StephTheGeek.com - v 7.0

Let's try this again...

[stephthegeek]

Switching from VCSO to ProShot on my Nexus 5X this weekend. I discovered that VSCO on Android doesn’t allow you to export your unsaved photos, unless you’ve rooted your device or are willing to click each photo and export manually in batches of a dozen or so. Soooo I went looking for an alternative with better manual controls.

Manual focus makes it possible to grab trickier shots like the top one, or anytime you want to focus on something that isn’t a large, central target area. It’s also useful if you want to set up your shot’s focus before the subject is in frame, such as when you’re capturing a fast moving close object.

For the two lower shots, I was trying to expose for my black pants. On the left, using VSCO with automatic settings, I had to reduce the exposure and increase contrast significantly to get a deep grey, and in doing so, some areas (like the bottom of my shirt) are too high contrast. Also, see the poster in the upper right corner. There was no way VSCO was going to let me take this shot and preserve at least a bit of detail from the poster text.

It’s a whole new era of mobile photography for me :)

[stephthegeek]

Building a personal chatbot: AIML maps & wildcard priority

So far we’ve covered AIML template/pattern syntax, sets, basic variables, wildcards, and simple recursion. Now let’s loo…

Four new pieces up on Medium about writing your own chatbot!

[stephthegeek]

In which BPD rears its ugly head

It sucks to struggle with a disorder whose symptoms include basically acting like an asshole sometimes. I know people probably think that's an excuse to be a jerk, but you don't know what it's like inside my own head when I'm watching myself on self-destructive autopilot. Everything in me screams to not to say or do something, then I'm helpless to watch the trainwreck unfold. 

Imagine watching your leg, possessed, repeatedly kicking someone you love (including yourself). Hurting them. Confusing them. Feeling guilty and awful and useless and that you're not trying hard enough despite giving everything.

The good news is that this isn't a life sentence, despite that BPD is still sometimes presented as incurable. I am so so SO much healthier than I was a couple of years ago, through medication and therapy. I can often override the agony and remove myself from the situation. I'm not a complete slave to my emotions. I had once refused to believe there was any other way in life. It's still a little bit of a novelty to not hurt myself and destroy things on a regular basis. I feel myself getting stronger every time I grit my teeth, take a deep breath, then ungrit my teeth, and realize that I haven't just hurled my laptop into the wall again.

It's no coincidence that some of the most empathetic, sensitive people are afflicted with BPD. It's part of how we got here in the first place. One cool side effect is that I've become even more compassionate when other people act like assholes. I've always been one to assume that the person who cut me off made a mistake rather than is consistently a dick, but I understand even more now how so much of life is messy human factors. 

And boy are we diverse and messy.

[stephthegeek]

Building a personal AI chatbot

I’d like to share a short project proposal with you. 

Digital Narratives - Proposing a Virtual Self

The catch? I wrote this outline for grad school nearly eight years ago! AJAX was still the new hotness, smartphones were barely starting to hit the mainstream, and chances are you hadn’t heard of Twitter yet.

I didn’t end up doing the project as described (that’s another story), but I’ve now come back to this document as a source of inspiration and focus.

Keep an eye on #stephthebot as I’m learning and building :) You’ll be able to chat with her soon!

[stephthegeek]

Hey, what's this, I have some goals for 2016!

1) Take a part time, in-person JS course.

My mediocre JS skillz are the biggest thing holding me back from getting up to speed on, uh, the last 2-3 years of web development and more full stack stuff. I don't really want to re-launch a coding career, but I recognize that I have all the web dev bedrock, and a targeted effort to update a key skill area will add another arrow to my quiver. 

2) Get back on the webcam 1-4x/week and stick to a schedule best I can.

The schedule in and of itself is helpful to me. I can cam mid-mornings and it gets me feeling polished, but then I've still got the rest of the day. Things were better when this was a routine. Next day deposits are motivating.

3) Volunteer with a crisis chat.

Been thinking about this for a while and actually looked into it today. The training and shift requirements for the sites that look good are more than I can take on right now, but I'd like to start the process before the end of the year.

[stephthegeek]

Recovery is complicated

There are always questions in the back of my head.

How much of a life should I have while I’m trying to rebuild my life?

Am I sick enough to "deserve" not holding down a full time job? Aren't others much sicker?

How do I prioritize social and emotional advances with more tangible skills?

Is having fun okay?

Do I look like I’m having too much fun?

Guilt… shame… doubt… 

Recovery is what helps me live a fulfilled, productive, connected, and happy life. Taking steps towards that is progress.

It takes a lot of downtime to feel like I actually have space to make big picture progress. But if Z doesn’t happen without Y, then Y is necessary. 

Y is the basics of self-care, like sleep, deep breathing, or therapy. 

But Y is also laughing with friends, taking sexy photos, saving the energy spoons to cook a fancy meal, developing a personal style, going down a wiki rabbit hole, and spending the day figuring out your political preferences.

Y is recovery. 

Pushing yourself to do more can be a good thing. Judging yourself to be a shitty person because you’re not able to do something is painful and does not achieve the desired result.

Our rational mind runs a step ahead. We see the practices needed for recovery and we feel the painful gap of what we can understand versus what we can accomplish. But nothing is accomplished in beating ourselves up about it. 

Keep practicing life with an open mind and an open heart.

[stephthegeek]

[stephthegeek]

Well, fuck.

[stephthegeek]

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[stephthegeek]

raw. tired of myself.

[stephthegeek]

Aka that thing I made to play with housemates for my birthday!

[stephthegeek]

I've been using photofeeler for a while to assist with selecting profile/bio pictures and I thought it would be interesting to post some results.

I'm a bit surprised at the lower scores for the recent shots! I'm going to run another test with them as "dating" and "professional" (with maybe "Artist" as my proposed job title?).

It's also kinda fun rating others' pics for credits :)

[stephthegeek]

[defineyourgrind]