After Levi's Squad members death, you're yelling at him to see any emotions on his face.
TW: death mentions, loss.
“How can you be so heartless?!” you yell, feeling how tears run down your face. “Why don't you care?!”
You know you shouldn't act like this, Levi is the Captain after all, and you're just a soldier. Not even a member of his squad... Because his squad doesn't even exist anymore. They're all dead.
In your mind, you see a clear image of Petra's face. She was your dear friend. The same as the rest of Levi's team. Losing them hurts so much, that you regret you weren't there with them. And the pain makes you lose control. Makes you angry. Angry on everything and everyone, and especially on Levi. How dare he be so calm?! How dare he pretend that nothing happened?! How dare he be so silent, when your thoughts are so loud?!
And now, you're yelling at him, and he's still silent. He doesn't even call you 'fucking brat'. He's just standing there, looking at you with that gaze, which can mean everything.
Hanji is the one who stops it. The moment before you try to come closer to Levi and punch his stupid face.
She takes you to your room, talking to you all the time. But you don't even register any of her words. You can just think about the emptiness in your heart.
After a few hours, you realize that you screwed up. You think clearly now, and you know you need to make things right. You're finding Levi sitting on the wall and looking at the courtyard. It's raining, which makes him look like some mythical creature.
“Captain?” You make a few steps closer, not sure what distance you should keep.
“What?” he says, sounding bored and irritated, not even bothering to look at you.
“I'm here to apologize to you.”
“Tch... Who made you do this? Hanji?” he asks, still not looking at you.
“What? No, it was my...” you begin, but then you realize any further explanation isn't necessary. You just need to say what you planned for this moment. “I want to apologize to you for my behaviour. It was inappropriate and disrespectful. It won't happen again. I'm ready to take my punishment.”
Levi finally turns around.
“You really expect me to punish you for saying what you're thinking? You didn't disobey my orders, you just were an annoying brat.”
He rolls his eyes and goes back to watching the sky.
You smile lightly because this time the silence is a good sign. You're fine. Everything will be fine. And maybe there's still hope.
“Can I sit here with you, Captain?”
“Only if you shut up,” he murmurs, but he doesn't sound annoyed this time. It's like he just doesn't want to admit he would appreciate your company.
You climb on the wall next to him, your arm brushes his. It comforts you somehow. Being so close to Levi always makes you feel better. You try to fight this feeling, but it's so hard. And why would you fight with that if it's a good thing?
You're staying in silent for a long time, just listening to the sound of the rain and your breaths.
“I'm not heartless,” he whispers eventually, which surprises you. He doesn't speak too often without hearing the question first. “I remember them. I carry all of them in my heart...” He puts his fist on the left side of his chest. “I really do... But we can't talk too much about the past if we want to live our future.”
He looks at you, straight into your eyes. Something on his face changes. You have never seen that look there before. And this is the moment when you finally realize something about him. You understand now. He isn't heartless. Just heartbroken.