im trying to get more use out of my canva subscription (i use it a lot for college..) so Woe badly edited cazkayncore images be upon ye... im really obsessed with their dynamic if u cant tell .
more under keep reading btw !!! i just didnt wanna spam with 50k imgs...
it is Not Far from the 2 year anni of my finding and loving of alaris ... in honor of this i revamped my old mc because 1. i think my art has improved vastly since and 2. i have so many more Ideas...
as is my brand i am going to yap for god knows how long under the read more abt more mc fun facts and stuffsies for those curious... def contains spoilers for all the central routes so proceed with caution !! (if u can spot all the vague references im making abt mc's origin in the design.. hehe haha... ^_^)
(when im writing/drawing i always need a vibe-similar playlist so... i made one for alaris! filled with things i just generally felt were Alaris-Like, some matching my mc, some matching the LIs etc etc... feel free to check it out if ur interested !!)
MC FUN FACTS:
✰ general things: uses both he and she pronouns (gender & sexuality is the exact same as my own, androgyne & bisexual (i❤️self inserting)), 170cm (which is 5'6''.9 basically LOL but i always just say 5'7...). so yes this basically just is me irl i am caz caz is me .
✰ prooobably somewhere in his mid 20s? 24/25 maybe? i think people are always interpreting her as older than she actually is because of his status as a Skilled Healer. also just her general mannerisms with people shes not close with... she keeps a very serious and professional and polite distance from all of her patients. people usually place her around late 20s i feel like and she tries not to get offended about it
✰ ^ because of this lots of people think hes very standoffish (and she can be LOL) and they might have a lot of Opinions based on rumors from ppl talking about him this way, but usually if they actually go and see her as a patient theyll understand she means well, she just isnt very interested in being anyones friend. he is Your Doctor, nothing more than that.
✰ unforch has some major RBF which is what also lends to some ppl doubting her Good Character. shes also just incredibly awkward outside of any professional context so if they catch him in the street and are like OMG my doctor !!! hi!!! she'll be like Hello -_- (internally: why are they talking to me... i did not Prepare Properly for this interaction... what the hell am i supposed to say...) he will usually manage to just barely save it from going bad by diverting to healer-related things and following up on their condition, how they feel, if they need to visit him again soon, etc etc.
✰ has always felt some sort of Different and Other from all his peers... in part from being adopted, and part from her ability to see energy. this relates to her struggle with genuinely befriending people. he feels like he has to "act normal" and not "be weird" as these are things hes consistently been told/heard throughout his life.
learning that shes part fae does not actually come as some big surprise ... its just like this "ohhhhh" moment for him because at least now she has a Valid Reason to feel how she felt all her life. it doesnt come up in the game too too much but im really obsessed with the implications of it all . like imagine growing up and slowly noticing with every year subtle little things that are different about yourself and struggling to relate with all your peers ... not to mention losing like 12 years of ur past and missing all of those childhood memories ... almost like an allegory for something hmm... (sorry im projecting my szpd and ocd here HAHA)
✰ BIG acts of service fan. bad habit of basing her self-worth on her usefulness to others. like, befriending kayn and druk just "makes sense" to him since its like "oh theyre drakes? well if they get hurt, then i can heal them. thats a Good Relationship." and he genuinely honestly and truly does not believe that people are interested in being friends with him outside of what he can offer them. he likes these relationships because theyre simple and contractual/transactional and that comes with regular and expected interactions. realistically itd take me AGES to get close with the central gang but its fun to think abt how the stakes of the game problems would be able to accelerate those relationships...
CAZKAYN FACTS:
(note: this is exclusively a kayn mc because im down bad. horrifically so. im one of those people that has to make a whole new mc for every route usually so ofc i give myself kayn 🥰🥰🥰)
✰ it is so hard to ship name characters that both have less than 5 letters in their names... so u just gotta combine em... i like cazkayn because if u say it really really fast u can almost imagine ur saying "candy cane" LOL. and i think thats cute !! i think it matches !!! kayn is the red part of the candy cane and caz is the white.
