Stone Magpie Woman

Canadiana and cool rocks.

[claypigeonpottery]

sold

cardinal inspired velociraptor cave art

[hoot-alex]

[hoot-alex]

[oneterabyteofkilobyteage]

original url http://www.geocities.com/SouthBeach/Pointe/1333/

archived on 2009-04-27 06:39:31

[depsidase]

[stonemagpiewoman]

[everydaylouie]

springtime ☀️

[stonemagpiewoman]

Springtime? SPRINGTIME? Thine art is lovely to the eye, but praytell whemst in springtime ones sits WITH BARED ARMS ON GRASS, SHIELDING THINE EYES FROM THE SUNS HEAT?

Come friend, and sit with me, garbed in such light fripperies on this fine April Day, by the flowing river of Spring's Delight viewed out of mine window this very morn:

[valtsv]

"defenestrate" is one of my favorite words in the english language because it's just so damn specific. like there's only one situation you'll ever be able to use it in but you might as well be prepared just in case.

[valtsv]

[stonemagpiewoman]

Even better, the Czechs love defenestrations so much that there have been not one, not two, but three Defenestrations of Prague.

1419 - First Defenestration of Prague: Angry mob of proto-Protrestants throw a judge and city councillors out a window, King Wenceslas dies of shock.

1618 - Second Defenestration of Prague: Protestsnt lords throw representatives of the Catholic King out a window. The representatives survive due to the cushioning effects of a dung heap, but the event kicks off the Thirty Years' War.

1948 - Third Defenestration of Prague: The non-partisan Foreign Affairs Minister is found dead in his pyjamas, having fallen from his office window. He is one of the few people in the way politically of the Communist takeover of government. Soviet intelligence rules it a "suicide".

Defenestrations of Prague - Wikipedia

[mikkeneko]

[mikkeneko]

GUESS WHAT TIME OF YEAR IT IS

TIME FOR THIS POST TO TORMENT ME AGAIN

When I made this post I foolishly failed to include timestamps on it, BUT this year I will not be so remiss:

BELOW IS A CHART SHOWING HOW LONG IT TAKES TO THAW A FULLY FROZEN TURKEY, BY POUND

So IF you have a FULL 24lb TURKEY and plan to refrigerator thaw it, the time to start is: No Sooner Than Friday, November 18th.

IF you have a SMALL turkey, the time to start is: No Sooner Than Monday, November 21st.

𝐼𝐹 𝒴𝒪𝒰 𝐻𝒜𝒱𝐸 𝒲𝒜𝐼𝒯𝐸𝒟 𝒰𝒩𝒯𝐼𝐿 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝒟𝒜𝒴 𝐵𝐸𝐹𝒪𝑅𝐸 𝒯𝐻𝒜𝒩𝒦𝒮𝒢𝐼𝒱𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒯𝒪 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝑅𝒯 𝒯𝐻𝒜𝒲𝐼𝒩𝒢 𝒴𝒪𝒰𝑅 𝒯𝒲𝐸𝒩𝒯𝒴-𝒫𝒪𝒰𝒩𝒟 𝒯𝒰𝑅𝒦𝐸𝒴

[stonemagpiewoman]

Me before I remember Americans do Thanksgiving a month late

[seat-safety-switch]

Do you love sports? I love a sport. That sport is called Zamboni. It consists of several minutes of big dudes wearing skates kicking the shit out of each other, until a piece of ice-surfacing equipment powered by a 1979 Volkswagen four-banger comes out and cleans up all the blood. You have to see it: these guys are like artisans; working the blade, the turning brake, and the throttle deftly to put on a show and leave the ice in perfect condition for the flawed monkeys to continue to eviscerate each other upon as soon as the beer ads finish.

Now, of course I’ve owned a Zamboni. And in fact, “Zamboni” is just one of many brands of ice resurfacing machine out there today. You can save a lot of money if you know this fact: everyone and their dog is looking for the name brand, so ads with a B- or C-grade rink stripper are gonna sink to the bottom, where they’ll find a pitifully small amount of your money. There are just two problems with owning one of these fine beasts. First, the top speed is annoyingly low, and second, Big Government keeps plowing away all the snow around my house before it can be turned into shiny, flawless rink-grade ice.

The first problem, as with so many others, can be fixed with sufficient addition of gearing. Since these things are made out of busted-ass old Volkswagen Fox parts, all it takes is understanding where the Fox ends and the Chevy S-10 begins, and then swapping out the cogs in the gearbox with the appropriately-chosen ones. Yes, it means that the 0-60 suffers, but you can fix that with a turbocharger. You don’t even need to intercool it: need I remind you of the giant pile of slowly-melting water that you’re sitting on?

Gearing up your Zamboni to highway speed does invite further problems: I was barely able to finish my break-in tune before the local law enforcement became aware of my actions. Nothing is more antagonizing to them than the existence of liberated, free thinkers such as myself. They may also have been angry that the aforementioned “pitifully small amount of [my] money” was in fact zero dollars, because I stole the fucker right out of a Timbits League game when I was supposed to be working. Hey, it’s my first day, what do you want from me?

Where was I? Oh yes, the ice quality. Here’s the thing: once you lead your pursuers out of the city, where there’s no road clearing, and drop the shaver, it’s difficult for the authorities to continue their pursuit. Maybe it’s because they’re in awe of the gloriously clear ice and have stopped to play a patriotic game of shinny, or it could be because the Lethal-Force-Spec™ Military Terrain® all-seasons that the patrol cruisers are equipped with are better at being bulletproof than they are at being snow tires.

[digitaldiscipline]

This reached out and tenderly clasped the puck in my chest.

[stonemagpiewoman]

[professorcalculusstanaccount]

tintin’s phone

[stonemagpiewoman]

I am losing my goddamn mind at John vs John vs John John.

[transkafka-deactivated20150624]

ronald reagan died without knowing about bofa…

[debthaver-deactivated20170812]

who is ronald regean

[cloudsnothing]

bofa deez nuts

[mapsontheweb]

Most Purchased Caffeine Beverage By Country.

[stonemagpiewoman]

I think the difference between Canada and the US is that in Canada, only cola is allowed to be caffeinated - Mountain Dew, root beer, etc doesn't have caffeine. Gotta get your caffeine elsewhere!

[sklogw]

• <- earth from far away

[brucebocchi]

colorblind pride flag just dropped

[antpilled]

[rovermcfly]

Germs

[stonemagpiewoman]

He didnt need to go that hard and yet

[princesshamlet-deactivated20210]

as a jew i love having opinions on jesus. it’s like. no i don’t think he was messiah However Yes i am a fan of this dude. fucker said ‘it’s easier for a camel to go thru the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to go to heaven’ and proved his point by going absolutely ballistic flipping tables and chasing merchants with a whip in broad daylight in a synagogue. basically my thoughts on jesus are: 10/10 would go to brunch with.

[beggars-opera]

[romanticfistfight-deactivated20]

Being a Jew and genuinely getting upset seeing all the super white Jesus’s. Jesus had a better chance of looking exactly like my papa or my brother than looking like Kurt cobain. Why’s he blond? I’m like dude this representation of Jesus is sacrilegious lmao he’s Jewish and from Bethlehem he shouldn’t be out here looking like pewdiepie