Haha.