✰ something i wrote on my original mc sheet was "the adventures of loverboy and hatergirl" AND THIS IS STILL SO TRUE. lover x hater relationships are so dear to me
✰ caz is at first Incredibly Wary of kayn. she has PLENTY of negative past experiences with people being incredibly forward with him just to get things from him instead of having any genuine interest in her as a person, so at first kayn's forwardness and flirtiness is met with a pretty blank face and lack of engagement. shes not outright harsh or anything, but its obvious he doesnt trust most of what kayn says about him. i imagine kayn would catch onto this and tone it down around her while she simultaneously is like Oh ok theyre just Like That and would learn to be more chill about it. even after learning this however the flirty comments still dont phase caz in the slightest. he thinks its funny to not give kayn the satisfaction of flustering him.
✰ kayn does get her eventually tho... once caz starts getting genuine vibes of Wait is he being serious... and starts truly considering the idea of kayn liking her and her liking them she becomes more susceptible to his advances which im sure kayn would Delight in.
✰ theyre very different in how they carry themselves and their general demeanor but theyre both quite skilled in matching the others energy (and have similar traumas i fear). true INTP/ENFP couple ... contrary to popular belief caz is capable of humor sometimes, and he knows how to pick his moments. and like we see in the game kayn is obvi very capable of a much greater depth than he likes to let on. i feel like on the surface it seems like they arent very compatible but once they start getting to know each other better it genuinely reaches a flow state like woah woah...
first time fic posting !!! last semester i took a creative writing class so ive gotten really into writing again which means... bbd fic... please keep in mind it is HIGHLY INDULGENT and i wrote it solely for myself (and i will continue to do so i fear) and i am not at all familiar with how to go about posting fics but! i really liked how it was turning out so i thought id share it !! i will also mention i started it a few months ago and just got around to finishing it, so if anything reads weird or sounds odd just blame it on that...
more info before you read: it is lane and caz (my sona) focused, from lane's pov! its not x reader or self-insertable soz. its around 2.7k words! i do hope you enjoy it ^_^!
She makes her presence known with the slamming of the staff door--once to open it, again to close it. Lane doesn't even have to glance up at her to know she's in a particularly pissy mood tonight.
"Wow, babe, slamming doors only an hour into the shift, huh? That time of the month?"
He immediately knows he fucked up by the sharp exhale from her nose.
"Do not fucking say that to me."
His mouth automatically snaps shut, and he can't help but wince as another slam rings out, this time from the employee door that leads to the back alley.
"… Fuuuuck," he hisses. "Great job, Lane. Fucking idiot."
He idles for a few long moments, silently debating if it's worth it, before leaning up off the wall to go follow her.
He finds Caz outside, sitting low on some random box with her arm propped on her knee, hand on her forehead. He knows she hears him, but she doesn't react to his presence at all. He pretends that he's only there for a smoke break and uses the opportunity to gather his nerve.
Haltingly, Lane broaches the topic, "Yo, uh, look. I'm sorry. I didn't… it was a dumb joke," he clears his throat awkwardly, horrifically unused to this. "It's just… you know. The stupid shit I say. I didn't mean it."
She lets out a long sigh, sitting up to lean back against the wall of the building, staring ahead at the graffiti on the opposite wall.
"It's fine, it's whatever."
"… Didn't sound like whatever to me?"
Finally, she tips her head towards him, looking up in resignation.
"It wasn't, but it's whatever now. I dunno. Too much work to stay angry at shit, especially when it comes out of your stupid mouth."
Lane snorts, "Yep, that's alllll me, babe. 'Lane and his stupid fucking mouth', heard it a thousand times."
"More like a million. But, yeah. Whatever. It's all relationships are, y'know. You piss each other off, you apologize for it and promise not to do it again, but you'll both probably end up fuckin' it up again next week. You forgive 'em anyway," she sniffs, sticking her hands in the front pocket of her apron. She's sensitive to the cold, he's started to notice.
"We a relationship to you?"
Finally, she huffs out a quiet laugh. Thank God.
"You're aware 'relationship' is a general term? Like.. platonic, familial, too?"
"And romantic," he grins, falling into their typical back-and-forth easily. "I just like hearing what I wanna hear."
She only shakes her head at him, but at least there's a smile on her face now.
"So… uh, we good?" he asks slowly, after a beat of silence.
"Hm? Oh, yeah, we're good, babe," she mimics his earlier tone, amusement in her voice, before she's abruptly serious again. "Just don't ever say shit like that to me again. I mean it. I know I just talked 'bout forgivin' and everythin', but there's shit I can tolerate and shit I can't. This is something I can't."
