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@jacobscustos
idk if this has been posted on tumblr before but this is canon
-boops your nose- send this to ten blogs you think are lovely and deserve a boop on the nose. Boop boop motherfucker.
oh fuck i've been booped!!! boop boop that's the sound of the police
he’s bleeding sad and wet but his tits look spectacular
the quarry (2022)
source: smosh TNTL
Random headcanon of mine: Dylan got Mr. H to give him back his phone for specific morning announcements so he could play someone’s favorite song on their birthday (the idea came up in a convo with some friends and it won’t leave my brain)
!!!! anon you're so right and your brain is so wonderful
imagine how funny it'd have been if max were there and his birthday fell during camp. he would've absolutely picked some stupid shit and dylan would have to play it bc he's set a precedent goddammit.
and so he goes, in the most monotone voice ever, "happy birthday max," and then it just starts playing fucking gangnam style or chug jug
saying “hm. must be the curse” every time something bad happens and refusing to elaborate is my new hobby
Lilac, carmine, lemon, steel
lilac - you make my dash better and i cherish you carmine - i'm on one knee proposing <3 lemon - funniest tags known to man steel - you post the most beautiful art/fics/edits
not only am i accepting your proposal i am also giving you the biggest hug ever (contactless if you're not ok with physical touch!)
ALT
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i would pay so much money for a DLC where the opening of the game changes which of the two (laura and max) gets infected. i would kill to see max, literal sunshine incarnate, with a gun getting ready to massacre a whole bloodline bc his girlfriend got bit. i would die to see max choose someone other than ryan to go with him to the hackett house (maybe kaitlyn or dylan?). i would commit atrocities to see max and t-money travis hackett join forces to find the original werewolf. i would go fucking feral to know what kind of distraction max would do if his inarguably more normal girlfriend just started squealing at constance. literally idk what i would do if i saw skyler gisondo as max brinly acting like a gritty action hero. pass away ig
everyone in the tags developing this AU path: literally you’re so big brained and you deserve lots of money and love and happiness
live
love
let me bite u
i was born today
the quarry but every character has a different role
jacob is now in max's shoes. distressed dogboy that loves naught but his gf and also processed snack foods. this sad little woof woof finding a crop top and yoga pants and being like "oh hell yeah i can make this work" only to get murked by kaylee hackett on the other side of the island
emma is now in laura's position. she broke up with jacob the day before they managed to escape chris hackett's Jail for Dogs & Ne'er-Do-Wells and now she feels like she needs to alleviate his curse bc he's been pretty bummed out since. vlogging her entire trip to the hackett house with the expressed intent to murder a man
ryan is in abi's role. the suave announcements boy has been on his mind this entire time and the day that they both finally tell each other that they like each other, he gets infected with Says Really Mean Things And Attempts Homicide On You And Also Is A Werewolf disease. he's abt to start biting ppl fr
dylan is in a similar situation to nick. not only did abi just kiss him for no real reason at the firepit but finally when he tells the guy he's liked all summer that he likes him, he gets attacked by a fucking bear??? homophobia still has some shooters out there apparently! also he's saying rude things he doesn't mean and it hurts :(
abi is now filling emma's role. she and the cute australian guy have been flirting all summer but she seriously misfires bc she assumes that making him jealous would be what made him want to make things official. plus now she's wearing baggy-ass clothes and running from murderous animals(?) so things have been tough lately
nick is currently in jacob's situation. he planned on making tonight the night he asked abi to go steady, but completely forgot that this was the day they left camp, so he oopsie poopsies the van. whoops nick you did a fucky wucky and now people are dying! also he had to watch abi kiss a very vehemently gay man to make him jealous and also he's naked. bad night overall buddy
laura is in kaitlyn's shoes. she's literally the only person here with an okay response to trauma, although a bit skewed since she does also tend to shoot at the problem first. the bright side is that she gets to be with her boyfriend for most of the entire night, so that's neat! (and come on of course she would get after max for not knowing the hackett's quarry song)
