Stoic Pile of Princess

Just trying to be me, until it's all I can see - PSA: not single, not happy, not healthy, not sane, not working, not childless, not wealthy, not pretending

[stoicpileofprincess]

No one to talk to about it.

Nowhere to escape from it.

Not enough me even left to even try.

[stoicpileofprincess]

i wish it was all different

[stoicpileofprincess]

"You don't have to go to Timbuktu in a shovel to know that bacon has grease in it!!!"

[stoicpileofprincess]

[stoicpileofprincess]

I hate doctors.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Me to neighbor: It's crazy, I think I'm having anaphylactic reactions to grass. I'm trying wearing a mask, but I still have to be careful.

Neighbor: Wow, really?! What a crock that it's that bad and you can't go see the specialist because of the pandemic. I hope you can manage okay.

Also, neighbor: *immediately goes to mow the lawn that is right next to where I am gardening* 🤦‍♀️😥

Thanks dude. - posted about from the indoors of my lockdown jail.

[stoicpileofprincess]

In so much pain.

[stoicpileofprincess]

You know your nausea is bad when they give you nausea pills for chemo patients. 😳 Feeling better.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Omg, I stole today! But, I'm old, so it was flowers. Plus, it was Walmart, so I don't feel bad.

[stoicpileofprincess]

I'm beginning to wonder if kind, gentle, mindful men even exist or if it's like a unicorn thing.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Therapy is so hard online.

Brutal.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Just over a year ago I was told that I would no longer be able to practice yoga. Meanwhile at home the contractors were literally building my then dubbed "yoga studio". There has been a lot of grief attached to having to abandon my yoga practice.

My common sense knows that I can still practice safely, it just takes time to figure it out. It seems impossible. My trial and error so far has resulted in pain. Some pain is good. Learning limits is good. But, being immobile the next day isn't.

I just can't. I just can't.

Please come and find me motivation and determination. I really miss my yoga life.

[swirling-orbs-of-disorder]

Gulliver taking some “me time.”

photograph by Algis Griskevicius

[stoicpileofprincess]

How to tell if you are fed up of lockdown? You are sitting in a puddle with your dollhouses. 🤣 Hopefully it won't come to that!

[intosnarkness]

Hey, take it from someone creeping towards 40:

Ignore the fun police.

If you like it, order your steak well done. Get your bagel toasted with jam and butter. Put ice in your scotch and ketchup on your hotdog. Get red wine with fish and white with steak. Who cares?

If you want to, listen to pop music. Watch blockbuster popcorn flicks. Read dime store novels. Enjoy them.

Dye your hair or cut it off. Paint your fingernails blue. Wear whatever the fuck you want on your own time (ie, when not at a job or school or whatever where you can get penalized for breaking rules) as long as you aren’t like welding or shoveling snow.

Anyone who tries to tell you you’re wrong? Say “okay” and go back to what you were doing. You’re not hurting them by enjoying yourself or having things the way you like them.

There are no caveats or addendums to this. No “but what about x?” Nah. You’re allowed the things you like. You don’t have to justify your taste or apologize for it if it’s not hurting anyone.

And likewise, let other people live their lives. We’re all dead in the long run, so tend your own garden before you become fertilizer in it.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Pandemicly burnt. Filled with hurt. Reaching for the remote and grabbing reality. Leave me be, but lie with me. Go away, but make sure to stay. Every thought like a bunch of ants, working it's way through the toxic sludge. When is it over? When will it go? I will sit here and wait, but it never gets better.

[stoicpileofprincess]

Subtitles, always.

[stoicpileofprincess]

VERY bubbly nurse giving me a bloodtest: "Oh, don't mind me. Hahahah. It's just what my husband calls my personality disorder."

Me: *uncomfortably wondering if I should say, "Oh, hey I have a real one of those." .... or anything. (I did not.)

I did let it simmer in my mind all day, so I am venting it out into nothing so it goes away.