Lane swallows. It's kinda hot when she's mean to him, but she'd probably get annoyed again if he said that now. Though, it is really fun to hear that accent of hers come out. It doesn't happen often, but, damn, when it does? Definitely hot.
"Yeah. Yeah, got it. Noted," he acquiesces. It's not hard to find other shit to bother her with, anyway. Best not to die on this hill of all places.
Caz suddenly jolts as a rush of air rolls through the narrow alley, and she curls further into herself.
"You not used to the cold or something?" he questions, curious as ever about her but trying to go about it in a way that didn't make it obvious he cared.
"Ugh," she grumbles, breath a visible puff of smoke, "I'm from the south, of course I'm cold. It's November. Back home, it'd still be seventy fuckin' degrees right now."
He opens his mouth.
"Do not say some shit like 'Ohhh, but Caz, I can warm you uuuup~'," she takes on this fake whiny voice that is apparently mimicking him, hugging herself in dramatic fashion.
He closes his mouth.
Then he can't help but let out an almost baffled laugh, "Shit, are you pre-firing me now? You that in love with me already?"
She deadpans at him, "Madly."
He blinks. She is clearly joking.
Right?
"Hah, of course. You hear those wedding bells chiming, too?" It's easier to just joke back--keep their little game going--than to wonder about the implications. Who cares? He doesn't. Obviously.
In lieu of continuing their joke, she hisses when there's another breeze, "All I hear is fuckin' wind," she hugs herself tighter. "No, like, seriously. How the fuck are your arms not freezing right now? I have on three layers if you count the apron, and I'm still fucking cold."
Genuinely, he doesn't remember the last time he's met a woman that swears as much as she does. Like, come on, three 'fuck's in one sentence? He's jokingly "scolded" her for it countless times, but she always just tells him to go fuck himself. Honestly? He thought it was one of her charm points--another thing he finds hot. He won't ever admit that, though.
"Wellllll, Caz, if you must know," he tilts his head with a smirk. She's just given him the perfect opportunity. He uncrosses his arms, letting the cold flow over his bare skin, "I'm just so strong, you know. What sort of man cries over a little cold? I can handle it just fine. No biggie. Of course a woman would--"
"Ohhh my fucking god," she groans as soon as she realizes her mistake. "Shut uuup. Literally has nothing to do with my fucking gender, you freak, as I, like, just said, I am from South Carolina. We don't have winter there. It doesn't even matter how long I've lived here either, I still get cold. It's just in my genes or some bullshit."
"… I know something else that could be in your jeans."
Caz abruptly shoots to her feet, stepping forward to stand right in front of him. She's almost as tall as him in those heavy boots she wears. He knows they give her a couple inches, he-- uh, totally didn't check when she wasn't paying attention or anything. Who cares if a woman is that tall? But it doesn't even matter, 'cause she isn't. He has got to see her out of them so he can finally know how big their height difference really is. Like, how far would she have to tilt her head back to look up at him?
She stares right back at him, unflinchingly, her glare deepening as she probably guesses exactly what he's thinking.
"I hope a fucking airplane turbine falls onto your bed when you're sleeping and crushes you horribly. I hope you suffer terribly and your body is mangled beyond recognition."
Lane immediately whistles, "Woah, babe, is that a movie reference? Girls watch those? No wayyy!"
"Oh, fuck off. As if you've watched Donnie Darko and actually understood it, you fucking imbecile."
"Duh. It's just time travel and shit, right? Not that hard to get," he lies. He has no fucking clue what the ending of that movie actually meant--he even looked it up once and still didn't really get it.
She rolls her eyes, "Uh-huh, you definitely understand deus ex machina and the concept of timeline manipulation and the difference between the tangent and primary universes."
Wow, that's a lot of words. He totally understands them all. Totally. He nods as if he's actually following what she's saying.
Instead of continuing to test him, she lets him off the hook with a snort, a knowing look in her eye, "Yeah, that's what I thought. That's why I'm the one with a college degree."
"Tch, like your art degree or whatever makes you sooo much smarter than me. You probably just… took a whole lot of bullshit classes, right? Like, intro to gender studies, or some shit," he scoffs, finally breaking their eye contact to gaze off at the end of the alley. Whatever--he doesn't care if she's smarter than him. That shit's all 'subjective' anyway, right? Though, it really does beg the question how she ended up here, of all places, with him. Shouldn't someone with some fancy degree be able to get a job that actually pays her well?