max is now in dylan's role. he's mostly just scared shitless of kaitlyn so the speech over the intercom is part fear of the bears(?) and part fear that kaitlyn will stab him if he gets the terminology wrong. ready to lay down his life to protect his gf, even if he's abt to turn into a werewolf. he's gonna react even more severely to getting maced (febreezed) by abi though, although he can act. give the boy a hand (srsly he needs it)
kaitlyn stands where ryan stood in canon. she's so confused when abi gives her the dare to kiss either max or laura but honestly she thinks they're both cute so. when emma shows up she's like "wait where's jacob?" and emma's like "about that" and kaitlyn's like "ok so i'm going to go save my bestie and i want it known that i'm not a fan of u but i also do think you're gorgeous"
bobby now owns and runs hackett's quarry. after his duty was up, he came back and started the camp and has adored being a mentor to kids since. no one at camp ever saw him angry before the incident with the van and they're all literally terrified of him now
chris is the sheriff of northkill. he got appointed sheriff after the death of the previous sheriff in the fire at eliza's sideshow, and has taken the position very seriously, in exchange for keeping eliza and silas's secret (the whole werewolf thing), which is why he keeps jacob and emma over the summer
travis is constance and eliza's handyman. he's felt the need to be worthy of approval since birth, and has taken up to doing the dirty work for his mom as a way of proving himself. he's fully aware that being stabbed hurts and will do it again unprovoked
constance goes out hunting with travis. she fills the same role her husband did in canon. emma reminds her what happened to her husband and she threatens to torture her endlessly. also there's smth going on with eliza but idk they're gal pals
eliza fills the same role as constance did in canon. after the fire that burned down her sideshow and killed jedediah, constance offered to let her and her son silas stay with them. after emma kills silas during the night, she becomes silent with rage
kaylee is now the biggest threat of the hackett werewolves. she's filling in for her brother caleb. freeze-dried girlboss
silas is floating in the pool now. rip dogboy. also he was the one that convinced kaylee to start the fire. manipulative little shit
caleb is patient zero. after helping to rescue silas and eliza from the sideshow, caleb notices a bite on his leg. while running from the flames, the "dog man" (eliza's ex-husband) bit him. the dog man died in the fire, but the curse lived on, as caleb left his grandfather to die in the chaos
jedediah's taken up tarot since dying. he cursed his bloodline after seeing caleb and kaylee among the flames, refusing to save him, opting instead to save an albino boy and a woman that he barely knew. he's now trying to convince whoever is listening to off the vorez family, even at the cost of his own family. plus lance hendriksen would fucking slay this role i mean come on
i would pay so much money for a DLC where the opening of the game changes which of the two (laura and max) gets infected. i would kill to see max, literal sunshine incarnate, with a gun getting ready to massacre a whole bloodline bc his girlfriend got bit. i would die to see max choose someone other than ryan to go with him to the hackett house (maybe kaitlyn or dylan?). i would commit atrocities to see max and t-money travis hackett join forces to find the original werewolf. i would go fucking feral to know what kind of distraction max would do if his inarguably more normal girlfriend just started squealing at constance. literally idk what i would do if i saw skyler gisondo as max brinly acting like a gritty action hero. pass away ig
this post got me thinking abt role swaps so expect a post abt my favorite role swap ideas
i would pay so much money for a DLC where the opening of the game changes which of the two (laura and max) gets infected. i would kill to see max, literal sunshine incarnate, with a gun getting ready to massacre a whole bloodline bc his girlfriend got bit. i would die to see max choose someone other than ryan to go with him to the hackett house (maybe kaitlyn or dylan?). i would commit atrocities to see max and t-money travis hackett join forces to find the original werewolf. i would go fucking feral to know what kind of distraction max would do if his inarguably more normal girlfriend just started squealing at constance. literally idk what i would do if i saw skyler gisondo as max brinly acting like a gritty action hero. pass away ig
on the topic of Ryan being a himbo, can you imagine him and Jacob being in charge of a camp activity?
They would have a problem with equipment or something, and both of them would stand there blankly and brainstorm horrible solutions. They sarcastically reject the other’s solution because of course they do.
can i bite you
only if it’s gay and you promise to be weird about it
