I was recently asked what I like about being an ageplay caregiver and I figured I would try and share with you all my thoughts.
I think there are multiple different angles that I could attack this from but I think that no matter what angle I attack this from, it always comes back to one thing. Control. I love Control, almost to a point that it could be a flaw. In my vanilla life it pops up every where, I am a programmer because writing how a specific thing is supposed to work is an amazing puzzle to me, writing it in a way that is easily readable, testable and efficient is even better. I love to DM in table top, I love to throw parties, I love to run Blood on the clocktower games. When being given the opportunity to guide something into an experience that is unique and clever, I am the most happy. For me I have always felt like being someone's Daddy is the ultimate control. I have had this kink since I was first masturbating, there is one phrase that was always a triggering intense feelings for me "Potty training is one of the first things you were taught as a child and by me removing that from you, I am removing the first rung of the ladder that you have used to get to where you are now". Control is very prevalent in kink, there is a million ways to do it. And I definitely love those too. But to me ageplay is the only one that feels like I am taking away things that were already earned. Privacy, intelligence, style, sex, these were all things that as a human you were not given inherently but were slowly built as someone goes through life proving that they are worthy of those things because they have grown out of the status of "child". In my head removing that proof is to take away something instead of forcing someone to be something. Which leads me to my next point.
When I look at my partners and anyone I have ever been sexually attracted to, I see a line up of incredible people. There are people who tend gardens, know their way around a power tool, have earned Master's degrees, live on their own, write, discuss, earn, philosophize, handle struggle, been through the worst and keep living. Even physically, there are people with big breasts, strong shoulders, tall, tattoos, greying hair, stretch marks, smile lines, and piercings. I have seen them in lingerie, heels, suits, and straps. I do not think I am interested in one person in an ageplay sense that does not have any of these characteristics, which is why it is so hot to reduce them to a world that they are treated like a small baby. The difference is what is hot to me, not what they wear or act but how they were wearing and acting before. And not even is it hot but it's actually so intimate to me. These people are seen as they are, adults with so much talent, passion and competency. But I get to see them as something that feels unnatural. I put them in a world that has no expectations or judgement. A world in which I can take care of them.
Finally I want to focus on myself. I think if you truly know me, there is a person who just truly just wants to be needed. There was a time that I felt that if I disappeared from the world, the world would be a better place. While kink was not the reason that I have removed that thought from my mind. It is absolutely a way that I soothed it. Because being a Daddy is to be needed. When you are my little you need me to dress you, you need me to handle your uncontrollable emotions, you need me to know better than you. And while there is many other kinks that involve me being needed. Ageplay is one where my adult partner comes to me at the end of the night and says without words "Here is a book that I am perfectly capable of reading myself, but I need you to read it because there is no one else in the world that can read it like you"
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