"For your information, I actually have taken a class like that, and I do think I am smarter for it."
His eyes flick back to her, "Then why are you here?" he can't help but ask. Then, he internally winces at how harsh it sounded. He didn't mean it like that--he just wants to know more about her.
He watches the way her smug face visibly falls, and she finally steps away to stand beside him instead so that she can lean against the wall. She crosses her arms and hides her hands, obviously still cold.
"… Whatever. Maybe it was all bullshit. Four years of my life, and for what? To have fuckin' no one show up to my graduation? To struggle for a full year to get a job, and when I finally do, it's got absolutely nothing to do with anything I've learned? To then only get paid minimum wage on top of that? Right. Completely worth all the student loans I still have to pay back," she laughs bitterly.
Shit.
He can't even enjoy the satisfaction he feels at hearing her (indirectly and vaguely) admit he was right about something because he's clearly upset her again, in a different way this time.
Ugh. Is this seriously the only thing he's good at anymore? Fucking it all up?
"… Uh. Yo, my bad. Again. It's just-- I meant… like, you don't seem like you should be here. You should be doing some stupid fancy art stuff that I don't get. Something… better. Like, you know that shit where people just pour paint randomly all over a canvas and get thousands of dollars for it? Because it's 'abstract' or whatever?" Once again, all he can do is attempt some shitty joke and hope it lands. Hey, she said she'd forgive him anyway, right?
Miraculously, it seems she will. Again. She rubs a hand across her face before suddenly laughing at the absurdity of it all, "The fuck you know about abstract art?"
Then, before he can say anything else, she launches into an impromptu lecture, "No, yeah, I agree. Some of it is totally fuckin' pretentious bullshit. Not all of it is. There's plenty of stuff out there that seems like 'anyone could do it', but it's about the meaning behind it, the… emotions put into it. You know, the thought that counts," she pauses briefly at this, glancing at him for some reason, before immediately continuing, "but instead, some assholes are just like 'Yeah! Let's hang this paint can upside down and spin it around over this canvas until it makes something that looks cool'! Which would be fine--nothing wrong with the only meaning being 'looks cool'--if it wasn't incredibly obvious it was just soulless shit made to attract people who know nothing about art theory and want something to hang up in their beige ass ugly living room," she ends her tirade with a heavy sigh, having worked herself up. She even throws her hands up in exasperation, for good measure.
Jesus, clearly he's hit a nerve. She's been holding that in for awhile apparently. He doesn't think he's heard her talk this long without stopping, like, ever. What's more crazy is he didn't interrupt her. Usually, he'd butt in with some dumbass comment or joke, but he found himself being actually quite interested in what she was saying. She really was knowledgeable about this--and he didn't genuinely expect her to agree with him??
When he doesn't immediately respond, she seems to realize just how much she said and quickly averts her eyes. She even reaches up to pull at her hair to hide her face from him. The cold gives her some plausible deniability about the red flush in her cheeks, but he'd prefer to imagine she's embarrassed.
"Aww, what? Done with your little presentation already? Don't you wanna explain more 'art theory' to me?" he grins playfully, leaning closer to her.
"Oh my God. As if you care," Caz complains, copying his movement and leaning away to keep him from getting too close.
"Yeah, nah, I don't care," he lies (again), "but your face when you're focused is pretty cute."
She squeezes herself tighter, angling her body further away from him, "Fuck off."
"Come onnn," Lane continues to invade her personal space, "how about you finally let me warm you up~?" he even makes sure to imitate her earlier tone. By now, he knows how close she'll let him get before genuinely getting pissed at him. He's toeing that limit carefully, now.
Another thing he's learned is she really hates being touched suddenly, especially with no prior warning. He's found he has the most success when he makes his intentions abundantly clear, like wordlessly offering a hand or gesturing. Fine by him. He doesn't mind pretending to be a 'proper gentleman'. Only recently has she allowed him casual touches, though not without rolling her eyes or complaining about it.
