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That Sinking Feeling

@strikemedowntohell

20's/ he-him

13.3K posts

strikemedowntohell

May 30

as usual, i have nothing good to offer

strikemedowntohell

May 30

I need to be put in a box so my mental illness can't contaminate anyone

#And if I'm lucky I can suffocate in there #And everyone would be better off #But yeah I want to beat myself bloody when it leaks out #Bc I know I'm insufferable. I live with me. Ik how corrosive i can be when I'm upset #And I know I should only express my negativity as much as strictly necessary to communicate properly for a given situation #But extra always spills out #And no one wants to (or should have to) deal with that.#And like granted- I don't have a confidant anymore so im swallowing a lot more.#But when I do talk I wish I kNew how to stop at least like 2 sentences earlier #I often betray the depth of the rot inside me this way. Which is off-putting at best and hurtful at worse #If only I wasn't such a piece of shit and I was more independent in life I wouldn't rely on family so much #And they could be more shielded from me #But I'd like that box in the meantime #my ravings #hate myself #mentally fucked #depressing shit #i'm a burden #mentally unstable #i'm a fuckup #i'm worthless #worthless

strikemedowntohell

May 30

It may be 2026 now but I don't have a future really. If we're honest.

strikemedowntohell

May 30

I'm so worthless, I hate that I'm alive.

#I'm so dependent on my family it's pathetic.#And it's not even like I'm physically or cognitively disabled and need a caretaker #I'm just fucking lazy and king of avoiding things and trying to get out of it or make it someone else's problem #But there's literally nothing else to blame but me and my choices #I hate that my family has wasted so much effort on me.#Yet I'm still a worthless lazy failure #I'm a burden #And not much else #Which is my own fault #my ravings #hate myself #mentally fucked #hate me #depressing shit #i'm pathetic #i'm worthless #im nothing #i'm lazy #Burden

strikemedowntohell

leavesfromthevine24

May 30

i think avoiding everything is going to save me for real this time

strikemedowntohell

unleash-the-krayken

May 29

strikemedowntohell

May 27

artagainstdepression

strikemedowntohell

May 27

depressedlover2000

strikemedowntohell

May 27

pastelbitchquotes

strikemedowntohell

May 27

strikemedowntohell

May 27

I’m always afraid

strikemedowntohell

May 27

everybody-wants-me-dead

strikemedowntohell

May 27

cummingcourtesy

strikemedowntohell

May 27

#Only in my dreams

strikemedowntohell

May 27

strikemedowntohell

May 27

I don't deserve someone to make me feel good

#Like emotionally or physically #I don't deserve to have someone I look forward to talking with and seeing and being with #I deserve to rot in my own head with nothing to fixate on but my self-ridicule #I Deserve to settle because I know so few people would tolerate me #It's pathetic #I don't try hard enough to make myself happy. Instead I just want to leech good feelings from other people #Which is why -at a fundamental level- I deserve to be alone.#hate myself #mentally fucked #my ravings #unlovable #hate me #i don't deserve love #i am unlovable #unrequited #Alone #lonely #isolation #social isolation #i'm worthless #Better off alone #im pathetic

strikemedowntohell

May 27

hey man, I'll give you 20 bucks if you kick me till I stop moving

#my ravings #hate myself #mentally fucked #hate me #depressing shit #i'm worthless #worthless piece of shit #im garbage #end me #Hurt me #im such a failure and a burden #I need to be punished

That Sinking Feeling @strikemedowntohell - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag