#chronically exhausted

[mysticbearrr]

[cubbihue]

warm up scribbles

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[nd-babblinggoblinfromthevoid]

I hate waking up and being ready to just go back to sleep again. No matter the amount of sleep.

30 minutes

3 hours

13 hours

I've even pulled a 30+ before (that was due to medication mixup and was scary but anyway)

Doesn't matter. Always exhausted. Always ready to hunker down for nap/sleep. Years and years of fatigue. I barely remember what it was like to be hyper and energetic and bouncing around ready for adventures.

Now I'm only ever mentally pining for adventures knowing full well my body wouldn't let me go and if I went anyway it'd be the last anyone saw of me.

I need to interrupt this pitiful whining with the observation that my youngest's silhouette right at this moment looks like shinchan standing on the dining room chair particularly his head-cheek shape and well that's all carryon

[rachymarie]

It's true sometimes i only have the energy to ramble online into the void, that's like when I'm on the dwindling backup generator lol it's not like enough energy to "be productive" get my irl stuff done. It's like how my old computer was on the shut down screen for like 5 minutes which felt like forever so it was basically still on but I couldn't use it for anything and i also couldn't just close the laptop so like basically in brain limbo

Cos I have been accused before of having "enough energy to blog/ramble online", implying i could have done the more pressing tasks, but like I'm not sure if maybe that's cos most people don't understand how chronic illness/fatigue works

Like different types of activities take different types and amounts of energy: like the energy it takes to ramble online is a different kind of energy than is needed to carry out physical or even mentally strenuous tasks. Rambling and using big or more complicated words is kinda natural to me so it actually takes more energy to not indulge all the "musings" that come into my head demanding to be let out. If that makes sense

Do any of my tired homies relate to the having different energy types and having like a lower-level backup energy reserved for things more natural to you?

[stoicpileofprincess]

In so much pain.

[corvidprompts]

“I would like... death.”

“No death. Sleeping is permitted, but only for less than fourteen hours a day or it just becomes depression napping.”

[mysticbearrr]

- goes to bed, thinking i’ll sleep great because i’m 2 and a half weeks overdue a b12 injection

- gets insomnia instead

- starts aching in my left knee, left elbow, lower back, neck and shoulders

- starts inevitably googling symptoms, of which still all indicate the same thing

- spends the night rehearsing an imaginary conversation of what i’d say to a doctor

[mysticbearrr]