He's being an asshole, as per usual, but he is getting a little genuinely worried about how cold she's starting to look. It was funny before, sure, but she's actually shivering now. The smart thing would just be to go back inside because he knows she'd inevitably follow him in, but… then she'll just go back to work, and he'll go back to standing alone in the backroom scrolling mindlessly on his phone. Selfishly, and stupidly, he doesn't want this moment to end yet. Inwardly, some ugly, pathetic little part of himself begs her, Don't go.
Usually, if she's uninterested in whatever contact he's trying to initiate, she'll be very firm with her rejections. Now, however, she says nothing.
Lane blinks momentarily, then seizes the opportunity, "I'm not hearing a 'no'?"
"Yeah, you're used to hearing 'no', aren't you," Caz murmurs, but there's no bite to it. She doesn't move.
"Just do what you wanna fuckin' do, Lane."
Well. That's the closest he'll get to a 'yes' out of her, he thinks.
Slowly, as if he were approaching a stray feral cat, he raises his hands in her direction. He makes his intentions obvious, waits for her to say something and, when she doesn't, carefully places his palms over her hands. He coaxes her to uncross her arms, which she allows with a begrudged huff.
Then, he brings her hands towards his face so he can blow a hot puff of air on her freezing fingers.
Caz startles immediately, and Lane only grins proudly at her, pulling the best innocent face he can muster, "What? It's warm, right?"
"Idiot," she hisses, face flushing redder. Definitely embarrassed.
Incredibly surprisingly, she doesn't pull away. In fact, she even curls the tips of her fingers around him in return, just barely officially classifying it as 'reciprocal hand-holding'.
"Fine," Caz hums, finally meeting his gaze, "warm me up, then, pretty boy."
Once more, Lane is stunned by her sudden boldness. She has this very annoying ability to surprise him during the moments he least expects her to. And, normally, something like 'pretty boy' would only serve to annoy him. He heard that shit a thousand times back in high school. But there's something about the way she said it… it didn't sound mocking. Does she actually think he's--
Wait, why the hell is flustered over a stupid nickname and some cutesy little hand-holding? Is he a fucking virgin again??
Luckily, before Caz has any time to point out the blush on his face, they're both shocked from their little moment together when a customer decides to round the corner into the alley, anger clear in their body language, "Hello??? Does anybody fucking work here???"
Lane clicks his tongue while Caz sighs loudly, already pulling away from him to head back in through the employee door. She casts one last lingering look at him, before she's gone.
Would he be stupid to think she also didn't want it to end?
ive been a keyframes lurker for so long i cant believe this is my first time posting for it ... but i just had to participate in the socmed templates THEY WERE SO FUN TO MAKE !!!
i used the ship templates too ^_^ under read more to keep this post from being too long T_T (my brand)
and aurora is my platonic route 🙂↕️ @blank-house release cam and dejas socials too and my life is yours
mc character sheet !! i really tried to match how laly did bb's cuz i adore the style 🙂↕️
as per usual with me (i worry about making my posts too long...), i have loooots more miscellaneous info under read more ^_^
first, some obligatory appreciation: LALY I LOVE YOUR GAME SM !!! your characterization is so peak and the narrative is just so intriguing even from only 2 shifts ive been theorizing like crazy... i really really enjoy the point and click sections ithink its super unique and not something ive really seen any other otomes use recently. the interaction there just makes the world seem so much more alive and it really pulls me into the story! the overall style is also SO COOL i love how dreary and almost bleak the environment looks and the decision to have only the sprites in color is SUCH A GOOD ONE. i just completely adore everything youve done so far !!! and seeing your interaction with the community here has been so fun, the way you engage with everyone is so nice !!!! i am so so so excited to continue playing future shifts, and i endlessly appreciate your hard work !!!
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OK now im just going to gush about a bunch of mc facts/background that have been rattling around in my brain (OMG this turned out to be SO long, if anyone actually reads all of this I LOVE YOU)
~ she grew up in a VERY small southern town, particularly in the lowcountry. shes an only child to a rather well-to-do family with a well-known reputation in the area. her father is retired military, and her mother is an elementary school teacher.
~ was a very rebellious teenager always getting into screaming matches with her parents or nearly starting fights with anyone who tried bullying her or her best friend. was sort of a delinquent, but maintained near perfect grades as she knew college was her only getaway from her horrible, awful, oppressive, insufferable hometown. she gained a notoriety after she smashed the headlights and mirrors of her high school's football team quarterback's car. she managed to escape the consequences since there was no real proof (her parents influence didnt hurt either) besides getting suspended for a few days. people started calling her "slugger" after this. (her years of playing softball paid off)
~ her style of dress was always alternative. when she was younger she was always called a tomboy since she preferred masculine clothing and looks. she rejected the typical ideal of girlhood, especially what was expected of girls in the south, in every single way she possibly could. (these are ideals she continues to maintain. shes very much mellowed out since, but she still despises gender roles and refuses to adhere to what society says women should be, what they can and cant do, etc. if bb were to tell her he thinks women shouldnt swear or drink, she'd take a baseball bat to his kneecaps LMFAO.)
~ as soon as it was possible, she moved away to NY for college. her parents had kicked her out at 18 for being outed as lesbian, so she never once looked back.
~ re:lesbian--she believed she was only attracted to girls for a LONG time since she had a very codependent kindof toxic relationship with her ex-best friend since 5 years old. she crushed on her bsf HARD and only had eyes for her. it wasnt until after their very messy falling out at 20 that she realized she was bisexual and (unfortunately) also attracted to men.
~ she went to an art school (with her ex-bsf, who dropped out halfway through to return home after their "breakup") and graduated with a bfa in illustration at 22. she wanted to get into concept art particularly for game development but didnt particularly care where she ended up as long as she could paint. of course, she was so unlucky as to graduate in 2008, during the recession. she struggled to find any work in her field, so she ended up picking up a lot of odd jobs as she continued searching. before the start of BBD, i like to think she was a hostess for a fancy restaurant, but got fired after she refused to re-dye the purple pieces of her hair back to black. and this is how she ends up at mad dog convenience 🙂↕️(tho this might be retconned by future updates LOL) she isnt actively searching for something art-related now and is probably pretty close to giving up entirely at this point. shes felt disillusioned for awhile and feels like shes losing the one chance at getting the future shes always dreamed of. (especially since shes still working her ass off to pay off student loans)
~ if shes not working, shes at home doing 1 of 3 things: painting, playing games, or sleeping. she has no social life and doesnt really care to have one--shes way too busy absolutely bodying kids in left 4 dead 2 versus mode. she hasnt even talked to her parents since 18, so, seriously, besides lane and amelia (if you even can count her due to whatevers gone on between them...?) she has no one else to talk to
~ shes very very good at fps in particular. l4d2 is her favorite of all time, but she also plays lots of call of duty, halo, battlefield, fallout, etcetc. she'll play other genres too though and particularly enjoys stuff like portal, mirrors edge, resident evil, silent hill, mass effect, and dragon age. she is, however, TERRIBLE at fighting games. she can never memorize the combos and always ends up button mashing until she inevitably dies. (she will 100% beat the shit out of lane if he even dares to imply women arent good at games just because she loses one round of tekken against him. she'd probably end up struggling for hours trying to learn the mechanics so she could get good at it out of spite.)
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now cazne (LMFAO) things cuz im insane about their dynamic
~ genuinely believes that all of lane's flirting and interest in her has been one long-running joke just to fuck with her. she grew up being the "ugly" girl boys used to ask out "as a dare". she was, at the very least, old enough to know she was being bullied so she never had to face the embarrassment of accepting only to be rejected. still, this behavior normalized the idea of her being "undesirable", and it's something that tends to permeate every interaction she has even at 23. this leads to her only ever acting with indifference towards lane's advances. once she actually considers him a friend, however, she will entertain him, but only in a similarly joking manner. (i think theyre honestly pretty alike in this regard, at least from what we've learned about lane so far.) vulnerability is insanely difficult for her, partly because shes just a very private person in general and hates getting caught being any type of "emotional", also because the one person she'd ever gotten close with, a friend of FIFTEEN years, up and abandoned her without a second thought. she fears that, if she genuinely admits to lane she likes him (even in just a platonic way), the shoe will drop, and he'll laugh in her face, tell her shes soooo idiotic for even thinking he would actually reciprocate, etcetc.
~ shes worked VERY hard to build a persona of someone who is always winning the IDGAF war. and to her credit, she is usually winning. but deep down, she cares about shit a lot. she rarely gets close with people, so when she does, she wants to keep them at all costs. she wants them to like her, to want her, to desire her. the day she realizes she actually likes lane and not just in a "ok my stupid coworker is funny sometimes" sort of like, she drops everything she was doing and screams into a pillow for like 5 straight minutes. shes the epitome of "yearning sounds too delicate. whatever i go through is much more disgusting". holding affection for someone else feels like a curse. it feels like its giving someone power over her (something she vehemently hates). she goes through the five stages of grief until she finally reaches a tired acceptance. she'll let it happen, but she isnt holding out hope for any sort of reciprocity.
~ begins her weird little ways of showing affection by first just silently standing around lane whenever she gets the chance. if hes in the back (like he always is) and theres no customers for her to ring up, then she'll go back there too and awkwardly stand near him. in her mind, its a monumental occasion for her to prefer the company of someone else over her own solitude, so simply being in his presence for seemingly no reason is her trying to show how much she likes him.
~ 100% makes him her muse. at first shes just like "he has good facial structure so i wanna draw it" but then shes genuinely filling entire sketchbook pages of him and doodling him on scrap pieces of paper when shes bored and thats how she knows shes fucked. she'd probably be the type to paint him for a birthday gift MONTHS in advance and spend an inordinate amount of time perfecting it.
~ i can TOTALLY see a scenario happening where lane catches her drawing and he does that stupid school boy thing where he tries to take her sketchbook from her to see what shes drawing (this happened to me so many times as a kid) OR hes immediately like "you should draw me" (also happened to me a lot). if he actually asked her this she would vehemently refuse because she hates drawing in front of people and does NOT want to admit to him that she does in fact think he has a good face. though she would later come in next shift, give him her best sketch of him, and immediately avoid him for the rest of the day.
~ for all her insecurities, though, i think the MOMENT she realizes lane actually does like her back and that "ok maybe hes like actually flirting with me" she'll get this almost scary sort of confident directness about her. she does not GAF about any sort of gender roles, womens OR mens, she will happily be the one to court lane and frankly she would love it if he was into her being "the boyfriend" of the relationship. (truthfully she wouldnt use labels like that--she'll act however she wants to act regardless of what "role" it puts her in, and she'd extend the same towards lane. he can act whatever way he wants to around her.)
um... im surprised theres not a word count limit O_O i could probably keep talking about them for AGES but i think ill just save anything else for other posts ^_^ like i said above if you read all of this i love you and my asks are always open if anyone wants to talk abt bbd with me ill go crazy with you HEART
OMG i cant believe i only just realized i never posted my silly doodles here ... i shall finally release them into the wild in honor of @crescencestudio's official discord release (you should so totally join you can find me there ^_^) AND the imminent EA release !!!
NO SPOILERS but one of my FAVORITE things throughout all the routes was how fun the central dynamics were, especially kayn and druk's (obviously i have some biases...) so im so excited to see everyones reactions playing the EA !!! YOU WILL LOVE IT !!!!
like always with me original ref imgs are under read more >_^
I SWEAR IM CAPABLE OF DRAWING SERIOUS THINGS but i keep finding posts that are so #themcore that i cant help myself ...
original img + some rambling because im utterly obsessed under read more ⬇️⬇️
i keep trying to think of a good ship name for them but it doesnt workkkk SOB. this is what happens when people with 4 letter and 3 letter names get together. cane ? like the fried chicken ? yeah sure.. whatever .... laz ??!?! even worse. add a y and thats just lane normally. i think the answer is just to shove the names together. cazlane. lanecaz. good enough . if i was more creative i could come up with something unique but i fear i am not witty enough forthat
and entirely unrelated but--in my head lane is starting to sound soo much like john kryoz cuz ive been watching tons of his streams and vids while drawing SOB. the way he rages just reminds me so much of lane i can imagine him raging at tekken in the exact same way . IDK to me the youtuber gamer-esque voice fits too LMFAO
paint me a heaven of love with your bloodied mouth
click for better quality ( ˘ ³˘)♥︎ + closeup underneath
twas a redraw of this from 2023 ! the old one was one of my fav pieces ever but there was a lot abt it id always wanted to fix so ive been itching to redo it for awhile now. i really really liked how i rendered her outfit and just the overall cohesiveness of the color palette is so much nicer on the eyes compared to the old one (<- guy whos since learned about the wonders of gradient maps)
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